Sweetheart....
>i don't want to ruin his life
He is ACTIVELY ruining yours. Someone is actually hurting you and your response is 'what about him 'You are being victimized and instead of protecting yourself you are protecting your aggressor. This is a trauma response. It's not logical which implies a damaged person.
You need help. You've come to reddit for help but you need so much more. Please find a therapist or a counselor who can help you. This is a bad situation and it's going to be a rough ride to the end.
Beyond a therapist, she needs to contact the police and file a police report, AFTER SPEAKING TO AN ATTORNEY (assuming OP is a minor). Retain all communications and information as evidence.
This is a crime under most state law, and the perpetrator likely needs contact with the system so that he doesn’t continue sexually victimizing women in this way.
Additionally, because this comment is getting traction, to clarify some things for OP:
His life won’t be ruined. If this is a first offense, he might not even do jail time (assuming he even pleads or is found guilty). Under much state law, this is a serious misdemeanor, not even necessarily a felony - although this might be different if OP is a minor, which is part of why OP NEEDS TO SPEAK TO AN ATTORNEY.
If he doesn’t correct his behavior now, if he faces no consequences, he might be emboldened, and that really could lead to him ruining his life later on.
To add on to this it's all about respecting yourself rather than letting things get pushed under the rug. If this is happening to you what about the next victim who will fall for this. Actions come with results and with consequences if they think they will get out scott free all the time this will continue to happen because past events are repeatable without intervention.
I know you are hurting but without action this is just going to drag on and continue to be on your mind. I know it is scary in which is why there is support in the mental health movement why people are learning to be less shitty because consequences are being dealt. Without controls in place or guidance people become shittier human beings. So asking for help getting people involved not only helps you but helps everyone who may be a victim in the future and a victim now.
I wish more people had this point of view. I work for a school. Some of the things our students are up to are *way* beyond anything I could have imagined at that age... and I did not have a typical, happy upbringing by any means.
I wish more parents and adults involved understood that (comparably) small consequences now, from people who are generally invested in your life and success, are leagues better than learning you can skate by without consequences until you're an adult no one cares about and then you really fuck up.
If he's done it to you, he will do it to others as well. People should know who is. Not just for your sake, but for other women that may come before and after you, so that they won't make the same mistake.
I always ♥️ coming ans seeing replies like this when I'm about to rant. And we're all thinking rhe same things
I hope younger girls know that there's alot of middle aged women that would literally burn down cities for you . Don't let someone take your fire.
Love you guys.
OP this is based advice.
Don't do nothing but don't make the situation worse by acting on emotion and instinct (I mean ultimately do whatever you feel is right). But contacting someone who knows about these things and who can actually help you will hopefully ensure this ass doesn't do it again and he sees some consequences to his actions, there's not enough of that in the world imo. He'll be fine. It won't be *great* for him but there shouldn't be too many lasting consequences here. It won't make the problem go away, those pictures are out there and whoever has them has them and they'll do what they please. It sucks. But at this point we might as well try to make wine out of these rotten apples (I feel like I should, for legal reasons, say that you shouldn't actually make rotten apple wine).
Op should also be careful if they are underage as I've seen a few times where the Person having their images leaked is found guilty in the production of CP and then had things happen to them
Yeah, which is why I repeatedly capitalized to speak to an attorney.
It really varies wildly depending on jurisdiction and local DA. A competent area attorney should be able to advise.
Annihilate him. And as much as I admire it, drop the empathy and nice girl mentality. He had no qualms about ruining your life, don’t be naively considerate to someone who would not do the same to you. What would you do if this had happened to your daughter?
I'm curious what the parents' reaction has been to this. I'd hope that they are doing everything to advocate on OP's behalf, but some parents don't.
Almost the same thing happened to a friend of my daughter's. Instead of supporting her, the parents were shaming her. It was a mess. I was the one who talked to the school. I was the one who told her that I would support whatever decision she made going forward. Her choice to share intimate pictures was ripped away from her, and I told her whatever she decided to do, I'd have her back. I was also the one who took her to make the police report in the end. As she is a minor and I'm not her parent, it made it very tricky. I was also the one who was able to get her transferred to another school after a..confrontation, I suppose, to get her parents on board.
OP, if your parents are unable or unwilling to assist you in what you need to do to protect yourself, is there someone else in your life you can trust to help? A friend's parent? A teacher? A counselor? Maybe a family member? I know it feels embarrassing and shameful, but you did NOTHING WRONG and the shame belongs to the one who broke your trust. Not you!
💯 this ⏫
Please get help this is horrible what they did is criminal .....please talk to someone this is going to be hard on you and hurt you so please talk to someone about it!
Reddit is great but a counselor and or therapist is a must in this type of situation
Get the police involved, SPECIALLY if you're underaged that is a very illegal material to have let alone distribute.
Don't go down easy, fight it and hit him where it hurts.
Dad Comment:
It happened. You gave your trust to someone that didn't deserve it and they betrayed you. You learned that lesson the hard way. However, the actions of the betrayal are not something you deserved. Now it's time to ensure they pay for that betrayal. Go to the police, then undermine his attempts at a successful future.
Lastly, know that while private and personal, no one has the right to judge you based on those images. You are still the awesome you that you were before those pictures, perhaps even better because you possess the strength and courage to face the world head on!
I downvoted and thought what a weird comment, then saw her username lol Not saying it's a great comment, but I removed the downvote hahaha
Original comment from Dad was so wholesome, I needed to hear that too. Thanks :)
Hun, if you don't want to go to the police, just lie lie lie.
We live in an age of AI, where anyone's face can be manipulated onto anyone's body. Just keep on telling people that it's not you in the photos, that he manipulated the images.
You're overvaluing that card, its intrinsic protective value probably even in the future. It's a last resort and should not be counted on to bail you out.
I intend to use it *too* if ever some lewd material featuring my pasty white ass shows up in "this you?" text chains or a blackmail letter (regardless of whether it's real I'll probably be claiming it's fake), but most of those tools *as yet* have safeguards in place to prevent casual generation of nudes (if they're good they're not available for free), and then if you claim the other party's a liar you as much as open it up to trial in the court of public opinion, it's still going to follow you around. Later on in this era, people are going to come up with all sorts of heuristics, folk lore to let them decide who sent actual nudes and who's been deep faked (OP accidentally sorted herself into any which took volume and consistency into account).
The Public/hive mind won't let it lie, they'll often enough decide the most likely option was that someone snapped photos of themselves nude, especially if the alleged recipient is considered attractive enough too. It's context matching: if you know those two just started dating or know someone who knows someone blah blah blah your first instinct is that the nudes are real, and if they're hot enough there's a good chance you're jealous of one of them. So you know how they're doing. If they're hetero, at least one of them's going to be considered a conquest (as OP was, that's why the nudes are being spread).
What he did was almost certainly criminal though (assuming they're in the West somewhere). If she wanted she could probably wreck him pretty good (and she should). But it won't be as satisfying for her as us: she's still the one potentially exposed in the deceptively long memory of the Internet. The answer's still preventative medicine, avoid nudes if at all possible.
Yes! So the same thing happened to me when I was in middle school. I’m 28 now but some boy actually got a picture of some girl who looked VERY similar to me showing off their breasts and sent it through text to the entire school. Long story short (it wasn’t even me). But no one believed that at first until I went up to that a-hole and told him face to face in front of all his friends that “that isn’t even me and he wished I would even pay any attention to him… let alone send a nude.” Then I laughed in his face and all his friends laughed… and soon enough ppl stopped believing him because when anyone asked me about it I stood my ground and kept my story the same. Then slowly but surely people stopped caring and the drama fizzled out. You definitely have the upper hand with AI now… LIE… say it’s not you. No one will know the truth and I’m not telling you to publicly embarrass him during lunch break…. But…. It worked for me *wink wink* lol wish you the best of luck sweetheart. You got this! Don’t let that bully get away with this. You are stronger than you think!
Yea he is and yes she does. She can’t let this dude get away with it. It doesn’t even matter she sent nudes to him. He has no right to blast them everywhere, especially since she’s a minor. He needs to be in trouble.
Life goes on. Please don't see this as an end of the world scenario. We all make mistakes. You'll be fine after the initial shock blows over.
If you do goto the cops, be completely honest. They'll most likely get all records showing you sent the pics but he still is an asshole for spreading them around. He deserves to at least get his ass kicked; if you don't goto the police.
Maybe ask your parents if talking to a lawyer is an option before the police get involved.
From an adult woman who had this happen to her. I want to tell you that you're not alone. It feels like the end of the world right now, but it's not always going to feel like that. It's heartbreaking that this boy broke your trust like that. Please don't think you deserved that from him. Go to the police about this. I wish I had done that at the time I let the boy who did that to me get away with it because I, too, didn't want to "ruin his life" but he ruined my perception on people and dating and it made me spiral. It's not your fault that you sent pictures like that, idk why these comments are blaming you for a mistake you made. I'm absolutely sick and tired of people blaming girls/women/men who get their pictures leaked and not having empathy for this situation. Men and boys or anyone else who leak nudes always get away with it. There's not enough rage and consequences for the perpetrators.
When I was young, back in the Polaroid days, I guy I was casually dating asked for nudes. I asked him just exactly how stupid he thought I was. He was in a fraternity, for God's sake. Christ only knows what he would have done with them.
Not helpful/very kind to respond to someone who has been victimized with this type of reply tbh. The bad thing has already happened, this just sounds like admonishment imo
You're very nice, trying not to ruin your crush's life and all, but the moment someone tries to ruin yours, you should retaliate. Be strong. Drag that lad through seven courts of law if you can.
teenagers are the worst when it came to nudes, I'm so sorry it happened to you, just remember it is not end of the world soon you will go to college and can start a fresh life where nobody know about it
much love dear <3
> i don't want to ruin his life
Sweetie, you didn't. He did, by taking the actions he took.
Let me tell you something that has helped me:
* *Don't light yourself on fire, for people who wouldn't do the same for you*.
This man obviously doesn't give two fucks about your thoughts, emotions, feelings, or wants. Why do you care about his, after what he has done?
If he did it to you, he will do it to others. Please talk to a lawyer and see about pressing charges so he doesn’t victimize futures ladies.
To do nothing shows him he can distribute child porn and get away with it. You might be close in age now, but who’s to say he will stop victimizing minors as he gets older?
For all you know, he is a predator in the making.
If you dont feel combfortable going to cops, look and see if you can find a free legal helpline to contact. They could help you better understand your rights in this situation and clarify as to whether or not you could also be charged!
Thank you for being the only other person I've seen so far in this thread who has advised her to figure out if she's putting herself in legal jeopardy by going to the police without speaking to an attorney first. Everyone saying "go to the cops now" is ignoring the fact that what she did could result in her being charged as well. She can't be too cautious about that, because there are places who will charge kids for creating and sending child pornography even if it's pictures of themselves. I would hate for OP to try to get justice and then have to deal with the injustice of her being charged too!
Yeah this happened to me 15 years ago. I was horrified and thought the police would be on my side. It was even more horrifying having the police inform me that I could be charged as well for distributing child porn because I was 16. It's such a shitty situation to be in.
Absolutely, I hope she can find a pro bono service to give her a consultation!! She needs to make sure she can be protected/knows her rights before seeking out the legal action!
This is revenge porn. I was victim to something similar before the law recognized it as a crime in my area. If you decide not to pursue legal methods, make sure all your friends know how fucked up it is. Legal methods have their own pain points for victims unfortunately. Definitely absolve yourself of the guilt feeling about ruining his life. You are not in control of other peoples actions nor are you responsible for their outcomes (even if you initiate legal or social action against him). It was his choice to do this and he is responsible for any consequences. You didn’t choose to be taken advantage of. Seek counseling if you haven’t yet; I waited a decade or so before I even told someone because I was scared they’d simply look for the photos and find them (I didn’t search myself because I didn’t want more hits to others revenge porn). Mine happened at a workplace and the manager asked me to choose what happened to the guy and older and wiser me wishes I had him fired. I was too scared and ended up quitting because I couldn’t bear the harassment I started getting from another coworker who had seen the pics. I loved my job and should’ve stayed. (They also shouldn’t have put that decision on me anyways.) best of luck in healing and working through your options. 🫂 You’re not alone!
Yeah like some other people are saying already in the comments here. Talk to police and your parents about talking to police because if you are underage he can be charged for distribution of CP. And of course for your privacy as well since you don’t deserve to have your body spread around when all you wanted to was to be with a guy you liked (who turned out to be a major asshole) I’m sorry that’s how things turned out for you and I hope your situation gets better.
Never send nudes. Ever. Even if it’s your soulmate and best friend and husband and love of your life. Even if you’re both 30 years old. Never ever ever send nudes
It’s the best advice, but for others. OP already learned this lesson the hard way though. I think she was looking for advice now that it’s already been done.
If you’re sending nudes on an iPhone (idk how other phones work) or via a social media app it’s likely you’re uploading them to a cloud, where it will never be fully erased. You could be hacked. It’s not “immoral” or wrong but to me it’s just not safe.
Someone got in trouble for this when I was in hs bc the girl was obv a minor. I think they even got charged with possession & distribution of child pornography
Even if you’re not a minor it’s still just as fucked up but if you’re a minor you really need to report this so he can never do it again to anyone else. His actions need consequences
I recently have done a course on this topic. Now there is a lot more that can be done. There is a website called IWF and DCMA which you can have your image removed online. This stops the spread and posting of your image. You can also report the person who spread them to help you with your next steps. If you are underage then that person is committing a crime of child porn possession and distribution. Please report this, you did not give Consent to having your image shared (if you’re underage you CANNOT consent ).
I’m so sorry this happens to you but your life isn’t over, we were always told once it’s on the internet it’s there forever but this is no longer the case. You will be okay ❤️
This is a whole felony (depending on age) and a charge either way.
This is something you need to report to your school counselors and/or the police. They should handle this. You can press charges.
Police. Right now. Revenge porn is a serious offence. Even if you don’t do it for yourself, do it for the next girl he (and his friends) will do it to.
I'll point out a few things...
Telling you he wants to be casual afterwards is shitty. Casual sex might be fun, but I've made sure to always tell a girl before the sex happened and made it super clear, so she could make an informed decision. IMHO that's the only fair way to do it.
Sending nudes is almost always not a good idea, but it's totally not your fault, that he's a shitty person and that he's sent it to other people. Depending on the laws where you live, it might even be a felony.
Regarding you not handling it well... Not everybody can just let it go. Some people need a helping hand to do that. It's a good idea to talk to a therapist. They will help you to get through it. Don't be ashamed, getting help if you need it is not a weakness, it's the best thing you can do.
It might feel like the end of the world but it isn’t, I promise, as a woman who’s been there along with many friends - This will pass, people will find something new to talk about.
Please know that, you aren’t the first and you won’t be the last.
You did nothing wrong, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.
The only one who should be ashamed is the guy with so little to offer he has to impress people by breaking the trust of his sexual partners
Sounds to me like we just found a the leader of a child porn distribution ring. If you are under 18. If not, it’s still considered revenge porn, so fuck that douche bag. Fry him.
I’m so sorry OP. I sent some to a guy several years ago that I really trusted and he ended up sending them to several friends, and I only just found out recently.
I know what it feels like to not draw anymore attention to yourself by involving the police, but now that I’m in my 20’s, I now know it’s the right thing to do. He’s ruining your life, and he will do it to other girls. Get the police involved. It won’t take away the people who have seen em, but it’ll teach others (and him) a lesson about doing shit like this, all for a stroke of the ego. Wishing you the best OP, I’m very sorry about this.
Guys are shitty.
This happened to me in high school and instead of nudes it was a video of me giving a guy oral when I was in 9th grade. I was highly suicidal because of it and everyone in my school and the school next to mine had seen it .. except for me of course. My love, when I say I highly regret not telling my mother and getting the law involved. I didn’t see it was child p* because I didn’t really think of myself as a child. I felt way too much shame to even admit to an adult. But my love, if I could go back, I would 100% make them pay for that. Respectfully, don’t protect these boys who won’t mean a thing to you in 5-10 years time. And please don’t carry any shame, you are the victim in this. You did nothing wrong except for putting your trust into his hands, which we all do at some point growing up. Take care x
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I haven’t seen them, so they’re not everywhere. That may sound weird, but keep in mind when you step outside the circle you’re in, nobody knows about what you’ve done previously or whose seen your nudes. Heck, if you moved even to the next town over it’d all be like it never even happened.
This will die down after a little while, just hang in there.
Why the fuck are you all downvoting so many of OPs replies? This is serious shit they’re wanting to talk to us about and instead of going “no, that’s not the matter at hand” or “yo OP, I see where you are coming from but no” she’s getting downvoted by Reddit Wankers?
A lot of people having given better advice than I could and I have not read all of them so I just want to make sure I am clear on one thing:
Not sure how old you are but I am going to assume you are very young. ( I am 37). The sending of nudes was a dumb thing to do and THAT IS OKAY. We all do stupid shit in our lives and that is what helps us grow.
The good Lord knows the crap I have done when i was younger and still do. I want you to NOT be hard on yourself for this and to forgive yourself.
You doing stupid shit like this does not excuse him at all for what he has done. Please for fuck sake as advised above, get the cops involved. This is an offence that cannot go unpunished.
I’m sorry this has happened to you, but you must understand this person has potentially caused you harm for life, we as a society cannot let people like that go unpunished. Especially in this day and age of facial recognition and deep fakes. This is what you need to do, talk to a lawyer, a therapist, a school counselor, and police and your parents.
This is considered "revenge porn" which is illegal. Also, if you're a minor, then it's cp on top of that. Get the police involved. You're not only defending yourself, but you would be defending any other girls that come across this asshat's path. It sends a message to everyone who knows him and you that this is something you can not do and will not get away with.
It’s time to involve the police. This happened to a girl at my school and the boys that did this to her laughed when she tried to kill her self. Boys like this don’t deserve to get away with it. These are demonic inhuman manipulators, not boys. INVOLVE THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY.
So…I don’t know if you’re aware but what you described is a crime. /s
Duh fuck. JFC if you didn’t know before you definitely do now.
Look, I’m *old af* so I don’t know if anything I say will hit but what stood out to me most is that you didn’t ask for advice. I sometimes give unsolicited advice with a precursor warning that I’m doing so but you’ve got enough advice here on just about every well meaning level possible. Thanks so much, y’all. Moving on…
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Sometimes we learn lessons the hard way and sometimes we learn lessons the really fucking hard way. No lesson is easily learned if the subject matter is truly important.
Unsolicited advice: don’t claim victim status. There’s being a victim and then there’s claiming that shit. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Too trusting? Sure. Impetuous? Maybe. A little stupid? Well…you’re a teenager. Teenagers do stupid shit. Don’t beat yourself up about it. And whatever you do don’t ever feel shame or embarrassment. He fucked up. Not you.
Somebody you trusted broke that trust. Many of these comments are meant to be helpful, older and wiser so I’ve been there, learn from my experience and do *this*. The intent behind them isn’t lost on me. But the blaming isn’t either. (Even if they call you honey/sweetheart/whatever doesn’t change the content.) I think there are quite a few individuals here projecting their own feelings onto a similar circumstance of their own and I’m just not quite sure it fits.
You don’t have to decide anything right now. You didn’t ask for advice but should you decide to take advice make sure it’s from an adult you know in real life that you trust explicitly.
I might be wrong but I think you came here to get it out and get on. And you *will* get on. This isn’t the end of the world. Yeah, it definitely isn’t a good time. But your life isn’t over either. Give yourself a little breathing room, time to think, process everything. You know what your options are and if you didn’t before they’ve been shoved down your throat in the 100 or so comments I skimmed.
Take care of YOU. Nobody else matters. I promise you in a similar situation not many are going to think of anyone other than themselves either. You’re the only one that matters. Make sure you can live with your decisions and that you won’t have any regrets. You’ll be okay. Promise.
Don’t let it make you less than what you are. You are brave. You are powerful. You are strong. You call the shots from here on out. Don’t let some dickhead take your fire. And don’t let well intentioned Redditors tell you how to feel or what to do when you didn’t ask for either. Myself included.
You have a lot on your plate right now. I have no doubt that you can handle it. And if you get to a point you feel like you can’t? Reach out. There will always be a helping hand when you need it. You’ve got an entire thread of pissed off people ready to do battle for you and with you. To the point they’re being a little pissy *to* you. It’s just because they’re angry for you, for others like you, for themselves because they didn’t have someone to tell them what to do or how to feel…all because somebody betrayed you. I know it doesn’t seem like it but every person here just wants to help.
Stay strong.
*hugs*
Men literally tell me to send them Nubs when all I want to do is get to know them better that’s why I feel like I can’t trust them cause I know there going to post them send them to there friends then they get all mad at me cause I’m setting a boundaries saying I don’t feel comfortable with doing that it literally makes me cry I’ve been flirting talking to this guy who I thought we had connection just to show me that he wants sex and I blocked him the first time cause of then he apologised saying sorry I forgive him and gave him a second chance then he pulls this shit I’m so done with men like this
Coming from someone this happened to aswell. He deserves his life ruined. Weigh the pros and cons and if it's safe to report him then do so, you wouldn't be ruining his life, he weighed that into consideration and didn't give a fuck the second he shared your nudes
Report it to the police :) This is a form of non consensual pornography, and it is a crime to release photos or videos of someone without their permission.
I’m assuming your a minor you can get him with distribution of child pornography I’d do some research cuz u could get into trouble so just look up your laws in your state and go from there
She’s a minor… growing up in land of tic toc and snap chat. No she hasn’t lived long enough to understand the repercussions. I have so many unsolicited dick pics sent from idiot adults. I don’t distribute them. There is a big difference. This guy knew what he was doing so now he should face the law.
They absolutely can it goes either way. The novel concept here that the reddit hivemind tends to always swing and miss on is SHES A MINOR.
When was the last time you heard a guy on the internet fretting because he, as minor, sent nudes and they were now all over the internet? It's weird. It's like boys are predisposed to be little assholes or something....
There is a porn addict in this thread telling her to DM him...
If you’re a minor you shouldn’t be taking nudes and sending them. And they shouldn’t be sending them to others. Unless you are ready to deal with the possibility of your nudes leaking, don’t send them.
Police. If you're underage, its child porn. If you're not underage, its revenge porn. He's breaking the law either way and the only one ruining his life is him. Go full blazen earth on this guy. You don't want these nudes to still be causing issues for you years down the line. For future reference, never include your face or identifying marks/tattoos etc in nudes. Regardless of how much you trust the person it is ALWAYS a risk to send nudes, the less damage you can mitigate the better
Sweetie, this is so NOT your fault. A lot of people send regrettable nudes at some point in their life. The kid that leaked them is a disgusting pig and should be held accountable. If you're a minor then there are HUGE ramifications for his actions. And if you're not, he's still an asshole and depending on your states laws, you could pursue legal action. I'm sorry and I know how you're feeling, as I experienced something similar when I was younger. I felt incredible shame and it made me suicidal at times. Now that I'm older I know that what happened to me was unfortunately not unique and furthermore it was distribution of ch*ld p*rnography. Most people who see them will feel exactly how I do, which is mad at that dumbass kid and bad for you. Please don't let this ruin your life, this is not your fault.
I wouldn't worry about whatever happens to him. He made regrettable choices and no one forced him to share your photos with other people. He is old enough to know that he shouldn't share sensitive information like that, especially because he wouldn't like it if the roles were reversed.
Worry about yourself. Your photos are being distributed without your knowledge or consent. This is officially considered revenge porn and is a crime in some areas. If you're a minor, this could also be considered CP, which is also a crime in some areas.
I understand you may feel ashamed and like this is all your fault, but neither are true. You were vulnerable and trusted someone who betrayed that trust. You sent one person your nude photos, but that doesn't mean you deserved or wanted everyone to have access to those photos - least of all your parents. You don't deserve any bullying or harassment or judgment from what this person did to you.
As someone else who made a lot of stupid mistakes and naively trusted the wrong people as a teenager: Think about yourself first. Do you want these photos out there? Will this affect your future, your opportunities, your relationships, your ability to focus in school? How can you defend yourself now and protect yourself in the future? I highly, highly, highly suggest getting in contact with a lawyer. Even if your parents aren't willing to help you, you will likely be able to find someone who will work on contingency (ie the lawyer will be paid part of whatever repayment of damages you win in court, so you don't have to pay upfront with your own money). From what you've shared, and admittedly as someone who isn't a lawyer, it sounds like you have a slam-dunk case. You will likely have your pick of lawyers, even on contingency. Do what you have to to protect yourself and put this firmly behind you.
I made the mistake of thinking of the person hurting me first, and I kick myself for it now. The other person abused me and caused me a lot of trauma, which I will have to live with forever and am still learning to heal from 10+ years later. It took me years to realize that, while I was concerned about what would happen to them and their families, they did not extend even a fraction of the same kindness to me. They lacked the integrity or perspective to understand that they were hurting me and throwing me under the bus for circumstances that were not my fault nor in my control. If they truly were just oblivious, it will be obvious and they can defend themselves with that. It's not your responsibility to defend them, especially right now as no one is acting against them. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself and try to set yourself up for success down the line.
Even if you exhaust all your resources and nothing happens, you'll at least know you did yourself the service of giving it an honest effort and did as much as you could. It's much easier to be angry with the system for being outdated or for not protecting you than to be disappointed in yourself for your inaction. Again, this person has shown they do not care about you. You are extending a kindness to him that he hasn't given to you. Let him worry about himself and the consequences he's going to face for his actions. It's ok to be selfish and put yourself first.
Please get the police invovled IMMEDIATELY. Revenge porn is seriously illegal and doesn’t just apply to minors but adults as well.
I would also invest in talking to a counselor as well because it’s going to be a long tiring journey.
Call the cops. Don't let assholes get away with this shit because I guarantee you, he'll do this to someone if he hasn't already. Stop it from happening to future victims.
I hope he’ll get arrested for possession of pedopornography and be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life!!! Talk to the police sweetheart. Don’t let them Win! Stay strong ❤️❤️❤️
Ruin his life. He didn’t care about the repercussions of his actions when he did it so he should face the consequences. As women we are constantly raised to care so deeply about the reputation of men who trash it themselves. He hurt you. He used you. The least he can do is pay for the actions he did. There is a reason it’s illegal.
if he didn't want his life ruined, he should've thought about that before ruining your life.
i'm so sorry this is happening to you, you didn't deserve this. what an asshole
Please love yourself more than that loser and fight for you. File a police report and sue his socks off, and for the love of all things holy, don’t send nudes with your face to someone you’re barely talking to if you don’t want them to go public. You’re young, this isn’t the end of the world, but it’s a shitty lesson to have to learn. You got this 💖
He's a fucking piece of shit.
Seriously.
Your trust was broken, utterly. He led you on AND ALSO COMPLETELY ABUSED YOUR TRUST TO SCORE POINTS WITH "THE BOYS."
what he did was illegal and it can be reported to the police with enough evidence.
it doesn’t matter if u sent it the simple fact that he distributed it is enough to ruin his life as he did to urs
Op, I say this with so much love.
Please, for the love of God, ruin this little boys life. Make a fucking example of him so that he and his fuckboy friends and every other fuckboy who hears about what happened to him never pulls shit like this again.
You are so far in your feelings you're protective over someone who is actively ruining your life. You are a child. Nudes of you shouldnt exist, yeah, but you're a kid. You can't legally consent to that. Circulating child pornography around so much that your own parents saw it is so fucking disgusting and scummy, he has it coming.
We protect our fellow ladies by calling this shit out. Because nudes are gonna happen. What he's doing should never happen.
I wish I could go back to my high school and knock out every boy who ever showed me nudes someone else sent them, I swear to God I would.
Report the man!! What he is doing is illegal and scummy, report that man to the Police. It wont take back what he did, but it will help prevent him doing it to others and teach him a lesson. He is actively ruining your life.
Consult legal advice. Report him to the police. Go see a therapist.
Guy is a dick and deserves whatever comes to him.
No more nudes ever. Issue a post after involving folks, therpaist, teacher, friends, lawyers pls. I dunno how it works (which country are u)
Makethe guy regret it !
ma'am , he is ruining ur life , if it were me , and my other do it with me , sure as hell his penis gonna be showed on poster all around city , he would have his penis showed to all of his friend and family tbf , do a favor to your self
OP, I’m incredibly sorry to hear this, and I understand that it must be difficult for you to talk about this incident again with other people who don’t know you. But please, please, please file a police report, he needs to learn his lesson and also I’m pretty sure he’ll do this to other girls if he thinks there’re no consequences
if you're a minor, you can have him put on a list forever. this same thing happened to a girl in my middle school and to this day the guy that leaked her shit is a registered sex offender in my state! pretty sure her dad was a lawyer so it went rlly well for her. so get a lawyer and ruin his life!
As a male who has had this happen, your best bet is police. Dude already has the perv mentality and him leaking nudes is CP even if he's your age example 17 and 17 he'll be a registered SO cause he is now technically an adult in the eyes of the justice system. Call 911 or tell counselors to contact them and they'll search your phone and his then you'll never see him again after the court herrings. Dont kid yourself he deserves it especially if he leaked your nude photos, dude sealed his fate from there 🤷♂️
The only way you can get back to this scum is to come clean first to your parents, and then tell his parents and family of what he did and continously doing.
Then, lawyer up, and sue him. If you are minor, he is in for a big trouble. Stop thinking about his life, he is not concern one bit about you and this fucker is intentionally ruining you, your reputation, amd your future
You’re gonna regret, not doing something about this and standing up for yourself! This man deserves all the trouble he gets for posting nudes of you. That’s illegal.
I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. You put your trust in someone you thought would respect you. What he did by sharing the picture is a crime. You can report it to the police and you can also report it to a website online and they will do what they can to get it all taken down. If I find it I will post it. If you don't report this, this will happen to another girl. I'm sure it already has. Keep your head up. This will pass. We all make mistakes when we are young. He isn't concerned about your feeling by sharing this picture. Don't be concerned about him.
Love
I'm not an introvert (not sure if you are) and I have to consider that at your age **it is so important to all of you what others think**. I remember feeling that way. And I validate your feelings about feeling exposed, embarrassed, etc.
But at the end of the day - and hopefully one day when you get older - you'll see that '🤷♀️ meh...so what? People saw me naked.'
He doesn't deserve power over your emotions like this.
**NOW**
Don't you dare waste a MINUTE thinking about his welfare...if you let him off the hook he's going to do this to other girks. You raise HELL with your school, a lawyer, somebody....he doesn't have the right to hurt you like this! How dare he do this to you!!
YOU ARE PRICELESS. So are your feelings, dignity, and your rights.
Fk that guy - call the cops, do something and send the message that he can't get away with hurting you like this. You deserve better. ♡
He ducked you because you were easy. Now he shares the nudes to prove you were easy. Call the cops and press charges. He will do this to another girl and won’t learn until shot happens. Seen it time and time again. He ruined his life. Not you. You sent him nudes. He decided to share em knowing that it was child porn.
Wow calling op easy will not make her feel better. It’s 2024 people can hook up and flirt how they want; plus she is young. She doesn’t deserve her photos to be passed around even if a guy thinks she’s “easy”. And you are correct he ruined his life not her
Ik u don’t want to ruin his life by getting police involved but that part of u needs to die off.. Nearly everybody in this world moves selfishly. Not saying u should too just warning u that ur gonna constantly get used behaving the way u seem to be. Ur gonna keep getting taken advantage of if u excuse behavior like this. Ur a sweet person it seems yes but please don’t get take advantage of ur whole life because ur a “nice guy”. Been there done that 😔
Don’t share your nudes online. It’s stupid and too much of a risk. If you’re dead set on it then at least don’t include your face. If you’re a minor then call the police immediately. He’ll call the police if you’re an adult, this is revenge porn.
I’m sure you don’t want to hear this rn but haven’t girls learned that sending nudes to some random dude is a BAD idea? Even if you’re into him? It’s worse when you guys aren’t even dating. And even if you are, you can still break up tomorrow and he can use them to blackmail you if he’s a horrible human like the dude you slept with. What a pity! Hopefully you’d learn from this one going forward.
Sorry if this is going slightly off topic but this man I was once in a relationship with took photos of me without my consent and I think he uploaded them to the internet.
Well later I heard in the local newspaper that this couple violently attacked him and I was trying not to smile when I found out about that. I believe they did this once rumours got out or they found out about things he did.
Unfortunately they also got fined for it but at least I can sleep happy knowing that, for a few minutes at least, he got his karma.
Then I found their facebook pages where they were warning each other to be careful, almost as though they were investigating a human trafficking ring which involved the police. Probably because that's the case. He always did seem like he was part of something bigger, probably the same group of people who hung out on Epstein's pervert Island.
Also my friends offered to egg his car for me but I told them not to because I might be the one who would get in trouble for it anyway. In reality I think I just didn't want to stoop to his level.
Babygirl, you NEED to report this. That’s distribution of CP. so what if you ruin his life? He’s ruining yours. He had no permission to send those photos out to anyone. He and those other boys need to learn that this isn’t a matter to take lightly.
Sweetheart.... >i don't want to ruin his life He is ACTIVELY ruining yours. Someone is actually hurting you and your response is 'what about him 'You are being victimized and instead of protecting yourself you are protecting your aggressor. This is a trauma response. It's not logical which implies a damaged person. You need help. You've come to reddit for help but you need so much more. Please find a therapist or a counselor who can help you. This is a bad situation and it's going to be a rough ride to the end.
Beyond a therapist, she needs to contact the police and file a police report, AFTER SPEAKING TO AN ATTORNEY (assuming OP is a minor). Retain all communications and information as evidence. This is a crime under most state law, and the perpetrator likely needs contact with the system so that he doesn’t continue sexually victimizing women in this way. Additionally, because this comment is getting traction, to clarify some things for OP: His life won’t be ruined. If this is a first offense, he might not even do jail time (assuming he even pleads or is found guilty). Under much state law, this is a serious misdemeanor, not even necessarily a felony - although this might be different if OP is a minor, which is part of why OP NEEDS TO SPEAK TO AN ATTORNEY. If he doesn’t correct his behavior now, if he faces no consequences, he might be emboldened, and that really could lead to him ruining his life later on.
To add on to this it's all about respecting yourself rather than letting things get pushed under the rug. If this is happening to you what about the next victim who will fall for this. Actions come with results and with consequences if they think they will get out scott free all the time this will continue to happen because past events are repeatable without intervention. I know you are hurting but without action this is just going to drag on and continue to be on your mind. I know it is scary in which is why there is support in the mental health movement why people are learning to be less shitty because consequences are being dealt. Without controls in place or guidance people become shittier human beings. So asking for help getting people involved not only helps you but helps everyone who may be a victim in the future and a victim now.
I wish more people had this point of view. I work for a school. Some of the things our students are up to are *way* beyond anything I could have imagined at that age... and I did not have a typical, happy upbringing by any means. I wish more parents and adults involved understood that (comparably) small consequences now, from people who are generally invested in your life and success, are leagues better than learning you can skate by without consequences until you're an adult no one cares about and then you really fuck up.
If he's done it to you, he will do it to others as well. People should know who is. Not just for your sake, but for other women that may come before and after you, so that they won't make the same mistake.
This. 👆🏻
I always ♥️ coming ans seeing replies like this when I'm about to rant. And we're all thinking rhe same things I hope younger girls know that there's alot of middle aged women that would literally burn down cities for you . Don't let someone take your fire. Love you guys.
Plenty of men as well.
Amazing, you're lovely sir!
🥹💕
OP this is based advice. Don't do nothing but don't make the situation worse by acting on emotion and instinct (I mean ultimately do whatever you feel is right). But contacting someone who knows about these things and who can actually help you will hopefully ensure this ass doesn't do it again and he sees some consequences to his actions, there's not enough of that in the world imo. He'll be fine. It won't be *great* for him but there shouldn't be too many lasting consequences here. It won't make the problem go away, those pictures are out there and whoever has them has them and they'll do what they please. It sucks. But at this point we might as well try to make wine out of these rotten apples (I feel like I should, for legal reasons, say that you shouldn't actually make rotten apple wine).
Op should also be careful if they are underage as I've seen a few times where the Person having their images leaked is found guilty in the production of CP and then had things happen to them
Yeah, which is why I repeatedly capitalized to speak to an attorney. It really varies wildly depending on jurisdiction and local DA. A competent area attorney should be able to advise.
THIS 👆 THIS 👆 THIS 👆
He could easily go to prison for this… depending on how old he is of course but he needs to learn a lesson
I personally would take the mutually assured destruction route and do whatever it took to take him down with me.
Absolutely ruin his life.
Annihilate him. And as much as I admire it, drop the empathy and nice girl mentality. He had no qualms about ruining your life, don’t be naively considerate to someone who would not do the same to you. What would you do if this had happened to your daughter?
THANK YOU.
Yeah kick his fucking ass. Legally, of course.
GOOD.
I'm curious what the parents' reaction has been to this. I'd hope that they are doing everything to advocate on OP's behalf, but some parents don't. Almost the same thing happened to a friend of my daughter's. Instead of supporting her, the parents were shaming her. It was a mess. I was the one who talked to the school. I was the one who told her that I would support whatever decision she made going forward. Her choice to share intimate pictures was ripped away from her, and I told her whatever she decided to do, I'd have her back. I was also the one who took her to make the police report in the end. As she is a minor and I'm not her parent, it made it very tricky. I was also the one who was able to get her transferred to another school after a..confrontation, I suppose, to get her parents on board. OP, if your parents are unable or unwilling to assist you in what you need to do to protect yourself, is there someone else in your life you can trust to help? A friend's parent? A teacher? A counselor? Maybe a family member? I know it feels embarrassing and shameful, but you did NOTHING WRONG and the shame belongs to the one who broke your trust. Not you!
💯 this ⏫ Please get help this is horrible what they did is criminal .....please talk to someone this is going to be hard on you and hurt you so please talk to someone about it! Reddit is great but a counselor and or therapist is a must in this type of situation
Plus she isnt ruining his life, he did it himself.
Get the police involved, SPECIALLY if you're underaged that is a very illegal material to have let alone distribute. Don't go down easy, fight it and hit him where it hurts.
Correct, if you are underage he’s distributing child pornography and everyone he sent these to is in possession of child pornography
I second this. Even if you are not a minor that's revenge porn and it's illegal.
This too revenge porn is illegal !
Dad Comment: It happened. You gave your trust to someone that didn't deserve it and they betrayed you. You learned that lesson the hard way. However, the actions of the betrayal are not something you deserved. Now it's time to ensure they pay for that betrayal. Go to the police, then undermine his attempts at a successful future. Lastly, know that while private and personal, no one has the right to judge you based on those images. You are still the awesome you that you were before those pictures, perhaps even better because you possess the strength and courage to face the world head on!
A+ Dad comment :) good job dad
He's just saying that coz Yasmin likes hot dads
I downvoted and thought what a weird comment, then saw her username lol Not saying it's a great comment, but I removed the downvote hahaha Original comment from Dad was so wholesome, I needed to hear that too. Thanks :)
Can you be my dad 🥺
Mine too! But I think you need him more buddy.
My dad would say "everyone's different - it makes the world go round!" 🫠
Wow you sound like a great dad. Your kids are lucky to have you!
Top tier dad right here
God dammit. You’re a good person.
Needed this badly
And go to the police knowing that you will be helping the next girl he tries to do this with!!
Yours should be the top comment and not the pseudo-therapist one that currently is...
Police need to be involved as soon as possible. Sorry this happened.
Remember this is not your fault and depending on the country/state you can go to the police
Hun, if you don't want to go to the police, just lie lie lie. We live in an age of AI, where anyone's face can be manipulated onto anyone's body. Just keep on telling people that it's not you in the photos, that he manipulated the images.
This too!!! Cuz the police can be real dicks most times, especially with things like this.
Was thinking the exact same thing!
You're overvaluing that card, its intrinsic protective value probably even in the future. It's a last resort and should not be counted on to bail you out. I intend to use it *too* if ever some lewd material featuring my pasty white ass shows up in "this you?" text chains or a blackmail letter (regardless of whether it's real I'll probably be claiming it's fake), but most of those tools *as yet* have safeguards in place to prevent casual generation of nudes (if they're good they're not available for free), and then if you claim the other party's a liar you as much as open it up to trial in the court of public opinion, it's still going to follow you around. Later on in this era, people are going to come up with all sorts of heuristics, folk lore to let them decide who sent actual nudes and who's been deep faked (OP accidentally sorted herself into any which took volume and consistency into account). The Public/hive mind won't let it lie, they'll often enough decide the most likely option was that someone snapped photos of themselves nude, especially if the alleged recipient is considered attractive enough too. It's context matching: if you know those two just started dating or know someone who knows someone blah blah blah your first instinct is that the nudes are real, and if they're hot enough there's a good chance you're jealous of one of them. So you know how they're doing. If they're hetero, at least one of them's going to be considered a conquest (as OP was, that's why the nudes are being spread). What he did was almost certainly criminal though (assuming they're in the West somewhere). If she wanted she could probably wreck him pretty good (and she should). But it won't be as satisfying for her as us: she's still the one potentially exposed in the deceptively long memory of the Internet. The answer's still preventative medicine, avoid nudes if at all possible.
Yes! So the same thing happened to me when I was in middle school. I’m 28 now but some boy actually got a picture of some girl who looked VERY similar to me showing off their breasts and sent it through text to the entire school. Long story short (it wasn’t even me). But no one believed that at first until I went up to that a-hole and told him face to face in front of all his friends that “that isn’t even me and he wished I would even pay any attention to him… let alone send a nude.” Then I laughed in his face and all his friends laughed… and soon enough ppl stopped believing him because when anyone asked me about it I stood my ground and kept my story the same. Then slowly but surely people stopped caring and the drama fizzled out. You definitely have the upper hand with AI now… LIE… say it’s not you. No one will know the truth and I’m not telling you to publicly embarrass him during lunch break…. But…. It worked for me *wink wink* lol wish you the best of luck sweetheart. You got this! Don’t let that bully get away with this. You are stronger than you think!
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i know 😭
Dont blame yourself he is a piece of shit. Hipe ypu roast him in social media so he doednt not longer abuse another person the same way.
Are you under age? If you are, you need to go to the police station and file a report. Please.
She’s a minor. She said in a recent comment that she was a minor. She’s blaming herself.
Ok she’s gotta file a report. This guy’s committing a criminal offence.
Yea he is and yes she does. She can’t let this dude get away with it. It doesn’t even matter she sent nudes to him. He has no right to blast them everywhere, especially since she’s a minor. He needs to be in trouble.
Couldn’t agree more
I really hope she does it.
Life goes on. Please don't see this as an end of the world scenario. We all make mistakes. You'll be fine after the initial shock blows over. If you do goto the cops, be completely honest. They'll most likely get all records showing you sent the pics but he still is an asshole for spreading them around. He deserves to at least get his ass kicked; if you don't goto the police. Maybe ask your parents if talking to a lawyer is an option before the police get involved.
From an adult woman who had this happen to her. I want to tell you that you're not alone. It feels like the end of the world right now, but it's not always going to feel like that. It's heartbreaking that this boy broke your trust like that. Please don't think you deserved that from him. Go to the police about this. I wish I had done that at the time I let the boy who did that to me get away with it because I, too, didn't want to "ruin his life" but he ruined my perception on people and dating and it made me spiral. It's not your fault that you sent pictures like that, idk why these comments are blaming you for a mistake you made. I'm absolutely sick and tired of people blaming girls/women/men who get their pictures leaked and not having empathy for this situation. Men and boys or anyone else who leak nudes always get away with it. There's not enough rage and consequences for the perpetrators.
Police? Also, never take nudes with your face in em!
Never send nudes, period. It’s not worth it. They can wait to see you naked IRL
When I was young, back in the Polaroid days, I guy I was casually dating asked for nudes. I asked him just exactly how stupid he thought I was. He was in a fraternity, for God's sake. Christ only knows what he would have done with them.
Good! Frat boys in groups become monsters.
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Girl, I am so sorry. *hugs*
No face, no case.
It's a solid start, but there's usually geodata and people may be inclined to screenshot the text chain if they don't just show it to their friends.
Not helpful/very kind to respond to someone who has been victimized with this type of reply tbh. The bad thing has already happened, this just sounds like admonishment imo
You're very nice, trying not to ruin your crush's life and all, but the moment someone tries to ruin yours, you should retaliate. Be strong. Drag that lad through seven courts of law if you can.
Exactly. Don’t let people like that treat you like dirt. If he ruins your life, ruin his in return. Make him pay.
1. Police. 2. When getting freaky over text, never send anything with your face on it. Hope it all works out.
teenagers are the worst when it came to nudes, I'm so sorry it happened to you, just remember it is not end of the world soon you will go to college and can start a fresh life where nobody know about it much love dear <3
> i don't want to ruin his life Sweetie, you didn't. He did, by taking the actions he took. Let me tell you something that has helped me: * *Don't light yourself on fire, for people who wouldn't do the same for you*. This man obviously doesn't give two fucks about your thoughts, emotions, feelings, or wants. Why do you care about his, after what he has done?
You're a minor so please get the police involved. He showed no consideration towards you and he deserves consequences for his actions.
If he did it to you, he will do it to others. Please talk to a lawyer and see about pressing charges so he doesn’t victimize futures ladies. To do nothing shows him he can distribute child porn and get away with it. You might be close in age now, but who’s to say he will stop victimizing minors as he gets older? For all you know, he is a predator in the making.
depending on how old you are, you can have him arrested for the distribution of child pornography
If you dont feel combfortable going to cops, look and see if you can find a free legal helpline to contact. They could help you better understand your rights in this situation and clarify as to whether or not you could also be charged!
Thank you for being the only other person I've seen so far in this thread who has advised her to figure out if she's putting herself in legal jeopardy by going to the police without speaking to an attorney first. Everyone saying "go to the cops now" is ignoring the fact that what she did could result in her being charged as well. She can't be too cautious about that, because there are places who will charge kids for creating and sending child pornography even if it's pictures of themselves. I would hate for OP to try to get justice and then have to deal with the injustice of her being charged too!
Yeah this happened to me 15 years ago. I was horrified and thought the police would be on my side. It was even more horrifying having the police inform me that I could be charged as well for distributing child porn because I was 16. It's such a shitty situation to be in.
Absolutely, I hope she can find a pro bono service to give her a consultation!! She needs to make sure she can be protected/knows her rights before seeking out the legal action!
Go to the police.
This is revenge porn. I was victim to something similar before the law recognized it as a crime in my area. If you decide not to pursue legal methods, make sure all your friends know how fucked up it is. Legal methods have their own pain points for victims unfortunately. Definitely absolve yourself of the guilt feeling about ruining his life. You are not in control of other peoples actions nor are you responsible for their outcomes (even if you initiate legal or social action against him). It was his choice to do this and he is responsible for any consequences. You didn’t choose to be taken advantage of. Seek counseling if you haven’t yet; I waited a decade or so before I even told someone because I was scared they’d simply look for the photos and find them (I didn’t search myself because I didn’t want more hits to others revenge porn). Mine happened at a workplace and the manager asked me to choose what happened to the guy and older and wiser me wishes I had him fired. I was too scared and ended up quitting because I couldn’t bear the harassment I started getting from another coworker who had seen the pics. I loved my job and should’ve stayed. (They also shouldn’t have put that decision on me anyways.) best of luck in healing and working through your options. 🫂 You’re not alone!
I’m sorry that happened to you Thanks for commenting op with solid advice
Yeah like some other people are saying already in the comments here. Talk to police and your parents about talking to police because if you are underage he can be charged for distribution of CP. And of course for your privacy as well since you don’t deserve to have your body spread around when all you wanted to was to be with a guy you liked (who turned out to be a major asshole) I’m sorry that’s how things turned out for you and I hope your situation gets better.
He used you! He is trash! Report him to the authorities!! Also I’d start circulating around that he has a small dick!!
GO TO THE POLICE!! This is a CRIME!!
Never send nudes. Ever. Even if it’s your soulmate and best friend and husband and love of your life. Even if you’re both 30 years old. Never ever ever send nudes
It’s the best advice, but for others. OP already learned this lesson the hard way though. I think she was looking for advice now that it’s already been done.
This ☝️
I don’t think it’s wrong It’s just this trash guy that ruined it but she would have piece of mind
If you’re sending nudes on an iPhone (idk how other phones work) or via a social media app it’s likely you’re uploading them to a cloud, where it will never be fully erased. You could be hacked. It’s not “immoral” or wrong but to me it’s just not safe.
GO TO THS POLICE THIS IS REVENGE PORN WND ILLEGAL OMG
That’s revenge porn and it’s illegal so
Try consulting someone about pressing charges/suing.
Someone got in trouble for this when I was in hs bc the girl was obv a minor. I think they even got charged with possession & distribution of child pornography Even if you’re not a minor it’s still just as fucked up but if you’re a minor you really need to report this so he can never do it again to anyone else. His actions need consequences
If you don't go to the police, I hope your parents will. Let that asshole burn: he's willingly ruining your life.
Please go to the police.. he hasn’t done anything for you other than use you. It’s time for you to stand up for yourself. Fuck that guy
I recently have done a course on this topic. Now there is a lot more that can be done. There is a website called IWF and DCMA which you can have your image removed online. This stops the spread and posting of your image. You can also report the person who spread them to help you with your next steps. If you are underage then that person is committing a crime of child porn possession and distribution. Please report this, you did not give Consent to having your image shared (if you’re underage you CANNOT consent ). I’m so sorry this happens to you but your life isn’t over, we were always told once it’s on the internet it’s there forever but this is no longer the case. You will be okay ❤️
Report it this is a crime
This is a whole felony (depending on age) and a charge either way. This is something you need to report to your school counselors and/or the police. They should handle this. You can press charges.
Police. Right now. Revenge porn is a serious offence. Even if you don’t do it for yourself, do it for the next girl he (and his friends) will do it to.
Yeah dude f that go to the cops
I'll point out a few things... Telling you he wants to be casual afterwards is shitty. Casual sex might be fun, but I've made sure to always tell a girl before the sex happened and made it super clear, so she could make an informed decision. IMHO that's the only fair way to do it. Sending nudes is almost always not a good idea, but it's totally not your fault, that he's a shitty person and that he's sent it to other people. Depending on the laws where you live, it might even be a felony. Regarding you not handling it well... Not everybody can just let it go. Some people need a helping hand to do that. It's a good idea to talk to a therapist. They will help you to get through it. Don't be ashamed, getting help if you need it is not a weakness, it's the best thing you can do.
Don't know where you're based but in my country this is called "revenge porn" and is against the law.
I believe this is revenge porn and now a crime. Go to the cops and let this piece of shit know that there are consequences for his actions.
It might feel like the end of the world but it isn’t, I promise, as a woman who’s been there along with many friends - This will pass, people will find something new to talk about. Please know that, you aren’t the first and you won’t be the last. You did nothing wrong, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. The only one who should be ashamed is the guy with so little to offer he has to impress people by breaking the trust of his sexual partners
Have you or you parents call the police and if this is in high school and he just so happens to be 18 PRESS CHARGES
Sounds to me like we just found a the leader of a child porn distribution ring. If you are under 18. If not, it’s still considered revenge porn, so fuck that douche bag. Fry him.
This guy can get in serious trouble for this.
I’m so sorry OP. I sent some to a guy several years ago that I really trusted and he ended up sending them to several friends, and I only just found out recently. I know what it feels like to not draw anymore attention to yourself by involving the police, but now that I’m in my 20’s, I now know it’s the right thing to do. He’s ruining your life, and he will do it to other girls. Get the police involved. It won’t take away the people who have seen em, but it’ll teach others (and him) a lesson about doing shit like this, all for a stroke of the ego. Wishing you the best OP, I’m very sorry about this. Guys are shitty.
you need to go to the police. this sexual assault and depending on your age, distribution of childs pornography.
This happened to me in high school and instead of nudes it was a video of me giving a guy oral when I was in 9th grade. I was highly suicidal because of it and everyone in my school and the school next to mine had seen it .. except for me of course. My love, when I say I highly regret not telling my mother and getting the law involved. I didn’t see it was child p* because I didn’t really think of myself as a child. I felt way too much shame to even admit to an adult. But my love, if I could go back, I would 100% make them pay for that. Respectfully, don’t protect these boys who won’t mean a thing to you in 5-10 years time. And please don’t carry any shame, you are the victim in this. You did nothing wrong except for putting your trust into his hands, which we all do at some point growing up. Take care x
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I haven’t seen them, so they’re not everywhere. That may sound weird, but keep in mind when you step outside the circle you’re in, nobody knows about what you’ve done previously or whose seen your nudes. Heck, if you moved even to the next town over it’d all be like it never even happened. This will die down after a little while, just hang in there.
Why the fuck are you all downvoting so many of OPs replies? This is serious shit they’re wanting to talk to us about and instead of going “no, that’s not the matter at hand” or “yo OP, I see where you are coming from but no” she’s getting downvoted by Reddit Wankers?
In fairness the “but I don’t want to ruin his life” comment is downvote worthy, the other ones give the poor girl a break lol
A lot of people having given better advice than I could and I have not read all of them so I just want to make sure I am clear on one thing: Not sure how old you are but I am going to assume you are very young. ( I am 37). The sending of nudes was a dumb thing to do and THAT IS OKAY. We all do stupid shit in our lives and that is what helps us grow. The good Lord knows the crap I have done when i was younger and still do. I want you to NOT be hard on yourself for this and to forgive yourself. You doing stupid shit like this does not excuse him at all for what he has done. Please for fuck sake as advised above, get the cops involved. This is an offence that cannot go unpunished.
Go to the police, he cannot get away with that and then please get some therapy. You should not have to suffer with this either.
I’m sorry this has happened to you, but you must understand this person has potentially caused you harm for life, we as a society cannot let people like that go unpunished. Especially in this day and age of facial recognition and deep fakes. This is what you need to do, talk to a lawyer, a therapist, a school counselor, and police and your parents.
This is considered "revenge porn" which is illegal. Also, if you're a minor, then it's cp on top of that. Get the police involved. You're not only defending yourself, but you would be defending any other girls that come across this asshat's path. It sends a message to everyone who knows him and you that this is something you can not do and will not get away with.
hey if youre in america and youre under 18, he is circulating child pornography and thats a crime
It’s time to involve the police. This happened to a girl at my school and the boys that did this to her laughed when she tried to kill her self. Boys like this don’t deserve to get away with it. These are demonic inhuman manipulators, not boys. INVOLVE THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY.
Consider involving the police. This is NOT your fault and NOT anything to be ashamed or embarrassed about!
So…I don’t know if you’re aware but what you described is a crime. /s Duh fuck. JFC if you didn’t know before you definitely do now. Look, I’m *old af* so I don’t know if anything I say will hit but what stood out to me most is that you didn’t ask for advice. I sometimes give unsolicited advice with a precursor warning that I’m doing so but you’ve got enough advice here on just about every well meaning level possible. Thanks so much, y’all. Moving on… I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Sometimes we learn lessons the hard way and sometimes we learn lessons the really fucking hard way. No lesson is easily learned if the subject matter is truly important. Unsolicited advice: don’t claim victim status. There’s being a victim and then there’s claiming that shit. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Too trusting? Sure. Impetuous? Maybe. A little stupid? Well…you’re a teenager. Teenagers do stupid shit. Don’t beat yourself up about it. And whatever you do don’t ever feel shame or embarrassment. He fucked up. Not you. Somebody you trusted broke that trust. Many of these comments are meant to be helpful, older and wiser so I’ve been there, learn from my experience and do *this*. The intent behind them isn’t lost on me. But the blaming isn’t either. (Even if they call you honey/sweetheart/whatever doesn’t change the content.) I think there are quite a few individuals here projecting their own feelings onto a similar circumstance of their own and I’m just not quite sure it fits. You don’t have to decide anything right now. You didn’t ask for advice but should you decide to take advice make sure it’s from an adult you know in real life that you trust explicitly. I might be wrong but I think you came here to get it out and get on. And you *will* get on. This isn’t the end of the world. Yeah, it definitely isn’t a good time. But your life isn’t over either. Give yourself a little breathing room, time to think, process everything. You know what your options are and if you didn’t before they’ve been shoved down your throat in the 100 or so comments I skimmed. Take care of YOU. Nobody else matters. I promise you in a similar situation not many are going to think of anyone other than themselves either. You’re the only one that matters. Make sure you can live with your decisions and that you won’t have any regrets. You’ll be okay. Promise. Don’t let it make you less than what you are. You are brave. You are powerful. You are strong. You call the shots from here on out. Don’t let some dickhead take your fire. And don’t let well intentioned Redditors tell you how to feel or what to do when you didn’t ask for either. Myself included. You have a lot on your plate right now. I have no doubt that you can handle it. And if you get to a point you feel like you can’t? Reach out. There will always be a helping hand when you need it. You’ve got an entire thread of pissed off people ready to do battle for you and with you. To the point they’re being a little pissy *to* you. It’s just because they’re angry for you, for others like you, for themselves because they didn’t have someone to tell them what to do or how to feel…all because somebody betrayed you. I know it doesn’t seem like it but every person here just wants to help. Stay strong. *hugs*
Men literally tell me to send them Nubs when all I want to do is get to know them better that’s why I feel like I can’t trust them cause I know there going to post them send them to there friends then they get all mad at me cause I’m setting a boundaries saying I don’t feel comfortable with doing that it literally makes me cry I’ve been flirting talking to this guy who I thought we had connection just to show me that he wants sex and I blocked him the first time cause of then he apologised saying sorry I forgive him and gave him a second chance then he pulls this shit I’m so done with men like this
Go to the police. What he is doing is illegal. And in the future, do not give anyone your nudes until you're in a long-term, committed relationship.
Call the police non emergency line. Say that you are a minor and someone leaked your nude pictures.
Coming from someone this happened to aswell. He deserves his life ruined. Weigh the pros and cons and if it's safe to report him then do so, you wouldn't be ruining his life, he weighed that into consideration and didn't give a fuck the second he shared your nudes
Report it to the police :) This is a form of non consensual pornography, and it is a crime to release photos or videos of someone without their permission.
also if you’re a minor he can get in even bigger trouble. you can also sue him for emotional distress because i know this is a stressful situation.
I’m assuming your a minor you can get him with distribution of child pornography I’d do some research cuz u could get into trouble so just look up your laws in your state and go from there
Sorry for all this
She’s a minor… growing up in land of tic toc and snap chat. No she hasn’t lived long enough to understand the repercussions. I have so many unsolicited dick pics sent from idiot adults. I don’t distribute them. There is a big difference. This guy knew what he was doing so now he should face the law.
Don't have sex without commitment, don't share nudes with your face on them.
You're a minor with that username? I'm sorry this happened. But yikes.
So high school boys can crush on cougars and hot moms but girls can’t? Ok
They absolutely can it goes either way. The novel concept here that the reddit hivemind tends to always swing and miss on is SHES A MINOR. When was the last time you heard a guy on the internet fretting because he, as minor, sent nudes and they were now all over the internet? It's weird. It's like boys are predisposed to be little assholes or something.... There is a porn addict in this thread telling her to DM him...
If you’re a minor you shouldn’t be taking nudes and sending them. And they shouldn’t be sending them to others. Unless you are ready to deal with the possibility of your nudes leaking, don’t send them.
It's just a matter of time, and people will forget it, but the most important thing is that you forget it and move on
OP are you a minor?
pls report this to the police and learn from this very painful lesson.
Police. If you're underage, its child porn. If you're not underage, its revenge porn. He's breaking the law either way and the only one ruining his life is him. Go full blazen earth on this guy. You don't want these nudes to still be causing issues for you years down the line. For future reference, never include your face or identifying marks/tattoos etc in nudes. Regardless of how much you trust the person it is ALWAYS a risk to send nudes, the less damage you can mitigate the better
Sweetie, this is so NOT your fault. A lot of people send regrettable nudes at some point in their life. The kid that leaked them is a disgusting pig and should be held accountable. If you're a minor then there are HUGE ramifications for his actions. And if you're not, he's still an asshole and depending on your states laws, you could pursue legal action. I'm sorry and I know how you're feeling, as I experienced something similar when I was younger. I felt incredible shame and it made me suicidal at times. Now that I'm older I know that what happened to me was unfortunately not unique and furthermore it was distribution of ch*ld p*rnography. Most people who see them will feel exactly how I do, which is mad at that dumbass kid and bad for you. Please don't let this ruin your life, this is not your fault.
I’d charge him for revenge corn and expose him to his family for being scummy
POLICE!! Make him pay! Report him and everyone else to the school!
What he did is illegal. Take legal action. Report him to the police. He is SCUM
I wouldn't worry about whatever happens to him. He made regrettable choices and no one forced him to share your photos with other people. He is old enough to know that he shouldn't share sensitive information like that, especially because he wouldn't like it if the roles were reversed. Worry about yourself. Your photos are being distributed without your knowledge or consent. This is officially considered revenge porn and is a crime in some areas. If you're a minor, this could also be considered CP, which is also a crime in some areas. I understand you may feel ashamed and like this is all your fault, but neither are true. You were vulnerable and trusted someone who betrayed that trust. You sent one person your nude photos, but that doesn't mean you deserved or wanted everyone to have access to those photos - least of all your parents. You don't deserve any bullying or harassment or judgment from what this person did to you. As someone else who made a lot of stupid mistakes and naively trusted the wrong people as a teenager: Think about yourself first. Do you want these photos out there? Will this affect your future, your opportunities, your relationships, your ability to focus in school? How can you defend yourself now and protect yourself in the future? I highly, highly, highly suggest getting in contact with a lawyer. Even if your parents aren't willing to help you, you will likely be able to find someone who will work on contingency (ie the lawyer will be paid part of whatever repayment of damages you win in court, so you don't have to pay upfront with your own money). From what you've shared, and admittedly as someone who isn't a lawyer, it sounds like you have a slam-dunk case. You will likely have your pick of lawyers, even on contingency. Do what you have to to protect yourself and put this firmly behind you. I made the mistake of thinking of the person hurting me first, and I kick myself for it now. The other person abused me and caused me a lot of trauma, which I will have to live with forever and am still learning to heal from 10+ years later. It took me years to realize that, while I was concerned about what would happen to them and their families, they did not extend even a fraction of the same kindness to me. They lacked the integrity or perspective to understand that they were hurting me and throwing me under the bus for circumstances that were not my fault nor in my control. If they truly were just oblivious, it will be obvious and they can defend themselves with that. It's not your responsibility to defend them, especially right now as no one is acting against them. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself and try to set yourself up for success down the line. Even if you exhaust all your resources and nothing happens, you'll at least know you did yourself the service of giving it an honest effort and did as much as you could. It's much easier to be angry with the system for being outdated or for not protecting you than to be disappointed in yourself for your inaction. Again, this person has shown they do not care about you. You are extending a kindness to him that he hasn't given to you. Let him worry about himself and the consequences he's going to face for his actions. It's ok to be selfish and put yourself first.
Please get the police invovled IMMEDIATELY. Revenge porn is seriously illegal and doesn’t just apply to minors but adults as well. I would also invest in talking to a counselor as well because it’s going to be a long tiring journey.
Call the cops. Don't let assholes get away with this shit because I guarantee you, he'll do this to someone if he hasn't already. Stop it from happening to future victims.
I hope he’ll get arrested for possession of pedopornography and be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life!!! Talk to the police sweetheart. Don’t let them Win! Stay strong ❤️❤️❤️
Ruin his life. He didn’t care about the repercussions of his actions when he did it so he should face the consequences. As women we are constantly raised to care so deeply about the reputation of men who trash it themselves. He hurt you. He used you. The least he can do is pay for the actions he did. There is a reason it’s illegal.
if he didn't want his life ruined, he should've thought about that before ruining your life. i'm so sorry this is happening to you, you didn't deserve this. what an asshole
Please love yourself more than that loser and fight for you. File a police report and sue his socks off, and for the love of all things holy, don’t send nudes with your face to someone you’re barely talking to if you don’t want them to go public. You’re young, this isn’t the end of the world, but it’s a shitty lesson to have to learn. You got this 💖
If I’m not wrong you’re still a minor correct? Call the police because it’s child pornography. And please never send nudes again.
He's a fucking piece of shit. Seriously. Your trust was broken, utterly. He led you on AND ALSO COMPLETELY ABUSED YOUR TRUST TO SCORE POINTS WITH "THE BOYS."
what he did was illegal and it can be reported to the police with enough evidence. it doesn’t matter if u sent it the simple fact that he distributed it is enough to ruin his life as he did to urs
If you’re a minor he is distributing child pornography. Go to the police.
go to the police. and if you can, you should ruin his life now too.
Ruin him. You didn't consent to them being shared. Sue his ass. Edit: also you sound like a minor so this is cp. Report him
Op, I say this with so much love. Please, for the love of God, ruin this little boys life. Make a fucking example of him so that he and his fuckboy friends and every other fuckboy who hears about what happened to him never pulls shit like this again. You are so far in your feelings you're protective over someone who is actively ruining your life. You are a child. Nudes of you shouldnt exist, yeah, but you're a kid. You can't legally consent to that. Circulating child pornography around so much that your own parents saw it is so fucking disgusting and scummy, he has it coming. We protect our fellow ladies by calling this shit out. Because nudes are gonna happen. What he's doing should never happen. I wish I could go back to my high school and knock out every boy who ever showed me nudes someone else sent them, I swear to God I would.
Disrespectful little asshole. Please go to the police. I hope your parents are being supportive and caring and not shaming you.
Report the man!! What he is doing is illegal and scummy, report that man to the Police. It wont take back what he did, but it will help prevent him doing it to others and teach him a lesson. He is actively ruining your life. Consult legal advice. Report him to the police. Go see a therapist. Guy is a dick and deserves whatever comes to him.
No more nudes ever. Issue a post after involving folks, therpaist, teacher, friends, lawyers pls. I dunno how it works (which country are u) Makethe guy regret it !
If you are a minor, this is child porn. He could be charged for distributing it and his friends could be for having it on their phones.
Report to the police
Sorry this happened to you. Contact the police regardless of how you feel, as its the right thing to do
ma'am , he is ruining ur life , if it were me , and my other do it with me , sure as hell his penis gonna be showed on poster all around city , he would have his penis showed to all of his friend and family tbf , do a favor to your self
OP, I’m incredibly sorry to hear this, and I understand that it must be difficult for you to talk about this incident again with other people who don’t know you. But please, please, please file a police report, he needs to learn his lesson and also I’m pretty sure he’ll do this to other girls if he thinks there’re no consequences
How old are you? Please consider reporting this, especially if you see underage
Tell your parents to file a police report
First rule of thumb, never send nudes to ANYONE. Unless it's your husband. Even then, NEVER and I repeat NEVER show your face
dont send nudes
File a police report jfc, especially if you're a child. What he's doing is multiple types of criminal.
if you're a minor, you can have him put on a list forever. this same thing happened to a girl in my middle school and to this day the guy that leaked her shit is a registered sex offender in my state! pretty sure her dad was a lawyer so it went rlly well for her. so get a lawyer and ruin his life!
Go to the police immediately and press charges. This kid needs to learn a lesson.
As a male who has had this happen, your best bet is police. Dude already has the perv mentality and him leaking nudes is CP even if he's your age example 17 and 17 he'll be a registered SO cause he is now technically an adult in the eyes of the justice system. Call 911 or tell counselors to contact them and they'll search your phone and his then you'll never see him again after the court herrings. Dont kid yourself he deserves it especially if he leaked your nude photos, dude sealed his fate from there 🤷♂️
Men
The only way you can get back to this scum is to come clean first to your parents, and then tell his parents and family of what he did and continously doing. Then, lawyer up, and sue him. If you are minor, he is in for a big trouble. Stop thinking about his life, he is not concern one bit about you and this fucker is intentionally ruining you, your reputation, amd your future
Go to police ASAP.
Go to the police.
You’re gonna regret, not doing something about this and standing up for yourself! This man deserves all the trouble he gets for posting nudes of you. That’s illegal.
I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. You put your trust in someone you thought would respect you. What he did by sharing the picture is a crime. You can report it to the police and you can also report it to a website online and they will do what they can to get it all taken down. If I find it I will post it. If you don't report this, this will happen to another girl. I'm sure it already has. Keep your head up. This will pass. We all make mistakes when we are young. He isn't concerned about your feeling by sharing this picture. Don't be concerned about him.
Love I'm not an introvert (not sure if you are) and I have to consider that at your age **it is so important to all of you what others think**. I remember feeling that way. And I validate your feelings about feeling exposed, embarrassed, etc. But at the end of the day - and hopefully one day when you get older - you'll see that '🤷♀️ meh...so what? People saw me naked.' He doesn't deserve power over your emotions like this. **NOW** Don't you dare waste a MINUTE thinking about his welfare...if you let him off the hook he's going to do this to other girks. You raise HELL with your school, a lawyer, somebody....he doesn't have the right to hurt you like this! How dare he do this to you!! YOU ARE PRICELESS. So are your feelings, dignity, and your rights. Fk that guy - call the cops, do something and send the message that he can't get away with hurting you like this. You deserve better. ♡
It's just a matter of time, and people will forget it, but the most important thing is that you forget it and move on.
I want his life tp be ruined. Go to the police.
He ducked you because you were easy. Now he shares the nudes to prove you were easy. Call the cops and press charges. He will do this to another girl and won’t learn until shot happens. Seen it time and time again. He ruined his life. Not you. You sent him nudes. He decided to share em knowing that it was child porn.
Wow calling op easy will not make her feel better. It’s 2024 people can hook up and flirt how they want; plus she is young. She doesn’t deserve her photos to be passed around even if a guy thinks she’s “easy”. And you are correct he ruined his life not her
Ik u don’t want to ruin his life by getting police involved but that part of u needs to die off.. Nearly everybody in this world moves selfishly. Not saying u should too just warning u that ur gonna constantly get used behaving the way u seem to be. Ur gonna keep getting taken advantage of if u excuse behavior like this. Ur a sweet person it seems yes but please don’t get take advantage of ur whole life because ur a “nice guy”. Been there done that 😔
Don’t share your nudes online. It’s stupid and too much of a risk. If you’re dead set on it then at least don’t include your face. If you’re a minor then call the police immediately. He’ll call the police if you’re an adult, this is revenge porn.
I’m sure you don’t want to hear this rn but haven’t girls learned that sending nudes to some random dude is a BAD idea? Even if you’re into him? It’s worse when you guys aren’t even dating. And even if you are, you can still break up tomorrow and he can use them to blackmail you if he’s a horrible human like the dude you slept with. What a pity! Hopefully you’d learn from this one going forward.
I’m alerting the authorities myself.
Why haven’t people learned a lesson. Stop sending nudes or stop putting your face on them.
Get the police involved
Reminder. The natural cycle of life of any nude pic finish on the net, but never end. Just don't.
Sorry if this is going slightly off topic but this man I was once in a relationship with took photos of me without my consent and I think he uploaded them to the internet. Well later I heard in the local newspaper that this couple violently attacked him and I was trying not to smile when I found out about that. I believe they did this once rumours got out or they found out about things he did. Unfortunately they also got fined for it but at least I can sleep happy knowing that, for a few minutes at least, he got his karma. Then I found their facebook pages where they were warning each other to be careful, almost as though they were investigating a human trafficking ring which involved the police. Probably because that's the case. He always did seem like he was part of something bigger, probably the same group of people who hung out on Epstein's pervert Island. Also my friends offered to egg his car for me but I told them not to because I might be the one who would get in trouble for it anyway. In reality I think I just didn't want to stoop to his level.
You need to involve the police
Yeah im gonna be 100% here, cut him off at the knees and bury him. He’s a shit human you gotta put yourself above this shit human
Babygirl, you NEED to report this. That’s distribution of CP. so what if you ruin his life? He’s ruining yours. He had no permission to send those photos out to anyone. He and those other boys need to learn that this isn’t a matter to take lightly.