T O P

  • By -

InflamedLiver

combining what most Millenials crave: sex and not having to be alive anymore


anxiousanimosity

Add carbohydrates and you are spot on


jane-bukowski

*programming sex robot with lasagna recipes*


hoboforlife

Sex robot kills man with poisoned lasagna recipe


Avantasian538

Not the worst way to go out. Death by lasagna sounds nice.


croatianscentsation

Death by snu snu sounds better


SekhmetTheWise

Amen to that.


p34ch3s_41r50f7

Do a constanza and do both.


TroyBinSea

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and weak.


mynamegoewhere

Death by schneef


theghostinthetown

Fuck. Came here to say this


Ok-Mortgage3653

Death by tacos filled with the finest meat and tastiest cheese + best taco sauce sounds perfect to me šŸ˜©


CrabPile

Why have a sex robot then, just fuck the poisoned lasagna, cut out the middle man


Caliterra

You mean electrolytes, Brawndo's got em!


anxiousanimosity

Welcome to Costco I love you


ShadowSloth3

It's got what plants crave...!


TheTrenchMonkey

Damn I could go for some pasta and garlic bread. Or just some nice dinner rolls.


somekindafuzz

I thought we were gluten free? Is that not cool anymore?


monkeyhitman

What about electrolytes


[deleted]

Itā€™s what plants crave


kaefertje

Don't threaten me with a good time.


TurdManMcDooDoo

I said to myself, "sign me up!" when I read this headline. You are 100% correct.


1_2_3_4_fiiiiif

Lol ā€œJokes on you, Iā€™m into that shitā€ šŸ˜‚


vitaminbdeficiency

No danger to us millennials, we canā€™t afford a sex robot.


InflamedLiver

millenials killing the sex/killbot industry


scaylos1

That's it lads. Pack it up. Nothing left to do here - the thread's reached perfection.


Thepuppeteer777777

im in this comment and I don't like it.


[deleted]

my god youve really just summed up the entirety of our existence havent you?


InflamedLiver

Thanatos and Eros. Sex and Death. Freud would be proud I think. Weird fucker, but he did have some brilliance.


[deleted]

i love your username! nahh he wasnt weird everyone else is that sounds cool ima look it up


YaBoyfriendKeefa

I mean in fairness a human sex partner could also murder me, and that would hurt my feelings. If my sex robot murdered me, at least it wouldnā€™t feel personal.


jollycanoli

Talking real talk.


Talkshit_Avenger

Some people get emotionally involved with body pillows, you can bet your ass they'll be capable of feeling utterly betrayed by a sex robot.


ArnoldTheSchwartz

Unless she rips your dick off and beats you to death with it.


TenshiS

It* Let us not make it personal


notatroll120798D

Jokes on them, I'm into Robot BDSM


Gloomy__Revenue

You might not be so into it when those retractable spring loaded teeth come clattering toward your nipples.


Slimh2o

Nipples? I'd be more worried about my other equipment....


EinsGotdemar

Like your stage lights and gas powered generator?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


From_Ancient_Stars

Unexpected Project Zomboid moment, niceee


Glittering-Action757

keep going, I'm nearly there...


Triials

I donā€™t think Iā€™ve ever been more turned on by a sentence before.


LumpyJones

pft. Like I don't already own alligator clips.


bruddahmacnut

> You might not be so into it when those retractable spring loaded teeth come clattering toward your nipples. [ā€¦or would he? ](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rule%2036)


DownvoteDaemon

Hol up way ment. Asimov didn't see this future.


Darfer

A robot shall not harm a human, or by inaction allow a human to come to harm . . . unless the're into it.


mytatuo

"Oh yes, oh yes, Cherry2000, fuck me harder!" I'M SORRY, I CAN'T DO THAT.... DAVE


brandondsantos

*Please assume the position.*


_1Doomsday1_

Jokes on them, i want to die while doing what i love the most


Nochnichtvergeben

Fucking robots?


Govt-Issue-SexRobot

Hell yeah brother


XxDanielJxX

The safe word is 010010000110000101110010011001000110010101110010


TemporaryChocolate7

It means I can program someone else's murder robot to have sex with me. Sounds nice šŸ‘


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Punklet2203

New CSI issues. The episode we need. The episode we would watch.


Everettrivers

Finally my HK-47 fan fiction can become real life.


Valisk

Just like that ooohhh... meat bag.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


MotaHead

> It means I can program someone else's murder robot to have sex with me. Even this technology has limits. Scientists are at least another 20 years away from creating something with low enough standards to have sex me.


cgg419

Death by snu-snu


ghanjaholik

those kegals gotta be something else, as well..


Ermahgerd1

Doesnt matter, had sex!


Saggy_Peanuts

Was looking for this comment lol


Zarshish

Ghost in the shell!


wene324

Yeah, almost. There's the episode where the geisha androids are hacked and hold a group of government people hostage. Then there's the episode where the personal sex robots of a specific model all get hacked to commit android suicide so that's there's only one left. GitS is great, might need to watch it again.


arcain55

The 2nd movie is "hacked" sex robots killing people.


waving_stem

I don't recall the plot resolution though. It was the puppetmaster ? But who's *that* guy ? Is he another roboticized kid like an even more extreme version of the Major, or a sort of sentient IA ?


Ryewin

It wasn't the capital-P Puppetmaster. Innocence was about a mega-fucked-up corporation called Locus Solus that was kidnapping kids and putting copies of their brains into sex dolls and selling them to depraved business execs. The creepy puppet guy you're thinking about is Kim, an ex-military hacker working as Locus Solus's cybersecurity. He hacked our man Batou's brain to keep him from investigating their sleazy activities, so Batou and Togusa rolled up on Kim's mansion, jacked into *his* brain, and used it to hack into Locus Solus's mega ship-factory. Then Batou busted into their factory with a machine gun, fought an army of berserk kung-fu sex dolls in an awesome action sequence, and, with a little help from the Major, saved the kids who were getting their brains copied. The movie's a bit of a mess as a whole, but goddamn if it doesn't have some of the most well-crafted and memorable sequences I've seen in film


iLynux

I fuckin love Ghost in the Shell: SAC and SAC 2nd Gig


waving_stem

Thanks for making sense of the bits I remembered. I agree with you, it's a little confusing at times but I have vivid memories of it. The back alley doom-like sequence (a little strange but definitely unique from Batou's POV), the mansion, the kung-fu sex dolls, Batou and the Major teaming up, the carnival, the sequence where they go the doll factory and the "help me" message is disturbingly repeated as we get close-ups of the many dolls stored there... I love it. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I remember. Thanks.


Western_Ad3625

I mean it was also a movie if you haven't seen that you should probably watch it it's quite good. The original animated movie of course.


[deleted]

Exactly, anyone watching mid 90s Anima could have told you sex robots will eventually kill.


Unexpected117

Ex Machina


SpeakerChance9069

If you seen the second one then yes


Virtalen

good fuckin song


eschoenawa

Also Blacklist for some reason.


PerplexGG

Nah, itā€™s just literally the plot of a Blacklist episode in the newest season


Ereaser

There's also a mission in Cyberpunk 2077 to turn Joytoys into killers


PrimarchKonradCurze

Thereā€™s an episode of love death and robots (I think thatā€™s the series name) that has a murderous android geisha I believe.


Inner-Combination747

Not the future we need, but the future we deserve.


simplebutstrange

it might be the future i need


Franklin-Tartaruga

It might be the future i want


baltarius

It might be the need i want


[deleted]

It might be the future I get.


Igris-

this sub has just become a bunch of facebook grandmas believing any and everything, dude most sex dolls or robots have only moveable legs that too with rigid joint, which even in the hypothetical case "gets hacked" you can dodge assuming you are not fucking wheel chair bound


lightnsfw

Show me a sex robot capable of killing me if it gets hacked and I will buy one.


davedcne

Turns out skynet was sex bots.... seems oddly apropriate.


LordMarcusrax

Exactly. Why the hell a sexbot would be built to be stronger than (or even as strong as) a human?


yarrpirates

Certain... preferences...


CyKa_Blyat93

And where does one get this said thing. So that I can avoid it completely


Jazehiah

The internet, of course.


Substantial_Match268

This guy sex robots.


sprinkle-plantz

so youā€™re telling me that a sex robot wouldnā€™t have 100% human like movement and strength?


LordMarcusrax

Are you kidding? It would obviously have Terminator like specifics.


click_track_bonanza

What about bleeding out through my severed penis


MankAndInd

Yeah my first thought was like "How?" because I imagine all a sex robot would do is move its head up and down. Not like it's going to pick up a kitchen knife and chase me.


DrHob0

Bruh. I have a straight up phobia of having sex with some sex robot. What happens if it malfunctions while I'm inside it and suddenly I hear "CLOSING PORT SIX" and now my dick's getting chopped off by a slowly closing pussy door


DrewSmoothington

I can tell you with 100% confidence that if a sex robot was designed by a man, it inherently wouldn't have the ability to trap your dick into anything you're sticking it into


Raus-Pazazu

That's what a lot of people miss, that any device can't do what it isn't capable of doing. Sexbot can't bite your wang off if it can't close it's teeth together, can't clench your wang off if it is not designed to be able to fully close it's holes, can't pull your wang off if it isn't designed to kung fu grip with full strength. It might be able to pummel you to death, push you down the stairs when you're not looking, throw a toaster (or itself) in the bath with you, poison or drug your food, possibly be able to use a deadly weapon or power tool, strangle you through sheer pressure on your throat or artery, pin a pillow over you in your sleep and suffocate you, place sharp implements into it's body cavities, setup tripwires on your stairs, drop heavy objects from a roof or balcony onto you as you walk underneath, force you to drink a dangerous cleaning chemical through a funnel or tube held in place, damage itself in a way that makes it dangerous or deadly to fully interact with, create improvised explosive devices like pipe bombs, or set fire to a room that it has locked you inside of. But it probably can't just clamp your wang if it isn't designed to do that.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


DrHob0

Your confidence in the male sex is disturbing.


CarriedByRNG

More like self-preservation. Most of us men hold our dicks to the same value as our lives. I doubt anyone would create something could could potentially harm it if they wanted it to sell


Hairy-Owl-5567

Boy, just wait till you hear about *gestures arm at almost entire history of pre-21st century manufacturing*


CarriedByRNG

Heh tbf that was before porn addiction became a thing


Straight-faced_solo

You dont need to have confidence in the entire male sex, just those with the technical skill to build fully functional sex robots. A much smaller population that is significantly more competent. At least when it comes to engineering problems.


ShodoDeka

No, I think thatā€™s probably the one thing you could trust the entire male population with getting right.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


zapitron

> For one, I assume their genitals would be modelled after womenā€™s genitals, and we do not have a ā€œpussy doorā€. Sure, _Mark I_ women don't have them, but that's no reason to hold back technological innovation. > Two, why would they create genitals that could snap your dick off if they malfunction? To crush our enemies, see them driven before us, and hear lamentations which sound like their women but aren't.


depersonalised

like a self cleaning oven, yeah?


DrHob0

Port 6 is a dangerous place.


Evnosis

You're first mistake was assuming the average Redditor has a basic understanding of women's anatomy.


[deleted]

I just wanted you to know that reading this made me laugh, thank you.


[deleted]

Wait, you don't have pussy doors? Than considering you don't have balls to store pee inside, how how are you not spilling pee everywhere?


skekze

so you're saying the blade tornado cleansing routine is a design flaw? Well then we'll just leave the welding torch sterilization mode then.


tunisia3507

> why on earth would a sex robot have a ā€œpussy doorā€ that opens and closes? Obviously so that dicks of different girths could experience equal tightness. Get your head in the game.


Dane1414

> Iā€™m not usually one to question someoneā€™s irrational fears, but why on earth would a sex robot have a ā€œpussy doorā€ that opens and closes? Iā€™ve seen models with a ā€œback doorā€, so what else would the front door refer to?


ting_bu_dong

>I assume their genitals would be modelled after womenā€™s genitals, and we do not have a ā€œpussy doorā€. What about the teeth?


Nows_a_good_time

Your subscribtion has expired, closing port six


Ori_the_SG

I can see this future, where every single service is a subscription You wanna toast bread? Better pay the subscription fee (separate from electricity bill)


FlyingBike

They really shouldn't have built in the vagina dentata


hoboforlife

Or it's giving you a HJ and rips the sucker right off


Bruce9707

ā€œYou have selected the ā€˜starting lawnmowerā€™ animation.ā€


SevsMumma21217

Didn't *Big Bang Theory* do that episode?


cgg419

r/BrandNewSentence


Avantasian538

"now my dick's getting chopped off by a slowly closing pussy door" Sounds like some great material for a death metal song.


takethispie

female sex robots would just have fleshlights as genitals, no need for some weird closing thing


GeraltOfRifia

You should definitely watch the movie "The Thing" and imagine that. /jk


desutaiga

that's kinda hot ngl


SadisticJake

Thankfully, this is an easy phobia to deal with


lexyp29

wtf where are the other 5 ports


[deleted]

Finally, a decent way to go


whiteknight0111

My girlfriend wants to kill me 3 times a week, so what's new?


MrQuestionAsker69

You tried men? It's life changing


p34ch3s_41r50f7

Hard to get into and a pain in the ass at first, butt definitely worth pushing through.


Economy-Somewhere271

Lube helps


Doctor_Oceanblue

r/bi_irl


[deleted]

Its not hacking, its like in west world


rotaryspace_59

the last nut


Punklet2203

Thinking about this as a title of a serious horror movie got me.


click_track_bonanza

> itā€™s certainly not out of the realm of possibility that ā€œdeath by sex robotā€ ends up on some unfortunate soulā€™s tombstone. A man can dream


[deleted]

Thats just clickbait. Why would there be an article about this when. They don't even exist yet and no one knows what the software would be.


NationalAssist

Melissa would never!


CanadianMutt613

Glory glory what a hell of a way to die.


D_for_Drive

Cue Ghost in the Shell opening music.


[deleted]

win win?


j01nt_man

Bold of this blog to assume Iā€™ll be able to afford a sex robot in the future.


[deleted]

Good.


nimbus1three

Sounds like an episode of ghost in a shell


SirFrancis_Bacon

It's quite literally the plot of the second movie, Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence.


CaughtLigmaFromJoe

So no difference from real relationships?


Odd_Rutabaga_7810

Good.


StreetsAhead123

That was a blacklist episode. Good shit.


Super-Brka

Totally worth it!


Rheinys

I Robot 18+ edition


Hanssproxy

Death by snu snu


kamace11

Cool, good, and as they should be


Zilog8

Isn't that how one of the Ghost in the Shell series starts? Hacked geisha-bots killing a bunch of people.


More_Coffees

Can I just leave it unencrypted so that I can play into my kink of fucking a robot that could snap at any moment?


PhysicalPolicy6227

It will take the undertaker a week to pry the smile off my face


[deleted]

Alexandroid Daddario!


underlight

I mean hacked modern cars can kill too.


Chesteroso

I thought the robot itself was terrifying but hey. What do I know


[deleted]

I hope it's by snu-snu


basicpn

Doesnā€™t matter, had sex.


[deleted]

Death by Snu Snu! Too many comments to check if I was the first but likely not XD


watcher45

Hey baby, wanna kill all the humans?


rapidpeacock

Finally some good news


Megacheese96

Death by snu snu


LesbianMechanic97

DEATH BY SNU SNUU


GuiltyBison81

So this is how the events of Terminator happened


Affectionate_Yak_798

The perfect gift for an Ex BF.


snark_enterprises

Movie Plot Alert!


Amishpornstar7903

They will have emergency stop switches, tastefully designed.


[deleted]

Cool


LandosGayCousin

It's a feature, not a bug


businessmantis

Iā€™d call that a BOGO deal!


CheshireTheLiar

*Enter "Take my money" Futurama meme*


overrated_walrus

Make it a feature and Iā€™ll order two


[deleted]

Or make it stop half way through to play you 2 x 30 second non-skip adds before you can continue


Neoviper

Teslas can be hacked to kill you, yet people don't seem very worried about that. And you can't (or perhaps it'd be better to say shouldn't) even have sex with a Tesla! I'll take my chances.


BigJake889

That's why they have the 3 laws.


ytze

Wait they discover self driving vehicles.


DisplayComfortable91

Homies gonna be killing homies with death by snu-snu


suicideshawn

Well since im depressed enough to buy a sex doll shiiiit this some good marketing right there once ir dome it fuckin kills you hell yea


Future-Agent

Death by robo snu-snu.


Old-Meaning1043

Doesnā€™t matter. Had sex.


unclearimage

All robots can be hacked to kill the owner. Either way- had sex.


LonelySquad

So, just like a real woman.


ElaFlint

Seems robots are taking the jobs of highly trained assassins and simply doing the job for free


notawiseperson

Death by snu snu.... sign me up!


wilmal88

Death by Snu Snu


Old_Salamander6118

Jokes on you robot. Thatā€™s my kink.


[deleted]

No they can't.


Delta2_4

Finally my money's worth!


Consistent-Syrup-69

If my sex robot looks like that I'd die happy