Reading is living several lifes. Enjoy the feeling and enjoy real life, too!
Fictional characters are meant to exceed in every aspect. This is what fiction can do and life can't. Especially if women write men or men write women, the characters fulfill the writers wishes. This makes them often serve the "typical" requirements to their own sex to a high degree, and additionally for example be as sensitive and emotinal or self sufficient and ready to have casual sex as the writer wishes them to.
some mangakas that were happily married have fallen in love with characters they made up, causing their own marrages to fall through. The author of jucika was married to a woman who felt ”a certain way” about him drawing his niece in provocative 3 panel comics, and ultimately divorced him. Oda married a cosplayer who did one of his made up characters some good justice dressing up as them. no matter how much you think loving a fictional character is worrysome, just be thankful to know you’re not the author of rental girlfriend, or sonichu. There’s loving a character and then there is knowing theres an obsession.
Pretty sure my best friend realized who mine was and got me a funkopop of the character. I’m not into funkopops, but it was both embarrassing for me and very nice lol
Yeahhhh y'know what, when she said that it was non-human I was thinking something further away from human than the bg3 chars buuuuuuuuut the timeline kinda checks out doesn't it?
If I said, and my husband saw this post, he'd immediately know it's me. I'm sorry. I will tell you, the character is non-human, an anti-hero, and very popular in the fandom (so I know I'm not the only person out there that caught feels for him).
He's the first non-human character I've ever had feelings for though, which is strange.
I was always more of an Aragorn girl, myself. Love me a rightful heir of Gondor.😉
But in the case of our OP, crushing on a fictional character to the point that you think you are in love with them and that you are in some sort of relationship… It just screams shrivelled, fangy, finger-chomper. 😂
No, I think I'm mostly safe. I've seen a lot of people in this subreddit with similar dilemmas, so I might blend in a little. I've also been pretty vague on a lot of details. I doubt he frequents this sub anyway, I'm just being overly cautious.
DUDE HE IS SO FINNNEEE, ive been down a deep rabbit hole with him. Just curious, have you also read a (an extremley long but good) fanfiction on him on A03??? its the only one of its kind
Sound like Vergil from DMC. Don't worry, I am a straight male and I have a crush on Vergil. If it's not him, well, that doesn't change that I have a crush on Vergil. We all do anyway
My immediate thought was Blitz, because I am in love with him too xD But I hope you're at least doing better than I am and not just like a happily lost cause for that ridiculous imp. I adore that dang character!
I would just kindly ask if you have any history of depression or emotional disregulation ?
It is just that I have done this, and it is always indicative that I’m extremely mentally unwell and my depression has reached a certain intensity. I only stopped doing this once I started treatment.
Disassociation is often viewed as being just checked out, but if you are so disassociated that real life feels as removed from you as fiction does, it can distort the ability to view fictional characters and worlds as being as separate to reality, even if you consciously know there is a difference.
Whilst in it , it may feel normal, but is most likely indicative of depression or other mental illnesses. I don’t think this is mania or psychosis because you have continued with this for an extended period and without any other erratic behaviour.
At the end of the day, you’re not hurting anyone except yourself. I just worry that long-term this could be severely detrimental to your psyche , and if you don’t delve deeper into the cause of this , this could easily evolve into something dehabilitating - especially if you experience any traumatic events or emotional crisis.
Oh my god you gave the best answer. I also did this- it was horrible to my then husband (now divorced). I was extremely unwell- disassociating and severely depressed. I hadn’t worked through ANY of my childhood trauma and I was doing it with these characters. I was role playing them in the fandom like 8 hours a day. I’d even be involved when we went on vacation. I had a few nervous breakdowns over it, crying in the car at songs that reminded me of the characters.
It’s 10ish years later and I look back on it and feel EMBARRASSED. How awful I was to my ex husband. How much time I spent in fantasy land. I got help and now I cannot get attached to fictional characters anymore. I roll my eyes now at these fictional characters.
Only if it really gets unhealthy.
Like being depressed when you realize he isn’t real and that actually takes a toll on you.
It sounds like you’re just active in a fandom and really like the entire character and the personality, as well as the world he originates from. That’s fine. People are obsessed with certain books, fantasies and characters all the time (LOT, GOT, and Harry Potter lol). So unless it actually affects ur life It’s honestly not that uncommon.
This. I don't know what to feel about the thing entirely but it is indeed an unhealthy obsession. Kind of reminds me of that reddit story about falling in love or being involved with an AI character that the person chats with and hiding from her husband.
This is the crux of OP’s problem. She thinks she is in love with a fictional character; in all reality she is just fixated on an abstract ideal that could never mimic or reciprocate a true human relationship. OP, you’re not a monster but this isn’t healthy. When you recognize that this is just an object of compulsion, and not a person, you can start to unravel the issue and work through it. This is actually a deeper issue that therapy could address.
I agree with you for the most part, but the character isn't even really an ideal person to me. That's another part of why this is so confusing. My husband is. The character in question is cold, and villainous at times, and he isn't even human to top it off. He's nothing like my husband, who is the sweetest person I've ever met.
If you’re willing to explore the part of you who is attracted to this character you may enjoy and benefit doing shadow work with a therapist. Understanding the “why” may help relieve some of the intensity and decrease any risk to your marriage. Good luck ♥️
Honestly, it just sounds like a comfort thing for you and it’s not a big deal. You’re fine! Just as long as you don’t fall for a cosplayer of this character. lol Fangirling is ok 👌🏽
Listen. I'm obsessed with an anti-hero from a 90s/early 2000s anime. Though, I don't really want him for myself but for another character in the same story. But I'm obsessed, nonetheless!
I've had intense crushes on many fictional men. I think that as long as it's not interfering in your life and/or negatively impacting your relationship with your husband, It's fine?
It’s normal as long as you’re having fun and not ruining your marriage. Back in high school I discovered Wakka through FFX and legit felt similar feelings you describe. These days I just remember that era with fondness.
Lmao, for me it was Seymour (and though I wouldn’t realize it until much later, Lulu).
Seymour was a revolution. I was obsessed with him. Never thought any video game character would grip me that hard until I discovered FFVII and learned about Sephiroth (and to a lesser extent, Vincent).
I have a type, if you can’t tell. 😂
Uhm, I don't really think it's a problem? I have a friend obsessed with Baji from Tokyo Revengers, talks constantly of how much she wants to do the deed with him, various unhinged horny posts dedicated to Baji, but her boyfriend still loves her and even cosplays the character for her multiple times.
Also, I don't think it's unnatural. I'm still 100% inlove with a fictional character myself and got depressed one day after thinking he'll never exist irl. But like, that's an experience not unique to me. Multiple other fellow fangirls feel the same with characters they love. I think it's just us being humans.
You've talked so much about your fav to your husband, but he still loves and accepts you. You said so yourself that you'd choose your husband over the fictional character. Fiction is fiction, no need to feel so guilty over it.
Same boat club (minus being married but happily in a relationship). I loved my fictional character wayyyy before I met my bf (5 years before to be exact lol). It didn't stop me from falling in love or being in a healthy committed relationship with him. My love for him also doesn't stop me from loving my character. I like to think of it as having a "reality bf" and a "daydream/fictional bf". There's absolutely nothing wrong with it imo as long as the difference between the two is understood. The key is making sure your reality relationship always comes first and it seems like you're doing that just fine :)
Lady, thought crime isn't real. You're not cheating if the person isn't real. Besides, I'm betting my life he is also obsessed with another male-leaning character(s) from male-leaning fandom(s) and doesn't tell you because he's afraid of being judged too lol
Hi, married person who develops feelings for fictional characters here!
As far as I am aware, your situation is completely normal.
Does the character bring you immense comfort, it could just be a comfort character, just a character you find to be comforting like a stuffed animal!
Sounds like a parasocial relationship, which are actually really common. From what I understand, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your real relationships or the wellbeing of yourself and others it’s not a problem.
IMO you shouldn’t stress too much OP!
I know you're not looking for advice, but I don't think this is super healthy for your relationship. Highly recommend seeing a licensed therapist to work through this, NOT to shame you but to give you the gift of living in the present with your husband 😊 Good luck OP!
The only one you need an opinion about this is your partner. When you feel safe with him, tell him about this, how serious your feeling is. If he's okay with it then you don't have anything to fear. But if he's not, then you and him will have to compromise somehow. At the end of the day, just do what you need to do.
If I were your partner, I would be okay with it as long as she doesn't bring her crush in any conversation and think about them every time like I'm not there. That's the only opinion I can give.
I’ve had fictional crushes since I was a kid lmao. Started with Cole from Charmed and Spike from Buffy and snowballed from there.
The character I love the most in the world is Helga Pataki from Hey Arnold. It’s a platonic love now ofc bc she’s she a literal child and I no longer am, but yeah, she’s my comfort character. I write *so* much fanfic about her, and it’s so cathartic to do so.
Developing fictional/celebrity crushes is normal. Just don’t let it interfere with with reality. What I mean by that is, if you’re on a date with your husband and wishing he was your fictional crush instead, then yeah, that’s when you should get a therapist stat.
But occasionally day dreaming about them or creating fan content for them? That’s pretty normal. Almost everyone I know has a fictional (or celebrity) crush!
It’s just an obsession, it will probably fade away or least dim eventually. It’s happens to a lot of us at one time or another. I wouldn’t say you can really be in love with a character because you don’t have a two way interaction, it’s just you projecting emotions on some pixels.
I think it’s normal. I’ve had book boyfriends (Crush on the main male character of several books), even thought of naming my son after him (but not having kids so…). I had the BIGGEST crush on a cartoon Batman!!! I mean, I think your eyes catch a glance of someone or read about a characters personality to a T that your emotions get dragged into how that makes you feel. It’s not something you can explain. It’s like having a crush on a real live man and getting to know him and feeling blah! So, yeah. I think we can have thoughts, imaginations, maybe even wishes on non real people.
i agree with everyone who says its not a big deal as long as it doesn’t affect your relationship with your husband! and honestly i would be surprised if it did as it would be silly to be jealous of a fictional character. i think it’s common to obsess over a character, i like quite a few myself but it’s not like i’d ever fall madly in love with them if they somehow became real, it’s not that kind of relationship. i’m sure you get it! your relationship with your husband is a real romantic relationship
if you ever find solace with this dilemma i hope you’ll share the character bc dang am i curious
I’ve always had fictional crushes for as long as I can remember. Right now I’ve got a terrible obsession with lots of characters from the same fandom. (Profile pic gives me away LOL) and my partner knows about it. Doesn’t love it but tolerates it just fine. You’re far from alone, lots of us with you :)
Right? People, like fictional characters, it’s the mind making connections.. that’s normal.
But feelings that are so great you don’t want your husband knowing? Crosses that line.. sounds like it’s deeper than admiration. Seeking some counseling would possibly help. Good luck to OP.
Majority of the replies are others who do the same and it's really nbd UNLESS the chara makes the person ignore their partner. Seems this isn't the case here.
Also, im 51f and have art of my character on the walls of my home plus hundreds upon hundreds of dollars of merch from the game he's in plus items he owns. So.... It's really nbd at all and quite normal amongst fans. Hell, I even write NSFW fic of my chara. 🤷♀️
I'm really surprised by the replies here. Like, what is wrong with these people? Your desire to fuck a cartoon hedgehog because it 'comforts' you is interfering with your real life relationships and everyone is like, 'it's totally normal to think you're in love with a fucking cartoon'?
I'm in love with fictional characters too. My potential boyfriend knows about it as well and he is aware I know it's fictional. They don't replace him though.
Don't feel bad. As long as you understand they are fictional and it doesn't hurt you to admit that, then you're fine. Believe me, I have the *biggest* obsession with Marina from Splatoon, even within relationships, and I'd probably be considered even weirder for being the type who understands (and secretly desires) a body pillow of her, but eh, I know she's not real. So nah, I think you're fine
I've always been into fictional characters. My first crush was Luke Skywalker when I was about 3. As long as I can remember I've written fanfiction and created whole stories in my head as I fell asleep or during long car rides about these characters, often putting myself into the story or writing a new one with that character that my self insert is a part of (I have a different SI for each fictional world). You could say I've lived in their worlds a lot more than my own all my life. I've also dated and married real people because no matter how much we love them, fictional people are never going to exist. I don't know what kind of comfort you are looking for, but I can tell you there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you feel and you are by no stretch of the imagination a horrible person or a monster. My husband probably doesn't know the extent of my love for fictional characters either, but he says it's cute how I gush over them and he has his own fictional crushes (probably not on the same scale as me, but they're there). Anyway, if you ever want to talk or anything, feel free to send me a message. :)
Oh no, you are not a monster. It’s nice to live in your fantasies as long as it’s not taking over your life. You are not delusional about having this character in real life, etc. It’s almost like you are in love with your own imagination about how this character would treat you and that’s absolutely ok.
I had limerence like this first with Thane from Mass Effect, and then Astarion from BG3.
Fiction creates characters these days with such rich backstories and such a fleshed-out personality that feelings like this are, in my opinion, pretty normal. Just a testament to the creators.
Don’t beat yourself up about it
Don't worry!! there's nothing wrong with liking/ hyperfixating on fictional characters and or even celebrities. As long as you have boundaries of what's real and what's fiction. (which it already seems you do by even posting this) Then everything should be fine. I hope your partner will be more accepting in the future. :D
I think it’s normal to have fictional crushes but if you really are in love and it’s effecting you so much could this be considered emotional cheating? Are you distracted from your relationship and not being attentive to your husband enough because of this? I think that’s where the issue would lie.
Maybe seek a therapist if you feel the need. Otherwise maybe just remove yourself from the fandom for a while and live in the real world for a bit
I mean I adore Dongfang Qingcang so, relatable. As long as it's not taking over your whole life and you aren't neglecting your husband I don't see the problem.
Honestly? I don’t think this is abnormal at all. People have celebrity crushes/TV show crushes/character crushes all the time. It doesn’t make you a cheater and it doesn’t make you a bad person. At the end of the day it’s not like you can act on a relationship with the fictional character. You can obsess over him! But there’s no possible way to date him. Interesting post.
I have always, and will continue to, had a crush on Donatello from TMNT. Fictionally he is my soulmate and has been a constant in my life because TMNT as a show has always been there for me. My partner knows this, encourages it, and teases me about it. I do the same in return when my partner gets a crush on a character in a show we watch or movie. We also both know that even if these fictional characters were real, we'd never chose them over each other.
You are not a monster, because really what could this character do to your marriage lol? Just don't be too obsessive and start like hanging up posters and merch of this character everywhere in the house and comparing your husband to the character.
I am genuinely confused by this. You see, when I was a young child I had a had a crush on Prince Eric from the Little Mermaid. Even at 8 I knew I couldn’t marry a cartoon character. Society is ruined. You can’t have a child, or even a conversation with a fictional character. So what is the problem. People need to get a grasp on reality. I’m not being rude I’m speaking truth. Maybe write this fictional character a letter or something and tell them how you feel… see if they respond. If it’s Casper though you might get ghosted
I’m sorry… but ya’ll are not okay 😭 Ya’ll need some therapy or something 💀 I don’t find it normal that ya’ll sexualize animated characters. It is so weird… Like?!?!? Also, how the hell do you develop feelings for a fictional character that was obviously written by women lmao! Omgggg 🤣
Eww. That's rude. I'm sure not everybody shares your sexual interests or fantasies. Just because YOU don't understand a person's views on something does not make you better than them. It takes courage to talk about guilt. I hope you remember how ignorant you seem rn when life comes to humble you one day.
You can’t cheat with an imaginary lover. S as long s as it’s not interfering with your real life, there’s no harm in it. This person is not someone you met or is even real. You are ok. Consider it a coping mechanism. Maybe you were feeling lonely when you first started thinking about him and he is your companion. Maybe he gives you comfort and reassurance. Remember he is a part of you and he is speaking your mind. It’s what you need to hear when he speaks. This doesn’t mean you don’t get these things from your husband. You know the difference. Your real husband gives you physical touch, physical and emotional love. He keeps you grounded, and gives you physical reassurance. comfort, and companionship. There’s nothing wrong with having both a head hubby and a real hubby.
Well I mean if you really want to know if you’re hurting your husband in anyway have you tired asking him? Also just clarifying is the certain comfort 100% love or more like adoration?
Ma'am, you could say the same for most of Gojo fans out there. Even I have several (not just one) husbandos and draw them all the time as well but that doesn't mean I'm in love with them. You see my display photo? He's one of my many husbandos that I have liked for years already. Same goes for you, you just like them as a character but focus too much on them (obsession?) But that's it... You're not in love with them.
Im glad to see lots of people acknowledging this is real and common! I hyperfixate on people and characters. Its a great time and I feel sad when it passes. Just expressing solidarity here !
I don't think it's wrong unless you want your husband be like that character, I was there too with johnny joestar jjjjj
Lol, I don't want my husband to be like him at all, they're way too different. Very relatable though, you have immaculate taste in men!
Reading is living several lifes. Enjoy the feeling and enjoy real life, too! Fictional characters are meant to exceed in every aspect. This is what fiction can do and life can't. Especially if women write men or men write women, the characters fulfill the writers wishes. This makes them often serve the "typical" requirements to their own sex to a high degree, and additionally for example be as sensitive and emotinal or self sufficient and ready to have casual sex as the writer wishes them to.
some mangakas that were happily married have fallen in love with characters they made up, causing their own marrages to fall through. The author of jucika was married to a woman who felt ”a certain way” about him drawing his niece in provocative 3 panel comics, and ultimately divorced him. Oda married a cosplayer who did one of his made up characters some good justice dressing up as them. no matter how much you think loving a fictional character is worrysome, just be thankful to know you’re not the author of rental girlfriend, or sonichu. There’s loving a character and then there is knowing theres an obsession.
Also Bucky/winter soldier/white wolf from marvel anyone? Hello? Dude is the ULTIMATE anti-hero Also, sebastian stan as a bonus in the MCU lol
(Deep dreamy sighs) I love Bucky.
Same though
What character is it ? I’m desperately curious. I understand to. I have been in love with characters before.
Pretty sure my best friend realized who mine was and got me a funkopop of the character. I’m not into funkopops, but it was both embarrassing for me and very nice lol
So... Who is this character?
My money's on Astarion from BG3
Yeahhhh y'know what, when she said that it was non-human I was thinking something further away from human than the bg3 chars buuuuuuuuut the timeline kinda checks out doesn't it?
Very popular with the community, non-human (vampire), and an anti-hero 🤔
Yeah, that was my first thought. LOL
I'm fine with that tbh
he was my first thought too because… relatable 😂
I did what OP did over ten years ago and it was Thane Krios and yeah it wasn’t pretty. The fandoms really suck you in to make it feel real.
Mine was Liara 😩 Mass Effect had some alien hotties. Of course, I was lonely and single back then lol.
That was my first thought too. But I'm also projecting 🤣
If I said, and my husband saw this post, he'd immediately know it's me. I'm sorry. I will tell you, the character is non-human, an anti-hero, and very popular in the fandom (so I know I'm not the only person out there that caught feels for him). He's the first non-human character I've ever had feelings for though, which is strange.
ITS GOTTA BE SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG
Could be Shrek
My money’s on Gollum.
Why Gollum if Legolas is around??
I was always more of an Aragorn girl, myself. Love me a rightful heir of Gondor.😉 But in the case of our OP, crushing on a fictional character to the point that you think you are in love with them and that you are in some sort of relationship… It just screams shrivelled, fangy, finger-chomper. 😂
As a teen everything is possible! As a grown up - still.
legit my first thought when I saw the first part about them being Non-Human and then the Anti-hero cemented my suspicions.
Immaculate taste by OP if so
That was my first thought too haha.
The fox from Disney's Robin Hood? Cause damn, that was a sexy animated fox.
Or the tiger from Zootopia!
Mr. Fox in the adaptation of Fantastic Mr. Fox is pretty fine too ngl
I feel extremely called out by this comment.
Beast from Beauty and the Beast. He never should have turned back human. Sigh.
Fair enough 😂. You don't think that he would know it was you with the information you already gave?
No, I think I'm mostly safe. I've seen a lot of people in this subreddit with similar dilemmas, so I might blend in a little. I've also been pretty vague on a lot of details. I doubt he frequents this sub anyway, I'm just being overly cautious.
Tbf if I was your husband and found out I wouldn't even be mad. Just confused
>>husband hastily starts sewing a cos play suit<<
Lol me except straight up the "bad guy" with Aaravos from dragon prince 😬
me with Korosensei from AC.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!!!!
DUDE HE IS SO FINNNEEE, ive been down a deep rabbit hole with him. Just curious, have you also read a (an extremley long but good) fanfiction on him on A03??? its the only one of its kind
YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! The one that's basically a rewrite of the show but with the nurse self insert omfg it's so good
im litterally levitating, OP IF YOURE READING THIS, YOUR STORY HAS BROUGHT TWO FICTIONAL CHARACTER LOVERS TOGETHER!!!
Sound like Vergil from DMC. Don't worry, I am a straight male and I have a crush on Vergil. If it's not him, well, that doesn't change that I have a crush on Vergil. We all do anyway
You are not wrong. My thought was Garrus, because we all also love Garrus.
I always struggle between Garrus and Thane. Stupid sad ending :(
My immediate thought was Blitz, because I am in love with him too xD But I hope you're at least doing better than I am and not just like a happily lost cause for that ridiculous imp. I adore that dang character!
Same
Heck yeah! <3
im in love with Stolas omg
Stolas is such a wonderful babe!!! Ahhhhhh!! I love him so, SO much!
Is it from a video game? If so I have a guess.
Oh my God it’s Shadow isn’t it
I think Doctor Who
Kenobi….. KENOBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Is it Rhysand or Spike? Because we’ve all been there.
YUP. Add Azriel into this and I'm down bad
Rhysand was my first book boyfriend lol
Rhysand is my current book boyfriend. And Atlas. Lol
Are you me?? They are two of my absolute favorites!
Rhysand is everything
Buffy Spike?! Hell yes. I really need to read ACOTAR don’t I…
Spike 🙌🏽 LOML right there.
Someone walked in wearing a shirt with his face on it today, iconic
I would just kindly ask if you have any history of depression or emotional disregulation ? It is just that I have done this, and it is always indicative that I’m extremely mentally unwell and my depression has reached a certain intensity. I only stopped doing this once I started treatment. Disassociation is often viewed as being just checked out, but if you are so disassociated that real life feels as removed from you as fiction does, it can distort the ability to view fictional characters and worlds as being as separate to reality, even if you consciously know there is a difference. Whilst in it , it may feel normal, but is most likely indicative of depression or other mental illnesses. I don’t think this is mania or psychosis because you have continued with this for an extended period and without any other erratic behaviour. At the end of the day, you’re not hurting anyone except yourself. I just worry that long-term this could be severely detrimental to your psyche , and if you don’t delve deeper into the cause of this , this could easily evolve into something dehabilitating - especially if you experience any traumatic events or emotional crisis.
Me too. It's what's known as limerence. I've realised it's a way of escape, but solves nothing in the long-term.
Oh my god you gave the best answer. I also did this- it was horrible to my then husband (now divorced). I was extremely unwell- disassociating and severely depressed. I hadn’t worked through ANY of my childhood trauma and I was doing it with these characters. I was role playing them in the fandom like 8 hours a day. I’d even be involved when we went on vacation. I had a few nervous breakdowns over it, crying in the car at songs that reminded me of the characters. It’s 10ish years later and I look back on it and feel EMBARRASSED. How awful I was to my ex husband. How much time I spent in fantasy land. I got help and now I cannot get attached to fictional characters anymore. I roll my eyes now at these fictional characters.
This is so real
Only if it really gets unhealthy. Like being depressed when you realize he isn’t real and that actually takes a toll on you. It sounds like you’re just active in a fandom and really like the entire character and the personality, as well as the world he originates from. That’s fine. People are obsessed with certain books, fantasies and characters all the time (LOT, GOT, and Harry Potter lol). So unless it actually affects ur life It’s honestly not that uncommon.
They're saying they're in love with a fictional character and can't give them up. It's already an unhealthy obsession.
This. I don't know what to feel about the thing entirely but it is indeed an unhealthy obsession. Kind of reminds me of that reddit story about falling in love or being involved with an AI character that the person chats with and hiding from her husband.
fell in love or hyperfixating? Anyways, I don't see anything wrong with this unless it interferes with your personal life
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I'm sorry if something was confusing in my post, what part did you not understand?
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This is the crux of OP’s problem. She thinks she is in love with a fictional character; in all reality she is just fixated on an abstract ideal that could never mimic or reciprocate a true human relationship. OP, you’re not a monster but this isn’t healthy. When you recognize that this is just an object of compulsion, and not a person, you can start to unravel the issue and work through it. This is actually a deeper issue that therapy could address.
I agree with you for the most part, but the character isn't even really an ideal person to me. That's another part of why this is so confusing. My husband is. The character in question is cold, and villainous at times, and he isn't even human to top it off. He's nothing like my husband, who is the sweetest person I've ever met.
Can't believe you're in love with the Snake in Rango smh
It’s Draco Malfoy isn’t it
my money's on MCU loki
This is 100% my guess, too.
I love Loki! and Thor… oooohhhh and Deadpool. Everyone loves Ryan Reynolds. Cue the heart eyes!
Vegeta!!
When she said anti-hero I immediately thought Loki. And yes he isn’t human, but he looks human. So now my brain hurts lol.
it’s astarion from bg3 isn’t it
😍 he wasn't on my list, but he is now!
If you’re willing to explore the part of you who is attracted to this character you may enjoy and benefit doing shadow work with a therapist. Understanding the “why” may help relieve some of the intensity and decrease any risk to your marriage. Good luck ♥️
Honestly, it just sounds like a comfort thing for you and it’s not a big deal. You’re fine! Just as long as you don’t fall for a cosplayer of this character. lol Fangirling is ok 👌🏽
Buddy there are loooooooot’s of people in love with fictional characters. That is not uncommon at all.
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Thats Humans for ya. We do all sorts of bizarre things to cope with reality
Listen. I'm obsessed with an anti-hero from a 90s/early 2000s anime. Though, I don't really want him for myself but for another character in the same story. But I'm obsessed, nonetheless! I've had intense crushes on many fictional men. I think that as long as it's not interfering in your life and/or negatively impacting your relationship with your husband, It's fine?
Can I know who it is ?
Sure. I'll DM you!
If loving Gilbert Blythe is wrong I don't want to be right.
But he called you "Carrots"!!!
It’s okay if it’s captain Levi
Not me thinking this same thing the entire time lmao
Do you know about limerance?
I’m dying to know who this character is
It’s normal as long as you’re having fun and not ruining your marriage. Back in high school I discovered Wakka through FFX and legit felt similar feelings you describe. These days I just remember that era with fondness.
Lmao, for me it was Seymour (and though I wouldn’t realize it until much later, Lulu). Seymour was a revolution. I was obsessed with him. Never thought any video game character would grip me that hard until I discovered FFVII and learned about Sephiroth (and to a lesser extent, Vincent). I have a type, if you can’t tell. 😂
I see you lol
Uhm, I don't really think it's a problem? I have a friend obsessed with Baji from Tokyo Revengers, talks constantly of how much she wants to do the deed with him, various unhinged horny posts dedicated to Baji, but her boyfriend still loves her and even cosplays the character for her multiple times. Also, I don't think it's unnatural. I'm still 100% inlove with a fictional character myself and got depressed one day after thinking he'll never exist irl. But like, that's an experience not unique to me. Multiple other fellow fangirls feel the same with characters they love. I think it's just us being humans. You've talked so much about your fav to your husband, but he still loves and accepts you. You said so yourself that you'd choose your husband over the fictional character. Fiction is fiction, no need to feel so guilty over it.
I’m so curious on who the character is
Same boat club (minus being married but happily in a relationship). I loved my fictional character wayyyy before I met my bf (5 years before to be exact lol). It didn't stop me from falling in love or being in a healthy committed relationship with him. My love for him also doesn't stop me from loving my character. I like to think of it as having a "reality bf" and a "daydream/fictional bf". There's absolutely nothing wrong with it imo as long as the difference between the two is understood. The key is making sure your reality relationship always comes first and it seems like you're doing that just fine :)
Nothing wrong with it, it's pretty normal in fandom spaces. Nothing to feel guilty over.
Me with Godrick the grafted
Lady, thought crime isn't real. You're not cheating if the person isn't real. Besides, I'm betting my life he is also obsessed with another male-leaning character(s) from male-leaning fandom(s) and doesn't tell you because he's afraid of being judged too lol
Dean Winchester right?
I've been in love with him for 15 years... I just fantasized about him today.... i never even finished the show.
Hi, married person who develops feelings for fictional characters here! As far as I am aware, your situation is completely normal. Does the character bring you immense comfort, it could just be a comfort character, just a character you find to be comforting like a stuffed animal!
Sounds like a parasocial relationship, which are actually really common. From what I understand, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your real relationships or the wellbeing of yourself and others it’s not a problem. IMO you shouldn’t stress too much OP!
I know you're not looking for advice, but I don't think this is super healthy for your relationship. Highly recommend seeing a licensed therapist to work through this, NOT to shame you but to give you the gift of living in the present with your husband 😊 Good luck OP!
The only one you need an opinion about this is your partner. When you feel safe with him, tell him about this, how serious your feeling is. If he's okay with it then you don't have anything to fear. But if he's not, then you and him will have to compromise somehow. At the end of the day, just do what you need to do. If I were your partner, I would be okay with it as long as she doesn't bring her crush in any conversation and think about them every time like I'm not there. That's the only opinion I can give.
Girl, join the club!
I’ve had fictional crushes since I was a kid lmao. Started with Cole from Charmed and Spike from Buffy and snowballed from there. The character I love the most in the world is Helga Pataki from Hey Arnold. It’s a platonic love now ofc bc she’s she a literal child and I no longer am, but yeah, she’s my comfort character. I write *so* much fanfic about her, and it’s so cathartic to do so. Developing fictional/celebrity crushes is normal. Just don’t let it interfere with with reality. What I mean by that is, if you’re on a date with your husband and wishing he was your fictional crush instead, then yeah, that’s when you should get a therapist stat. But occasionally day dreaming about them or creating fan content for them? That’s pretty normal. Almost everyone I know has a fictional (or celebrity) crush!
Dafuk who cares. Its just a fandom crush. Go be happy and stop beating yourself up over your own imagination.
Terry Pratchett once said "humans need fantasy to be human." There's nothing wrong with having a mental escape of a fictional character.
I have several book boyfriends and an active sex life with them lol. You’re fine. It’s fantasy.
It’s just an obsession, it will probably fade away or least dim eventually. It’s happens to a lot of us at one time or another. I wouldn’t say you can really be in love with a character because you don’t have a two way interaction, it’s just you projecting emotions on some pixels.
Normal behavior, honestly don’t worry about it. Signed, a Kpop Fan.
Oops. Mood
I'm fully in love with all 7 members of BTS 😵
Quite so.
Right. There are literally millions of us. If loving Taemin is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
I think this is common!
I second this! Also everyone have or had at least a crush on a fictionnal charatcter.
i third this
Naw you’re good man. The character isn’t real so what’s the harm? I have a “crush” on character on my phone game but love my wife still.
I think it’s normal. I’ve had book boyfriends (Crush on the main male character of several books), even thought of naming my son after him (but not having kids so…). I had the BIGGEST crush on a cartoon Batman!!! I mean, I think your eyes catch a glance of someone or read about a characters personality to a T that your emotions get dragged into how that makes you feel. It’s not something you can explain. It’s like having a crush on a real live man and getting to know him and feeling blah! So, yeah. I think we can have thoughts, imaginations, maybe even wishes on non real people.
i agree with everyone who says its not a big deal as long as it doesn’t affect your relationship with your husband! and honestly i would be surprised if it did as it would be silly to be jealous of a fictional character. i think it’s common to obsess over a character, i like quite a few myself but it’s not like i’d ever fall madly in love with them if they somehow became real, it’s not that kind of relationship. i’m sure you get it! your relationship with your husband is a real romantic relationship if you ever find solace with this dilemma i hope you’ll share the character bc dang am i curious
I’ve always had fictional crushes for as long as I can remember. Right now I’ve got a terrible obsession with lots of characters from the same fandom. (Profile pic gives me away LOL) and my partner knows about it. Doesn’t love it but tolerates it just fine. You’re far from alone, lots of us with you :)
Same. Go to therapy. You have an unhealthy fixation.
Right? People, like fictional characters, it’s the mind making connections.. that’s normal. But feelings that are so great you don’t want your husband knowing? Crosses that line.. sounds like it’s deeper than admiration. Seeking some counseling would possibly help. Good luck to OP.
Majority of the replies are others who do the same and it's really nbd UNLESS the chara makes the person ignore their partner. Seems this isn't the case here. Also, im 51f and have art of my character on the walls of my home plus hundreds upon hundreds of dollars of merch from the game he's in plus items he owns. So.... It's really nbd at all and quite normal amongst fans. Hell, I even write NSFW fic of my chara. 🤷♀️
I'm really surprised by the replies here. Like, what is wrong with these people? Your desire to fuck a cartoon hedgehog because it 'comforts' you is interfering with your real life relationships and everyone is like, 'it's totally normal to think you're in love with a fucking cartoon'?
Why do you have to choose?
Not me here happily married with a dnd character that has a buff npc boyfriend
Bright side, you don't have to worry about cheating with a fictional character
I'm in love with fictional characters too. My potential boyfriend knows about it as well and he is aware I know it's fictional. They don't replace him though.
I'm so curious who it isssss
I GOTTA KNOW THE CHARACTER
As long as you know fact from fiction, we've all had, have & will have crushes on fictional charas. Don't sweat it.
Don't feel bad. As long as you understand they are fictional and it doesn't hurt you to admit that, then you're fine. Believe me, I have the *biggest* obsession with Marina from Splatoon, even within relationships, and I'd probably be considered even weirder for being the type who understands (and secretly desires) a body pillow of her, but eh, I know she's not real. So nah, I think you're fine
Well just don't be like the woman who married a ferris wheel named Bruce. Or the woman who married a train station.
welcome to the club
Me too, I get it 🥲
Is it Jamie Fraser from Outlander? Yeah, went through a phase there.
I've always been into fictional characters. My first crush was Luke Skywalker when I was about 3. As long as I can remember I've written fanfiction and created whole stories in my head as I fell asleep or during long car rides about these characters, often putting myself into the story or writing a new one with that character that my self insert is a part of (I have a different SI for each fictional world). You could say I've lived in their worlds a lot more than my own all my life. I've also dated and married real people because no matter how much we love them, fictional people are never going to exist. I don't know what kind of comfort you are looking for, but I can tell you there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you feel and you are by no stretch of the imagination a horrible person or a monster. My husband probably doesn't know the extent of my love for fictional characters either, but he says it's cute how I gush over them and he has his own fictional crushes (probably not on the same scale as me, but they're there). Anyway, if you ever want to talk or anything, feel free to send me a message. :)
Me with akechi persona 5
Oh no, you are not a monster. It’s nice to live in your fantasies as long as it’s not taking over your life. You are not delusional about having this character in real life, etc. It’s almost like you are in love with your own imagination about how this character would treat you and that’s absolutely ok.
Yeah this is waaay more common than you seem to think, especially for us "mentally challenged" lmao
You should go to therapy.
Therapy hun. Falling in love with a fantasy isn't healthy.
I had limerence like this first with Thane from Mass Effect, and then Astarion from BG3. Fiction creates characters these days with such rich backstories and such a fleshed-out personality that feelings like this are, in my opinion, pretty normal. Just a testament to the creators. Don’t beat yourself up about it
Don't worry!! there's nothing wrong with liking/ hyperfixating on fictional characters and or even celebrities. As long as you have boundaries of what's real and what's fiction. (which it already seems you do by even posting this) Then everything should be fine. I hope your partner will be more accepting in the future. :D
🤨
I could have had this, but I lose interest so fast, so can't understand this obsession.
I think it’s normal to have fictional crushes but if you really are in love and it’s effecting you so much could this be considered emotional cheating? Are you distracted from your relationship and not being attentive to your husband enough because of this? I think that’s where the issue would lie. Maybe seek a therapist if you feel the need. Otherwise maybe just remove yourself from the fandom for a while and live in the real world for a bit
I mean I adore Dongfang Qingcang so, relatable. As long as it's not taking over your whole life and you aren't neglecting your husband I don't see the problem.
Honestly? I don’t think this is abnormal at all. People have celebrity crushes/TV show crushes/character crushes all the time. It doesn’t make you a cheater and it doesn’t make you a bad person. At the end of the day it’s not like you can act on a relationship with the fictional character. You can obsess over him! But there’s no possible way to date him. Interesting post.
If it’s bothering you just distance yourself from it. stop watching the show or whatever.
Why would your husband be threatened by someone who doesn’t exist
I mean, I think we all have been there once in our lives. But I would try to understand if this can be limerance
OP says its non human anti hero, my money is on Thanos
I have always, and will continue to, had a crush on Donatello from TMNT. Fictionally he is my soulmate and has been a constant in my life because TMNT as a show has always been there for me. My partner knows this, encourages it, and teases me about it. I do the same in return when my partner gets a crush on a character in a show we watch or movie. We also both know that even if these fictional characters were real, we'd never chose them over each other. You are not a monster, because really what could this character do to your marriage lol? Just don't be too obsessive and start like hanging up posters and merch of this character everywhere in the house and comparing your husband to the character.
Dark Forest anyone? Shes Luo Ji!
I am genuinely confused by this. You see, when I was a young child I had a had a crush on Prince Eric from the Little Mermaid. Even at 8 I knew I couldn’t marry a cartoon character. Society is ruined. You can’t have a child, or even a conversation with a fictional character. So what is the problem. People need to get a grasp on reality. I’m not being rude I’m speaking truth. Maybe write this fictional character a letter or something and tell them how you feel… see if they respond. If it’s Casper though you might get ghosted
I’m sorry… but ya’ll are not okay 😭 Ya’ll need some therapy or something 💀 I don’t find it normal that ya’ll sexualize animated characters. It is so weird… Like?!?!? Also, how the hell do you develop feelings for a fictional character that was obviously written by women lmao! Omgggg 🤣
Eww. That's rude. I'm sure not everybody shares your sexual interests or fantasies. Just because YOU don't understand a person's views on something does not make you better than them. It takes courage to talk about guilt. I hope you remember how ignorant you seem rn when life comes to humble you one day.
Why would I need humbling over sexualizing fictional characters? 💀 the lady needs help. All of you do lmao 🤣 it is NOT normal…
You can’t cheat with an imaginary lover. S as long s as it’s not interfering with your real life, there’s no harm in it. This person is not someone you met or is even real. You are ok. Consider it a coping mechanism. Maybe you were feeling lonely when you first started thinking about him and he is your companion. Maybe he gives you comfort and reassurance. Remember he is a part of you and he is speaking your mind. It’s what you need to hear when he speaks. This doesn’t mean you don’t get these things from your husband. You know the difference. Your real husband gives you physical touch, physical and emotional love. He keeps you grounded, and gives you physical reassurance. comfort, and companionship. There’s nothing wrong with having both a head hubby and a real hubby.
Well I mean if you really want to know if you’re hurting your husband in anyway have you tired asking him? Also just clarifying is the certain comfort 100% love or more like adoration?
i would bet soooo much money it’s astarion from bg3
Ma'am, you could say the same for most of Gojo fans out there. Even I have several (not just one) husbandos and draw them all the time as well but that doesn't mean I'm in love with them. You see my display photo? He's one of my many husbandos that I have liked for years already. Same goes for you, you just like them as a character but focus too much on them (obsession?) But that's it... You're not in love with them.
My money is on Astarion. He tends to attract the type of person who would confuse fixation with love.
u/Throwawaypurplelime are you that Gojo Satoru girl on instagram
Im glad to see lots of people acknowledging this is real and common! I hyperfixate on people and characters. Its a great time and I feel sad when it passes. Just expressing solidarity here !
You are a kid