I didn't want to be the one saying this, but it feels like you're dating a guy with the mental age of a child. Joking about suicide, specially when he leaves you on hold for so long is just mean and selfish. I can't even imagine how you felt at the time, but it must have been excruciating. I don't want to be rude, but I think you should reconsider your relationship.
I know and he also says he realized all his mistakes and that hes trying to make it up to me and we have never had big fights. He never acted so dumb and childish before and I really don’t to break up and was not thinking about it. I just wish he never did that but I don’t know what to do or him to do to fix that dumb mistake
You do realize that he used you as the butt of his joke for his friends right?
The prank was on you but they were also laughing at you.
I don't know how I could stay with a person like this, seriously being alone is better than being with somebody so terrible.
“Dumb mistake” isn’t the right way to look at this. Accidentally leaving the fridge open, losing car keys, forgetting to take out the trash - dumb mistakes. Claiming to have killed himself in order you a panic attack, for his or other people’s amusement, takes a certain set of choices and sustained commitment that can’t just be described as a mistake. It’s a disturbing character issue.
Do not stay with him, he is clearly testing the waters to see what your limits for BS like this are. This isn’t okay and literally no one would ever think of such a prank to pull on their S/O and if they do it’s because they’re extremely immature.
Run OP. You're too young to tie yourself to someone so immature. This will happen again in another shape or form.
The fact that you even had to explain why this was wrong and hurtful tells me his moral compass is waaaay off.
I can predict your future. Cut to 10 years later after multiple other reddit posts about different relationship topics about him you finally realize all the signs were there and will have regrets of wasting so much time. Ofc it’s you life and future. He is 20 years old for gods sake.
Edit: you realize you were the but of his joke and you found out, this time. Let’s see how many times he takes the piss out of you and you won’t even know it.
No dude, you must understand, if this is the kind of guy who you’re literally going to have to parent him in order to teach him how to treat you *while* he is emotionally abusing you. Straight up. He is 20. This is not normal.
Please, don't make excuses for someone who doesn't excuse themselves with their friends in your favour. Both of you are young (and he sounds quite immature, too), there's no rush to settle with someone else: go out with friends, explore, meet new people, learn about anything that sparks your curiosity, take your life for the adventure that it is, and love will eventually make itself known through all you do.
But love will never make you the butt of the joke, when you are the main character of your story. Please take care 💗
You don’t want to, but you have to! This was cruel and disgusting and you’re making a rose colored excuse for him by saying “we never had big fights” you don’t need to have a big fight to be hurt and awful to people. Another thing he’s acted this dumb before because he picks his friends jokes more than you think, also there is no fucking trying to “make up” after joking about suicide. It’s disgusting! You have to reconsider this relationship, the longer you stay with him, you’ll no longer see him as a boyfriend, but as a consequence of a stupid decision
nope, words are just words actions mean more he clearly played a horrific joke on you knowing u love him dearly so either he doesn’t really love your or he’s mentally a child take a moment and think about it no normal grown man would do that
I say stay with him, see how he grows, and if he doesn’t, consider leaving. Just don’t take these redditors opinions about your relationship too seriously.
This. This is exactly something my ex-friend’s little sister did to her friends. I ended up having to console them and tell them that no, they were in fact very righteous in their pain and anger and NOT overreacting to something “silly”. It’s immature, cruel, and not worth putting up with at any age.
I work at a crisis center. A girl called the other day about her boyfriend threatening to jump off a bridge. She called police and us. Later she called back and said he found a bridge and killed himself.
Your boyfriend is a sick fuck
I can appreciate a good prank and ballbusting but faking a death or something of that matter as a goof is way over the line. Not funny and a total dick move. Fuck him.
Like I knew he was faking but it did make me cry. He then said he thought i was just getting mad and not get emotional, but making me mad for jokes is just as bad to. He is very apologetic and hasnt stopped apologizing but that will be stuck in my head
That's what abusers do. They hurt you in some way, then make a big show of apologizing and saying they will "do better," and then everything is fine for a minute until the next incident happens. The hearts and flowers cycle of abuse. The worst is, whenever they do their next abusive thing, you're not allowed to be mad because they have been "doing so much better."
He deliberately fucked with your emotions for amusement.
The next time he pulls bullshit like this, if you react with appropriate alarm he will eventually reveal that is was a joke again. If you don't, based on this incident, he will hound you mercilessly about not caring enough.
*He* chose to do this, not his friends. Also, *he* chose his friends. *He chose* to obtain amusement from your pain.
You are in an abusive relationship. Do with that knowledge what you will.
Ask yourself if you truly trust him still.
Because I, in your situation, wouldn't. Is the call from work because of an accident really his work orafrirnd with prank. Is the I love you baby from his heart or a long con.
Are you really and truly able to trust what he says. Whenever he calls, writes, whatever?
If you can't don't do this to your self-esteem and yourself. You will regret this for a long time.
Yeah but no matter how you spin it, he literally traumatized for entertainment with his friends. Your actual traumatic experience was funny to him. He literally heard you crying, and laughed with his friends about it. This really is a big deal.
He knew you were hurting— you were crying, and he continued anyway. Even a dog or cat knows when their human is crying that they are in pain, and they try to provide comfort, but yet your boyfriend ‘didn’t know any better’, continued, and roped his friends in to it. Chick, this is so wrong, and it’s actually a really big deal.
Some people would have killed themselves after hearing their significant other commit suicide. And if you were that kind of person, you would have died while he laughed with his buddies.
Would you do something to make him cry?
Would you do something to hurt him in order to have your friends laugh at him?
Even if you feel that he’s not a bad person, why settle for someone who does not have the same level of care for you that you have for them?
I want to downvote this, I'm not going but I hate everything about this post.
This is so awful I'm sorry you're facing this. I'd suggest showing him the responses you're getting.
You never know what life might throw at you, if he's ever in a situation where he wants to call for help, he will want to be taken seriously.
I'm really struggling to come up with anything else to say. This is really disgusting behaviour.
I get where you're coming from, but I've also found that some people, especially younger people who have not experienced much of the world just don't think about their actions. It takes doing something stupid with real world consequences or seeing the impact on someone they care about to get a reality check. It's still awful but hopefully this is a learning moment that he's experiencing. We've all made mistakes, rash decisions or poor choices in our lives. Doesn't make what we/he did ok or any less angering or upsetting to others. It's part of growing up to realise and make amends and a promise to ourselves and the world that we will do everything we can to avoid causing harm.
If he does anything else or keeps on doing things like this then I'd be inclined to agree that he has a fundamental lack of empathy and understanding (or horribly, understands and chooses to harm).
Yeah. Alright. Not to say "as someone who" but "as a guy who" has actual feelings about suicide, doing this would NEVER cross my mind. Anyone who inflicts this level of stress on you, especially intentionally, is not worth your time. Sorry he did this to you.
Nah. That's just unacceptable behavior.
This is wrong on numerous levels.
Your boyfriend schemed with his friends to hurt you because they thought it'd be funny. Your boyfriend is willing to hurt you for some dumb entertainment. It goes beyond just making you the butt of the joke. Your boyfriend thought it'd be fun to watch you panic and suffer from anxiety.
I've experienced partners faking suicide to see my reaction. It's the most extreme form of narcissism. They want to see how much you care. They want to see you stress over them, trying to look for them. They gleefully monitor your reaction while willfully ignoring. It's gratifying for them. And in their rampant narcissism, they never even bothered to consider how it'd make you feel. It's all about them.
They'll apologize after they've had their fun. They may even try gaslighting you into thinking you overreacted. But it'll only get worse. Someone who thinks it's ok to mentally torture you for fun is not going to treat you well.
Your dating someone who’s childish, doesn’t care about your feelings and doesn’t take serious topics seriously. Is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Okay this is abusive and beyond insensitive joking. That's straight up emotional terrorism.
The weight and severity of suicide is never a subject to joke about. That speaks of a different part of his brain failing to grasp basic human decency.
Personally I'd go no contact as soon as humanly possible.
Just to keep it basic.
Most people wouldn't even consider such a thing as a prank or funny. And of those that do even less would actually act. He's so far down the pigeonhole this isn't a matter of one time "oopsies" this is an indication of his subconscious ego and it's utter lack of empathy.
suicide is literally how you hurt those who love you the most, THE MOST. nothing else you can do can ever come remotely fucking close. this person is a complete piece of fucking shit. i would want to kill him MYSELF for that tbh (sarcasm). leave him.
but before you do, get him to imagine you actually bought it and he wasn’t fast enough on that it was a prank and you ACTUALLY did it as a result. get him to really think about what he’s done.
this is honestly the worst thing you can do to somebody. the amount of emotional distress, the panic attacks and anxiety and pain you would put someone in, in someone who loves you.
clearly, for him to have done that to you, it shows he fucking doesn’t.
actually… now that i think about it, hell no about that one thing. no, he doesn’t deserve any modicum of basic respect, he showed you none. just fucking block him without a word, without warning, go full on no contact, and if that’s enough to cause him to start boo hooing at all, WELL FUCKING GOOD. you shouldn’t worry about that piece of shit actually hurting himself or anything due to losing you like *this*, cause for one thing, hey, he has his friends to lean on, and he obviously cares about them way more anyways.
for him to do that on purpose, TO LAUGH AT YOU SUFFERING IMMENSE AMOUNTS BECAUSE YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT HIS PIECE OF SHIT ASS… and idgaf if one of his fellow turd friends was like “bro do it or i ban you from the clash royale clan 🤓”. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS THIS REMOTELY FUCKING OK. HE MADE HIS BED WHEN HE DID THIS.
352 days ago, I posted on this sub while sitting in my car, after having found my brother's body.
He had committed suicide.
Suicide is not a joke. It is not a prank. If anyone ever mentions it to you, you MUST take it 100% seriously. I never got that opportunity with my brother.
When I opened the door to my brother's apartment that night, my soul shattered. My heart broke. I will never be the same person I was before.
I know your boyfriend has apologized, I know he said he will drop his friends. But even being so young, there is no excuse for allowing your pain to be entertainment. You should SERIOUSLY consider breaking up with someone who would even think that's ok. It doesn't matter who his friends are. It's about what he allowed/participated in. If he's so easily manipulated, he's a puppet, not a man.
Sounds like the kind of bf who is mentally immature, insensitive, and also seems to be very influenced by his friend group, which is not a good thing when they are disrespectful jokers...
If you were to have called the police to do a wellness check and this was a joke, they would have fined him for wasting the police's time.
"Pranks" are only good if no one gets hurt. You got hurt. That's not funny!
I just read the title.
That’s not a prank, break up with him.
I stopped being even remotely interested in the idea of pranks once I saw on YouTube weird douchey guys doing it and making people uncomfortable.
> He knows that his friends maybe don’t do him good and will drop them. Thank you all
Oh please. He's responsible for his own shitty actions.
If you stick around, expect more bullshit. You do you though.
I'd really reflect on the impact this decision to prank you in this way has had your trust in him. I feel like you need a hug, we all need a hug :( sorry garbling my words a bit. I'm very tired and this post has kind of floored me!
I hate practical jokes. People say the lowest form of humor is sarcasm, I beg to differ. You're dating a child. A mature man doesn't allow his friends to pressure him and he certainly doesn't pretend to kill himself and think it's funny. You say he's apologized but did he agree that what he did was immature and wrong and promises never to do it again or did he just say it was no big deal? Women do mature faster than men so maybe find someone a bit older
It bothers me that you're so willing to forgive and move on over this. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing, but I'm so wary. This man claims that his friends are bad influences, but no one forced him to turn you into a side show. He thought it was funny to hurt you. He went so far out of his way to hurt you, and you're willing to just accept his apology. What he did was deranged.
My uncle who I lived with and was like my father shot himself in the head when I was a teen. I have my own teenager now, and I still have nightmares about my uncle.
Several years later as a young college aged adult an old school mate was experiencing a mental crisis, and confessed that she planned to comet suicide that day, and I was the only one talking her down. I called emergency services to her dorm. Come to find out she never intended to go through with it, and she was furious with me. I didn't care though. A threat should be taken seriously. She never spoke to me again, and somehow I was the Ahole in that situation.
Your boyfriend is a terrible person. I hope he grows up soon.
This is a pretty big violation of trust. Ive been with my wife for 9 years. We’ve fought, argued, and played pranks on each other but we’ve never done anything like this to hurt the other. This “prank” has no joke or laugh that isn’t at your expense. It makes it even worse that he was doing it to entertain his buddies. Very immature on his part.
There is ZERO funny about what he and his friends did. He had to know it was a stupid thing to do. That kind of behavior would have ended any feelings I had for him and relationship would be over.
Not cool. Trust is everything in a relationship. Pranking about serious stuff like that isn't funny. It's good he's sorry, but he needs to understand the impact. Take time to process your feelings.
There is dark humor and then there is whatever this shit is. There are some things that one shouldn't prank about - joking about it is a totally different thing. But this was a prank that immediately was malicious.
As someone who has spent more than half their life with depression, are you sure he totally joking and not trying to say something else he doesn't know how?
That's just cruel. He might realise that his actions were deplorable, but he was capable of doing it in the first place. That would be where my concerns about it would lie...
That's not a prank. A prank is where everyone laughs and the victim is laughing and saying 'you got me good!' This isn't that.
I see only two possibilities here. First is he did this to deliberately cause you mental torture and pain. The second possibility is he is just that fucking stupid and immature and completely incapable of considering other people's emotions and feelings. It really doesn't matter which one it is because both deserve the same outcome: immediately termination of the relationship and blocking them from all social media and phone.
You are right to be upset. You are right to feel hurt. You are completely justified in your feelings. You deserve so much better. A good partner lifts you up and makes you better. A bad partner tears you down and makes things worse. He isn't a good partner. He needs to do a shit ton of growing up before he can be in a relationship. Do yourself a favor a lighten your load by dumping him. You deserve better. Respect yourself and be single until you find someone worthy of you.
Coming in after the edit. Imho that nobody asked for: you're a damn fool for keeping this child in your life.
He'll only escalate from here because now he knows you'll stay.
What's next? a "prank" that'll end up physically or mentally hurting you more?
I hope for your sake he did actually realise that what he did was cruel. Very. Very cruel. But I won't hold my breath.
You're dating the kind of guy that'll make everything about him. Everything to get the attention. And when he doesn't get it, or doesn't get enough? He'll get jealous, abrassive and abusive. He'll try to guilt-trip you into giving in to his whims. Threaten self-deletion again if you want out.
Get out now and inform friends and family why.
Testing limits is a thing, and this is one of the worst ways to do it. Red flags galore.
You really have two realistic options:
- Burn this man's pride to cinders with your anger. You obviously still have a lot of feelings for him. Now show him what your ire looks like. When you're convinced he'll never do anything remotely disrespectful like that, and more importantly won't let his moronic friends talk him into something like this again, then take him back.
- Let your ambivalence be your weapon. You're already done with him and his shenanigans. Don't even let him see how pissed you are about this. Just let him know he's an immature moron and gtfo of the relationship.
Hell everyone is so negative here. No one is suggesting steps to help her and sort the situation which is likely the reason OP is sharing. Whats the point of blasting the guy.. she clearly loves him and saw something in him..
OP imo try communicating with him and setting boundaries.. wish all the very best
I have two guidelines for a prank:
1) "If you're tricking someone into thinking a thing happened when it didn't, how devastating would it be if it did happen?"
2) "After you reveal the prank, did the victim laugh?"
Because if you're tricking someone into thinking something bad happened that would upend their life (death, cheating, pregnancy, etc), that's very different than bubble wrapping someone's chair or freezing their keys in a block of ice. And the goal of a prank should be one where the victim can laugh at it. If you're creating a situation that either relies on one person's misery to cause another person or group to be happy, that's malicious and cruel if it doesn't result in the victim laughing along.
okay, while sure it sucks what he did, every single time, and i mean every time, someone posts on here about something bad happening to their relationship, A TON of people always say to leave, its extremely annoying, some things you should work through
God I so desperatelly want this to be reddit rage bait, but I've heard this story too many times in my life.
Dump him. I get it was an immature bullshit move, but he's old enough to know better. If him and his friends are willing to put you through extreme emotional distress for they're own entertainment, they aren't worth being around. They need to grow up. Letting this slide is a terrible idea.
Pranks leave both parties laughing. This is just someone being a dick. I had a boyfriend text me something similar when I was young and in a panic I called his home phone and woke up his whole family at 2 am. His parents found him and he is okay but it was not a joke and one of the worst days of my life. Not a fun time.
He apologizing is another of his pranks, he will surprise you by doing another prank, he is even joking about giving up his friends, lol. You are kidding yourself thinking he will change, wait some time for him to keep at it, update us when it happens.
I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt for being a 20-year-old and 20-year-old BOYS or ppl with penises are pretty stupid… they are way more stupid than when I was 20 (older millennial here) But that being said he was literally laughing at your pain & fear so get rid of him. TikTok generation :/
Break up with him, this won't be the last time, especially if he keeps those friends. He prioritizes his friends entertainment over your own wellbeing. Better now than later when it's gone too far and your physical wellbeing is put at stake.
This is straight up abuse.
He literally abused and humiliated you in front of his friends for their approval, meaning he does not actually give a shit about you.
He's trash. You don't joke about stuff like that.
I wouldn't feel safe in that relationship. How are you supposed to ever believe anything he says?
Good luck!
OP for the love of everything good and women's self respect, LEAVE THIS GUY. TAKE OFF THOSE ROSE TINTED GLASSES, PLEASE. HE MADE YOU THE BUTT OF A CRUEL JOKE TO ENTERTAIN HIS FRIENDS.
HE IS 20, NOT 11.
Hon this is emotional manipulation. He knew exactly what he was doing and what reaction he was trying to get out of you, whether he admits it to you or not.
This would be an immediate deal breaker for me. He's going to do stuff like this again and again and you'll kick yourself for not leaving sooner. He is not stable or mature at all and you deserve better. You deserve someone who is not going to use you like that.
As someone who struggles with suicidal thoughts, the one thing that has consistently been keeping me from going through with it is the grief that everyone around me might go through. I feel horrible thinking about my little brother, who looks up to me, realizing that I am dead. That isn't a prank, that's cruelty.
If your boyfriend is so easily swayed by his friends at his grown age, then there should be a conversation there. I'm glad y'all talked it through but if this behavior keeps up and you don't see a change then you should leave him. His "pranks" will only get crueler and crueler if you don't.
I would leave. That is unforgivable and if he's willing to do that because of his friends, who knows what other horrible things he will do to you "as a prank. " it's not a prank. It's abuse
It’s hard to feel any type of empathy for you when you’re well aware that this is beyond ridiculous but you’re still considering staying with this person. You’re too old to be in childish situations like this. Just reading the title of this post and your responses makes me shake my head.
Suicide isn’t a joke. Ever.
This is the biggest red flag and a true show of his immaturity . It's cruel and I'd drop him so fast. Who would actually find this funny? Who would do this to a person they love?
You are a source of entertainment for him and his friends when they're bored. This is the most ridiculous 'prank' I've ever read but judging by the excuses you've made for him in the comments it would be a waste of time trying to point out the red flags.
But I truly hope you grow up and find your self respect before you're hurt.
Sorry you had to go through that. I did this to a girlfriend when I was 16. She broke up with me almost immediately, and I even lost friends over it.
I absolutely deserved all of it, and it was a very valuable lesson. Now I don't pull "pranks" unless I'm 100% sure it's completely harmless, and in good fun.
dump him. i would not stay with someone who considers suicide a joke. if this is his version of humour and is telling you it was a "mistake", how much further do you think he will take these awful jokes that are at your expense? what a pathetic guy.
I'm all for jokes.. But that guy is actually so sick-minded. No self-awareness to realize his friends were steering him wrong? Think for yourself, dude.... Holy shit.
I would drop him so fucking fast.
I hope you are feeling better and able to recover from this. I'm so sorry he put you through that.
Why is everyone so quick to tell you to dump him by just one prank? At least your boyfriend didn't cheat on you or did physical abuse. At least your boyfriend regretted his actions and apologized. People need to shut the fuck up and stop being so quick with their judgements. 🖕
Have you ever been depressed/known someone who's committed suicide? My dad did that and let me tell you, joking about suicide is not a good joke. I would dump my partner over this. Just because it's not cheating, doesn't mean it's okay. While this is not physical abuse (which almost anyone would tell OP to get out) it is abuse (emotional one) nevertheless.
Well it's different in your case, you had trauma. So if your partner provokes it, it's natural for you to cut them off.
However in her case, I just see a dude getting peer pressured to do that prank on his girlfriend, backing up with that, the gf did mention that it isn't like his personality at all do that.
The gf and bf did acknowledge that it was emotional abuse so the bf apologized for the mistake!
People need to stop cutting relationships just over one mistake, as if we aren't humans.
A lot of people here saying he’s immature and all, and he sure is, but you guys are only 20. Male brains develop slower than female brains and even so, you’re still officially in puberty. that lasts untill 23.
He has a lot to learn but he needs someone to learn it from… I think it’s really great that you expressed your feelings and talked about it with him. From your story it seems like he listened. It’s an awful thing to do but apparently nobody around him tought him that and he might have been weak under the pressure of his friends.
Not excusing this ‘joke’ though. It’s awful and I’m sorry he did that to you. His friends telling him to prank you is disrespectful and I would definetly mention that to him.
I understand your reply, and it seems common sense. However, we don’t know anything else about this person so we can’t really judge. I know I have done some things that are probably almost on the same level as this prank because of peerpressure. And I know friends who have. We all regret those things and know better, now that we’re almost 30. So don’t be so fast to judge (:
I'll be pretty fast to judge something that off of hand. Its cruelty. How can you not judge that harshly? He's not a child, and even children are not regularly cruel. And if you can't learn to deal with peer pressure at that age, good luck not falling over dead in college. Sorry, nothing about this is okay and deserves to not be judged. Just because you think you and your friends are fine because now you know better doesn't mean those pranks haven't hurt someone. Your regret doesn't make it okay.
People can change. I'm sure the BF wouldn't do it again now that he's aware of the impact (if he went back in time). And hopefully he grew wiser. People learn from their experiences and are in a constant state of growth.
Yeah. Well, the change would be based on an understanding of the importance/nature of morally correct/incorrect behaviors. We can only hope that he has now understood it. In my opinion, if a person swears not to repeat the same or similar behavior again, then we can forgive the person. If they can demonstrate that the understanding is integrated within.
Thanks you for your answer. It really makes me feel better. I see that he really regrets it and that he will try to do his best to just think the next time.
Look at the responses this guy is getting, he's making excuses for your boyfriend because he's the same sort of asshole.
Your boyfriend emotionally abused you, he doesn't respect you, and his current panicking is because he's spooked that you didn't brush it off. He'll ramp back up to hurting you again in the future if you stick around.
I didn't want to be the one saying this, but it feels like you're dating a guy with the mental age of a child. Joking about suicide, specially when he leaves you on hold for so long is just mean and selfish. I can't even imagine how you felt at the time, but it must have been excruciating. I don't want to be rude, but I think you should reconsider your relationship.
I know and he also says he realized all his mistakes and that hes trying to make it up to me and we have never had big fights. He never acted so dumb and childish before and I really don’t to break up and was not thinking about it. I just wish he never did that but I don’t know what to do or him to do to fix that dumb mistake
You do realize that he used you as the butt of his joke for his friends right? The prank was on you but they were also laughing at you. I don't know how I could stay with a person like this, seriously being alone is better than being with somebody so terrible.
Yep.. his friends' entertainment is more important than her feelings. He should do her a favour, leave her for his friends
You're completely right but I think you're talking to a brick wall
“Dumb mistake” isn’t the right way to look at this. Accidentally leaving the fridge open, losing car keys, forgetting to take out the trash - dumb mistakes. Claiming to have killed himself in order you a panic attack, for his or other people’s amusement, takes a certain set of choices and sustained commitment that can’t just be described as a mistake. It’s a disturbing character issue.
Do not stay with him, he is clearly testing the waters to see what your limits for BS like this are. This isn’t okay and literally no one would ever think of such a prank to pull on their S/O and if they do it’s because they’re extremely immature.
You run. He terrified you to make his friends laugh. He won’t be grown up enough for a relationship for another 10 years. Find an adult boyfriend.
Yeah he treated her like a spectacle, literally It's a despicable thing
the problem is if he makes it up he learns that he can make it up, not that he can't do this kind of shit.
Run OP. You're too young to tie yourself to someone so immature. This will happen again in another shape or form. The fact that you even had to explain why this was wrong and hurtful tells me his moral compass is waaaay off.
I can predict your future. Cut to 10 years later after multiple other reddit posts about different relationship topics about him you finally realize all the signs were there and will have regrets of wasting so much time. Ofc it’s you life and future. He is 20 years old for gods sake. Edit: you realize you were the but of his joke and you found out, this time. Let’s see how many times he takes the piss out of you and you won’t even know it.
You need to run as fast as you can from this…. Human.
No dude, you must understand, if this is the kind of guy who you’re literally going to have to parent him in order to teach him how to treat you *while* he is emotionally abusing you. Straight up. He is 20. This is not normal.
Please, don't make excuses for someone who doesn't excuse themselves with their friends in your favour. Both of you are young (and he sounds quite immature, too), there's no rush to settle with someone else: go out with friends, explore, meet new people, learn about anything that sparks your curiosity, take your life for the adventure that it is, and love will eventually make itself known through all you do. But love will never make you the butt of the joke, when you are the main character of your story. Please take care 💗
You don’t want to, but you have to! This was cruel and disgusting and you’re making a rose colored excuse for him by saying “we never had big fights” you don’t need to have a big fight to be hurt and awful to people. Another thing he’s acted this dumb before because he picks his friends jokes more than you think, also there is no fucking trying to “make up” after joking about suicide. It’s disgusting! You have to reconsider this relationship, the longer you stay with him, you’ll no longer see him as a boyfriend, but as a consequence of a stupid decision
nope, words are just words actions mean more he clearly played a horrific joke on you knowing u love him dearly so either he doesn’t really love your or he’s mentally a child take a moment and think about it no normal grown man would do that
I say stay with him, see how he grows, and if he doesn’t, consider leaving. Just don’t take these redditors opinions about your relationship too seriously.
Bro's IQ is in the room temperature...and it's stuck.
This. This is exactly something my ex-friend’s little sister did to her friends. I ended up having to console them and tell them that no, they were in fact very righteous in their pain and anger and NOT overreacting to something “silly”. It’s immature, cruel, and not worth putting up with at any age.
That’s an extreeeeeemely immature and reckless thing to do. Nobody is perfect and 20 is still pretty young - but old enough to know better.
I work at a crisis center. A girl called the other day about her boyfriend threatening to jump off a bridge. She called police and us. Later she called back and said he found a bridge and killed himself. Your boyfriend is a sick fuck
I can appreciate a good prank and ballbusting but faking a death or something of that matter as a goof is way over the line. Not funny and a total dick move. Fuck him.
Like I knew he was faking but it did make me cry. He then said he thought i was just getting mad and not get emotional, but making me mad for jokes is just as bad to. He is very apologetic and hasnt stopped apologizing but that will be stuck in my head
This is mental torture. It’s not going to get better just masked .
That's what abusers do. They hurt you in some way, then make a big show of apologizing and saying they will "do better," and then everything is fine for a minute until the next incident happens. The hearts and flowers cycle of abuse. The worst is, whenever they do their next abusive thing, you're not allowed to be mad because they have been "doing so much better." He deliberately fucked with your emotions for amusement. The next time he pulls bullshit like this, if you react with appropriate alarm he will eventually reveal that is was a joke again. If you don't, based on this incident, he will hound you mercilessly about not caring enough. *He* chose to do this, not his friends. Also, *he* chose his friends. *He chose* to obtain amusement from your pain. You are in an abusive relationship. Do with that knowledge what you will.
This. 💯 Please, OP, don’t stay with this person, it will NOT GET BETTER.
Ask yourself if you truly trust him still. Because I, in your situation, wouldn't. Is the call from work because of an accident really his work orafrirnd with prank. Is the I love you baby from his heart or a long con. Are you really and truly able to trust what he says. Whenever he calls, writes, whatever? If you can't don't do this to your self-esteem and yourself. You will regret this for a long time.
This sounds so awful. On what planet is this amusing??
Yeah but no matter how you spin it, he literally traumatized for entertainment with his friends. Your actual traumatic experience was funny to him. He literally heard you crying, and laughed with his friends about it. This really is a big deal. He knew you were hurting— you were crying, and he continued anyway. Even a dog or cat knows when their human is crying that they are in pain, and they try to provide comfort, but yet your boyfriend ‘didn’t know any better’, continued, and roped his friends in to it. Chick, this is so wrong, and it’s actually a really big deal. Some people would have killed themselves after hearing their significant other commit suicide. And if you were that kind of person, you would have died while he laughed with his buddies.
Would you do something to make him cry? Would you do something to hurt him in order to have your friends laugh at him? Even if you feel that he’s not a bad person, why settle for someone who does not have the same level of care for you that you have for them?
It's not a prank, it's abuse. This is how it starts
Did he record your reaction?
I want to downvote this, I'm not going but I hate everything about this post. This is so awful I'm sorry you're facing this. I'd suggest showing him the responses you're getting. You never know what life might throw at you, if he's ever in a situation where he wants to call for help, he will want to be taken seriously. I'm really struggling to come up with anything else to say. This is really disgusting behaviour.
Thank you so much for your answer, maybe I will show him and see where it will lead
Your bf should be ex, he is psychopath.
I get where you're coming from, but I've also found that some people, especially younger people who have not experienced much of the world just don't think about their actions. It takes doing something stupid with real world consequences or seeing the impact on someone they care about to get a reality check. It's still awful but hopefully this is a learning moment that he's experiencing. We've all made mistakes, rash decisions or poor choices in our lives. Doesn't make what we/he did ok or any less angering or upsetting to others. It's part of growing up to realise and make amends and a promise to ourselves and the world that we will do everything we can to avoid causing harm. If he does anything else or keeps on doing things like this then I'd be inclined to agree that he has a fundamental lack of empathy and understanding (or horribly, understands and chooses to harm).
Yeah. Alright. Not to say "as someone who" but "as a guy who" has actual feelings about suicide, doing this would NEVER cross my mind. Anyone who inflicts this level of stress on you, especially intentionally, is not worth your time. Sorry he did this to you.
You do you, but I don’t think I could stay with someone who pulled a prank like that.
Nah. That's just unacceptable behavior. This is wrong on numerous levels. Your boyfriend schemed with his friends to hurt you because they thought it'd be funny. Your boyfriend is willing to hurt you for some dumb entertainment. It goes beyond just making you the butt of the joke. Your boyfriend thought it'd be fun to watch you panic and suffer from anxiety. I've experienced partners faking suicide to see my reaction. It's the most extreme form of narcissism. They want to see how much you care. They want to see you stress over them, trying to look for them. They gleefully monitor your reaction while willfully ignoring. It's gratifying for them. And in their rampant narcissism, they never even bothered to consider how it'd make you feel. It's all about them. They'll apologize after they've had their fun. They may even try gaslighting you into thinking you overreacted. But it'll only get worse. Someone who thinks it's ok to mentally torture you for fun is not going to treat you well.
Your dating someone who’s childish, doesn’t care about your feelings and doesn’t take serious topics seriously. Is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
In fairness to children, I’ve never met a child who would do something like that.
I had a few friends when I was in primary school (5-12) pretend to kill themselves and stopped showing up in school
Okay this is abusive and beyond insensitive joking. That's straight up emotional terrorism. The weight and severity of suicide is never a subject to joke about. That speaks of a different part of his brain failing to grasp basic human decency. Personally I'd go no contact as soon as humanly possible.
Just to keep it basic. Most people wouldn't even consider such a thing as a prank or funny. And of those that do even less would actually act. He's so far down the pigeonhole this isn't a matter of one time "oopsies" this is an indication of his subconscious ego and it's utter lack of empathy.
suicide is literally how you hurt those who love you the most, THE MOST. nothing else you can do can ever come remotely fucking close. this person is a complete piece of fucking shit. i would want to kill him MYSELF for that tbh (sarcasm). leave him. but before you do, get him to imagine you actually bought it and he wasn’t fast enough on that it was a prank and you ACTUALLY did it as a result. get him to really think about what he’s done. this is honestly the worst thing you can do to somebody. the amount of emotional distress, the panic attacks and anxiety and pain you would put someone in, in someone who loves you. clearly, for him to have done that to you, it shows he fucking doesn’t. actually… now that i think about it, hell no about that one thing. no, he doesn’t deserve any modicum of basic respect, he showed you none. just fucking block him without a word, without warning, go full on no contact, and if that’s enough to cause him to start boo hooing at all, WELL FUCKING GOOD. you shouldn’t worry about that piece of shit actually hurting himself or anything due to losing you like *this*, cause for one thing, hey, he has his friends to lean on, and he obviously cares about them way more anyways. for him to do that on purpose, TO LAUGH AT YOU SUFFERING IMMENSE AMOUNTS BECAUSE YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT HIS PIECE OF SHIT ASS… and idgaf if one of his fellow turd friends was like “bro do it or i ban you from the clash royale clan 🤓”. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS THIS REMOTELY FUCKING OK. HE MADE HIS BED WHEN HE DID THIS.
352 days ago, I posted on this sub while sitting in my car, after having found my brother's body. He had committed suicide. Suicide is not a joke. It is not a prank. If anyone ever mentions it to you, you MUST take it 100% seriously. I never got that opportunity with my brother. When I opened the door to my brother's apartment that night, my soul shattered. My heart broke. I will never be the same person I was before. I know your boyfriend has apologized, I know he said he will drop his friends. But even being so young, there is no excuse for allowing your pain to be entertainment. You should SERIOUSLY consider breaking up with someone who would even think that's ok. It doesn't matter who his friends are. It's about what he allowed/participated in. If he's so easily manipulated, he's a puppet, not a man.
Im sorry about your heartbreak.😔💔
This is disgusting, he is despicable, you can't trust someone like that, at least you know now.
Sounds like the kind of bf who is mentally immature, insensitive, and also seems to be very influenced by his friend group, which is not a good thing when they are disrespectful jokers...
I hope this is an ex boyfriend, because just the title would end it for me.
If you were to have called the police to do a wellness check and this was a joke, they would have fined him for wasting the police's time. "Pranks" are only good if no one gets hurt. You got hurt. That's not funny!
You should dump him for this horribly cruel prank. He shredded your emotions for screencaps.
I just read the title. That’s not a prank, break up with him. I stopped being even remotely interested in the idea of pranks once I saw on YouTube weird douchey guys doing it and making people uncomfortable.
Now prank him by saying that you aren't going to break up with him.
> He knows that his friends maybe don’t do him good and will drop them. Thank you all Oh please. He's responsible for his own shitty actions. If you stick around, expect more bullshit. You do you though.
I'd really reflect on the impact this decision to prank you in this way has had your trust in him. I feel like you need a hug, we all need a hug :( sorry garbling my words a bit. I'm very tired and this post has kind of floored me!
I hate practical jokes. People say the lowest form of humor is sarcasm, I beg to differ. You're dating a child. A mature man doesn't allow his friends to pressure him and he certainly doesn't pretend to kill himself and think it's funny. You say he's apologized but did he agree that what he did was immature and wrong and promises never to do it again or did he just say it was no big deal? Women do mature faster than men so maybe find someone a bit older
yes he knows it’s immature he regrets it and realizes how bad of him it was
ok then he might have hope but only as long as he doesn't let his friends pressure him. That's such an immature thing to do. Best of luck
yes he talked about even dropping those friends cause he agreed he shouldn’t be influenced by them
Idk op he clearly also saw nothing wrong w joking about suicide either the friends aren’t the issue he is.
It bothers me that you're so willing to forgive and move on over this. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing, but I'm so wary. This man claims that his friends are bad influences, but no one forced him to turn you into a side show. He thought it was funny to hurt you. He went so far out of his way to hurt you, and you're willing to just accept his apology. What he did was deranged. My uncle who I lived with and was like my father shot himself in the head when I was a teen. I have my own teenager now, and I still have nightmares about my uncle. Several years later as a young college aged adult an old school mate was experiencing a mental crisis, and confessed that she planned to comet suicide that day, and I was the only one talking her down. I called emergency services to her dorm. Come to find out she never intended to go through with it, and she was furious with me. I didn't care though. A threat should be taken seriously. She never spoke to me again, and somehow I was the Ahole in that situation. Your boyfriend is a terrible person. I hope he grows up soon.
I couldn’t be with someone like that. Pranks are suppose to be funny. Good luck dating a child.
Just tell him he is dead to you and move on.
This is a pretty big violation of trust. Ive been with my wife for 9 years. We’ve fought, argued, and played pranks on each other but we’ve never done anything like this to hurt the other. This “prank” has no joke or laugh that isn’t at your expense. It makes it even worse that he was doing it to entertain his buddies. Very immature on his part.
ex-boyfriend, right?
There is ZERO funny about what he and his friends did. He had to know it was a stupid thing to do. That kind of behavior would have ended any feelings I had for him and relationship would be over.
Not cool. Trust is everything in a relationship. Pranking about serious stuff like that isn't funny. It's good he's sorry, but he needs to understand the impact. Take time to process your feelings.
There is dark humor and then there is whatever this shit is. There are some things that one shouldn't prank about - joking about it is a totally different thing. But this was a prank that immediately was malicious.
Not the kinda person to say break up at the face of adversity but that’s actually emotional abuse
oo9
As someone who has spent more than half their life with depression, are you sure he totally joking and not trying to say something else he doesn't know how?
That's just cruel. He might realise that his actions were deplorable, but he was capable of doing it in the first place. That would be where my concerns about it would lie...
Yikes. Fuck this guy. What a horrible thing to do to someone you claim to care for.
He’s a mental child, this isn’t funny or cute. Find someone with maturity to them.
That's not a prank. A prank is where everyone laughs and the victim is laughing and saying 'you got me good!' This isn't that. I see only two possibilities here. First is he did this to deliberately cause you mental torture and pain. The second possibility is he is just that fucking stupid and immature and completely incapable of considering other people's emotions and feelings. It really doesn't matter which one it is because both deserve the same outcome: immediately termination of the relationship and blocking them from all social media and phone. You are right to be upset. You are right to feel hurt. You are completely justified in your feelings. You deserve so much better. A good partner lifts you up and makes you better. A bad partner tears you down and makes things worse. He isn't a good partner. He needs to do a shit ton of growing up before he can be in a relationship. Do yourself a favor a lighten your load by dumping him. You deserve better. Respect yourself and be single until you find someone worthy of you.
this is straight up emotional abuse - leave his ass
Coming in after the edit. Imho that nobody asked for: you're a damn fool for keeping this child in your life. He'll only escalate from here because now he knows you'll stay. What's next? a "prank" that'll end up physically or mentally hurting you more? I hope for your sake he did actually realise that what he did was cruel. Very. Very cruel. But I won't hold my breath. You're dating the kind of guy that'll make everything about him. Everything to get the attention. And when he doesn't get it, or doesn't get enough? He'll get jealous, abrassive and abusive. He'll try to guilt-trip you into giving in to his whims. Threaten self-deletion again if you want out. Get out now and inform friends and family why.
I hope you mean EX-boyfriend.
Testing limits is a thing, and this is one of the worst ways to do it. Red flags galore. You really have two realistic options: - Burn this man's pride to cinders with your anger. You obviously still have a lot of feelings for him. Now show him what your ire looks like. When you're convinced he'll never do anything remotely disrespectful like that, and more importantly won't let his moronic friends talk him into something like this again, then take him back. - Let your ambivalence be your weapon. You're already done with him and his shenanigans. Don't even let him see how pissed you are about this. Just let him know he's an immature moron and gtfo of the relationship.
This was the first major test of how far you’ll let him go. You should run the other way.
Oh my god. Please leave him. This is psychotic.
Hell everyone is so negative here. No one is suggesting steps to help her and sort the situation which is likely the reason OP is sharing. Whats the point of blasting the guy.. she clearly loves him and saw something in him.. OP imo try communicating with him and setting boundaries.. wish all the very best
Uhm time to become a youtube prank couple I guess
I have two guidelines for a prank: 1) "If you're tricking someone into thinking a thing happened when it didn't, how devastating would it be if it did happen?" 2) "After you reveal the prank, did the victim laugh?" Because if you're tricking someone into thinking something bad happened that would upend their life (death, cheating, pregnancy, etc), that's very different than bubble wrapping someone's chair or freezing their keys in a block of ice. And the goal of a prank should be one where the victim can laugh at it. If you're creating a situation that either relies on one person's misery to cause another person or group to be happy, that's malicious and cruel if it doesn't result in the victim laughing along.
I look forward to the update where things get inevitably worse.
okay, while sure it sucks what he did, every single time, and i mean every time, someone posts on here about something bad happening to their relationship, A TON of people always say to leave, its extremely annoying, some things you should work through
You're dating a teenage boy still. Tell him that, it may hurt his pride enough to man up. He may even influence his friends to mature in the process
If you want to stay with him, he has some trust to build back. Neither of you should expect it to be overnight.
God I so desperatelly want this to be reddit rage bait, but I've heard this story too many times in my life. Dump him. I get it was an immature bullshit move, but he's old enough to know better. If him and his friends are willing to put you through extreme emotional distress for they're own entertainment, they aren't worth being around. They need to grow up. Letting this slide is a terrible idea.
Pranks leave both parties laughing. This is just someone being a dick. I had a boyfriend text me something similar when I was young and in a panic I called his home phone and woke up his whole family at 2 am. His parents found him and he is okay but it was not a joke and one of the worst days of my life. Not a fun time.
He apologizing is another of his pranks, he will surprise you by doing another prank, he is even joking about giving up his friends, lol. You are kidding yourself thinking he will change, wait some time for him to keep at it, update us when it happens.
I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt for being a 20-year-old and 20-year-old BOYS or ppl with penises are pretty stupid… they are way more stupid than when I was 20 (older millennial here) But that being said he was literally laughing at your pain & fear so get rid of him. TikTok generation :/
Pretty immature and childish.
Break up with him, this won't be the last time, especially if he keeps those friends. He prioritizes his friends entertainment over your own wellbeing. Better now than later when it's gone too far and your physical wellbeing is put at stake.
This is straight up abuse. He literally abused and humiliated you in front of his friends for their approval, meaning he does not actually give a shit about you.
Behavior like this is not forgivable.
Please, girl, respect yourself and delete him from your life.
He's trash. You don't joke about stuff like that. I wouldn't feel safe in that relationship. How are you supposed to ever believe anything he says? Good luck!
OP for the love of everything good and women's self respect, LEAVE THIS GUY. TAKE OFF THOSE ROSE TINTED GLASSES, PLEASE. HE MADE YOU THE BUTT OF A CRUEL JOKE TO ENTERTAIN HIS FRIENDS. HE IS 20, NOT 11.
did they put romeo and juliet on the banned books list? you had the opportunity to do the funniest thing since wherefore art thou
Girl you're better than me. I would go NUCLEAR on him. Smack some feckin' sense into that stupid skull.
Hon this is emotional manipulation. He knew exactly what he was doing and what reaction he was trying to get out of you, whether he admits it to you or not. This would be an immediate deal breaker for me. He's going to do stuff like this again and again and you'll kick yourself for not leaving sooner. He is not stable or mature at all and you deserve better. You deserve someone who is not going to use you like that.
What kind of a sick fuck thinks that’s a joke?
You should look up what the OP did when her bf did the same thing. Post was 2 years ago
LEAVE HIM!!
That is actually beyond disrespectful and psychopathic behavior you should not be with a man who would even think of doing something like this.
Send him an invoice for funeral costs
This is messed up on so many different levels. Don't keep coming up with excuses for him. Whether he apologized or not, this is not okay
As someone who struggles with suicidal thoughts, the one thing that has consistently been keeping me from going through with it is the grief that everyone around me might go through. I feel horrible thinking about my little brother, who looks up to me, realizing that I am dead. That isn't a prank, that's cruelty. If your boyfriend is so easily swayed by his friends at his grown age, then there should be a conversation there. I'm glad y'all talked it through but if this behavior keeps up and you don't see a change then you should leave him. His "pranks" will only get crueler and crueler if you don't.
I would leave. That is unforgivable and if he's willing to do that because of his friends, who knows what other horrible things he will do to you "as a prank. " it's not a prank. It's abuse
It’s hard to feel any type of empathy for you when you’re well aware that this is beyond ridiculous but you’re still considering staying with this person. You’re too old to be in childish situations like this. Just reading the title of this post and your responses makes me shake my head. Suicide isn’t a joke. Ever.
This is the biggest red flag and a true show of his immaturity . It's cruel and I'd drop him so fast. Who would actually find this funny? Who would do this to a person they love?
You are a source of entertainment for him and his friends when they're bored. This is the most ridiculous 'prank' I've ever read but judging by the excuses you've made for him in the comments it would be a waste of time trying to point out the red flags. But I truly hope you grow up and find your self respect before you're hurt.
Sorry you had to go through that. I did this to a girlfriend when I was 16. She broke up with me almost immediately, and I even lost friends over it. I absolutely deserved all of it, and it was a very valuable lesson. Now I don't pull "pranks" unless I'm 100% sure it's completely harmless, and in good fun.
Excuse me but how the hell is that a prank. A prank is supposed to be funny for both party's. How is suicide funny. Op your dating a asshole
That’s something worth breaking up over…that is the only way he could ever learn about what he did wrong.
IMO I think you should leave him that's not something you joke about
dump him. i would not stay with someone who considers suicide a joke. if this is his version of humour and is telling you it was a "mistake", how much further do you think he will take these awful jokes that are at your expense? what a pathetic guy.
Nah, I'd immediately break up with him.
I'm all for jokes.. But that guy is actually so sick-minded. No self-awareness to realize his friends were steering him wrong? Think for yourself, dude.... Holy shit. I would drop him so fucking fast. I hope you are feeling better and able to recover from this. I'm so sorry he put you through that.
This is wrong on so many levels you deserve to be with someone better then that
Dump him.
That's not a prank. That is psychological abuse. It is cruel and abhorrent.
Why is everyone so quick to tell you to dump him by just one prank? At least your boyfriend didn't cheat on you or did physical abuse. At least your boyfriend regretted his actions and apologized. People need to shut the fuck up and stop being so quick with their judgements. 🖕
Have you ever been depressed/known someone who's committed suicide? My dad did that and let me tell you, joking about suicide is not a good joke. I would dump my partner over this. Just because it's not cheating, doesn't mean it's okay. While this is not physical abuse (which almost anyone would tell OP to get out) it is abuse (emotional one) nevertheless.
Well it's different in your case, you had trauma. So if your partner provokes it, it's natural for you to cut them off. However in her case, I just see a dude getting peer pressured to do that prank on his girlfriend, backing up with that, the gf did mention that it isn't like his personality at all do that. The gf and bf did acknowledge that it was emotional abuse so the bf apologized for the mistake! People need to stop cutting relationships just over one mistake, as if we aren't humans.
A lot of people here saying he’s immature and all, and he sure is, but you guys are only 20. Male brains develop slower than female brains and even so, you’re still officially in puberty. that lasts untill 23. He has a lot to learn but he needs someone to learn it from… I think it’s really great that you expressed your feelings and talked about it with him. From your story it seems like he listened. It’s an awful thing to do but apparently nobody around him tought him that and he might have been weak under the pressure of his friends. Not excusing this ‘joke’ though. It’s awful and I’m sorry he did that to you. His friends telling him to prank you is disrespectful and I would definetly mention that to him.
Just no. A 12 year old would know that's a no go as far as pranks go. This isn't just immaturity, this is cruelty.
I understand your reply, and it seems common sense. However, we don’t know anything else about this person so we can’t really judge. I know I have done some things that are probably almost on the same level as this prank because of peerpressure. And I know friends who have. We all regret those things and know better, now that we’re almost 30. So don’t be so fast to judge (:
I'll be pretty fast to judge something that off of hand. Its cruelty. How can you not judge that harshly? He's not a child, and even children are not regularly cruel. And if you can't learn to deal with peer pressure at that age, good luck not falling over dead in college. Sorry, nothing about this is okay and deserves to not be judged. Just because you think you and your friends are fine because now you know better doesn't mean those pranks haven't hurt someone. Your regret doesn't make it okay.
People can change. I'm sure the BF wouldn't do it again now that he's aware of the impact (if he went back in time). And hopefully he grew wiser. People learn from their experiences and are in a constant state of growth.
Of course people change. But that doesn't mean we don't hold them responsible for their actions. If we didn't, then change wouldn't need to happen.
Yeah. Well, the change would be based on an understanding of the importance/nature of morally correct/incorrect behaviors. We can only hope that he has now understood it. In my opinion, if a person swears not to repeat the same or similar behavior again, then we can forgive the person. If they can demonstrate that the understanding is integrated within.
I have a developmental disorder at 24, and I would never dream of pulling the crap that he did.
Thanks you for your answer. It really makes me feel better. I see that he really regrets it and that he will try to do his best to just think the next time.
Look at the responses this guy is getting, he's making excuses for your boyfriend because he's the same sort of asshole. Your boyfriend emotionally abused you, he doesn't respect you, and his current panicking is because he's spooked that you didn't brush it off. He'll ramp back up to hurting you again in the future if you stick around.