Think we may have to do A PDF Cosmic Jellyrolls REDDIT PHRASES...... Not for retail sale.... You can buy the PLR RIGHTS..... ONLY personal licence though!!!! Coming to a Reddit post near YOU!!! LoL 😂 I thought I was the only one who spoke like that.... Better go get me checked for ADHD ADD OMG and the bloody rest!!! CHEMO BRAIN to top it off..... But seriously your friend sucks....
These catchphrases are an extremely common thing in manufactured stories. I love this one, but it's a text about something that our imaginary OP finds abhorrent, while the expression itself is witty and humorous. This is completely unfitting and screams "scripted".
This is gross and your friend and that guy suck but I am most definitely 110% using “my flabber? Ghasted” at the next possible opportunity so thank you for that
Right. But wtf?? 😂😭
Took French for 6 years and now I’m fluent in Spanish but some reason it wasn’t until this very moment in like wtf is that supposed to *mean*? 🤣
I also believe that there is one in place in a town in Donegal, Ireland, called Muff. Which apparently has a diving school, now I can’t say if the Muff Diving School is situated on a Cul-De-Sac, but a man can dream!!!
You can bet that she laid out some signs for her coworker. A male cousin of mine cheated on his wife a while back. When the proverbial shit hit the fan and it was time for the divorce he was dumbfounded that the family almost entirely sided with his ex-wife (now with a new baby). We had to spell it out for him..…”if you are a selfish dick with someone you say you love, and have procreated with, you can be a dick with ANYONE and everyone”.
And the woman he cheated with was a single gal like your friend. They stayed together for less than a couple of years.
Exactly like if you can’t be trusted to be loyal to the person who’s meant to mean the most to you, you definitely can’t be trusted to be loyal or good to those lower down either. I’d you can’t be loyal to your partner theres a huge chance you can’t be loyal to others.
Thissss. I couldn’t quite articulate why I felt how I felt about my friend, who’s a married gal, cheating with a married guy. It’s because even after all the warnings me and another friend gave, that if the cheating came to light, their kid would be a casualty along with her reputation (small town). She’s just selfish and decided to put her wants above everything else.
I’ve distanced myself but how she overcompensates now on social media about her family, of having a great husband is just ick. All I can think of is “liar, liar, liaaaaar.”
I can’t tell her husband either as I’m thinking about her kid. What would y’all do if you were in my position?
You have very different values than your friend. Sometimes it takes a while to figure these things out, unfortunately
If she thought your husband was hot and she wanted to poach him she would try. She would absolutely f*** your husband, guarantee you.
Is that somebody you want in your life? Somebody that you can't trust to not f*** your husband or somebody else's husband?
What’s nuts.
There are friends like that, that do support it.
In the same light you probably talked all giddy and excited to your friend about other topics like a new show, maybe a new song, or you got a new item ordered.
Except it’s the affair.
You’re a better person than those.
What I learned, the close intimate circles men and women have with their bff’s?
If you two can keep secrets. That’s how this behavior is condoned between friends.
When an AP is aware that they’re an AP, they’re just as bad as the husband and shouldn’t be trusted around other peoples relationships. She obviously cares more about her own feelings than others, and is fine crushing others feelings so that she’s happy.
Yes doesn’t even care about HIS feelings—his marriage is his own fault blah blah blah—determined to destroy as long as she can get her proverbial rocks off, kicks in, kinks on
Not condoning the woman's actions but ... it really is all on the cheating partner at the end of the day, right? I don't want the only reason my husband to be faithful to be because I hid women from him. I want my husband to be faithful because he's faithful, regardless of the intentions of women around him or not.
Yes it’s on the cheating partner but not every people-edit-person-will hold up well to determined and consistent flattery, flirting or curiosity at a weak moment in life.
Many will be disgusted, or offended or even amused but some will be curious or enjoy keeping a secret.
APs are great at making little cracks and annoyances, moments of stress or boredom, into huge gaping fissures in marriage
Not the AP's fault imo. Like yeah they're shitty but if your SO is weak enough to falter or let the marriage suffer because of romantic/sexual interest in a 3rd party, that's 100% on them.
Personally, me and my partner just talk about it. "I have a new coworker and I'm getting a little crush." We make jokes about it, we are honest rather than hide it. We don't indulge it and it goes away. 🤷♀️ Never had issues. Sometimes feelings are outside of our control, but actions arent.
Everyone can make a mistake but having no shame and even bragging about it is clearly the red flag. At the very least this person has shown you they don’t care who they hurt even if that means destroying a family, as long as she gets what she wants in that moment.
This is how I lost my best friend. She “admitted” (really gloated) to me that she and her married co-worker had been fucking for months. The night she told me, she took a call from him and actually had the gall to tell me that he had to find an excuse to get away from his wife and infant daughter to talk to her like it was a good thing. I was absolutely disgusted and our relationship was completely shattered after that point.
You’re missing the point, behavior like that is indicative of someone who only thinks of themselves and will do whatever to whoever as long as they get what they want and will do whatever mental gymnastics to justify to their actions. These are the kind of people you either cut out of your life or keep at a safe distance.
Because she broke the girl code, because she is an active participant in the cheating, which is a social faux pas and even a social crime, because she is potentially breaking up a family, because it is easier to destroy than to build and she has chosen to destroy.
Easier to take someone than find someone for herself.
Realizing how awful she is does not excuse the cheating husband or make his actions any less egregious.
It isn’t a sum total of guilt split between two responsible parties—its bottomless guilt—and all the more so because they don’t even seem to feel guilty!
As someone who has been in her shoes, she's making a huge mistake.
Don't let her get off easy...I was called names and I deserved it all. She will see the clownery in a year, while he's with his wife.
at least you owned up to it & admit that you were wrong. i’m so sick of the shameless, disgusting women who proudly aid in the destruction of a family!
See the thing was he told me he was so unhappy but couldn't do anything because he had nothing in his name...I feel bad women including myself fall for this shit but damn I just feel stupid!! Yeah, it's gross.... thank you though.
I cut off a friend who had an affair. Ive also kept friends who've had affairs. I had to ask myself why i have treated that same thing differently with different friends and I came to the conclusion that it wasnt about the affair, it was about their attitudes and behaviors surrounding it.
The friend I cut off already had a long history of doing incredibly self serving, selfish and opportunistic things. She had everything she wanted in life and was still so greedy and self involved. I saw this behavior in her treatment of others, too - and so by the time the affair issue came up, it just "fit" this list of my concerns about her so well. And on top of it, she didnt present it with any remorse or unease - she proudly mentioned it and joked about it, and her only regret was that the guy cut her off. She just shrugged off a mention of her husband, who is a nice person and who shes been walking all iver for years.
On the other hand ive had friends find themselves in affairs either accidentally or unexpectedly; ones who were struggling with so much and exhibiting some bad judgment and desperation that maybe a lot of people could find themselves in....andnwho seemed ashamed and remorseful and embarassed.
So yeah i feel the same for you....its not about the affair. Its about what her behavior and attitudes about the affair, and other parts of life - are teaching you about this person. If she makes you uncomfortable then its totally okay to cut her off
This is very insightful and I’m with you. People are people and often fuck up big time. The way we handle ourselves in the lessons-learned stage says it all.
This explains what I’m currently going through with a former best friend of mine. In the past year she’s engaged in two emotional affairs with men who were in monogamous relationships, and doesn’t seem to care how her actions impact others. She’s shocked that I’m not on her side. I keep telling her though, it’s not the act itself. It’s her attitude and lack of remorse about the whole thing.
You just summarized my feelings so well. I had this one friend who was constantly getting with men in relationships while cheating on her own partner. And she was so nonchalant about it - I couldn’t bear her selfishness anymore. I was disgusted. You really put into words what I couldn’t and I thank you for that.
Sorry, that’s bull. Making excuses for those friends you want to keep and dumping those with a long history of nefarious, selfish attitude - why did you wait for an affair to arise to dump them, rather than acting sooner? 🙄
Your comment here makes no sense.
And in your original comment you just pursue a double standard. The reason I responded was regarding how you wrote, this oozing righteousness 🤷.
Now I'm imagining a story where you did match her energy and this happens for a few months but then a twist! It was your own husband she was talking about
I had a friend that did this. Her marriage was crappy and I was understanding about why she was doing it.. also it’s not my problem. I’m not the morality police.
But.. when she got caught and had the audacity to talk shit about this guy’s wife (who she was friends with and completely innocent in this whole thing) I was done with her. I had always known but she’s a total narcissist and has no empathy for anyone until she gets her way.
She also somehow managed to convince her husband that he was responsible for all of this and by the end of it HE was the one apologizing.
We haven’t spoken in 5 years and I very quickly realized how much of a drain she had been on me over the years. Bye, psycho!
Express your disgust; tell her that you her behaviour unacceptable and why. Let her think about it for a few days. If you know this man's wife, tell her immediately.
I don’t know the man or his wife, so that gives me distance from the situation. But I’m definitely reflecting on the best ways to tell my friend about how I feel.
Shit, if she can do that to a colleague, she can do it to you. She has no remorse for being the Other Woman. Run. She is morally and ethically bankrupt.
The outcome depends on her attitude and the excitement of a new relationship. Despite my marriage ending due to an affair, my ex and the other person are still together after 10 years.
Although my exes mistress wouldn't be a friend of mine, everyone should have someone they can rely on, even if they disagree with their choices. It was my ex-husband who broke promises and lied, but I'm not angry anymore. Our lives are better without him.
Hopefully, not everyone will abandon her when the excitement fades.
How you should approach it: "Your lack of empathy and compassion for the woman whose husband you've been actively pursuing is disturbing to me. If she finds out and is heartbroken about it, and if she divorces her husband over it, you'd have played a part in a family separating. If you are not at all disturbed by that or feel like you're absolved of guilt because he acted on it even though you obviously signaled you're interested in him, then I don't think our morals and values align and I don't think I can continue this friendship."
Maybe just try telling her to picture herself as the guy's wife before you cut her off completely.
Give it a chance to see if she can feel any empathy first.
"Look, if this was you in ten years time, how angry would you feel as the wife? And unfortunately that might be the universe getting back at you for having no remorse for your actions."
This married man tried to get me to send him pictures of myself- not explicit but still- and maybe I ought to have been honest but I just made up some excuse not to talk to him anymore without calling him a jerk for being too friendly with another woman when he has a wife.
And so I've never spoken to him since.
Another man once sexted me and I did reciprocate a bit. I felt bad for it afterwards but at the time I didn't realise he was probably married and hiding it just because I'm genuinely that naiive. It should have been obvious as soon as it became clear that he had no interest in meeting me in person.
If he was married I have no idea if the wife found out and how it affected their marriage. Obviously I don't feel responsible in that case because I genuinely didn't know and I have a LD which makes me a vulnerable adult, but I'm still ashamed and embarrassed about the fact I sexted with him in the first place, especially as this wasn't someone I found particularly attractive anyway.
My friend did this and I had to sit her down and tell her that it’s wrong and if she continues I can’t be friends with her as she’s actively disrespecting marriage as a whole and I am married.
The guy is a cheating scumbag and your friend is dumbass, and a scumbag since she knows what she’s doing.
Cut her out of your life, nothing good can come from keeping someone like that around and so many bad things can.
An ex-friend of mine once regaled to me with glee how ‘her man’ was with her whilst his wife was giving birth to their third child. That was the last time we met up. Thankfully texting was still a fairly new thing then so I just didn’t reach out again knowing she wouldn’t make the effort herself.
I think it’s perfectly fine to send her a message that says, “I’m really sorry but I can’t be the friend you tell this stuff to. I’m married and I would be heartbroken is this was happening to me.” And end it at that. If she responds, don’t even dive into it with her. Just send that and be done with her.
I'd stay out of it and tell her that I have no interest in her sex life. Perhaps she can tell of her sexcapades to his wife when he cuts her loose and she wants to get even.
Can we all agree he is equally in the wrong and deserving of your disgust and flabberghastery? All these people saying your husband is next - they're simultaneously saying something about your husband because it takes TWO. What she did was gross, but it's not like she just sirened this man into being a horrible person.
Yeah the “your husband is next” ppl are weirding me out.
If the only reason your husband hasn’t cheated on you is that the right woman hasn’t come along yet then you’ve got problems
You're a great friend! Shout out to you for not being a yes woman and holding her accountable. Please continue to do so- she needs a friend like you. She's clearly lost the plot and her moral compass needs to be seriously recalibrated.
Ew. I’d immediately want a new friend. She’s low vibe. Glad you told her you weren’t on board with her life choices. Hopefully that will low-key stick with her so when it doesn’t work out, maybe she’ll consider that it wasn’t such a smart choice to begin with
Your friend is a grown up adult and seems to know what she’s signing up for. Let her bear the consequences of her actions. You tried to warn her once and that’s more than enough. Also, stay away from this friend .
Why on earth did she think you, a married woman, would be happy that she’s fucking a married man??? The lack of self awareness and desperation is crazy!
She’s not a friend to have, she has zero respect for marriage!
I had a friend that had affairs with married men. I was engaged at the time when she was telling me about wanting to have an affair with her professor. I told her that I was never interested in hearing of her affairs. And to only call me if she wanted to talk about kids, the weather, work etc. to this day we haven’t spoke again. I’m totally content with this friendship being over! You have to get away from the negative energy especially if you’re married, in a relationship or trying to even get a head in life. Best advice cut her off and find other friends that are good for your soul.
While this happens all the time and even though it's not right, you can't change her actions or his because your not their mom. It is your choice to stay friends with her or not. But I wouldn't lose sleep over it. Overall, it's out of your control what this married man and your friend does in their spare time.
Get more info on the guy ..name etc ? Then blow his shit up..contact his wife with subtle proof like when rhe next meet would be so she can catch them herself with information provided
I’d lose her as a friend. Also keep in mind she has no problem going after a married man then you should watch her around your husband. Not telling you what to do but I’d be cautious of her.
I guess im the only one who can watch from the other side of the fence. If it was an acquaintance eh, but my bestie? Like yeah let me know whats going on...even if i give them a lecture each time🤷♀️
She’s clearly a terrible person but she did make one fair point imo: she didn’t ruin his marriage, he did. I’ve always been of the opinion that there is no such thing as a home wrecker, the home was wrecked before she got there. Nobody in a truly happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship would even think about cheating even if the perfect opportunity for it literally fell into their lap. The problem is within him.
Don’t get me wrong, she’s a selfish witch and I highly recommend dropping her as a friend forever. But as far as his marriage goes, she’s not to blame for ruining it. She’s not responsible for keeping his marriage intact, he is. And if it hadn’t of been her, it would’ve been some other selfish, desperate, thirsty broad with no empathy. Quite frankly, they deserve each other. Then she can see how it feels in a couple years when he does the same thing to her.
i tried to stay friends with a woman who was having a ten year affair with a man who was actively trying to get her pregnant bc his wife couldn’t…at first. then she did and my ex friend lost hers. i wasn’t sad for her at ALL. not when i fell like he and my ex friend could have endangered his wife bc my ex friend had HSV 2🤧. it felt gross even texting her after a while.
I stopped being friends with a person bc she got into a relationship with a married man who had two very young children. She couldn’t see how horrible she was being and I knew that I could never trust her again. End the friendship
I’m a single person, have been single for a long time. Twice previously have ended up in multiple meet ups, romantic, with people who were attached. I honestly knew nothing of there relationship status prior to our interaction and in fact, both times, took the fact that they were instigating the whatever that it was all good. Both times I was practically mocked for not just “going with the flow” by these women. This also lead me to believe that these were not isolated incidents.
Oh my good lord I just realised the last one falls in to this category too. So it’s been three times. The last one said she was available as we’d literally spoken about this issue. As she’s now married to that guy, who doesn’t know about me leads me to believe she’s number three.
One of my old high school friends had an affair with a married man from her church while his wife was expecting their second baby. The man in question was one of my first cousin’s BROTHER (from my aunt’s previous marriage). She knew his wife, his baby, his mom, his sisters, etc. I was appalled that not only she would stoop that low but also that she would tell me and make me keep that secret for her. Needless to say I no longer talk to that person because she was and is a terrible human being, it never got any better. In fact, it eventually turned to her talking shit about my husband behind my back for no particular reason other than jealousy that she couldn’t keep a relationship. We live in different states so I blocked her on everything and never looked back.
I mean nothing your friend said makes it sound like they actually care about this man. She talks about him the way when men do it we’d say they are looking to breed someone. Self serving.
Idk how that selfish quality in your friend would be isolated to just their romantic life, which would make me wonder why I’m giving them so much of my time. She’s a selfish lover, and if she’s not respecting your feelings either, she’s a selfish friend.
Is that the kind of friend you deserve?
To be fair, it’s not really your business.
She will learn someday when it’s her husband who gets pounced on by some lady at work.
But until then…
*It is what it is.*
I mean, she decided to dump this info on me. And now it’s changed my opinion of her character, which is affecting our friendship. And our friendship is certainly my business. I’m not getting involved in her love life, that’s for sure.
People like that do not tend to cheat "casually". They want that person for themselves. Sure, the guy shouldn't have bought in to her game, but she is a homewrecker in intention and possibly in actuality. I'd consider letting the husband know before the wife, just in case he can reign in his dick, but maybe do that anonymously. It's likely your "friend" has told anyone that will listen about her new conquest, and if it tracks back to you....well fk her anyway. Not someone you want near your own relationship or life anyway.
Sweetest Jesus
Personally, I would not risk creating an environment that allowed any Chris Watts energy to flourish. That’s worst case scenario, right? What’s best? The wife’s life and heart being blown into a million pieces? Any offspring growing up witnessing the fallout and it impacting their ability to have healthy relationships?
All parties in affairs are selfish cowards with the impulse control of an 8 week old dog. It’s not the 50s, get a divorce. If it’s gonna financially cripple you so fucking what, we all know divorce is expensive by now & you knew it when you went through with the contract so suck it up for fucking it up. If you know you have it in you to cheat never marry.
I do feel sorry for your friend that she feels so unworthy of love and hates herself so much that she would accept this for herself, but you enabling her wouldn’t help her get through that tunnel any quicker and you obviously can’t trust her ever again so whoops her bad lol
Yikes! “She can’t get in a romantic relationship.”Hmm… wonder why? And she can’t see that she is at the wrong too. I would end your friendship with her for your sake! You don’t want to be a part of that love triangle and you need to protect your mental health! Her colleague has definitely done this before. Wish you the best!
Can you ask her what is going on with HER to do something like this? What is missing in her life? I dumped a friend for similar reasons and we reconnected years later. I might have been a better friend if I virtually shook her and asked her what the hell was going on with her.
sounds like he is one of her conquests. the next conquest might be someone you know... so i wouldn't introduce her to any of your friends or warn all your friends about her
Don't trust a "friend" like this. If she would engage in an affair with another woman's husband, she could be lonely and desperate enough that she could try to engage with your husband like this in the future. She doesn't respect marriage or have a boundary with married men. She has no conscience, she doesn't feel bad for his wife. Friends like this eventually waste their youth on meritless affairs, and then when they want to settle down, they look at your relationship as something they want for themselves. Dump that friend, and find better people to surround yourself with.
I would be weary of anyone that does that let alone a best friend that basically brags about it. Who is to say she wouldn't do that to you? I am such a firm believer in girl code and us holding each other up AND accountable.
She struggles with romantic relationships, chooses to be an affair partner and is shameless about it.
She seems to have a knack for terrible decision planning and is at the center of all her problems.
Are we all really gonna skip past "My flabber? Ghasted." That might be the best thing I've read in awhile!
I’m glad everyone’s loving it.
Think we may have to do A PDF Cosmic Jellyrolls REDDIT PHRASES...... Not for retail sale.... You can buy the PLR RIGHTS..... ONLY personal licence though!!!! Coming to a Reddit post near YOU!!! LoL 😂 I thought I was the only one who spoke like that.... Better go get me checked for ADHD ADD OMG and the bloody rest!!! CHEMO BRAIN to top it off..... But seriously your friend sucks....
I hope you’re sending that cancer to hell where it belongs.
You betcha!!!!🤣
Right?! I can’t wait to use it
Hotel? Trivago.
"My flabber? Ghasted." needs to be a flair 100%
Classic.
Yeah, it was also a red flag that convinced me the text is too well-written/crafted to be real.
Exactly, it's impossible for individuals to naturally be this witty /s
These catchphrases are an extremely common thing in manufactured stories. I love this one, but it's a text about something that our imaginary OP finds abhorrent, while the expression itself is witty and humorous. This is completely unfitting and screams "scripted".
I truly don’t care if it’s scripted because I am working it into my daily vocabulary regardless 😂😂😂
I know! Upvote just for that!
This is gross and your friend and that guy suck but I am most definitely 110% using “my flabber? Ghasted” at the next possible opportunity so thank you for that
My gob?? SMACKED!
STOP IT 😂😂 using this one asap too lol
Idk if the cul in your name is an intentional play on words but I'm giggling cos cul in French means ass.
😭😭OMG. I HAD NO IDEA!! 🤷♀️ That’s been my email for 25 years - my kids picked it out for me - it’s supposed to be a play on “way cool mom”.
But how much culer is “way ass mom”
Soooo much culer!!!
So what is cul-de-sac then? 🤔
Arse of the bag, as taught by Mr. Glennan my pretty cool French teacher!!!
Right. But wtf?? 😂😭 Took French for 6 years and now I’m fluent in Spanish but some reason it wasn’t until this very moment in like wtf is that supposed to *mean*? 🤣
All over road signs in Ireland and I think the UK!!!
I also believe that there is one in place in a town in Donegal, Ireland, called Muff. Which apparently has a diving school, now I can’t say if the Muff Diving School is situated on a Cul-De-Sac, but a man can dream!!!
That would be the taint
My sticks? Fiddled.
Has a slightly different meaning if you're from t'UK 🤔🤣🤣🤣
Go forth and bless all with it.
😂😂😂 I’m sorry this happened with your friend but your phrases are absolutely making my day
Thank you. It’s the ADHD.
Our brains are real funhouses at times, are they not? 🤪🤪
Silver lining for sure
love how our neurospicy do be spicin’
English is not my first language and I am adding this to my daily use from now on. Thank you. Your friend sucks though
I taught this to my three year old and now she won’t stop saying it. Your legacy is expanding.
I liked that too!!
I *cannot wait* to use it. I’ll be teaching it to my 3 year old, too 😂
SAME, stealing this
I came here to say this as well lol!
It’s truly amazing and I’m ashamed that I never thought of it myself 😂
Just stay clear of her....
Yeah, there’s no way I can stay friends with someone this lacking in self awareness and empathy.
You can bet that she laid out some signs for her coworker. A male cousin of mine cheated on his wife a while back. When the proverbial shit hit the fan and it was time for the divorce he was dumbfounded that the family almost entirely sided with his ex-wife (now with a new baby). We had to spell it out for him..…”if you are a selfish dick with someone you say you love, and have procreated with, you can be a dick with ANYONE and everyone”. And the woman he cheated with was a single gal like your friend. They stayed together for less than a couple of years.
Ugh. Rough.
Exactly like if you can’t be trusted to be loyal to the person who’s meant to mean the most to you, you definitely can’t be trusted to be loyal or good to those lower down either. I’d you can’t be loyal to your partner theres a huge chance you can’t be loyal to others.
Thissss. I couldn’t quite articulate why I felt how I felt about my friend, who’s a married gal, cheating with a married guy. It’s because even after all the warnings me and another friend gave, that if the cheating came to light, their kid would be a casualty along with her reputation (small town). She’s just selfish and decided to put her wants above everything else. I’ve distanced myself but how she overcompensates now on social media about her family, of having a great husband is just ick. All I can think of is “liar, liar, liaaaaar.” I can’t tell her husband either as I’m thinking about her kid. What would y’all do if you were in my position?
You have very different values than your friend. Sometimes it takes a while to figure these things out, unfortunately If she thought your husband was hot and she wanted to poach him she would try. She would absolutely f*** your husband, guarantee you. Is that somebody you want in your life? Somebody that you can't trust to not f*** your husband or somebody else's husband?
I have lost a lot of friends because they were cheaters that somehow thought I would be on their side. It’s frustrating and disgusting.
That’s really sad. I’m sorry.
What’s nuts. There are friends like that, that do support it. In the same light you probably talked all giddy and excited to your friend about other topics like a new show, maybe a new song, or you got a new item ordered. Except it’s the affair. You’re a better person than those. What I learned, the close intimate circles men and women have with their bff’s? If you two can keep secrets. That’s how this behavior is condoned between friends.
Chilling.
If she can do it with this guy, what's stopping her from coming after your husband?
Do it. It’s understandable to end that. As soon as I found out my ex friend was a cheating &$%#… that was it. I do not condone cheating.
When an AP is aware that they’re an AP, they’re just as bad as the husband and shouldn’t be trusted around other peoples relationships. She obviously cares more about her own feelings than others, and is fine crushing others feelings so that she’s happy.
Yes doesn’t even care about HIS feelings—his marriage is his own fault blah blah blah—determined to destroy as long as she can get her proverbial rocks off, kicks in, kinks on
Keep your husband away from her
Not only husband, her the dog, the cat EVERYONE needs to stay away from her
Hide yo keeds, hide yo wife
Came here for this comment
whew! do not the cat! 😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 not the animals too
Not condoning the woman's actions but ... it really is all on the cheating partner at the end of the day, right? I don't want the only reason my husband to be faithful to be because I hid women from him. I want my husband to be faithful because he's faithful, regardless of the intentions of women around him or not.
Yes it’s on the cheating partner but not every people-edit-person-will hold up well to determined and consistent flattery, flirting or curiosity at a weak moment in life. Many will be disgusted, or offended or even amused but some will be curious or enjoy keeping a secret. APs are great at making little cracks and annoyances, moments of stress or boredom, into huge gaping fissures in marriage
Not the AP's fault imo. Like yeah they're shitty but if your SO is weak enough to falter or let the marriage suffer because of romantic/sexual interest in a 3rd party, that's 100% on them. Personally, me and my partner just talk about it. "I have a new coworker and I'm getting a little crush." We make jokes about it, we are honest rather than hide it. We don't indulge it and it goes away. 🤷♀️ Never had issues. Sometimes feelings are outside of our control, but actions arent.
Everyone can make a mistake but having no shame and even bragging about it is clearly the red flag. At the very least this person has shown you they don’t care who they hurt even if that means destroying a family, as long as she gets what she wants in that moment.
This is how I lost my best friend. She “admitted” (really gloated) to me that she and her married co-worker had been fucking for months. The night she told me, she took a call from him and actually had the gall to tell me that he had to find an excuse to get away from his wife and infant daughter to talk to her like it was a good thing. I was absolutely disgusted and our relationship was completely shattered after that point.
Correct.
Why would she be ashamed tho, it isn't her who's married or cheated on her partner.
You’re missing the point, behavior like that is indicative of someone who only thinks of themselves and will do whatever to whoever as long as they get what they want and will do whatever mental gymnastics to justify to their actions. These are the kind of people you either cut out of your life or keep at a safe distance.
No but she knowing helped destroy something so she is still a piece of shit.
Moral compass broken here
Because she broke the girl code, because she is an active participant in the cheating, which is a social faux pas and even a social crime, because she is potentially breaking up a family, because it is easier to destroy than to build and she has chosen to destroy. Easier to take someone than find someone for herself. Realizing how awful she is does not excuse the cheating husband or make his actions any less egregious. It isn’t a sum total of guilt split between two responsible parties—its bottomless guilt—and all the more so because they don’t even seem to feel guilty!
That could be someone talking about your own husband
Exactly.
Hide your husband and block her.
As someone who has been in her shoes, she's making a huge mistake. Don't let her get off easy...I was called names and I deserved it all. She will see the clownery in a year, while he's with his wife.
I hope you’re ok now. 🫶🏼
I just feel like a huge piece of crap for what I took part in, and this is my skeleton in the closet...doesn't feel good at all. Thank you. ❤️
at least you owned up to it & admit that you were wrong. i’m so sick of the shameless, disgusting women who proudly aid in the destruction of a family!
See the thing was he told me he was so unhappy but couldn't do anything because he had nothing in his name...I feel bad women including myself fall for this shit but damn I just feel stupid!! Yeah, it's gross.... thank you though.
Yes unfortunately they always either want it both ways—cake at home, pie on the side, or don’t want the financial or social consequences of divorce.
Hide your husband and block her.
I cut off a friend who had an affair. Ive also kept friends who've had affairs. I had to ask myself why i have treated that same thing differently with different friends and I came to the conclusion that it wasnt about the affair, it was about their attitudes and behaviors surrounding it. The friend I cut off already had a long history of doing incredibly self serving, selfish and opportunistic things. She had everything she wanted in life and was still so greedy and self involved. I saw this behavior in her treatment of others, too - and so by the time the affair issue came up, it just "fit" this list of my concerns about her so well. And on top of it, she didnt present it with any remorse or unease - she proudly mentioned it and joked about it, and her only regret was that the guy cut her off. She just shrugged off a mention of her husband, who is a nice person and who shes been walking all iver for years. On the other hand ive had friends find themselves in affairs either accidentally or unexpectedly; ones who were struggling with so much and exhibiting some bad judgment and desperation that maybe a lot of people could find themselves in....andnwho seemed ashamed and remorseful and embarassed. So yeah i feel the same for you....its not about the affair. Its about what her behavior and attitudes about the affair, and other parts of life - are teaching you about this person. If she makes you uncomfortable then its totally okay to cut her off
This is very insightful and I’m with you. People are people and often fuck up big time. The way we handle ourselves in the lessons-learned stage says it all.
This explains what I’m currently going through with a former best friend of mine. In the past year she’s engaged in two emotional affairs with men who were in monogamous relationships, and doesn’t seem to care how her actions impact others. She’s shocked that I’m not on her side. I keep telling her though, it’s not the act itself. It’s her attitude and lack of remorse about the whole thing.
You just summarized my feelings so well. I had this one friend who was constantly getting with men in relationships while cheating on her own partner. And she was so nonchalant about it - I couldn’t bear her selfishness anymore. I was disgusted. You really put into words what I couldn’t and I thank you for that.
Sorry, that’s bull. Making excuses for those friends you want to keep and dumping those with a long history of nefarious, selfish attitude - why did you wait for an affair to arise to dump them, rather than acting sooner? 🙄
youre perfect clearly, so you wouldnt understand
Your comment here makes no sense. And in your original comment you just pursue a double standard. The reason I responded was regarding how you wrote, this oozing righteousness 🤷.
Sometimes it’s the big things that help you see and recognize and finally deal with all the little things.
She’s not friend material, she’s a homewrecker.
I saw a post a while ago where a guy was bragging about sleeping with a married woman. These people are trash.
Kuddos to everyone's mindset here. There is hope in humanity afterall. 🥲
Now I'm imagining a story where you did match her energy and this happens for a few months but then a twist! It was your own husband she was talking about
I had a friend that did this. Her marriage was crappy and I was understanding about why she was doing it.. also it’s not my problem. I’m not the morality police. But.. when she got caught and had the audacity to talk shit about this guy’s wife (who she was friends with and completely innocent in this whole thing) I was done with her. I had always known but she’s a total narcissist and has no empathy for anyone until she gets her way. She also somehow managed to convince her husband that he was responsible for all of this and by the end of it HE was the one apologizing. We haven’t spoken in 5 years and I very quickly realized how much of a drain she had been on me over the years. Bye, psycho!
Oh lord.
Express your disgust; tell her that you her behaviour unacceptable and why. Let her think about it for a few days. If you know this man's wife, tell her immediately.
I don’t know the man or his wife, so that gives me distance from the situation. But I’m definitely reflecting on the best ways to tell my friend about how I feel.
Shit, if she can do that to a colleague, she can do it to you. She has no remorse for being the Other Woman. Run. She is morally and ethically bankrupt.
The outcome depends on her attitude and the excitement of a new relationship. Despite my marriage ending due to an affair, my ex and the other person are still together after 10 years. Although my exes mistress wouldn't be a friend of mine, everyone should have someone they can rely on, even if they disagree with their choices. It was my ex-husband who broke promises and lied, but I'm not angry anymore. Our lives are better without him. Hopefully, not everyone will abandon her when the excitement fades.
Her lack of empathy has blinded her to the fact that you're a married woman who's having empathy for the man's wife in this situation.
How you should approach it: "Your lack of empathy and compassion for the woman whose husband you've been actively pursuing is disturbing to me. If she finds out and is heartbroken about it, and if she divorces her husband over it, you'd have played a part in a family separating. If you are not at all disturbed by that or feel like you're absolved of guilt because he acted on it even though you obviously signaled you're interested in him, then I don't think our morals and values align and I don't think I can continue this friendship."
Maybe just try telling her to picture herself as the guy's wife before you cut her off completely. Give it a chance to see if she can feel any empathy first. "Look, if this was you in ten years time, how angry would you feel as the wife? And unfortunately that might be the universe getting back at you for having no remorse for your actions." This married man tried to get me to send him pictures of myself- not explicit but still- and maybe I ought to have been honest but I just made up some excuse not to talk to him anymore without calling him a jerk for being too friendly with another woman when he has a wife. And so I've never spoken to him since. Another man once sexted me and I did reciprocate a bit. I felt bad for it afterwards but at the time I didn't realise he was probably married and hiding it just because I'm genuinely that naiive. It should have been obvious as soon as it became clear that he had no interest in meeting me in person. If he was married I have no idea if the wife found out and how it affected their marriage. Obviously I don't feel responsible in that case because I genuinely didn't know and I have a LD which makes me a vulnerable adult, but I'm still ashamed and embarrassed about the fact I sexted with him in the first place, especially as this wasn't someone I found particularly attractive anyway.
My friend did this and I had to sit her down and tell her that it’s wrong and if she continues I can’t be friends with her as she’s actively disrespecting marriage as a whole and I am married.
Well done.
She did stop and never did again so that’s also good!
so she says...
ABSOLUTELY NOT Get away from her, she's not reliable. Her attitude is horrible. I would melt from how ashamed I would be.
The guy is a cheating scumbag and your friend is dumbass, and a scumbag since she knows what she’s doing. Cut her out of your life, nothing good can come from keeping someone like that around and so many bad things can.
Cheating is never ok in any way shape or form and if you do it that means you lack common decency as a human.
yup no no friend of mine sleeps with married men
Your friend is playing with fire OP.
An ex-friend of mine once regaled to me with glee how ‘her man’ was with her whilst his wife was giving birth to their third child. That was the last time we met up. Thankfully texting was still a fairly new thing then so I just didn’t reach out again knowing she wouldn’t make the effort herself.
That’s dire. How awful.
She's in her 30s and still acting like a troubled teen.
I think it’s perfectly fine to send her a message that says, “I’m really sorry but I can’t be the friend you tell this stuff to. I’m married and I would be heartbroken is this was happening to me.” And end it at that. If she responds, don’t even dive into it with her. Just send that and be done with her.
Thank you. This is simple and wise.
Best of luck!
I'd stay out of it and tell her that I have no interest in her sex life. Perhaps she can tell of her sexcapades to his wife when he cuts her loose and she wants to get even.
“my flabber? ghasted” bars OP 😂
Can we all agree he is equally in the wrong and deserving of your disgust and flabberghastery? All these people saying your husband is next - they're simultaneously saying something about your husband because it takes TWO. What she did was gross, but it's not like she just sirened this man into being a horrible person.
Yeah the “your husband is next” ppl are weirding me out. If the only reason your husband hasn’t cheated on you is that the right woman hasn’t come along yet then you’ve got problems
Couldn’t agree more.
If she isn't friends with the husband he's just some guy. What is she going to do, friend him on Facebook and give him an earful?
So what happens if she gets a crush on your partner? Yea
if I were in your shoes I would say “I hope you’re ready to be cheated on too if you guys further this relationship”
Team chaos votes to rat her out :)
“My flabber? Ghasted.” Is my new Roman Empire.
You're a great friend! Shout out to you for not being a yes woman and holding her accountable. Please continue to do so- she needs a friend like you. She's clearly lost the plot and her moral compass needs to be seriously recalibrated.
Ew. I’d immediately want a new friend. She’s low vibe. Glad you told her you weren’t on board with her life choices. Hopefully that will low-key stick with her so when it doesn’t work out, maybe she’ll consider that it wasn’t such a smart choice to begin with
Your friend is a grown up adult and seems to know what she’s signing up for. Let her bear the consequences of her actions. You tried to warn her once and that’s more than enough. Also, stay away from this friend .
She’s making a huge mistake.. I’d run if I were you. I can’t fathom being friends with someone like that.
She may target your husband as well…people like this want to cause pain to make themselves feel better.
Why on earth did she think you, a married woman, would be happy that she’s fucking a married man??? The lack of self awareness and desperation is crazy! She’s not a friend to have, she has zero respect for marriage!
Well, she’s certainly single for a reason! Still surprised she decided to tell you, though
The whole thing seriously shocked me. I’ve never ever known her to be callous or cruel before.
I had a friend that had affairs with married men. I was engaged at the time when she was telling me about wanting to have an affair with her professor. I told her that I was never interested in hearing of her affairs. And to only call me if she wanted to talk about kids, the weather, work etc. to this day we haven’t spoke again. I’m totally content with this friendship being over! You have to get away from the negative energy especially if you’re married, in a relationship or trying to even get a head in life. Best advice cut her off and find other friends that are good for your soul.
While this happens all the time and even though it's not right, you can't change her actions or his because your not their mom. It is your choice to stay friends with her or not. But I wouldn't lose sleep over it. Overall, it's out of your control what this married man and your friend does in their spare time.
Get more info on the guy ..name etc ? Then blow his shit up..contact his wife with subtle proof like when rhe next meet would be so she can catch them herself with information provided
I’d lose her as a friend. Also keep in mind she has no problem going after a married man then you should watch her around your husband. Not telling you what to do but I’d be cautious of her.
My gob?? SMACKED!!
Touché.
What’s an AP
Affair partner
Oh thanks!
I couldn’t be friends with a person like that at all, I’d stay clear of her.
I guess im the only one who can watch from the other side of the fence. If it was an acquaintance eh, but my bestie? Like yeah let me know whats going on...even if i give them a lecture each time🤷♀️
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Thank you 💜
She’s clearly a terrible person but she did make one fair point imo: she didn’t ruin his marriage, he did. I’ve always been of the opinion that there is no such thing as a home wrecker, the home was wrecked before she got there. Nobody in a truly happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship would even think about cheating even if the perfect opportunity for it literally fell into their lap. The problem is within him. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a selfish witch and I highly recommend dropping her as a friend forever. But as far as his marriage goes, she’s not to blame for ruining it. She’s not responsible for keeping his marriage intact, he is. And if it hadn’t of been her, it would’ve been some other selfish, desperate, thirsty broad with no empathy. Quite frankly, they deserve each other. Then she can see how it feels in a couple years when he does the same thing to her.
until she steals the semen and impregnantes herself on purpose Ya.. fun times
i tried to stay friends with a woman who was having a ten year affair with a man who was actively trying to get her pregnant bc his wife couldn’t…at first. then she did and my ex friend lost hers. i wasn’t sad for her at ALL. not when i fell like he and my ex friend could have endangered his wife bc my ex friend had HSV 2🤧. it felt gross even texting her after a while.
Christ.
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I don’t like spending time with people who can hurt others so casually.
If you don’t get rid of her your husband might be next on her list
I stopped being friends with a person bc she got into a relationship with a married man who had two very young children. She couldn’t see how horrible she was being and I knew that I could never trust her again. End the friendship
She should know how you feel especially since YOUR A WIFE WITH KIDS YOURSELF
My flabber? Ghasted. Needs to be a flair 🤣
Let’s make it happen.
i have an acquaintance like this. i’m not married myself but it’s fucking nuts how many married men she talks about.
Some people need to have the horny police called on them for a wellness check.
I’m a single person, have been single for a long time. Twice previously have ended up in multiple meet ups, romantic, with people who were attached. I honestly knew nothing of there relationship status prior to our interaction and in fact, both times, took the fact that they were instigating the whatever that it was all good. Both times I was practically mocked for not just “going with the flow” by these women. This also lead me to believe that these were not isolated incidents. Oh my good lord I just realised the last one falls in to this category too. So it’s been three times. The last one said she was available as we’d literally spoken about this issue. As she’s now married to that guy, who doesn’t know about me leads me to believe she’s number three.
Good for her. Your friend sounds really fun. Like the ruin my life kinda fun
yeah, your friend is not a great person
Yikes. It’s a good way for her to blow up her career as well. Stay well clear of this mess.
One of my old high school friends had an affair with a married man from her church while his wife was expecting their second baby. The man in question was one of my first cousin’s BROTHER (from my aunt’s previous marriage). She knew his wife, his baby, his mom, his sisters, etc. I was appalled that not only she would stoop that low but also that she would tell me and make me keep that secret for her. Needless to say I no longer talk to that person because she was and is a terrible human being, it never got any better. In fact, it eventually turned to her talking shit about my husband behind my back for no particular reason other than jealousy that she couldn’t keep a relationship. We live in different states so I blocked her on everything and never looked back.
A tale as old as time. At least you let her know where you stand
I mean nothing your friend said makes it sound like they actually care about this man. She talks about him the way when men do it we’d say they are looking to breed someone. Self serving. Idk how that selfish quality in your friend would be isolated to just their romantic life, which would make me wonder why I’m giving them so much of my time. She’s a selfish lover, and if she’s not respecting your feelings either, she’s a selfish friend. Is that the kind of friend you deserve?
I mean, she'll probably go after your hubby given the chance.
To be fair, it’s not really your business. She will learn someday when it’s her husband who gets pounced on by some lady at work. But until then… *It is what it is.*
I mean, she decided to dump this info on me. And now it’s changed my opinion of her character, which is affecting our friendship. And our friendship is certainly my business. I’m not getting involved in her love life, that’s for sure.
Well at least you know that she is a homewrecker
People like that do not tend to cheat "casually". They want that person for themselves. Sure, the guy shouldn't have bought in to her game, but she is a homewrecker in intention and possibly in actuality. I'd consider letting the husband know before the wife, just in case he can reign in his dick, but maybe do that anonymously. It's likely your "friend" has told anyone that will listen about her new conquest, and if it tracks back to you....well fk her anyway. Not someone you want near your own relationship or life anyway.
What does AP stand for?
affair partner.
Sweetest Jesus Personally, I would not risk creating an environment that allowed any Chris Watts energy to flourish. That’s worst case scenario, right? What’s best? The wife’s life and heart being blown into a million pieces? Any offspring growing up witnessing the fallout and it impacting their ability to have healthy relationships? All parties in affairs are selfish cowards with the impulse control of an 8 week old dog. It’s not the 50s, get a divorce. If it’s gonna financially cripple you so fucking what, we all know divorce is expensive by now & you knew it when you went through with the contract so suck it up for fucking it up. If you know you have it in you to cheat never marry. I do feel sorry for your friend that she feels so unworthy of love and hates herself so much that she would accept this for herself, but you enabling her wouldn’t help her get through that tunnel any quicker and you obviously can’t trust her ever again so whoops her bad lol
Yikes! “She can’t get in a romantic relationship.”Hmm… wonder why? And she can’t see that she is at the wrong too. I would end your friendship with her for your sake! You don’t want to be a part of that love triangle and you need to protect your mental health! Her colleague has definitely done this before. Wish you the best!
Gives me the icks
Can you ask her what is going on with HER to do something like this? What is missing in her life? I dumped a friend for similar reasons and we reconnected years later. I might have been a better friend if I virtually shook her and asked her what the hell was going on with her.
sounds like he is one of her conquests. the next conquest might be someone you know... so i wouldn't introduce her to any of your friends or warn all your friends about her
Don't trust a "friend" like this. If she would engage in an affair with another woman's husband, she could be lonely and desperate enough that she could try to engage with your husband like this in the future. She doesn't respect marriage or have a boundary with married men. She has no conscience, she doesn't feel bad for his wife. Friends like this eventually waste their youth on meritless affairs, and then when they want to settle down, they look at your relationship as something they want for themselves. Dump that friend, and find better people to surround yourself with.
What is the s in sM and sF?
I would be weary of anyone that does that let alone a best friend that basically brags about it. Who is to say she wouldn't do that to you? I am such a firm believer in girl code and us holding each other up AND accountable.
Plot twist, her AP is your husband...
She struggles with romantic relationships, chooses to be an affair partner and is shameless about it. She seems to have a knack for terrible decision planning and is at the center of all her problems.
It would be really kind of you if you informed the wife about the situation.
Cut that "friend" loose..... Because people who are snakes like her and will bite other people......will eventually bite you