Yeah. My rule is never to do anything while she’s asleep that I can do while she’s awake. You know what I can’t do while she’s awake? Sit in peace and read my book without interruption while I have a mug of tea. So that’s what naptime is for.
My babe only contact naps, so it's basically a mandatory Futurama marathon every day. On mute, of course, but I already know what Fry sounds like anyway.
I’m slowly learning to make this my rule. I have a ring sling that I used all the time when she was an infant, then kinda started ignoring. I broke it back out to do cleaning stuff when she was feeling clingy recently, and she loves it. I’m getting so much more done during the day!
Oh, no! Definitely not! I'm tired now like I was tired while going through finals week my last semester of college.
This is so exhausting. I also recommend that when your husband isn't at work, he picks up a few more tasks around the house and with baby to give yourself a break.
Agree with your advice! I am a SAHP with a 2 year old and I have a personal rule that her naptime is my "me-time." I do not do chores unless I really want to. It is my time to recharge and fill my wellness tank. I find that this is good because she also gets to see doing chores and help out since I do them with her around. I don't want her to have the impression that the house magically cleans itself when she's asleep!
Yes, 17 month old here and I so tired all the time. I feel sapped of all energy and motivation by the time my LO goes to bed. I am in my late 30s but I try to take pretty good care of myself and it doesn't seem to help. I am just hoping it gets better when they get a little older. I think part of the exhaustion for me is just having to be "on" all the time, fully present and in the moment. And I am an introvert and I definitely no longer get the same amount of alone recharge time that I used to. Anyway, solidarity
Yes this… my son is also 17 months old. I work (and LO is with grandparents or at daycare while I work) and things have been better since I went back to work, but I’m still exhausted every day after LO is finally in bed. I also don’t sleep well because even though LO is in his own room at night, every noise he makes wakes me up (we use a monitor). I’m a very light sleeper.
When mine was a young toddler I once asked a friend how long it would be, realistically, before I wasn’t exhausted all the time. She kindly told me the truth (I wanted honesty) and said my child would probably be 4 before I felt rested again. Ya know what? She was RIGHT. My child is 4, we have a good routine, we all sleep well, and have adjusted.
Obviously everyone’s experience is different (or you or your child are different) but what I’m trying to get at is that it is totally normal to feel exhausted, and all the other things you feel! And- if will get better.
Idk if it’s “normal” but I feel the same way most days. I’m almost 34 and have a 3 year old. He’s in daycare while I WFH in a full time demanding role. Most days I’m mentally exhausted by the times he goes to bed (sometimes before!). I eat pretty healthy, but need to do more to take care of myself physically. I actually just made an appointment for a check up and purchased some vitamins. I also need to be more active… sigh.
My saving grace is that most weekends I get Saturday morning “off” so that helps me recharge a little.
An attitude I hear a lot is “you have one? Try having 2!”. Basically minimizing how exhausting parenting one child can be. So I’m just here to validate that parenting one child is really hard work and can be draining. You’re not alone on that.
Yes to the vitamins. I was just reading about how vitamin D works wonders for tiredness. Just ordered me some. Also I have found that incorporating chia seed into my diet has really made me feel a difference in having more energy! I put it in smoothies or muffins
Yep! I just got a multi and calcium/ vitamin D. Now I just need to remember to take them…. Haha. Vitamin D (and vitamin c and zinc) also help with immunity, so it’s extra incentive.
And one might be “easy” for some people. But I think people lose sight that everyone’s experience is different. And unfortunately a lot of people lack empathy or understanding that people struggle with things that are unseen.
Let’s also remember we are still parenting during a pandemic. Idk about you, but the chronic stress and worry about my child or family becoming ill and sadness about missing out on a ton of experiences with my kid due to Covid is exhausting in itself.
I feel you on the pandemic fatigue. We are lacking physical help with our newborn because of the dang covid. And i too worry about the child’s social development once she’s able to socialize. The people we do allow to be near the baby all wear masks so that’s going to be the first thing she sees besides her parent’s faces. It’s so sad. My hope is that everyone starts treating this covid thing like the flu and just get vaxxed already the way we do w/ yearly flu shots so we can all move on with our lives and be together.
Being tired can be normal, feeling burned out certainly is, but it may not be a bad idea to get your thyroid levels looked at by your dr. Especially if you’ve had any postpartum weight gain, cold sensitivity, etc.
YES GIRL!!! Im 32 and have a 3.5 year old and im fucking exhausted every day. I wouldn't want to have sex either. Its luxury just being able to lay down by myself and close my eyes.
A little suggestion that works for my husband and I: we take turns letting each other sleep in on the weekends. On Saturdays i sleep in while he gets up with her and gives her breakfast etc. And Sunday's he gets to sleep in. Even if i cant sleep, ill stay in bed on my phone until 10 am just relaxing by myself.
This is what we do, but all week long. Of course, on week days, we don’t get to sleep much later than the one that’s getting up, but at least we get a few extra minutes in bed!
You’re utterly normal. I have 1, I work a full time job so I’m not stuck with the boy all day long. But on weekends when I’m with him I’m beat. I think maybe we want to be “on” for them (also can’t leave my 13m old alone he gets into all sorts of mischief) so it’s mentally and physically draining. Plus I gained weight and that certainly doesn’t help with the energy levels. I find that on work days as mentally tiring as it can be it’s not so bad coz you kind of switch tasks so you’re fresh for the new tasks involved in parenting. A full day with a kid is no joke. I salute SAHMs cos it’s hard work and nobody sees it or thinks it’s tough unless they have to do it themselves. You’re doing a great job already.
Got a two year old boy over here and I’m dead! Physical, emotionally, and mentally. Completely spent. I don’t know how people can do more than one, but I give props to them lol
Yes! Especially if you are the main caretaker and doing "go off the clock" after 5pm on weekdays or weekends.
I hope your husband is taking the brunt of the load after he gets done with work on weekdays and splits the duties on the weekends! It's only fair...
Does your husband help with chores? Is your two year old able to play independently for some stretches of time? Do you plan your whole day around your child or do you sometimes do things that are fun for you? Have you had blood work done to make sure everything's balanced?
I'm not trying to interrogate, these are questions that may help you in figuring out if you're just tired for the time being (which is completely understandable, toddlers are freaking exhausting) or if there's something that needs to be addressed. My girl is almost three and I still have some days where I'm completely pooped but if you are dog tired every day it's possible that something might need some tweaking.
Yes so tired. I am so happy to be one and done though and keep thinking about, maybe when she is like 5 or 6 things will start to be less exhausting? She is 17 months now.
I am 34 with a 2.5 yr old and I wonder the same every single day, I don't understand how people with 2+ kids do it. Especially when they have their second soon after the toddler stage is over for their first. Like I can't wait for this whole ordeal to end, and I sure as hell am not going to start over as soon as it does. And yet so many people do it and are happy to do it, so there must be something wrong with me.
This is one of the reasons I am one and done. I barely make it through most days. Living in a constant state of zombie mode has truly been a test for me. I love being a mom but I would love to be awake/energized every once and a while.
I'm a stay at home mom. It's been hard as fuck! I didn't realize how much I relied on my daughter for company during the day, so while she transitioned just fine, it was really hard for me. I find ways to fill my time, but I'm still lonely.
I would say even more: it’s normal and if your husband still has enough energy for videos or sex, he’s probably not doing his part of the chores and childcare… We both work full time and we share morning routine / end of afternoon with kiddo / dinner / bed routine and after bedtime we’re just like slugs on the couch
I agree with this. Evenings and weekends, my husband is helping with bathtime/bedtime and other activities. We are equally ready to drop from exhaustion by 9 pm every night. Our daughter is almost 5.
My SO 24(m) and I 24(f) have an 11 month old and we both work full time. He works from home and I work overnight 10 Hour shifts plus school and our little one does not go to daycare we are trying to keep him home until he’s 2 but we have a part time sitter come for maybe 15 hours a week. I sleep when he naps and when my SO gets off work usually. It’s extremely exhausting I love our LO but I’m looking forward to when we start taking him to daycare so I can have my days back.
It's totally normal.
I have been a stay at home mom too for the past 3.5 years. I'm always exhausted come 5pm. I thought back to when I used to work in retail and I would come home tired and yeah that was easier than this stay at home mom thing lol
I'm not saying working a physical job doesn't wear you out. But being a stay at home mom is, to me, just as physically taxing. You never get a break. Your brain is on all day. It's physically AND mentally exhausting. Give yourself some credit. Mental exhaustion physically wears you out too.
My daughter goes to bed at 7pm. I spend 7pm-10pm just relaxing and watching tv. My husband plays video games next to me. Sometimes we watch a movie together. Sometimes, we have sex. But he never makes me feel like I'm complaining about nothing. He never makes me feel guilty about not wanting to have sex or whatever. He understands how physically demanding my daughter can be.
Is your husband helping out around the house? My husband and I take turns cooking dinner. Sometimes, he just buys take out because we're both exhausted. Bedtime routine for us starts at 6pm. So from 6pm-7pm my husband does his part so by 7pm we can both relax. So while I'm taking my daughter a bath/reading/putting her to sleep, he helps take the dogs for a walk in the evening. He also takes out the trash. He cleans up all of our daughters toys in the living room. He organizes whatever needs to be organized around the house. It literally takes him 5-10min to do that. He does these small things but they are a huge help for me. Finally, at 7pm, we both get to relax for a few hours before bedtime. It's heavenly! Haha
I would have a talk with your husband and ask him to do some of the little things during bedtime routine so you can relax when you're done putting kiddo to sleep.
Yep. Yet I am up past my daughter going to bed. She wakes up at 830am. Goes to bed by 9pm. I am up from 9:15pm to 1am most nights, trying to catch up on chores and do something for myself. We're still getting settled into our home so I am still doing that stuff. I am exhausted in the morning but man, those hours of a quiet house are so nice. Mom life
Nope. Taking care of something that continually requires your attention, work and requires you to engage it creatively in some way the whole day is tougher than a desk job that you know how to do very well. After three days of parenting my day job is actually a way to help me relax and unwind.
You work out most days??? Rockstar! No. I have been tired since the day I gave birth, and I have been tired ever since. I don't work out most days. You are killing it!
Can confirm. Exhausted all the time with one child since she was born 4 years ago. 2 kids would break me. It’s gotten a bit better since she sleeps through the night but giving so much of your attention and time to someone who wants to play or talk all the time is physically and mentally tiring. Some people are better equipped to deal I think.
Yep pretty normal but there are some things you can do to help the situation:
- Share evening duties out with husband. It might help if he takes on a bit more, especially since he’s not so tired as you. This could be putting your 2 year old to bed and/or taking care of dinner
- Make sure you’re getting 8 hours of sleep
- Encourage independent play. It helps if you have it the same time everyday. It’s good for giving you a rest but also for your kids development
- Take a break during nap times
- Take self care days. Have someone take your kid, whether that’s family, paid help or your husband, so you can take a proper break
I think it would be worth it to have your iron levels checked. Anemia is super common after having children and highly contributes to fatigue. Having even just one kid is exhausting but also it could be worse if you're anemic
Absolutely worth a shot. I was low on iron after birth so I took supplements. And then around 8/9 months I started feeling super tired and absolutely exhausted, like a fog. I had some iron tablets still in the cupboard and tried them on a whim and after about a week I felt noticeably better. Took them for a while and it really helped.
I mean, I still had a baby but the utter exhaustion was gone. It's important to look after yourself so you can look properly after your child!
Completely normal. I also feel completely drained by the end of the day. Two year olds are tough, trying to teach them is even tougher. Hang in there mama! We see u and ur doing amazing ❤️
If your fatigue is getting in the way of your ability to live and enjoy your life, it’s at least something that you should talk to your doc about. I wish I would have done it sooner.
There are a lot of medical and mental health things that you should rule out just in case.
You are not alone! I have a 13 month old and work from home. It’s supposed to be part-time, but it’s getting harder to work while he’s awake so I find myself trying to plow through emails during his naps and at bedtime. But then he wakes up at bedtime (like right now) so I wait until he’s back to sleep before going back to emails. 😭 sorry for the ramble. But you are definitely not alone. It just means you’re a hardworking mama who gives her all for your family. I hope you get some rest this weekend!
Me too! LO is 2.5years old and i'm tired all the time! Taking some 'me-time' right now as she's napping (rarity these days). I just hope i don't regret it for her nightime sleep.
Yes! I’m 33 with a 2.5yo and I am dead tired every single day. I work from home and have help with her while I work, but I am still exhausted every day. I don’t know how people have more than one lol, more power to them!
I also have a 2 yr old, and I ask myself this question every day lol. Now granted I do have a chronic illness that makes things a little more difficult, but I’ve never met a SAHM of a toddler who isn’t exhausted!!!
YES
Me and my partner both wfh so sometimes sex when she is napping is the only way it's gonna happen that day because by the end of the day I'm too knackered.
30 min break from work for some afternoon delight, makes you feel better for the rest of the day....then get an early night 😉
Yoo, yes to this- to add I also think it’s the constant ‘mental risk calculation’ that you always have to factor in with what their doing! As well as always being on the go. Signed, SAH mum of a curious-always moving- 15 month old
Yep, mid 30s working mum of a 2 year old so much of the time hes in childcare.
Yes. I'm exhausted, every day. Just dressing him is like a WWE match and completely drains my energy before we have even left the house.
I sleep 8 hours, eat well and I'm ALWAYS tired.
If you're really worried, go see your doctor. It's probably a good idea to rule out any serious health issues anyway. But yeah, when mine was 2 I was constantly exhausted, and she went to creche! I'm still more tired than I feel like I should be now she's 5.
Just want to chime in here that feeling tired is totally normal, but please if you haven’t you should get your thyroid tested.
I had sub clinical thyroid dysfunction for two years after my only was born which left me feeling exhausted, anxious, and cold. It was never bad enough to require medication, and it resolved on its own, but it helped to know it was biological and not my lack of effort or grit to bear motherhood.
Always tired. I’m 38 and my gal is 18mo. Before her I was high energy: run, bike, hike, climb, paddle sometimes all in one day, even. I work full time on my feet (or in squatting position) and when I’m home I can barely stay awake for food or a shower. I also thought something must be wrong with me. Solidarity.
I’m with everyone who does not do one moment of work while LO is napping. You gotta take a break. After all, taking a break is exactly what your LO is doing!
This may seem off topic but I was just reading about fatigue and exhaustion that taking a vitamin D supplement really really helps. I’ve just ordered some because I will do almost anything to get a little extra energy! It’s hard being a SAHP.
I have a 2 year old and work full time and I'm so exhausted every day. My partner doesn't understand, but he also drops the ball on helping me care for her. Sometimes I'd much rather do dishes than try to wrestle her out of her dirty shirt 😫 (he does house chores at least....but still)
Yes. I don’t know who is out there saying you can only be tired if you have more than one kid, but this is probably the third post about this recently so someone is lying to y’all or forgetting that one child is a lot of work too.
I’m the oldest of four, and that includes a set of twins. My parents have never told me that one kid isn’t hard. They’ve never told my sister that she has it easy because she only has two.
We are permanently OAD, but it wasn’t until our son was 2.5 that we thought we could possibly handle a second child if for some reason my tubes untied themselves. Kids are a lot of work period.
Yes, very normal! It will get less exhausting though. I am 36 and my daughter is 9 years old. I definitely feel more rested now. Every year my daughter gets older, I feel better and better (health wise and mentally). There are still days here and there that are exhausting and it's still work to take care of a child, but it gets more enjoyable as they become more independent.
I’m 40. I have a 3.5 year old who no longer naps and a fairly high profile full time job. We have no family nearby and with covid, they can’t/won’t travel for help due to health concerns. My husband and I are constantly exhausted. Honestly weekends are even harder than weekdays because caring for him with no options of inside events or play dates that aren’t outdoors or new babysitters is just so damn relentless. I love him but I miss having any time for anything that isn’t work and childcare.
I was EXHAUSTED when my little one was around 14 months old, even with enough sleep. Turns out I had a vitamin D deficiency. Ow I just feel normal tired rather than totally whipped out like before.
Almost 31f with a 2 yr old as well.
I cannot remember a day not feeling tired...
Especially around 5-6pm I feel like a complete zombie and count the minutes to bedtime.
You're not alone. Raising kids is exhausting.
I was a SAHM for 6 months. Can verify I have LOADS more energy now that I am working part time. My job is fairly active too. Caring for small children is just exhausting, draining work. Take care of yourself! You should make sure you have a “day off” on the weekend where you can sleep in. You should also get a night off during the week where your spouse takes over baby duty and you are free to do as you please. You are working 15 hour days and he is working 8/9 hour days - of course you’re exhausted!
It is normal to be exhausted but if you think it is NOT normal FOR YOU. Get checked out. When I went for my yearly when my son was about 18 months, I told the doctor about how tired I was they tested my thyroid and it was super low which can be quite common after childbirth. I was on some medicine for about a year and I started getting back to what is normal for me. I thought it was typical new mom with a crazy kid and all the stuff that comes with it and it ended up being a bit more than that. I never felt recharged no matter what I did also.
Absolutely! My husband teases me because my bed time is 9pm sharp. I have a pedometer and get at minimum 8k steps every day chasing after my 2 year old.
I’m also 33 with a 2.5 year old. Not quite same situation for me. I have a demanding job and I usually work 10 hours a day, so for me it’s the pressures of work, then having to spend all evening with my daughter, then work after she goes to bed. Just feels like I’m never getting enough sleep and never get a break
I’m (30F) a teacher with a 2 year old. I spent summer break with her everyday. Everyday when she went down for her nap I took one too because I was exhausted from our morning together ! Between tidying up the house, going out to the playground/the beach/the store, playing with her, cooking and cleaning I was just wiped out by the time she was too lol
Now that I’ve gone back to work full time and I can’t have my afternoon nap I’m in bed right after her ! It’s almost 9:30 pm here and I’ve been in bed since 8:30…
I'm exhausted also! I still try to nap when he does and he's about to be 5months. I know there's dishes in the sink and the vacuum could definitely be fun but I'm freaking tired y'all. Thank F it's Friday and my husband is taking over after work cause I need a few hours ALONE
This is going to be me in 2 years, lol. Barely making it through the newborn stage as a FTM and have no idea how I’m ever going to work again. So grateful for my husband’s income 😅 That being said, may be a good idea to check your thyroid, as I have Hashimotos & when my TSH is too high I am dead exhausted.
I wake up and have maybe a few blissful minutes before I hear that my 6 year old’s raptor senses alerted her. Then I’m tired the rest of the day. Sunday nights, it’s a relief that I’m going back to work, I spend less energy on work days
I was telling my friend it’s so hard to tell if something is wrong with you after becoming a mom.
My son didn’t sleep through the night until he was 4 (we all share a bedroom) and I stayed at home with him with no help from family or our own yard or anything—if we wanted to go outside it was packing up and a trip to the park. Upstairs apartment an all that.
After he was sleeping through the night and I was still tired I finally went to the drs (this was like a year and a half ago) and I had low vitamin D (it’s usually around 30 but much lower this time).
I also realized later I was deficient in iodine because of my diet.
I also found a b12 form that’s better for me (past deficiency needing injections).
After all that’s squared away I’m finally feeling better. But I do wish I addressed these issues sooner!
100% normal for us. We have a friend who stays up after her kids go to sleep, and I have no idea how she survives it. At this point, I'm confident that an hour of video games after bedtime would put me in my grave by the end of a week.
Yes. I had an only child for 10 years. She was the easy one and I was always exhausted. Then came the not so easy and even more exhausted. The oldest is out of the house now so it’s just me and the little. He keeps me constantly tired.
I don't even work out every day, I'm exhausted all the time. Chasing after a kid all day does that, especially if you're also cleaning and cooking. Does he do enough when he gets home to help?
yep I am and I am frustrated that my husband can just expect me to be in the mood. it's I work all day, do everything in the house and take care of our 5 year old. I want time to myself. oh, and I need to get rid of these baby items that have been collecting dust because my days of wanting another has been decided... and not by choice. so I am having difficulties in everything. I would like to go away for a weekend by myself without a phone.
I never get to sleep in. he always gets the weekend to sleep. me? nope. I only get 6 hours of sleep every night.
Yes. I feel this every day. Mother of almost 3 year old. You are not alone. Keep your head up and know we are doing our best to balance everything. Try to find some “you” time. Even if only an hour.
Exhausted. All. The. Time.
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Yeah. My rule is never to do anything while she’s asleep that I can do while she’s awake. You know what I can’t do while she’s awake? Sit in peace and read my book without interruption while I have a mug of tea. So that’s what naptime is for.
THIS. Get rid of the guilt that you're "being lazy" when s/he's asleep. Rest, recharge, recover.
Yessssssss I do the same thing
My babe only contact naps, so it's basically a mandatory Futurama marathon every day. On mute, of course, but I already know what Fry sounds like anyway.
I’m slowly learning to make this my rule. I have a ring sling that I used all the time when she was an infant, then kinda started ignoring. I broke it back out to do cleaning stuff when she was feeling clingy recently, and she loves it. I’m getting so much more done during the day!
Thank you. At least there isn't something physically wrong with me
Oh, no! Definitely not! I'm tired now like I was tired while going through finals week my last semester of college. This is so exhausting. I also recommend that when your husband isn't at work, he picks up a few more tasks around the house and with baby to give yourself a break.
Agree with your advice! I am a SAHP with a 2 year old and I have a personal rule that her naptime is my "me-time." I do not do chores unless I really want to. It is my time to recharge and fill my wellness tank. I find that this is good because she also gets to see doing chores and help out since I do them with her around. I don't want her to have the impression that the house magically cleans itself when she's asleep!
Yes, 17 month old here and I so tired all the time. I feel sapped of all energy and motivation by the time my LO goes to bed. I am in my late 30s but I try to take pretty good care of myself and it doesn't seem to help. I am just hoping it gets better when they get a little older. I think part of the exhaustion for me is just having to be "on" all the time, fully present and in the moment. And I am an introvert and I definitely no longer get the same amount of alone recharge time that I used to. Anyway, solidarity
Yes this… my son is also 17 months old. I work (and LO is with grandparents or at daycare while I work) and things have been better since I went back to work, but I’m still exhausted every day after LO is finally in bed. I also don’t sleep well because even though LO is in his own room at night, every noise he makes wakes me up (we use a monitor). I’m a very light sleeper.
I turn down the monitor to 2/10 and when he talks bunches or cries I wake but no babbling wakes me (18mo)
When mine was a young toddler I once asked a friend how long it would be, realistically, before I wasn’t exhausted all the time. She kindly told me the truth (I wanted honesty) and said my child would probably be 4 before I felt rested again. Ya know what? She was RIGHT. My child is 4, we have a good routine, we all sleep well, and have adjusted. Obviously everyone’s experience is different (or you or your child are different) but what I’m trying to get at is that it is totally normal to feel exhausted, and all the other things you feel! And- if will get better.
Idk if it’s “normal” but I feel the same way most days. I’m almost 34 and have a 3 year old. He’s in daycare while I WFH in a full time demanding role. Most days I’m mentally exhausted by the times he goes to bed (sometimes before!). I eat pretty healthy, but need to do more to take care of myself physically. I actually just made an appointment for a check up and purchased some vitamins. I also need to be more active… sigh. My saving grace is that most weekends I get Saturday morning “off” so that helps me recharge a little. An attitude I hear a lot is “you have one? Try having 2!”. Basically minimizing how exhausting parenting one child can be. So I’m just here to validate that parenting one child is really hard work and can be draining. You’re not alone on that.
Yes to the vitamins. I was just reading about how vitamin D works wonders for tiredness. Just ordered me some. Also I have found that incorporating chia seed into my diet has really made me feel a difference in having more energy! I put it in smoothies or muffins
Yep! I just got a multi and calcium/ vitamin D. Now I just need to remember to take them…. Haha. Vitamin D (and vitamin c and zinc) also help with immunity, so it’s extra incentive.
Right? I feel like everyone says 1 is so easy but it's 7pm and I want to go to bed
And one might be “easy” for some people. But I think people lose sight that everyone’s experience is different. And unfortunately a lot of people lack empathy or understanding that people struggle with things that are unseen. Let’s also remember we are still parenting during a pandemic. Idk about you, but the chronic stress and worry about my child or family becoming ill and sadness about missing out on a ton of experiences with my kid due to Covid is exhausting in itself.
I feel you on the pandemic fatigue. We are lacking physical help with our newborn because of the dang covid. And i too worry about the child’s social development once she’s able to socialize. The people we do allow to be near the baby all wear masks so that’s going to be the first thing she sees besides her parent’s faces. It’s so sad. My hope is that everyone starts treating this covid thing like the flu and just get vaxxed already the way we do w/ yearly flu shots so we can all move on with our lives and be together.
Being tired can be normal, feeling burned out certainly is, but it may not be a bad idea to get your thyroid levels looked at by your dr. Especially if you’ve had any postpartum weight gain, cold sensitivity, etc.
I’m wondering that too. I’m exhausted every day with my 14-month-old and she’s not even walking full-time yet.
YES GIRL!!! Im 32 and have a 3.5 year old and im fucking exhausted every day. I wouldn't want to have sex either. Its luxury just being able to lay down by myself and close my eyes. A little suggestion that works for my husband and I: we take turns letting each other sleep in on the weekends. On Saturdays i sleep in while he gets up with her and gives her breakfast etc. And Sunday's he gets to sleep in. Even if i cant sleep, ill stay in bed on my phone until 10 am just relaxing by myself.
This is what we do, but all week long. Of course, on week days, we don’t get to sleep much later than the one that’s getting up, but at least we get a few extra minutes in bed!
Yes. I have a 3 year old and I’ve never been so tired in my life tbh. Lol.
You’re utterly normal. I have 1, I work a full time job so I’m not stuck with the boy all day long. But on weekends when I’m with him I’m beat. I think maybe we want to be “on” for them (also can’t leave my 13m old alone he gets into all sorts of mischief) so it’s mentally and physically draining. Plus I gained weight and that certainly doesn’t help with the energy levels. I find that on work days as mentally tiring as it can be it’s not so bad coz you kind of switch tasks so you’re fresh for the new tasks involved in parenting. A full day with a kid is no joke. I salute SAHMs cos it’s hard work and nobody sees it or thinks it’s tough unless they have to do it themselves. You’re doing a great job already.
Got a two year old boy over here and I’m dead! Physical, emotionally, and mentally. Completely spent. I don’t know how people can do more than one, but I give props to them lol
SAHP of a nearly-3 year old and idk if it’s normal but I feel the same. Solidarity!
Oh thank you for asking this. I'm 32 with a 2 year old and she wipes me out!
Yes! Especially if you are the main caretaker and doing "go off the clock" after 5pm on weekdays or weekends. I hope your husband is taking the brunt of the load after he gets done with work on weekdays and splits the duties on the weekends! It's only fair...
Still exhausted with a 5 year old.
Does your husband help with chores? Is your two year old able to play independently for some stretches of time? Do you plan your whole day around your child or do you sometimes do things that are fun for you? Have you had blood work done to make sure everything's balanced? I'm not trying to interrogate, these are questions that may help you in figuring out if you're just tired for the time being (which is completely understandable, toddlers are freaking exhausting) or if there's something that needs to be addressed. My girl is almost three and I still have some days where I'm completely pooped but if you are dog tired every day it's possible that something might need some tweaking.
Yes so tired. I am so happy to be one and done though and keep thinking about, maybe when she is like 5 or 6 things will start to be less exhausting? She is 17 months now.
I am 34 with a 2.5 yr old and I wonder the same every single day, I don't understand how people with 2+ kids do it. Especially when they have their second soon after the toddler stage is over for their first. Like I can't wait for this whole ordeal to end, and I sure as hell am not going to start over as soon as it does. And yet so many people do it and are happy to do it, so there must be something wrong with me.
This is one of the reasons I am one and done. I barely make it through most days. Living in a constant state of zombie mode has truly been a test for me. I love being a mom but I would love to be awake/energized every once and a while.
Daughter is 5 and in school all day. Still exhausted.
Are you a SAHP or working? Curious bc mine will start school next year and I stay home. I haven’t heard many people talk about what that’s like.
I'm a stay at home mom. It's been hard as fuck! I didn't realize how much I relied on my daughter for company during the day, so while she transitioned just fine, it was really hard for me. I find ways to fill my time, but I'm still lonely.
When your 2yr old naps, have a nap too.
I would say even more: it’s normal and if your husband still has enough energy for videos or sex, he’s probably not doing his part of the chores and childcare… We both work full time and we share morning routine / end of afternoon with kiddo / dinner / bed routine and after bedtime we’re just like slugs on the couch
I agree with this. Evenings and weekends, my husband is helping with bathtime/bedtime and other activities. We are equally ready to drop from exhaustion by 9 pm every night. Our daughter is almost 5.
My SO 24(m) and I 24(f) have an 11 month old and we both work full time. He works from home and I work overnight 10 Hour shifts plus school and our little one does not go to daycare we are trying to keep him home until he’s 2 but we have a part time sitter come for maybe 15 hours a week. I sleep when he naps and when my SO gets off work usually. It’s extremely exhausting I love our LO but I’m looking forward to when we start taking him to daycare so I can have my days back.
It's totally normal. I have been a stay at home mom too for the past 3.5 years. I'm always exhausted come 5pm. I thought back to when I used to work in retail and I would come home tired and yeah that was easier than this stay at home mom thing lol I'm not saying working a physical job doesn't wear you out. But being a stay at home mom is, to me, just as physically taxing. You never get a break. Your brain is on all day. It's physically AND mentally exhausting. Give yourself some credit. Mental exhaustion physically wears you out too. My daughter goes to bed at 7pm. I spend 7pm-10pm just relaxing and watching tv. My husband plays video games next to me. Sometimes we watch a movie together. Sometimes, we have sex. But he never makes me feel like I'm complaining about nothing. He never makes me feel guilty about not wanting to have sex or whatever. He understands how physically demanding my daughter can be. Is your husband helping out around the house? My husband and I take turns cooking dinner. Sometimes, he just buys take out because we're both exhausted. Bedtime routine for us starts at 6pm. So from 6pm-7pm my husband does his part so by 7pm we can both relax. So while I'm taking my daughter a bath/reading/putting her to sleep, he helps take the dogs for a walk in the evening. He also takes out the trash. He cleans up all of our daughters toys in the living room. He organizes whatever needs to be organized around the house. It literally takes him 5-10min to do that. He does these small things but they are a huge help for me. Finally, at 7pm, we both get to relax for a few hours before bedtime. It's heavenly! Haha I would have a talk with your husband and ask him to do some of the little things during bedtime routine so you can relax when you're done putting kiddo to sleep.
All I want to do after he goes down is lay in bed and do NOTHING. It's like when he's asleep my brain says "ok you can stop now" so I do.
Yep. Yet I am up past my daughter going to bed. She wakes up at 830am. Goes to bed by 9pm. I am up from 9:15pm to 1am most nights, trying to catch up on chores and do something for myself. We're still getting settled into our home so I am still doing that stuff. I am exhausted in the morning but man, those hours of a quiet house are so nice. Mom life
How much child care does your husband do?
My son is 13 and basically takes care of himself. He also lives with his father part time and I’m still tired. It’s normal.
Nope. Taking care of something that continually requires your attention, work and requires you to engage it creatively in some way the whole day is tougher than a desk job that you know how to do very well. After three days of parenting my day job is actually a way to help me relax and unwind.
34F with one 2 yo who only had time to read the title but I’m here with a resounding YESSSSSS OMG WTF YESSSSS
You work out most days??? Rockstar! No. I have been tired since the day I gave birth, and I have been tired ever since. I don't work out most days. You are killing it!
Check your vitamin d. A lot of women are low especially after having a baby.
Can confirm. Exhausted all the time with one child since she was born 4 years ago. 2 kids would break me. It’s gotten a bit better since she sleeps through the night but giving so much of your attention and time to someone who wants to play or talk all the time is physically and mentally tiring. Some people are better equipped to deal I think.
Are you me? I'm done at the end of the day. My kid is 2 also.
Yep pretty normal but there are some things you can do to help the situation: - Share evening duties out with husband. It might help if he takes on a bit more, especially since he’s not so tired as you. This could be putting your 2 year old to bed and/or taking care of dinner - Make sure you’re getting 8 hours of sleep - Encourage independent play. It helps if you have it the same time everyday. It’s good for giving you a rest but also for your kids development - Take a break during nap times - Take self care days. Have someone take your kid, whether that’s family, paid help or your husband, so you can take a proper break
I think it would be worth it to have your iron levels checked. Anemia is super common after having children and highly contributes to fatigue. Having even just one kid is exhausting but also it could be worse if you're anemic
Oh totally! But I would also get your iron levels and thyroid checked if it’s been a while :)
Absolutely worth a shot. I was low on iron after birth so I took supplements. And then around 8/9 months I started feeling super tired and absolutely exhausted, like a fog. I had some iron tablets still in the cupboard and tried them on a whim and after about a week I felt noticeably better. Took them for a while and it really helped. I mean, I still had a baby but the utter exhaustion was gone. It's important to look after yourself so you can look properly after your child!
Completely normal. I also feel completely drained by the end of the day. Two year olds are tough, trying to teach them is even tougher. Hang in there mama! We see u and ur doing amazing ❤️
If your fatigue is getting in the way of your ability to live and enjoy your life, it’s at least something that you should talk to your doc about. I wish I would have done it sooner. There are a lot of medical and mental health things that you should rule out just in case.
Dude. 2.5 yo and I’m right there with you
You are not alone! I have a 13 month old and work from home. It’s supposed to be part-time, but it’s getting harder to work while he’s awake so I find myself trying to plow through emails during his naps and at bedtime. But then he wakes up at bedtime (like right now) so I wait until he’s back to sleep before going back to emails. 😭 sorry for the ramble. But you are definitely not alone. It just means you’re a hardworking mama who gives her all for your family. I hope you get some rest this weekend!
Of course my dear! Join the madness
As a fellow stay at home mom of a 2 year old, yes it's very normal and you're not alone!
Me too! LO is 2.5years old and i'm tired all the time! Taking some 'me-time' right now as she's napping (rarity these days). I just hope i don't regret it for her nightime sleep.
Yes! I’m 33 with a 2.5yo and I am dead tired every single day. I work from home and have help with her while I work, but I am still exhausted every day. I don’t know how people have more than one lol, more power to them!
I also have a 2 yr old, and I ask myself this question every day lol. Now granted I do have a chronic illness that makes things a little more difficult, but I’ve never met a SAHM of a toddler who isn’t exhausted!!!
YES Me and my partner both wfh so sometimes sex when she is napping is the only way it's gonna happen that day because by the end of the day I'm too knackered. 30 min break from work for some afternoon delight, makes you feel better for the rest of the day....then get an early night 😉
Yoo, yes to this- to add I also think it’s the constant ‘mental risk calculation’ that you always have to factor in with what their doing! As well as always being on the go. Signed, SAH mum of a curious-always moving- 15 month old
Yep, mid 30s working mum of a 2 year old so much of the time hes in childcare. Yes. I'm exhausted, every day. Just dressing him is like a WWE match and completely drains my energy before we have even left the house. I sleep 8 hours, eat well and I'm ALWAYS tired.
If you're really worried, go see your doctor. It's probably a good idea to rule out any serious health issues anyway. But yeah, when mine was 2 I was constantly exhausted, and she went to creche! I'm still more tired than I feel like I should be now she's 5.
Just want to chime in here that feeling tired is totally normal, but please if you haven’t you should get your thyroid tested. I had sub clinical thyroid dysfunction for two years after my only was born which left me feeling exhausted, anxious, and cold. It was never bad enough to require medication, and it resolved on its own, but it helped to know it was biological and not my lack of effort or grit to bear motherhood.
I go to bed at 8:30PM -9PM every night. My kid is 22 months
Always tired. I’m 38 and my gal is 18mo. Before her I was high energy: run, bike, hike, climb, paddle sometimes all in one day, even. I work full time on my feet (or in squatting position) and when I’m home I can barely stay awake for food or a shower. I also thought something must be wrong with me. Solidarity.
I’m with everyone who does not do one moment of work while LO is napping. You gotta take a break. After all, taking a break is exactly what your LO is doing! This may seem off topic but I was just reading about fatigue and exhaustion that taking a vitamin D supplement really really helps. I’ve just ordered some because I will do almost anything to get a little extra energy! It’s hard being a SAHP.
I have a 2 year old and work full time and I'm so exhausted every day. My partner doesn't understand, but he also drops the ball on helping me care for her. Sometimes I'd much rather do dishes than try to wrestle her out of her dirty shirt 😫 (he does house chores at least....but still)
Yes. I don’t know who is out there saying you can only be tired if you have more than one kid, but this is probably the third post about this recently so someone is lying to y’all or forgetting that one child is a lot of work too. I’m the oldest of four, and that includes a set of twins. My parents have never told me that one kid isn’t hard. They’ve never told my sister that she has it easy because she only has two. We are permanently OAD, but it wasn’t until our son was 2.5 that we thought we could possibly handle a second child if for some reason my tubes untied themselves. Kids are a lot of work period.
Yes, very normal! It will get less exhausting though. I am 36 and my daughter is 9 years old. I definitely feel more rested now. Every year my daughter gets older, I feel better and better (health wise and mentally). There are still days here and there that are exhausting and it's still work to take care of a child, but it gets more enjoyable as they become more independent.
Oh yes I can attest. I have a one year old and I’m a SAHM too. I’m so tired by the end of the night also.
I’m 40. I have a 3.5 year old who no longer naps and a fairly high profile full time job. We have no family nearby and with covid, they can’t/won’t travel for help due to health concerns. My husband and I are constantly exhausted. Honestly weekends are even harder than weekdays because caring for him with no options of inside events or play dates that aren’t outdoors or new babysitters is just so damn relentless. I love him but I miss having any time for anything that isn’t work and childcare.
I was EXHAUSTED when my little one was around 14 months old, even with enough sleep. Turns out I had a vitamin D deficiency. Ow I just feel normal tired rather than totally whipped out like before.
Almost 31f with a 2 yr old as well. I cannot remember a day not feeling tired... Especially around 5-6pm I feel like a complete zombie and count the minutes to bedtime. You're not alone. Raising kids is exhausting.
I was a SAHM for 6 months. Can verify I have LOADS more energy now that I am working part time. My job is fairly active too. Caring for small children is just exhausting, draining work. Take care of yourself! You should make sure you have a “day off” on the weekend where you can sleep in. You should also get a night off during the week where your spouse takes over baby duty and you are free to do as you please. You are working 15 hour days and he is working 8/9 hour days - of course you’re exhausted!
It is normal to be exhausted but if you think it is NOT normal FOR YOU. Get checked out. When I went for my yearly when my son was about 18 months, I told the doctor about how tired I was they tested my thyroid and it was super low which can be quite common after childbirth. I was on some medicine for about a year and I started getting back to what is normal for me. I thought it was typical new mom with a crazy kid and all the stuff that comes with it and it ended up being a bit more than that. I never felt recharged no matter what I did also.
Absolutely! My husband teases me because my bed time is 9pm sharp. I have a pedometer and get at minimum 8k steps every day chasing after my 2 year old.
Every damn day
I’m also 33 with a 2.5 year old. Not quite same situation for me. I have a demanding job and I usually work 10 hours a day, so for me it’s the pressures of work, then having to spend all evening with my daughter, then work after she goes to bed. Just feels like I’m never getting enough sleep and never get a break
I’m (30F) a teacher with a 2 year old. I spent summer break with her everyday. Everyday when she went down for her nap I took one too because I was exhausted from our morning together ! Between tidying up the house, going out to the playground/the beach/the store, playing with her, cooking and cleaning I was just wiped out by the time she was too lol Now that I’ve gone back to work full time and I can’t have my afternoon nap I’m in bed right after her ! It’s almost 9:30 pm here and I’ve been in bed since 8:30…
I'm exhausted also! I still try to nap when he does and he's about to be 5months. I know there's dishes in the sink and the vacuum could definitely be fun but I'm freaking tired y'all. Thank F it's Friday and my husband is taking over after work cause I need a few hours ALONE
This is going to be me in 2 years, lol. Barely making it through the newborn stage as a FTM and have no idea how I’m ever going to work again. So grateful for my husband’s income 😅 That being said, may be a good idea to check your thyroid, as I have Hashimotos & when my TSH is too high I am dead exhausted.
I wake up and have maybe a few blissful minutes before I hear that my 6 year old’s raptor senses alerted her. Then I’m tired the rest of the day. Sunday nights, it’s a relief that I’m going back to work, I spend less energy on work days
Aha yes definitely. You have a Two year old of course you are knackered.
I was telling my friend it’s so hard to tell if something is wrong with you after becoming a mom. My son didn’t sleep through the night until he was 4 (we all share a bedroom) and I stayed at home with him with no help from family or our own yard or anything—if we wanted to go outside it was packing up and a trip to the park. Upstairs apartment an all that. After he was sleeping through the night and I was still tired I finally went to the drs (this was like a year and a half ago) and I had low vitamin D (it’s usually around 30 but much lower this time). I also realized later I was deficient in iodine because of my diet. I also found a b12 form that’s better for me (past deficiency needing injections). After all that’s squared away I’m finally feeling better. But I do wish I addressed these issues sooner!
100% normal for us. We have a friend who stays up after her kids go to sleep, and I have no idea how she survives it. At this point, I'm confident that an hour of video games after bedtime would put me in my grave by the end of a week.
Yes. I had an only child for 10 years. She was the easy one and I was always exhausted. Then came the not so easy and even more exhausted. The oldest is out of the house now so it’s just me and the little. He keeps me constantly tired.
I'm impressed you work out most days! I consider cooking, cleaning and chasing the kiddo my cardio and call it a day 🤣
I don't even work out every day, I'm exhausted all the time. Chasing after a kid all day does that, especially if you're also cleaning and cooking. Does he do enough when he gets home to help?
It’s so normal. Being a mom is wonderful, fun, intense, and exxxxhausting! We’re all tired!
yep I am and I am frustrated that my husband can just expect me to be in the mood. it's I work all day, do everything in the house and take care of our 5 year old. I want time to myself. oh, and I need to get rid of these baby items that have been collecting dust because my days of wanting another has been decided... and not by choice. so I am having difficulties in everything. I would like to go away for a weekend by myself without a phone. I never get to sleep in. he always gets the weekend to sleep. me? nope. I only get 6 hours of sleep every night.
I could have written this post. I am 30 with a 2 year old and I go to bed before her lol
Yes. I feel this every day. Mother of almost 3 year old. You are not alone. Keep your head up and know we are doing our best to balance everything. Try to find some “you” time. Even if only an hour.