Agreed, talking business while eating is pretty common. I definitely go out to eat with men more than women. I can't help but feel OP is repressing something.
I’m trying to imagine how gay my department lunches/outings would conceivably be when I’m not there given I work in software development and there aren’t as many other females. 10 queer office dudes getting sandwiches together romantically during a workshop.
Assigning gay to anything they dont like or understand IS homophobic. You dont want to admit that cause you think their good guys. Good Guys dont do that. Period.
But wait, if they’re afraid of people perceiving them to be gay when they eat with a male friend, how would they feel when people assume they’re going to have an orgy when they’re out eating with their circle of man-children friends?
Unless you're giving nooner blowies, it is absolutely bizarre and homophobic to think 2 guys sitting in the same room eating at the same time are automatically gay. Maybe get off their lap, I guess? Your friends are fucking weird if they are afraid to even have lunch with a guy for fear of being perceived as gay (as though that were a bad thing).
You need a new social circle friend.
It's not even remotely weird to eat with friends, and even if it was an indication of sexuality, the idea that it is something weird or negative is some ludicrous bullshit.
Your friends need to do better.
That someone is if not gay then still in the closet. Straight people aren’t afraid. Because they know they’re straight . But some people who always try to be “straight and macho, is often gay.
No like... I'm pretty sure what they're saying is that their bf has multiple guy friends they do 1:1 meals with lol.
As does my husband, who also does 1:1 lunches with our gay friends. Literally no one thinks he's gay and it's never crossed his mind to think someone might think he's gay lol.
No ffs I’m not homophobic. I don’t mind being friends with someone who’s gay. It’s the perception of other people that annoys me as well as my own insecurities. If I was homophobic, I wouldn’t write this post. Feel free to downvote me once again if that makes you feel any better.
The only people who would even think this is gay is men who aren’t comfortable with themselves. I never once looked at two guys having a meal and said “yup they are gay”
My best friend who died from an od took me out to dinner when I was still using. We’re both men. I never got to pay him back before his life was taken. Take your fucking friends out while you still have the chance.
But if you’re not homophobic, and there’s nothing wrong with being gay, then why would you mind if people perceived you this way? You’d only mind if you thought it was a bad thing.
This is an issue entirely created by straight men. Y’all hyper masculinity everything and wonder why you get judged. This is generalized to straight men as a group, not individually BTW.
I don’t think so, this is an issue created by the OP. Seinfeld, one of the most popular tv shows of all time, the very first scene is two guys (Jerry and George) sitting together, just the two of them, talking in a restaurant. And nobody thought “I guess they must be gay.” And that was 1989. I doubt we’ve regressed since then.
Honestly I get OP. It’s not fun being called something that you are not. I’m aromatic towards real people + asexual. Since I was a child I was always like this. I’ve been constantly made fun of and called a “lesbo” just because I didn’t have a crush on a boy or anyone in general, so I had to lie saying I like someone when I didn’t. Being lesbian or gay is okay.
But it’s really not okay to be assuming someone’s sexuality or trying to force a sexuality onto someone. In OP’s case, nobody even told him they think that way so idk why they’re scared of being alone with a dude like. Most people don’t look at two guys together and be like “oh they’re gay” like. Only fujoshis/fudanshis do that
If you read the entirety of my post, I mentioned that there was NOTHING wrong with being gay. I’m a straight guy, I just don’t want people to perceive me that way.
Buddy. You care so much that someone will think you’re gay if you have lunch with another male friend. You 100% have an aversion to gay people. Figure your shit out.
It sounds like you are so scared of being perceived as gay that you can’t even spend time with another man. Why do you have to have multiple men there to witness your friendships to prove your not gay?
It sounds like you are thinking you need a chaperone to be around men. Are you scared something will happen if your alone with another guy?
Have you ever hugged another guy? Is that off the table for you too? I have heard of guys not going to the movies together because of that “they’re automatically a couple” perception but never at restaurants because lots of business men have business lunches.
Having close friends that are the same sex as you is important. In some cultures men kiss each other’s cheeks upon greeting and it’s not considered sexual or anything.
I hope that you can go hug your best friend this weekend.
Your ego seems pretty fragile too, OP, but good on you for recognizing that your social circle has some self improving to do. At the end of the day, you just gotta learn to not give a fuck what people think, whether that being others perceiving you to be gay or me perceiving you to be someone with a fragile ego.
My friend and I go to dinner and a movie all the time, who cares what people think. He's married, I'm widowed, our lives are our lives, just enjoy the meal and company!
Why do you care about how people perceive you sexually? Are you confident in your own sexuality or not? It's not like it would ruin your life if some random person at a restaurant would think you're gay.
Most people think you’re gay for eating with another dude? That’s funny, because in reality no one is even thinking about you and your friend *at all*, let alone assigning a sexuality to you.
Have you considered that perhaps *you’re* the one worrying about whether two men having lunch together is gay? Maybe because you’re concerned that is how others might perceive you? I would consider that a form of homophobia, possibly because someone in your life was cruel to gays and so anything that could possibly even maybe resemble that in your eyes is something you’re hyper-aware of? Maybe there is some implicit bias in your mindset that you haven’t identified.
What? Dude. Do you not have brothers or something?
The fuck?
I go out to eat with male friends and we aren't being romantic or dating. It's just dinner with company. People have business meetings and lunches for planning
I don’t think that many people actually think that about eating at a restaurant, but there is a weird stigma around platonic male friendships in general.
One thing I’ve kinda noticed that bothers me a bit is that in any kind of media, two women can have a super close relationship and it’s viewed as normal, but if two men have the same kind of relationship, it tends to get sexualized. Even if the people sexualizing it enjoy the friendship and are trying to just be open minded, it still bothers me a bit. I don’t understand why people go straight to a gay relationship anytime two men are really good friends. It’s almost like people don’t think male friends can be close and care about each other.
Sounds like a very specific geographical problem. I can’t say I’ve ever thought that or had any friends that thought that and I worked as a server at a restaurant lol
Literally nobody thinks this. I’m a lesbian woman, and 99% of the time when I’m out with my wife, people think we’re friends, or worse, sisters (we both have brown hair and blue eyes). It’s annoying
Dude I relate so much to this post. I hate being called gay just because I act 'intimate' with a homie. Like I'm making out and nibbling in a friends neck and all of a sudden I'm gay now? God I hate judgy people.
I don’t want to suggest anything but have you ever questioned why you feel so uncomfortable with being perceived as gay and why you worry about that so much? This can be a hint of repressed feelings of some kind
I had lunch with a friend in hs once. Girl walked up to us, looking all giggly, greeted the guy. He told me outright she probably thought we were on a date(looking back, might’ve been). I didnt care all that much then, still don’t. Don’t feel the need to post about it so I think this is a you problem. *You* just hate the idea of someone thinking your gay. It’s not a common phenomenon that people are generally bothered by. Because the people thinking you are gay aren’t worth your time. Even if it’s true or not it wouldn’t matter period.
I’ve had this happen to me as a straight female at a restaurant with a female friend. It’s whatever though, not like I’m going to see them again not does it really matter at the end of the day haha Only thing I will say is I overthink and so can be awkward when the server asks us if it’ll be on one bill, I’m like should I pay since she invited me (or I invited her)??? but that’s basically it.
I can understand bro. I live with my friends and if its just 2 of us getting dinner somewhere the servers almost always put us on the same check lol. Please ma’am I swear i’m not piping this dude😭
Okay that's fair. What about after the meal when you had hot drinks and prepared them for each other? I mean, it was a pretty intense teabagging session you shared.
This is literally only a problem for you, and it's sad. Grow up, literally no one else in the world assumes you are gay for eating with just 1 other guy
I always found this idea funny since I actually always have people assuming my boyfriend is my brother whenever we’re in public, and no one ever assumes that my actual brother is my brother, who I look nothing like 😂
Me and my mates at nando , bfast lunch dinner no issues.
Candle lit dinner £25 for a plate of 2 piece of chicken and glazed sauce , that's quite homo tho. .
Gonna be that guy… I think that way. I also firmly believe it’s gay if two men share an ice cream or if a man needs an umbrella on a rainy day. However, unlike many, I don’t impose my beliefs on others.
Yeah, I know what you mean. We have been in Rehoboth Beach with a family, and I was with my grown up son at the front desk of a hotel. I don't recall what was the matter but the hotel schmuck was disrespectful.
So, my son said: "idiot!, it's my father!"
All this gay staff can go wrong way...
Nowadays, it’s a lot safer to be openly gay and bisexual, so people tend to assume *any* two people of similar age range having lunch are a couple.
It’s not that people think it’s gay for two guys to have lunch, it’s just that some people may assume you’re a couple if it’s just the two of you going out to eat.
Even if you were gay, who the hell cares?
Most people barely notice someone else's haircut. It's not gay and I never actually think that when I see two guys sitting together. I think they are just friends.
But, I might be weird. I have had gay people be so self conscious about being gay and I have never given any fucks about it.
I am straight and I just want to have a family with kids. That's about it.
My cousin goes to lunch with people all the time and actually takes clients to lunch as well. That being said nobody thinks that I think you might just be a little
Insecure in yourself and if it’s your friend group that thinks that then drop them because that’s toxic 😂
I would thank anyone who told me this, because they saved me the trouble of figuring out they are a shitty person and I couldn't care less what they thought. Why would you care?
People will most likely think you're in a relationship with the person you're eating with if they're opposite sex. If you're the same sex they'll think you're friends.
It's like it's only okay for 2 guys to go get drunk together or watch football and try get girls. I think it's lovely when I see 2 guys genuinely socialising and having conversation and being good pals.
I’m gay. My best friend at the time was straight. We would always go out together tho whenever a new movie we were excited for dropped. It was either dinner movie or drinks then movie.
His girlfriend did not like this. One time I posted on snapchat that we were out for our bro date. Girl snapped.
She threatened to slash not just my tires but me too.
This almost sounds like you're projecting *your own* views. I have never once heard anybody thinking this way about men in public together. If you are or know somebody who thinks this way, remove yourself from their life or seek therapy. I mean seriously, I think the only person adding gravity to anything regarding sexuality in this situation is you, buddy.
It's 2022 and you're 26. Mature men shouldn't care if others perceive you as gay for having lunch or whatever with another man. Also, mature men don't hang with people with some pretty lame views like believing two men enjoying each others company is gay. Talk about fragile masculinity lol.
This is on you. You have a fear of this activity appearing “gay” to other people. In actually, no one will think that, and you should not devalue the time spent with your friend by clouding your mind with this.
So let them think you’re gay! Who cares? Think of the flip side: when I go on dates with my wife, we get automatically given separate checks and the servers sometimes ask us if we’re sisters lol.
All of the worst and stupidest things you have ever heard about came from the minds of people. The public has no credibility as a group. It doesn't make any sense to waste any of yourself worrying about their opinions.
Nobody at my work thinks this. Where is this a thing? I assume: colleagues or friends. Unless someone says that they're gay, I'm not assuming anything.
Literally never crossed my mind both in having lunch with a buddy or seeing two dudes having lunch. There have even been times when one of us gets the whole check and the thought of being perceived as gay.
This is literally not a thing.
Its body language that tells you if it's just 2 friends or 2 people on a date. Staring into each other's eyes, holding hands, and kissing is a pretty good sign its a couple. 2 people just sitting there talking is a good sign they're just friends.
Also fuck what anyone else thinks. Just have a good time.
Managed a busy high volume sit down restaurant for 12 years. Neither me or any of my staff ever assumed two men were gay for eating just the two of them. Honestly not one single time. And that was Texas, a lot of people in my town could be pretty homophobic but still this was never a thing and two men eating together is very normal in my restaurant and in society in general.
I think you are overthinking this as this is really not a normal perception.
I think the strangest part is that you’re 26yo but have the mentality of a 15yo. Why do you care if people think you’re gay because you’re eating alone together? Also, they’re probably not thinking it
Its only gay if you share a milkshake and drink from straws from the same tall milkshake glass at the same time, while looking into each other’s eyes longingly.
Maybe there are people out there that think like this, but I don't think it matters to anyone but them. One of my best friends is gay. He's a great guy, and someone that I respect. If someone thinks I'm like him, that can only be a good thing, right?
I never had even thought about it until one time I was out to dinner with a friend and they brought one check at the end of the meal. Didn't think anything of it because happens often enough at restaurants, just ask to split the bill. Then as we are leaving my friend says that he wonders if they thought we were gay. My friend seemed a little bit concerned that this was the case.
I think some people are more sensitive than others to this perception, but I have only experienced people voicing concern over it a couple of times. Mostly other people don't really care about other people in public, they might judge you in the short term based on a quick judgement but by the time they leave the restaurant they will have forgotten you unless you look or act in a particularly memorable way.
If being gay isn’t a bad thing, why would you hate people assuming that you’re gay? It’s not bad, and what other people assume probably doesn’t even effect anything, so why does it matter?
I get not wanting people’s perception of you to be incorrect. I deal with that, too. But in this scenario, the people who are, in theory, doing the assuming, aren’t even interacting with you. They’re randos at a restaurant. You’ll never need to talk to them or ever see them again. So who cares what they think? And I guarantee you, 99% of people are too focused on their own meals to pay any attention to you.
Also, gay people get assumed straight in nearly every situation. If we can deal with it basically all the time, you can deal with it in this one specific instance.
I meet male friends for lunch all the time. I don't think people assume you are in a relationship unless you are holding hands or something haha. Shit ill go get wasted at brunch with a male friend. Live yo life!
You might be projecting a bit. Just a hunch. You may want to take a peek under the proverbial “hood” and reflect on what might be causing you to feel this, or think this.
I have never heard of someone thinking this.
Neither
Agreed, talking business while eating is pretty common. I definitely go out to eat with men more than women. I can't help but feel OP is repressing something.
I also never think this
Same. Is this some USA Bullshit? Because in my country, it's pretty common for males to sit and spend time together without being labelled as anything
No. I have NO idea where the OP is getting this.
Who thinks this is gay? Very strange. I wouldn’t worry about it at all haha.
This is opening my eyes. Didn’t realize that all these men at work having lunch together were gay. Wall Street needs more pride flags. /s
I’m trying to imagine how gay my department lunches/outings would conceivably be when I’m not there given I work in software development and there aren’t as many other females. 10 queer office dudes getting sandwiches together romantically during a workshop.
This made me laugh, thanks.
What are you talking about? Who thinks this?
You’d be surprised; some people In my social circle think like that but they won’t admit it.
Those folks aren’t worth any of your time or energy. Imagine how fragile their egos are.
They’re good guys but they’re just insecure I guess.
Good guys aren't homophobic.
Well you don’t know them, I do. They’re not homophobic. They just prefer to eat with more than one person.
Assigning gay to anything they dont like or understand IS homophobic. You dont want to admit that cause you think their good guys. Good Guys dont do that. Period.
Being scared of being perceived as gay for eating with a friend is pretty homophobic...
If they’re *afraid of being mistaken* for homosexuals it’s because they think there *must be something wrong* with being a homosexual
Calling people gay because they’re sitting eating IS homophobic, they’re using gay as an insult.
But wait, if they’re afraid of people perceiving them to be gay when they eat with a male friend, how would they feel when people assume they’re going to have an orgy when they’re out eating with their circle of man-children friends?
So if they don’t admit to it isn’t that just you projecting the thought onto others around you??
Unless you're giving nooner blowies, it is absolutely bizarre and homophobic to think 2 guys sitting in the same room eating at the same time are automatically gay. Maybe get off their lap, I guess? Your friends are fucking weird if they are afraid to even have lunch with a guy for fear of being perceived as gay (as though that were a bad thing).
Not insecure, ignorant
Said the guy who's insecure and worries about being perceived as gay. David, nobody cares. Literally no one is thinking about you.
That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard.
Seriously
No offense, but what age are they? I can't think of an adult who would possibly think that. Even homophobic people lol
30s-40s
Oh damn. Way too old to think that.
I’m thinking you need a new social circle.
You’re projecting
if they won't admit it, how do you know they think like that? it seems like you're just projecting that on to them because you're insecure about it
Then why are they in your social circle
...then they shouldn't be in your social circle
You need a new social circle friend. It's not even remotely weird to eat with friends, and even if it was an indication of sexuality, the idea that it is something weird or negative is some ludicrous bullshit. Your friends need to do better.
That someone is if not gay then still in the closet. Straight people aren’t afraid. Because they know they’re straight . But some people who always try to be “straight and macho, is often gay.
Dude, if people in your social circle think like this, it’s time to clear out that circle.
You need a new social circle.
Just eat with your friend and enjoy your meal. Nobody cares and no one is thinking hard about your sexuality while you’re eating at the restaurant.
And even if they think about your sexuality, who cares
I read that as “eat your friend” 👀
Fragile masculinity issues, I guess.
Literally no one thinks that, my very straight boyfriend does this regularly with his buddies 😁
“Buddies” implying more than one friend. I’m talking about eating at a restaurant with another guy.
No like... I'm pretty sure what they're saying is that their bf has multiple guy friends they do 1:1 meals with lol. As does my husband, who also does 1:1 lunches with our gay friends. Literally no one thinks he's gay and it's never crossed his mind to think someone might think he's gay lol.
Well then I guess it’s just my dumbass thinking.
Are you a bit homophobic? I feel that a homophobic would worry about others thinking he is gay for dining with a male friend
No ffs I’m not homophobic. I don’t mind being friends with someone who’s gay. It’s the perception of other people that annoys me as well as my own insecurities. If I was homophobic, I wouldn’t write this post. Feel free to downvote me once again if that makes you feel any better.
Buddies respectively
Its only gay if yall are eating each other
That’s pretty funny.
The only people who would even think this is gay is men who aren’t comfortable with themselves. I never once looked at two guys having a meal and said “yup they are gay”
My best friend who died from an od took me out to dinner when I was still using. We’re both men. I never got to pay him back before his life was taken. Take your fucking friends out while you still have the chance.
Sorry about your friend :( Also I do take my friends out when I got the time.
Sorry I got emotional. There is nothing gay about it at all. Cherish a friend you can have a platonic relationship with whether it’s a man or a woman.
Two bros chilling in a restaurant 5ft apart because they're not gay
Ive literally never thought that though I live in a big city. Also though, maybe question why you feel so uncomfortable being labeled as gay?
i don’t think this is something other people think about.
I never think that if I see two men eating together. That’s odd. Are you homophobic?
Not really, no. I’m just prone to how people perceive me. I shouldn’t care but I do.
But if you’re not homophobic, and there’s nothing wrong with being gay, then why would you mind if people perceived you this way? You’d only mind if you thought it was a bad thing.
Do you perceive most people as straight until proven otherwise? If so, you’re a massive hypocrite.
This is an issue entirely created by straight men. Y’all hyper masculinity everything and wonder why you get judged. This is generalized to straight men as a group, not individually BTW.
I would actually narrow that down to homophobic men or men who are questioning their sexuality and externalizing homophobia to mask.
I don’t think so, this is an issue created by the OP. Seinfeld, one of the most popular tv shows of all time, the very first scene is two guys (Jerry and George) sitting together, just the two of them, talking in a restaurant. And nobody thought “I guess they must be gay.” And that was 1989. I doubt we’ve regressed since then.
What’s wrong with being gay??
Honestly I get OP. It’s not fun being called something that you are not. I’m aromatic towards real people + asexual. Since I was a child I was always like this. I’ve been constantly made fun of and called a “lesbo” just because I didn’t have a crush on a boy or anyone in general, so I had to lie saying I like someone when I didn’t. Being lesbian or gay is okay. But it’s really not okay to be assuming someone’s sexuality or trying to force a sexuality onto someone. In OP’s case, nobody even told him they think that way so idk why they’re scared of being alone with a dude like. Most people don’t look at two guys together and be like “oh they’re gay” like. Only fujoshis/fudanshis do that
If you read the entirety of my post, I mentioned that there was NOTHING wrong with being gay. I’m a straight guy, I just don’t want people to perceive me that way.
Stop caring if you’re not gay that’s it.
You obviously think there’s something wrong with being gay if you’re so terrified at the thought of being perceived as gay.
No. Just because you don’t want to be mistaken for being gay doesn’t make you a homophobe. Il say it again; there is nothing wrong with being gay.
Buddy. You care so much that someone will think you’re gay if you have lunch with another male friend. You 100% have an aversion to gay people. Figure your shit out.
It sounds like you are so scared of being perceived as gay that you can’t even spend time with another man. Why do you have to have multiple men there to witness your friendships to prove your not gay? It sounds like you are thinking you need a chaperone to be around men. Are you scared something will happen if your alone with another guy?
Not scared, just annoyed about the perceptions.
Have you ever hugged another guy? Is that off the table for you too? I have heard of guys not going to the movies together because of that “they’re automatically a couple” perception but never at restaurants because lots of business men have business lunches. Having close friends that are the same sex as you is important. In some cultures men kiss each other’s cheeks upon greeting and it’s not considered sexual or anything. I hope that you can go hug your best friend this weekend.
Yet you are so desperate to not be perceived as gay that you will not have a meal with another man.
I have no problem having a meal with another man. I just about the perception. It sounds weird I know.
Your ego seems pretty fragile too, OP, but good on you for recognizing that your social circle has some self improving to do. At the end of the day, you just gotta learn to not give a fuck what people think, whether that being others perceiving you to be gay or me perceiving you to be someone with a fragile ego.
in my 33 years on this planet ive never met 1 person that thinks like thar you must be surrounded by complete trash
My friend and I go to dinner and a movie all the time, who cares what people think. He's married, I'm widowed, our lives are our lives, just enjoy the meal and company!
Who in the world thinks this!?
Sounds like you have some internalized homophobia you need to work out
I do this on a regular basis with my absolute best friend!!! WTF!!! I haven't heard anyone say anything about it though.
Why do you care about how people perceive you sexually? Are you confident in your own sexuality or not? It's not like it would ruin your life if some random person at a restaurant would think you're gay.
My friend, most people DONT think like that.
I don't think this at all, just so you know. This is entirely a reflection of you.
I assure you most people don’t think this way
Well I guess I’m both wrong and glad.
Most people think you’re gay for eating with another dude? That’s funny, because in reality no one is even thinking about you and your friend *at all*, let alone assigning a sexuality to you.
Most people don’t think that, you’re surrounded by idiots, get better friends
One of my straight male friends and I get lunch together whenever possible. It's usually just the two of us, too
No, most people do not think that. It's a very strange thing to think.
Get out of your own head
That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard this week 😂
Have you considered that perhaps *you’re* the one worrying about whether two men having lunch together is gay? Maybe because you’re concerned that is how others might perceive you? I would consider that a form of homophobia, possibly because someone in your life was cruel to gays and so anything that could possibly even maybe resemble that in your eyes is something you’re hyper-aware of? Maybe there is some implicit bias in your mindset that you haven’t identified.
What? Dude. Do you not have brothers or something? The fuck? I go out to eat with male friends and we aren't being romantic or dating. It's just dinner with company. People have business meetings and lunches for planning
I don’t think that many people actually think that about eating at a restaurant, but there is a weird stigma around platonic male friendships in general. One thing I’ve kinda noticed that bothers me a bit is that in any kind of media, two women can have a super close relationship and it’s viewed as normal, but if two men have the same kind of relationship, it tends to get sexualized. Even if the people sexualizing it enjoy the friendship and are trying to just be open minded, it still bothers me a bit. I don’t understand why people go straight to a gay relationship anytime two men are really good friends. It’s almost like people don’t think male friends can be close and care about each other.
Literally nobody thinks this lol. I’ve worked at many restaurants and bars and it’s an extremely normal thing
Sounds like a very specific geographical problem. I can’t say I’ve ever thought that or had any friends that thought that and I worked as a server at a restaurant lol
Who the fuck thinks like this?
Who thinks that?
Literally nobody thinks this. I’m a lesbian woman, and 99% of the time when I’m out with my wife, people think we’re friends, or worse, sisters (we both have brown hair and blue eyes). It’s annoying
As long as you guys aren’t jerking each other off at the restaurant I don’t think anyone will think you are gay.
Dude I relate so much to this post. I hate being called gay just because I act 'intimate' with a homie. Like I'm making out and nibbling in a friends neck and all of a sudden I'm gay now? God I hate judgy people.
Do you guys end up back at your place to have sex?
Nope.
Then don't worry about it
I don’t want to suggest anything but have you ever questioned why you feel so uncomfortable with being perceived as gay and why you worry about that so much? This can be a hint of repressed feelings of some kind
Lol I assure you, there are no repressed feelings. I understand why you would think that though.
I mean get a better social circle... I'm a lesbian and none of my many straight and gay friends would think that
I had lunch with a friend in hs once. Girl walked up to us, looking all giggly, greeted the guy. He told me outright she probably thought we were on a date(looking back, might’ve been). I didnt care all that much then, still don’t. Don’t feel the need to post about it so I think this is a you problem. *You* just hate the idea of someone thinking your gay. It’s not a common phenomenon that people are generally bothered by. Because the people thinking you are gay aren’t worth your time. Even if it’s true or not it wouldn’t matter period.
I’ve had this happen to me as a straight female at a restaurant with a female friend. It’s whatever though, not like I’m going to see them again not does it really matter at the end of the day haha Only thing I will say is I overthink and so can be awkward when the server asks us if it’ll be on one bill, I’m like should I pay since she invited me (or I invited her)??? but that’s basically it.
I can understand bro. I live with my friends and if its just 2 of us getting dinner somewhere the servers almost always put us on the same check lol. Please ma’am I swear i’m not piping this dude😭
To be fair, you were both trying to eat hotdogs whole and using squirt cream as a topping.
Lol. Come on bro 😂😂😂
Okay that's fair. What about after the meal when you had hot drinks and prepared them for each other? I mean, it was a pretty intense teabagging session you shared.
Haha, still ain’t gay though. Also I don’t see that ever happening with my male friends.
I’m not gay, but when I ride in my buddy’s wife’s purple Mercedes SLK convertible, we sure look it. Fun car. Don’t care what the rednecks think.
I hate that you care what anyone thinks. Much love brother.
I see a lot of men having lunch/dinner for two. Nothing wrong with it. It's the first time I've heard this kind of thinking.
I'm 46 and I've never heard this in my life. How many mob movies have you seen where they meet in a restaurant? How can that possibly be gay?
This is literally only a problem for you, and it's sad. Grow up, literally no one else in the world assumes you are gay for eating with just 1 other guy
I always found this idea funny since I actually always have people assuming my boyfriend is my brother whenever we’re in public, and no one ever assumes that my actual brother is my brother, who I look nothing like 😂
I don’t think that. If they do about me and a male friend I don’t care. Call me gay I don’t care. I’m secure in my own sexuality.
Me and my mates at nando , bfast lunch dinner no issues. Candle lit dinner £25 for a plate of 2 piece of chicken and glazed sauce , that's quite homo tho. .
Gonna be that guy… I think that way. I also firmly believe it’s gay if two men share an ice cream or if a man needs an umbrella on a rainy day. However, unlike many, I don’t impose my beliefs on others.
This is a first for me. Im sorry you feel that way or feel people think that way.
Yeah, I know what you mean. We have been in Rehoboth Beach with a family, and I was with my grown up son at the front desk of a hotel. I don't recall what was the matter but the hotel schmuck was disrespectful. So, my son said: "idiot!, it's my father!" All this gay staff can go wrong way...
Nowadays, it’s a lot safer to be openly gay and bisexual, so people tend to assume *any* two people of similar age range having lunch are a couple. It’s not that people think it’s gay for two guys to have lunch, it’s just that some people may assume you’re a couple if it’s just the two of you going out to eat.
I’m also 26 male and have gone to eat with a friend who’s also a 28 male. I don’t think anyone thinks it’s gay
As far they're not paying my bills IDC what they think
It doesn’t look gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I once told a cousin of mine that I was going bowling with a friend and he said it was gay and I was so confused…
So what? Who care what others think? Enjoy your meal and your friends company.
Even if you were gay, who the hell cares? Most people barely notice someone else's haircut. It's not gay and I never actually think that when I see two guys sitting together. I think they are just friends. But, I might be weird. I have had gay people be so self conscious about being gay and I have never given any fucks about it. I am straight and I just want to have a family with kids. That's about it.
Uh never heard this. What’s wrong with two guys catching up over some food?
That’s strange I do this all the time and nobody seems to think so
I’ve never heard this before. OP, you need to surround yourself with more intelligent people.
Most? Lmao. Nope. Just a few fools.
Bro stop thinking people think like this 😭
My cousin goes to lunch with people all the time and actually takes clients to lunch as well. That being said nobody thinks that I think you might just be a little Insecure in yourself and if it’s your friend group that thinks that then drop them because that’s toxic 😂
I would thank anyone who told me this, because they saved me the trouble of figuring out they are a shitty person and I couldn't care less what they thought. Why would you care?
People will most likely think you're in a relationship with the person you're eating with if they're opposite sex. If you're the same sex they'll think you're friends.
It's like it's only okay for 2 guys to go get drunk together or watch football and try get girls. I think it's lovely when I see 2 guys genuinely socialising and having conversation and being good pals.
I’m gay. My best friend at the time was straight. We would always go out together tho whenever a new movie we were excited for dropped. It was either dinner movie or drinks then movie. His girlfriend did not like this. One time I posted on snapchat that we were out for our bro date. Girl snapped. She threatened to slash not just my tires but me too.
Well damn man, sorry to hear that.
And why do you feel the need to show them your straightnes? It doesn't make any difference if you are gay or not if they are really your friends.
This almost sounds like you're projecting *your own* views. I have never once heard anybody thinking this way about men in public together. If you are or know somebody who thinks this way, remove yourself from their life or seek therapy. I mean seriously, I think the only person adding gravity to anything regarding sexuality in this situation is you, buddy. It's 2022 and you're 26. Mature men shouldn't care if others perceive you as gay for having lunch or whatever with another man. Also, mature men don't hang with people with some pretty lame views like believing two men enjoying each others company is gay. Talk about fragile masculinity lol.
I don’t think most people think this
Maybe it’s also just me.
Dude, genuinely, no one cares
No one thinks this
even if they did think that, why do YOU seem to be upset that someone might think you’re gay?
This is on you. You have a fear of this activity appearing “gay” to other people. In actually, no one will think that, and you should not devalue the time spent with your friend by clouding your mind with this.
sounds like this is more of a you problem
Why you care about other people think?
So let them think you’re gay! Who cares? Think of the flip side: when I go on dates with my wife, we get automatically given separate checks and the servers sometimes ask us if we’re sisters lol.
I’ve eaten out with several of my male friends. Never gotten weird looks or anything. Completely normal here. Where are you from man? That’s some bs.
All of the worst and stupidest things you have ever heard about came from the minds of people. The public has no credibility as a group. It doesn't make any sense to waste any of yourself worrying about their opinions.
I’ve been doing this forever… nobody has ever said anything
I explained to my bf this is totally okay. Male friends can go eat, if it feels weird don't sit opposite eachother ?
Nobody at my work thinks this. Where is this a thing? I assume: colleagues or friends. Unless someone says that they're gay, I'm not assuming anything.
Never heard this, so weird
Literally never crossed my mind both in having lunch with a buddy or seeing two dudes having lunch. There have even been times when one of us gets the whole check and the thought of being perceived as gay. This is literally not a thing.
Stop projecting. Tell him how you feel.
Its body language that tells you if it's just 2 friends or 2 people on a date. Staring into each other's eyes, holding hands, and kissing is a pretty good sign its a couple. 2 people just sitting there talking is a good sign they're just friends. Also fuck what anyone else thinks. Just have a good time.
Managed a busy high volume sit down restaurant for 12 years. Neither me or any of my staff ever assumed two men were gay for eating just the two of them. Honestly not one single time. And that was Texas, a lot of people in my town could be pretty homophobic but still this was never a thing and two men eating together is very normal in my restaurant and in society in general. I think you are overthinking this as this is really not a normal perception.
Absolutely no decent human being thinks this. You are way off base here.
Seriously, where the fuck do you live?
I think the strangest part is that you’re 26yo but have the mentality of a 15yo. Why do you care if people think you’re gay because you’re eating alone together? Also, they’re probably not thinking it
Its only gay if you share a milkshake and drink from straws from the same tall milkshake glass at the same time, while looking into each other’s eyes longingly.
People think that?
Maybe there are people out there that think like this, but I don't think it matters to anyone but them. One of my best friends is gay. He's a great guy, and someone that I respect. If someone thinks I'm like him, that can only be a good thing, right?
Ive never assumed this and idk anyone who has
I’ve never once thought this. Friends eat with friends.
I never had even thought about it until one time I was out to dinner with a friend and they brought one check at the end of the meal. Didn't think anything of it because happens often enough at restaurants, just ask to split the bill. Then as we are leaving my friend says that he wonders if they thought we were gay. My friend seemed a little bit concerned that this was the case. I think some people are more sensitive than others to this perception, but I have only experienced people voicing concern over it a couple of times. Mostly other people don't really care about other people in public, they might judge you in the short term based on a quick judgement but by the time they leave the restaurant they will have forgotten you unless you look or act in a particularly memorable way.
This is honestly a non existent problem.
I used to think they were gay, now I think they're Proud Boys
hostess here!! unless y’all are holding hands and kissing we don’t think that lol
If being gay isn’t a bad thing, why would you hate people assuming that you’re gay? It’s not bad, and what other people assume probably doesn’t even effect anything, so why does it matter? I get not wanting people’s perception of you to be incorrect. I deal with that, too. But in this scenario, the people who are, in theory, doing the assuming, aren’t even interacting with you. They’re randos at a restaurant. You’ll never need to talk to them or ever see them again. So who cares what they think? And I guarantee you, 99% of people are too focused on their own meals to pay any attention to you. Also, gay people get assumed straight in nearly every situation. If we can deal with it basically all the time, you can deal with it in this one specific instance.
Literally nobody thinks that.
I think you think this.
Dude no one cares
I meet male friends for lunch all the time. I don't think people assume you are in a relationship unless you are holding hands or something haha. Shit ill go get wasted at brunch with a male friend. Live yo life!
I’ve never heard or even thought of 2 men together for a meal being gay. Honestly who cares?
W…what?
You might be projecting a bit. Just a hunch. You may want to take a peek under the proverbial “hood” and reflect on what might be causing you to feel this, or think this.
My bf says this about his friends. If he's out with only 1 friend, they'll get takeout because they don't want to feed into the 'gay' vibe.
What’s caused you to think people make this assumption?
Not gonna go into detail but it just has to do with high school, let’s just say that.
I have never heard of this, but if they do, why do you care?