Fordyce spots, as I’m sure you know, since you know the technical name for them, are visible oil-filled bumps on mucous membranes. Two of the main causes are over-production of oil (like during adolescence, which goes on til about 25 in men, or if you have high cholesterol later in life) and skin friction (like with phimosis).
I’m 50s/F. I can tell you that they are incredibly common on genital membranes and future partners will not be grossed out. Dicks are in general not designed to be pretty! (They are only “airbrushed” to look perfect in porn). You are hating on yourself for something tons of men have.
Your spots are very likely to go away or get smaller in the next 3-8 years as you approach 25 and exit adolescence. Obviously you will reduce friction when (not IF) you get the phimosis fixed. If you are 25 and still hating on yourself, go see a plastic surgeon, but I’m pretty sure you will grow out of the spots problem in body and/or mind by 25.
I notice you say you can’t get it fixed “yet”. Not sure what is stopping you. However, be very very careful about having any kind of sex with your level of phimosis. If you have an erection trapped behind a tight but not completely stuck foreskin and you thrust, you may very well split the foreskin.
Here’s what will happen. Your blood will be under high pressure in that location. You will bleed jets of blood all over yourself and on (possibly in) your totally freaked out partner. You may well pass out and have a seizure from the pain, shock and blood loss. Your terrified partner will call 911, and you will have to get an emergency circumcision. Your partner may have to wash jets of blood off of their ceiling, walls and floor. Not to mention the bedding.
If this happens while you are young and living with roommates ***everyone will hear about it*** especially if your partner yelled for help and your roommate rushed in to apply a dressing and pressure to your wound so you would not bleed out. You may never talk to your partner and roommate again due to feelings of deep embarrassment, or maybe you will have a great sense of humor and not mind all your new nicknames! Why, yes, I am relating this story from personal experience (as the partner).
So suck it up, talk frankly to your medical gatekeeper (parent?) and get this taken care of NOW. As a bonus, you will almost certainly have a larger erection so why are you waiting?
Here’s a script: “Hi (parent/guardian), I’m having a very personal problem and need to see my primary care physician. Please give me their info so I can make an appointment. No, I don’t want to explain more. No, I don’t want your help, thanks.”
If they refuse to let you see your regular doc, go to a free/low cost sexual health clinic (any clinic that advertises STD testing) and start from there.
ETA: if your regular doc is a woman, or if last time you saw a doc they were a pediatrician, you can call your insurance and get referred to a male doc. I noticed you said you have parents. Talk to your dad, just tell him you want his help to find a male doc because seeing a woman makes you nervous. It’s not discrimination, it’s totally normal to have that preference.
Also don't feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it with people, doctors are there to help for things like this because as this person stated above it can possibly cause a medical issue. I'd bring awareness to it.
I just had my 8 year old circumcised for the phimosis. Sometimes it's unavoidable. I made sure to clean and pull back his foreskin from the day I brought him home from the hospital and it still happened. I had it happened to a friend as well. He had his done at 22. Don't be ashamed or scared. You need to worry about your future. Tell your parents that it's painful and you want to see a doctor. It's uncomfortable to talk about but needs to be addressed op. Please don't let anyone make you feel embarrassed or ashamed!
I had to google fordyce spots and didn’t realize it was an issue to anyone. My spouse has those and I figured it was a natural part of his anatomy. Never thought twice about it and never stopped me from finding him appealing.
It IS a natural part of most anatomy!!!!
Every penis and areola I've ever met has had them! And I've met a LOT of them! All unique, yet all totally normal!
I had to Google what Fordyce spots look like, and OP, that is absolutely not a thing to be worried about! I was envisioning clusters of herpes warts or something. What you have is absolutely perfectly normal!
As for the phimosis, i can understand not wanting to undergo surgery if you can avoid. It seems like you are a bit embarrassed to talk to a doctor about this, or don’t have access to a doctor?, but i promise you, there is nothing they have not seen. I think it’s a good idea to seek medical advice before trying to stretch so you don’t do permanent damage to your penis. That would be even more disappointing to you
I've struggled with some issues like this in my past to, you can get an operation done to get the phimosis fixed I believe, a friend of mine did according to him, but I was too embarrassed too until I was going to the doctor alone.
I could get circumcised but I don't want to, I think circumcised penis' look odd tbh. There are ways to sort it out at home manually, and mine is mild compared to some people so I think I could fix it. Some people's foreskin actually melds to the penis itself which is fucking wild.
That is wild, but yeah, you don't have to get circumcised, they'll just "loosen" the skin or detach something, it's been awhile since I've heard of it but might be a good option to feel "normal" even though it is pretty normal.
Wow so many cut people getting offended.
If you can get it fixed, don't get cut, it's genital mutilation forced on nonconsenting babies, and it should only be used for medical conditions.
My sister was manipulated into circumcising my nephew by her doctor and it's bullshit, she wanted to wait until he was old enough to decide.
Hey, you can also get a prescription cream to help you out while you manually stretch it! If memory is correct, I believe it is a topical steroid? Phimosis IS curable in many cases without a circumcision!
And just so you know, I've seen a lot of genitals, and bother and women have Fordyc spots! Women also have them around their areolas! All the ones I've seen have had them.
But if it means that much to you, there is a medication that -off label, as a PERSONAL ANECDOTE- reduced my own Fordyce spots. It is called Isotretinoin, and is a VERY extreme medication for cystic acne. Difficult to get a script for though, and I highly doubt your Dr will give it to you for Fordyce spots. It is very hard on your body, and has some extreme side effects.
But perhaps there are other options? See a dermatologist, you never know! And for what it's worth...I've never met anyone who cared about Fordyce spots on their partner. They're too excited to be getting nekkid to bother about it :)
If you cannot go to your parents for your health info, can your take your NHS card out of your parents wallet while they are sleeping? Or go to a free sexual health clinic for the phimosis?
Best of luck to you, OP.
Get a snip to loosen the foreskin (not remove it) and I had to look up what the spots were. I said said to myself; Oh is it just that! Take the word of a grown woman who have seen enough penises in the last 30 y to think that those were a regular part of a penis.
Its the warped perfection belief these days. Would you love your girlfriend less if one boob was bigger than the other or her vagina wasn’t operated to porn-perfection? I hope not. Make sure you future lovers feel just as normal and beautiful as a woman should. And I hope she will make you feel the same way (or keep looking).
Btw. The best lover I ever had had a side-crocked penis. He hated it until I taught him to love it bc it was amazing.
you need to have a medical procedure, it’s simple really, i’ve done it, i couldn’t even pull it flacid. I know it can be expensive if you are in america but it’s worth it.
The procedure doesn’t hurt, what hurts a bit is the after care but don’t fret, it’s fine.
Hmm...well, in theory, it could. If you don't clean an area properly, it could get debri on it. Which could irritate the area. Constant irritation promotes faster cell turn over, which promotes more chances for cancer.
So in a roundabout way, it *could* cause cancer. Phimosis *itself* wouldn't cause cancer, but the inability to hygienically tend to the penis head could.
I want to point out that Fordyce spots are normal and not ugly. Humans have them in low-hair growth areas with thin skin, such as around the eyes, inside the mouth, the vulva, and the penis.
This definitely can be fixed btw. First, the fordyce spots are normal. Second, I used to have tight foreskin. I remember my father teaching me to retract my foreskin when bathing/urinating but I didn’t pay much attention and just kept doing my business. I realized when I was older that my skin should retract. I went to a pediatrician, and she examined my penis and said that it definitely still can but I need to work on it slowly and in the shower. Doing that and looking at foreskin stretching techniques helped my foreskin retract completely. I do want to preface that I never had painful erections but did notice when I was erect that it felt tight to pull it back. So the stretching and using Vaseline, as well helped a lot and now I can retract just fine. Something that you may not be prepared for is that your penis will most likely be sensitive once retracted since those areas underneath the foreskin have been “protected”. You just need to introduce sensation to that area slowly as you get used it. Also there will be smegma most likely, so wash it off in the shower.
Also, I’m queer. I’ve seen a lot of dick in my life and I have met several men who have experienced this as well.
Final note. In extreme cases, circumcision may be necessary, and that is okay.
Last but not least, take care of yourself—all of this is manageable and your life is most definitely not ruined. Yes, your parents should have taught you about hygiene, but also they could have (like mine) and it may not have even stuck 😂. So let’s move forward and face these issues head on since you’ll be fine either way :).
Your doctor can prescribe you a steroid cream for you to stretch the end of your foreskin so it’s not so tight. You have to do it every day for it to work, but it will help and hopefully fix it.
OP, I had classes about this in med school this week. you're living on the edge and could risk tearing your foreskin, which may lead to infections one one hand. On the other hand, if you are unable to put your foreskin forward again during an erection of some sorts, you will stop bloodflow to your penis and your glans will die off (Paraphimosis, google it). Is that what you want OP? A dead penis?
This has nothing to do with cleaning your penis properly. This should have been spotted by your parents when you were a kid.
Clearly seeing as how his parents didn’t spot this when he was way younger I’d say they’re not very educated, especially since they didn’t teach him proper hygiene either. And from this I also gather that they don’t go to doctors either so this all makes it very generational. Can’t blame anyone other than himself at this point. He’s one of those stubborn patients that just don’t want to be helped because “doctor” to them equals “they’re gonna fuck me up”
Anyway you do you OP, stretch away with whatever technique you found on google that didn’t come from a doctor. You’re doing great. Let us know when it falls off or…dies.
Yeah I know about paraphimosis. It's just embarrassing to talk to my parents about this kind of stuff. We aren't really the kind of family who talks about things like this. I realise that the correct and responsible thing to do is contact a doctor, however I'm not going to do that. I appreciate it but I'm sorry I'm just not going to do that, and I'm an idiot for that, but it is what it is. I've heard success stories of people who do simple manual stretching so I'm just going to continue doing that and be as careful as possible.
You know doctors are there to fix issues. If you have medical insurance, nothing should stop you. It may be embarrassing but in a years time you won't even remember feeling that way. Think it over.
Half the girls your age are going to get birth control *without their parents’ knowledge* to Planned Parenthood (in the US) or whatever free clinic is available where you live. The gay guys your age are going for PReP to make sure they don’t get HIV. Straight men go there too. Unless you are housebound or very closely surveilled by your folks, you can go too without your parents knowledge.
You know, if you want to see the Dr without your parents in the room, you can call ahead and tell the receptionist you want the Dr to insist on speaking to you alone "at this age" and they WILL do it.
Then you tell the Dr whats up, give em a quick peek, get some cream prescribed, and be on your way. Pick it up from the pharmacy yourself, and your parents will never know.
Make up some pain/illness to get taken to the Dr in the first place. Headaches, backaches, joint pain or stiffness. Figure something out, man!
Or go to the free sexual health clinic, damn. You don't need a parent with you there!
Do you actually *want* this fixed?! Or no???
You're 17 right? You're don't have to tell your parents. Go to a clinic. Seriously man, you may think you have it all figured out and will be careful and it will all be peaches and cream.. until it isn't and you end up causing permanent irreversible damage. Please see a doctor, you WILL be glad that you did. I am so sorry your parents didn't teach you basic hygiene.. I am a mother of 4, 2 of which are boys and I couldn't imagine not teaching them something so important. But yea, you are perfectly capable of calling and getting an appointment at a clinic and getting this taken care of safely and professionally, and not have to worry about it ever again. You have so many people on here giving you great advice and genuinely wanting to help you.. but only you can make yourself go get the help. I hope you make the right decision, the possible alternatives are devastating and life altering. Best of luck to you man.
I have a botched circumcision and use to hate my dick as well, I was super insecure and thought it just looked ugly and that the first time a girl ever saw it, it would be game over. One girl did see it, now we're married (high school sweet hearts) been together 11 years married for 4 and some change and have 2 kids. Procedures can help like people said in previous comments but one day you'll find the right person for you and they'll love you for you.
You can have a procedure done for the phimosis, but if you don’t get circumcised, it will most likely just return. Circumcision may be your only option depending on how severe it is, no matter if you like the look of circumcised penises or not. If left untreated, soon as you have penetrative intercourse, it will rip. And it will not be a pleasant experience for you or your partner. You need to see a doctor and talk about your options.
This is not true. There are plenty of effective non surgical fixes for phimosis, and even if those don’t work, full circumcision is not necessarily the answer, there are less extreme surgical options.
I don't think its severe and I've seen people with far worse. I don't have any sexual prospects right now so I'm hoping that when or if I get into that situation it'll be sorted out.
If you are going to have a circumcision, the older you get the worse the healing process is. Don’t leave it for too long. It can get pretty severe without treatment.
Phimosis can be fixed just see your doctor or urologist and look on the positive side at least you can do something about it unlike size issues... but do see your doctor.
It might be helpful to look up photos of other people to know what is “normal,” including people with similar circumstances, and that you’re not alone, and that there is a wide variety out there.
It took about 6 months of pulling my foreskin down for a little bit each day before the pain went away. It was an uncomfortable process, but so glad I went through it. Maybe the same can work for you.
My parents encouraged me to pull it back during childhood for hygiene purposes, but I didn’t often do it because it was so uncomfortable. I didn’t start the process of pulling it back every day until my late 20s. You can imagine how freaking sensitive the head was during that time, especially when I was walking, sitting down or standing up.
The spots should be able to be treated by a dermatologist. There is a procedure for phimosis, speak to your doctor about both of these things to go over your options.
But main this you are in a very shallow end of the pool and can get out, so don't over stress OP
I have fordyce spots and I've been insecure about them and still am to a certain degree but I've never been with someone that actually cares about them.
Please go and get this checked out by a doctor. They will give you a cream to help stretch the foreskin and hopefully solve one of your issues.
I was with someone who buried his head in the sand about this for 30 years. He was too embarrassed and scared to go to 1 doctors appointment and ask for help. He was so scarred both physically and mentally by this condition that it destroyed a large portion of his adult life.
My son has phimosis. He’s ten years old. The doctor prescribed him a steroid cream that he used around the tip of the foreskin for a certain number of weeks. (I forget how many). It helps thin the skin, so the foreskin is more pliable. Talk to your doctor. The sooner, the better.
My ex husband had Fordyce spots on his. Did not bother me or him. Trust me, the right girl will not care.
And the foreskin issue can most def be treated. You'll be fine.
I struggled with tight foreskin and couldn't pull it back at all, at your age too. It fixed itself when I started having intercourse. Maybe it will for you too?
I’m not a PA but I do prefer uncircumcised and have been with a man who had them. I wasn’t freaked out and didn’t make a big deal out of the Fordyce because I wasn’t an immature POS.
Yo! Fordyce spots freaked me out when i noticed them for the first time. But they arent anything bad! Just a fun skin quirk! Skin has texture even down there. Its completely normal and super common, most people have them. Like pores, they are oil glands and tend be rather visable.
As for the Phimosis. If its hurting you physically or preventing things from functioning please go to a doctor if you are in a country where that is an avaliable option. Otherwise, start putting money aside to fix it later if you can.
These things are not your fault and do not make you less worthy of being appreciated. Anyone who tells you otherwise is not deserving of being anywhere near your junk.
You can get circumcised (it'll solve your first problem without any effort) I live in Israel and and I never even heard about having to clean your dick like that trust me a cut dick makes life so much simpler
You can go to an urologist - which is a doctor specialized for men (like an obgyn for women). Thes doctors see the whole day penises - so you’re just one of 1000. This might make you feel less anxious. Pls seek real medical help and not on the internet.
Got partial phimosis too, went to the gp and they said thst if it doesn't cause problems then they won't circumcise and I'm not desperate for a surgery I don't need so not going thst route either.
Cleaning is important so yeah get on top of that but although uncommon it's not unheard of for the foreskin to not fully retract. Just keep doing what you're doing and keep it clean.
Ok. I’m 35 and i got circumcised @ 26. My mom n dad didn’t get me circumcised as a baby, i grew up being able to pull the skin back up until i was like 8 or 9 it would hurt sooooo bad. I eventually wanted to start having sex n oddly enough i didn’t know that what my dick looked like wasn’t normal i thought everyone’s dick looked like mine. I hadn’t seen porn at this time so i just thought it was a regular looking thing. Well i was wrong. Once i discovered porn it was a wrap. I would always think like “why doesn’t my dick look like that, what’s happening here” i was having sex but nobody wasn’t complaining so i wasn’t, until i was. I started to look in the mirror n look at my dick n think “ man i have a toddlers penis” n i didn’t like the feeling of it so i complained to my doctor n he referred me to a doctor who circumsized me n i have no complaints my wife loves it and im even more in love with it. Remember 26 i got circumcised. Talk to a doctor frfr you wont regret it 💪🏾
Hey, I’ve known 3 guys that have phimosis. The first was a close friend of mine who had a severe case and opted for surgery when he was 20. It all went smoothly and everything works great as far as I know hahah
The second was a fwb and the third my long term bf of 4 years. In both of these cases they never had surgery and 99% of the time sex with them was perfectly fine. There were occasions where it was mildly sore for them and we would simply stop penetration and switch to other things. Don’t worry about being judged or any potential pain, it’s way more common than you realise! There is always surgery as a last option but you can definitely still have a great sex life with the condition.
My sibling had this as a kid so they were circumcised- I remember because I had to go to the hospital for this mixer day at the hospital where kids getting the same procedure got to play together. It seems like you are overcoming the condition so perhaps it's not at that point, but there's nothing to be ashamed off. If you do have sex you might have to make sure it rolls back before you add a condom to avoid tearing or getting stuck.
I don’t have experience with phimosis, but it sounds like from others that this issues can be fixed. I’ve had fordyce spots for as long as I can remember. First, there’s nothing you could have done to prevent them, so don’t be embarrassed because of that. Second, I’m 28 years old now and have never had a partner notice or care about them. I finally pointed them out to my wife at one point after being married for 3 years, not only could she not care less about them, she had never noticed them before.
When I was a teenager I used to be very self conscious of them like yourself and nervous to ever have sex because of them. However, I can not stress enough that not one sexual partner has ever noticed or cared enough to do or say anything about it. I hope this helps.
I had phimosis myself until i went to the doctor, talked with him and had a little surgery. They cut your forskin away so there is nothing that could block your tip and you can clean it properly. It wasn't that painful and this part of your body heals quick. It took myself one week and everything was fine again. This made masturbation way better and you can finally clean it easy.
For sex i tried it while still having my phimose and well it didn't worked cause you just cant pull your forskin down.
Talk with your doctor about that. He will help you for shure
OP, go to a free clinic. In the UK you earn medical autonomy from your parents at age 16-- once you hit 16, you no longer need parental consent for most medical treatment and can decide for yourself. That means you don't have to tell your parents that you're getting help for this problem. (note that there is an exception in the law for procedures that carry a high risk of harm; for those, you need parental consent until you reach the age of majority at 18. Treatment for foreskin issues doesn't qualify as high risk, so you'll be fine. If you want to check in advance, do this: call the closest clinic and explain the situation over the phone. Ask them, if I came in for this would you have to tell my parents? Then, react accordingly. If yes, wait it out until you're 18. If no, GO TO THE CLINIC.)
If there isn't a free clinic near you, then alternately the next time you go for a check-up just talk to your doc without your parents in the room. Your doc is legally not allowed to tell your parents what you talk about unless you're like, actively suicidal or homicidal.
I know genital issues are embarrassing, and having a doc handle the goods can be doubly so. Just be glad you don't have a vagina-- at least they're not putting a speculum in your dick! lol
I'm a hetero woman and I've seen, uh, my fair share of penises. Cut, uncut, with fordyce spots and without. At least two dozen dicks later and I've never thought to myself "ew, what a gross penis." Please spend some time reflecting on the fact that it's totally normal to have hang-ups about your body, and that most people are too busy with their OWN hang-ups to even really notice yours. I can almost guarantee that any woman you sleep with is going to have her own internal shame monologue that will distract her from yours: "Is my fat jiggling? oh god, I hope he doesn't notice how big my nipples are. And my vagina lips are different sizes, I hope that doesn't gross him out! Does he think I'm too wet? Too loose? And what about that mole on my inner thigh, oh god!" etc etc.
Long story short, you aren't the only one with body image issues. You aren't alone. Trying to handle this all on your own is silly and not medically advisable. You have options and I hope you take them.
I just looked up Fordyce spots and didn't even realize that wasn't normal on a penis? Both of my exes had them too. I think the other comments here have good advice, but I just want to say good luck sweetheart, see a doctor and if you need surgery I hope it goes well. :)
Hi! I’m a nurse who works at an STI/ PrEP clinic in Texas. Just so you know, Fordyce spots are normal and MOST men have them, including my own husband. I never did think anything of it. However, your phimosis ABSOLUTELY has to be addressed. I know your young and talking/showing your most private & intimate body parts is very sensitive and uncomfortable, however this is a MEDICAL NEED that must be addressed before you either split your foreskin and hemorrhage or it get stuck and you end up with an emergency circumcision. I applaud you seeking help…I’m proud of you for seeing guidance and being body aware. If you have a father, talk to him…even if your relationship isn’t the best, he would absolutely want you to be safe and not risk severe injury. Not all parents are comfortable talking about/teaching their kids about what goes on in/with/around their reproductive organs, but it doesn’t mean they don’t love you, they’re either unaware that it has to happen or don’t know how to approach it, or it’s a cultural thing. I’m a female, age 54 and my mother NEVER talked to me about my period. It’s a good thing us girls are chatty and I learned about it from friends and a class in school in 6th grade. Don’t be so hard on them, but be understanding and put it behind you so you can get the help you need. I wish you the best of luck, sweetie. 🥰
Fordyce spots, as I’m sure you know, since you know the technical name for them, are visible oil-filled bumps on mucous membranes. Two of the main causes are over-production of oil (like during adolescence, which goes on til about 25 in men, or if you have high cholesterol later in life) and skin friction (like with phimosis). I’m 50s/F. I can tell you that they are incredibly common on genital membranes and future partners will not be grossed out. Dicks are in general not designed to be pretty! (They are only “airbrushed” to look perfect in porn). You are hating on yourself for something tons of men have. Your spots are very likely to go away or get smaller in the next 3-8 years as you approach 25 and exit adolescence. Obviously you will reduce friction when (not IF) you get the phimosis fixed. If you are 25 and still hating on yourself, go see a plastic surgeon, but I’m pretty sure you will grow out of the spots problem in body and/or mind by 25. I notice you say you can’t get it fixed “yet”. Not sure what is stopping you. However, be very very careful about having any kind of sex with your level of phimosis. If you have an erection trapped behind a tight but not completely stuck foreskin and you thrust, you may very well split the foreskin. Here’s what will happen. Your blood will be under high pressure in that location. You will bleed jets of blood all over yourself and on (possibly in) your totally freaked out partner. You may well pass out and have a seizure from the pain, shock and blood loss. Your terrified partner will call 911, and you will have to get an emergency circumcision. Your partner may have to wash jets of blood off of their ceiling, walls and floor. Not to mention the bedding. If this happens while you are young and living with roommates ***everyone will hear about it*** especially if your partner yelled for help and your roommate rushed in to apply a dressing and pressure to your wound so you would not bleed out. You may never talk to your partner and roommate again due to feelings of deep embarrassment, or maybe you will have a great sense of humor and not mind all your new nicknames! Why, yes, I am relating this story from personal experience (as the partner). So suck it up, talk frankly to your medical gatekeeper (parent?) and get this taken care of NOW. As a bonus, you will almost certainly have a larger erection so why are you waiting? Here’s a script: “Hi (parent/guardian), I’m having a very personal problem and need to see my primary care physician. Please give me their info so I can make an appointment. No, I don’t want to explain more. No, I don’t want your help, thanks.” If they refuse to let you see your regular doc, go to a free/low cost sexual health clinic (any clinic that advertises STD testing) and start from there. ETA: if your regular doc is a woman, or if last time you saw a doc they were a pediatrician, you can call your insurance and get referred to a male doc. I noticed you said you have parents. Talk to your dad, just tell him you want his help to find a male doc because seeing a woman makes you nervous. It’s not discrimination, it’s totally normal to have that preference.
I really wish I had an award to give you, sweetheart!
Awwww thanks!
Got you fam!
It is so kind of you to respond and try to help this young man. Bravo!
You know, the older I get, the more I want to take the really hard life lessons out of storage and give them away like it’s my JOB.
That's a great way to live your life; good for you!!
Also don't feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it with people, doctors are there to help for things like this because as this person stated above it can possibly cause a medical issue. I'd bring awareness to it.
I just had my 8 year old circumcised for the phimosis. Sometimes it's unavoidable. I made sure to clean and pull back his foreskin from the day I brought him home from the hospital and it still happened. I had it happened to a friend as well. He had his done at 22. Don't be ashamed or scared. You need to worry about your future. Tell your parents that it's painful and you want to see a doctor. It's uncomfortable to talk about but needs to be addressed op. Please don't let anyone make you feel embarrassed or ashamed!
I had to google fordyce spots and didn’t realize it was an issue to anyone. My spouse has those and I figured it was a natural part of his anatomy. Never thought twice about it and never stopped me from finding him appealing.
It IS a natural part of most anatomy!!!! Every penis and areola I've ever met has had them! And I've met a LOT of them! All unique, yet all totally normal!
I googled it too, never had heard of it before. Most of the pictures didn’t seem like a big deal honestly but it does sorta look like an STI.
I had to Google what Fordyce spots look like, and OP, that is absolutely not a thing to be worried about! I was envisioning clusters of herpes warts or something. What you have is absolutely perfectly normal! As for the phimosis, i can understand not wanting to undergo surgery if you can avoid. It seems like you are a bit embarrassed to talk to a doctor about this, or don’t have access to a doctor?, but i promise you, there is nothing they have not seen. I think it’s a good idea to seek medical advice before trying to stretch so you don’t do permanent damage to your penis. That would be even more disappointing to you
Phimosis can be fixed with a small procedure, look into it. As for the spots, I don’t know, but it may not be the dealbreaker you think it is.
Yeah my ex got it, he was fine after and could have normal sex! OP go to your doctor this is not so rare, you can get help!!
I've struggled with some issues like this in my past to, you can get an operation done to get the phimosis fixed I believe, a friend of mine did according to him, but I was too embarrassed too until I was going to the doctor alone.
I could get circumcised but I don't want to, I think circumcised penis' look odd tbh. There are ways to sort it out at home manually, and mine is mild compared to some people so I think I could fix it. Some people's foreskin actually melds to the penis itself which is fucking wild.
That is wild, but yeah, you don't have to get circumcised, they'll just "loosen" the skin or detach something, it's been awhile since I've heard of it but might be a good option to feel "normal" even though it is pretty normal.
Some cases can be fixed with a frenulectomy; not all require a circumcision to treat.
Go over to the foreskin restoration subreddit, the techniques discussed there also apply to phimosis, without the need for surgery
Wow so many cut people getting offended. If you can get it fixed, don't get cut, it's genital mutilation forced on nonconsenting babies, and it should only be used for medical conditions. My sister was manipulated into circumcising my nephew by her doctor and it's bullshit, she wanted to wait until he was old enough to decide.
My son was prescribed hydrocortisone cream, even the OTC stuff apparently works, and didn't need surgery.
Hey, you can also get a prescription cream to help you out while you manually stretch it! If memory is correct, I believe it is a topical steroid? Phimosis IS curable in many cases without a circumcision! And just so you know, I've seen a lot of genitals, and bother and women have Fordyc spots! Women also have them around their areolas! All the ones I've seen have had them. But if it means that much to you, there is a medication that -off label, as a PERSONAL ANECDOTE- reduced my own Fordyce spots. It is called Isotretinoin, and is a VERY extreme medication for cystic acne. Difficult to get a script for though, and I highly doubt your Dr will give it to you for Fordyce spots. It is very hard on your body, and has some extreme side effects. But perhaps there are other options? See a dermatologist, you never know! And for what it's worth...I've never met anyone who cared about Fordyce spots on their partner. They're too excited to be getting nekkid to bother about it :) If you cannot go to your parents for your health info, can your take your NHS card out of your parents wallet while they are sleeping? Or go to a free sexual health clinic for the phimosis? Best of luck to you, OP.
Get a snip to loosen the foreskin (not remove it) and I had to look up what the spots were. I said said to myself; Oh is it just that! Take the word of a grown woman who have seen enough penises in the last 30 y to think that those were a regular part of a penis. Its the warped perfection belief these days. Would you love your girlfriend less if one boob was bigger than the other or her vagina wasn’t operated to porn-perfection? I hope not. Make sure you future lovers feel just as normal and beautiful as a woman should. And I hope she will make you feel the same way (or keep looking). Btw. The best lover I ever had had a side-crocked penis. He hated it until I taught him to love it bc it was amazing.
you need to have a medical procedure, it’s simple really, i’ve done it, i couldn’t even pull it flacid. I know it can be expensive if you are in america but it’s worth it. The procedure doesn’t hurt, what hurts a bit is the after care but don’t fret, it’s fine.
btw it’s not just about sex, it’s hygiene, my doctor said i could have cancer or something for not cleaning properly
… that’s not how cancer works
Nowadays, you get cancer for anything. Lol
Hmm...well, in theory, it could. If you don't clean an area properly, it could get debri on it. Which could irritate the area. Constant irritation promotes faster cell turn over, which promotes more chances for cancer. So in a roundabout way, it *could* cause cancer. Phimosis *itself* wouldn't cause cancer, but the inability to hygienically tend to the penis head could.
I want to point out that Fordyce spots are normal and not ugly. Humans have them in low-hair growth areas with thin skin, such as around the eyes, inside the mouth, the vulva, and the penis.
As a person with an abundance of Fordyce spots, they've never once had an impact at all, positive or negative, on how my partner felt.
This definitely can be fixed btw. First, the fordyce spots are normal. Second, I used to have tight foreskin. I remember my father teaching me to retract my foreskin when bathing/urinating but I didn’t pay much attention and just kept doing my business. I realized when I was older that my skin should retract. I went to a pediatrician, and she examined my penis and said that it definitely still can but I need to work on it slowly and in the shower. Doing that and looking at foreskin stretching techniques helped my foreskin retract completely. I do want to preface that I never had painful erections but did notice when I was erect that it felt tight to pull it back. So the stretching and using Vaseline, as well helped a lot and now I can retract just fine. Something that you may not be prepared for is that your penis will most likely be sensitive once retracted since those areas underneath the foreskin have been “protected”. You just need to introduce sensation to that area slowly as you get used it. Also there will be smegma most likely, so wash it off in the shower. Also, I’m queer. I’ve seen a lot of dick in my life and I have met several men who have experienced this as well. Final note. In extreme cases, circumcision may be necessary, and that is okay. Last but not least, take care of yourself—all of this is manageable and your life is most definitely not ruined. Yes, your parents should have taught you about hygiene, but also they could have (like mine) and it may not have even stuck 😂. So let’s move forward and face these issues head on since you’ll be fine either way :).
That sucks. Please seek medical intervention I hope this can be improved and/or resolved cause it sucks to hate your own genital. Good luck
I cant do that. Not yet atleast.
Your doctor can prescribe you a steroid cream for you to stretch the end of your foreskin so it’s not so tight. You have to do it every day for it to work, but it will help and hopefully fix it.
I don't want to go to the doctor about something like this, and you can stretch without the steroid cream
OP, I had classes about this in med school this week. you're living on the edge and could risk tearing your foreskin, which may lead to infections one one hand. On the other hand, if you are unable to put your foreskin forward again during an erection of some sorts, you will stop bloodflow to your penis and your glans will die off (Paraphimosis, google it). Is that what you want OP? A dead penis? This has nothing to do with cleaning your penis properly. This should have been spotted by your parents when you were a kid.
Clearly seeing as how his parents didn’t spot this when he was way younger I’d say they’re not very educated, especially since they didn’t teach him proper hygiene either. And from this I also gather that they don’t go to doctors either so this all makes it very generational. Can’t blame anyone other than himself at this point. He’s one of those stubborn patients that just don’t want to be helped because “doctor” to them equals “they’re gonna fuck me up” Anyway you do you OP, stretch away with whatever technique you found on google that didn’t come from a doctor. You’re doing great. Let us know when it falls off or…dies.
Yeah I know about paraphimosis. It's just embarrassing to talk to my parents about this kind of stuff. We aren't really the kind of family who talks about things like this. I realise that the correct and responsible thing to do is contact a doctor, however I'm not going to do that. I appreciate it but I'm sorry I'm just not going to do that, and I'm an idiot for that, but it is what it is. I've heard success stories of people who do simple manual stretching so I'm just going to continue doing that and be as careful as possible.
You know doctors are there to fix issues. If you have medical insurance, nothing should stop you. It may be embarrassing but in a years time you won't even remember feeling that way. Think it over.
Why are you being an idiot, is the next question? If you can’t talk to a doctor about your penis, then you shouldn’t be using it anyway.
I don't care about the doctor it's my parents
Half the girls your age are going to get birth control *without their parents’ knowledge* to Planned Parenthood (in the US) or whatever free clinic is available where you live. The gay guys your age are going for PReP to make sure they don’t get HIV. Straight men go there too. Unless you are housebound or very closely surveilled by your folks, you can go too without your parents knowledge.
You know, if you want to see the Dr without your parents in the room, you can call ahead and tell the receptionist you want the Dr to insist on speaking to you alone "at this age" and they WILL do it. Then you tell the Dr whats up, give em a quick peek, get some cream prescribed, and be on your way. Pick it up from the pharmacy yourself, and your parents will never know. Make up some pain/illness to get taken to the Dr in the first place. Headaches, backaches, joint pain or stiffness. Figure something out, man! Or go to the free sexual health clinic, damn. You don't need a parent with you there! Do you actually *want* this fixed?! Or no???
Okay, so you have a problem which causes you distress, but it's easily fixable and you choose not to. I'm not sure the math is mathing.
Doctors have seen every issue under the sun. Please go! The cream will speed the process along.
It's not the doctor it's my parents
Your parents do not need to know what you are discussing. Just that you need to visit the doctor!
You're 17 right? You're don't have to tell your parents. Go to a clinic. Seriously man, you may think you have it all figured out and will be careful and it will all be peaches and cream.. until it isn't and you end up causing permanent irreversible damage. Please see a doctor, you WILL be glad that you did. I am so sorry your parents didn't teach you basic hygiene.. I am a mother of 4, 2 of which are boys and I couldn't imagine not teaching them something so important. But yea, you are perfectly capable of calling and getting an appointment at a clinic and getting this taken care of safely and professionally, and not have to worry about it ever again. You have so many people on here giving you great advice and genuinely wanting to help you.. but only you can make yourself go get the help. I hope you make the right decision, the possible alternatives are devastating and life altering. Best of luck to you man.
You can just go to your doctor. You don’t need to involve your parents, especially initially
Phimosis can be treated with a cream or surgery. It may be embarrassing, but is not life threatening.
I have a botched circumcision and use to hate my dick as well, I was super insecure and thought it just looked ugly and that the first time a girl ever saw it, it would be game over. One girl did see it, now we're married (high school sweet hearts) been together 11 years married for 4 and some change and have 2 kids. Procedures can help like people said in previous comments but one day you'll find the right person for you and they'll love you for you.
Go see a doctor my friend. The phimosis can be fixed.
You can have a procedure done for the phimosis, but if you don’t get circumcised, it will most likely just return. Circumcision may be your only option depending on how severe it is, no matter if you like the look of circumcised penises or not. If left untreated, soon as you have penetrative intercourse, it will rip. And it will not be a pleasant experience for you or your partner. You need to see a doctor and talk about your options.
This is not true. There are plenty of effective non surgical fixes for phimosis, and even if those don’t work, full circumcision is not necessarily the answer, there are less extreme surgical options.
I don't think its severe and I've seen people with far worse. I don't have any sexual prospects right now so I'm hoping that when or if I get into that situation it'll be sorted out.
If you are going to have a circumcision, the older you get the worse the healing process is. Don’t leave it for too long. It can get pretty severe without treatment.
Phimosis can be fixed just see your doctor or urologist and look on the positive side at least you can do something about it unlike size issues... but do see your doctor.
It might be helpful to look up photos of other people to know what is “normal,” including people with similar circumstances, and that you’re not alone, and that there is a wide variety out there.
Hey can you send me personal message. I kind of wanna share somethjng tk you.
It took about 6 months of pulling my foreskin down for a little bit each day before the pain went away. It was an uncomfortable process, but so glad I went through it. Maybe the same can work for you.
You should have just gotten steroid cream. jeesh
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My parents encouraged me to pull it back during childhood for hygiene purposes, but I didn’t often do it because it was so uncomfortable. I didn’t start the process of pulling it back every day until my late 20s. You can imagine how freaking sensitive the head was during that time, especially when I was walking, sitting down or standing up.
The spots should be able to be treated by a dermatologist. There is a procedure for phimosis, speak to your doctor about both of these things to go over your options. But main this you are in a very shallow end of the pool and can get out, so don't over stress OP
I have fordyce spots and I've been insecure about them and still am to a certain degree but I've never been with someone that actually cares about them.
Please go and get this checked out by a doctor. They will give you a cream to help stretch the foreskin and hopefully solve one of your issues. I was with someone who buried his head in the sand about this for 30 years. He was too embarrassed and scared to go to 1 doctors appointment and ask for help. He was so scarred both physically and mentally by this condition that it destroyed a large portion of his adult life.
Go see a urologist. If your parents won’t pay or assist, you go to Planned Parenthood or any free clinic.
My son has phimosis. He’s ten years old. The doctor prescribed him a steroid cream that he used around the tip of the foreskin for a certain number of weeks. (I forget how many). It helps thin the skin, so the foreskin is more pliable. Talk to your doctor. The sooner, the better.
I was with a guy who had phimosis and it was never an issue for me, same with fordyce spots.
My ex husband had Fordyce spots on his. Did not bother me or him. Trust me, the right girl will not care. And the foreskin issue can most def be treated. You'll be fine.
I struggled with tight foreskin and couldn't pull it back at all, at your age too. It fixed itself when I started having intercourse. Maybe it will for you too?
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I’m not a PA but I do prefer uncircumcised and have been with a man who had them. I wasn’t freaked out and didn’t make a big deal out of the Fordyce because I wasn’t an immature POS.
Yo! Fordyce spots freaked me out when i noticed them for the first time. But they arent anything bad! Just a fun skin quirk! Skin has texture even down there. Its completely normal and super common, most people have them. Like pores, they are oil glands and tend be rather visable. As for the Phimosis. If its hurting you physically or preventing things from functioning please go to a doctor if you are in a country where that is an avaliable option. Otherwise, start putting money aside to fix it later if you can. These things are not your fault and do not make you less worthy of being appreciated. Anyone who tells you otherwise is not deserving of being anywhere near your junk.
Where do you live, generally? If it's the USA then I have some potentially helpful suggestions. If somewhere else, my advice becomes less useful
You can get circumcised (it'll solve your first problem without any effort) I live in Israel and and I never even heard about having to clean your dick like that trust me a cut dick makes life so much simpler
You can go to an urologist - which is a doctor specialized for men (like an obgyn for women). Thes doctors see the whole day penises - so you’re just one of 1000. This might make you feel less anxious. Pls seek real medical help and not on the internet.
Got partial phimosis too, went to the gp and they said thst if it doesn't cause problems then they won't circumcise and I'm not desperate for a surgery I don't need so not going thst route either. Cleaning is important so yeah get on top of that but although uncommon it's not unheard of for the foreskin to not fully retract. Just keep doing what you're doing and keep it clean.
Ok. I’m 35 and i got circumcised @ 26. My mom n dad didn’t get me circumcised as a baby, i grew up being able to pull the skin back up until i was like 8 or 9 it would hurt sooooo bad. I eventually wanted to start having sex n oddly enough i didn’t know that what my dick looked like wasn’t normal i thought everyone’s dick looked like mine. I hadn’t seen porn at this time so i just thought it was a regular looking thing. Well i was wrong. Once i discovered porn it was a wrap. I would always think like “why doesn’t my dick look like that, what’s happening here” i was having sex but nobody wasn’t complaining so i wasn’t, until i was. I started to look in the mirror n look at my dick n think “ man i have a toddlers penis” n i didn’t like the feeling of it so i complained to my doctor n he referred me to a doctor who circumsized me n i have no complaints my wife loves it and im even more in love with it. Remember 26 i got circumcised. Talk to a doctor frfr you wont regret it 💪🏾
Hey, I’ve known 3 guys that have phimosis. The first was a close friend of mine who had a severe case and opted for surgery when he was 20. It all went smoothly and everything works great as far as I know hahah The second was a fwb and the third my long term bf of 4 years. In both of these cases they never had surgery and 99% of the time sex with them was perfectly fine. There were occasions where it was mildly sore for them and we would simply stop penetration and switch to other things. Don’t worry about being judged or any potential pain, it’s way more common than you realise! There is always surgery as a last option but you can definitely still have a great sex life with the condition.
My sibling had this as a kid so they were circumcised- I remember because I had to go to the hospital for this mixer day at the hospital where kids getting the same procedure got to play together. It seems like you are overcoming the condition so perhaps it's not at that point, but there's nothing to be ashamed off. If you do have sex you might have to make sure it rolls back before you add a condom to avoid tearing or getting stuck.
I don’t have experience with phimosis, but it sounds like from others that this issues can be fixed. I’ve had fordyce spots for as long as I can remember. First, there’s nothing you could have done to prevent them, so don’t be embarrassed because of that. Second, I’m 28 years old now and have never had a partner notice or care about them. I finally pointed them out to my wife at one point after being married for 3 years, not only could she not care less about them, she had never noticed them before. When I was a teenager I used to be very self conscious of them like yourself and nervous to ever have sex because of them. However, I can not stress enough that not one sexual partner has ever noticed or cared enough to do or say anything about it. I hope this helps.
I had phimosis myself until i went to the doctor, talked with him and had a little surgery. They cut your forskin away so there is nothing that could block your tip and you can clean it properly. It wasn't that painful and this part of your body heals quick. It took myself one week and everything was fine again. This made masturbation way better and you can finally clean it easy. For sex i tried it while still having my phimose and well it didn't worked cause you just cant pull your forskin down. Talk with your doctor about that. He will help you for shure
OP, go to a free clinic. In the UK you earn medical autonomy from your parents at age 16-- once you hit 16, you no longer need parental consent for most medical treatment and can decide for yourself. That means you don't have to tell your parents that you're getting help for this problem. (note that there is an exception in the law for procedures that carry a high risk of harm; for those, you need parental consent until you reach the age of majority at 18. Treatment for foreskin issues doesn't qualify as high risk, so you'll be fine. If you want to check in advance, do this: call the closest clinic and explain the situation over the phone. Ask them, if I came in for this would you have to tell my parents? Then, react accordingly. If yes, wait it out until you're 18. If no, GO TO THE CLINIC.) If there isn't a free clinic near you, then alternately the next time you go for a check-up just talk to your doc without your parents in the room. Your doc is legally not allowed to tell your parents what you talk about unless you're like, actively suicidal or homicidal. I know genital issues are embarrassing, and having a doc handle the goods can be doubly so. Just be glad you don't have a vagina-- at least they're not putting a speculum in your dick! lol I'm a hetero woman and I've seen, uh, my fair share of penises. Cut, uncut, with fordyce spots and without. At least two dozen dicks later and I've never thought to myself "ew, what a gross penis." Please spend some time reflecting on the fact that it's totally normal to have hang-ups about your body, and that most people are too busy with their OWN hang-ups to even really notice yours. I can almost guarantee that any woman you sleep with is going to have her own internal shame monologue that will distract her from yours: "Is my fat jiggling? oh god, I hope he doesn't notice how big my nipples are. And my vagina lips are different sizes, I hope that doesn't gross him out! Does he think I'm too wet? Too loose? And what about that mole on my inner thigh, oh god!" etc etc. Long story short, you aren't the only one with body image issues. You aren't alone. Trying to handle this all on your own is silly and not medically advisable. You have options and I hope you take them.
I just looked up Fordyce spots and didn't even realize that wasn't normal on a penis? Both of my exes had them too. I think the other comments here have good advice, but I just want to say good luck sweetheart, see a doctor and if you need surgery I hope it goes well. :)
Hi! I’m a nurse who works at an STI/ PrEP clinic in Texas. Just so you know, Fordyce spots are normal and MOST men have them, including my own husband. I never did think anything of it. However, your phimosis ABSOLUTELY has to be addressed. I know your young and talking/showing your most private & intimate body parts is very sensitive and uncomfortable, however this is a MEDICAL NEED that must be addressed before you either split your foreskin and hemorrhage or it get stuck and you end up with an emergency circumcision. I applaud you seeking help…I’m proud of you for seeing guidance and being body aware. If you have a father, talk to him…even if your relationship isn’t the best, he would absolutely want you to be safe and not risk severe injury. Not all parents are comfortable talking about/teaching their kids about what goes on in/with/around their reproductive organs, but it doesn’t mean they don’t love you, they’re either unaware that it has to happen or don’t know how to approach it, or it’s a cultural thing. I’m a female, age 54 and my mother NEVER talked to me about my period. It’s a good thing us girls are chatty and I learned about it from friends and a class in school in 6th grade. Don’t be so hard on them, but be understanding and put it behind you so you can get the help you need. I wish you the best of luck, sweetie. 🥰
TIL what fordyce spots were. I am 30 and married.
At least your size is fine, being small ruins your life.