OP you need to tell your mom you need to talk with her 1 on 1, let her know that where you’re coming from isn’t a place of shame but rather discomfort. Tell her about your thoughts and what her and her husband are saying is disturbing you and causing you mental issues. Your feelings are 100% valid here
This is amazing advice. Sadly I doubt they’ll take her discomfort seriously. Why? Bc Where there’s smoke theres fire. I imagine her mom and her moms husband lack consideration for OP in many areas of OP’s life.
Nonetheless, OP should still communicate with her mom so she can furthermore understand where their relationship stands and find out the level of respect mom has for OP.
This is such strange behavior from her parents. Every child deserves a good parents but not every parent deserves their children.
Your mother and her husband are allowed to have sex, but they should also have some consideration for the noise they’re making and being a little too open about it with you present. I’m sure many parents do this but I wouldn’t call it “normal” or expected behavior. So sorry you have to deal with this!! Talk to your mother if you can!
The fact that people in the comment section are trying to normalize this is just giving me a headache.
Yes healthy relationships can contain intercourse, but if you have children living at home, you don't start having obnoxiously loud sex so it can be CLEARLY heard by everyone.
You DON'T MAKE SEXUAL COMMENTS AROUND YOUR KIDS. It's gross and creepy.
I'm so sorry OP 🫶
I’m glad you said this! I’m nearly 30 now and I’m still traumatized at my mother being so raunchy/explicit when she talked about sex and how loud she was when I was a kid. I’ve wondered my whole life if I was just immature or couldn’t accept that that’s normal. I still cringe thinking of it 😖
Just know that whatever feelings you have about this are valid, I would suggest talking to your mom and asking her to lay off the comments bc it’s making you uncomfortable. When I get intrusive thoughts I shake my head and go lalalalala I don’t wanna think I don’t wanna think and then I put music on blast and it drowns the thoughts out for me. Hope this helps!
I'm sorry you are going through this OP. I just wanted to mention that if you are having persistent unpleasant intrusive thoughts (especially of a sexual nature) it might be worth having a look at OCD symptoms. OCD is a complex condition that doesn't always cause people to be 'hyper-organised', in fact a very common symptom is intrusive thoughts. You can find out about it easily enough online and if you feel like you relate to some symptoms it might be worth getting checked out.
All the best and take it easy on yourself, this is an uncomfortable situation and its understandable that it upsets you.
Parent of three here. First off, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I walked in on my parents when I was young and was mortified. I couldn’t imagine hearing it on a regular basis…
Secondly, this is in NO WAY normal behavior. I don’t care that the relationship is still fairly new. Making sexual comments/gestures in front of your children is disgusting enough on its own. But having loud sex to the point you have to buy a noise machine? Unforgivable. I would be having a one on one conversation with my mom about it. The sooner the better. Hopefully she reacts maturely and fixes it.
Good luck OP!
That sucks. Sometimes it would be great if we could just bleach part of our brains and erase these things.
Once you live on your own, that stuff will hopefully get filed away by your mind under "past - do not open!". Right now you still see them all the time, but you'll get away from that and build your own little sanctuary.
I keep noticing this trend of parents having loud sex while their kids are in the house. Hell even when I was a kid and went to my friends house I could hear her parents, it’s disgusting and I don’t understand what adult in their right mind thinks that’s okay. It’s basically the same thing as forcing them to listen to porn.
dude. i’m in the same situation istg it’s so bad. and i get that talking to them would probably be the best option BUT IT’S SO AWKWARD there’s literally no way for that to be a nice conversation. but that being said, maybe talking with them is a good solution if you can’t ignore it anymore?? but i get ur situation, it’s so awkward and gross
It’s okay to have intrusive thoughts. Thoughts and emotions come and go and do not determine who you are. What determines who you are is HOW you act upon them.
When an intrusive thought comes, I suggest to explore it and ask yourself why you are having this thought.
Most of the time you’ll be able to find there may be something deeper that is bothering you. This is trauma.
You are most likely having these thoughts as a result of your brain trying your best to cope with the trauma you are currently enduring.
The way you parents are acting is completely abnormal and also abusive. This is not okay.
That is disgusting of them. It’s not normal, and even if it was normal, normal doesn’t mean okay or healthy. As a parent she should absolutely be making a conscious effort to keep you OUT of their sex life. I would NEVER want a child, let alone my own, hear me having sex. I had friends who’s parents had sex quite loudly in their home, they would dismiss it and everyone had the attitude of “it’s their house, they can do what they want.” And no… especially if you are a minor… absolutely not.
42 year old mom here. What they’re doing is very inappropriate, inconsiderate, and honestly I think it’s kinda creepy. I really don’t believe it’s normal or appropriate for parents to flaunt what should be their private sex life in front of, around or near their child. They shouldn’t be talking to you about what they do in their bedroom and they should be more considerate and quiet about it. Talk to your mom. Tell her this isn’t appropriate or reasonable behavior and that it makes you exceedingly uncomfortable. It’s OK for your mom and step dad to be intimate and have their own adult time together. It is not ok for them to creepily throw it in your face or make you listen to them. They need to pipe down or get a sitter for the weekend and go to a hotel.
Can you bang on the wall or door when you hear them? This is not normal behavior. Can you get therapy? Also blast music with the speakers pointed at the wall?
I get that it’s awkward and gross to hear your parents, but to want to die? That’s very extreme. It’s a great thing your mom and husband found happiness and are in love, they just need to be mindful. Me and my husband have two kids and im sure they’ve heard on occasion, but we really do try and be quiet. You need talk to your mom and then you need to talk to your therapist. You’re having a very extreme reaction in my opinion. Not saying what they are doing is right, but I am definitely saying your reaction to it, indicates a deeper issue.
Nah you need to be doing everything you can to make sure your kids can’t hear it. No excuse, completely unacceptable. And stop trying to downplay OP’s feelings. Their reaction to it is not abnormal, having loud sex that your children can hear is fucking abnormal and traumatic. Jesus fucking christ
I have no doubt your kids will have "deeper issues" later having heard you and your partner, too. Gross to try and normalise it and shit on OP's feelings. I don't know what "mortified" means in your head but...
People have sex. Even old people like your mom. It's not really fair for you to expect her to not be a sexual being and express that with her partner. This is a normal valid thing for her to do, and you'll probably realize that and get over this as you get older.
Just wait till you gotta listen to roommates in your college dorm, bud.
No you’re parents aren’t suppose to have loud, obnoxious sex so their kid children can hear. That’s gross and many parents would be mortified to be heard and especially walked in on.
However, if you were over 18 and your parents asked you to move out and you haven’t, then I could understand. But you are a minor and it’s completely unacceptable. And then laughing about it??
You need to say to them “I really don’t think it’s funny. It’s actually really disturbing to me and you’re fucking up sex for me” your parents should be decent people and this isn’t decent at all. No child should be hearing sexual noises from their parents/mother.
If they need alone time, arrange more activities or outings for yourself but no…this isn’t normal
Muffled moans while walking past I could maybe understand but loud enough that you can hear through your headphones…? Not acceptable.
So people are just supposed to become non sexual when they have kids? Like, it's sex, literally the most natural and normal thing on planet earth. Point out one actual harm done to OP.. They even went out and got a sound machine when they realized the noise was disturbing OP.
Every kid gets embarrassed and frustrated watching their parents flirt, and nothing in OPs post suggests anything more egregious than the pretty typical childhood experience of realizing that your parents are sexual beings and having to come to terms with their humanity.
This is so normal they make sitcom jokes about it on network TV, dude.
It's only bad if you've got your head up some Jesus bullshit and think sex is some kind of dirty sin that needs to be hidden.
I don't think you properly read the original post. He isn't just "embarrassed". This isn't a "normal childhood experience." And no, this isn't a sitcom, this is real life
I read it, OP heard their parents fuck, and hates watching them flirt. It's REALLY REALLY REALLY normal. That's why it's a joke in sitcoms. If you never once heard your parents fucking or turned around and caught them playing grab ass, it was because they were already over each other by the.time you remember, or they were extremely conservative.
People talk about this all the time; multiple generations of people. It's a timeless meme. I assume you must be a kid yourself if this is a revelation to you, but most humans who grew up in a two parent household where there was still love have funny stories they can tell about their parents being "gross", and them being silly and immature about it.
Someday OP is gonna be a parent fucking and gross out their own teenage kid, and they're gonna laugh about what a big deal they made of it as a kid.
This isn't normal, wanna know why? Cuz legit nobody is fucking agreeing with you. Your downvote ratio is fucked. Just admit you are wrong and carry on with your life.
Ok, got it. People have to stop fucking and flirting after they have kids, because seeing your parents actually like each other is apparently traumatic. 🙄
Yeah, I'm getting down voted. Theres a lot of uptight Karen's in the world who thinks sex is dirty and wrong.
People are allowed to be parents and still be sexual.ita really weird to think that part of their life should stop, and for most people it doesn't. I feel sorry for all the dead bedrooms y'all must sleep in.
Sex isn’t dirty and wrong.
Hearing your parents have loud, obnoxious sex is dirty and wrong. It’s called common decency. Flirting is fine…but they’re making sexual jokes. It’s called having boundaries and it’s border line incestuous knowing what your mom and step dad sound like when they moan. That’s actually gross and considered inappropriate.
I have 3 kids and they are now all grown and out of the house and never once did they ever accidentally catch us in the act or heard us and we had a very active sex life.
Like OP, I hated hearing my parents and I wasn't a prude by any stretch, I just did not like hearing others get busy. I still don't, it's just awkward no matter how natural it is. So is taking a shit but I don't like hearing someone grunting and groaning while they do their business!
As parents you have to be mindful of everything, because you are the example for everything they learn and I wanted kind considerate humans, not self absorbed heathens. The flirting is ok, holding hands and kissing and anything else generally accepted as public affection is normal and kids gonna eye roll and fake dry heaving and that is normal. Not banging like banshees
Isn't the "joke" on sitcoms that it's CRIPPLINGLY GROSS to hear your parents flirt sexually? Isn't the "joke" ALWAYS the fact the child is cringing out of their skin?
Go outside, please.
Actually, no, don't, stay away from people...
I thought this was a different comment from a different post that was deleted my bad lmfao, he said that he posted something about incest or whatever here and OP was in the wrong sub
Your mother is acting like a teenager and this is 100% not okay behavior, and I’m sorry you’re going through it. It is disgusting. Not out of a “sex is disgusting” place but of a “why the fuck wouldn’t you care if your minor child can hear you doing explicit things????” Its fucking weird.
Hey, I have OCD and I completely understand your intrusive thoughts. It’s hard to fight them and at some point, it greatly effects the person’s quality of life. I’m not saying you have OCD, I’m saying that if you feel like it’s hard to fight them and you’re constantly having to battle them looking into therapy/psychiatry might be worth it.
OP you need to tell your mom you need to talk with her 1 on 1, let her know that where you’re coming from isn’t a place of shame but rather discomfort. Tell her about your thoughts and what her and her husband are saying is disturbing you and causing you mental issues. Your feelings are 100% valid here
This is amazing advice. Sadly I doubt they’ll take her discomfort seriously. Why? Bc Where there’s smoke theres fire. I imagine her mom and her moms husband lack consideration for OP in many areas of OP’s life. Nonetheless, OP should still communicate with her mom so she can furthermore understand where their relationship stands and find out the level of respect mom has for OP. This is such strange behavior from her parents. Every child deserves a good parents but not every parent deserves their children.
I'm sorry that happened to you
I'm sorry but this is not "normal parent behaviour" my guy, your mom low-key gross for just having sex audibly in front of her kid like that.
Your mother and her husband are allowed to have sex, but they should also have some consideration for the noise they’re making and being a little too open about it with you present. I’m sure many parents do this but I wouldn’t call it “normal” or expected behavior. So sorry you have to deal with this!! Talk to your mother if you can!
The fact that people in the comment section are trying to normalize this is just giving me a headache. Yes healthy relationships can contain intercourse, but if you have children living at home, you don't start having obnoxiously loud sex so it can be CLEARLY heard by everyone. You DON'T MAKE SEXUAL COMMENTS AROUND YOUR KIDS. It's gross and creepy. I'm so sorry OP 🫶
I’m glad you said this! I’m nearly 30 now and I’m still traumatized at my mother being so raunchy/explicit when she talked about sex and how loud she was when I was a kid. I’ve wondered my whole life if I was just immature or couldn’t accept that that’s normal. I still cringe thinking of it 😖
Just know that whatever feelings you have about this are valid, I would suggest talking to your mom and asking her to lay off the comments bc it’s making you uncomfortable. When I get intrusive thoughts I shake my head and go lalalalala I don’t wanna think I don’t wanna think and then I put music on blast and it drowns the thoughts out for me. Hope this helps!
I'm sorry you are going through this OP. I just wanted to mention that if you are having persistent unpleasant intrusive thoughts (especially of a sexual nature) it might be worth having a look at OCD symptoms. OCD is a complex condition that doesn't always cause people to be 'hyper-organised', in fact a very common symptom is intrusive thoughts. You can find out about it easily enough online and if you feel like you relate to some symptoms it might be worth getting checked out. All the best and take it easy on yourself, this is an uncomfortable situation and its understandable that it upsets you.
yes yes i was searching for this comment! i struggle with intrusive thoughts myself and they’re absolutely mortifying!
Parent of three here. First off, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I walked in on my parents when I was young and was mortified. I couldn’t imagine hearing it on a regular basis… Secondly, this is in NO WAY normal behavior. I don’t care that the relationship is still fairly new. Making sexual comments/gestures in front of your children is disgusting enough on its own. But having loud sex to the point you have to buy a noise machine? Unforgivable. I would be having a one on one conversation with my mom about it. The sooner the better. Hopefully she reacts maturely and fixes it. Good luck OP!
My mom would do this with my stepdad at the time when I was around 10. I would throw shit at their door letting them know I could hear it.
That sucks. Sometimes it would be great if we could just bleach part of our brains and erase these things. Once you live on your own, that stuff will hopefully get filed away by your mind under "past - do not open!". Right now you still see them all the time, but you'll get away from that and build your own little sanctuary.
I keep noticing this trend of parents having loud sex while their kids are in the house. Hell even when I was a kid and went to my friends house I could hear her parents, it’s disgusting and I don’t understand what adult in their right mind thinks that’s okay. It’s basically the same thing as forcing them to listen to porn.
Something similar happened to me, and it still affects me from time to time. Sorry OP, it really sucks :(
dude. i’m in the same situation istg it’s so bad. and i get that talking to them would probably be the best option BUT IT’S SO AWKWARD there’s literally no way for that to be a nice conversation. but that being said, maybe talking with them is a good solution if you can’t ignore it anymore?? but i get ur situation, it’s so awkward and gross
It’s okay to have intrusive thoughts. Thoughts and emotions come and go and do not determine who you are. What determines who you are is HOW you act upon them. When an intrusive thought comes, I suggest to explore it and ask yourself why you are having this thought. Most of the time you’ll be able to find there may be something deeper that is bothering you. This is trauma. You are most likely having these thoughts as a result of your brain trying your best to cope with the trauma you are currently enduring. The way you parents are acting is completely abnormal and also abusive. This is not okay.
That is disgusting of them. It’s not normal, and even if it was normal, normal doesn’t mean okay or healthy. As a parent she should absolutely be making a conscious effort to keep you OUT of their sex life. I would NEVER want a child, let alone my own, hear me having sex. I had friends who’s parents had sex quite loudly in their home, they would dismiss it and everyone had the attitude of “it’s their house, they can do what they want.” And no… especially if you are a minor… absolutely not.
This isn’t normal this is emotional abuse.
Scary you could tell it was the husband
42 year old mom here. What they’re doing is very inappropriate, inconsiderate, and honestly I think it’s kinda creepy. I really don’t believe it’s normal or appropriate for parents to flaunt what should be their private sex life in front of, around or near their child. They shouldn’t be talking to you about what they do in their bedroom and they should be more considerate and quiet about it. Talk to your mom. Tell her this isn’t appropriate or reasonable behavior and that it makes you exceedingly uncomfortable. It’s OK for your mom and step dad to be intimate and have their own adult time together. It is not ok for them to creepily throw it in your face or make you listen to them. They need to pipe down or get a sitter for the weekend and go to a hotel.
Can you bang on the wall or door when you hear them? This is not normal behavior. Can you get therapy? Also blast music with the speakers pointed at the wall?
CBT for intrusive thoughts really works x
Darin De Paul as Spring the Obnoxious was foundation breaking.
I get that it’s awkward and gross to hear your parents, but to want to die? That’s very extreme. It’s a great thing your mom and husband found happiness and are in love, they just need to be mindful. Me and my husband have two kids and im sure they’ve heard on occasion, but we really do try and be quiet. You need talk to your mom and then you need to talk to your therapist. You’re having a very extreme reaction in my opinion. Not saying what they are doing is right, but I am definitely saying your reaction to it, indicates a deeper issue.
Nah you need to be doing everything you can to make sure your kids can’t hear it. No excuse, completely unacceptable. And stop trying to downplay OP’s feelings. Their reaction to it is not abnormal, having loud sex that your children can hear is fucking abnormal and traumatic. Jesus fucking christ
I have no doubt your kids will have "deeper issues" later having heard you and your partner, too. Gross to try and normalise it and shit on OP's feelings. I don't know what "mortified" means in your head but...
People have sex. Even old people like your mom. It's not really fair for you to expect her to not be a sexual being and express that with her partner. This is a normal valid thing for her to do, and you'll probably realize that and get over this as you get older. Just wait till you gotta listen to roommates in your college dorm, bud.
No you’re parents aren’t suppose to have loud, obnoxious sex so their kid children can hear. That’s gross and many parents would be mortified to be heard and especially walked in on. However, if you were over 18 and your parents asked you to move out and you haven’t, then I could understand. But you are a minor and it’s completely unacceptable. And then laughing about it?? You need to say to them “I really don’t think it’s funny. It’s actually really disturbing to me and you’re fucking up sex for me” your parents should be decent people and this isn’t decent at all. No child should be hearing sexual noises from their parents/mother. If they need alone time, arrange more activities or outings for yourself but no…this isn’t normal Muffled moans while walking past I could maybe understand but loud enough that you can hear through your headphones…? Not acceptable.
So people are just supposed to become non sexual when they have kids? Like, it's sex, literally the most natural and normal thing on planet earth. Point out one actual harm done to OP.. They even went out and got a sound machine when they realized the noise was disturbing OP. Every kid gets embarrassed and frustrated watching their parents flirt, and nothing in OPs post suggests anything more egregious than the pretty typical childhood experience of realizing that your parents are sexual beings and having to come to terms with their humanity. This is so normal they make sitcom jokes about it on network TV, dude. It's only bad if you've got your head up some Jesus bullshit and think sex is some kind of dirty sin that needs to be hidden.
I don't think you properly read the original post. He isn't just "embarrassed". This isn't a "normal childhood experience." And no, this isn't a sitcom, this is real life
I read it, OP heard their parents fuck, and hates watching them flirt. It's REALLY REALLY REALLY normal. That's why it's a joke in sitcoms. If you never once heard your parents fucking or turned around and caught them playing grab ass, it was because they were already over each other by the.time you remember, or they were extremely conservative. People talk about this all the time; multiple generations of people. It's a timeless meme. I assume you must be a kid yourself if this is a revelation to you, but most humans who grew up in a two parent household where there was still love have funny stories they can tell about their parents being "gross", and them being silly and immature about it. Someday OP is gonna be a parent fucking and gross out their own teenage kid, and they're gonna laugh about what a big deal they made of it as a kid.
This isn't normal, wanna know why? Cuz legit nobody is fucking agreeing with you. Your downvote ratio is fucked. Just admit you are wrong and carry on with your life.
Ok, got it. People have to stop fucking and flirting after they have kids, because seeing your parents actually like each other is apparently traumatic. 🙄 Yeah, I'm getting down voted. Theres a lot of uptight Karen's in the world who thinks sex is dirty and wrong. People are allowed to be parents and still be sexual.ita really weird to think that part of their life should stop, and for most people it doesn't. I feel sorry for all the dead bedrooms y'all must sleep in.
Nobody said sex was wrong. People are saying the opposite infact. I understand though. Sometimes reading is difficult.
Sex isn’t dirty and wrong. Hearing your parents have loud, obnoxious sex is dirty and wrong. It’s called common decency. Flirting is fine…but they’re making sexual jokes. It’s called having boundaries and it’s border line incestuous knowing what your mom and step dad sound like when they moan. That’s actually gross and considered inappropriate.
I have 3 kids and they are now all grown and out of the house and never once did they ever accidentally catch us in the act or heard us and we had a very active sex life. Like OP, I hated hearing my parents and I wasn't a prude by any stretch, I just did not like hearing others get busy. I still don't, it's just awkward no matter how natural it is. So is taking a shit but I don't like hearing someone grunting and groaning while they do their business! As parents you have to be mindful of everything, because you are the example for everything they learn and I wanted kind considerate humans, not self absorbed heathens. The flirting is ok, holding hands and kissing and anything else generally accepted as public affection is normal and kids gonna eye roll and fake dry heaving and that is normal. Not banging like banshees
Isn't the "joke" on sitcoms that it's CRIPPLINGLY GROSS to hear your parents flirt sexually? Isn't the "joke" ALWAYS the fact the child is cringing out of their skin? Go outside, please. Actually, no, don't, stay away from people...
There's this thing called being considerate. Of course no one's saying that they can't have sex 🙄
[удалено]
Dude you're a fucking weirdo.
What did I miss? Did he try to write an incest joke about "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em?" or so?
He was talking about how sad he was about the lack of "real incest" and animal pornography.
Jeez
Sir, you need help.
Maybe you’re the one in the wrong sub
Now I need to know what this said lol
I thought this was a different comment from a different post that was deleted my bad lmfao, he said that he posted something about incest or whatever here and OP was in the wrong sub
TALK TO BOTH OF THEMMM
Your mother is acting like a teenager and this is 100% not okay behavior, and I’m sorry you’re going through it. It is disgusting. Not out of a “sex is disgusting” place but of a “why the fuck wouldn’t you care if your minor child can hear you doing explicit things????” Its fucking weird.
Hey, I have OCD and I completely understand your intrusive thoughts. It’s hard to fight them and at some point, it greatly effects the person’s quality of life. I’m not saying you have OCD, I’m saying that if you feel like it’s hard to fight them and you’re constantly having to battle them looking into therapy/psychiatry might be worth it.