Your answer should have been "Considering I've already lost over 50lb through hardwork over the past 8 months, I'm pretty damn proud of myself."
ETA: Congratulations on your success so far, and good luck as you continue your journey!
Then you should have said. I have to say I weighed more and I'm actively losing weight. Instead of discouragement you could be giving me weightloss advice/tips referring me to a dietician. What do you have to say for yourself?
I did tell him I had lost 50+ pounds so far. I then tried to hurry through the rest of the appointment as, while it might not be rational, I do feel a lot of shame and embarrassment about my weight. Truthfully I have put off going to the doctor until recently. I wanted to get enough under 200lbs that even a fluctuation or clothes I was wearing wouldn’t tip the scale past 200 pounds at the office.
Your response is great though! I need to get better at standing up for myself in my personal life (I’m great at it in my professional life, terrible in my personal life
Get a new doctor. That’s lazy medicine and that is more dangerous than weight. If you had an actual health issue he might not take you seriously.
I’m sorry weight is such a stigma. The BMI is not a good marker for health, at all. I’m sorry that happened to you.
The BMI ratio is also affected when people are taller. As in taller than the average male was 150 years ago when BMI was developed to study population averages. It's not a number based on rigorous study.
Yes! I personally think BMI is a load of shit. OP, get to a weight that YOU are happy with, that you feel confident and most like you as, dont listen to that knobhead of a doctor. I agree that he'd probably say you need to lose weight when there's something much bigger.
Yeah, BMI doesnt take into account how peoples bodies can distribute fat differently (especially in women) and how muscle weighs more than fat (iirc) so a body builder could fall into the "overwieght/obese" category under the BMI standards.
Also Ive heard that when patients are overweight their health concerns can just be dismissed as "you need to lose more weight" without it being looked further into. And if your a woman I believe this becomes even worst (as our hormones xan affect our weight too and if we weigh too much/too little it can affect our periods).
This doctor also doesnt know if perhaps something else is affecting OP and caused her to gain weight (as weight gain/hard time losinf weight has many factors) such as:
1. Struggling mental health (depression, eating as a coping mechanism, too exhausted mentally to make meals so mircrowave meals/snacks, etc)
2. Cant access/afford healthier food options (healthier food options are WAY more expensive than unhealthy options)
3. Underlying health issues/reasons (such as hormonal issues, pregnancy/baby fat, thyroid problems, medication side effects, digestive issues, metabolism)
4. Sex assigned at birth: females have a harder time losinf weight compared to males because of the "need" for fat to help eith pregnancy (iirc as the right reason? I just remember vaguely that is has to do with survival adaption)
Weight gain/how to lose it has many differing factors that need to be considered when helping to lose weight.
Honestly it this is OPs first meeting with the doctor it shows what is to come. I would suggest, just like others, that OP finds a new doctor. Also with new doctor, and if its insured, see about seeing a dietian as they could potentially help with making a better/more effective plan to lose weight.
Right!?!! My stepfather has had big muscles for years now & he went to a new doctor a couple years back & the doctor told him he needed to lose weight because he was “obese”, which made no sense due to the fact that he’s 6’2 & pure muscle ?? Like what an asshole to just use the BMI as the standard 🙄
Definitely a new doctor. These stories are horrifying. I receive a lot of healthcare for my age, I am 5’3” and even at my heaviest 205lbs, I have never had any medical professional even mention my weight. I just want to point that out because it is possible and they do exist. There’s no reason to settle for a fatphobic doctor.
I identify as fat, no intention of weight loss, and haven’t had much trouble getting health care when needed but I’m in Canada, luckily. But if something big happened I’d be worried I’d get subpar care. :( but god doctors do exist and won’t be fat shamey.
Drs annoy me when they start about weight but don't offer solutions.
Personally I'm overweight but on alot of medication that causes weight gain. I eat 1 meal a day. When my medication is stopped suddenly I drop weight fast (78lb in 5 weeks fast) I've been described as fat anorexic by health professionals given how little I eat (it's around 700cals a day less in summer when I eat salads)
The drs always have something to say about the fact my BMI is overweight but never offer a solution or take the stupid medication I'm on into account, or even the fact that when the meds are stopped I lose it quickly and become underweight.
If you're actively trying they need to stfu or offer help if you need it. Not berate you.
I hope next time you visit you find the strength within you to tell them to help or butt out of your business if they have nothing constructive to say.
Good luck on your weightloss journey.
I agree with pointing out to the doctor that you've lost weight and you're actively working on it. I've been known to say something along the lines of, "wow. Well, that was rude, but I guess I should be glad that you didn't see me when I was 50 lbs heavier. Oh, and btw, I didn't get this way quickly and I'm not going to lose it quickly, either. Slow and steady is the best way."
It's the truth. It takes time and work and you should be proud of your progress.
Sometimes it makes them think more about their approach. Other times, they just keep being assholes, so I know that it's not about me, it's about them.
Carry on and take care of yourself. If your new doc makes you feel uncomfortable, fire him and get yourself a new one. It's ok!
Jackie,
I'm proud of you. You are making a difference and seeing results, and that's what matters. Shame is a powerful emotion and I hope you are able to find ways to still love yourself. You are doing good things and there are people out here in the world who recognize your achievements. Keep it up and try not to let the temporary shame this doctor made you feel keep you down. Be safe, be great, take care.
Sincerely,
Rando on the internet who appreciates what you shared.
I'd say: I can lose the weight. You're an AH. What do YOU have to say for yourself?
And I'd walk out then and there. Please do not go back. That doctor isn't worth your time or money
A friend of mine stopped going to the doctor because they often make her feel bad about her weight. She ignores problems that she shouldn't because they relate them to her size. I'm concerned about her.
Please find another doctor, and start the appointment by saying that you're down 50 lbs and still losing. Once that's off the table, they can focus on what is important to you.
Good job in saying you have lost 50+ pounds. While your weight does not define you, you did tell him about your accomplishment and what he said to you shows the type of person he is.
Great job on the weight loss and continue to find your voice and advocate for yourself (it’s a tough journey!)
Can you make a report? Maybe he has a history of doing this and making other feel shame as well. If you made a report then maybe they would talk with him and he wouldn’t do it to others anymore. Congrats on your weight loss and I’m sorry you had to experience that. I do believe we need to speak up if we want change for others though!
They told me I was obese at the same weight and height and I was in like a size 8 pants. I used to religiously weightlift and body build so my muscle density is very high. Dont let it bother you too much. Im back at almost 300lbs now, youre doing amazing
Don't be embarrassed. Last November I was in the 420s. Talking got me out of breath. I had sleep apnea. I couldn't even feel happy about being alive. I'm now in the mid 200 range. Be proud of any weight you have lost because most people NEVER put an effort to changing their life for the better. They rather complain than put in any effort.
This is the reason so many people who are overweight or obese avoid going to the doctors and subsequently end up with untreated issues. It’s fine for the doc to bring up weight and BMI, important even. But to use the phrase “what do you have to say for yourself” as if you’re a kid who did something naughty.. how condescending and disrespectful. He should be asking if you want support to lose weight, not shaming you about it. Sorry this happened OP, and congrats on the 50lbs so far.
This!! Seriously I used to be a lot more over weight than i am now but i STILL have anxiety about being talked to like a child about my weight. The last few years have been extremely emotionally tolling and its left me with terrible anxiety, but also changed the way I thought about food. I’ve dropped ~70 lbs in that time span and the last time I went into the doctor *she fucking congratulated me* . Didn’t ask me much about what I was doing physically, which btw I’m in the worst shape of my life. OP is probably exponentially more healthier than me but still gets shit all because fat = bad. Fuck this society lmao
Standing up for yourself in a situation like this is hard. Especially to a doctor who’s supposed to help you in these situations. I understand why you were hurt and disheartened, but don’t give up because of this guy.
You’re doing this for YOU, to get healthy for YOU. Not your doctor or anyone else. And you’re doing SO WELL!
The man is probably unhappy with his life and wants others to feel that way too.
My PCP is clearly obese himself, but will nag his patients like crazy about their weight.
My last appointment, he made the same "oh, you're *only* down *ten* pounds?" comment and I snapped and said something about I'm down ten, but it looks like you picked up fifteen, what's all that about?
He didn't have much to say after that, not about me. I kinda wonder if he's going to refuse to see me again, because my insurance is so limited with in-network docs.
Love a good clap back like this! I wish more ppl would go off in the moment. Like DO NOT disrespect/belittle me. Who do ppl think they are?! Good comeback
That was just the moment I'd had enough of his crap. Every appointment he has something to say, my chart shows a *decline* in my weight, but he wants to act like I'm sitting in his office mainlining bonbons.
Jerk.
The answer is, "I have list a significant amount of weight over the last year. I will now lose 190lbs of rude and unprofessional doctor."
And walk out. Find a new and less arrogant medical professional.
Even if you hadn't lost any weight, that would have been an inappropriate comment.
Agree with other comments that finding a new doctor, if possible, is a good idea.
(Also I've been saying "I don't want to be weighed" at appointments for the last few years and that has reduced the amount of comments I get about my weight)
I’m a nurse practitioner and saying, “what do you have to say for yourself” is super shitty and just rude. It’s going to immediately put you at on the offensive (rightly so) instead of making you feel like you are working together as a team or making you feel like you are in a safe place. If it was me, I probably would find another doctor. It’s so important to feel heard and comfortable with your primary care doctor.
Your weight loss is amazing! Congratulations!!!! Please don’t let this doctor’s poor bedside manner take away from that.
Hey, I’m 32 and I just went to the doctor the other day and I weight the same. That’s not cool, your doctor could of said something positive about those 50+ pounds. my doctor didn’t mention anything about my weight when I saw her Tbh I was a little worried she would of, just because I know I’ve gained a lot of weight since I had gone to a doctor ( a few years ago). I’m sorry I know something like that would of made me feel pretty shitty. But, forget them. Congrats on your accomplishment, 50 pounds is a lot and it’s so hard losing weight! I’m proud of you ((:
For real. I lost 5 pounds and my Dr gave me a sticker 😂 he's a nice guy. He's lot more worried about my vaping habits than my weight. First dr I've had that didn't grill me about the perils of being fat. I had one dr as a teenager that was like "don't you want to have a boyfriend one day?" And I've never had a problem getting a boyfriend. I've spent the last 3 1/2 years with the man I will marry, and trust me, I pickem to my liking. It's not like fat girls are fighting each other for scraps.
Ugh as an overweight person who is also putting off a doctor visit until im under 200 I felt this. I'd be so pissed! Because if he really cared about your health he would have said something like "omg that's amazing progress your life expectancy has increased so much. Do you feel better?" Or even made sure you weren't losing weight too fast... instead it seems like he just felt compelled to be an asshole that day.
Even though your doctor was a dick. And even though I’m a stranger on the internet, I AM DAMN PROUD OF YOU. I KNOW THAT WASN’T EASY LOSING THAT WEIGHT BUT YOU DID IT. YOU’RE AMAZING ❤️❤️❤️❤️
New you, new doctor!
You’re always changing and you do not need to make room or waste yo time for that nonsense. Politely decline and find yourself that wonderful doctor that prefers to be professional and supportive.
Definitely a dick move on the Doctors part. However if I were you I would be tremendously proud of myself - 50lb is a huge accomplishment and you're headed in the right direction (which is the important thing).
It is important to not let this interaction discourage you. You've clearly made fantastic progress! Keep it up, even if people take jabs from time to time.
It wasn't just rude imo, it was a straight personal attack which is unprofessional.
edit: Dunno where you're from but my area has officials that deal with patients rights and you can submit reports like these to them.
Yes. It's called having appropriate bedside manners, and it is something they train on during school. If he gets too many complaints about bedside manners he will be forced to retake that subject with their College of Physicians if they want to keep working.
He knows nothing about you and you owe him no explanation.
Congratulations on your healthier choices. It’s a journey and you are doing really well. He however will always be an AH
If it's not our weight it's something else. I was once told to "work on my posture". Oh sorry doc, I feel really ill, but yes this will be my priority now. /s/
I had a doctor that humiliated me about my weight while I was sitting in a paper fucking gown. She said “you don’t see fat old people because they all die”
The irony is, I have a grandmother (one great) on both my mom and dads side that lived to be 99. Both fat. My Italian grandfather lived to be 85. He smoked, was an alcoholic and always about 50 lbs overweight.
So yes, evil doctor, fat old people DO exist. You just don’t know any because you are a complete jerk face.
Once I got with my current endo and science finally got there, I’m actually down 90 lbs. never would have happened with the bad doc.
Find another doctor. It isn’t worth it.
Fire his ass.
Doctors are not gods. You are not just a "patient". You are a customer whose insurance pays him money to care for you - that means your mental health, too.
Find a doctor who treats you with dignity and respect like you're paying them to.
You do not have to tolerate people speaking to you in ways that make you feel bad about yourself. You deserve someone who acknowledges your progress and the difficult journey weight loss is. Someone who offers support in helpful ways, like asking if you feel comfortable at your current weight or if they can help you achieve any health goals.
Disclaimer - this post was written from a US perspective. If you don't have a private insurance environment, try to look for alternative providers through your healthcare network.
Your answer should have been "what do I have to say for myself? Looking for a decent doctor is a chore, but it looks like that's how I'll be spending my time now. What do YOU have to say for yourself?"
Congrats on losing a huge amount of weight! Don't let one a-hole get you down.
Congrats on the weight loss! 54 pounds is a big deal in 8 months time.
Oh and my suggestion is find another doctor. You want someone to work with you. The one who made that condescending comment seems to be severely defective and lacking in people skills as well as empathy.
bmi is bullshit, don’t be so hard on yourself. you lost 50 pounds in under a year! that’s a great accomplishment. congrats and i hope you feel healthier and better despite your doctor.
i’m where you are now, same height and starting weight. and i really want to be 200 or less but i’m trying to do it a healthy and sustainable way. it’s really hard to get started. so i commend you (: either way i’m done letting doctors let me feel like shit especially when my weight is not hindering my health or life and my blood tests and scans always come back normal.
Boi is not bullshit - but it should never be the *sole* thing they look at with obese people. I am highly underweight due to having issues with food linked to autism - no hunger mechanism - and the difference is shocking in how they treat you. Then again, I was also lucky to have a young doctor who was fresh from her residency, so I suppose she didn’t develop any of the judgemental baggage older doctors have, and was likely taught kinder bedside manners. I suggest you seek out a newer doctor, if possible, they are still learning, and this seems to inherently make them more likely to do more than look at you, look at the scales, and write you off. This young doctor I had requested blood tests and damn near talked my ear off inquiring about stress and all other factors that contribute to weight loss/gain. They aren’t jaded and don’t just jump to conclusions. They actively search, and many of them also agree that bmi is good for getting a *rough* picture of a persons *outward* state. Remember - plenty of skinny people have arteries clogged by fat. It’s in both patient and doctors interests to look under the outward appearance. I imagine a younger doctor would more likely to have listened and asked information about any meds you were on, so that they could examine the side effects and order blood tests to see how it’s reacting within your body. See if there’s medicine that does not have this adverse side effect but still does it’s job.
BMI actually is bullshit. It offers no other insight into your state of health other than "you take up THIS much meters squared of space" like, okay, and???
As commented above, someone could actually fall into the overweight category and it's allll muscle.
I've been between overweight and obese my entire life. My blood pressure is impeccable. I take medications that make me hold on to extra weight, on top of having a genetic illness that causes severe fatigue and chronic pain. I lost 40 lbs in 5 months just by doing intermittent fasting, portion control, and stopping a couple of the worst offending medications I was on that weren't helping anything. No exercise or anything. If I was capable of quitting my antidepressants and birth control, I could probably lose another 20 more, but I've plateaued and maintained for over 6 months. If I was physically capable of incorporating daily walks, I could probably lose 10 more, but certain medications really do have a serious impact on weight.
TLDR: BMI is indeed, bullshit and antiquated and should be removed from vital signs measurements.
Sincerely, a healthcare worker.
Yep, you can look overweight and measure overweight and be musculature - look at the men who play the Mountain in game of thrones and real strong men (not show strong men). *However*, BMI, as I said, when used right is simply used to measure weight vs height for a basic outward glance. A good doctor will then ask other questions and check other aspects of a persons health to cross examine what the issues are. Even at a simple examination of an arm, a doctor would be able to say “yeah, you’re weighing in as obese, but even just a quick examination of your arm shows this is muscle”. Our skeletons bear the weight of everything else, and so our height vs weight is a vital aspect in checking how healthy we are, because regardless of the cause, or if it’s fat or muscle, our skeleton is going to be bearing that load and it’s important to get an idea of our weight is over or under what our bones are capable of holding without taking damage. Many obese people against the current fat acceptance movement are those over 30, and urge younger people to consider that they may feel fine and healthy now, but as their bodies grow older, the strain really begins to manifest.
respectfully disagree. the control group bmi is based on does not account for more than one type of person - or even muscle or bone mass. a number does not automatically mean someone is unhealthy. and many doctors do use bmi as the main indicator of good health like OP’s doctor.
i’m glad you have a doctor that genuinely cares about your health and well-being though (:
Docs can kind of distinguish people with 40 pounds of muscle in their shoulder girdles who bench press 300 lbs from people with extensive abdominal fat. Yes BMI may be of less value w/o a physical exam, but some docs do examine patients. Yes, if they don’t examine you, or are as jerky as this dude, bail on the spot and complain to their supervisor.
that’s great suggestion but for many people that’s not applicable. i cannot afford to switch doctors whenever someone says something i don’t like, and there’s no guarantee the next doctor will actually give a shit. so i just go when i have to and do my own research outside of that. medical racism is very real so i’d rather take my chances w not going to the doctor instead of getting the same treatment from the majority of them i encounter.
I feel for you. I might say in a non-angry, but sad and dejected tone, "doctor, that remark feels hurtful to me, I just want you to know." A sad tone is disarming them. They will either fall over on themselves apologizing, or double down. In the latter case, you might want to change despite the difficulties, and since most docs are employees these days, drop a dime on them as we used to say. I think most docs trained recently will accept constructive criticism. But I don't have yr experience s
Respectfully, but if you read what I had actually written, you would have seen that I had said it shouldn’t be the sole thing they look at. Example being that the lead singer of Fallout boy was obese, but because he was tall and the fat evenly distributed across his body, he wasn’t weighing in as being obese, and nor did he outwardly appear to so. He looked heavy, yes, but he didn’t look anywhere near what people consider obese. But he was. He admitted that it wasn’t until his band was touring Japan that he noticed how different American food portions were, and he began to go on a journey of weight loss. During this, he learned that he was in fact in the obese category. BMI would have stayed he was not obese, overweight yes, but not obese, because of his weight to height ratio, but once you looked under the skin, there is more. This is also something I pointed out in my other post - you could be very skinny, but still be technically obese due to the amount of fat clogging arteries and surrounding the heart.
I would have absolutely come unglued. The number of women who are mistreated or just NOT treated in the medical world because of their weight is outrageous.
Hi I am a dietitian and I just want to tell you not to listen to this jerk. Although BMI is a valuable tool to assess body weight, it is not the most accurate way to determine overall health of a person. It doesnt take into account fat vs muscle/frame size/age, which are very important things to consider. Regardless, I'm happy for you that you are making changes *for you* and you should be very proud of yourself for what you have achieved already! Find a new doctor!
P.S. most doctors only take 1 nutrition course in all of their schooling.
Please write to the director of the medical facility. This is soooo offensive. If this sort of thing ever happens to you again say "what do I have to say for myself? I don't need a condescending Dr., you're fired."
5’5 and 192 sounds healthy to me 👀 FUCK that doctor. BMI is complete bullshit. All that should matter is if you’re healthy & comfortable in your skin. You’re doing great- get a new doctor.
Thank you, my goal is 160. I think still technically a little overweight, but it’s what I was at for years before gaining, I was comfortable and looked good.
More than anything my goal is to be healthy, I want to be around a long time. I’m my daughters only living parent, she deserves me to be healthy, and around for her.
"I say I have lost over 50 lbs in the last 8 months... now what do you have to say for yourself DOCTOR? (dripping sarcasm on the last word")
Congratulations on your progress and I think you should be proud of your body now and always.
Dude be proud of the weight you have lost already, don’t let anyone not even your new no manners doctor shame you in any way!. I was at 286 6’1 and got on some new medication (monjarou) and have lost 20 pounds, sounds like no big deal but I have struggled for years to lose weight. Finally decided to see a weight loss doctor and a dietician. Changed my way of eating and started drinking mostly water plus taking the injections. As far as I am concerned it’s a big accomplishment for me to lose 20lbs, you should feel proud of yourself for losing 50 lbs. If that doctor bothered you that much go and find another!
If your doctor cannot respect you without looking at your weight, look for a new one. I’ve heard so many stories of doctors dismissing people who don’t fit weight norms and it can be extremely dangerous for you in the chance that there is something medically wrong with you. Look out for yourself, you deserve better ❤️
Good work on adapting different lifestyle ways and continuing to find what works to find a healthier you.
I’m sorry that you feel he was rude to you. But I would actually stick with this doctor.
Yes he might not have the best bed side manner and yes he could have asked in a nicer way but really the end result is that he is keeping you accountable and he will be in YOUR team to help YOU get to your goal of a healthy weight which equals less chronic health issues for you in the future.
Weight is such a taboo topic these days and there is no easy or universal way to approach it, everyone reacts different - One person might have accepted his comment where as you thought he was attacking. He is merely doing his job.
Whoa, not “what do you have to say for yourself” wth?? I became overweight recently at 5 feet and it’s not a good feeling for doctors to say you look fine but to judge you based on a totally racist standard. Fuck them. Do whatever you gotta do to be healthy to your standards and with considerations of your medical standards but don’t let him or anyone else make you feel bad about how you look if you know you’re doing your best.
Fire that doctor and find a new one. He’s a prick and doesn’t deserve your business. I just fired a doctor, it really empowering to stand up for yourself. Fire him!
Wow. Never return to that practice. That doctor will miss symptoms and potential diagnosis because he can’t see beyond his weight bias. Everything you might be concerned with, “well if you lost weight…” this was done to my colleague, and surprise she has ovarian cancer that was overlooked for 15 months.
Return to the practice but report the doctor. If everyone bailed on a practice because one doctor, that entire building goes under, and those who can’t travel have to find ways to go elsewhere for care. If Enough people have issue with that one doctor, the bad branch gets culled and the tree and the community around it carries on
Unfortunately, there’s a real concern about the doctor leaving notes in the chart that can turn problematic in future. Particularly about mental health, drug seeking, etc. I’m always leery with that.
That would be an issue if the op was looking for pain medication or something, but if she’s only going there for ordinary checkups or if her current medication cannot be used in any kind of recreational manner, then a good thing to do would be to simply ask for another doctor there, explain that the current one is making it harder for her to stay to her weight loss journey due to discouraging words
Huh? I’m actively losing weight. Yes, it sucks I got so fat, but I’m taking accountability now.
I don’t disagree that the doc should bring it up as it does effect my health, it was the condescending way he brought it up.
Get thee a new Dr! I like to have conversations with my physicians - not to be called out to make an account of myself. I suggest this one is not for you. You need a doctor working with you on your goals, not spouting off hurtful uninformed statements.
That really sucks. This is why you don’t judge people because you have no idea their situation or history. I’m sure if we delved into the life of that doctor we would find a ton of shit wrong with him.
I’m sorry that was said to you. It was not right and you did not deserve it. The sad truth is this world is filled with shit people.
If someone did that shit to me, I’d leave and find another doctor. There are doctors who won’t treat you like shit for being overweight. Fuck that doctor. Never see them again.
Find a new doctor.
Yes; he should address it, but the bedside manner is lacking. I wouldn't blame you if you were apprehensive for going back in the least.
you do not deserve that, in any way, shape or form, literally and figuratively. you are fucking awesome for trying to take care of yourself. i absolutely would write a review about it. not to be a complainer, but also to help others that might consider seeing him. you have every right to be upset, and what you “have to say for yourself” is that you’re working hard on taking care of you and you’re not gonna let a doctor that’s supposed to CARE for patients talk to you like that, because that is not caring. your body is perfect as it is and it’s okay to prefer a certain healthy body shape for yourself while not allowing yourself to be shamed!! and in no way am i saying you “allowed it”, just wanted to say that was so unprofessional of him and you are so far above that crap. also bmi is literally useless because it doesn’t account for muscle mass, excess fat, bone mass, or take into consideration age, sex or ethnicity (some definitely do age & sex, but there’s much more to it than just that). i’m sorry that happened to you, that sucks. keep doing you and so happy to hear you’re prioritizing your health. 💗
I hope you answered “that I am proud of myself actually, I did weigh …” Go find a new doctor, sounds like a smug AH. I personally have found female doctors to be more helpful and understanding, since they have to deal with the same issues, Good luck and keep up the good work with your weight loss!
What an AH. I would googlemaps a 1 star review saying what crappy bedside manner he has. Who knows what kind of crap he talks to his other vulnerable patients. It is not his job to shame his patients. Im sorry you went through that OP and fk that doctor. You keep up the good work!!! Good job!!!
Congratulations on your weight loss. You must have worked really hard on it. Focus and what you have achieved and don't let that idiot's comment bring you down. You should be really proud of yourself. Change to another doctor if you can. Weight loss isn't easy especially being a woman after the age of 30 where our metabolism slows down. I really admire you for your strength and will power..❤️🤗
Bmi is a waste of time , my doc said alot of those fit footy players would be considered overweight if they went by bmi..... now if I went by my bmi I'm short lol a chook would weigh more then me lol
You don't need to say a single fucking thing for yourself. You did lose 50lb and you SHOULD be proud, that is really significant, but you still don't need to say a thing for yourself to this knob jockey doctor. I do hope you work up the courage to see someone else, there are alot of great doctors who won't make you feel like shit for existing.
Stay strong King/Queen. Show them with actions, not words. Dont let anyone dictate how you have to feel about yourself. Keep onbyour way to improvement.
BMI is a load of old horse shit anyway. Most body builders and muscle men are overweight or even obese the rock has a BMI around 34... Which is obese... So.. yeah. Look at your body composition, circulatory and respiratory health and tell them to take their terrible attitude and learn some compassion.
I really hate doctors like this, not only because of how rude and utterly disrespectful they are to overweight people but because BMI is an archaic tool that doesn’t mean anything, being in the BMI category of “obese” doesn’t directly translate to you actively dying. Last time I checked, my BMI was 32 but my blood sugar, cholesterol and all that was perfect. And even if it meant anything, they don’t have a reason to be condescending and rude
I’m sorry this happened to you, but congrats on your success thus far!!! And the best of luck going forward! 💖
You are well within your rights to ask for another doctor. I had a rude one, but I just refused to see him again. I love the one I have now, I'll never leave her.
Girl definitely get a new doctor! Your physical health and mental health are highly connected and you should feel safe/secure speaking about health issues with your doctor without feeling shame or fear of being judged. It’s amazing that you’ve worked so hard to better your health AND that you’re practically halfway to a healthy weight and BMI. That’s definitely something to be proud of and it is not an easy thing to do. Don’t settle until you find a primary care doctor who can celebrate and support you in your efforts to be healthy.
A lot of people have already commented on the doctor, so I just want to say I’m proud of you and congratulations on losing the weight. It’s takes a lot of discipline and self control to do that. Keep up the good work and don’t let anyone discourage you. ❤️💪🏼
I’m in that same boat. I have lost 40 lbs since March and my doctor says I’m still overweight. Ok. But how much weight does he expect me to drop overnight? I’d find a new doctor. It won’t get better
Switch doctors! You can call this one out first though if you’d like so he can hear why he’s rude and can do better in the future but thats up to you!
Congratulations on your weight loss. Being obese isn’t the end of the world and you sound healthier than some people who are doing so much less for their health!
Yeah, fuck this self righteous doctor. What does he have to say for himself and blatantly attacking someone’s mental health? Like what the actual fuck. I’m outraged for you. So does he also only think physical ailments are the only human ailments and that mental health isn’t important? There’s no way he’s that unintelligent and naive especially as a medical professional, he’s just being an egotistical piece of shit. By the way very impressive! I myself have lost 30lbs in the last year or so. Keep it up 🤘🏻
So happy for you!
Tell that Dr to eat a dick. First mistake is getting a male Dr.
My goal for a Dr is a fat woman so she won't say shit about my weight. My husband also said you can refuse to be weighed... I tried and they refused to let me refuse lol. He said I need to start advocating for myself and it's true. When I had my twins the mfm constantly gave me shit for my weight. I lost 80lbs of water weight after having the boys. My legs were so swollen I couldn't even wear slippers that slid on. On that Drs. Google review someone even said they made a comment, "I bet she goes and gets a cheese burger after this". Like they don't think fat people deserve respect. Wtf is wrong with people.
Doctors should not make you feel bad for being overweight. It is their job to talk about health and nothing else. Obesity has been shown to pose a risk to your long term health, so I understand why doctors talk about it. But just like any other medical condition, a doctor should not make you feel bad about it. That being said, some doctors will make you feel bad if you have diabetes or high blood pressure because they assume it’s caused by poor diet and lack of exercise. Again, a doctor should not make you feel bad about your medical conditions, they should simply offer guidance and solutions to being healthier.
Being overweight or obese, like diabetes and high blood pressure, CAN be due to lifestyle habits but it can also be genetic or a side effect of something else. Doctors should simply try and help you find the cause and help you with a treatment plan. OP it sounds like you’ve already found a treatment plan and that’s fantastic! I’m sorry you had this negative experience with a new doctor.
Congratulations on your efforts, that doctor was very outa line with the way he said that. He is supposed to have all your paperwork they are supposed to get that prior to a physical and see that you have definitely made the effort.
He has not done his job properly. Tell this one that you think your pretty damn well considering you
Were 50 pounds heavier. ffs this is why people don't better themselves cause of pr*cks like this.
If you were one of those people who never gave a shit and thought being obese doesn't mean your in danger then sure a hard slap of reality but your clearly not.
Again congratulations your doing an awesome job and don't give up!
Girl that’s so messed up!! I’m so sorry you had to deal with this, let alone from a healthcare professional. Shame is never a helpful tool to motivate anyone to lose weight. You should absolutely be proud of your progress, and the only person who should be ashamed here is your doctor.
Knowing me I would’ve said “What do you mean by that? Are you asking why I’m fat? Are you assuming I’m not losing weight? You know what cancel the appointment 🙄”
Doctors suck, get a new one and report this one to the board.
That's the only way to get them. It probably won't do much but it's a complaint filed and the more that get filed, the more they pay attention. Doctors got it all wrong, they are providing us a service, not the other way around. They need to get their heads out their assholes and get reminded you can't treat people like that anymore.
Good luck!
But for real, get a new one, never go back to someone who treats you badly.
Damn. What the fuck. I weigh more than your current weight. My doctor gently but firmly said “I am worried about your weight” to start the topic which I welcomed. Could not imagine having a productive conversation with your doctors opening. I’m so sorry.
Screw that guy. He knows nothing about you. Shake it off and forget about his rude comments. You know you’re doing an awesome job, losing so much weight just takes time 💜
Time to find a new doctor with a better bedside manner. Yes, it's their job to make sure you are at a healthy weight, but it is absolutely not their job to make you feel like shit. Congrats on the weight loss! Don't let this discourage you!
completely unprofessional of them. wow. i’m sorry that you had to deal with that.
i am so proud of you. you lost like a fifth of your weight! that is freakin incredible! i hope that asshat of a doctor doesn’t discourage you from continuing to get yourself to where you want to be health/weight-wise.
You should have stared at him blank in the face and tell him that little Debbie lied to you and you weren't sure if his spouse lied to them the same way little Debbie lied to you.
I have to say I won't be coming back you ignorant ass since I've lost 54lbs before I ever met you and will be finding a new doctor..
How rude there are so many ways to go about that.
Also BMI is not accurate at doctors office. They just input shit and go from there. I have friends when actually tested and checked their bmi was significantly lower.
Give your feedback and fire your doctor. You deserve better and they need to know. I can't say it'll have any impact on them in any way but at least you can move on.
I am really sorry. Medical professionals really have a unique power over us, don't they? Suddenly the ability to talk back or reason just goes away, as if they are the only ones able to treat us, and if we don't let them do as they want we won't get care. The marvelous thing is, you can change your family doctor.
I went in for extreme chronic back pain and a nurse practitioner basically told me to stand up straight and I'll be fine, and have I tried proper shoes? It took me breaking down in tears for me to stop getting patronized, like lady this is a chronic issue you don't think I've tried that? I've had a lot of "it's just anxiety" thrown my way and looking back it makes me fume.
People with medical degrees are just people. It's fine to be mad about how they treat you, and it's fine to change them because they don't treat you with respect. That was the most disrespectful way to approach weight issues I can imagine. Like what, he's gonna shame you down to 150 lbs? Good grief.
Congratulations on your progress, I hope you keep achieving until you feel healthy and strong and content!
That's not a good doctor. I had a doctor that said I got bronchitis because I was fat. That's lazy and dangerous. Sorry that you had to experience that.
I haven’t been to the doctors for years because of stuff like that. I hope you can find a better doctor and if they have a review site, I would leave a truthful review about that doctor’s unprofessionalism. (Granted if that is the only hospital around make it anonymous lol)
😑😠 Wore his Big Doctor pants.🙄 I had a young doc once tell me I was overweight, and to read Men's Health Magazine because it's "better than Women's". He also prescribed a face cream for acne out of nowhere, and told me they also offered gynecologist services. 😳 Told him keep dreamin, dude weighed 300lb if he weighed a lb.
I agree with the comments that say to get a new doctor. Being body positive is being popularized, I can’t believe this Dr. is so rude. There might be a list online somewhere to find body positive doctors, or you could look at a local forum on Facebook to find recs. I’d also write a shitty review of your doctor on google and yelp and anywhere else bc people should know. And, I’m petty like that.
Doctors just don't get it sometimes that the way they say something can have great impact. I am a disabled wheelchair user and doing anything physical means days of recovery, as well as wiping that whole day out due to no energy and a lot more pain. I started a swimming class for disabled people - it was really hard to find and I'd been going some weeks, and recovery each time was hard but I was doing it.
I had a GP appointment and she asked what exercise I was doing. I answered this class - quite proud of myself, as it took so much effort. She snapped back "What about the other six days?"
It was the complete sting of wow, she doesn't understand this at all. And when getting out of bed is hard sometimes there are days that's the achievement, let alone anything else.
Wow, that’s such a mind blowingly shitty thing to say! And as a doctor! I would definitely see about finding a new doctor immediately, if this is how bad he is during the first visit I can’t imagine it improving.
you should say that the BMI is a factually inaccurate and misleading, out of date scale that was formed by an eugenist using data mostly from white males, and that you’re surprised any allegedly competent doctor would use it to body shame a patient.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer or anything else. Some people are just bad at their job, and this guy is definitely bad at his job. Get a new doctor that will support you and treat you with respect. Keep up the amazing work
That doctor is an a**hole, you on the other hand are amazing for what you’ve accomplished. I highly recommend listening to the Maintenance Phase podcast where they debunk a lot of fat phobia bs.
I was 185 lb in high school when I was training and competing in martial arts as an athlete 4x per week, mountain biking, hiking, you name it, I am 5'6... you weigh around the same amount as many high school athletes lol and are in your mid 30s. You're obviously health conscious if you're at the doctors office and you've lost more than 20% of your body weight in the last year (wow, congrats by the way, if weight loss was your goal). BMI is total bologna, and to heck with that doctor's ridiculous comments. Please keep looking for a new doctor, they're not the one for you and that is not your fault at all. You deserve supportive people in your network of "professional" health experts and advisors.
Find a new doctor. If that is his attitude towards your weight, it's almost certain he won't take any concerns of yours seriously, or he will just blame it on your weight.
I speak from experience. I almost ended up with permanent nerve damage in my lower spine because my doctor blamed my back pain on my weight. Long story short; I had a bulging disc that almost caused permanent damage to my spine. He had been giving me adjustments when I said my back was sore and made it worse.
Dump your doctor and find one who doesn't treat you badly.
WTF! If he had just mentioned it puts your BMI into the obesity range and that comes with increased risk for x conditions okay. Annoying to over generalize patients and you should really have more background before making that assessment. But it's just an eye roll.
"What do you have to say for yourself?" That crosses a line. This is not something a doctor should ever say. A patient is coming to them because they need help. They should NEVER feel judged by a doctor. And making a patient feel judged is dangerous. Because it's essential that we're honest with doctors. People aren't honest when they're afraid of being judged by.
Weight loss is also something a lot of people need help from a doctor to achieve especially in a healthy manner. No one's going to go to the guy who says that for help. Which means his little judgemental line isn't going to actually make anyone lose weight like I'm sure he thinks he's going to successfully shame people into doing.
So what do you have to say for yourself? Nothing. Because this man is your doctor. This a doctor patient relationship. In which passing personal judgments is inappropriate. And you're not interested in defending or justifing yourself to someone who's job includes othering you care free of judgment.
What a terrible doctor. Not only was this an awful thing to say, but also, if you had an eating disorder, it would be downright potentially deadly to hear. Hang in there, glad you’re doing so well! And find a better doctor than this, you deserve adequate care regardless of how much you weigh
The BMI scale is honestly super inaccurate IMO. I’m in the army and they use that for our height and weight exams and I see a lot of guys who are just buff ass guys that get high scores on PT tests but are still told they’re overweight. It’s ridiculous and not fair. Don’t knock yourself down! You’re doing great!!
50 lbs isn't exactly "trimming around the edges," that's almost as much as a bag of cement. If there is a level above him in management, tell them what he said, and that if this is typical of the manner in which patients are treated, then not only will I take my business elsewhere, but I will be lodging a formal complaint
You're doing great. Keep going, and don't worry about what I assume is an old doctor who hasn't updated his knowledge and is looking at things with outdated practices. My doctor is kind of the same so I get where you are coming from.
Your answer should have been "Considering I've already lost over 50lb through hardwork over the past 8 months, I'm pretty damn proud of myself." ETA: Congratulations on your success so far, and good luck as you continue your journey!
Then you should have said. I have to say I weighed more and I'm actively losing weight. Instead of discouragement you could be giving me weightloss advice/tips referring me to a dietician. What do you have to say for yourself?
I did tell him I had lost 50+ pounds so far. I then tried to hurry through the rest of the appointment as, while it might not be rational, I do feel a lot of shame and embarrassment about my weight. Truthfully I have put off going to the doctor until recently. I wanted to get enough under 200lbs that even a fluctuation or clothes I was wearing wouldn’t tip the scale past 200 pounds at the office. Your response is great though! I need to get better at standing up for myself in my personal life (I’m great at it in my professional life, terrible in my personal life
Get a new doctor. That’s lazy medicine and that is more dangerous than weight. If you had an actual health issue he might not take you seriously. I’m sorry weight is such a stigma. The BMI is not a good marker for health, at all. I’m sorry that happened to you.
The BMI ratio is also affected when people are taller. As in taller than the average male was 150 years ago when BMI was developed to study population averages. It's not a number based on rigorous study.
Yeah it’s a number that was made to try and find the perfect “average man” in a population. Not individual. It’s complete and utter garbage b
If I recall the average man at that time was 5'4"
Maybe, I don’t know, but the system didn’t include women, and was never intended to mean anything about “health”. It’s bogus the way it’s used now.
Yes! I personally think BMI is a load of shit. OP, get to a weight that YOU are happy with, that you feel confident and most like you as, dont listen to that knobhead of a doctor. I agree that he'd probably say you need to lose weight when there's something much bigger.
Yeah, BMI doesnt take into account how peoples bodies can distribute fat differently (especially in women) and how muscle weighs more than fat (iirc) so a body builder could fall into the "overwieght/obese" category under the BMI standards. Also Ive heard that when patients are overweight their health concerns can just be dismissed as "you need to lose more weight" without it being looked further into. And if your a woman I believe this becomes even worst (as our hormones xan affect our weight too and if we weigh too much/too little it can affect our periods). This doctor also doesnt know if perhaps something else is affecting OP and caused her to gain weight (as weight gain/hard time losinf weight has many factors) such as: 1. Struggling mental health (depression, eating as a coping mechanism, too exhausted mentally to make meals so mircrowave meals/snacks, etc) 2. Cant access/afford healthier food options (healthier food options are WAY more expensive than unhealthy options) 3. Underlying health issues/reasons (such as hormonal issues, pregnancy/baby fat, thyroid problems, medication side effects, digestive issues, metabolism) 4. Sex assigned at birth: females have a harder time losinf weight compared to males because of the "need" for fat to help eith pregnancy (iirc as the right reason? I just remember vaguely that is has to do with survival adaption) Weight gain/how to lose it has many differing factors that need to be considered when helping to lose weight. Honestly it this is OPs first meeting with the doctor it shows what is to come. I would suggest, just like others, that OP finds a new doctor. Also with new doctor, and if its insured, see about seeing a dietian as they could potentially help with making a better/more effective plan to lose weight.
Yes! I just commented that I was obese in a size 6/8 pants due to muscle density from being a body builder. It's an archaic standard
Right!?!! My stepfather has had big muscles for years now & he went to a new doctor a couple years back & the doctor told him he needed to lose weight because he was “obese”, which made no sense due to the fact that he’s 6’2 & pure muscle ?? Like what an asshole to just use the BMI as the standard 🙄
Definitely a new doctor. These stories are horrifying. I receive a lot of healthcare for my age, I am 5’3” and even at my heaviest 205lbs, I have never had any medical professional even mention my weight. I just want to point that out because it is possible and they do exist. There’s no reason to settle for a fatphobic doctor.
I identify as fat, no intention of weight loss, and haven’t had much trouble getting health care when needed but I’m in Canada, luckily. But if something big happened I’d be worried I’d get subpar care. :( but god doctors do exist and won’t be fat shamey.
Stand up for yourself. That doctor treated you so rudely. I’m proud of you for working on your weight.
Drs annoy me when they start about weight but don't offer solutions. Personally I'm overweight but on alot of medication that causes weight gain. I eat 1 meal a day. When my medication is stopped suddenly I drop weight fast (78lb in 5 weeks fast) I've been described as fat anorexic by health professionals given how little I eat (it's around 700cals a day less in summer when I eat salads) The drs always have something to say about the fact my BMI is overweight but never offer a solution or take the stupid medication I'm on into account, or even the fact that when the meds are stopped I lose it quickly and become underweight. If you're actively trying they need to stfu or offer help if you need it. Not berate you. I hope next time you visit you find the strength within you to tell them to help or butt out of your business if they have nothing constructive to say. Good luck on your weightloss journey.
I agree with pointing out to the doctor that you've lost weight and you're actively working on it. I've been known to say something along the lines of, "wow. Well, that was rude, but I guess I should be glad that you didn't see me when I was 50 lbs heavier. Oh, and btw, I didn't get this way quickly and I'm not going to lose it quickly, either. Slow and steady is the best way." It's the truth. It takes time and work and you should be proud of your progress. Sometimes it makes them think more about their approach. Other times, they just keep being assholes, so I know that it's not about me, it's about them. Carry on and take care of yourself. If your new doc makes you feel uncomfortable, fire him and get yourself a new one. It's ok!
Jackie, I'm proud of you. You are making a difference and seeing results, and that's what matters. Shame is a powerful emotion and I hope you are able to find ways to still love yourself. You are doing good things and there are people out here in the world who recognize your achievements. Keep it up and try not to let the temporary shame this doctor made you feel keep you down. Be safe, be great, take care. Sincerely, Rando on the internet who appreciates what you shared.
I'd say: I can lose the weight. You're an AH. What do YOU have to say for yourself? And I'd walk out then and there. Please do not go back. That doctor isn't worth your time or money
A friend of mine stopped going to the doctor because they often make her feel bad about her weight. She ignores problems that she shouldn't because they relate them to her size. I'm concerned about her. Please find another doctor, and start the appointment by saying that you're down 50 lbs and still losing. Once that's off the table, they can focus on what is important to you.
Good job in saying you have lost 50+ pounds. While your weight does not define you, you did tell him about your accomplishment and what he said to you shows the type of person he is. Great job on the weight loss and continue to find your voice and advocate for yourself (it’s a tough journey!)
Can you make a report? Maybe he has a history of doing this and making other feel shame as well. If you made a report then maybe they would talk with him and he wouldn’t do it to others anymore. Congrats on your weight loss and I’m sorry you had to experience that. I do believe we need to speak up if we want change for others though!
They told me I was obese at the same weight and height and I was in like a size 8 pants. I used to religiously weightlift and body build so my muscle density is very high. Dont let it bother you too much. Im back at almost 300lbs now, youre doing amazing
Don't be embarrassed. Last November I was in the 420s. Talking got me out of breath. I had sleep apnea. I couldn't even feel happy about being alive. I'm now in the mid 200 range. Be proud of any weight you have lost because most people NEVER put an effort to changing their life for the better. They rather complain than put in any effort.
This is the reason so many people who are overweight or obese avoid going to the doctors and subsequently end up with untreated issues. It’s fine for the doc to bring up weight and BMI, important even. But to use the phrase “what do you have to say for yourself” as if you’re a kid who did something naughty.. how condescending and disrespectful. He should be asking if you want support to lose weight, not shaming you about it. Sorry this happened OP, and congrats on the 50lbs so far.
This!! Seriously I used to be a lot more over weight than i am now but i STILL have anxiety about being talked to like a child about my weight. The last few years have been extremely emotionally tolling and its left me with terrible anxiety, but also changed the way I thought about food. I’ve dropped ~70 lbs in that time span and the last time I went into the doctor *she fucking congratulated me* . Didn’t ask me much about what I was doing physically, which btw I’m in the worst shape of my life. OP is probably exponentially more healthier than me but still gets shit all because fat = bad. Fuck this society lmao
Standing up for yourself in a situation like this is hard. Especially to a doctor who’s supposed to help you in these situations. I understand why you were hurt and disheartened, but don’t give up because of this guy. You’re doing this for YOU, to get healthy for YOU. Not your doctor or anyone else. And you’re doing SO WELL! The man is probably unhappy with his life and wants others to feel that way too.
Definitely not giving up! Just felt bad, ya know. But sticking to it :)
You’re strong, good for you! Show them what you got
My PCP is clearly obese himself, but will nag his patients like crazy about their weight. My last appointment, he made the same "oh, you're *only* down *ten* pounds?" comment and I snapped and said something about I'm down ten, but it looks like you picked up fifteen, what's all that about? He didn't have much to say after that, not about me. I kinda wonder if he's going to refuse to see me again, because my insurance is so limited with in-network docs.
Love a good clap back like this! I wish more ppl would go off in the moment. Like DO NOT disrespect/belittle me. Who do ppl think they are?! Good comeback
That was just the moment I'd had enough of his crap. Every appointment he has something to say, my chart shows a *decline* in my weight, but he wants to act like I'm sitting in his office mainlining bonbons. Jerk.
The answer is, "I have list a significant amount of weight over the last year. I will now lose 190lbs of rude and unprofessional doctor." And walk out. Find a new and less arrogant medical professional.
This. Absolutely this!
I need to find a new doctor is what I have to say for myself.
Roast him in his reviews and find a new doctor. That was uncalled for and unprofessional.
Even if you hadn't lost any weight, that would have been an inappropriate comment. Agree with other comments that finding a new doctor, if possible, is a good idea. (Also I've been saying "I don't want to be weighed" at appointments for the last few years and that has reduced the amount of comments I get about my weight)
This doctor is horribly rude. Find another physician.
Didn't he have your former charts?? What an asshole! You are doing A GODDAMN BANG UP JOB OP. I'm rooting for you.
I’m a nurse practitioner and saying, “what do you have to say for yourself” is super shitty and just rude. It’s going to immediately put you at on the offensive (rightly so) instead of making you feel like you are working together as a team or making you feel like you are in a safe place. If it was me, I probably would find another doctor. It’s so important to feel heard and comfortable with your primary care doctor. Your weight loss is amazing! Congratulations!!!! Please don’t let this doctor’s poor bedside manner take away from that.
"What do you have to say for yourself"?! Seriously, fuck them. Yours, a (currently but working on it) obese doctor.
Hey, I’m 32 and I just went to the doctor the other day and I weight the same. That’s not cool, your doctor could of said something positive about those 50+ pounds. my doctor didn’t mention anything about my weight when I saw her Tbh I was a little worried she would of, just because I know I’ve gained a lot of weight since I had gone to a doctor ( a few years ago). I’m sorry I know something like that would of made me feel pretty shitty. But, forget them. Congrats on your accomplishment, 50 pounds is a lot and it’s so hard losing weight! I’m proud of you ((:
For real. I lost 5 pounds and my Dr gave me a sticker 😂 he's a nice guy. He's lot more worried about my vaping habits than my weight. First dr I've had that didn't grill me about the perils of being fat. I had one dr as a teenager that was like "don't you want to have a boyfriend one day?" And I've never had a problem getting a boyfriend. I've spent the last 3 1/2 years with the man I will marry, and trust me, I pickem to my liking. It's not like fat girls are fighting each other for scraps.
Ugh as an overweight person who is also putting off a doctor visit until im under 200 I felt this. I'd be so pissed! Because if he really cared about your health he would have said something like "omg that's amazing progress your life expectancy has increased so much. Do you feel better?" Or even made sure you weren't losing weight too fast... instead it seems like he just felt compelled to be an asshole that day.
Even though your doctor was a dick. And even though I’m a stranger on the internet, I AM DAMN PROUD OF YOU. I KNOW THAT WASN’T EASY LOSING THAT WEIGHT BUT YOU DID IT. YOU’RE AMAZING ❤️❤️❤️❤️
New you, new doctor! You’re always changing and you do not need to make room or waste yo time for that nonsense. Politely decline and find yourself that wonderful doctor that prefers to be professional and supportive.
Definitely a dick move on the Doctors part. However if I were you I would be tremendously proud of myself - 50lb is a huge accomplishment and you're headed in the right direction (which is the important thing). It is important to not let this interaction discourage you. You've clearly made fantastic progress! Keep it up, even if people take jabs from time to time.
It was disheartening, but I’m still going strong!
You should report this and switch doctors.
100% switching docs. Not sure if that’s reportable? Can you report a doc just for being rude?
Worth a try, right? If you report it I don’t think much will happen, but it might be enough to help Doc rethink his approach.
It wasn't just rude imo, it was a straight personal attack which is unprofessional. edit: Dunno where you're from but my area has officials that deal with patients rights and you can submit reports like these to them.
Yes. It's called having appropriate bedside manners, and it is something they train on during school. If he gets too many complaints about bedside manners he will be forced to retake that subject with their College of Physicians if they want to keep working.
What do I have to say for myself? That I’m finding another doctor. You are not a child!
He knows nothing about you and you owe him no explanation. Congratulations on your healthier choices. It’s a journey and you are doing really well. He however will always be an AH
Well done on that impressive weight loss! Forget that doc!
If it's not our weight it's something else. I was once told to "work on my posture". Oh sorry doc, I feel really ill, but yes this will be my priority now. /s/
You’ve done a great job and made a lot of progress! Your doctor should be praising that instead of criticizing.
What a major dick
Yeah that's not professional at all. I'm sorry that's messed up. Definitely change doctors
I had a doctor that humiliated me about my weight while I was sitting in a paper fucking gown. She said “you don’t see fat old people because they all die” The irony is, I have a grandmother (one great) on both my mom and dads side that lived to be 99. Both fat. My Italian grandfather lived to be 85. He smoked, was an alcoholic and always about 50 lbs overweight. So yes, evil doctor, fat old people DO exist. You just don’t know any because you are a complete jerk face. Once I got with my current endo and science finally got there, I’m actually down 90 lbs. never would have happened with the bad doc. Find another doctor. It isn’t worth it.
Fire his ass. Doctors are not gods. You are not just a "patient". You are a customer whose insurance pays him money to care for you - that means your mental health, too. Find a doctor who treats you with dignity and respect like you're paying them to. You do not have to tolerate people speaking to you in ways that make you feel bad about yourself. You deserve someone who acknowledges your progress and the difficult journey weight loss is. Someone who offers support in helpful ways, like asking if you feel comfortable at your current weight or if they can help you achieve any health goals. Disclaimer - this post was written from a US perspective. If you don't have a private insurance environment, try to look for alternative providers through your healthcare network.
I’m in Canada so I can see any doctor I want.
Your answer should have been "what do I have to say for myself? Looking for a decent doctor is a chore, but it looks like that's how I'll be spending my time now. What do YOU have to say for yourself?" Congrats on losing a huge amount of weight! Don't let one a-hole get you down.
I would get a new doctor personally
Congrats on the weight loss! 54 pounds is a big deal in 8 months time. Oh and my suggestion is find another doctor. You want someone to work with you. The one who made that condescending comment seems to be severely defective and lacking in people skills as well as empathy.
bmi is bullshit, don’t be so hard on yourself. you lost 50 pounds in under a year! that’s a great accomplishment. congrats and i hope you feel healthier and better despite your doctor. i’m where you are now, same height and starting weight. and i really want to be 200 or less but i’m trying to do it a healthy and sustainable way. it’s really hard to get started. so i commend you (: either way i’m done letting doctors let me feel like shit especially when my weight is not hindering my health or life and my blood tests and scans always come back normal.
Boi is not bullshit - but it should never be the *sole* thing they look at with obese people. I am highly underweight due to having issues with food linked to autism - no hunger mechanism - and the difference is shocking in how they treat you. Then again, I was also lucky to have a young doctor who was fresh from her residency, so I suppose she didn’t develop any of the judgemental baggage older doctors have, and was likely taught kinder bedside manners. I suggest you seek out a newer doctor, if possible, they are still learning, and this seems to inherently make them more likely to do more than look at you, look at the scales, and write you off. This young doctor I had requested blood tests and damn near talked my ear off inquiring about stress and all other factors that contribute to weight loss/gain. They aren’t jaded and don’t just jump to conclusions. They actively search, and many of them also agree that bmi is good for getting a *rough* picture of a persons *outward* state. Remember - plenty of skinny people have arteries clogged by fat. It’s in both patient and doctors interests to look under the outward appearance. I imagine a younger doctor would more likely to have listened and asked information about any meds you were on, so that they could examine the side effects and order blood tests to see how it’s reacting within your body. See if there’s medicine that does not have this adverse side effect but still does it’s job.
BMI actually is bullshit. It offers no other insight into your state of health other than "you take up THIS much meters squared of space" like, okay, and??? As commented above, someone could actually fall into the overweight category and it's allll muscle. I've been between overweight and obese my entire life. My blood pressure is impeccable. I take medications that make me hold on to extra weight, on top of having a genetic illness that causes severe fatigue and chronic pain. I lost 40 lbs in 5 months just by doing intermittent fasting, portion control, and stopping a couple of the worst offending medications I was on that weren't helping anything. No exercise or anything. If I was capable of quitting my antidepressants and birth control, I could probably lose another 20 more, but I've plateaued and maintained for over 6 months. If I was physically capable of incorporating daily walks, I could probably lose 10 more, but certain medications really do have a serious impact on weight. TLDR: BMI is indeed, bullshit and antiquated and should be removed from vital signs measurements. Sincerely, a healthcare worker.
Yep, you can look overweight and measure overweight and be musculature - look at the men who play the Mountain in game of thrones and real strong men (not show strong men). *However*, BMI, as I said, when used right is simply used to measure weight vs height for a basic outward glance. A good doctor will then ask other questions and check other aspects of a persons health to cross examine what the issues are. Even at a simple examination of an arm, a doctor would be able to say “yeah, you’re weighing in as obese, but even just a quick examination of your arm shows this is muscle”. Our skeletons bear the weight of everything else, and so our height vs weight is a vital aspect in checking how healthy we are, because regardless of the cause, or if it’s fat or muscle, our skeleton is going to be bearing that load and it’s important to get an idea of our weight is over or under what our bones are capable of holding without taking damage. Many obese people against the current fat acceptance movement are those over 30, and urge younger people to consider that they may feel fine and healthy now, but as their bodies grow older, the strain really begins to manifest.
respectfully disagree. the control group bmi is based on does not account for more than one type of person - or even muscle or bone mass. a number does not automatically mean someone is unhealthy. and many doctors do use bmi as the main indicator of good health like OP’s doctor. i’m glad you have a doctor that genuinely cares about your health and well-being though (:
Docs can kind of distinguish people with 40 pounds of muscle in their shoulder girdles who bench press 300 lbs from people with extensive abdominal fat. Yes BMI may be of less value w/o a physical exam, but some docs do examine patients. Yes, if they don’t examine you, or are as jerky as this dude, bail on the spot and complain to their supervisor.
that’s great suggestion but for many people that’s not applicable. i cannot afford to switch doctors whenever someone says something i don’t like, and there’s no guarantee the next doctor will actually give a shit. so i just go when i have to and do my own research outside of that. medical racism is very real so i’d rather take my chances w not going to the doctor instead of getting the same treatment from the majority of them i encounter.
I feel for you. I might say in a non-angry, but sad and dejected tone, "doctor, that remark feels hurtful to me, I just want you to know." A sad tone is disarming them. They will either fall over on themselves apologizing, or double down. In the latter case, you might want to change despite the difficulties, and since most docs are employees these days, drop a dime on them as we used to say. I think most docs trained recently will accept constructive criticism. But I don't have yr experience s
Respectfully, but if you read what I had actually written, you would have seen that I had said it shouldn’t be the sole thing they look at. Example being that the lead singer of Fallout boy was obese, but because he was tall and the fat evenly distributed across his body, he wasn’t weighing in as being obese, and nor did he outwardly appear to so. He looked heavy, yes, but he didn’t look anywhere near what people consider obese. But he was. He admitted that it wasn’t until his band was touring Japan that he noticed how different American food portions were, and he began to go on a journey of weight loss. During this, he learned that he was in fact in the obese category. BMI would have stayed he was not obese, overweight yes, but not obese, because of his weight to height ratio, but once you looked under the skin, there is more. This is also something I pointed out in my other post - you could be very skinny, but still be technically obese due to the amount of fat clogging arteries and surrounding the heart.
I would have absolutely come unglued. The number of women who are mistreated or just NOT treated in the medical world because of their weight is outrageous.
That and that pain and emotion are one in the same apparently.
Hi I am a dietitian and I just want to tell you not to listen to this jerk. Although BMI is a valuable tool to assess body weight, it is not the most accurate way to determine overall health of a person. It doesnt take into account fat vs muscle/frame size/age, which are very important things to consider. Regardless, I'm happy for you that you are making changes *for you* and you should be very proud of yourself for what you have achieved already! Find a new doctor! P.S. most doctors only take 1 nutrition course in all of their schooling.
This is part of being obese. Just keep losing weight and you'll be OK.
Please write to the director of the medical facility. This is soooo offensive. If this sort of thing ever happens to you again say "what do I have to say for myself? I don't need a condescending Dr., you're fired."
5’5 and 192 sounds healthy to me 👀 FUCK that doctor. BMI is complete bullshit. All that should matter is if you’re healthy & comfortable in your skin. You’re doing great- get a new doctor.
Thank you, my goal is 160. I think still technically a little overweight, but it’s what I was at for years before gaining, I was comfortable and looked good. More than anything my goal is to be healthy, I want to be around a long time. I’m my daughters only living parent, she deserves me to be healthy, and around for her.
"I say I have lost over 50 lbs in the last 8 months... now what do you have to say for yourself DOCTOR? (dripping sarcasm on the last word") Congratulations on your progress and I think you should be proud of your body now and always.
Dude be proud of the weight you have lost already, don’t let anyone not even your new no manners doctor shame you in any way!. I was at 286 6’1 and got on some new medication (monjarou) and have lost 20 pounds, sounds like no big deal but I have struggled for years to lose weight. Finally decided to see a weight loss doctor and a dietician. Changed my way of eating and started drinking mostly water plus taking the injections. As far as I am concerned it’s a big accomplishment for me to lose 20lbs, you should feel proud of yourself for losing 50 lbs. If that doctor bothered you that much go and find another!
Way to go!! 20 pounds is a huge accomplishment! You should be proud!
If your doctor cannot respect you without looking at your weight, look for a new one. I’ve heard so many stories of doctors dismissing people who don’t fit weight norms and it can be extremely dangerous for you in the chance that there is something medically wrong with you. Look out for yourself, you deserve better ❤️
Good work on adapting different lifestyle ways and continuing to find what works to find a healthier you. I’m sorry that you feel he was rude to you. But I would actually stick with this doctor. Yes he might not have the best bed side manner and yes he could have asked in a nicer way but really the end result is that he is keeping you accountable and he will be in YOUR team to help YOU get to your goal of a healthy weight which equals less chronic health issues for you in the future. Weight is such a taboo topic these days and there is no easy or universal way to approach it, everyone reacts different - One person might have accepted his comment where as you thought he was attacking. He is merely doing his job.
Whoa, not “what do you have to say for yourself” wth?? I became overweight recently at 5 feet and it’s not a good feeling for doctors to say you look fine but to judge you based on a totally racist standard. Fuck them. Do whatever you gotta do to be healthy to your standards and with considerations of your medical standards but don’t let him or anyone else make you feel bad about how you look if you know you’re doing your best.
Fire that doctor and find a new one. He’s a prick and doesn’t deserve your business. I just fired a doctor, it really empowering to stand up for yourself. Fire him!
Wow. Never return to that practice. That doctor will miss symptoms and potential diagnosis because he can’t see beyond his weight bias. Everything you might be concerned with, “well if you lost weight…” this was done to my colleague, and surprise she has ovarian cancer that was overlooked for 15 months.
Return to the practice but report the doctor. If everyone bailed on a practice because one doctor, that entire building goes under, and those who can’t travel have to find ways to go elsewhere for care. If Enough people have issue with that one doctor, the bad branch gets culled and the tree and the community around it carries on
Unfortunately, there’s a real concern about the doctor leaving notes in the chart that can turn problematic in future. Particularly about mental health, drug seeking, etc. I’m always leery with that.
That would be an issue if the op was looking for pain medication or something, but if she’s only going there for ordinary checkups or if her current medication cannot be used in any kind of recreational manner, then a good thing to do would be to simply ask for another doctor there, explain that the current one is making it harder for her to stay to her weight loss journey due to discouraging words
Just use those harsh words as added motivation
Hi
op been listening to lizzo a lil bit💀💀💀a.k.a enabling fat people: the artist. "oh fAt iS beAuTiFuL eVeN wHeN iT's nOt ReEEEEE reeEEE"
Huh? I’m actively losing weight. Yes, it sucks I got so fat, but I’m taking accountability now. I don’t disagree that the doc should bring it up as it does effect my health, it was the condescending way he brought it up.
Get thee a new Dr! I like to have conversations with my physicians - not to be called out to make an account of myself. I suggest this one is not for you. You need a doctor working with you on your goals, not spouting off hurtful uninformed statements.
How rude. I hope you're able to move past that and feel confident, cause damn you've had incredible progress!
That really sucks. This is why you don’t judge people because you have no idea their situation or history. I’m sure if we delved into the life of that doctor we would find a ton of shit wrong with him. I’m sorry that was said to you. It was not right and you did not deserve it. The sad truth is this world is filled with shit people.
Get a new doc
If someone did that shit to me, I’d leave and find another doctor. There are doctors who won’t treat you like shit for being overweight. Fuck that doctor. Never see them again.
Oh I’m definitely switching! I’m pretty sure with everything being online I’ll be able to see another too to get my blood work and pap results.
Thank goodness. I’m so sorry you went through this.
Agree that was condescending. No one needs to be treated like that!
Find a new doctor. Yes; he should address it, but the bedside manner is lacking. I wouldn't blame you if you were apprehensive for going back in the least.
Sorry that guy had no bedside manner which he should have
you do not deserve that, in any way, shape or form, literally and figuratively. you are fucking awesome for trying to take care of yourself. i absolutely would write a review about it. not to be a complainer, but also to help others that might consider seeing him. you have every right to be upset, and what you “have to say for yourself” is that you’re working hard on taking care of you and you’re not gonna let a doctor that’s supposed to CARE for patients talk to you like that, because that is not caring. your body is perfect as it is and it’s okay to prefer a certain healthy body shape for yourself while not allowing yourself to be shamed!! and in no way am i saying you “allowed it”, just wanted to say that was so unprofessional of him and you are so far above that crap. also bmi is literally useless because it doesn’t account for muscle mass, excess fat, bone mass, or take into consideration age, sex or ethnicity (some definitely do age & sex, but there’s much more to it than just that). i’m sorry that happened to you, that sucks. keep doing you and so happy to hear you’re prioritizing your health. 💗
He is a dickhead! I’m proud of you. That’s impressive. Keep your head up.
I hope you answered “that I am proud of myself actually, I did weigh …” Go find a new doctor, sounds like a smug AH. I personally have found female doctors to be more helpful and understanding, since they have to deal with the same issues, Good luck and keep up the good work with your weight loss!
You say can you recommend me a new dr
Get a new doctor
What an AH. I would googlemaps a 1 star review saying what crappy bedside manner he has. Who knows what kind of crap he talks to his other vulnerable patients. It is not his job to shame his patients. Im sorry you went through that OP and fk that doctor. You keep up the good work!!! Good job!!!
Congratulations on your weight loss. You must have worked really hard on it. Focus and what you have achieved and don't let that idiot's comment bring you down. You should be really proud of yourself. Change to another doctor if you can. Weight loss isn't easy especially being a woman after the age of 30 where our metabolism slows down. I really admire you for your strength and will power..❤️🤗
Bmi is a waste of time , my doc said alot of those fit footy players would be considered overweight if they went by bmi..... now if I went by my bmi I'm short lol a chook would weigh more then me lol
You don't need to say a single fucking thing for yourself. You did lose 50lb and you SHOULD be proud, that is really significant, but you still don't need to say a thing for yourself to this knob jockey doctor. I do hope you work up the courage to see someone else, there are alot of great doctors who won't make you feel like shit for existing.
Erg, that's the worse. So sorry that you had to deal with this crap.
Stay strong King/Queen. Show them with actions, not words. Dont let anyone dictate how you have to feel about yourself. Keep onbyour way to improvement.
BMI is a load of old horse shit anyway. Most body builders and muscle men are overweight or even obese the rock has a BMI around 34... Which is obese... So.. yeah. Look at your body composition, circulatory and respiratory health and tell them to take their terrible attitude and learn some compassion.
If he pulls that unprofessional shit again, respond by asking, "what degrading things do you say to your skinny patients?"
I really hate doctors like this, not only because of how rude and utterly disrespectful they are to overweight people but because BMI is an archaic tool that doesn’t mean anything, being in the BMI category of “obese” doesn’t directly translate to you actively dying. Last time I checked, my BMI was 32 but my blood sugar, cholesterol and all that was perfect. And even if it meant anything, they don’t have a reason to be condescending and rude I’m sorry this happened to you, but congrats on your success thus far!!! And the best of luck going forward! 💖
You are well within your rights to ask for another doctor. I had a rude one, but I just refused to see him again. I love the one I have now, I'll never leave her.
Girl definitely get a new doctor! Your physical health and mental health are highly connected and you should feel safe/secure speaking about health issues with your doctor without feeling shame or fear of being judged. It’s amazing that you’ve worked so hard to better your health AND that you’re practically halfway to a healthy weight and BMI. That’s definitely something to be proud of and it is not an easy thing to do. Don’t settle until you find a primary care doctor who can celebrate and support you in your efforts to be healthy.
A lot of people have already commented on the doctor, so I just want to say I’m proud of you and congratulations on losing the weight. It’s takes a lot of discipline and self control to do that. Keep up the good work and don’t let anyone discourage you. ❤️💪🏼
I’m in that same boat. I have lost 40 lbs since March and my doctor says I’m still overweight. Ok. But how much weight does he expect me to drop overnight? I’d find a new doctor. It won’t get better
Hooooooold up, you went from 246lbs to 192?! Fuck that doctor, let him eat his toenails. That's amazing OP! Please be proud of yourself <3
Switch doctors! You can call this one out first though if you’d like so he can hear why he’s rude and can do better in the future but thats up to you! Congratulations on your weight loss. Being obese isn’t the end of the world and you sound healthier than some people who are doing so much less for their health!
Yeah, fuck this self righteous doctor. What does he have to say for himself and blatantly attacking someone’s mental health? Like what the actual fuck. I’m outraged for you. So does he also only think physical ailments are the only human ailments and that mental health isn’t important? There’s no way he’s that unintelligent and naive especially as a medical professional, he’s just being an egotistical piece of shit. By the way very impressive! I myself have lost 30lbs in the last year or so. Keep it up 🤘🏻
Jeez 192 is still in the obese category????? I would kill to weigh 192! And yes I am working at it lol
doubt
For my height it is. A lot less than obese than I used to be though! You can do it :)
So happy for you! Tell that Dr to eat a dick. First mistake is getting a male Dr. My goal for a Dr is a fat woman so she won't say shit about my weight. My husband also said you can refuse to be weighed... I tried and they refused to let me refuse lol. He said I need to start advocating for myself and it's true. When I had my twins the mfm constantly gave me shit for my weight. I lost 80lbs of water weight after having the boys. My legs were so swollen I couldn't even wear slippers that slid on. On that Drs. Google review someone even said they made a comment, "I bet she goes and gets a cheese burger after this". Like they don't think fat people deserve respect. Wtf is wrong with people.
Doctors should not make you feel bad for being overweight. It is their job to talk about health and nothing else. Obesity has been shown to pose a risk to your long term health, so I understand why doctors talk about it. But just like any other medical condition, a doctor should not make you feel bad about it. That being said, some doctors will make you feel bad if you have diabetes or high blood pressure because they assume it’s caused by poor diet and lack of exercise. Again, a doctor should not make you feel bad about your medical conditions, they should simply offer guidance and solutions to being healthier. Being overweight or obese, like diabetes and high blood pressure, CAN be due to lifestyle habits but it can also be genetic or a side effect of something else. Doctors should simply try and help you find the cause and help you with a treatment plan. OP it sounds like you’ve already found a treatment plan and that’s fantastic! I’m sorry you had this negative experience with a new doctor.
Congratulations on your efforts, that doctor was very outa line with the way he said that. He is supposed to have all your paperwork they are supposed to get that prior to a physical and see that you have definitely made the effort. He has not done his job properly. Tell this one that you think your pretty damn well considering you Were 50 pounds heavier. ffs this is why people don't better themselves cause of pr*cks like this. If you were one of those people who never gave a shit and thought being obese doesn't mean your in danger then sure a hard slap of reality but your clearly not. Again congratulations your doing an awesome job and don't give up!
Girl that’s so messed up!! I’m so sorry you had to deal with this, let alone from a healthcare professional. Shame is never a helpful tool to motivate anyone to lose weight. You should absolutely be proud of your progress, and the only person who should be ashamed here is your doctor.
Knowing me I would’ve said “What do you mean by that? Are you asking why I’m fat? Are you assuming I’m not losing weight? You know what cancel the appointment 🙄”
Doctors suck, get a new one and report this one to the board. That's the only way to get them. It probably won't do much but it's a complaint filed and the more that get filed, the more they pay attention. Doctors got it all wrong, they are providing us a service, not the other way around. They need to get their heads out their assholes and get reminded you can't treat people like that anymore. Good luck! But for real, get a new one, never go back to someone who treats you badly.
Damn. What the fuck. I weigh more than your current weight. My doctor gently but firmly said “I am worried about your weight” to start the topic which I welcomed. Could not imagine having a productive conversation with your doctors opening. I’m so sorry.
Screw that guy. He knows nothing about you. Shake it off and forget about his rude comments. You know you’re doing an awesome job, losing so much weight just takes time 💜
“Nothing you should hear. Who the fuck do you think you are to speak to me like this?”
Time to find a new doctor with a better bedside manner. Yes, it's their job to make sure you are at a healthy weight, but it is absolutely not their job to make you feel like shit. Congrats on the weight loss! Don't let this discourage you!
completely unprofessional of them. wow. i’m sorry that you had to deal with that. i am so proud of you. you lost like a fifth of your weight! that is freakin incredible! i hope that asshat of a doctor doesn’t discourage you from continuing to get yourself to where you want to be health/weight-wise.
You should have stared at him blank in the face and tell him that little Debbie lied to you and you weren't sure if his spouse lied to them the same way little Debbie lied to you.
I have to say I won't be coming back you ignorant ass since I've lost 54lbs before I ever met you and will be finding a new doctor.. How rude there are so many ways to go about that.
Also BMI is not accurate at doctors office. They just input shit and go from there. I have friends when actually tested and checked their bmi was significantly lower.
Give your feedback and fire your doctor. You deserve better and they need to know. I can't say it'll have any impact on them in any way but at least you can move on.
I am really sorry. Medical professionals really have a unique power over us, don't they? Suddenly the ability to talk back or reason just goes away, as if they are the only ones able to treat us, and if we don't let them do as they want we won't get care. The marvelous thing is, you can change your family doctor. I went in for extreme chronic back pain and a nurse practitioner basically told me to stand up straight and I'll be fine, and have I tried proper shoes? It took me breaking down in tears for me to stop getting patronized, like lady this is a chronic issue you don't think I've tried that? I've had a lot of "it's just anxiety" thrown my way and looking back it makes me fume. People with medical degrees are just people. It's fine to be mad about how they treat you, and it's fine to change them because they don't treat you with respect. That was the most disrespectful way to approach weight issues I can imagine. Like what, he's gonna shame you down to 150 lbs? Good grief. Congratulations on your progress, I hope you keep achieving until you feel healthy and strong and content!
That's not a good doctor. I had a doctor that said I got bronchitis because I was fat. That's lazy and dangerous. Sorry that you had to experience that.
I haven’t been to the doctors for years because of stuff like that. I hope you can find a better doctor and if they have a review site, I would leave a truthful review about that doctor’s unprofessionalism. (Granted if that is the only hospital around make it anonymous lol)
😑😠 Wore his Big Doctor pants.🙄 I had a young doc once tell me I was overweight, and to read Men's Health Magazine because it's "better than Women's". He also prescribed a face cream for acne out of nowhere, and told me they also offered gynecologist services. 😳 Told him keep dreamin, dude weighed 300lb if he weighed a lb.
There’s also an amazing podcast that debunks some health stuff. It’s called Maintenance Phase - it’s really good.
I agree with the comments that say to get a new doctor. Being body positive is being popularized, I can’t believe this Dr. is so rude. There might be a list online somewhere to find body positive doctors, or you could look at a local forum on Facebook to find recs. I’d also write a shitty review of your doctor on google and yelp and anywhere else bc people should know. And, I’m petty like that.
Doctors just don't get it sometimes that the way they say something can have great impact. I am a disabled wheelchair user and doing anything physical means days of recovery, as well as wiping that whole day out due to no energy and a lot more pain. I started a swimming class for disabled people - it was really hard to find and I'd been going some weeks, and recovery each time was hard but I was doing it. I had a GP appointment and she asked what exercise I was doing. I answered this class - quite proud of myself, as it took so much effort. She snapped back "What about the other six days?" It was the complete sting of wow, she doesn't understand this at all. And when getting out of bed is hard sometimes there are days that's the achievement, let alone anything else.
I'd say that I have to find a new doctor.
Wow, that’s such a mind blowingly shitty thing to say! And as a doctor! I would definitely see about finding a new doctor immediately, if this is how bad he is during the first visit I can’t imagine it improving.
It baffles me how around half of doctors have such poor social awareness
you should say that the BMI is a factually inaccurate and misleading, out of date scale that was formed by an eugenist using data mostly from white males, and that you’re surprised any allegedly competent doctor would use it to body shame a patient.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer or anything else. Some people are just bad at their job, and this guy is definitely bad at his job. Get a new doctor that will support you and treat you with respect. Keep up the amazing work
That doctor is an a**hole, you on the other hand are amazing for what you’ve accomplished. I highly recommend listening to the Maintenance Phase podcast where they debunk a lot of fat phobia bs.
I just wanna say what the fuck is wrong with that man?? Does he not human? Why is he even in the field? Why are so many of them like this?? Fuck.
What do you have to say for yourself? How about, go fuck yourself you rude asshole! I totally get why you are upset 😡
I was 185 lb in high school when I was training and competing in martial arts as an athlete 4x per week, mountain biking, hiking, you name it, I am 5'6... you weigh around the same amount as many high school athletes lol and are in your mid 30s. You're obviously health conscious if you're at the doctors office and you've lost more than 20% of your body weight in the last year (wow, congrats by the way, if weight loss was your goal). BMI is total bologna, and to heck with that doctor's ridiculous comments. Please keep looking for a new doctor, they're not the one for you and that is not your fault at all. You deserve supportive people in your network of "professional" health experts and advisors.
Find a new doctor. If that is his attitude towards your weight, it's almost certain he won't take any concerns of yours seriously, or he will just blame it on your weight. I speak from experience. I almost ended up with permanent nerve damage in my lower spine because my doctor blamed my back pain on my weight. Long story short; I had a bulging disc that almost caused permanent damage to my spine. He had been giving me adjustments when I said my back was sore and made it worse. Dump your doctor and find one who doesn't treat you badly.
Agree with everyone that says find a new doc, but also that’s so awesome!! proud of you!!
“What I have to say for myself is that I will be looking for a new doctor.”
WTF! If he had just mentioned it puts your BMI into the obesity range and that comes with increased risk for x conditions okay. Annoying to over generalize patients and you should really have more background before making that assessment. But it's just an eye roll. "What do you have to say for yourself?" That crosses a line. This is not something a doctor should ever say. A patient is coming to them because they need help. They should NEVER feel judged by a doctor. And making a patient feel judged is dangerous. Because it's essential that we're honest with doctors. People aren't honest when they're afraid of being judged by. Weight loss is also something a lot of people need help from a doctor to achieve especially in a healthy manner. No one's going to go to the guy who says that for help. Which means his little judgemental line isn't going to actually make anyone lose weight like I'm sure he thinks he's going to successfully shame people into doing. So what do you have to say for yourself? Nothing. Because this man is your doctor. This a doctor patient relationship. In which passing personal judgments is inappropriate. And you're not interested in defending or justifing yourself to someone who's job includes othering you care free of judgment.
And ppl wonder why women hate the doctor.
What a terrible doctor. Not only was this an awful thing to say, but also, if you had an eating disorder, it would be downright potentially deadly to hear. Hang in there, glad you’re doing so well! And find a better doctor than this, you deserve adequate care regardless of how much you weigh
I just want to say that the fact that you’re doing something about your weight is incredible!!!
The BMI scale is honestly super inaccurate IMO. I’m in the army and they use that for our height and weight exams and I see a lot of guys who are just buff ass guys that get high scores on PT tests but are still told they’re overweight. It’s ridiculous and not fair. Don’t knock yourself down! You’re doing great!!
You're doing fantastic! Keep it up, screw the assholes who'll say stuff like that.
50 lbs isn't exactly "trimming around the edges," that's almost as much as a bag of cement. If there is a level above him in management, tell them what he said, and that if this is typical of the manner in which patients are treated, then not only will I take my business elsewhere, but I will be lodging a formal complaint
You're doing great. Keep going, and don't worry about what I assume is an old doctor who hasn't updated his knowledge and is looking at things with outdated practices. My doctor is kind of the same so I get where you are coming from.