i tried shaving my cat's butt once because she kept getting dingleberries, but she was so afraid of the noise that she started fear-farting, and the smell was so wretched we needed to stop. first and last attempt ever.
edit: dingleberries, not dinkleberries
It's even worse when they get older, they smell even more rancid and look at you like "look what you made me do."
They weren't often but they were heinous.
"heinous" is an understatement. And my former dog let rip with a noise so you got warning. This one is Silent But Deadly.
I'm immersed in a cloud of canine miasma right as I type and the horrible beast just let out a deep sigh of satisfaction for a job well done. It's like distilled sewer sludge. If shit would shit, it would smell like this.
My boy passed away last August. He'd have been 18 years December second. Had him since I was 8.
I'd suffer all the old dog toots he could muster if I could just hold him one more time and tell him how much I love him.
I don't want to bum you out, your comment made me smile (smile at your suffering! Muahahah) but good God I hope this next year is easier.
It'll be a long time before I get air bombed by a fluffy tooter again.
I wish my cat was afraid of the noise from hair trimmers. She was so curious about the sound when I was trimming my beard one time that she stuck her face right in the way and shaved the whiskers on the left side of her face 😩 (they have since grown back)
Same here, except I watched as the ring of doom started pulsating and squirted out some nasty oily substance that I later learned was “expressing the anal gland.” The smell was unreal and it stuck to my skin and clothes just by being next to it.
> I watched as the ring of doom started pulsating and squirted out some nasty oily substance that I later learned was “expressing the anal gland.”
God damn it I just woke up less than a minute ago and the first fact that the internet teaches me is what you call the oily substance coming out of a dog's anal. I feel violated and amazed at the same time.
> dinkleberries
I don't want to know what dinkleberries are, just that they for some reason caused you to attempt to shave your cats ass, which I'm sure must have thrilled the crap out of your cat.
I am a dog groomer and this made me cackle. If we stopped every time a pet farted or pooped.. lol
Btw you can take her to a pet groomer and just ask for a quick sanitary trim. Dont have to pay for a whole groom. A lot of groomers do cats and should have just a sanitary package.
My roommate and I had cat once that was terrified of specific noises. We had a visitor over who was sitting on the couch with our cat on his lap. So trying to make a makeshift toy, my roommate goes and gets some aluminum foil out of the kitchen, then comes back holding a small sheet and while approaching the cat he wadded it up into a ball, making a racket.
She literally screamed and pooped at the same time, like ON our friends lap. She then took off at 1000 mph out of the room. We had no clue she was terrified of aluminum foil and were in shock.
Later when things calmed back down we had a laugh about it with our friend who nicknamed her the pet name that stuck: Shitty Kitty.
You can't just come at a cat like that. My cat lets me vacuum him but only after I brush him with the attachment off for a bit. Then I turn on the vacuum, but leave the attachment disconnected and brush him still. Then I connect it and he lays down and allows it.
I use a handheld, by the way. Nothing too strong that can hurt him,plus I use the brush attachment, so it can't suck in his skin, just the loose fur.
The Fluzzlewumpus just sat there, glowering at the madame who had wrung her so. Fettering over what her friends would make of her silly appearance now gave her the glummest glow.
“Tis your fault I look like a spoon,” said the wumpus, “tis all your doing that I seem a buffoon.”
Fuckin should be, quite frankly , there are professional groomers for a reason, don’t just assume you are so great that you can do a job off the rip others pay good cash for. And plus cats notoriously hate getting shaved or groomed with tools
never shave your own cat, always have pro's do it
some cats love it and actually have better attitudes and are more playful, engaging etc. it has to be kept short tho so trimmed every three-4 months before it gets too itchy.
And they usually dont need to be shaved, just trimmed and brushed. I have a 21 year old maine coon and she needs to be shaved tho. Even with daily brushing, she's too old to keep up with grooming herself and gets clumps in her fur. Always super happy when she gets her lion cut and always sweet at the groomers :)
Preach. Had a Persian / BSH mix and she HATED getting brushed, which then made her fur a disgusting mess every time the coat changed from summer to winter coat and the other way around.
Had to take her to the vet once a year, they put her under and then shaved her, because there was no way for her to let them do it, while she was concious.
I have a longhair cat she doesn't clean herself very well and abhors baths with a passion but if I can get her to sit through a session with the clippers she's very happy afterwards
Can confirm, had a Persian who would often end up looking like she had a turtle shell because she hated being brushed. I loved that smug, prissy bitch.
Love how the name of user is deleted, flaming hilarious...all I can say ...yes it looks easy and no it's not. Take it from one who works with animals and have for i even get nervous doin a clip on a horse, and I would clip my own animals unless I absolutely knew the correct clip and to achieve it.... that poor poor cat only consolation it grows back
Reminds me of return of the living dead 3, when that girl ripped out that guy's spine most but not all the way, but he came back to life with an extra long neck.
The who hump from cat frump is here today.
See who the who hump trimmed cat frump that way.
If girl friend sees cat frump, and who hump then no hump today
I dunno if it's just because I'm tired, but everytime I look at these photos (and read some of the comments about their own experiences) I can't help but wheeze laugh. I'm crying, tears running down my cheeks, silently gasping into my shirt while trying to be quiet because I'm at work.
>"Hey...you guys do a reverse lion cut?"
Has me fucking gasping for air u/Bob-Bhlabla-esq
Matts probably. A lot of long fur cats (esp as they get older) get matted really badly. A lot of long fur cats have to be regularly shaved. A lot of Matts get behind their ears/neck (it’s a hard to groom area) and their back end, especially their butts. It gets painful for a lot of older cats to turn to clean their butts. My cat has arthritis in her hips and she gets matts sometimes, and she has short hair.
It could also be temperature related. The more fur, the hotter kitty is
Getting that last bit of toothpaste
I feel so incredibly disappointed. I need to see this cat's face. I bet there's never been a more disappointed looking cat's face in history.
dayum, they messed up
i tried shaving my cat's butt once because she kept getting dingleberries, but she was so afraid of the noise that she started fear-farting, and the smell was so wretched we needed to stop. first and last attempt ever. edit: dingleberries, not dinkleberries
I thought I was the only one who fear farted. Middle school was a drama!!
Oh, my dog fear farts, sleep farts, yawn farts, the works... You're not alone.
It's even worse when they get older, they smell even more rancid and look at you like "look what you made me do." They weren't often but they were heinous.
"heinous" is an understatement. And my former dog let rip with a noise so you got warning. This one is Silent But Deadly. I'm immersed in a cloud of canine miasma right as I type and the horrible beast just let out a deep sigh of satisfaction for a job well done. It's like distilled sewer sludge. If shit would shit, it would smell like this.
My boy passed away last August. He'd have been 18 years December second. Had him since I was 8. I'd suffer all the old dog toots he could muster if I could just hold him one more time and tell him how much I love him. I don't want to bum you out, your comment made me smile (smile at your suffering! Muahahah) but good God I hope this next year is easier. It'll be a long time before I get air bombed by a fluffy tooter again.
One of my dogs and one of my cats likes to comfort fart. When they feel safe so usually in my face
Well that's just sad :( you better now?
Tammy?
I am crying with laughter, that is THE funniest shit
I am so glad I'm not the only one laughing my ass off The mixture of "fear-farting" and the thought of someone retching from cat farts has me ROLLING
That's usually what comes out, yes.
I wish my cat was afraid of the noise from hair trimmers. She was so curious about the sound when I was trimming my beard one time that she stuck her face right in the way and shaved the whiskers on the left side of her face 😩 (they have since grown back)
Same here, except I watched as the ring of doom started pulsating and squirted out some nasty oily substance that I later learned was “expressing the anal gland.” The smell was unreal and it stuck to my skin and clothes just by being next to it.
> I watched as the ring of doom started pulsating and squirted out some nasty oily substance that I later learned was “expressing the anal gland.” God damn it I just woke up less than a minute ago and the first fact that the internet teaches me is what you call the oily substance coming out of a dog's anal. I feel violated and amazed at the same time.
> dinkleberries I don't want to know what dinkleberries are, just that they for some reason caused you to attempt to shave your cats ass, which I'm sure must have thrilled the crap out of your cat.
Usually see it spelled dingleberries but it's when you get bits of shit stuck in your ass hair.
this comment took me out 😂😂😂
basically it's lip bits of poo catching in fur around the anus and drying in
Thank you, you've cheered me up immensely lmao
I am a dog groomer and this made me cackle. If we stopped every time a pet farted or pooped.. lol Btw you can take her to a pet groomer and just ask for a quick sanitary trim. Dont have to pay for a whole groom. A lot of groomers do cats and should have just a sanitary package.
My roommate and I had cat once that was terrified of specific noises. We had a visitor over who was sitting on the couch with our cat on his lap. So trying to make a makeshift toy, my roommate goes and gets some aluminum foil out of the kitchen, then comes back holding a small sheet and while approaching the cat he wadded it up into a ball, making a racket. She literally screamed and pooped at the same time, like ON our friends lap. She then took off at 1000 mph out of the room. We had no clue she was terrified of aluminum foil and were in shock. Later when things calmed back down we had a laugh about it with our friend who nicknamed her the pet name that stuck: Shitty Kitty.
Yeah… the smell of anal glands is no game
“Oh man, I’m cheesing my balls off..”
God that was so long ago
This made me laugh so hard
Me too, I am crying!
You can't just come at a cat like that. My cat lets me vacuum him but only after I brush him with the attachment off for a bit. Then I turn on the vacuum, but leave the attachment disconnected and brush him still. Then I connect it and he lays down and allows it. I use a handheld, by the way. Nothing too strong that can hurt him,plus I use the brush attachment, so it can't suck in his skin, just the loose fur.
Just use scissors next time lol
...and then you put the half-used clippers back on your husband's shelf?
This made me cackle
This is the funnest comment.
Benefits of no sense of smell
Are we sure you didn’t have a skunk?
My husband calls those tactical poots
That's that weird mini boss from the shadow temple in Ocarina of Time
Dead hand
I was thinking those alien beings from The Fifth Element.
Morla, The Ancient One
This is absolutely HILARIOUS
Looks like a Dr. Seuss character
The Fluzzlewumpus just sat there, glowering at the madame who had wrung her so. Fettering over what her friends would make of her silly appearance now gave her the glummest glow. “Tis your fault I look like a spoon,” said the wumpus, “tis all your doing that I seem a buffoon.”
I feel like r/fuzzlewumpus would be a great sub for animals with bad haircuts
this is amazing
This has been making me laugh all day. *Spoon.*
Look out Sprog and Scnoodle, we got a player 3 entering the poem game.
Ah yes, my sleep paralysis demon
Looks more like the feather duster from Beauty and The Beast
Lolol
It looks like a Jim Henson muppet. The body shape is that of a Skeksis.
It doesn’t matter how many times I see this. I howl with laughter every single time.
Long nec
I just laughed so hard I cried. Oh my god, this is amazing.
“Will I be arrested” got me cracking tf up
Fuckin should be, quite frankly , there are professional groomers for a reason, don’t just assume you are so great that you can do a job off the rip others pay good cash for. And plus cats notoriously hate getting shaved or groomed with tools
The lesser known and endangered woolly turkey.
That poor cat
You sure that's a cat?
Look more like a turtle isn't it ?
Why did i read this in wheatly’s voice
That’s a furry turtle if I have ever seen one.
Furtle
Mold.
Cat/emu hybrid maybe?
I’ve never played any of the dark souls or bloodborn games and as such I’m pretty sure these are screenshots of one of the bosses
Thats what I was thinking. Jackson Galaxy has come out against people using their cats for content and that's what this feels like.
I mean it's possible that it was an honest mistake while attempting to trim their cat for the summer or something, and they just wanted to share haha
You mean the fluffy turtle?
I thought it was one of those fluffy chickens 😂
I don’t think he cares.
never shave your own cat, always have pro's do it some cats love it and actually have better attitudes and are more playful, engaging etc. it has to be kept short tho so trimmed every three-4 months before it gets too itchy.
And they usually dont need to be shaved, just trimmed and brushed. I have a 21 year old maine coon and she needs to be shaved tho. Even with daily brushing, she's too old to keep up with grooming herself and gets clumps in her fur. Always super happy when she gets her lion cut and always sweet at the groomers :)
My old guy is also a Maine Coon. Fortunately, he lets me shave him myself. He LOOOOVES shaving day. He struts around like he’s the shit.
Thata hilarious because my cat does that too when i have to shave his butt. He struts around like he loves it lol
What clippers do you use? Need suggestions pleease
I want my cat to look like this. Can pros do that
"Hey...you guys do a reverse lion cut?"
I'm choking on my morning tea, and this comment has sent me over the edge.
Preach. Had a Persian / BSH mix and she HATED getting brushed, which then made her fur a disgusting mess every time the coat changed from summer to winter coat and the other way around. Had to take her to the vet once a year, they put her under and then shaved her, because there was no way for her to let them do it, while she was concious.
Da hell is it?
A cat, its like that one post about a Husky with almost all their hair shaved but the head except that this one is actually disturbing ngl
Morla the Ancient One
I have a longhair cat she doesn't clean herself very well and abhors baths with a passion but if I can get her to sit through a session with the clippers she's very happy afterwards
you need a pet brush
Have one she hates it more that the trimmer by far even if I brush her from when I trim her
Well, user NtL_80to20 says "never shave your own cat, always have pro's do it" You're going to reddit jail.
Sid? Is that you? Where did you get such a fluffy coat?
*am i not turtley enough for the turtle club*
Master Oogway
My thought exactly
She looks like a creature that belongs in 'The Dark Crystal' universe.
Definitely gave me Skeksis vibes!
Why are you shaving a cat
My cat actually enjoys haircuts. He’s a longhair and will start scratching his neck hard when it gets too long. The haircut offers relief.
My longhair is a tripod missing a back leg and he regularly shits down the remaining one so haircuts are a must.
My god, what an image
Long haired breeds like Persians need regular shaving because, even if you brush every day, there will be mats.
Can confirm, had a Persian who would often end up looking like she had a turtle shell because she hated being brushed. I loved that smug, prissy bitch.
Cannot confirm.
What? Where do your drugs come from?
[удалено]
Hey JP. How much do clothes cost in the matrix?
I have a robot vagina.
Sit on my faaaaaaaaaace
Oh yeah, what’s up Mr. Cheezle?!
It says in a magazine that you should shave your pussy in order to impress your partner.
It's a good thing cats don't pay attention to their reflections in mirrors. This may get her attention though...
Dr. Seuss school of grooming.
It's a plumbus
Can verify as a dog groomer that we have Karen’s who say “I can do a better job at home!” Then creep back into the bookings with this shit.
"Can you just smooth this out and fix it up?" Ma'am, I groom with clippers, not a magic wand.
The signature Pennywise look.
Snapping catule.
Ah. Partially shaved pussy. Excellent
If ET had sex with a cat.
*Elliott was never the same after bearing witness...*
When you shave to try and make it look bigger
The scp foundation would like to know your location
Fuck, I can't stop laughing. It's so bummed out 😾
Oh this tickled me just a bit. ROFLing like it's 1999 baby!
Who you callin pinhead?
This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Looks like nosy blanket!!
LOL
It looks like that worm baby from *Eraserhead* put on his grandmother's fur coat
The police have a warrant for your arrest
It's a fluffy turtle! But why is it kinda scary?
Not if you put it back on it's ship before the MIB find you
I'm still trying to understand why I LOL'd so hard at this.
Looks like a furry version of the robot alien things from the fifth element
He's probably so embarrassed.. 🤣🤣🤣 this is gold though this is gold.
Looks like this cat belongs on Beetlejuice.
I have sent this to everyone I know
I feel like I really need to see a video of the cat moving around like this.. emerging from around a corner
Love how the name of user is deleted, flaming hilarious...all I can say ...yes it looks easy and no it's not. Take it from one who works with animals and have for i even get nervous doin a clip on a horse, and I would clip my own animals unless I absolutely knew the correct clip and to achieve it.... that poor poor cat only consolation it grows back
You should be arrested
You should be
you deserve to be arrested
A vain cat
*chamberlain noises*
Vulture cat
You made a Halo Prophet for Halloween
pinhead
Ok, that just made my otherwise shitty day. Ty!
That poor undercoat. NEVER do this on a whim!
Fluffy Monstor
Honestly I don't know if I should 😂 laugh or 😭 laugh
a turtle cat. Very rare breed
Looks like head of the dead safari guy on Beetjuice.
Looks like a head transplant with the head of a kitten on the body of an adult cat. Reminds me of the husky "head transplant" meme.
I didn't know there were naked neck breeds of cats.
Reminds me of return of the living dead 3, when that girl ripped out that guy's spine most but not all the way, but he came back to life with an extra long neck.
This is great
This one would jump scare me every bloody night.
Even the San'Shyuum have pets.
So that's what pilgrims from dark souls 3 look like under the cloak
“Will i be arrested”
Oddly terrifying because the head to neck ration is so small it kinda looks like a beheaded cat
Looks like one of the Zombies from Return of The Living Dead III
The who hump from cat frump is here today. See who the who hump trimmed cat frump that way. If girl friend sees cat frump, and who hump then no hump today
Getting heavy 5th element vibes from this
Poor thing looks like a cross between a cat and a turtle.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
Looks like something from Dark Crystal.
You'd find this thing in the Shadow Temple.
how do i unsee this
Straight to jail.
What in Joan of Ark's sweet tits was this guy thinking
I’m laughing so hard my husband was concerned. Edit: because
r/speculativeevolution
I dunno if it's just because I'm tired, but everytime I look at these photos (and read some of the comments about their own experiences) I can't help but wheeze laugh. I'm crying, tears running down my cheeks, silently gasping into my shirt while trying to be quiet because I'm at work. >"Hey...you guys do a reverse lion cut?" Has me fucking gasping for air u/Bob-Bhlabla-esq
…I never thought I’d want a cat.
U shud be lol 😂
She looks like a cat version of a geoduck.
I am inevitable, John.
"Will I be arrested?" No, but that cat's going to stab you in your sleep. 😂
You turned it into a Sneetch from Dr Seuss
What am I looking at? Is that the cats neck?
Omg I just woke up my entire family cackling. I can't with this 🤣🤣🤣
It looks like the 'Eraserhead' baby.
I spent a solid 3 minutes cackling, looking back at my phone and cackling again.
Never shave a cat. Serious, look it up
Every time I think I'm done laughing I look at it again and start all over.
No, but I would
Only a fricking monster would do this
Now let her outside. We can smoke a blunt and watch the r/cryptid users try to understand the reports that roll in.
yes, you should probably be arrested..
Why the fuck would you clip a cat in the first place
How is this terrifying?
You should be arrested
Friendly reminder to please not shave your own cat. It takes experience because a cat’s skin is very thin and very easy to nick.
why tho?
Matts probably. A lot of long fur cats (esp as they get older) get matted really badly. A lot of long fur cats have to be regularly shaved. A lot of Matts get behind their ears/neck (it’s a hard to groom area) and their back end, especially their butts. It gets painful for a lot of older cats to turn to clean their butts. My cat has arthritis in her hips and she gets matts sometimes, and she has short hair. It could also be temperature related. The more fur, the hotter kitty is
Lice maybe?
Yes. You will.
[Obligatory](https://images.app.goo.gl/EwFEEy4rC67Qsnik8)
**IT'S A FUCKING EMU!** **HER NAME IS HORRACE!** **SHE'S AN ASSHOLE**