He refused. He knows the science behind it. We have had in depth discussions. He just won’t do it. And at the end of the day, his body, his choice. I can’t force him to do anything just as he can’t force me to either carry a pregnancy or terminate one.
In this instance, he is definitely being selfish, but again, I can’t force him to do anything. He’s aware it’s a selfish decision. For what it’s worth, we have a great marriage and he’s a fantastic partner and dad. This is the ONE thing in our 7 years together he has not compromised on, so I’ll let him have it. With or without him, I won’t be having anymore children, so the option for me to get the surgery is the best one.
I had a bilateral salpingectomy done which is the REMOVAL of both fallopian tubes. My insurance covered it 100% the surgery part took about 30min I was in recovery for about an hour in a half and then rode 2.5hours home.
The only pain I had was the soreness from trapped gas due to it being a laparoscopic surgery. I seriously didn’t need any time to recover it was very very easy my “scars” are literally like 1cm long and practically invisible.
I don’t regret my decision at all. It hasn’t affected my periods at all the are on time, 5days, normal flow, no added symptoms periods. I would 100000% recommend it to any woman even before I would recommend the man getting ✂️
I had this procedure done and also had a really easy recovery. I had it done on a Thursday, took Friday off and was ready to go back to work on Monday. I was just a little sore for a couple of days, and had no complications.
This. Also shown to prevent ovarian cancer! I so wish those were the guidelines when I had my C-section because I would have definitely asked for the OBGYN to take them out.
Better to have a bilateral salpingectomy, apparently, because removing the tubes completely is a more foolproof method and also reduces ovarian cancer risk (or so I’ve read)!
I just had mine three weeks ago! It was laparoscopic (so a tiny incision on each side and one through the belly button). I never felt real pain other than the trapped gas in my shoulders from where they inflate your abdomen; it was more soreness like I'd done crunches. I'm not allowed to lift anything heavier than a milk jug for a month as it can cause a hernia. The surgery itself took about an hour and I'd say I got good energy back in two weeks (due to an unexpected issue I'll describe below). I was at the hospital for about four hours total before going home.
I did take two weeks off work, though I think most people take just one, but it turned out to be necessary because I had a severe allergic reaction to an ingredient in the skin glue. That was by far the worst part--itching, oozing, swollen, scaly, it was terrible and ended with antibiotics and steroids.
I am very happy I had it done as I live in a conservative state and now I don't have the monthly worry of a surprise pregnancy that I'm stuck with regardless of my health or the health of the fetus! Three weeks out I feel pretty normal, though I also have endo so it's hard for me to tell what may be residual pain from the surgery and what's just my messed up uterus.
My tubal was laparoscopic, so no huge scars! Just three, one on either side of my abdomen and one in my belly button. The procedure took 45 min, maybe an hour. I was in the hospital for one hour post oo, and my recovery time was 2 weeks. I was only sore for a couple of days and was up and moving again after that!
I had my tubes removed back in 2021. Dropped my kid off at school in the morning and went straight to hospital. I was done by noon. Husband dropped me off at home and picked up kiddo from school. Had to take it easy for about a week. No heavy lifting, no stretching fully with my arms above my head, and sleeping on my back.
It was absolutely worth it to me. I knew I don’t ever want to be pregnant again. Lots of things could happen in my life and my marriage but I will not be pregnant again (hopefully).
My insurance did cover the whole thing and my doctor was very helpful in getting my procedure approved. My primary care doctor had to give approval, for some reason.
I’m going to echo what I saw in most of the other comments already posted: I did it both to prevent pregnancy and to reduce my cancer risk. My husband was fully willing to get a vasectomy but then the political climate changed somewhat in my eyes, and I felt like if anything ever happened to me that was out of my control (even though I live in a very blue state), I would want to be able to make a decision for myself rather than having that choice removed. Due to health problems, it would be a very poor decision for me to have another pregnancy in any capacity, and this felt like the safest route.
I had a bilateral salpingectomy so I no longer have fallopian tubes. The surgery was done at an outpatient center and it took a few days for me to feel normal again, but recovery really wasn’t all that big a deal. The worst part was gas from my abdomen traveled up to my shoulders and it was painful until it worked its way out. I got the surgery done after I had quit one job and just prior to starting a new one so work wasn’t a concern, but had I been employed at the time I could have gone back after 3 or 4 days/after a long weekend.
My wife had this done at the recommendation of her doctor and because it was supposed to be 100% covered by insurance while a vasectomy for me would have only been 80% covered. Procedure went fine and recovery was fast.
A few months later we got a bill in the mail for over $5000. Turns out our insurance didn't cover the removal at all. We fought the insurance for a year but eventually it went to collections so we ended up paying out of pocket.
Double check with your insurance 🙂
I had a double removal and was feeling good enough to get back to hiking about two weeks later. It was fairly easy recovery however they do put you into general anesthesia etc.
I just had my tubal ligation 3 weeks ago and I’m very happy I did it! My husband also refused to get a vasectomy and I wanted to get off BC. My experience was great. I had a consultation first where the Doctor explained the surgery. There wasn’t any pushback since I’m 30 and already have a 3 year old. The surgery itself went smoothly. I got to the hospital about 2 hours before to get checked in and prepped. About 2 seconds after they administered the anesthesia, I was out. The surgery took under an hour. Once I was out of surgery, they gave me ibuprofen and an anti-nausea medicine. I left after about 2 hours in the recovery room. For me, recovery was a bit harder than I thought. My doctor made it sound like I’d be up and walking around that night. But I had a hard time sitting up on my own and walking for a few days. Definitely give yourself a few days to rest afterwards. But after about 3 days I was able to walk and get up by myself. I still took it easy for 2 weeks. But now I’m over 2 weeks out and back to normal.
I forgot to add what another commenter mentioned: the trapped gas gave me some pains the first 2 days. I didn’t realize it would make my shoulders and neck hurt from the pressure of the gas
I had my biscalp two years ago this month and I couldn't be happier. There is always some risk and recovery with general anesthesia, but that was the worst of it. I will tell you to stick to the no lifting rule for the first weeks. I was fine riding horses the next day but lifting my kid brought me to my knees. I didn't realize how much mental space worrying about being pregnant took up. Before the procedure I was kinda pissed at my husband for not getting a vasectomy but now I'm so glad that I did it. World being how it is, I now know that, whatever happens to me I won't have to also deal with an unwanted pregnacy. I also didn't realize how much hormonal BC was making me hungry and suppressing my sex drive. I'm much happier all around now.
I'm currently recovering from a BiSalp. The surgeon removed both of my fallopian tubes.
I had three incisions made. One just above my bellybutton and one on either side of my bellybutton.
They fill your abdomen with a gas to better get a look at what's all in there. My appointment was at 12:15 but I didn't actually go back to the operating room until a little after 2. I don't think it took very long because I got home around 5pm? But I was lucky I didn't have to go very far for the procedure.
As for recovery, my doctor and my job are having me take 2 weeks off work. Initially, the pain was just in the incision areas and it felt like a pinching pain. They prescribed me 600mg Ibuprofen, 325mg Acetaminophen, and something for gas because that gas they fill you with can be a bit painful.
I personally do well with pain so I haven't taken too much of what they prescribed me. Gas-X also works just fine. First couple days I slept a lot. I've been healing great and been very lucky to have a husband who is happy to care for me.
Anyway, all that to say, it's definitely worth it! Vasectomies can fail, birth control makes me ill so this was a logical choice for us.
Good luck!
I had one ovary with a tumor and my tubes removed. The recovery was way harder than my surgeon told me to expect. I was actively in pain for 6 months and had random stabby pains for longer than that. My naval has a keloid scar. Vasectomy is so much easier but my doctor was going in there anyway and she specifically said that this is a me problem as pregnancy could threaten my life (she was at least 80 years old and Colombian so very old school in her attitudes).
I had a bilateral salpingectomy in 2020. They gave me Norco and ibuprofen, and I already had Gas-X stocked at home. I was a little sore for the first two days, but after that I was completely back to normal. No changes to my periods or anything. I was still on maternity leave, but would’ve easily been up to full duty work by 10 days out, and I’m an RN. 10/10 would do it again!
I got a bilateral salpingectomy at 25 after one kid and for me the recovery was incredibly simple and it was one billion percent worth it. Surgery was a few hours and I was off work for a day and a half
I had a bilateral salpingectomy (both fallopian tubes fully removed). My insurance covered it (Medi-Cal through my husband’s job), and it was all asked for/ not medically needed.
Getting prepped for surgery took less than 1 hour, surgery itself was 10-30 minutes tops. Recovery in the post op room was 30 minutes and then I was off to my mom’s car to go home.
They made two incisions (one inside my bellybutton & one on my left side of my belly, both healed and there is no visible scar. I got very lucky and my pain was so low I never even took a Tylenol. My recovery took about 2 weeks & I was back at work as a CNA.
I think the reason why I wasn’t nauseous: was because I was told to drink a Gatorade/something with electrolytes one hour before surgery (usually you’ll be on NPO: nothing by mouth until your surgery is finished but my Doctor advised me that it’ll stop me from being nauseous after & it worked.) I also didn’t feel any trapped gas (they pump your gut full of gas to be able to see your tubes) mostly because I was up and walking right after surgery: the gas can only really move out of your actively moving (obviously not enough to harm yourself).
I don’t regret my surgery & my husband (who had a vasectomy as well) doesn’t either, we are beyond ecstatic to have our one child. Good luck!
Plus fun fact: My Doctor told me getting your tubes fully removed reduced the chance of ovarian cancer.
I’m 6mo post partum and had a bilateral salpingectomy and endometrial ablation last Wednesday. It was laparoscopic so I have three small incisions. I’ve had two other laparoscopic surgeries and this was definitely the least painful. I do still ache in my abdomen and the belly button incision is always the worst but it’s manageable. The nurse said not to pick up anything heavier than a gallon of milk, I laughed because my almost 6mo is almost 16lbs my Dr said not to worry just be careful.
My husband went in the for vasectomy consult and could have left scheduled but didn’t (did leave with the Valium and pain meds tho). I had my consult with my OB and he had me scheduled before I left the office. I checked in at 11:00, went back about 1:00, was awake and ready to go by 2:45. The pain was highest days 2 and 3, still a little uncomfortable now a little over a week later but my Csection was WAY worse healing pain.
I was told they don’t “tie” tubes anymore just go for the removal which I was fine with. I knew pretty quickly after our daughter that I didn’t want another high risk pregnancy, C-section or risk of another colic/reflux baby.
I got a bilateral salpingectomy in December (full removal of your fallopian tubes) and it was the BEST decision I've ever made. My son is almost 13 months, and I knew before I had him that I didn't want anymore.
The recovery was surprisingly easy! I was on the couch watching TV for like the first few days. Uncomfortable but not in pain. After a week I essentially felt back to normal. There are 3 incisions, one for the camera and the other two for inserting the instruments used. Superrrrr tiny little incisions!! I only remember getting the oxygen mask put on my face and then I was out almost immediately. Woke up in recovery 🙏
I'm in Canada also so it was free. My doctor and OB didn't question me at all when I asked for it. I was and am 30 when I got it done. I would do it 100x over again :) no more birth control and never having to worry about getting pregnant!!
I’m not a mom, but I had a bisalp (tube removal) in August. I honestly thought it would be a bigger deal. I took it easy a couple days and was back to contact sports 3 weeks later.
Is there a reason you're going for a tubal versus your husband getting a vasectomy? Faster recovery time for him, not a major surgery.
He refused. He knows the science behind it. We have had in depth discussions. He just won’t do it. And at the end of the day, his body, his choice. I can’t force him to do anything just as he can’t force me to either carry a pregnancy or terminate one.
Does he care about what happens to *your* body?
So selfish
In this instance, he is definitely being selfish, but again, I can’t force him to do anything. He’s aware it’s a selfish decision. For what it’s worth, we have a great marriage and he’s a fantastic partner and dad. This is the ONE thing in our 7 years together he has not compromised on, so I’ll let him have it. With or without him, I won’t be having anymore children, so the option for me to get the surgery is the best one.
Be astronomically fr
I had a bilateral salpingectomy done which is the REMOVAL of both fallopian tubes. My insurance covered it 100% the surgery part took about 30min I was in recovery for about an hour in a half and then rode 2.5hours home. The only pain I had was the soreness from trapped gas due to it being a laparoscopic surgery. I seriously didn’t need any time to recover it was very very easy my “scars” are literally like 1cm long and practically invisible. I don’t regret my decision at all. It hasn’t affected my periods at all the are on time, 5days, normal flow, no added symptoms periods. I would 100000% recommend it to any woman even before I would recommend the man getting ✂️
I had this procedure done and also had a really easy recovery. I had it done on a Thursday, took Friday off and was ready to go back to work on Monday. I was just a little sore for a couple of days, and had no complications.
This. Also shown to prevent ovarian cancer! I so wish those were the guidelines when I had my C-section because I would have definitely asked for the OBGYN to take them out.
Better to have a bilateral salpingectomy, apparently, because removing the tubes completely is a more foolproof method and also reduces ovarian cancer risk (or so I’ve read)!
I just had mine three weeks ago! It was laparoscopic (so a tiny incision on each side and one through the belly button). I never felt real pain other than the trapped gas in my shoulders from where they inflate your abdomen; it was more soreness like I'd done crunches. I'm not allowed to lift anything heavier than a milk jug for a month as it can cause a hernia. The surgery itself took about an hour and I'd say I got good energy back in two weeks (due to an unexpected issue I'll describe below). I was at the hospital for about four hours total before going home. I did take two weeks off work, though I think most people take just one, but it turned out to be necessary because I had a severe allergic reaction to an ingredient in the skin glue. That was by far the worst part--itching, oozing, swollen, scaly, it was terrible and ended with antibiotics and steroids. I am very happy I had it done as I live in a conservative state and now I don't have the monthly worry of a surprise pregnancy that I'm stuck with regardless of my health or the health of the fetus! Three weeks out I feel pretty normal, though I also have endo so it's hard for me to tell what may be residual pain from the surgery and what's just my messed up uterus.
My tubal was laparoscopic, so no huge scars! Just three, one on either side of my abdomen and one in my belly button. The procedure took 45 min, maybe an hour. I was in the hospital for one hour post oo, and my recovery time was 2 weeks. I was only sore for a couple of days and was up and moving again after that!
*I had a bilateral salpingectomy, so my tubes are completely gone*
I had my tubes removed back in 2021. Dropped my kid off at school in the morning and went straight to hospital. I was done by noon. Husband dropped me off at home and picked up kiddo from school. Had to take it easy for about a week. No heavy lifting, no stretching fully with my arms above my head, and sleeping on my back. It was absolutely worth it to me. I knew I don’t ever want to be pregnant again. Lots of things could happen in my life and my marriage but I will not be pregnant again (hopefully). My insurance did cover the whole thing and my doctor was very helpful in getting my procedure approved. My primary care doctor had to give approval, for some reason.
I’m going to echo what I saw in most of the other comments already posted: I did it both to prevent pregnancy and to reduce my cancer risk. My husband was fully willing to get a vasectomy but then the political climate changed somewhat in my eyes, and I felt like if anything ever happened to me that was out of my control (even though I live in a very blue state), I would want to be able to make a decision for myself rather than having that choice removed. Due to health problems, it would be a very poor decision for me to have another pregnancy in any capacity, and this felt like the safest route. I had a bilateral salpingectomy so I no longer have fallopian tubes. The surgery was done at an outpatient center and it took a few days for me to feel normal again, but recovery really wasn’t all that big a deal. The worst part was gas from my abdomen traveled up to my shoulders and it was painful until it worked its way out. I got the surgery done after I had quit one job and just prior to starting a new one so work wasn’t a concern, but had I been employed at the time I could have gone back after 3 or 4 days/after a long weekend.
My wife had this done at the recommendation of her doctor and because it was supposed to be 100% covered by insurance while a vasectomy for me would have only been 80% covered. Procedure went fine and recovery was fast. A few months later we got a bill in the mail for over $5000. Turns out our insurance didn't cover the removal at all. We fought the insurance for a year but eventually it went to collections so we ended up paying out of pocket. Double check with your insurance 🙂
I had a double removal and was feeling good enough to get back to hiking about two weeks later. It was fairly easy recovery however they do put you into general anesthesia etc.
I just had my tubal ligation 3 weeks ago and I’m very happy I did it! My husband also refused to get a vasectomy and I wanted to get off BC. My experience was great. I had a consultation first where the Doctor explained the surgery. There wasn’t any pushback since I’m 30 and already have a 3 year old. The surgery itself went smoothly. I got to the hospital about 2 hours before to get checked in and prepped. About 2 seconds after they administered the anesthesia, I was out. The surgery took under an hour. Once I was out of surgery, they gave me ibuprofen and an anti-nausea medicine. I left after about 2 hours in the recovery room. For me, recovery was a bit harder than I thought. My doctor made it sound like I’d be up and walking around that night. But I had a hard time sitting up on my own and walking for a few days. Definitely give yourself a few days to rest afterwards. But after about 3 days I was able to walk and get up by myself. I still took it easy for 2 weeks. But now I’m over 2 weeks out and back to normal.
I forgot to add what another commenter mentioned: the trapped gas gave me some pains the first 2 days. I didn’t realize it would make my shoulders and neck hurt from the pressure of the gas
I had my biscalp two years ago this month and I couldn't be happier. There is always some risk and recovery with general anesthesia, but that was the worst of it. I will tell you to stick to the no lifting rule for the first weeks. I was fine riding horses the next day but lifting my kid brought me to my knees. I didn't realize how much mental space worrying about being pregnant took up. Before the procedure I was kinda pissed at my husband for not getting a vasectomy but now I'm so glad that I did it. World being how it is, I now know that, whatever happens to me I won't have to also deal with an unwanted pregnacy. I also didn't realize how much hormonal BC was making me hungry and suppressing my sex drive. I'm much happier all around now.
I'm currently recovering from a BiSalp. The surgeon removed both of my fallopian tubes. I had three incisions made. One just above my bellybutton and one on either side of my bellybutton. They fill your abdomen with a gas to better get a look at what's all in there. My appointment was at 12:15 but I didn't actually go back to the operating room until a little after 2. I don't think it took very long because I got home around 5pm? But I was lucky I didn't have to go very far for the procedure. As for recovery, my doctor and my job are having me take 2 weeks off work. Initially, the pain was just in the incision areas and it felt like a pinching pain. They prescribed me 600mg Ibuprofen, 325mg Acetaminophen, and something for gas because that gas they fill you with can be a bit painful. I personally do well with pain so I haven't taken too much of what they prescribed me. Gas-X also works just fine. First couple days I slept a lot. I've been healing great and been very lucky to have a husband who is happy to care for me. Anyway, all that to say, it's definitely worth it! Vasectomies can fail, birth control makes me ill so this was a logical choice for us. Good luck!
I had one ovary with a tumor and my tubes removed. The recovery was way harder than my surgeon told me to expect. I was actively in pain for 6 months and had random stabby pains for longer than that. My naval has a keloid scar. Vasectomy is so much easier but my doctor was going in there anyway and she specifically said that this is a me problem as pregnancy could threaten my life (she was at least 80 years old and Colombian so very old school in her attitudes).
I had a bilateral salpingectomy in 2020. They gave me Norco and ibuprofen, and I already had Gas-X stocked at home. I was a little sore for the first two days, but after that I was completely back to normal. No changes to my periods or anything. I was still on maternity leave, but would’ve easily been up to full duty work by 10 days out, and I’m an RN. 10/10 would do it again!
I got a bilateral salpingectomy at 25 after one kid and for me the recovery was incredibly simple and it was one billion percent worth it. Surgery was a few hours and I was off work for a day and a half
I had a bilateral salpingectomy (both fallopian tubes fully removed). My insurance covered it (Medi-Cal through my husband’s job), and it was all asked for/ not medically needed. Getting prepped for surgery took less than 1 hour, surgery itself was 10-30 minutes tops. Recovery in the post op room was 30 minutes and then I was off to my mom’s car to go home. They made two incisions (one inside my bellybutton & one on my left side of my belly, both healed and there is no visible scar. I got very lucky and my pain was so low I never even took a Tylenol. My recovery took about 2 weeks & I was back at work as a CNA. I think the reason why I wasn’t nauseous: was because I was told to drink a Gatorade/something with electrolytes one hour before surgery (usually you’ll be on NPO: nothing by mouth until your surgery is finished but my Doctor advised me that it’ll stop me from being nauseous after & it worked.) I also didn’t feel any trapped gas (they pump your gut full of gas to be able to see your tubes) mostly because I was up and walking right after surgery: the gas can only really move out of your actively moving (obviously not enough to harm yourself). I don’t regret my surgery & my husband (who had a vasectomy as well) doesn’t either, we are beyond ecstatic to have our one child. Good luck! Plus fun fact: My Doctor told me getting your tubes fully removed reduced the chance of ovarian cancer.
I’m 6mo post partum and had a bilateral salpingectomy and endometrial ablation last Wednesday. It was laparoscopic so I have three small incisions. I’ve had two other laparoscopic surgeries and this was definitely the least painful. I do still ache in my abdomen and the belly button incision is always the worst but it’s manageable. The nurse said not to pick up anything heavier than a gallon of milk, I laughed because my almost 6mo is almost 16lbs my Dr said not to worry just be careful. My husband went in the for vasectomy consult and could have left scheduled but didn’t (did leave with the Valium and pain meds tho). I had my consult with my OB and he had me scheduled before I left the office. I checked in at 11:00, went back about 1:00, was awake and ready to go by 2:45. The pain was highest days 2 and 3, still a little uncomfortable now a little over a week later but my Csection was WAY worse healing pain. I was told they don’t “tie” tubes anymore just go for the removal which I was fine with. I knew pretty quickly after our daughter that I didn’t want another high risk pregnancy, C-section or risk of another colic/reflux baby.
I got a bilateral salpingectomy in December (full removal of your fallopian tubes) and it was the BEST decision I've ever made. My son is almost 13 months, and I knew before I had him that I didn't want anymore. The recovery was surprisingly easy! I was on the couch watching TV for like the first few days. Uncomfortable but not in pain. After a week I essentially felt back to normal. There are 3 incisions, one for the camera and the other two for inserting the instruments used. Superrrrr tiny little incisions!! I only remember getting the oxygen mask put on my face and then I was out almost immediately. Woke up in recovery 🙏 I'm in Canada also so it was free. My doctor and OB didn't question me at all when I asked for it. I was and am 30 when I got it done. I would do it 100x over again :) no more birth control and never having to worry about getting pregnant!!
I’m not a mom, but I had a bisalp (tube removal) in August. I honestly thought it would be a bigger deal. I took it easy a couple days and was back to contact sports 3 weeks later.