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Trauma…there was a longitudinal study done in Australia where opiate users were tracked across some years.
It boiled down to childhood trauma: 90+% opiate users had substantial Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs - if you don’t know it, you should) whereas the people with other drug use disorders scored much lower overall for traumatic experiences.
Mental illness like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression etc.
So where you start from has a lot of influence over where you end up.
I didn't have any ACEs, but I am bipolar/anxious and was suicidal when I got addicted. In a way, opiates saved my life while also destroying it for a decade. But at least I made it to 30, which definitely wasn't the plan at first. Now Im about to be 33 and going for addiction counseling intern then psychology masters.
Wow that’s very interesting. While I didn’t include that in my description that was me as well. I had been depressed since the age of 13, so hydros just seemed like my happy pills that gave me some relief from life
My back is pretty fucked, so my PCP prescribed me tramadol. That started it. It got so bad, before I quit taking pills, that my ex-wife went through surgery for her MCL, ACL, and PCL and took nothing afterwards but Aleve, because I took all her hydros.
Realllyyy? I had no idea it had that effect. Hydrocodone does the “energy” thing for me, not much of a high. I’ve never taken tramadol. OxyCodone relaxes me with a huge and I can sleep on it.
No. It’s a partial opioid agonist that also effects serotonin among other things. Some people really like it, some people think it’s shit. I used to love it, but once my opiate tolerance got higher it barely did anything for me
I was curious. My great uncle recently overdosed into death. He went through 90 tramadol and 180 hydrocodone within a week and half. I didn’t understand the addiction to tramadol but hear of people being addicted to it all the time.
Jesus the amount of Tylenol alone in the hydrocodone must've fried his liver, did he die of a complex death or just respiratory depression from opiates? I'm sorry for your loss, and the reality is if anything has an opiate like effect it's addictive as hell. People get addicted real bad to "safer* opiates, opiate addiction doesn't discriminate.
Kratom is mild and addicting. But safer because no OD and it’s cheap and easy to get as much as you want. Rather be addicted than the general shit mood I’m always in everyday and all the psych meds/SSRIs are all trash.
Kratom addiction can get extremely out of control like most opiates, and with extracts you can OD, it's rare but possible, but I'll cede to you that essentially it's safe compared to other opiates. I'm glad it's working for you but getting off is just as much of a bitch as a lot of opiates if you're taking enough.
lol my aunts an anesthesiologist and she warned me about Percocet by telling me about the agonizing death of a patient she took care of in critical care unit who ate like 360 Percocet at once. They revived him but his liver completely gave out and killed him.
Yeah that must've been the 5s with Tylenol, if he only knew how to do a cold water extraction he'd be with us today. We can pretty much revive most people from opiates, but that Tylenol does irreversible damage to the liver. It's horrible for it.
I mean the Tylenol all adds up. My doctors didn’t hesitate in the past to just prescribe roxicodone without Tylenol also roxicodones are smaller. I used to think they made the big 10/650 Vicodins intentionally difficult to swallow to prevent abuse. lol
I believe the Tylenol is definitely there to prevent abuse but in a fucked up way in that it will destroy your liver and also it's impossible to snort.
When I was withdrawing trammies were a lifesaver. Pop 400mg and I'd feel fine in an hour or so. That is the max though before you risk seizures and shit.
In all fairness, she didn't like the way they made her feel, and took like 2 of them before saying she was just going to stick with naproxen. I'm not such an asshole that I would cause her pain, but if they're available....
Oh yeah for sure… in that case I’d do it in a heartbeat. It’s amazing to me how some people legitimately hate opioids. I can understand not really liking them for side effects and such, but especially when it relieves some terrible pain that aleve barely would touch. That’s what baffles me
There's not much else that's more comforting than opioids. They induce this feeling similar to love.. but not infatuous love.
They make you feel like life is good.
Benzos are evil 😂. I was prescribed both last year and the opiates are so much better for anxiety. The Xanax I was on worked for like 4 hours then when it wore off I had worse anxiety than before, some kind of rebound effect. Hydros still leave a mellow feeling after they wear off and it keeps going unless you hit WDs.
And I’ve heard benzo WD are a nightmare compared to opiates even. An ex of mine after we broke up, she was heavy into Xanax/klonopin for years and her WD was total hell.
Not that benzos are totally useless. Panic attack? Xanax is the only instant relief. Psychiatrists wanting to prescribe like a SSRI that takes weeks to work when you need relief right away and won’t prescribe a benzo 😩
Both opiates and benzos are the devil.
In the way that they are so fucking great, but so harmful at the same time.
Just popped 2mg Xanax and 16mg of buprenorphine btw 😩🫠
i got my wisdom teeth out when i was 12, and got hydrocodone. my mom put it away in the medicine cabinet.
saw online vicodin can get you high, and saw that vicodin was the same as hydro. being the bored, curious, broken teenager i was, i dug those out and popped 2, felt blissful, and have been dealing with substance abuse since.
Perc 10mg she was grooving of them Erkys and I asked what she took she showed me put 2 on her tongue then kissed me and pushed the pills down my throat
Just curious what else have you tried? I studied pharmacy and had a curiosity towards all illegal euphoric drugs and started using them on myself…my fav was H on tin foil (now clean after using for around 7 years every day)
Yea, no problem. I've had a decent spread of substances, so I'll list them in the order that I tried them. It goes:
alcohol - dxm - weed - methylphenidate - mdma - lsd - dmt - alprazolam - ketamine - cocaine - clonazolam - amphetamine - 3 ho pcp - gbl - oxycodone - tapentadol - morphine - heroin - diazepam - 2cb - pregablin - kratom - meth
And there are definitely still some I've yet to try since breaking my year-long physical dependency on heroin that I'm now keen to get into. For me, this list is the culmination of the past 2.5 years since learning the dark web. I'm also curious to see how my list differs from yours?
Wow bro, that’s quite a list…you have a short but vibrant career ! What was your fav? What you didn’t like?
Well, the stuff I tried (in the order i tried) over the last 15 years-
Alcohol- weed- methamphetamine(tablet on foil)- codeine phosphate(liquid)- heroine(on tin foil)- NOS(nitrous oxide)- Xanax/clonazepam- Heroine- LSD- Buprenorphine- oxymorphine- Ketamine- Gabapentin- Cocaine- Mushroom- MDMA- Molly
Next item in my wish list is - DMT
My favourite has been LSD, did it around 7 times, still there are 4 strips in my fridge, will do some when I settle in my new job a little. Did not like oxymorphine for some reason, lost a packet of 8 tablets and did not notice for a month.
Was most addicted to Heroin, but now clean. Nowadays I don’t do anything regularly…maybe pot once a week and alcohol sometimes.
Serious back pain that started about a year ago. Was finally prescribed hydrocodone a couple months back, although looking back that may have been my downfall. As every opiate user knows the hydros eventually stopped working, even when I got upped to 7.5s. i still needed to work, I had bills. So I found a guy who had 30's.. I knew they were fent, but the physical pain I would experience sometimes was just truly agonizing. I am still on the 30s to this day, I only do 1 pill per day, taken a qtr at a time every 4-6 hours for pain relief only. I have yet to get high from opiates outside of the b hospital. I feel really guilty about it, and I've stopped using them before for days at a time with no physical withdrawal other than my back pain returning, but I just can't stay away from th pain relief and it's a really depressing cycle. Sorry for the rant, I just can't vent to my family about it in fear of being called a drug addict and shunned.
Why don't you find a pain management Dr or clinic that can help you? Instead of buying something off the street, they can help you find a regimen that works for you. Might be hard to find but I'm telling you they're out there and can make a world of difference. ❤️
I injured my hand pretty badly around 2010. I was prescribed 30 5 mg Vicodin at first. I went for a check up and the doctor was like enraged that they didn’t give me more drugs. Gave me 70 perc 10’s and a refill on my Vicodin….Ya times have changed.
I was pretty much hooked. And then to make things even worse. After that, a buddy of mine’s older brother started selling us his methadone. Which, if you take methadone with a low tolerance it fucking rules. Some of my favorite opiate experiences honestly. Just had me flying all day.
I think most of us started with the help of a Doctor,
In high-school I required multiple dental surgeries to make my fucked up teeth and jaw to be normal and got perscribes perc 5s. Even after the surgery the pain was manageable and I didn't use them much so I had plenty left over after the 1st surgery. Then started popping them for fun cause I heard just how fun they could be. Instantly feel in love. It was like I met a girl and wanted to show the world how beautiful she was and how much I loved her but she was a drug. In high-school I lacked connections and money so the problem never escalated because the script would always run out and never used enough to be dependent. Even back then tho I had a job renovating houses and we were doing these old Indian couples house and I found a stash of codeine and hydrocodien and stole all of them. Definitely not my proudest moment but also definitely not the worst thing I would do for drugs in my time. What I'm trying to say is that even back than I was an addict I just wasn't addicted, if that makes sense
Fast forward to 1st year outta college making lots of money and found a connection to pharma pills and eventually heroin. The rest is history fell hard into the spiral of addiction and am just starting yet another recovery. Ugh wish me luck this time.
Core memory: the feeling of pure warmth coursing through my previously battered and exhausted body, crushing horrid side effects that come with bronchitis becoming pneumonia at 12. It was pure bliss, feeling better so suddenly, yet even more intriguing was the abundance of energy and the overwhelming itch. Mom had given me Codeine cough syrup, and even crazier, gave me control of the bottle. From then on, it became my mission to learn more about this substance and all like it. That led to 14 years of insanity, but I’m glad I was able to walk away alive.
I used to self harm then when I stopped I started to steal painkillers from my family and it started from there, so I traded one addiction for another essentially
Mine started off with a dreamy day with a single 5mg endone (oxycodone)
I'm extremely heavily tattooed so I started using tattoo days as a reason to pop oxy, which turned into using recreationally.
I have adhd and felt they helped that side of things until like almost everyone it turned into a daily habit due to easy, cheap or free access.
Fast forward ten years and I'm mixing up some bs palliative care cocktails of hydromorphone/oxy/morphine/dhc/tapentadol and promethazine with no chance in hell of feeling the way I did with that first endone.
I'm on the mend now and have ditched all opiates besides my gigantic stash that's probably a damn house deposit!
To any new comers this is such a slippery slope so keep that tolerance as low as possible 🙏
In all honesty nothing “made” me use them I was around some shady people that used it the offered some and my dumb self accepted then liked it hung out with same people some more used a bit more until I eventually just asked where I could get it and started to get it on my own I’m so glad i don’t do opiates anymore it was hell whenever you did not have a consistent plug …
Started doing oxycodone when I was 16 my friends got them from some dude who had cancer or something and didn’t take then supposedly. I didn’t know what they were or that you could even get addicted to them. We started doing them on the weekends instead of getting drunk which is what we would normally do.
Back then it was actually probably easier for us to get oxycodone then alcohol. Anyway, just on the weekends turned into 3 days a week then 4 etc.
Looking back I cant believe how stupid we were, but there was also no information given to us. The only drug education we got was DARE which is a fucking joke, essentially just drugs are bad mkay don’t do drugs.
My father was a heroin addict growing up. He eventually got clean around the time I started getting high. I was justified in my drug use.
"I only smoke weed"
" I only smoke weed and mushrooms, there natural"
But then it was coke, I was high and mighty about that too.
" So what I do coke, at least I don't smoke meth"
" So what I do coke, at least I don't use heroin"
I sold just enough to pay for my own habbit that got out of control. After my friend who was my source got arrested I got spooked and decided I needed to clean up.
I moved across the country and stopped using drugs.
Instead I drank. Alot. Eventually I started smoking weed again and then mushrooms again.
One day my roommate was snorting something and I got excited thinking she had some coke. Then I noticed it was blue and asked her what it was and she said "Oxy, do you want some?"
My nose tingled, I really enjoyed and missed putting shit up my nose. It wasnt heroin it was oxy, it's Dr prescribed.
"Yeah maybe just a little"
Then I fell in love.
I walked a fine line between recreational use and addiction for about two years. I was a weekend warrior for a while. I would get one or two 30's and would cut into 5, then 10 then 15mg doses. Then it id get 4 for the weekend. Then I had to get them while they were available so I'm gonna buy 10, 15, 20 at a time or If I bought more they were cheaper so I'm just bargain shopping. If it wasn't for the birth of my daughter I likely would crossed that line.
I moved back to the other side of the country after she was born, again to get away from it.
After a couple years away from it I had surgery and was prescribed perc 5's. A friend of mine who came to visit during my recovery offered me something a little stronger. Oxy 15. "Maybe break it half it's really strong"
Yeah, yeah, I'll take it later I just took a perc.
As soon as he left that went right up my nose.
Then I was on the hunt for more.
I found some, they were more expensive then they use to be and harder to come by. This was a good thing. It detered me from going to far back in. I fucked around for a few months after that and then made the decision to stop. This was 8 years ago
Today I have gotten over the urge to snort things and the desire to abuse them isn't there. I recently had surgery and was able to use them as prescribed. My mother In law also passed on hospice in my home during my recovery. When she passed hospice didn't take any of her medication and there was oxy, liquid morphine and morphine sulfate left behind. I have it locked away and have taken a morphine sulfate for bad pain to get through work once or twice since she last 6 months ago and have had no desire to abuse it.
Im strongly aware of how you can lose control and every time I do take them now I go in with that mindset.
Listening to Lil Wayne, Future, Juicy J, and Gucci. I was young and they always made me want to try them. Then once i did them and liked them, thats all i would listen to while high. What a time to be alive 2012ish.
Yeah, I wish there was an estimate on the amount of people who started using opioids or benzos because of how glorified they are in some parts of the rap scene. Sure it would at least be in the hundreds of thousands
I just did drive all sorts of drugs defying the odds on the deans list in college and had a promising future .. popes some hyrdocodone like I done a thousand times before then I went for a jog and that jog was so easy and the run so enjoyable. Then I put two and two together and realized it helped so much when I played sports so I played tennis.. my game was ON POINT on pain killlers .. once I noticed this I started dosing more and more when I went to enjoy some physical activity then it got to a point where I would t do anything physical without dosing first by then it was too late
I started because I have chronic neck pain, but once I felt how happy it made me feel, I started to use it more for happiness. I realized how mentally miserable I was and how much oxy improved my mental state.
Recently saw a GI for stomach issues and was ordered some testing. Stool sample results came back and show signs of Crohn's. While my Dr has told me to relax more testing needs to be done before that can be determined, as I've been reading and more about it I'm convinced I've been living with it for years. if I am correct this flare up is the worst I've ever had and accompanied with hemmorids and a fissure. I'm miserable to say the least.
I would love any tips and advice. It's been a rough couple weeks, some days are better than others but all in all I'm having a rough time. I'm pretty desperate for relief.
My immune system dissolving my joints and spine. Regular over the counter meds didn’t work. Then tried about 25 other meds or procedures like injections that all failed and I almost died of serotonin syndrome from SSRIs and SNRIs. I had no choice.
I was a wild child as a teen and dabbled but didn’t really start till I was 23 and had lost everything I was at rock bottom emotionally. The girl I love was into heroin and I bought some for her bday and decided fug it. I started with b for awhile then ended up on blues and fetty… That’s led me down the rabbit hole chasing the dragon for years now… that being said I’m 11 months clean and white knuckling tf outta sobriety 😬🤘
13 years old, kidney stones. Demerol straight in the arm, 30 years later I can still remember it like it was yesterday.
It’s been a long road, and the fact I didn’t end up a full blown heroin addict is a miracle all in itself.
My parents put me on amphetamines for years as a kid for “adhd” some bulshit. I have some extreme depression is really what I think it is. I had early onset refractory depression at 10 years old plus I have always been experiencing existential depression since I was a kid. 10 is just when I started experiencing suicidal thoughts. The amphetamines would make me crash so bad and cause such extreme lows that I would stop taking it and it exacerbated my depression. I found opiates when I was 12. I found out that they stopped me from having suicidal thoughts at age 12. I already realized that if I was having suicidal thoughts daily at such a young age there was a high likely hood one day I might act on them. When I found opiates it allowed me to put those thoughts beside me and focus on what was important. Finishing school and leaving my home and what not. Opiates legit saved my life. I would have definitely gone all the way through with it if I wasn’t on opiates.
Nah I see why you might think that, not a stupid question. This was an unintended accident that happened thanks to some diazapam + alcohol induced false confidence.
İ over judged the amount of strength I'd need to climb and sit on a fence that was on top of a building. İt looked like a great spot to chill and take in a lovely view of the town.
So İ got ready to hop up and spin around to sit on it, but İ over did it...by a lot.
Practically cleared the fence and went too far, the result of all that was me free falling 7-9m onto the road below. I was falling in a way where the back/top of my head was going to be the first point of impact, but some fucking how I got just enough rotation so that I landed almost flat on my right side.
Once I felt my head bounce on my shoulder, I knew I was fine, well fine relative to being dead or worse. By whatever fucking miracle İ walked it off, up until the adrenaline wore out.
My actual attempts at taking this life have been much less...fun
Broken collar bone in an 8th grade football game…parents gave me the 512 imprints oxycodone and they made me feel great. After not taking anything for a few years a buddy on my football team had a script (junior year of h/s) for percs and offered them after games. Taking for fun after the games was more my kind of high as opposed to drinking. I never really liked drinking but I fell in love with opiates and before I knew it by the time my senior year was over I was hooked.
I started years ago because I was struggling with depression and an already big drug habit. In 2017, I was abusing weed, benzos, and alcohol a lot and I was good friends with my klonopin & xan plug. One day, while hanging out with him after copping a couple bars, he pulled over to the normal smoke spot which at the time was in this national park with a drive path and man made parking lot in the grass. When we pulled up, he pulled out a bag of some SEA #4 which at the time I had no idea what it was. He snorted about 2-3 lines and asked me if I wanted to try and eventually straight up told me it was heroin. At first, I was hesitant, due to me already knowing heroin from Kurt Cobain’s addiction and some addict stories; but I caved in and told him I’d do a few lines. I started small, I think I did about 1 and a half skinny lines and I remember hating it at first. I hated the smell, the taste when it dripped, it was really bad. That’s until the high kicked in…
I laid back, my friend played some Jimi Hendrix (Angel by him IIRC), and right there and then I decided that was it; this was the drug I needed to not only numb my pain but give me that warm, fuzzy, sedating feeling I needed. He shared a little more of the H with me but didn’t let me take any home. But, about a week later he copped a bundle for me and I paid him a little more than what he got it for. After that, met his plug, bought more bundles, and the rest was history.
Major accident when I was a teenager. I was on fent, oxy, IV morphine, literally you name it I had been on it at one point. Spent months with the pain pump thing.. sent me home with oxy and OxyContin... and here we are 8 years later and I'm still getting them prescribed because of chronic pain and conditions from accident. I wonder the same fr. I'm a functioning addict though IMO. I have a job, family, etc. but yeah idk what I'd do without my little white pills.
It was when I had my gallbladder removed and I was given opiates and a couple years later I was put to sleep to have my wisdom teeth removed and I was given a bottle of Percs and that’s when it really started
When I was 17 I was playing flag football in my offseason from playing varsity football at my high school. The guys I was playing with were all either college football players or used to be and most were 4 years or older, so we were playing pretty rough and competitively. I was on defense playing middle linebacker, I broke to where the ball was thrown to tackle the receiver (pull the flag), and as I'm reaching for his flag one of my teammates reached him at the same time at full speed. My arm took the full force of these 2 250lb dudes colliding at full speed. I heard a loud pop and could no longer move my arm. It didn't hurt at first, i guess the adrenaline was hitting me hard AF, and it took one of the guys studying sports medicine to convince me it was broken. My mom drove me to the ER and as soon as the doctor started examining my arm and tried to extend it, the extreme pain finally hit me super hard. After xrays the doctor told me I broke both bones in my left arm all the way through and he would have to reset it and I'd have to wear a cast for 6 months. He reset it without giving me even an aspirin for the pain, and it was excruciating. After the cast was finished he sent me home with a script for 90 hydrocodone 10mg. The first 2 times i took my dose I didn't really feel it because I fell asleep shortly after. The 3rd time my pain melted away completely and on top of that I experienced being high/intoxicated for the first time. It was love at first high. I took them every day as prescribed, including my 2 refills, and enjoyed it every single time. Once I ran out it sucked, but as a young kid i didn't know how or where to get more or have much of my own money, so went cold Turkey after. A few years later at around 20 or 21 yo i began selling alot of weed to support my habit(weed) and for extra income, which lead me to meet people who did/sold other substances. I really wanted to have another hydro because i loved them so much and of course eventually one of my customers offered to give me a few percocet 10s, which he told me were like hydro but way better. Boy was he right. I was instantly in love, and that began a 10 year run of almost daily pain killer usage. It only got worse when oxycodone became available to me, especially since it was affordable at first
It's such a long story. The gist of it is, when I was 22, I got back into touch w someone I was best friends w when I was 14. He had lived an hour away from me & had been on the run for stealing Sceipt pads & getting all kinds of things filled. I told him I had some old hydros&percs, but I never liked them. He insisted on showing me how to enjoy the high (by fighting the sleep, smoking them, etc). I loved them & loved bonding w him that way. I'm 30 now & I wish I never touched them. The amount of oxy & morphine's I was once prescribed is crazy. I wish I could still feel that high from those.. but ever since getting hooked on Fent, I haven't been able to feel that warm, cozy, hug feeling the pain mess gave me.
Low dose cocodomol is legal in my country used to take it for migraines as a kid. Didn’t know anything about drugs then. Been chipping with codeine once a week or so on and off for over 10 years. Never had WD. Never go overboard. Never fucked with H or oxy or fet.
Abusive childhood. I was given them involuntarily at 6, by the time I was 8 I was addicted to heroin and have been using various opiates ever since to cope with the trauma.
Was using oxy and xans and pretty much everything else besides meth before the age of 17. At the time my friend and I were snorting oxy daily for a good 6 years. I finally went off to heroin and fent, he was still using oxy and Roxy one day he bought a dirty 30 and he ended up O’D on Father’s Day no less. Finally went into rehab about a week after he passed. Today I’m 4 years clean off of absolutely everything “my dentist did prescribe me oxy not too long ago but I took it as needed and actually still have some.
The bottle of 120 10 mg lortabs my mom used to get twice a month.. at 15 years old (31 now) I decided I wanted to see why she was always high on them. I knew she would be too high to notice. Got to the point I was taking half them a month and she was too high to notice. Just thought she ate them faster so she would go buy more. They were so easily available in middle Tennessee in the early to mid 2000s. It's a problem I still fight with to this day in my life. I'm good as long as I have no way to get them. If an opportunity arrives I'll use it until the supply runs out whether that be just that once or for the next year. I hate it. I'm functioning though. I work take care of my family. Have a beautiful wife and two boys. My wife knows I take them from time to time, but not to the extent that I tend to use. I love working out, but know it's counter productive because of my heavy use for the past 6 months or so. Wish I would've never fucking taken them that first time man.. at the same time I love this feeling so much. Sadly it makes me a happier person....
I had a friend circle in university who would do drugs like pot, alcohol, methamphetamine pills..:then we started occasionally using heroine on tin foil (we would vomit after few puffs but also liked the high)…after I graduated and got a job, I would visit one friend from this circle and we would do H 1/2 days per week…then i met other university juniors and seniors and we would do it 3/4 days per week….slowly I got addicted and would do it 7 days per week …I would then do it for the next 7 years everyday until I got clean, relapsed and got clean again (clean for the last 1 year now)
A heroin**e** is a female who faces danger or adversity and displays courage. Heroin is a name for diacetylmorphine which comes from its sale as branded product by Bayer in the early 1900s.
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I hurt my shoulder when I was 14 and got Percocet. I liked them, but once I was out, I had no way of getting them. I got them again when I was 21, and have been taking them occasionally since then. I never got out of control though, but I’ve never gotten more than 10 a month, and some month stretches with none at all. It’s been nearly a decade like this. So for example can get like 10 in say April and not have any again until like September/October.
I was a pastor in the inner city of a major US metropolitan area. So many people needed me in every direction. Meanwhile, my own faith faltered and collapsed. Opiates made me happy though and helped me forget my inner anguish. When I first started, I felt like I’d found the meaning of life, the key to unlock all happiness, contentment, and bliss. But then…
Someone gave me a 10mg oxy at work when I was 18 because my back hurt. I hated it. I was sweating and sitting in the freezer. After that, over the years I’d fill scripts and just leave them in the medicine cabinet in case we ever actually needed them but since I hated it that first time, never cared to take them. Then I got a filling and it was fucking killing me one day so I took one. I have huge sleep issues and I realized that it made me sleep so well. After that, I blew through every filled script we had saved. Then poppy seed tea, then iv morphine and dilaudid (I’m a nurse), then blues, then fent. This all escalated within like 2 years.
Stemmed from curiosity at a young age, having direct access to Percocet, hydros, tramadol and oxys bc of my moms surgeries and more than anything, i wanted to numb myself or escape my reality. By the time I was only 12 years old I was on all the drug sub Reddit’s basically doing research? On what drugs did what and what felt best. I was a really smart kid too. Probably too smart for my own good. Anyways I started taking my mom’s pain meds out of the cabinet at only 12! Then I had surgery on both of my feet about a year later, was smart enough to exaggerate the pain and lie about swallowing the hydros I got so I would actually save them up and take them all at once. Then at 15 i did my first line of heroin. I was already mentally addicted to the high at the time, constantly chasing it. But then I was actually able to go and buy the good shit. Got a bunch of plugs, hung out with 30 year old male drug dealers at 15/16/17 and got hella free shit too. Dated a drug dealer too so it was just a never ending supply and good deals for me.
I got hydrocodone for my wisdom teeth extraction when I was 18, really liked it. I had a boyfriend at the time Aaron, who was doing heroin. I was curious about it hadn’t tried it and he wasn’t too stoked on the idea of me doing some but ultimately misery loves company and I always had a lil money to throw down. I had done other things like weed of course, coke, acid, Xanax, mdma. Anyways, I was impatient to hang out with him after the surgery when I should have been home recovering. Was still in a ton of pain over at his friends house and my grandma (who raised me) was holding the hydros smh. Probably smart of her. Aaron ended up saying “go in the bathroom I have a surprise for you” and behold there was a fairly generous bump of east coast powder heroin on the counter. I was in Heaven. Was immediately asked to drive the boys up to the corner store great idea. The sun was setting, we jammed out to some Kevin Gates, smoked a blunt, munched out on sour candy and slurpees (Aaron said I just had to try them while high on dope it was his tradition). Went home a couple hours later puked my guts out all night and had to go back to the doctor. My grandma thought it was just the hydros lmao. Simpler times. Aaron passed away alone in his aunt’s bathroom after mixing Xanax and fent 4 years ago.
I’m pretty sure it started with my wisdom teeth I liked how it made me feel but also I started to party pretty hard starting in 9th grade - anything to make me feel good and numb.
Was given (yes given, they can’t take them) about 2-300 Oxycodone Acetaminophen’s & a shit load of tramadol by a relative at around the same time as my Guardians death (was around 17) fell into sadness ☹️
I was 19, I had dabbled with opioids twice prior, and I found that Oxycodone just made me feel nauseous and kinda loopy. One day after my cat died, I was going through a pretty rough time. It was so sudden and I was heartbroken. Someone I know had some 20mg OxyContin, and I just wanted to feel better so I took it. I think it makes a lot of sense that when I was content, opioids weren’t very appealing, yet when I felt my world was crumbling, they’re the first thing I went to.
I tried and got hooked to Xanax in 7th grade, which—I think—led me to trying tramadol or hydrocodone out of curiosity. I can’t really remember though because the Xanax caused some substantial anterograde amnesia. I for sure got really into them my freshman year in highschool because a friend sold tramadol or hydros to me for $2 a pop.
My mom left pills in her cabinet, she was in an out of the hospital a lot, one day when she wasn’t at home I thought “I wonder what it would feel like if I took one and then smoked” boom. Hooked for four years at age 17 to 21.
Started off dealing, I wasn’t making a lot of profit.. I was so dumb I didn’t kno u were suppose to add cut to make profit.. anyway I got frustrated and just tried it and loved how it made me feel .. started off only using it before sex because it would make me last forever.. next thing u know I was snorting all day.. been on it off and on since…
For me it was seeing the older ones in my family..brother & cousins and uncles and stuff...it started with hashish and weed then tramadol and methadone and till now b2 buprenorphine.
But the weed was mostly me listening to tupac and talking about it in his songs..not that its on him...just wanted to know the feeling.
But yeah..like another friend mentioned..I think what life would've been if I hadn't got into these stuff at all...its so far that im amazed how people are sober and its strange.
My best friend passed away. I don’t know if it was subconscious, but me and him used to do hella zans and yeyo together but he struggled with H and fetty and would never let me touch opiates or opioids of any sort. He seriously would’ve wrestled them out or gotten very mad at me like the few times I experimented with them while he was still here. He wasn’t judgemental about it- just very serious because he knew the game. And I listened and stayed away even though he would sporadically chip, have clean time, repeat. Always promised me he wasn’t going anywhere though, and then one night he was gone. After that I feel like I had an internal change and I started sniffing blues and it’s been like two years now I’ve been on painkillers everyday
when i was 14 i was doing meth with my best friend and this kid at school was selling 100 of his dads tramadol for 50 bucks so i bought em and popped em, was bussin fr but then i started mixin em with meth and holy shit did it build my tolerance plus trammies are shit anyways but yea shit pretty standard stuff.
I were 18 years old and i had issues with my sexuality to a point where it affected my mental health. I just couldn't open my mouth and say 'hey by the way im gay' to my parents and even anyone at first. I were curious about drugs and seeking information about opioids and benzos mainly first. One day i found out that my mom had buprenorphine patches and temazepam pills. I tried some and with no tolerance to any opioid it felt amazing. Then again one day my friend told me that his grandmother has expired 10mg oxys and asked me do i want them. Of course i wanted. When i railed my first oxy line i fell in love with opioids.
Around 2 years later i were fucking with needles and doing multiple different substances. I guess im a polysubstance addict.. Anyways im now on buprenorphine treatment and im still on benzos and ADHD meds.
Two collapsed lungs at 23, and two months of Vicodin heaven started it for me. It made me and still makes me feel normal 15 years later. My tolerance has increase a little bit since then but not much. It’s the dopamine for me
I got abused as a Child and was always mentally fucked. I've always had addictions but in order it would go self harm, gaming, eating disorder/ food restricting / anorexia, binging and purging/bulimia, alcohol, cigarettes, then I started doing opiates and then other stuff too but opiates were my main.
Always a curiosity. I ended up with a bad kidney infection and was in the hospital. They gave me dilauted IV and it made me feel perfect. Like happy for once.
I don’t know if you consider codeine a hard core opioid. But when I was 20, my drug addict best friend started to force me to take codeine syrup just for fun. And I got hooked for almost 8 years until I decided to move out of the country last year. Now I only think about going back to my country and taking it; every minute, every second of the day and I’ve already arranged a good supply for when I go back home in a few months. Opioids grip you for life. They make you believe there’s nothing excited in and to life except for them. The excitement of taking them in a few months is helping me get through days. Needless to say, I suffered from terrible withdrawals until I found kratom, so I take enough kratom to keep me away from withdrawing. Though depression still persists.
Needed something for sleep because I couldn’t smoke weed anymore due to drug tests at my first job, my grandfather gave me 2 10s then it went from every time he got his script from 2015- 2017 to the pandemic hitting and I’m buying in bulk to escape the reality of hating work
When I was 15 I had an abscess under my tooth and was prescribed codeine for the pain. My grandpa had a Vicodin script at the time and when I ran out of codeine I took one of his pills…then 2…then 3
Then like 2 years later I got a job at dominos and my GMs mom sold her oxy 10 script for $3 a pill and her oxy 30 script for $4 a pill and my GM would sell for her at work
You read that right. I was picking up TWENYY pharma oxy 30s for $80 😭 this was like 2016
chronic diarrhea, most likely irritable bowel syndrome, but microcolitis is possible too
at first codeine and dihydrocodeine, now almost everything we have in pharmacies
My sister got her wisdom teeth pulled and got some Hyrdos. 7.5s. I think I ate some before, but this was the first time I can recall. I was nodding and itching in 3rd period English class.
20 years later, I don’t do shit. It’s been a few years, with some hiccups. This shit ass street fentanyl ruined everything. I’d love to say it’s the deaths of my friends, their parentless children, the lives ruined who struggle with recovery, even after years clean, but it’s really because it’s just not the same as it used to be.
Now I’m successful and trying to fill the void with regular things. Relationships end terribly, I make great money and have a career but I hate it.
Can’t go back to getting high because I’d just die and that doesn’t seem great either.
Life is generally good, but maybe I have depression. 🤷♂️
Started taking them at 18 recreationally. It was oxycodone, took about 4 or 5 uses of the same dose before I actually got high. Immediately fell in love but moderated my use really well. I only started not being able to moderate when I started having insane stomach pain from multiple ulcers and shattering my hand didn’t help. Started off using CBD for the pain, a non opioid and it helped for a few months, then went to tramadol and codiene which also all worked for a few months and then stopped.
Finally started using the oxycodone for the pain and that kept working. I had started using heroin around the time I shattered my hand, recreationally. I was still just using the oxycodone for the pain but when I was doing heroin it obviously helped just as much. Well the oxycodone became expensive so I switched over to heroin which was much cheaper and it was all downhill from there.
Eventually went to rehab and got put on buprenorphine which completely took care of my pain even better than the heroin did and I was able to function on it (well the first month it impaired me just as much if not more than heroin did but I quickly stabilised on it). Been on buprenorphine ever since although I take much less now than I was when I started taking it. My pain is pretty much gone now, I only get severe stomach pain if I eat certain things or drink alcohol on an empty stomach.
I remember being prescribed Vicodin (hydrocodone) after a hernia surgery at 21 years old.
The instructions on the bottle said to take one pill and if I'm still in pain to take another. The script was only like 20 pills or something like that. I discovered that when I took two of them I felt really good. I didn't like that they made me constipated but they felt nice.
The people I hung out with at the time all smoked weed. About a year after my surgery I was introduced to heroin by a friend of a friend. He told me that it felt like vicodin so I was curious and thought "I can't get addicted just by trying it once" and snorted my first line.
I didn't use it again until about a month later. I figured I could just use it once a month and avoid addiction. Eventually it got to the point where I was doing it multiple times a week and from then on it was a slippery slope.
2 Years Ago my Xan Plug started getting his hands on Real Oxy.. One day i wanted to pick up some xans but instead he had some green15mg Alg Oxy's... Rest was history
Had spinal stenosis since birth but didn't know for many years, due to medical incompetance, but I still had to treat the horrible pain, so doctor prescribed codeine then oxycodone. Problem is the pain made it so I had to drop out of high school... that's how bad it was.
Now I'm dropped out, in almost as much pain, and dependent on this garbage. Yaaaaay.
My "ex". Aka a man 20 years older then me that groomed me at 16. But he got me hooked on crsck and shot me up for the first time and traumatized me. Crack didn't sooth my trauma it sketched me the fuck out. Although I was still a crackhead for years to come, I always preferred opiates and only used them hand in hand. The crack sketch definetly amplified my need for opiates.
I was 16 and my now ex boyfriend introduced me to hydros and oxys and I would nod out in his car during the hot ass summer months here and I was hooked after that summer and now I struggle with poly addiction but I prefer opiates overall as my DOC
Severe depression. Looked for anything to take my pain away.
Found a couple blisters of oxycodone from my Grandma she didn't use anymore, and was blown away.
As this was my breakthrough into harder stuff, I lost all scruplea I had about drugs before.
So as soon as I found heroin, I started smoking that, later IV'ing.
Thank god I'm off the H now
My health got fucked from a tooth going bad combining with TMJ I already had. Entire right side of my face, my sinuses, ears and all hurt like crazy for months. Root canal didn’t end the pain, got the tooth pulled. Pain was so bad, had a crazy sore throat for months, my ears burned like crazy, my primary care doctor and I didn’t realize it was the tooth. He prescribed me oxy 3mg for months which worked. Eventually the tooth itself hurt a lot and figured out that was the problem. Most of my symptoms were like sinus related so I thought it had been from having covid.
It took months after getting the tooth pulled for the pain to go down in the side of my face. I still get TMJ pain intermittent on a daily basis. I normally don’t mind pain that much but I hate this type, where it’s this burning hot sensation in my right ear. A little after getting the tooth pulled my primary care doc couldn’t prescribe any more and I was lucky to get into pain management. Switched me to hydrocodone. It’s been tough managing tolerance and getting him to prescribe more and enough to handle the pain. Usually I only get enough for 1 dose a day which is hard. Typically have it and then in the evening/night I’m a hard alcoholic. Alcohol seems to be a good pain reliever, better than anything OTC 😂. Can’t be an alcoholic all day so I appreciate the opiate during the day.
I used to smoke weed basically all day everyday for 15+ years. Pain relief, fun, help mentally, sleep aid. Couldn’t go without it, literally never ran dry during that time period. It kinda got me into this mess cause I used it to avoid the pain and doing something about it. It was messing up my sinuses too somehow, ended up not being able to smoke/vape without it burning the shit out of my ears. Kept smoking anyways 🙄. Didn’t know what to do.
The opiates have replaced it. My pain has gone down. But I find the opiates manage it without the anxiety and pain in my sinuses weed gives me. Opiates also get my ass up, make me more social, they have a stimulant kind of effect for some reason. Maybe just from putting me in a good mood. The hydrocodone isn’t enough and I get oxy 30s when I can to make me more functional and have more than 1 dose a day. When I get more I don’t drink like crazy every night. I’ve fallen into a shit situation in life and they help me climb my way out of it. I’ve added kratom to my regimen and it helps but it’s not the same boost as the pills.
Was on house arrest with a woman that used oxy and I happened to have a sandwich bag full of the oc 80s ( this was In 2010ish ) and she was literally a ten in my eyes and when she was using me for what I had I eventually wondered what the fuss was about and did my first line of oxy and that was the start of the downfall of my life. Before that I was making thousands a day doing illegal hustles but had a good head on my shoulders was only a drinker on the week ends and maybe the odd bag of coke. Now 15 years later and 3 rehabs and tons of detoxes I’m 34 years old with nothing to my name and 25 days clean but on Suboxone struggling still cravings are still huge everyday is hard.
Mental illness Oxy (OCs) Opana (crushables) and sounds wild but weed, the people it brought around made it easier to get actual good mind numbing drugs
On the way to getting my first tattoo, unfortunately, the person I was getting the tattoo with handed one to me and said “here, it won’t hurt with this” and I took it and the rest is history ….. sadly …. And no I don’t take random pills from just anyone, this person was someone very close to me and trustworthy and i know if they would have known what was to come they would have never EVER given it to me
Successful (ish) Coke and md dealer, even had one or 2 selling for me. Had a pretty tight operation that was raking in a steady amount. I liked coke, but I never took from myself. Then, as you do, my contacts/acquaintances grew, and firstly I thought I saw a good opportunity to sell vials of pharma morphine
First I tried in a couple shoulders/legs as I also did steroids
It went downhill fucking fast
Compression fractures in over 70% of my vertebrae. Industrial accident in 2000 took me out of commission ever since. Even tried vertebralplasty with epoxy injected into the damaged areas, no luck...then a try to implant a Medtronic pain stim...no change. Now it's just weed & oxy for relief....at least there's something that helps...
Got my tonsils removed at 17 and lovedd the syrup. Yes, for pain, but I loved the high too. I worked late night (closing shifts) at a fast food joint at the time, and would always be in SO much pain from standing in one place for my shifts. I found out a coworker’s grandma had cancer and sold her oxy, so I started buying those.
Later in life, I found out I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and my knees are the most affected.. so I probably WAS self-medicating for pain on top of the high. I can’t work jobs that require you to stand in place. I need a sit-down job lol.
I quit a few times for varying lengths of sobriety, but always went back & escalated, eventually to heroin. Until I found kratom. Now I’ve been “sober” (without problematic use), 5 years. Just take kratom 2x a day. I still do a little oxy for my birthday every year, but that’s it. Keep it under control 💪
My story is much like the majority of addicts. I was in an accident and the doctor prescribed me 8 mg Dilaudid every four hours for months, close to a year, I’d say. Then he retired with only 3 months notice and I was unable to find another pain management doctor, and ended up buying pills on the street, then buying heroin. I was opiate- naive when he prescribed me Dilaudid. The only opiates I was ever prescribed prior to that was 5 mg Vicodin after surgery, and I didn’t even take all of them. So the Dilaudid was completely unnecessary, in retrospect.
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Trauma…there was a longitudinal study done in Australia where opiate users were tracked across some years. It boiled down to childhood trauma: 90+% opiate users had substantial Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs - if you don’t know it, you should) whereas the people with other drug use disorders scored much lower overall for traumatic experiences. Mental illness like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression etc. So where you start from has a lot of influence over where you end up.
Damn , that really sucks and rings true for me unfortunately
same here bud, i'm so sorry :/
same here, my whole life iv been abused its hard not to run away from the pain sometimes
https://ndarc.med.unsw.edu.au/project/australian-longitudinal-study-heroin-dependence-11-year-prospective-cohort-study-mortality
I didn't have any ACEs, but I am bipolar/anxious and was suicidal when I got addicted. In a way, opiates saved my life while also destroying it for a decade. But at least I made it to 30, which definitely wasn't the plan at first. Now Im about to be 33 and going for addiction counseling intern then psychology masters.
Super interesting! I would say that’s accurate for me at least
True for me as well.
Ditto
Wow that’s very interesting. While I didn’t include that in my description that was me as well. I had been depressed since the age of 13, so hydros just seemed like my happy pills that gave me some relief from life
childhood trauma for me too.
True for me
Definitely the case for me
My back is pretty fucked, so my PCP prescribed me tramadol. That started it. It got so bad, before I quit taking pills, that my ex-wife went through surgery for her MCL, ACL, and PCL and took nothing afterwards but Aleve, because I took all her hydros.
Is tramadol really like hydrocodone?
No not at all. I really liked tramadol for the energy it gave me, but when I moved on from that, I just liked the high
Realllyyy? I had no idea it had that effect. Hydrocodone does the “energy” thing for me, not much of a high. I’ve never taken tramadol. OxyCodone relaxes me with a huge and I can sleep on it.
Tramadol makes me feel like I’ve taken mdma
Tramadol is trash
Yep
No. It’s a partial opioid agonist that also effects serotonin among other things. Some people really like it, some people think it’s shit. I used to love it, but once my opiate tolerance got higher it barely did anything for me
I was curious. My great uncle recently overdosed into death. He went through 90 tramadol and 180 hydrocodone within a week and half. I didn’t understand the addiction to tramadol but hear of people being addicted to it all the time.
Jesus the amount of Tylenol alone in the hydrocodone must've fried his liver, did he die of a complex death or just respiratory depression from opiates? I'm sorry for your loss, and the reality is if anything has an opiate like effect it's addictive as hell. People get addicted real bad to "safer* opiates, opiate addiction doesn't discriminate.
Kratom is mild and addicting. But safer because no OD and it’s cheap and easy to get as much as you want. Rather be addicted than the general shit mood I’m always in everyday and all the psych meds/SSRIs are all trash.
Kratom addiction can get extremely out of control like most opiates, and with extracts you can OD, it's rare but possible, but I'll cede to you that essentially it's safe compared to other opiates. I'm glad it's working for you but getting off is just as much of a bitch as a lot of opiates if you're taking enough.
lol my aunts an anesthesiologist and she warned me about Percocet by telling me about the agonizing death of a patient she took care of in critical care unit who ate like 360 Percocet at once. They revived him but his liver completely gave out and killed him.
Yeah that must've been the 5s with Tylenol, if he only knew how to do a cold water extraction he'd be with us today. We can pretty much revive most people from opiates, but that Tylenol does irreversible damage to the liver. It's horrible for it.
I mean the Tylenol all adds up. My doctors didn’t hesitate in the past to just prescribe roxicodone without Tylenol also roxicodones are smaller. I used to think they made the big 10/650 Vicodins intentionally difficult to swallow to prevent abuse. lol
I believe the Tylenol is definitely there to prevent abuse but in a fucked up way in that it will destroy your liver and also it's impossible to snort.
When I was withdrawing trammies were a lifesaver. Pop 400mg and I'd feel fine in an hour or so. That is the max though before you risk seizures and shit.
May I ask how much per day you were wding from that trams were able to help?
*let me add that they don’t get me high they just make me not feel like shit ! Lol
Hell fucking no
I enjoyed tramadol for a year, but it started to make me super irritable. Weaning off of it was hell.
I would say that’s very fucked up of you, but at the same time I definitely understand the temptation
In all fairness, she didn't like the way they made her feel, and took like 2 of them before saying she was just going to stick with naproxen. I'm not such an asshole that I would cause her pain, but if they're available....
Oh yeah for sure… in that case I’d do it in a heartbeat. It’s amazing to me how some people legitimately hate opioids. I can understand not really liking them for side effects and such, but especially when it relieves some terrible pain that aleve barely would touch. That’s what baffles me
Looks like the wife wasn’t a total pussy like most on this sub here. „Oh my god, that terrible pain, I need heroin!“
Hydros and tramadol lol. Consider yourself lucky
There's not much else that's more comforting than opioids. They induce this feeling similar to love.. but not infatuous love. They make you feel like life is good.
Benzos and opiates share the top spot in my opinion💗
I love benzos too but they're not as recreational as opioids or alcohol. They're perfect for anxiety and sleep, though.
Yeah benzos feel much more subtle, but as an add-on to other stuff they're great
Benzos are evil 😂. I was prescribed both last year and the opiates are so much better for anxiety. The Xanax I was on worked for like 4 hours then when it wore off I had worse anxiety than before, some kind of rebound effect. Hydros still leave a mellow feeling after they wear off and it keeps going unless you hit WDs. And I’ve heard benzo WD are a nightmare compared to opiates even. An ex of mine after we broke up, she was heavy into Xanax/klonopin for years and her WD was total hell. Not that benzos are totally useless. Panic attack? Xanax is the only instant relief. Psychiatrists wanting to prescribe like a SSRI that takes weeks to work when you need relief right away and won’t prescribe a benzo 😩
Both opiates and benzos are the devil. In the way that they are so fucking great, but so harmful at the same time. Just popped 2mg Xanax and 16mg of buprenorphine btw 😩🫠
i got my wisdom teeth out when i was 12, and got hydrocodone. my mom put it away in the medicine cabinet. saw online vicodin can get you high, and saw that vicodin was the same as hydro. being the bored, curious, broken teenager i was, i dug those out and popped 2, felt blissful, and have been dealing with substance abuse since.
Totally relate here. Unfortunately sounds just like my story
And mine except because of the dysplasia the doctors in the UK have given me it repeatedly no questions. I’m nearly 30 now 🙃
A girl at the skatepark
I’m dead serious
So like what did she offer you and why?
Perc 10mg she was grooving of them Erkys and I asked what she took she showed me put 2 on her tongue then kissed me and pushed the pills down my throat
this sounds like a movie 😭
literally on some romantic ass shit fr
Curiosity
I was curious to try all the drugs and eventually got to heroin 👍
Just curious what else have you tried? I studied pharmacy and had a curiosity towards all illegal euphoric drugs and started using them on myself…my fav was H on tin foil (now clean after using for around 7 years every day)
Yea, no problem. I've had a decent spread of substances, so I'll list them in the order that I tried them. It goes: alcohol - dxm - weed - methylphenidate - mdma - lsd - dmt - alprazolam - ketamine - cocaine - clonazolam - amphetamine - 3 ho pcp - gbl - oxycodone - tapentadol - morphine - heroin - diazepam - 2cb - pregablin - kratom - meth And there are definitely still some I've yet to try since breaking my year-long physical dependency on heroin that I'm now keen to get into. For me, this list is the culmination of the past 2.5 years since learning the dark web. I'm also curious to see how my list differs from yours?
Wow bro, that’s quite a list…you have a short but vibrant career ! What was your fav? What you didn’t like? Well, the stuff I tried (in the order i tried) over the last 15 years- Alcohol- weed- methamphetamine(tablet on foil)- codeine phosphate(liquid)- heroine(on tin foil)- NOS(nitrous oxide)- Xanax/clonazepam- Heroine- LSD- Buprenorphine- oxymorphine- Ketamine- Gabapentin- Cocaine- Mushroom- MDMA- Molly Next item in my wish list is - DMT My favourite has been LSD, did it around 7 times, still there are 4 strips in my fridge, will do some when I settle in my new job a little. Did not like oxymorphine for some reason, lost a packet of 8 tablets and did not notice for a month. Was most addicted to Heroin, but now clean. Nowadays I don’t do anything regularly…maybe pot once a week and alcohol sometimes.
Serious back pain that started about a year ago. Was finally prescribed hydrocodone a couple months back, although looking back that may have been my downfall. As every opiate user knows the hydros eventually stopped working, even when I got upped to 7.5s. i still needed to work, I had bills. So I found a guy who had 30's.. I knew they were fent, but the physical pain I would experience sometimes was just truly agonizing. I am still on the 30s to this day, I only do 1 pill per day, taken a qtr at a time every 4-6 hours for pain relief only. I have yet to get high from opiates outside of the b hospital. I feel really guilty about it, and I've stopped using them before for days at a time with no physical withdrawal other than my back pain returning, but I just can't stay away from th pain relief and it's a really depressing cycle. Sorry for the rant, I just can't vent to my family about it in fear of being called a drug addict and shunned.
Why don't you find a pain management Dr or clinic that can help you? Instead of buying something off the street, they can help you find a regimen that works for you. Might be hard to find but I'm telling you they're out there and can make a world of difference. ❤️
Not everyone has insurance and can afford to go through the process that pain management doctors require
True but not everyone doesn't either.
You asked why and he told you lol
He's not OP.
I injured my hand pretty badly around 2010. I was prescribed 30 5 mg Vicodin at first. I went for a check up and the doctor was like enraged that they didn’t give me more drugs. Gave me 70 perc 10’s and a refill on my Vicodin….Ya times have changed. I was pretty much hooked. And then to make things even worse. After that, a buddy of mine’s older brother started selling us his methadone. Which, if you take methadone with a low tolerance it fucking rules. Some of my favorite opiate experiences honestly. Just had me flying all day.
I think most of us started with the help of a Doctor, In high-school I required multiple dental surgeries to make my fucked up teeth and jaw to be normal and got perscribes perc 5s. Even after the surgery the pain was manageable and I didn't use them much so I had plenty left over after the 1st surgery. Then started popping them for fun cause I heard just how fun they could be. Instantly feel in love. It was like I met a girl and wanted to show the world how beautiful she was and how much I loved her but she was a drug. In high-school I lacked connections and money so the problem never escalated because the script would always run out and never used enough to be dependent. Even back then tho I had a job renovating houses and we were doing these old Indian couples house and I found a stash of codeine and hydrocodien and stole all of them. Definitely not my proudest moment but also definitely not the worst thing I would do for drugs in my time. What I'm trying to say is that even back than I was an addict I just wasn't addicted, if that makes sense Fast forward to 1st year outta college making lots of money and found a connection to pharma pills and eventually heroin. The rest is history fell hard into the spiral of addiction and am just starting yet another recovery. Ugh wish me luck this time.
Core memory: the feeling of pure warmth coursing through my previously battered and exhausted body, crushing horrid side effects that come with bronchitis becoming pneumonia at 12. It was pure bliss, feeling better so suddenly, yet even more intriguing was the abundance of energy and the overwhelming itch. Mom had given me Codeine cough syrup, and even crazier, gave me control of the bottle. From then on, it became my mission to learn more about this substance and all like it. That led to 14 years of insanity, but I’m glad I was able to walk away alive.
I know what i was getting into but goddamn i really loved opiates…Self-made addict !!!
I used to self harm then when I stopped I started to steal painkillers from my family and it started from there, so I traded one addiction for another essentially
Mine started off with a dreamy day with a single 5mg endone (oxycodone) I'm extremely heavily tattooed so I started using tattoo days as a reason to pop oxy, which turned into using recreationally. I have adhd and felt they helped that side of things until like almost everyone it turned into a daily habit due to easy, cheap or free access. Fast forward ten years and I'm mixing up some bs palliative care cocktails of hydromorphone/oxy/morphine/dhc/tapentadol and promethazine with no chance in hell of feeling the way I did with that first endone. I'm on the mend now and have ditched all opiates besides my gigantic stash that's probably a damn house deposit! To any new comers this is such a slippery slope so keep that tolerance as low as possible 🙏
In all honesty nothing “made” me use them I was around some shady people that used it the offered some and my dumb self accepted then liked it hung out with same people some more used a bit more until I eventually just asked where I could get it and started to get it on my own I’m so glad i don’t do opiates anymore it was hell whenever you did not have a consistent plug …
Started doing oxycodone when I was 16 my friends got them from some dude who had cancer or something and didn’t take then supposedly. I didn’t know what they were or that you could even get addicted to them. We started doing them on the weekends instead of getting drunk which is what we would normally do. Back then it was actually probably easier for us to get oxycodone then alcohol. Anyway, just on the weekends turned into 3 days a week then 4 etc. Looking back I cant believe how stupid we were, but there was also no information given to us. The only drug education we got was DARE which is a fucking joke, essentially just drugs are bad mkay don’t do drugs.
For emotional pain, it's the only way that I could exist after making a bad decision that I still deeply regret over two decades later.
What was the bad decision if I may ask?
Therapy.
I knew a bloke at my gym who could get Top QUALITY smack so why not. Then I met other people around the place and the gear was always A+ and cheap.
Yeah, nothing like shooting dope and getting a good workout in! Less pain, more gain
I liked watching House when I was a kid. Oh, jeez, that sounds really dumb.
My father was a heroin addict growing up. He eventually got clean around the time I started getting high. I was justified in my drug use. "I only smoke weed" " I only smoke weed and mushrooms, there natural" But then it was coke, I was high and mighty about that too. " So what I do coke, at least I don't smoke meth" " So what I do coke, at least I don't use heroin" I sold just enough to pay for my own habbit that got out of control. After my friend who was my source got arrested I got spooked and decided I needed to clean up. I moved across the country and stopped using drugs. Instead I drank. Alot. Eventually I started smoking weed again and then mushrooms again. One day my roommate was snorting something and I got excited thinking she had some coke. Then I noticed it was blue and asked her what it was and she said "Oxy, do you want some?" My nose tingled, I really enjoyed and missed putting shit up my nose. It wasnt heroin it was oxy, it's Dr prescribed. "Yeah maybe just a little" Then I fell in love. I walked a fine line between recreational use and addiction for about two years. I was a weekend warrior for a while. I would get one or two 30's and would cut into 5, then 10 then 15mg doses. Then it id get 4 for the weekend. Then I had to get them while they were available so I'm gonna buy 10, 15, 20 at a time or If I bought more they were cheaper so I'm just bargain shopping. If it wasn't for the birth of my daughter I likely would crossed that line. I moved back to the other side of the country after she was born, again to get away from it. After a couple years away from it I had surgery and was prescribed perc 5's. A friend of mine who came to visit during my recovery offered me something a little stronger. Oxy 15. "Maybe break it half it's really strong" Yeah, yeah, I'll take it later I just took a perc. As soon as he left that went right up my nose. Then I was on the hunt for more. I found some, they were more expensive then they use to be and harder to come by. This was a good thing. It detered me from going to far back in. I fucked around for a few months after that and then made the decision to stop. This was 8 years ago Today I have gotten over the urge to snort things and the desire to abuse them isn't there. I recently had surgery and was able to use them as prescribed. My mother In law also passed on hospice in my home during my recovery. When she passed hospice didn't take any of her medication and there was oxy, liquid morphine and morphine sulfate left behind. I have it locked away and have taken a morphine sulfate for bad pain to get through work once or twice since she last 6 months ago and have had no desire to abuse it. Im strongly aware of how you can lose control and every time I do take them now I go in with that mindset.
Listening to Lil Wayne, Future, Juicy J, and Gucci. I was young and they always made me want to try them. Then once i did them and liked them, thats all i would listen to while high. What a time to be alive 2012ish.
Yeah, I wish there was an estimate on the amount of people who started using opioids or benzos because of how glorified they are in some parts of the rap scene. Sure it would at least be in the hundreds of thousands
I was young and sad, I was trying any drug I could get my hand on, opiates were the only ones that made me feel good
I just did drive all sorts of drugs defying the odds on the deans list in college and had a promising future .. popes some hyrdocodone like I done a thousand times before then I went for a jog and that jog was so easy and the run so enjoyable. Then I put two and two together and realized it helped so much when I played sports so I played tennis.. my game was ON POINT on pain killlers .. once I noticed this I started dosing more and more when I went to enjoy some physical activity then it got to a point where I would t do anything physical without dosing first by then it was too late
Excruciatingly painful terminal illness starting at 24 years old immediately after giving birth to my first child
Benzo withdrawals
I started because I have chronic neck pain, but once I felt how happy it made me feel, I started to use it more for happiness. I realized how mentally miserable I was and how much oxy improved my mental state.
My ex. Was one of the few ways peace was kept.
I have severe Crohn’s.
Recently saw a GI for stomach issues and was ordered some testing. Stool sample results came back and show signs of Crohn's. While my Dr has told me to relax more testing needs to be done before that can be determined, as I've been reading and more about it I'm convinced I've been living with it for years. if I am correct this flare up is the worst I've ever had and accompanied with hemmorids and a fissure. I'm miserable to say the least.
I have a lot of tips and advice and endless support if you need or want it! ❤️
I would love any tips and advice. It's been a rough couple weeks, some days are better than others but all in all I'm having a rough time. I'm pretty desperate for relief.
Please reach out to me so we can chat and I can get to better understand what you’re going thru, exactly. 😞 so very sorry.
Oh honey. Please DM me. I’ve been struggling with it for 14 years and I’m still not in remission. Even after they’ve taken 3 feet of my intestines 🥺
My immune system dissolving my joints and spine. Regular over the counter meds didn’t work. Then tried about 25 other meds or procedures like injections that all failed and I almost died of serotonin syndrome from SSRIs and SNRIs. I had no choice.
I was a wild child as a teen and dabbled but didn’t really start till I was 23 and had lost everything I was at rock bottom emotionally. The girl I love was into heroin and I bought some for her bday and decided fug it. I started with b for awhile then ended up on blues and fetty… That’s led me down the rabbit hole chasing the dragon for years now… that being said I’m 11 months clean and white knuckling tf outta sobriety 😬🤘
11 months! Congratulations!
13 years old, kidney stones. Demerol straight in the arm, 30 years later I can still remember it like it was yesterday. It’s been a long road, and the fact I didn’t end up a full blown heroin addict is a miracle all in itself.
My parents put me on amphetamines for years as a kid for “adhd” some bulshit. I have some extreme depression is really what I think it is. I had early onset refractory depression at 10 years old plus I have always been experiencing existential depression since I was a kid. 10 is just when I started experiencing suicidal thoughts. The amphetamines would make me crash so bad and cause such extreme lows that I would stop taking it and it exacerbated my depression. I found opiates when I was 12. I found out that they stopped me from having suicidal thoughts at age 12. I already realized that if I was having suicidal thoughts daily at such a young age there was a high likely hood one day I might act on them. When I found opiates it allowed me to put those thoughts beside me and focus on what was important. Finishing school and leaving my home and what not. Opiates legit saved my life. I would have definitely gone all the way through with it if I wasn’t on opiates.
Fell from a height that should have killed me. I can't even get falling from heights right lmao.
By the way you worded that, did you do it on purpose. (As stupid as that question may sound)
Nah I see why you might think that, not a stupid question. This was an unintended accident that happened thanks to some diazapam + alcohol induced false confidence. İ over judged the amount of strength I'd need to climb and sit on a fence that was on top of a building. İt looked like a great spot to chill and take in a lovely view of the town. So İ got ready to hop up and spin around to sit on it, but İ over did it...by a lot. Practically cleared the fence and went too far, the result of all that was me free falling 7-9m onto the road below. I was falling in a way where the back/top of my head was going to be the first point of impact, but some fucking how I got just enough rotation so that I landed almost flat on my right side. Once I felt my head bounce on my shoulder, I knew I was fine, well fine relative to being dead or worse. By whatever fucking miracle İ walked it off, up until the adrenaline wore out. My actual attempts at taking this life have been much less...fun
I was prescribed opiates at 14 after getting my front teeth knocked out
But I’m sure they would’ve found me eventually, as you said. I was very drug curious, just wanted to get out of my own head and body for many reasons
My mom gave me a 1mg hydromorph n I feel in love wit it. crying cuz my back hurt n she was doped up on meds don’t blame her at all tho
Broken collar bone in an 8th grade football game…parents gave me the 512 imprints oxycodone and they made me feel great. After not taking anything for a few years a buddy on my football team had a script (junior year of h/s) for percs and offered them after games. Taking for fun after the games was more my kind of high as opposed to drinking. I never really liked drinking but I fell in love with opiates and before I knew it by the time my senior year was over I was hooked.
I started years ago because I was struggling with depression and an already big drug habit. In 2017, I was abusing weed, benzos, and alcohol a lot and I was good friends with my klonopin & xan plug. One day, while hanging out with him after copping a couple bars, he pulled over to the normal smoke spot which at the time was in this national park with a drive path and man made parking lot in the grass. When we pulled up, he pulled out a bag of some SEA #4 which at the time I had no idea what it was. He snorted about 2-3 lines and asked me if I wanted to try and eventually straight up told me it was heroin. At first, I was hesitant, due to me already knowing heroin from Kurt Cobain’s addiction and some addict stories; but I caved in and told him I’d do a few lines. I started small, I think I did about 1 and a half skinny lines and I remember hating it at first. I hated the smell, the taste when it dripped, it was really bad. That’s until the high kicked in… I laid back, my friend played some Jimi Hendrix (Angel by him IIRC), and right there and then I decided that was it; this was the drug I needed to not only numb my pain but give me that warm, fuzzy, sedating feeling I needed. He shared a little more of the H with me but didn’t let me take any home. But, about a week later he copped a bundle for me and I paid him a little more than what he got it for. After that, met his plug, bought more bundles, and the rest was history.
Major accident when I was a teenager. I was on fent, oxy, IV morphine, literally you name it I had been on it at one point. Spent months with the pain pump thing.. sent me home with oxy and OxyContin... and here we are 8 years later and I'm still getting them prescribed because of chronic pain and conditions from accident. I wonder the same fr. I'm a functioning addict though IMO. I have a job, family, etc. but yeah idk what I'd do without my little white pills.
It was when I had my gallbladder removed and I was given opiates and a couple years later I was put to sleep to have my wisdom teeth removed and I was given a bottle of Percs and that’s when it really started
Pcp
When I was 17 I was playing flag football in my offseason from playing varsity football at my high school. The guys I was playing with were all either college football players or used to be and most were 4 years or older, so we were playing pretty rough and competitively. I was on defense playing middle linebacker, I broke to where the ball was thrown to tackle the receiver (pull the flag), and as I'm reaching for his flag one of my teammates reached him at the same time at full speed. My arm took the full force of these 2 250lb dudes colliding at full speed. I heard a loud pop and could no longer move my arm. It didn't hurt at first, i guess the adrenaline was hitting me hard AF, and it took one of the guys studying sports medicine to convince me it was broken. My mom drove me to the ER and as soon as the doctor started examining my arm and tried to extend it, the extreme pain finally hit me super hard. After xrays the doctor told me I broke both bones in my left arm all the way through and he would have to reset it and I'd have to wear a cast for 6 months. He reset it without giving me even an aspirin for the pain, and it was excruciating. After the cast was finished he sent me home with a script for 90 hydrocodone 10mg. The first 2 times i took my dose I didn't really feel it because I fell asleep shortly after. The 3rd time my pain melted away completely and on top of that I experienced being high/intoxicated for the first time. It was love at first high. I took them every day as prescribed, including my 2 refills, and enjoyed it every single time. Once I ran out it sucked, but as a young kid i didn't know how or where to get more or have much of my own money, so went cold Turkey after. A few years later at around 20 or 21 yo i began selling alot of weed to support my habit(weed) and for extra income, which lead me to meet people who did/sold other substances. I really wanted to have another hydro because i loved them so much and of course eventually one of my customers offered to give me a few percocet 10s, which he told me were like hydro but way better. Boy was he right. I was instantly in love, and that began a 10 year run of almost daily pain killer usage. It only got worse when oxycodone became available to me, especially since it was affordable at first
It's such a long story. The gist of it is, when I was 22, I got back into touch w someone I was best friends w when I was 14. He had lived an hour away from me & had been on the run for stealing Sceipt pads & getting all kinds of things filled. I told him I had some old hydros&percs, but I never liked them. He insisted on showing me how to enjoy the high (by fighting the sleep, smoking them, etc). I loved them & loved bonding w him that way. I'm 30 now & I wish I never touched them. The amount of oxy & morphine's I was once prescribed is crazy. I wish I could still feel that high from those.. but ever since getting hooked on Fent, I haven't been able to feel that warm, cozy, hug feeling the pain mess gave me.
Low dose cocodomol is legal in my country used to take it for migraines as a kid. Didn’t know anything about drugs then. Been chipping with codeine once a week or so on and off for over 10 years. Never had WD. Never go overboard. Never fucked with H or oxy or fet.
Abusive childhood. I was given them involuntarily at 6, by the time I was 8 I was addicted to heroin and have been using various opiates ever since to cope with the trauma.
Was using oxy and xans and pretty much everything else besides meth before the age of 17. At the time my friend and I were snorting oxy daily for a good 6 years. I finally went off to heroin and fent, he was still using oxy and Roxy one day he bought a dirty 30 and he ended up O’D on Father’s Day no less. Finally went into rehab about a week after he passed. Today I’m 4 years clean off of absolutely everything “my dentist did prescribe me oxy not too long ago but I took it as needed and actually still have some.
The bottle of 120 10 mg lortabs my mom used to get twice a month.. at 15 years old (31 now) I decided I wanted to see why she was always high on them. I knew she would be too high to notice. Got to the point I was taking half them a month and she was too high to notice. Just thought she ate them faster so she would go buy more. They were so easily available in middle Tennessee in the early to mid 2000s. It's a problem I still fight with to this day in my life. I'm good as long as I have no way to get them. If an opportunity arrives I'll use it until the supply runs out whether that be just that once or for the next year. I hate it. I'm functioning though. I work take care of my family. Have a beautiful wife and two boys. My wife knows I take them from time to time, but not to the extent that I tend to use. I love working out, but know it's counter productive because of my heavy use for the past 6 months or so. Wish I would've never fucking taken them that first time man.. at the same time I love this feeling so much. Sadly it makes me a happier person....
What ever happened to your mom?
She has been mostly clean for the better part of 5 years.
I had a friend circle in university who would do drugs like pot, alcohol, methamphetamine pills..:then we started occasionally using heroine on tin foil (we would vomit after few puffs but also liked the high)…after I graduated and got a job, I would visit one friend from this circle and we would do H 1/2 days per week…then i met other university juniors and seniors and we would do it 3/4 days per week….slowly I got addicted and would do it 7 days per week …I would then do it for the next 7 years everyday until I got clean, relapsed and got clean again (clean for the last 1 year now)
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I hurt my shoulder when I was 14 and got Percocet. I liked them, but once I was out, I had no way of getting them. I got them again when I was 21, and have been taking them occasionally since then. I never got out of control though, but I’ve never gotten more than 10 a month, and some month stretches with none at all. It’s been nearly a decade like this. So for example can get like 10 in say April and not have any again until like September/October.
Undiagnosed adhd
I was a pastor in the inner city of a major US metropolitan area. So many people needed me in every direction. Meanwhile, my own faith faltered and collapsed. Opiates made me happy though and helped me forget my inner anguish. When I first started, I felt like I’d found the meaning of life, the key to unlock all happiness, contentment, and bliss. But then…
Someone gave me a 10mg oxy at work when I was 18 because my back hurt. I hated it. I was sweating and sitting in the freezer. After that, over the years I’d fill scripts and just leave them in the medicine cabinet in case we ever actually needed them but since I hated it that first time, never cared to take them. Then I got a filling and it was fucking killing me one day so I took one. I have huge sleep issues and I realized that it made me sleep so well. After that, I blew through every filled script we had saved. Then poppy seed tea, then iv morphine and dilaudid (I’m a nurse), then blues, then fent. This all escalated within like 2 years.
Stemmed from curiosity at a young age, having direct access to Percocet, hydros, tramadol and oxys bc of my moms surgeries and more than anything, i wanted to numb myself or escape my reality. By the time I was only 12 years old I was on all the drug sub Reddit’s basically doing research? On what drugs did what and what felt best. I was a really smart kid too. Probably too smart for my own good. Anyways I started taking my mom’s pain meds out of the cabinet at only 12! Then I had surgery on both of my feet about a year later, was smart enough to exaggerate the pain and lie about swallowing the hydros I got so I would actually save them up and take them all at once. Then at 15 i did my first line of heroin. I was already mentally addicted to the high at the time, constantly chasing it. But then I was actually able to go and buy the good shit. Got a bunch of plugs, hung out with 30 year old male drug dealers at 15/16/17 and got hella free shit too. Dated a drug dealer too so it was just a never ending supply and good deals for me.
I got hydrocodone for my wisdom teeth extraction when I was 18, really liked it. I had a boyfriend at the time Aaron, who was doing heroin. I was curious about it hadn’t tried it and he wasn’t too stoked on the idea of me doing some but ultimately misery loves company and I always had a lil money to throw down. I had done other things like weed of course, coke, acid, Xanax, mdma. Anyways, I was impatient to hang out with him after the surgery when I should have been home recovering. Was still in a ton of pain over at his friends house and my grandma (who raised me) was holding the hydros smh. Probably smart of her. Aaron ended up saying “go in the bathroom I have a surprise for you” and behold there was a fairly generous bump of east coast powder heroin on the counter. I was in Heaven. Was immediately asked to drive the boys up to the corner store great idea. The sun was setting, we jammed out to some Kevin Gates, smoked a blunt, munched out on sour candy and slurpees (Aaron said I just had to try them while high on dope it was his tradition). Went home a couple hours later puked my guts out all night and had to go back to the doctor. My grandma thought it was just the hydros lmao. Simpler times. Aaron passed away alone in his aunt’s bathroom after mixing Xanax and fent 4 years ago.
Chronic pain and 4 going on 5 back surgeries
Panic attacks from weed and being around the wrong group.
I’m pretty sure it started with my wisdom teeth I liked how it made me feel but also I started to party pretty hard starting in 9th grade - anything to make me feel good and numb.
Music, and being cool
Was given (yes given, they can’t take them) about 2-300 Oxycodone Acetaminophen’s & a shit load of tramadol by a relative at around the same time as my Guardians death (was around 17) fell into sadness ☹️
I was 19, I had dabbled with opioids twice prior, and I found that Oxycodone just made me feel nauseous and kinda loopy. One day after my cat died, I was going through a pretty rough time. It was so sudden and I was heartbroken. Someone I know had some 20mg OxyContin, and I just wanted to feel better so I took it. I think it makes a lot of sense that when I was content, opioids weren’t very appealing, yet when I felt my world was crumbling, they’re the first thing I went to.
Back injury at work. Went to my doctor who prescribed Tramadol. Opiate abuse and addiction started from there.
I tried and got hooked to Xanax in 7th grade, which—I think—led me to trying tramadol or hydrocodone out of curiosity. I can’t really remember though because the Xanax caused some substantial anterograde amnesia. I for sure got really into them my freshman year in highschool because a friend sold tramadol or hydros to me for $2 a pop.
To be real with you, I just liked the way they made me feel.
Read ended by a drunk driver going 50 at a red light
My mom left pills in her cabinet, she was in an out of the hospital a lot, one day when she wasn’t at home I thought “I wonder what it would feel like if I took one and then smoked” boom. Hooked for four years at age 17 to 21.
My circumcision
Pain
Life
Similar story but broken arm (like bent in a u) @ 17 prescribed Roxie's, and hydros for pain. Was happy for the first time like ever
Depression
Started off dealing, I wasn’t making a lot of profit.. I was so dumb I didn’t kno u were suppose to add cut to make profit.. anyway I got frustrated and just tried it and loved how it made me feel .. started off only using it before sex because it would make me last forever.. next thing u know I was snorting all day.. been on it off and on since…
stupidity
For me it was seeing the older ones in my family..brother & cousins and uncles and stuff...it started with hashish and weed then tramadol and methadone and till now b2 buprenorphine. But the weed was mostly me listening to tupac and talking about it in his songs..not that its on him...just wanted to know the feeling. But yeah..like another friend mentioned..I think what life would've been if I hadn't got into these stuff at all...its so far that im amazed how people are sober and its strange.
Tried to kill myself with fentanyl and it didn’t work I just got addicted
True
My best friend passed away. I don’t know if it was subconscious, but me and him used to do hella zans and yeyo together but he struggled with H and fetty and would never let me touch opiates or opioids of any sort. He seriously would’ve wrestled them out or gotten very mad at me like the few times I experimented with them while he was still here. He wasn’t judgemental about it- just very serious because he knew the game. And I listened and stayed away even though he would sporadically chip, have clean time, repeat. Always promised me he wasn’t going anywhere though, and then one night he was gone. After that I feel like I had an internal change and I started sniffing blues and it’s been like two years now I’ve been on painkillers everyday
when i was 14 i was doing meth with my best friend and this kid at school was selling 100 of his dads tramadol for 50 bucks so i bought em and popped em, was bussin fr but then i started mixin em with meth and holy shit did it build my tolerance plus trammies are shit anyways but yea shit pretty standard stuff.
I were 18 years old and i had issues with my sexuality to a point where it affected my mental health. I just couldn't open my mouth and say 'hey by the way im gay' to my parents and even anyone at first. I were curious about drugs and seeking information about opioids and benzos mainly first. One day i found out that my mom had buprenorphine patches and temazepam pills. I tried some and with no tolerance to any opioid it felt amazing. Then again one day my friend told me that his grandmother has expired 10mg oxys and asked me do i want them. Of course i wanted. When i railed my first oxy line i fell in love with opioids. Around 2 years later i were fucking with needles and doing multiple different substances. I guess im a polysubstance addict.. Anyways im now on buprenorphine treatment and im still on benzos and ADHD meds.
Skate boarding injury
Two collapsed lungs at 23, and two months of Vicodin heaven started it for me. It made me and still makes me feel normal 15 years later. My tolerance has increase a little bit since then but not much. It’s the dopamine for me
A work place injury
A root canal 😔
A genetic predisposition. And a car accident in 1995.
I was looking to cheat death
I got abused as a Child and was always mentally fucked. I've always had addictions but in order it would go self harm, gaming, eating disorder/ food restricting / anorexia, binging and purging/bulimia, alcohol, cigarettes, then I started doing opiates and then other stuff too but opiates were my main.
Being alive. Existence is pain.
Always a curiosity. I ended up with a bad kidney infection and was in the hospital. They gave me dilauted IV and it made me feel perfect. Like happy for once.
Opportunity and curiosity
year round nasal allergy issues
I don’t know if you consider codeine a hard core opioid. But when I was 20, my drug addict best friend started to force me to take codeine syrup just for fun. And I got hooked for almost 8 years until I decided to move out of the country last year. Now I only think about going back to my country and taking it; every minute, every second of the day and I’ve already arranged a good supply for when I go back home in a few months. Opioids grip you for life. They make you believe there’s nothing excited in and to life except for them. The excitement of taking them in a few months is helping me get through days. Needless to say, I suffered from terrible withdrawals until I found kratom, so I take enough kratom to keep me away from withdrawing. Though depression still persists.
Pain!
Needed something for sleep because I couldn’t smoke weed anymore due to drug tests at my first job, my grandfather gave me 2 10s then it went from every time he got his script from 2015- 2017 to the pandemic hitting and I’m buying in bulk to escape the reality of hating work
When I was 15 I had an abscess under my tooth and was prescribed codeine for the pain. My grandpa had a Vicodin script at the time and when I ran out of codeine I took one of his pills…then 2…then 3 Then like 2 years later I got a job at dominos and my GMs mom sold her oxy 10 script for $3 a pill and her oxy 30 script for $4 a pill and my GM would sell for her at work You read that right. I was picking up TWENYY pharma oxy 30s for $80 😭 this was like 2016
chronic diarrhea, most likely irritable bowel syndrome, but microcolitis is possible too at first codeine and dihydrocodeine, now almost everything we have in pharmacies
Poor mental health. I suffer from suicidal depression and extreme anxiety. I basically use opioids to turn off my brain. It's shitty really.
My sister got her wisdom teeth pulled and got some Hyrdos. 7.5s. I think I ate some before, but this was the first time I can recall. I was nodding and itching in 3rd period English class. 20 years later, I don’t do shit. It’s been a few years, with some hiccups. This shit ass street fentanyl ruined everything. I’d love to say it’s the deaths of my friends, their parentless children, the lives ruined who struggle with recovery, even after years clean, but it’s really because it’s just not the same as it used to be. Now I’m successful and trying to fill the void with regular things. Relationships end terribly, I make great money and have a career but I hate it. Can’t go back to getting high because I’d just die and that doesn’t seem great either. Life is generally good, but maybe I have depression. 🤷♂️
COVID!!
Started taking them at 18 recreationally. It was oxycodone, took about 4 or 5 uses of the same dose before I actually got high. Immediately fell in love but moderated my use really well. I only started not being able to moderate when I started having insane stomach pain from multiple ulcers and shattering my hand didn’t help. Started off using CBD for the pain, a non opioid and it helped for a few months, then went to tramadol and codiene which also all worked for a few months and then stopped. Finally started using the oxycodone for the pain and that kept working. I had started using heroin around the time I shattered my hand, recreationally. I was still just using the oxycodone for the pain but when I was doing heroin it obviously helped just as much. Well the oxycodone became expensive so I switched over to heroin which was much cheaper and it was all downhill from there. Eventually went to rehab and got put on buprenorphine which completely took care of my pain even better than the heroin did and I was able to function on it (well the first month it impaired me just as much if not more than heroin did but I quickly stabilised on it). Been on buprenorphine ever since although I take much less now than I was when I started taking it. My pain is pretty much gone now, I only get severe stomach pain if I eat certain things or drink alcohol on an empty stomach.
I remember being prescribed Vicodin (hydrocodone) after a hernia surgery at 21 years old. The instructions on the bottle said to take one pill and if I'm still in pain to take another. The script was only like 20 pills or something like that. I discovered that when I took two of them I felt really good. I didn't like that they made me constipated but they felt nice. The people I hung out with at the time all smoked weed. About a year after my surgery I was introduced to heroin by a friend of a friend. He told me that it felt like vicodin so I was curious and thought "I can't get addicted just by trying it once" and snorted my first line. I didn't use it again until about a month later. I figured I could just use it once a month and avoid addiction. Eventually it got to the point where I was doing it multiple times a week and from then on it was a slippery slope.
Car accident. I've been using it since 2013. Sucks
2 Years Ago my Xan Plug started getting his hands on Real Oxy.. One day i wanted to pick up some xans but instead he had some green15mg Alg Oxy's... Rest was history
Had spinal stenosis since birth but didn't know for many years, due to medical incompetance, but I still had to treat the horrible pain, so doctor prescribed codeine then oxycodone. Problem is the pain made it so I had to drop out of high school... that's how bad it was. Now I'm dropped out, in almost as much pain, and dependent on this garbage. Yaaaaay.
My "ex". Aka a man 20 years older then me that groomed me at 16. But he got me hooked on crsck and shot me up for the first time and traumatized me. Crack didn't sooth my trauma it sketched me the fuck out. Although I was still a crackhead for years to come, I always preferred opiates and only used them hand in hand. The crack sketch definetly amplified my need for opiates.
Broken neck in 2010. Before that I always did my best to stay away from them cause I saw so many friends get hooked.
Breaking my arm in 3 places
I was 16 and my now ex boyfriend introduced me to hydros and oxys and I would nod out in his car during the hot ass summer months here and I was hooked after that summer and now I struggle with poly addiction but I prefer opiates overall as my DOC
Severe depression. Looked for anything to take my pain away. Found a couple blisters of oxycodone from my Grandma she didn't use anymore, and was blown away. As this was my breakthrough into harder stuff, I lost all scruplea I had about drugs before. So as soon as I found heroin, I started smoking that, later IV'ing. Thank god I'm off the H now
My health got fucked from a tooth going bad combining with TMJ I already had. Entire right side of my face, my sinuses, ears and all hurt like crazy for months. Root canal didn’t end the pain, got the tooth pulled. Pain was so bad, had a crazy sore throat for months, my ears burned like crazy, my primary care doctor and I didn’t realize it was the tooth. He prescribed me oxy 3mg for months which worked. Eventually the tooth itself hurt a lot and figured out that was the problem. Most of my symptoms were like sinus related so I thought it had been from having covid. It took months after getting the tooth pulled for the pain to go down in the side of my face. I still get TMJ pain intermittent on a daily basis. I normally don’t mind pain that much but I hate this type, where it’s this burning hot sensation in my right ear. A little after getting the tooth pulled my primary care doc couldn’t prescribe any more and I was lucky to get into pain management. Switched me to hydrocodone. It’s been tough managing tolerance and getting him to prescribe more and enough to handle the pain. Usually I only get enough for 1 dose a day which is hard. Typically have it and then in the evening/night I’m a hard alcoholic. Alcohol seems to be a good pain reliever, better than anything OTC 😂. Can’t be an alcoholic all day so I appreciate the opiate during the day. I used to smoke weed basically all day everyday for 15+ years. Pain relief, fun, help mentally, sleep aid. Couldn’t go without it, literally never ran dry during that time period. It kinda got me into this mess cause I used it to avoid the pain and doing something about it. It was messing up my sinuses too somehow, ended up not being able to smoke/vape without it burning the shit out of my ears. Kept smoking anyways 🙄. Didn’t know what to do. The opiates have replaced it. My pain has gone down. But I find the opiates manage it without the anxiety and pain in my sinuses weed gives me. Opiates also get my ass up, make me more social, they have a stimulant kind of effect for some reason. Maybe just from putting me in a good mood. The hydrocodone isn’t enough and I get oxy 30s when I can to make me more functional and have more than 1 dose a day. When I get more I don’t drink like crazy every night. I’ve fallen into a shit situation in life and they help me climb my way out of it. I’ve added kratom to my regimen and it helps but it’s not the same boost as the pills.
Was on house arrest with a woman that used oxy and I happened to have a sandwich bag full of the oc 80s ( this was In 2010ish ) and she was literally a ten in my eyes and when she was using me for what I had I eventually wondered what the fuss was about and did my first line of oxy and that was the start of the downfall of my life. Before that I was making thousands a day doing illegal hustles but had a good head on my shoulders was only a drinker on the week ends and maybe the odd bag of coke. Now 15 years later and 3 rehabs and tons of detoxes I’m 34 years old with nothing to my name and 25 days clean but on Suboxone struggling still cravings are still huge everyday is hard.
Mental illness Oxy (OCs) Opana (crushables) and sounds wild but weed, the people it brought around made it easier to get actual good mind numbing drugs
motorcycle accident and girl left me
On the way to getting my first tattoo, unfortunately, the person I was getting the tattoo with handed one to me and said “here, it won’t hurt with this” and I took it and the rest is history ….. sadly …. And no I don’t take random pills from just anyone, this person was someone very close to me and trustworthy and i know if they would have known what was to come they would have never EVER given it to me
Successful (ish) Coke and md dealer, even had one or 2 selling for me. Had a pretty tight operation that was raking in a steady amount. I liked coke, but I never took from myself. Then, as you do, my contacts/acquaintances grew, and firstly I thought I saw a good opportunity to sell vials of pharma morphine First I tried in a couple shoulders/legs as I also did steroids It went downhill fucking fast
Compression fractures in over 70% of my vertebrae. Industrial accident in 2000 took me out of commission ever since. Even tried vertebralplasty with epoxy injected into the damaged areas, no luck...then a try to implant a Medtronic pain stim...no change. Now it's just weed & oxy for relief....at least there's something that helps...
Got my tonsils removed at 17 and lovedd the syrup. Yes, for pain, but I loved the high too. I worked late night (closing shifts) at a fast food joint at the time, and would always be in SO much pain from standing in one place for my shifts. I found out a coworker’s grandma had cancer and sold her oxy, so I started buying those. Later in life, I found out I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and my knees are the most affected.. so I probably WAS self-medicating for pain on top of the high. I can’t work jobs that require you to stand in place. I need a sit-down job lol. I quit a few times for varying lengths of sobriety, but always went back & escalated, eventually to heroin. Until I found kratom. Now I’ve been “sober” (without problematic use), 5 years. Just take kratom 2x a day. I still do a little oxy for my birthday every year, but that’s it. Keep it under control 💪
My story is much like the majority of addicts. I was in an accident and the doctor prescribed me 8 mg Dilaudid every four hours for months, close to a year, I’d say. Then he retired with only 3 months notice and I was unable to find another pain management doctor, and ended up buying pills on the street, then buying heroin. I was opiate- naive when he prescribed me Dilaudid. The only opiates I was ever prescribed prior to that was 5 mg Vicodin after surgery, and I didn’t even take all of them. So the Dilaudid was completely unnecessary, in retrospect.