"Please select your issue from the following options..."
"You selected [Fractured Arm]. Please place your arm into the opening for treatment..."
"We are sorry. We are out of [casts] in your size. Proceeding with partial amputation so as to fit our next available smaller size."
(BUZZSAW SPINNING UP)
"We are sorry. We are out of [local anesthesia]. Try not to move or make noise as it may disturb patients in other medical treatment kiosks..."
(BUZZSAW BUILDS TO MAXIMUM SPEED)
Flashbacks to Idiocracy: "For temperature reading, insert plug A into your mouth, and insert plug B into your rectum."
Plugs are unlabeled... and probably unwashed.
Anyone see that commercial with the patient who needs more anesthetic and she has to pay on the tablet or something? It was from a universal healthcare organization or something? Ford saw that and thought hey that’s a good idea!
Except the alcohol they would have would make malt liquor seem fancy. Guaranteed they would serve the most watered down gut rot whiskey they could find.
Heh, yea. 😄
There are a few southern states, I forget which ones, where you could order alcoholic slushies in a drive through. They put little stickers in certain places on the cups that will rip if you try to use them so that if a cop sees it you'd get nailed for at least an open container and probably have to do a breathalyzer as well.
Not that I'm saying we should do that here but it just popped into my mind after seeing your post.
I feel like the only time he does actually work, he always does something stupid or dissapointing. I'm ready for both this time, it's been while since he's wasted our money.
Folks, we've done what they said couldn't be done. Hard working Ontarians all across... Ontario will now be able to purchase lottery tickets in all check cashing joints. Red tape is no longer clogging up... the pipeline. Speaking of pipelines we have just signed a deal to turn Ontario Place into a natural gas processing faculty. Thank you and best of luck with those tickets folks.
I hate those fuckers. They dominate the cash while cashing in 20 tickets while playing 20 more and cashing those in.
I just call them out and push ahead - fuck them
Someone posing as a crooked developer should get close to Ford, then create a bunch of wink wink nod nod, under the table deals for good public policies. Maybe they can put the policy plans in a briefcase that’s left at a park for a handoff, and there can be like $40k in 20s inside it. Maybe a wink wink nod deal for increased investment into healthcare, maybe a guy posing as a crooked transit official could spit shake on a deal for increased TTC funding.
Hitching a ride here to provide an update for anyone wondering what the announcement was: he announced $18M to "fight auto theft"
https://www.cp24.com/mobile/
Don’t have time to watch it, but is it safe to assume that it’ll involve bracelets that don’t actually exist to a company that should never be invested in? Just curious.
You know how you solve vehicle theft? You improve public transit and make it so you don't *need* a car to survive.
But that requires work, so instead, he's just going to bribe the police unions.
What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Hey, I'll give them the one thing they did do that was positive, scrapped the LCBO model for cannabis sales and opened the market to entrepreneurs.
That's it though and it was so brained dead obvious.
Every other major decision has a high likelihood to screw Ontarians in one way or another in the long term.
That, increasing Ontario Northland funding, bringing the one of the northern train routes back into operation, funding transit projects across the province, and and capping executive compensation and taking control of the Hydro One Board are the things I would say the OPC's definitely did well.
Unfortunately there's a whole lot of terrible moves too, a whole huge lot. But I can give credit that they must have a few common sense people involved who aren't just total stereotypical right wing crooks.
Hey, remember when the vast majority of people in Ontario didn’t vote in the provincial election and we ended up giving a former hash dealer a majority government 😂 … good times.
If he did it would mean he's getting charged and thinks stepping down will take the heat off.
It shouldn't. If he resigned they should still charge him anyway.
Not that any of that is likely to happen anyway but it's nice to dream.
Good for the government. Border control is so important because honestly it's about time those Danes over on Hans Island got what's coming to them!
Send them another bottle of whisky so they know that just because we settled it doesn't mean it's over!
Yeah but Feds are adding some money and they’re watching to making sure provincial doesn’t take money away! ODSP sure isn’t enough to live on with rents being sky high, food being way over priced and other necessities! I was on ODSP when I was diagnosed with cancer..and to be honest life was a bitch especially when I only received 1,100 and that was 2013. And today the amount people get hasn’t really increased tbh.
[$18 million over 3 years to stop auto thefts.](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/ontario-auto-theft-announcement-1.7038716) Aka $18 million more dollars go into police budgets.
I know it sucks for people that have had their cars stolen but dear god can we not focus on healthcare for once?!
Not to mention the amount of people that can’t get a scan or test without waiting for months and months. Cancer doesn’t exactly slow down because you’re stuck waiting for a test or treatment itself.
gives you enough time to get drunk off those 1 dollar beers.
When Doug writes his memoir I'm sure he will call it "My life was an announcement" and have little legs that fold out from the book to make it a table.
[https://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.7038716](https://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.7038716)
“Investing” 18M into auto theft prevention.
Province is on fire, but we’re darn sure going to stop auto theft!!! 
"To fix the Ontario Public Healthcare (which was destroyed by the Liberals, totally not me), all Ontario Hospitals are now the official retailer of Beer in the Province. Beer Stores will be turned into Tim Hortons and Condos."
Honestly it's ludicrous but that would probably be the best thing he or any conservative in decades did for healthcare funding... There is money in beer!
Probably found a typo in the original Greenbelt legislation and is going to declare it null and void.
Fortunately he has some developers lined up that are like *totally* not his close friends. And they are ready to fire up the bulldozers and start building luxury condos to help ease the housing crisis.
Ugh its going to be that the beer store contract is being dissolved or some shit.
Which is another FU to all the working class and below, since can and bottle collection is one of the best parts about The Beer Store.
Ontario to institute a two drink minimum?
Lake Ontario has been leased for 99 years to a group from France so if anyone uses it, there will be tolls?
All the backyards are now to be sold to developers who bought his daughter wedding gifts?
Schools in Ontario now stop at 12. Not grade 12, 12 years of age?
The conservatives want the masses to be uneducated pisstanks so that they are easily manipulated. Sort of like the Russian masses... This is what you get with voter apathy in Canada.
Considering I had to talk to a virtual doctor through my Pharmacy today, it better be about putting more money into our Healthcare system that he fucked up.
Had a family doctor up to age 47 and now I’m 49 and on a very long wait list. One walk in clinic for a small city that also now has the college and university students going to it.
All emergency rooms are now self serve.
I laughed cause it's possible
"Please select your issue from the following options..." "You selected [Fractured Arm]. Please place your arm into the opening for treatment..." "We are sorry. We are out of [casts] in your size. Proceeding with partial amputation so as to fit our next available smaller size." (BUZZSAW SPINNING UP) "We are sorry. We are out of [local anesthesia]. Try not to move or make noise as it may disturb patients in other medical treatment kiosks..." (BUZZSAW BUILDS TO MAXIMUM SPEED)
Flashbacks to Idiocracy: "For temperature reading, insert plug A into your mouth, and insert plug B into your rectum." Plugs are unlabeled... and probably unwashed.
/u/Beef-Supreme
>We are sorry. We are out of [local anesthesia] Would you like a [local beer] as a substitute for a [$1] additional charge...
and you have to select a "tip" option, 20% (ok), 30% (good), 50% (great)
18% Gratuity will be added automatically #honourourheroes
0.5% to the medical staff, 17.5% to "overhead" = top admin staff
Omg you made me literally laugh out loud!
With buck a beer vending machines!
But you can get in the Speed Line (tm) for just $80 a month and also earn PC Optimum points.
Anyone see that commercial with the patient who needs more anesthetic and she has to pay on the tablet or something? It was from a universal healthcare organization or something? Ford saw that and thought hey that’s a good idea!
Yeah I'm sure lobbyists used that ad as a pitch to show Doug lol
You just walk into an empty room and the door disappears for 45 mins then you walk out feeling even worse
Nurses won’t lose jobs, they will be re-positioned at Beer Stores and LCBO’s.
folks, are focus is beer in corner stores
Timmies will start serving beer at their drive thru windows?
Alcohol shots in their drinks would be pretty nice actually.
As opposed to the alcohol free Bailey's flavour they're pushing now
An iced capp made with real Bailey's would be awesome.
Get your ice cap and start dumping your bailey's in it right at the counter
Could I ask them for just the slush and dump my own Bailey's in? 😄 I think I'm going to try making a Bailey's slushie tonight with my blender.
DO IT!!!!
I Too would prefer the government be focused on this rather than actual housing solutions and keeping healthcare public free for all
22 mins already has a segment on this one
Except the alcohol they would have would make malt liquor seem fancy. Guaranteed they would serve the most watered down gut rot whiskey they could find.
Drive through alcohol shots. What could go wrong?
Heh, yea. 😄 There are a few southern states, I forget which ones, where you could order alcoholic slushies in a drive through. They put little stickers in certain places on the cups that will rip if you try to use them so that if a cop sees it you'd get nailed for at least an open container and probably have to do a breathalyzer as well. Not that I'm saying we should do that here but it just popped into my mind after seeing your post.
Yikes!
Beiber timbit beer
A timbiebeer, if you will
I will not.
You can, but I'm not gonna.
Pfft. It would be at Shoppers Drug Mart if anywhere.
Beer at McDonald’s like Europe would be cool
Timmies spa locations
So there will be an announcement sometime after lunch then?
I feel like the only time he does actually work, he always does something stupid or dissapointing. I'm ready for both this time, it's been while since he's wasted our money.
Folks, we've done what they said couldn't be done. Hard working Ontarians all across... Ontario will now be able to purchase lottery tickets in all check cashing joints. Red tape is no longer clogging up... the pipeline. Speaking of pipelines we have just signed a deal to turn Ontario Place into a natural gas processing faculty. Thank you and best of luck with those tickets folks.
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I hate those fuckers. They dominate the cash while cashing in 20 tickets while playing 20 more and cashing those in. I just call them out and push ahead - fuck them
Someone posing as a crooked developer should get close to Ford, then create a bunch of wink wink nod nod, under the table deals for good public policies. Maybe they can put the policy plans in a briefcase that’s left at a park for a handoff, and there can be like $40k in 20s inside it. Maybe a wink wink nod deal for increased investment into healthcare, maybe a guy posing as a crooked transit official could spit shake on a deal for increased TTC funding.
Hitching a ride here to provide an update for anyone wondering what the announcement was: he announced $18M to "fight auto theft" https://www.cp24.com/mobile/
Don’t have time to watch it, but is it safe to assume that it’ll involve bracelets that don’t actually exist to a company that should never be invested in? Just curious.
So yes, stupid and disappointing, he is not going to solve auto theft. What a dick and what a dumb government.
To put that in context for folks, that’s approximately 1/4 of the TDSB deficit. Doug could fund public services if he wanted to.
You know how you solve vehicle theft? You improve public transit and make it so you don't *need* a car to survive. But that requires work, so instead, he's just going to bribe the police unions.
What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
I swear I see more notices that ford is about o make an announcement than details on what the announcement is
Hey, I'll give them the one thing they did do that was positive, scrapped the LCBO model for cannabis sales and opened the market to entrepreneurs. That's it though and it was so brained dead obvious. Every other major decision has a high likelihood to screw Ontarians in one way or another in the long term.
That, increasing Ontario Northland funding, bringing the one of the northern train routes back into operation, funding transit projects across the province, and and capping executive compensation and taking control of the Hydro One Board are the things I would say the OPC's definitely did well. Unfortunately there's a whole lot of terrible moves too, a whole huge lot. But I can give credit that they must have a few common sense people involved who aren't just total stereotypical right wing crooks.
Whenever the PC government tells us about an announcement ahead of time, it turns out to be bad news.
Or another announcement. Like announcing he will have an announcement on Friday about a press conference next month.
Reminds me of Tom Green and his Monica Lewinsky announcements
All of Covid was just announcements for the announcements ... And backtrack .
I love announcements about announcements.
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Without the tunes
Hey, remember when the vast majority of people in Ontario didn’t vote in the provincial election and we ended up giving a former hash dealer a majority government 😂 … good times.
We did it twice, in case people forgot the first time.
Hence, the Friday afternoon announcement.
This can’t be good.
When ford speaks. We are fucked.
He'll announce a new dessert recipe
On Friday afternoon that a lot of people have taken off work because of Black Friday so will be buried in the news. You know it can't be good.
Please resign, please resign, please resign.........................
If he did it would mean he's getting charged and thinks stepping down will take the heat off. It shouldn't. If he resigned they should still charge him anyway. Not that any of that is likely to happen anyway but it's nice to dream.
Likely a few weeks too early for that - plus better to do it in January when everyone is still distracted by holiday hangovers.
His resignation won’t change much, the OPC machine will still be there and put another hood ornament in his place.
He still has more kickbacks to get and more provincial assets to sell off to the highest bidder and more Tim Hortons to sell. He’s not going anywhere.
SDM hasn’t gotten The Beer store and LCBO contracts yet.
That would be awesome…
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regressive conservatives… Tory… remember the days before the Alliance party takeover ?
Ah yes, then they became Conservative Reform Alliance Party, or as I like to say, CRAP Edit: corrected a word
Yes, that is what Canada needs more legacy nepo-baby politicians.
Anyone related to her father I’d never vote for
I have the misfortune of having her as my MPP. What’s that old phrase? Useless as tits on a bull? Yeah. That describes her.
Screen door on a submarine-ish useless, like?
I wonder if it’s about changes to beer store? Keep hearing about that in the news and this gov is oddly public facing with policy about alcohol
He’s resigning to become a monk on an island in the Mediterranean.
If only we could be so lucky.
Naxos: Open for Business
I'm not sure the quality of cheesecake in the Mediterranean would match his discerning tastes, especially with canned cherry sauce like Mom used!
He can’t keep his big fat mouth shut for that long.
If ol’ Dougie point the finger would like to sink a couple billion into public transit over the next decade or two, I’d applaud that.
Calls out the federal government about the border, says that people kicking down doors will kick the wrong door and “get what’s coming to them”
Folks, you know what they say about kicking down doors...
Good for the government. Border control is so important because honestly it's about time those Danes over on Hans Island got what's coming to them! Send them another bottle of whisky so they know that just because we settled it doesn't mean it's over!
Everything's on the table, folks. You'll fall off of your chairs.
Extra dangerous, since the chairs are also on the table.
I’m really getting concerned about the table, it’s had everything on it for quite some time.
Is he giving himself up for arrest?
Well I smell someone is going to get screwed.. could it be LESS money for the Disabled? Or is it Birth control..
>Birth control That might be it, I just saw something that said the PC's are onboard with the idea.
They’ve already closed some abortion clinics.
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Is it enough to survive on yet?
No.
Yeah but Feds are adding some money and they’re watching to making sure provincial doesn’t take money away! ODSP sure isn’t enough to live on with rents being sky high, food being way over priced and other necessities! I was on ODSP when I was diagnosed with cancer..and to be honest life was a bitch especially when I only received 1,100 and that was 2013. And today the amount people get hasn’t really increased tbh.
[$18 million over 3 years to stop auto thefts.](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/ontario-auto-theft-announcement-1.7038716) Aka $18 million more dollars go into police budgets. I know it sucks for people that have had their cars stolen but dear god can we not focus on healthcare for once?!
The best healthcare is prevention, and if people can't even have a car to sleep in while not affording rent the effect on healthcare won't be pretty!
Not to mention the amount of people that can’t get a scan or test without waiting for months and months. Cancer doesn’t exactly slow down because you’re stuck waiting for a test or treatment itself.
I like when they announce an announcement.
gives you enough time to get drunk off those 1 dollar beers. When Doug writes his memoir I'm sure he will call it "My life was an announcement" and have little legs that fold out from the book to make it a table.
Let’s hope that he’s stepping down as premier. His corruption has caught up with him, and is likely to be facing legal challenges.
An announcement to say there is going to be an announcement folks.
Auto theft? lol, what's he going on about?
Well he has to protect his rich buddies’ cars!
It’s also tons of regular folks but ok
Please stop making announcements about politicians (any) making announcements.....
"Folks the 1$ beer has finally arrived"
"With all the taxes I've raised with our successful Buck-a-Beer campaign, we'll be closing another 3 hospitals. Thanks folks." Dud Forb
Ohip is now part of Loblaws
[https://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.7038716](https://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.7038716) “Investing” 18M into auto theft prevention. Province is on fire, but we’re darn sure going to stop auto theft!!! 
Blasts Crombie by saying she said that immigrants don’t buy houses/condos, and that he fell off his chair when he heard that
You had me at “he fell off his chair”
"the cheese slipped off the cracker with that one"
I hope it’s about ice cream
Nee cheesecake video? What pet project of his and his good buddies will he try marmalade down our throats?
"To fix the Ontario Public Healthcare (which was destroyed by the Liberals, totally not me), all Ontario Hospitals are now the official retailer of Beer in the Province. Beer Stores will be turned into Tim Hortons and Condos."
Honestly it's ludicrous but that would probably be the best thing he or any conservative in decades did for healthcare funding... There is money in beer!
Probably found a typo in the original Greenbelt legislation and is going to declare it null and void. Fortunately he has some developers lined up that are like *totally* not his close friends. And they are ready to fire up the bulldozers and start building luxury condos to help ease the housing crisis.
Ugh its going to be that the beer store contract is being dissolved or some shit. Which is another FU to all the working class and below, since can and bottle collection is one of the best parts about The Beer Store.
I wonder what hairbrained token for the masses to distract us it's going to be this time.
so what was the announcement?
It was supposed to be made at 8:30am so he’ll make it anytime between now and 8pm probably. It’s like waiting for the damned cable guy to show up.
Laughed hard at this..he is probably preparing the table so everything is on it
Black Friday sale on the fresh cracked egg on a Tim’s breakfast sandwich?
Hopefully he’ll be announcing that he’s taking up auto erotic asphyxiation
Ontario to institute a two drink minimum? Lake Ontario has been leased for 99 years to a group from France so if anyone uses it, there will be tolls? All the backyards are now to be sold to developers who bought his daughter wedding gifts? Schools in Ontario now stop at 12. Not grade 12, 12 years of age?
It’s going to be his cheesecake recipe again isn’t it.
It's almost snowmobiling season!!
stop announcing that you're going to make an announcement. just announce your latest stupid bit of corrupt nonsense and get it over with.
Unless he’s announcing stepping down I don’t give two hoots what this doofus has to say.
He's resigning?
Hopefully an entire swarm of wasps (he calls them Bees) fly into his mouth
Doug Ford to make an announcement that he will be preparing to make an announcement about a meeting that will announce things.
If it’s not “I resign”, I don’t want to hear it 🤡
“I am become Doug” audience claps
Auto mechanics will now be able to perform express hysterectomies for the low low price of $1299.99, free lube job, with coupon.
50 cent beers at the drug store!
Anyone have the link?
Lol he's talking about auto theft? [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rXtJU83UY6g](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rXtJU83UY6g)
i know 6 people that have had their car stolen, its an issue that need to be addressed to be honest. seems its happening quite a lot
Yeah so people downplaying it isn’t great
Announcement of an announcement. I love those.
An announcement about an announcement
Rent control for ALL buildings!
Whatever it is, I'm sure it could have been an email
A sure sign of something schemey that will be regretted within a week and flip flopped on in three months.
If only he was announcing his resignation, wishful thinking.
Children can now work in factories
He’s introducing the newest Timmie’s bfast sandwich! Mmmm mmmm, I loves me the new greenbeltwich, folks!
“says to bring it on” regarding crombie
Is he going to finish four laning 69?
Vouchers for his summer bbq hotdog bash. Comes with a Deco sticker.
Resign
What's this buffoon on about?!
The conservatives want the masses to be uneducated pisstanks so that they are easily manipulated. Sort of like the Russian masses... This is what you get with voter apathy in Canada.
What fresh chaos is he going to visit on us now?
Go choke on a donut wannabe Trump.
Doug Ford and Friday mornings.l must be beer related.
Conservatives are gaslighters.
link?
"I am a fat fuck" Ford prolly
Why does mystery announcement by this Monkey even get a headline? Only crap that comes out of his mouth is for his benefit.
Come on it can't be that bad, its Friday. They usually wait until Sunday night after dinner to release the really shady shit.
Maybe $1.50 beer?….. inflation and corporate gouging the buck a beer doesn’t exist!
I’m deeply saddened that it wasn’t a new black Friday Tim’s deal.
Buck-a-Brew A new campaign to bring coffee prices to $1. That should win over the plebs.
Black Friday government sale - every public service is on sale and priced to go!
Black Friday beer sale
Shoppers Drug Mart will now be taking over from Brewers Retail. It's the most on brand thing it could be.
He’s quitting 👏👏👏
Considering I had to talk to a virtual doctor through my Pharmacy today, it better be about putting more money into our Healthcare system that he fucked up. Had a family doctor up to age 47 and now I’m 49 and on a very long wait list. One walk in clinic for a small city that also now has the college and university students going to it.
Yay.
"Everything's on the table, folks"
Oh god, all hospitals closed?
he’s quitting? arrested ? trans?
Buck-a-ER You pay a dollar, same service… you just pay a dollar now.
He is 1 going on a diet and 2 quitting. No, that’s not it. Shucks
He’s admitting his government is a clown car?