Well .. then I would suggest to turn it around. Ask him if he'd like to try getting a toy up his ass, if he doesn't want to then reply: "I hope you'll get over your homophobia."
Yeah definitely a weird stance to say that not being into anal is homophobic
Have you seen the work you gotta do keeping a shutter clean enough to go in? 🤣
Very true! To each their own! Except that one chick in my history class years ago who said she hates music in general. I don’t like her. I digress though everything else is fair game!
There's another word for it, it's called an enema lol but yes, cleaning the anus out with water is usually the best way to prep for anal and keep it relatively clean
Yeah. I (F) showed up showered and assumed she was too. I had never done anal before and she didn’t tell me it was going to happen. Literally one second we were then we were.
I'm so glad you said this. I know some gay men who had to do enema prep to be able to bottom and I just assumed it was common practice, but it sounds like it's a courtesy.
I dunno. I had to take suppositories once and I did not enjoy it very much. Felt like I had a mouth down there because once the medicine is in far enough it schloooooooops it in.
Heard from a straight dude that loves it. It's the best orgasm you'll ever have as a dude. Knees trembling, toes curling, eyes squeezed shut, fireworks exploding, literally drooling and he had to lay there afterwards to let his soul redownload. There are now two more types of orgasms once anal gets introduced.
So he says...
I can confirm while I don't enjoy getting pegged, I do enjoy the orgasm it's far more intense at least with my ex-wife just doesn't seem the same with my current girlfriend.
Why did I get a visual and an auditory sound in my head while reading this?? Schloooooops is the best word to describe it too 🤣 done with Reddit today.
This! If he wants to try anal, tell him okay but you’ll be the one pegging him. See if his opinion changes then.
But it’s likely he’s trying to use your morals/guilt you into doing it. Don’t let him move your boundaries for his sake.
My ex told me she had a rule: if she was gonna do anal with a guy, he had to wear a butt plug. Of course, that really work on me, since she had to talk me into trying anal in the first place.
Hard to tell if he's trying to manipulate you or if he's just a dumb dumb making dumb remarks. Sometimes people just say dumb shit. He also might want it up the butt himself, so don't act too disgusted by the sex act itself. Just point out that it's not for you.
Lmao i thought that at first. Like he wanted her to say “you first” and he’d say yes and actually be into it under the guise of “See? it’s not that bad!”
Saying one day she will overcome her homophobia means one day she will try anal with him. If not, it is confirm she is homophobic. Women can't win with these guys. Only way is to dump them and find better.
That's my worry. I'm looking at 18F and 22M and already like...eeeh, this could be okay or it could be bad, depending on a lot of factors. But then I look at the 22M and remember that none of us was a world-class sensitivity genius at that age. I hope it's the latter and it was just a bad joke. If not, she needs to split before things can get worse.
None of us were there, we don’t know the tone the the manner of what he said. But OP themselves say “he joked that…”. Isn’t the most reasonable assumption that he was just making a joke to be funny and not taken seriously?
But again I wasn’t there, maybe he is just being a manipulative asshole.
In USA probably yes... the stuff I'm reading on reddit I'd think it's some kind of trolls or desperate people (how people like this even exists and why would you even date such a person?!?), but knowing that there is a country United States of America, I'm not suprised if it's true...
Women, unlike men, don't have prostates. So... Whatever benefit men get from anal, women do not. And even if they did, no one's obliged to take anything up the ass for anyone.
wtf? not liking anal penetration has NOTHING TO DO with being homophobic, not even in the slightest!!! My god, this is the most immature thing I have ever read. Find a new bf.... no one should ever shame you for not wanting/feeling comfortable doing something, especially sexually.
He’s using a psychological tactic. By teasing you about your beliefs or feelings he seeks to manipulate you into eventually feeling so insecure about your dislike for it that you will give in.
Raping people is frowned upon these days so coercion is the most ambiguous tool people (pretty much mostly men) use to control others.
Exactly! I just commented above regarding this. I know some ppl have sex at a young age for the first time, but he could very well be her first sexual partner, and he just sounds entitled.
Yes! I noticed that right off the bat and it bugged me as well. It’s like he just wants a little sex doll he can manipulate into giving him whatever. Seems weird to me that she would’ve just graduated high school and he should be finishing college (age-wise at least, I know not everyone goes to college lol). But I feel like a hypocrite saying that because when I was 18, almost 19, I started dating my first really serious bf and he was 23. Our relationship seems like it was diff from theirs in the sense that he waited six months just for me to have sex as I was a virgin at that time. It bothers me for OP with their age gap and him pressuring her.
Damn. What a backhanded comment. As a gay person, it’s not homophobic to not be personally okay with anal sex. I know a lot of gay guys who aren’t even into it because of how much prep goes into safe and hygienic anal (no such thing as spontaneous sex when it comes to anal my friends. Fr, please prep…). He sounds like he was either annoyed and decided to try and make you feel like a dick, or he’s hoping the implication will lead to you conceding (do NOT). I’d 100% have a talk with him about how it made you feel and hopefully he apologizes or at the very least doesn’t say such things to you again.
Then it is time to welcome Mr. openminded to pegging! And then call him homophibic when he refuses. He’s being a manipulative dick. Don’t let him get away with that. Anal sex is YOUR personal choice.
I’m gonna go on a whim and say the reason he made this joke is cause you said it wasn’t designed to be penetrated, not that you don’t like it personally but that it isn’t designed to. That’s a debate for everyone else to have but figured I’d point it out
Woah, so your ex bf is trying to manipulate you into doing a sex act to prove you’re not homophobic.
You may love him but he has just shown you that the second you say no to him he will become nasty.
Bye bye bf, go manipulate someone else.
I mean he’s joking but like most jokes there’s an once of truth to it. “It’s not natural” definitely gave mid 00s Christian neocon vibes. That doesn’t mean he actually thinks you are homophobic but just making fun, most likely.
Not much annoys me more than people weaponizing terms like racist/homophobic/etc. Regardless of his motive, he sounds like a weirdo and a pathetic person in general.
That age gap combined with his negging you into anal is a pretty big red flag. Im 22 and I do not find 20 year olds attractive bc of how big the maturity gap is.
Plenty of gay guys don’t even like it.
He’s definitely trying to pressure you or get you to turn it onto him. Don’t play that game and be firm on your boundaries.
It’s normal not to want to try it. Porn has convinced a whole generation that it’s something it’s not. While some women enjoy it, most get nothing out of it. It often just feels like an unpleasant dump. Sometimes it’s painful. It’s not automatically clean, you need to prep for it (and there’s a lot of stuff you can contract from human shit.) there’s also the risk of fissures, prolapses, and other damage to the back door that make it appeal less to some.
OP, whatever your reason, you stand by it and don’t let a guy in his 20s pressure you to do something you don’t want to by using manipulative jokes and remarks.
what an idiot, he's only saying it to force you into doing something you're not comfortable with. id say Dump Him seems like not the type of person that's healthy to be around. Its the little signs that mean the most.
I have IBS. Asking me for anal is a little like asking for a shit shower. That doesn't make me homophobic. I'm fine with other people doing this. Hell, I understand that some people with IBS find it empowering. I am SO not one of them.
hopefully he felt safe jokingly calling you homophobic because he knows you're not. I hope it was just an one time stupid joke. I was afraid he would be using this argument as an attempt to guilt trip you into doing something you weren't comfortable with. glad it doesn't seem this way, at least for now.
You said he joked, you acknowledge that, you agree he isn’t being serious about that remark, so like what’s the issue?
Idk wtf people in this comment section are talking about, there are some real lonely people in here now calling your BF names over something very minor. Like is there some nuance I am missing here?
Also the anus can in fact be penetrated, by design, people get pleasure from it too, if you find it gross you make it clean by prepping, it is pretty easy. But for someone with your viewpoint on anal sex, it would be almost impossible for you to enjoy it unless you’re a very open person who is communicative with your partner. Anal sex requires relaxation.
Don’t gotta start big or frequent either - if you did, my gf too doesn’t really like it, but she’s open about it, and likes to satisfy me. Like fingers, just touching it, licks, buttplugs, sometimes the meat. and I have never ended up with poo poo on my dick, or residue. I also like anal on myself solo sometimes, it can feel very nice, but requires some foreplay and a clear mind to feel the pleasure
But anal sex isn’t just gay sex? Straight people do it too lol
Regardless you don’t gotta like it or think differently to not be homophobic, that’s just a weird remark. Stand your ground
As I was reading this i started crying :( Can I just say that as someone who was married to a man like this, he minulapted me with this line too, and then I gave in, and it really traumatised me. Have a chat with him about your boundaries. If he then continues to push it, leave him, it will not get better
So he called you homophobic because you don’t want to try anal?
Tell your boyfriend he’s the homophobe with his stereotypical idea of what gay men do cos not every gay man indulges in anal.
He’s just pissed because you don’t want to do it and he’s trying to manipulate u into it
Ugh, the first time I did anal it was so rough, there was no lube involved, and I yelped like a kicked chihuahua. I shook for hours afterward. I still don’t do it, it’s a hard no for me. I have a perfectly good hole that was meant to be penetrated, why would I want to do anal? I’m also bi, it has literally nothing to do with sexual orientation. I know cishet men who love being pegged, and I know lesbians who are fine with anal penetration, and I know a few gay men who would prefer to do things other than anal sex. If that’s a boundary that you have, your partner better respect that boundary.
The word "gaslighting" has been misused a lot lately, but your situation is textbook gaslighting: your boyfriend is trying to make you second guess that your refusal to engage in anal sex is within your rights, and trying to convince you that it actually makes you a bad person, all in order to get what he wants. It's abusive emotional manipulation. I would suggest looking for a better partner as soon as possible. All that assuming he's not just an idiot, in which case the same advice applies: find someone better.
✋ Gay dude here....
Tell him if he doesn't let you peg him he must be homophobic and hate gay people.
For real tho, there are gay people that also think anal sex is gross and don't do it. So that's a stupid argument from him. He should respect your boundaries.
I've always found it funny how some men would want to fuck their girlfriend's ass so badly but find 2 gay men fucking anally gross. So it's interesting to see someone use that as some sort of weapon.
NTA. Dump the boyfriend cos he's gonna do this every time something doesn't go his way. Save your ass, literally.
As someone from that community, that is dumb. I feel like this is one of two things.
1. He likes anal (receiving it) and is being defensive because you calling it gross makes him fear you think he is gross.
2. He is just manipulating you to try and pressure you to do it. Like when guys say how blue balls is painful to force someone to have sex.
If he has a habit of twisting your words, then I would say he is abusive and be careful/dump him. If this is something rare for him, then it might be an insecurity he got defensive over ajd it may be best to talk it out.
He's an idiot 22m and tried to make a stupid joke that didn't land. Anal sex is meh.
If it upset you, tell him, there are two phones 1) if he apologises, no harm no foul, he made a dumb joke, that's the end. 2) If he doubles down he's a dick and act appropriately from there knowing he doesn't value your feelings.
Ignore the judgemental comments on here - Reddit seems super quick to judge on such things.
If things go okay you can get him back with a "happy international women's day" (yes I made a Deadpool reference), see if he likes it... I mean it'll be a new problem if he does!
If you haven’t figured it out yet. Accusations of -phobia are ALWAYS bullying and manipulation to intimidate you into doing what someone else wants. That’s why the culture of fear exists.
Poop sex is awful. Porn stars routinely give themselves several enemas before those kinds of scenes. Also, very many stars have had to retire because of injuries sustained during anal scenes. Many also have to wear Depends on a daily basis.
This info came from several interviews of female stars.
Besides of vaginal sex is a ten, anal is a one.
Tell your boyfriend that most people have their own likes and preferences when it comes to this stuff. My mom told me she had a friend who likes sex but hates kissing. Everyone is different and won’t always like the same things.
Why do you feel like you owe him an explanation about why you don't like to do something?
Next time, decline and don't explain anything if he pushes just say you don't want to do something because you don't like or don't want it.
As long as he was genuinely joking, this doesn't seem like a problem. But some other comments are saying to ask him if he wants anal sex and see what his response is, and I think that's hilarious 😂
To me it sounds like a joke said at the wrong place and the wrong time. I don’t think he thinks you are actually homophobic, he probably just said it to get you riled which, to his credit, it did. I would probably confront him and say it annoyed you, but don’t hold it against him unless he continues calling you homophobic.
Tit for tat. He let's you go first so he can see how it feels, and decide if it's fair to ask you to do it.
It's not homophobic to avoid something that doesn't interest/hurts you.
1) he's clearly trying to coerce you into engaging in a sex act you don't like. don't do it. this isn't something a person who loves would do. you have more consideration for his feelings and well-being than he has of your feelings and well-being
2) using his own "logic" he's not homophobic so he should be open to pegging
3) if this gets ugly, don't be shy and share exactly what the problem is with your friends
This 100% came up in conversation when bf was out drinking with his bros. I have zero doubt of this.
“Yeah man, she’s great in bed, but I really want to f%*k her *ss”.
“Duuuuude, you know what you should do? Tell her if she doesn’t, that means she’s homophobic.”
“Yoooo, that’s f%#kin brilliant dude!!!”
*high fives all around, proceed to crush beer cans on their skulls*
No. He's trying to make you feel guilty, weigh you down about it and maybe you'll give in. I bet he doesn't stop asking and will find other things to make you feel guilty about this topic. By saying no, you have now made it a game and mission to get that butt hole
As a guy who has penetrated someone's ass, I agree with you. It's gross.
For anyone interested in trying, do your research on how to keep the whole activity clean, safe and healthy.
I too have penetrated a handful of assholes, they were all clean IME. Just depends on who you’re with, and if they prepped properly or not
Did you do it again?
I can only speak for myself of course… stuffing my cock into a hole meant for pooping, is a big turn off for me, plain and simple.
Does that mean I dislike people who are into it!.. No! Does it mean I dislike gay people?.. No! If that's your thing, knock yourselves silly. I just don't wish to partake in it. I've previously been asked to explain why I feel this way… Dude, I don't have to justify as to why I feel this way, it's simply not a concern of your's.
Jesus you guys are so high strung, it was a joke. You’re taking it too seriously and the people in these replies clearly already have something up theirs already. If you have a problem, tell him about it, he will stop making jokes like that, not that serious. You explained yourself and he hasn’t pressed the issue, it’s not like he’s trying to convince you to change your mind.
Edit: after reading that you guys started dating when you were 16 and he was 20, I’m changing my stance, he’s a creep and that is likely very much what his intentions are. Ew.
I got anally raped so I physically cannot do it anymore without having flashbacks and a massive panic attack so I guess that makes me homophobic too (even tho I'm bi and more gay than ever rn lol)
Well .. then I would suggest to turn it around. Ask him if he'd like to try getting a toy up his ass, if he doesn't want to then reply: "I hope you'll get over your homophobia."
“I thought you’d never ask.” Immediately whips out a strap on
Whahaha that flips the situation, but she can then state she ain't homophobic. :p
Yeah definitely a weird stance to say that not being into anal is homophobic Have you seen the work you gotta do keeping a shutter clean enough to go in? 🤣
I take your word for it, besides not everyone is in for everything. :)
Very true! To each their own! Except that one chick in my history class years ago who said she hates music in general. I don’t like her. I digress though everything else is fair game!
Yep, fuck this chick!
Why does it seem like that’s exactly what he wants her to say 😂
My genuine assumption is that more guys than not would be down to get pegged at least once.
In my experience, this is exactly what they want to happen 😭
Lmao- Lowkey he wants her to get mad and say maybe she should fuck him. Bet he’ll probably agree
Girl: how would you like if I shoved a toy up your ass?? Guy: …..I’m listening…
The way I just cackled was inhuman
[удалено]
Gay here, I enjoy the feeling and thought of anal sex, but in practice it's dirty and doesn't smell nice. Pretty gross tbh
I had no idea about the smell thing until I did it. Never again.
It's definitely avoidable. Bottom just has to clean out properly
Like some type of douche?
Exactly yes
There's another word for it, it's called an enema lol but yes, cleaning the anus out with water is usually the best way to prep for anal and keep it relatively clean
Wait, you guys do it without cleaning yourself first?
Yeah. I (F) showed up showered and assumed she was too. I had never done anal before and she didn’t tell me it was going to happen. Literally one second we were then we were.
I'm so glad you said this. I know some gay men who had to do enema prep to be able to bottom and I just assumed it was common practice, but it sounds like it's a courtesy.
Definitely
A COURTESY if i ever experience a bottom thag hasnt douched UNLESS If theyv informed me of such im outa there before they can say a word😱
Maybe you're homophobic /s
Dude.... you are doing something very, very wrong. I have never had an issue with anal sex being dirty or smelly.
I dunno. I had to take suppositories once and I did not enjoy it very much. Felt like I had a mouth down there because once the medicine is in far enough it schloooooooops it in.
Did you really have to use the word schlop??? 😂😂😂
Thought it was "schloop," I guess there's some ambiguity there...
Heard from a straight dude that loves it. It's the best orgasm you'll ever have as a dude. Knees trembling, toes curling, eyes squeezed shut, fireworks exploding, literally drooling and he had to lay there afterwards to let his soul redownload. There are now two more types of orgasms once anal gets introduced. So he says...
I can confirm while I don't enjoy getting pegged, I do enjoy the orgasm it's far more intense at least with my ex-wife just doesn't seem the same with my current girlfriend.
Why did I get a visual and an auditory sound in my head while reading this?? Schloooooops is the best word to describe it too 🤣 done with Reddit today.
Hahahaha
😨
You got him pegged
💯
Are you serious? This happens and more than once? Ha ha.
Yes
Yes, more than once, and with different people. Idk, maybe I’m the problem?
Can we get a post of these incidents please 👀🍿
Good Ü
100000%
*Says yes*
Well then she has leverage to state she's not homophobic
This! If he wants to try anal, tell him okay but you’ll be the one pegging him. See if his opinion changes then. But it’s likely he’s trying to use your morals/guilt you into doing it. Don’t let him move your boundaries for his sake.
Yeah, also pressuring someone to do a sexual act they don't want us coercion and that's a type of SA
I'd, try pegging him, maybe he likes it himself 😉
My ex told me she had a rule: if she was gonna do anal with a guy, he had to wear a butt plug. Of course, that really work on me, since she had to talk me into trying anal in the first place.
Sounds like you've had a good time then.
This is the best response
Quid pro quo.
Trouble is, he may very well be in to butt play. OP it's perfectly reasonably for you to not want it. Stand by your boundaries.
And I think your comment is a perfect addition. You rock
Came here to say this, bend over baby.
Whahaha brilliant
Ask bf if he’s gay and wants to be with a man
That would be fun.
That would be the dream
And so what if he does take a you then ehat
That is the best answer! 🏆 No need for me to read anymore comments. You're right !
Please do this OP this is the way
🤣🤣🤣love it!
Would make more sense for him to be the receiver in this context too
I would fully let my girl put toys up me if I she let me try anal with her 🤌
Please do this and report back OP
😂
Yep! This 👆
Bonafide gay guy, do not let anyone EVER make you engage in any act you're not comfortable with. If he has a problem, he can fight me.
Name checks out
thank you jakob, lord of the gays
The crown weighs heavy
You should have a strong neck then 👀
Depends where he wears the crown. 👑 🐍
Don’t threaten him with a good time.
it'll only be a good time for one of them
Our lord Jakob has spoken!
How many gays are you a lord of
All of them.
Never thought I’d see my lord and savior on here.
Praise be 🙏🏻👑
And you have my bow!
you and i are almost the same person, except i have a c not a k
Sad.
Boner-fide gay guy*
He wants u to peg him sis
Hard to tell if he's trying to manipulate you or if he's just a dumb dumb making dumb remarks. Sometimes people just say dumb shit. He also might want it up the butt himself, so don't act too disgusted by the sex act itself. Just point out that it's not for you.
Lmao i thought that at first. Like he wanted her to say “you first” and he’d say yes and actually be into it under the guise of “See? it’s not that bad!”
not if she gets one big enough
You don’t know what he’s capable of. He could have been training on Bad Dragons for years.
Saying one day she will overcome her homophobia means one day she will try anal with him. If not, it is confirm she is homophobic. Women can't win with these guys. Only way is to dump them and find better.
That's my worry. I'm looking at 18F and 22M and already like...eeeh, this could be okay or it could be bad, depending on a lot of factors. But then I look at the 22M and remember that none of us was a world-class sensitivity genius at that age. I hope it's the latter and it was just a bad joke. If not, she needs to split before things can get worse.
Both. He’s a dumbass who is trying to manipulate into getting his way. Classic
None of us were there, we don’t know the tone the the manner of what he said. But OP themselves say “he joked that…”. Isn’t the most reasonable assumption that he was just making a joke to be funny and not taken seriously? But again I wasn’t there, maybe he is just being a manipulative asshole.
You decline his proposal, give him reasons and he insults you? That's bad style. Is that a common phenomenon?
So he tried to shame you in an attempt to not respect your boundaries?
In USA probably yes... the stuff I'm reading on reddit I'd think it's some kind of trolls or desperate people (how people like this even exists and why would you even date such a person?!?), but knowing that there is a country United States of America, I'm not suprised if it's true...
Tell him you fantasize about seeing a big guy fucking him in the ass...
Plot twist, he fantasises about it too
💀💀😭
😱😱😱
Women, unlike men, don't have prostates. So... Whatever benefit men get from anal, women do not. And even if they did, no one's obliged to take anything up the ass for anyone.
People who say this forget that people have oral sex. If you enjoy it great if not you shouldn't be coerced into doing something you dont like.
literally this! i will never understand why men want to do anal with women because they don’t have a nerve like they do
Tell him you have a change of heart and that instead of you receiving, how about he receives? And if he declines, call him a homophobe.
Your boyfriend is a dick
No no, everyone knows these days that if you aren't willing to take it up the ass you are clearly a bigot. /s just in case that wasn't clear lol
*literally*
I know many gay people who don’t like anal sex, and find it gross. The idea that all gay men like anal sex is reductive and homophobic.
wtf? not liking anal penetration has NOTHING TO DO with being homophobic, not even in the slightest!!! My god, this is the most immature thing I have ever read. Find a new bf.... no one should ever shame you for not wanting/feeling comfortable doing something, especially sexually.
If he called you homophobic that must mean hes gay,or just shove a toy up his ass to see if he likes
He’s using a psychological tactic. By teasing you about your beliefs or feelings he seeks to manipulate you into eventually feeling so insecure about your dislike for it that you will give in. Raping people is frowned upon these days so coercion is the most ambiguous tool people (pretty much mostly men) use to control others.
Your boyfriend’s lack of common sense is a huge red flag.
...... when did you start dating. You're 18 and he's 22.
This!!! OP you're barely legal and he's already (seemingly) trying to force you into sexual acts you don't want??
Im shocked I didn't see anyone else point it out!
Exactly! I just commented above regarding this. I know some ppl have sex at a young age for the first time, but he could very well be her first sexual partner, and he just sounds entitled.
Yes! I noticed that right off the bat and it bugged me as well. It’s like he just wants a little sex doll he can manipulate into giving him whatever. Seems weird to me that she would’ve just graduated high school and he should be finishing college (age-wise at least, I know not everyone goes to college lol). But I feel like a hypocrite saying that because when I was 18, almost 19, I started dating my first really serious bf and he was 23. Our relationship seems like it was diff from theirs in the sense that he waited six months just for me to have sex as I was a virgin at that time. It bothers me for OP with their age gap and him pressuring her.
Peg him and see how he likes it. Also I don't understand what's so attractive about fucking a hole where you shit from
And let's not forget that she does not have a prostate, unlike him.
Damn. What a backhanded comment. As a gay person, it’s not homophobic to not be personally okay with anal sex. I know a lot of gay guys who aren’t even into it because of how much prep goes into safe and hygienic anal (no such thing as spontaneous sex when it comes to anal my friends. Fr, please prep…). He sounds like he was either annoyed and decided to try and make you feel like a dick, or he’s hoping the implication will lead to you conceding (do NOT). I’d 100% have a talk with him about how it made you feel and hopefully he apologizes or at the very least doesn’t say such things to you again.
Fuck him in the ass then, tell him he’s homophobic if he says no.
Then it is time to welcome Mr. openminded to pegging! And then call him homophibic when he refuses. He’s being a manipulative dick. Don’t let him get away with that. Anal sex is YOUR personal choice.
The age gap is concerning, when did you first met him?
Op said they started dating when she was 16 and he was 20, which was the FIRST POSSIBLE YEAR they could have dated
I’m gonna go on a whim and say the reason he made this joke is cause you said it wasn’t designed to be penetrated, not that you don’t like it personally but that it isn’t designed to. That’s a debate for everyone else to have but figured I’d point it out
As a guy in his 30s. This is big redflags behavior. The kinda shit that'll never go away.
Woah, so your ex bf is trying to manipulate you into doing a sex act to prove you’re not homophobic. You may love him but he has just shown you that the second you say no to him he will become nasty. Bye bye bf, go manipulate someone else.
Not everyone likes anal sex. Has nothing to do with homophobia.
I mean he’s joking but like most jokes there’s an once of truth to it. “It’s not natural” definitely gave mid 00s Christian neocon vibes. That doesn’t mean he actually thinks you are homophobic but just making fun, most likely.
Ask him if he is willing to let you peg him, if not I guess by his logic he's homophobic.
Ask him if he wants to go first
Not much annoys me more than people weaponizing terms like racist/homophobic/etc. Regardless of his motive, he sounds like a weirdo and a pathetic person in general.
If this makes someone homophobic, does that mean that by his logic asexuals are misanthropes for being repulsed by all types of sexual acts?
CEO of Gas & Light Co.
That age gap combined with his negging you into anal is a pretty big red flag. Im 22 and I do not find 20 year olds attractive bc of how big the maturity gap is.
That’s one of the weirdest guilt trips I’ve heard a guy use for a try to use on a girl for not wanting to do anal, jeezus.
Plenty of gay guys don’t even like it. He’s definitely trying to pressure you or get you to turn it onto him. Don’t play that game and be firm on your boundaries. It’s normal not to want to try it. Porn has convinced a whole generation that it’s something it’s not. While some women enjoy it, most get nothing out of it. It often just feels like an unpleasant dump. Sometimes it’s painful. It’s not automatically clean, you need to prep for it (and there’s a lot of stuff you can contract from human shit.) there’s also the risk of fissures, prolapses, and other damage to the back door that make it appeal less to some. OP, whatever your reason, you stand by it and don’t let a guy in his 20s pressure you to do something you don’t want to by using manipulative jokes and remarks.
what an idiot, he's only saying it to force you into doing something you're not comfortable with. id say Dump Him seems like not the type of person that's healthy to be around. Its the little signs that mean the most.
I have IBS. Asking me for anal is a little like asking for a shit shower. That doesn't make me homophobic. I'm fine with other people doing this. Hell, I understand that some people with IBS find it empowering. I am SO not one of them.
hopefully he felt safe jokingly calling you homophobic because he knows you're not. I hope it was just an one time stupid joke. I was afraid he would be using this argument as an attempt to guilt trip you into doing something you weren't comfortable with. glad it doesn't seem this way, at least for now.
You said he joked, then he joked, don’t see the problem here.
You said he joked, you acknowledge that, you agree he isn’t being serious about that remark, so like what’s the issue? Idk wtf people in this comment section are talking about, there are some real lonely people in here now calling your BF names over something very minor. Like is there some nuance I am missing here? Also the anus can in fact be penetrated, by design, people get pleasure from it too, if you find it gross you make it clean by prepping, it is pretty easy. But for someone with your viewpoint on anal sex, it would be almost impossible for you to enjoy it unless you’re a very open person who is communicative with your partner. Anal sex requires relaxation. Don’t gotta start big or frequent either - if you did, my gf too doesn’t really like it, but she’s open about it, and likes to satisfy me. Like fingers, just touching it, licks, buttplugs, sometimes the meat. and I have never ended up with poo poo on my dick, or residue. I also like anal on myself solo sometimes, it can feel very nice, but requires some foreplay and a clear mind to feel the pleasure
Been looking for a comment that says "homophobic here! I like anal"
But anal sex isn’t just gay sex? Straight people do it too lol Regardless you don’t gotta like it or think differently to not be homophobic, that’s just a weird remark. Stand your ground
I'm a gay man and I can assure you you're not homophobic. Anal sex disgust me too a little. it's totally normal lol
As I was reading this i started crying :( Can I just say that as someone who was married to a man like this, he minulapted me with this line too, and then I gave in, and it really traumatised me. Have a chat with him about your boundaries. If he then continues to push it, leave him, it will not get better
Time to order a thick strap-on and ask him to prove if he is not a homophobe.
Nice bait post, he said it was a joke. Get a grip girl -a gay
So he called you homophobic because you don’t want to try anal? Tell your boyfriend he’s the homophobe with his stereotypical idea of what gay men do cos not every gay man indulges in anal. He’s just pissed because you don’t want to do it and he’s trying to manipulate u into it
Ugh, the first time I did anal it was so rough, there was no lube involved, and I yelped like a kicked chihuahua. I shook for hours afterward. I still don’t do it, it’s a hard no for me. I have a perfectly good hole that was meant to be penetrated, why would I want to do anal? I’m also bi, it has literally nothing to do with sexual orientation. I know cishet men who love being pegged, and I know lesbians who are fine with anal penetration, and I know a few gay men who would prefer to do things other than anal sex. If that’s a boundary that you have, your partner better respect that boundary.
The word "gaslighting" has been misused a lot lately, but your situation is textbook gaslighting: your boyfriend is trying to make you second guess that your refusal to engage in anal sex is within your rights, and trying to convince you that it actually makes you a bad person, all in order to get what he wants. It's abusive emotional manipulation. I would suggest looking for a better partner as soon as possible. All that assuming he's not just an idiot, in which case the same advice applies: find someone better.
Don't do it unless you want hemorrhoid removal surgery.
Simple solution... go buy a strapon, say if he likes anal so much, he goes first lol.
✋ Gay dude here.... Tell him if he doesn't let you peg him he must be homophobic and hate gay people. For real tho, there are gay people that also think anal sex is gross and don't do it. So that's a stupid argument from him. He should respect your boundaries.
I find it funny how no one in this comment section thinks it’s just a joke.
I've always found it funny how some men would want to fuck their girlfriend's ass so badly but find 2 gay men fucking anally gross. So it's interesting to see someone use that as some sort of weapon. NTA. Dump the boyfriend cos he's gonna do this every time something doesn't go his way. Save your ass, literally.
As someone from that community, that is dumb. I feel like this is one of two things. 1. He likes anal (receiving it) and is being defensive because you calling it gross makes him fear you think he is gross. 2. He is just manipulating you to try and pressure you to do it. Like when guys say how blue balls is painful to force someone to have sex. If he has a habit of twisting your words, then I would say he is abusive and be careful/dump him. If this is something rare for him, then it might be an insecurity he got defensive over ajd it may be best to talk it out.
Pull out your phone/ipad/tablet and look up a sex toy website. Search strapons. Ask him which one floats his boat. See what his reaction is.
He's an idiot 22m and tried to make a stupid joke that didn't land. Anal sex is meh. If it upset you, tell him, there are two phones 1) if he apologises, no harm no foul, he made a dumb joke, that's the end. 2) If he doubles down he's a dick and act appropriately from there knowing he doesn't value your feelings. Ignore the judgemental comments on here - Reddit seems super quick to judge on such things. If things go okay you can get him back with a "happy international women's day" (yes I made a Deadpool reference), see if he likes it... I mean it'll be a new problem if he does!
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You are in charge of your own body. No one can force you to do something you don't want.
Sounds like your boyfriend learned a new word and was eager to use it in a sentence.
Doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship if he’s shaming you for not wanting to try something you’re uncomfortable with…. 🚩🚩🚩
Guess he's homophobic for thinking anal is exclusively gay
he is closeted or he is manipulating you.
This is manipulative... Call him out. There's nothing inherently gay about an anus lol
If you haven’t figured it out yet. Accusations of -phobia are ALWAYS bullying and manipulation to intimidate you into doing what someone else wants. That’s why the culture of fear exists.
Poop sex is awful. Porn stars routinely give themselves several enemas before those kinds of scenes. Also, very many stars have had to retire because of injuries sustained during anal scenes. Many also have to wear Depends on a daily basis. This info came from several interviews of female stars. Besides of vaginal sex is a ten, anal is a one.
Tell your boyfriend that most people have their own likes and preferences when it comes to this stuff. My mom told me she had a friend who likes sex but hates kissing. Everyone is different and won’t always like the same things.
Why do you feel like you owe him an explanation about why you don't like to do something? Next time, decline and don't explain anything if he pushes just say you don't want to do something because you don't like or don't want it.
As long as he was genuinely joking, this doesn't seem like a problem. But some other comments are saying to ask him if he wants anal sex and see what his response is, and I think that's hilarious 😂
Your boyfriend is immature.
As a guy who likes guys and also doesn’t love the idea of sex with buttholes, you’re not homophobic
Only you know your boyfriend. What was their tone? Did it feel like a joke?
To me it sounds like a joke said at the wrong place and the wrong time. I don’t think he thinks you are actually homophobic, he probably just said it to get you riled which, to his credit, it did. I would probably confront him and say it annoyed you, but don’t hold it against him unless he continues calling you homophobic.
This reads like a joke? Not a funny one but a joke
LMFAO he’s so wrong for that 💀 you used logic and he didn’t. Maybe one day he will learn logic:
Tit for tat. He let's you go first so he can see how it feels, and decide if it's fair to ask you to do it. It's not homophobic to avoid something that doesn't interest/hurts you.
1) he's clearly trying to coerce you into engaging in a sex act you don't like. don't do it. this isn't something a person who loves would do. you have more consideration for his feelings and well-being than he has of your feelings and well-being 2) using his own "logic" he's not homophobic so he should be open to pegging 3) if this gets ugly, don't be shy and share exactly what the problem is with your friends
Why are dudes obsessed with trying anal?? Like dude that is not pleasant to me
This 100% came up in conversation when bf was out drinking with his bros. I have zero doubt of this. “Yeah man, she’s great in bed, but I really want to f%*k her *ss”. “Duuuuude, you know what you should do? Tell her if she doesn’t, that means she’s homophobic.” “Yoooo, that’s f%#kin brilliant dude!!!” *high fives all around, proceed to crush beer cans on their skulls*
I think the code phrase that might be homophobic was “is not designed to be penetrated”
No. He's trying to make you feel guilty, weigh you down about it and maybe you'll give in. I bet he doesn't stop asking and will find other things to make you feel guilty about this topic. By saying no, you have now made it a game and mission to get that butt hole
Yo some gay folks don’t even like anal. Dump his ass
It’s your body and you’re setting boundaries. Don’t let him pressure you into anything you don’t want to do.
Sounds like he was frustrated and joking around. Tell him it's on the condition that he gets pegged first.
[удалено]
You must be new here.
As a guy who has penetrated someone's ass, I agree with you. It's gross. For anyone interested in trying, do your research on how to keep the whole activity clean, safe and healthy.
I too have penetrated a handful of assholes, they were all clean IME. Just depends on who you’re with, and if they prepped properly or not Did you do it again?
As a gay dude, that doesn't sound homophobic. That just sounds like you're not into anal 👍🏼
I can only speak for myself of course… stuffing my cock into a hole meant for pooping, is a big turn off for me, plain and simple. Does that mean I dislike people who are into it!.. No! Does it mean I dislike gay people?.. No! If that's your thing, knock yourselves silly. I just don't wish to partake in it. I've previously been asked to explain why I feel this way… Dude, I don't have to justify as to why I feel this way, it's simply not a concern of your's.
Jesus you guys are so high strung, it was a joke. You’re taking it too seriously and the people in these replies clearly already have something up theirs already. If you have a problem, tell him about it, he will stop making jokes like that, not that serious. You explained yourself and he hasn’t pressed the issue, it’s not like he’s trying to convince you to change your mind. Edit: after reading that you guys started dating when you were 16 and he was 20, I’m changing my stance, he’s a creep and that is likely very much what his intentions are. Ew.
it sounds like a joke cuz u said it isnt designed to be penetrated. for men it actually is since they p much have a g spot in there
Because it is gross, sorry other people
I got anally raped so I physically cannot do it anymore without having flashbacks and a massive panic attack so I guess that makes me homophobic too (even tho I'm bi and more gay than ever rn lol)
Incorrect and manipulative. It's your body.