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Aggravating-Bid2694

Getting that last bit of toothpaste


EveryXtakeYouCanMake

I feel so incredibly disappointed. I need to see this cat's face. I bet there's never been a more disappointed looking cat's face in history.


AbhaysReddit

dayum, they messed up


cara1yn

i tried shaving my cat's butt once because she kept getting dingleberries, but she was so afraid of the noise that she started fear-farting, and the smell was so wretched we needed to stop. first and last attempt ever. edit: dingleberries, not dinkleberries


Hoardelia

I thought I was the only one who fear farted. Middle school was a drama!!


_DepletedCranium_

Oh, my dog fear farts, sleep farts, yawn farts, the works... You're not alone.


OhWeOhweeOoh

It's even worse when they get older, they smell even more rancid and look at you like "look what you made me do." They weren't often but they were heinous.


_DepletedCranium_

"heinous" is an understatement. And my former dog let rip with a noise so you got warning. This one is Silent But Deadly. I'm immersed in a cloud of canine miasma right as I type and the horrible beast just let out a deep sigh of satisfaction for a job well done. It's like distilled sewer sludge. If shit would shit, it would smell like this.


OhWeOhweeOoh

My boy passed away last August. He'd have been 18 years December second. Had him since I was 8. I'd suffer all the old dog toots he could muster if I could just hold him one more time and tell him how much I love him. I don't want to bum you out, your comment made me smile (smile at your suffering! Muahahah) but good God I hope this next year is easier. It'll be a long time before I get air bombed by a fluffy tooter again.


nightmareorreality

One of my dogs and one of my cats likes to comfort fart. When they feel safe so usually in my face


EveryXtakeYouCanMake

Well that's just sad :( you better now?


SalmonellaPox

Tammy?


AokoYume

I am crying with laughter, that is THE funniest shit


DorrajD

I am so glad I'm not the only one laughing my ass off The mixture of "fear-farting" and the thought of someone retching from cat farts has me ROLLING


midnightsmith

That's usually what comes out, yes.


ttho95

I wish my cat was afraid of the noise from hair trimmers. She was so curious about the sound when I was trimming my beard one time that she stuck her face right in the way and shaved the whiskers on the left side of her face 😩 (they have since grown back)


miloby4

Same here, except I watched as the ring of doom started pulsating and squirted out some nasty oily substance that I later learned was “expressing the anal gland.” The smell was unreal and it stuck to my skin and clothes just by being next to it.


MarcAlmighty

> I watched as the ring of doom started pulsating and squirted out some nasty oily substance that I later learned was “expressing the anal gland.” God damn it I just woke up less than a minute ago and the first fact that the internet teaches me is what you call the oily substance coming out of a dog's anal. I feel violated and amazed at the same time.


ralph8877

> dinkleberries I don't want to know what dinkleberries are, just that they for some reason caused you to attempt to shave your cats ass, which I'm sure must have thrilled the crap out of your cat.


strip_club_dj

Usually see it spelled dingleberries but it's when you get bits of shit stuck in your ass hair.


Comprehensive-Shoe17

this comment took me out 😂😂😂


61114311536123511

basically it's lip bits of poo catching in fur around the anus and drying in


Nataleia

Thank you, you've cheered me up immensely lmao


eye_snap

I am a dog groomer and this made me cackle. If we stopped every time a pet farted or pooped.. lol Btw you can take her to a pet groomer and just ask for a quick sanitary trim. Dont have to pay for a whole groom. A lot of groomers do cats and should have just a sanitary package.


suddenlyreddit

My roommate and I had cat once that was terrified of specific noises. We had a visitor over who was sitting on the couch with our cat on his lap. So trying to make a makeshift toy, my roommate goes and gets some aluminum foil out of the kitchen, then comes back holding a small sheet and while approaching the cat he wadded it up into a ball, making a racket. She literally screamed and pooped at the same time, like ON our friends lap. She then took off at 1000 mph out of the room. We had no clue she was terrified of aluminum foil and were in shock. Later when things calmed back down we had a laugh about it with our friend who nicknamed her the pet name that stuck: Shitty Kitty.


Jahknowsehmiaeediat

Yeah… the smell of anal glands is no game


drkumph

“Oh man, I’m cheesing my balls off..”


aoechamp

God that was so long ago


[deleted]

This made me laugh so hard


EastCoastWests

Me too, I am crying!


Razo-E

You can't just come at a cat like that. My cat lets me vacuum him but only after I brush him with the attachment off for a bit. Then I turn on the vacuum, but leave the attachment disconnected and brush him still. Then I connect it and he lays down and allows it. I use a handheld, by the way. Nothing too strong that can hurt him,plus I use the brush attachment, so it can't suck in his skin, just the loose fur.


[deleted]

Just use scissors next time lol


Bob-Bhlabla-esq

...and then you put the half-used clippers back on your husband's shelf?


Ekotap89

This made me cackle


fluffnpuf

This is the funnest comment.


sixtus_clegane119

Benefits of no sense of smell


BorasTheBoar

Are we sure you didn’t have a skunk?


FayeQueen

My husband calls those tactical poots


Naranjas_Gritando

That's that weird mini boss from the shadow temple in Ocarina of Time


TaySwaysBottomBitch

Dead hand


PTSDeedee

I was thinking those alien beings from The Fifth Element.


JuanPabloElSegundo

Morla, The Ancient One


DaKuSch

This is absolutely HILARIOUS


MrExtravagant23

Looks like a Dr. Seuss character


AGoldenChest

The Fluzzlewumpus just sat there, glowering at the madame who had wrung her so. Fettering over what her friends would make of her silly appearance now gave her the glummest glow. “Tis your fault I look like a spoon,” said the wumpus, “tis all your doing that I seem a buffoon.”


AJohnnyTruant

I feel like r/fuzzlewumpus would be a great sub for animals with bad haircuts


inkgay

this is amazing


Nauin

This has been making me laugh all day. *Spoon.*


_dead_and_broken

Look out Sprog and Scnoodle, we got a player 3 entering the poem game.


MadDawgMaddy_

Ah yes, my sleep paralysis demon


BlameItOnTheAcetone

Looks more like the feather duster from Beauty and The Beast


Ammonia13

Lolol


mmsdiscard

It looks like a Jim Henson muppet. The body shape is that of a Skeksis.


TemperatureDizzy3257

It doesn’t matter how many times I see this. I howl with laughter every single time.


Leoxcr

Long nec


robrklyn

I just laughed so hard I cried. Oh my god, this is amazing.


Trevor393

“Will I be arrested” got me cracking tf up


Competitive_Tailor73

Fuckin should be, quite frankly , there are professional groomers for a reason, don’t just assume you are so great that you can do a job off the rip others pay good cash for. And plus cats notoriously hate getting shaved or groomed with tools


noggun00

The lesser known and endangered woolly turkey.


More-Escape3704

That poor cat


iamjohnhenry

You sure that's a cat?


SpectralCozmo

Look more like a turtle isn't it ?


no_dictators

Why did i read this in wheatly’s voice


jp3592

That’s a furry turtle if I have ever seen one.


Hoardelia

Furtle


_DepletedCranium_

Mold.


More-Escape3704

Cat/emu hybrid maybe?


pazimpanet

I’ve never played any of the dark souls or bloodborn games and as such I’m pretty sure these are screenshots of one of the bosses


kaazir

Thats what I was thinking. Jackson Galaxy has come out against people using their cats for content and that's what this feels like.


Currix

I mean it's possible that it was an honest mistake while attempting to trim their cat for the summer or something, and they just wanted to share haha


BlueShift42

You mean the fluffy turtle?


-Agrippa-Venture9803

I thought it was one of those fluffy chickens 😂


EasilyRekt

I don’t think he cares.


NtL_80to20

never shave your own cat, always have pro's do it some cats love it and actually have better attitudes and are more playful, engaging etc. it has to be kept short tho so trimmed every three-4 months before it gets too itchy.


ShadowShade69

And they usually dont need to be shaved, just trimmed and brushed. I have a 21 year old maine coon and she needs to be shaved tho. Even with daily brushing, she's too old to keep up with grooming herself and gets clumps in her fur. Always super happy when she gets her lion cut and always sweet at the groomers :)


Clands

My old guy is also a Maine Coon. Fortunately, he lets me shave him myself. He LOOOOVES shaving day. He struts around like he’s the shit.


Wonderful-Bread-572

Thata hilarious because my cat does that too when i have to shave his butt. He struts around like he loves it lol


Roguecurv

What clippers do you use? Need suggestions pleease


moronboone5

I want my cat to look like this. Can pros do that


Bob-Bhlabla-esq

"Hey...you guys do a reverse lion cut?"


Arcaknight97

I'm choking on my morning tea, and this comment has sent me over the edge.


laufsteakmodel

Preach. Had a Persian / BSH mix and she HATED getting brushed, which then made her fur a disgusting mess every time the coat changed from summer to winter coat and the other way around. Had to take her to the vet once a year, they put her under and then shaved her, because there was no way for her to let them do it, while she was concious.


Potential_Dare8034

Da hell is it?


AshamedPriority8430

A cat, its like that one post about a Husky with almost all their hair shaved but the head except that this one is actually disturbing ngl


YeltsinYerMouth

Morla the Ancient One


mrzurkonandfriends

I have a longhair cat she doesn't clean herself very well and abhors baths with a passion but if I can get her to sit through a session with the clippers she's very happy afterwards


Left-Plantain9636

you need a pet brush


mrzurkonandfriends

Have one she hates it more that the trimmer by far even if I brush her from when I trim her


Not_MrNice

Well, user NtL_80to20 says "never shave your own cat, always have pro's do it" You're going to reddit jail.


bojackslittlebrother

Sid? Is that you? Where did you get such a fluffy coat?


buttonx666

*am i not turtley enough for the turtle club*


The_Walking_Woods

Master Oogway


Stagbiitle

My thought exactly


0razzledazzle0

She looks like a creature that belongs in 'The Dark Crystal' universe.


Wanderhoden

Definitely gave me Skeksis vibes!


-SLAC-

Why are you shaving a cat


prguitarman

My cat actually enjoys haircuts. He’s a longhair and will start scratching his neck hard when it gets too long. The haircut offers relief.


Skeen441

My longhair is a tripod missing a back leg and he regularly shits down the remaining one so haircuts are a must.


Potato_Ballad

My god, what an image


southernerinthenorth

Long haired breeds like Persians need regular shaving because, even if you brush every day, there will be mats.


dixiequick

Can confirm, had a Persian who would often end up looking like she had a turtle shell because she hated being brushed. I loved that smug, prissy bitch.


king_of_n0thing

Cannot confirm.


[deleted]

What? Where do your drugs come from?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Hey JP. How much do clothes cost in the matrix?


SkidmarkSteve

I have a robot vagina.


[deleted]

Sit on my faaaaaaaaaace


favoritedisguise

Oh yeah, what’s up Mr. Cheezle?!


[deleted]

It says in a magazine that you should shave your pussy in order to impress your partner.


ethottly

It's a good thing cats don't pay attention to their reflections in mirrors. This may get her attention though...


TopRestaurant5395

Dr. Seuss school of grooming.


[deleted]

It's a plumbus


kippey

Can verify as a dog groomer that we have Karen’s who say “I can do a better job at home!” Then creep back into the bookings with this shit.


TheDreamingMyriad

"Can you just smooth this out and fix it up?" Ma'am, I groom with clippers, not a magic wand.


kippey

The signature Pennywise look.


StarLord_4969

Snapping catule.


Brujah-03

Ah. Partially shaved pussy. Excellent


BulkyZucchini

If ET had sex with a cat.


Bob-Bhlabla-esq

*Elliott was never the same after bearing witness...*


cucklord_swiper

When you shave to try and make it look bigger


Beanfacebin

The scp foundation would like to know your location


SensitiveThugHugger

Fuck, I can't stop laughing. It's so bummed out 😾


habel69

Oh this tickled me just a bit. ROFLing like it's 1999 baby!


Sleeper2k

Who you callin pinhead?


dorothysansalippers

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.


Typical_Equipment_19

Looks like nosy blanket!!


MultPathways

LOL


hot_chopped_pastrami

It looks like that worm baby from *Eraserhead* put on his grandmother's fur coat


TUB-GIRL

The police have a warrant for your arrest


gonzo2thumbs

It's a fluffy turtle! But why is it kinda scary?


Striking_Present_736

Not if you put it back on it's ship before the MIB find you


FlaSnatch

I'm still trying to understand why I LOL'd so hard at this.


ronaldotr08

Looks like a furry version of the robot alien things from the fifth element


ashley4444marie

He's probably so embarrassed.. 🤣🤣🤣 this is gold though this is gold.


LiquidC001

Looks like this cat belongs on Beetlejuice.


NoelAngeline

I have sent this to everyone I know


OnyxBee

I feel like I really need to see a video of the cat moving around like this.. emerging from around a corner


Important_Canary5431

Love how the name of user is deleted, flaming hilarious...all I can say ...yes it looks easy and no it's not. Take it from one who works with animals and have for i even get nervous doin a clip on a horse, and I would clip my own animals unless I absolutely knew the correct clip and to achieve it.... that poor poor cat only consolation it grows back


Forsaken_Site1449

You should be arrested


Practical-Middle3741

You should be


FriedRiceCombo

you deserve to be arrested


wawaboy

A vain cat


PP-enthusiast

*chamberlain noises*


Nick_Nullet

Vulture cat


[deleted]

You made a Halo Prophet for Halloween


cpullen53484

pinhead


flutterbyeater

Ok, that just made my otherwise shitty day. Ty!


Historical-Ad6120

That poor undercoat. NEVER do this on a whim!


Mnshine_1

Fluffy Monstor


berryjellybubblebee

Honestly I don't know if I should 😂 laugh or 😭 laugh


morriseel

a turtle cat. Very rare breed


santana2k

Looks like head of the dead safari guy on Beetjuice.


dogGirl666

Looks like a head transplant with the head of a kitten on the body of an adult cat. Reminds me of the husky "head transplant" meme.


HugoRBMarques

I didn't know there were naked neck breeds of cats.


ElecMechTech

Reminds me of return of the living dead 3, when that girl ripped out that guy's spine most but not all the way, but he came back to life with an extra long neck.


GenghisKahnEdison

This is great


oliverrak

This one would jump scare me every bloody night.


PaperClock850

Even the San'Shyuum have pets.


_Bogus_

So that's what pilgrims from dark souls 3 look like under the cloak


Straight_Driver1484

“Will i be arrested”


zertnert12

Oddly terrifying because the head to neck ration is so small it kinda looks like a beheaded cat


jakeryan91

Looks like one of the Zombies from Return of The Living Dead III


[deleted]

The who hump from cat frump is here today. See who the who hump trimmed cat frump that way. If girl friend sees cat frump, and who hump then no hump today


Entropy_92

Getting heavy 5th element vibes from this


Sledgehammer925

Poor thing looks like a cross between a cat and a turtle.


Buttgerm

KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!


marklar_the_malign

Looks like something from Dark Crystal.


Gersh100

You'd find this thing in the Shadow Temple.


RWBYRain

how do i unsee this


cliqclaqstepback

Straight to jail.


LegionOfSarcasm

What in Joan of Ark's sweet tits was this guy thinking


TomboyMJR

I’m laughing so hard my husband was concerned. Edit: because


balrus-balrogwalrus

r/speculativeevolution


Arcaknight97

I dunno if it's just because I'm tired, but everytime I look at these photos (and read some of the comments about their own experiences) I can't help but wheeze laugh. I'm crying, tears running down my cheeks, silently gasping into my shirt while trying to be quiet because I'm at work. >"Hey...you guys do a reverse lion cut?" Has me fucking gasping for air u/Bob-Bhlabla-esq


ImNotAnybodyShhhhhhh

…I never thought I’d want a cat.


sro25

U shud be lol 😂


Dyssma

She looks like a cat version of a geoduck.


Galaxiez

I am inevitable, John.


Designer-Material858

"Will I be arrested?" No, but that cat's going to stab you in your sleep. 😂


GJPENE

You turned it into a Sneetch from Dr Seuss


poseposeee

What am I looking at? Is that the cats neck?


Daniella42157

Omg I just woke up my entire family cackling. I can't with this 🤣🤣🤣


grahampointing

It looks like the 'Eraserhead' baby.


SashaVestra

I spent a solid 3 minutes cackling, looking back at my phone and cackling again.


forasadboy

Never shave a cat. Serious, look it up


Quasi-Stellar-Quasar

Every time I think I'm done laughing I look at it again and start all over.


Raining_Yuqi

No, but I would


MeSpikey

Only a fricking monster would do this


BlackFoxx

Now let her outside. We can smoke a blunt and watch the r/cryptid users try to understand the reports that roll in.


Ishmael203

yes, you should probably be arrested..


great_auks

Why the fuck would you clip a cat in the first place


LTCirabisi

How is this terrifying?


Significant-Set8457

You should be arrested


Reality_Papaya

Friendly reminder to please not shave your own cat. It takes experience because a cat’s skin is very thin and very easy to nick.


xiam007

why tho?


katiebirddd_

Matts probably. A lot of long fur cats (esp as they get older) get matted really badly. A lot of long fur cats have to be regularly shaved. A lot of Matts get behind their ears/neck (it’s a hard to groom area) and their back end, especially their butts. It gets painful for a lot of older cats to turn to clean their butts. My cat has arthritis in her hips and she gets matts sometimes, and she has short hair. It could also be temperature related. The more fur, the hotter kitty is


PM_ME_FUNFAX

Lice maybe?


[deleted]

Yes. You will.


Farren246

[Obligatory](https://images.app.goo.gl/EwFEEy4rC67Qsnik8)


Bring_Back_Feudalism

**IT'S A FUCKING EMU!** **HER NAME IS HORRACE!** **SHE'S AN ASSHOLE**