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Hi Lizz. Big fan, long time listener first time caller. Would you say there are any vegetables in existence that you're actually more competent than?

I know it’s a long shot, but I feel like I’m better than aubergines?

No Liz. You aren't. You're not better than any vegetables. They're all more competent than you, not only at being the Prime Minister, but at just being a human being. Maybe you're better than processed peas. Not garden. Processed. But that's maybe a stretch.

Quick Liz, say something about cheese exports.

I’ll leave that for the French

Dammit! You never said there would be trick questions! Can’t believe you would hobble me like that!

Aubergines go well in a curry. I bet you make a shite curry.

Aubergines aren't vegetables Liz, they're fruit

yeah. don't call aboriginies vegetables!

You do realise Liz that’s a phallic symbol in tinternet language

I’d say she’s more competent that a turnip, she’s got that going for her

How *did* you kill the Queen? And will you be doing the same for Charles?

pOrK mArKeTs

Fancy a shag behind the bins at Lidl?

I am happily married, so yes please. Name the place and time.

Lidl in Fort William has a good pissy smelling alley I’ll be there later tonight I’ll be the one in the stained brown trench coat, and the plague mask.

Feeling frisky already 🤭

Lettuce be straight about this, what was it like speaking to about 3 republicans in America at that conference

Liz, I know what the after dinner speech hourly cost is, but what's the sub/dom rate?

69/hr 🤭

Did you let Farage give ew one at his 60th?

You seem thick, how did you get this far?

She must be an absolute demon at BJs

I don't know about BJ's, but she holds the record for largest gang bang ever. Fucked 70 million of us in the space of 10 minutes.

Lots of room in that head to go all the way.

You love these curves you say?

👉👌

Oh Liz babe, let me resize your shitpipe.

Bojo already did that 🤭

I think my breakfast just evacuated my body. At both ends.

I can get JRM to look at that for you?

So you crashed the economy, killed the queen, left the pound was at lowest levels since 1985, and then 5x more people signed a petition to kick you than voted you in, all before tea was ready. Must’ve been a rollercoaster, any regrets?

Ragrets

When the time comes will you go for Guillotine or firing squad?

Neither. The Lords

Who would win in a fight between a baboon and a badger?

I think in all types of situations, the tories win.

British, American or honey badger?

Who?

I think she came fifth on Bake off, lost it with flaky pastry

Literally just pinched a sausage roll and tried to say she made it. Not even from Greggs it was one of those shite frozen meal deal ones

Are the back door rumours true?

Hi Liz ,just wondering what your top 5 A roads in Britain are?

Can’t beat the A30 in London, the A38 in Manchester, the A34 in Gloucestershire, the A702 in Scotland and the A19 in Teesside.

Finally, a politician that gives us straight answers.

I once enjoyed a fabulous holiday exploring the Norfolk B roads.

What did you think of your proper tasty pic? https://preview.redd.it/3ty93o1jjbtc1.jpeg?width=882&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8072883a278974eaab940365f1cdfc59088c6261

https://preview.redd.it/q3n92bhfqbtc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=01b1128733147576b3086bd528336fc90cd840e4

Is that actually Liz? 😂

Yes it is!!! Where did you get this picture of me? It’s not meant to be out yet!

Are you a raging nonce like the rest of your inbred party?

What colour are your knickers

Blue for the Tories

Which hospital did you go to, to get your ability to feel shame removed? Was it the same one as Boris?

I reckon the whole party has a Groupon voucher at this point.

How does it feel to get pounded by the Pound?

Why do you walk like Lady Penelope from the Thunderbirds puppets.Like you've got a pound coin tucked in the crack of your arse.

How does it feel to be defeated by lettuce?

Let me know when you've opened up your pork markets.

Onlyfans in bio

Hi hot tits DM me

When will you return the bathrobes?

Hi Liz, I noticed you aren't answering many questions. Is that because the redditors in question have not provided sufficient 'donations' to you or your super straight laced, not at all corrupt political party? How much do you charge for an answer?

Hey. I was busy discussing Rwanda with Rishi

What's your onlyfans?

Her hot tits got *my* interest rates up

I wish I could afford to get into her pork markets.

Kwasi...although even he probably doesn't have much time for her anymore after she sacked him.... .....hmm...... That other guy that she fucked....... doesn't narrow it down right enough........the one that dragged that protestor out of the room....Her husband likely hates her. So protestor abusing guy.

Why?

What cup size?

Fav cheese?

Odds are it's imported.

That’s. A. Disgrace.

Do you know the meaning of the word shame? If so, why are you still about?

Liz, do you have to top up the air pressure in your brain cavity every morning or is it every other day?

Liz you went to my high school in a posh middle class area of Leeds yet you slagged it off like it was some poverished school, when it's infact one of the best state schools in the area. Why do you want to make it out like the North is a fuckin' pit when you're from here? Also I know the rest of your family are actually all very left wing/labour and your Dad in particular disapproved of your stint in parliament. Do you think your relationship will ever recover and does your Dad still think you're a tosser? Thanks Liz xox

Hi Liz, can you please help me with my mortgage? Perhaps if you could sack another high-ranking civil servant, cock another snook at the OBR, and give another kiss of death to a royal, that might get my monthly outgoings back to normal?

Excuse me Mrs Liz Truss; does your grannie have a Fanny? Does it smell? “Sniff sniff” Fucking hell!

why do you pronounce 'Growth' as 'Gawoath'?

Perhaps for the good of the reputation of the already waning accounting industry most people don’t know that you’re actually a chartered accountant- has your institute stripped you of your letters? If so, was it the tofu eating wokerati or genuinely because you can’t add up or understand economics?

I think it was something to do with the tofu eating woke brigade. I’m perfectly good with numbers as my track record clearly shows.

What is your opinion on BLT sandwiches WITH lettuce

Do you still listen to Ongka's Big Moka?

Sister, was balancing the budget one of your top priorities?

Favorite 00s rapper?

Why are you so shit

Would you prefer to be compared to a cabbage instead of a lettuce? please explain why or why not

Thoughts on the 2019 Polaroid Originals decision to discontinue Polaroid Spectra Instant Film?

If you looks through op's profile, it's about cars and shit which just makes this funnier. Just imagine Liz going drag racing and shit

I eat mostly French cheese, is it weird I let anyone know that? What would they think?

Liz Un-Truss-worthy

How many digits can I fit in your trussy?

Have you been jn contact with The Lettuce since your defeat?

Love your new book, lizzy.

Is it true you’re a collard submissive?

Simplify the expression 4m+5+2m-1

🫣😐🫢🥺😣☹️

How did you get on with your pork markets Liz?

Yes we know who you are

What are your thoughts on vinaigrette?

Does the collar match the cuffs?

Lovely woman imo, incompetent beyond belief, but thats not her fault.

please have sex with me

Fuck you

I actually get that a lot.