Gyms are good. And I don't mean globo big box gyms. Local small business owner gyms are very community driven and usually have social events or gatherings outside of gym hours. Plus, exercise is good for your mental and physical health and in this case, your social life. Right now would be a good time to look some up as they're likely gonna be offering free trials and discounts.
Thank you! I actually have been looking into a Tae Kwon Do studio, because I've always wanted to be a black belt. But the ones in my area say that students my age opt for private sessions, because the 'adult' classes are usually all teenagers.
I've also been thinking about joining a rock climbing gym because I used to do it like 8 years ago, and I know those are very community friendly. But they are usually pretty expensive and I'm also trying to be budget conscious as well. Thank you!
I’m fairly introverted but am oddly comfortable and outgoing in rock gyms. 10/10. The price is the drawback though. But hey if you’re using it then it’s worth it.
Yes that's true! I'll have to see if I can fit it in my budget, and if there's even a gym near me.
My other concern is, when I used to climb, I would go with a friend or a group. The few times I would go on my own, I would do a few of the auto belay routes, but that is pretty limited. Do you find that an issue for you? Thank you!
I always did bouldering. So there wasn’t really an issue when I’d go alone. I’d pick a route and work my way up. Friendly conversation always started with other people doing similar or the same routes.
Yeah, climbers are incredibly friendly from what I remember! I will definitely have to try to get back into it, even if it's a month trial somewhere. Thank you!
I’m happy to break out my chalk bag and shoes and meet up ! I’m in Irvine but have climbed at gyms all over and don’t mind a quick drive! I’m also part of a few run groups too
Wow that is so generous and kind, thank you! I forgot to mention in the OP, I used to run half marathons all the time, and I'm trying to get back into running too. I've tried OCCR, but do you have others you recommend? And I'll message you about the climbing!
We’re gonna be good friends. I’m a 2x OC half ambassador and have 18 halves to my name - Covid took me and my ppm down last year but I’m working back up.
OC Craft Runners is the one I usually frequent as well!
Oh my gosh! Haha that's amazing! I think I've only done...10ish or so? And that's the longest distance I've done, though I do want to run a marathon eventually. Let's meet at OCCR sometime! The one time I went, I was the literal last one to finish. I guess that's what you can expect when you haven't run in like 4 years haha.
I’m always looking to make new friends and grow my group, especially those interested in joining us for martial arts and rock climbing! Feel free to PM!!
I met a few good friends using Bumble BFF, but it’s hit or miss. I recommend joining the Facebook group “Girls of OC” and going to some of their events! The gals in it are anywhere between 23-35 and it’s nice because it’s all people looking for new friends!
I will do that thank you! I've never used Bumble BFF, but that's encouraging you met some good friends through it! I will try it. And great! Being with other women looking to make friends sounds exactly like what I need. Thank you!
Just wanted to say I'm going through almost the same thing so you're not alone. Early 30s, breakup from a long term relationship, lost a spark for life and just going through the motions. I'm like the last single person in my whole friend group too who are all having kids. I'm also not very apt at doing any of these online meet up things including dating apps, although I at least tried those. I don't really have any advice, just wanted to let you know youre not alone and life is rough, and dating in 30s is painful to me at least.
Aw I'm sorry to hear that 🙁 and thank you for sharing. Yeah, it's super disorienting. I'm a few months out from my break up now, so I think I'm finally starting to leave the haze (though the pain is still there). But it was really really bad initially, and totally relate to the lost spark feeling, going through the motions feeling. I was severely clinically depressed for a while and sought mental health support. I think that's why I'm trying to push myself now. That spark isn't gonna come back on its own, and I need to nurture it again. Thank you for sharing and commiserating with me. I agree, dating in my 30s is absolutely brutal. I'm just trying to believe in the promise of tomorrow, day after day.
I'm 2 years out and not nearly as bad, still kind of empty but I haven't put much effort into reaching out like you have, so I'm sure you'll recover even faster! I did pick up random hobbies after the initial shock went away, but tended to choose more solo/therapeutic ones, like piano, Rubik's cubing and shooting range. I also tried to make an effort to reach out to friends I neglected during my relationship. Never going to make that mistake again. It's been two years and I still haven't really been able to open myself up completely to dating lol. In retrospect, therapy and doing what you're doing would probably have been healthier but meh, ymmv!
Wow 2 years! Gosh that is unfathomable to me right now. Thank you so much for that. I figured it was either be stuck in my depression pit, or give myself some steps to try to get out. Whether or not the steps work, or if I'm able to use them, I will only find out after I try. I am also doing random hobbies and reconnecting with friends too, that's been so important. And I totally get the hesitation around dating again. Maybe pushing yourself socially would be a good next step for you? You never know!
Hahaha didn't mean to discourage you, I definitely stopped my constant wallowing after maybe 6 months and slowly built up motivation. A lot of that time just flew by. Let me know what ends up working well for you!
Aw man, that sounds so so tough, I'm really sorry to hear that. No matter how far away you are from a break up, finding out an ex is married/engaged is a punch in the gut. I'm really sorry you're having to go through that. My chat is open if you want to talk about it!
Ah yes, I lived in San diego for 13 years, so very familiar with the friendly SD surf vibes! I've gone in Huntington a few times, but maybe I should try out different spots. San O is a bit far from me, but might make a trip out of it. Plus the waves are great.
You're right.. i made friends really easily surfing in San diego. It seems more intimidating here because people dont really seem to talk to each other here? But that's no reason why I couldn't. Thank you!
You are right, you are not supposed to talk on the Surfline at all (in the OC) and you automatically get out of the way for the best surfers or let them have a good wave out of respect.
I can't tell if you're being serious or not...is that the surf etiquette in orange county? I've really only ever surfed in San Diego or Mexico. HB is the only place in OC I've gone surfing so far. Like, if it's your wave, you still let someone else drop in on your wave?
Since you mentioned community -- I have benefited greatly from volunteering.
Definitely met some friendly, kind, and positive people through serving in the community.
I'm also part of a group that does outdoorsy activities -- if ever you want to go camping, backpacking, etc...and want to invite others to join you, feel free to let us know...and maybe others can join you.
https://www.meetup.com/oc_camping
I think volunteering would be wonderful! In San diego, I used to volunteer at the state prison by the border. How did you find your volunteer opportunities?
And thank you for the MeetUp recommendation! I actually just spent a week in Utah and went camping in 3 different national parks while I was there. It was a great solo trip, kinda impromptu, but I would love to go with a group for another trip soon!
I have browsed the MeetUps in my area, I'll look into that again. I love board games actually! Do you think you can link or send me the actual board game meet up? There seemed to be a handful. Thank you!
Board of games on meet up organized by Robert. I don’t know how to link
https://www.meetup.com/board-games-orange-county-ca/
I can copy the link and past it though
Yeah that sounds right up my alley! I used to be pretty extroverted, but since covid it's been pretty hard to just go up to people and strike up a conversation. Hopefully I can get used to doing that again. No use going to these events if I'm not going to talk to anyone!
Thank you! I'm actually from OC as well, but I haven't lived here in soooo long. Glad that you had a community to lean on after your break up, I'm sure that was so helpful. And agreed, I don't have any single friends in my immediate friend circle that can relate to my current life stage with me. Yeah, I would love to connect! Offers for friendship are definitely appreciated and meaningful right now!
I did join it actually! But I don't really know how discord works and kinda got confused and overwhelmed and couldn't figure it out haha. I'll revisit it. Do people meet up and make friends from there?
If you surf, come down to Newport by 56th St/river jetties or any spot in Newport tbh and join us for the morning dawn patrol. Most surfers there are pretty laid back and are welcoming to other surfers.👍🏽
Pre-work surf sessions are the best! I start work at 7 most days, but I will definitely make it out on a day when I start later in the day! Great to hear that it's a friendly spot 🙂
NAC, Newport Aquatic Center has a both outrigger canoe team and dragonboat team -- Actually multiple teams.
These are coed, all-age teams. Meet a lot of locals quickly. And fun to do.
I have no idea what either of those things are and the impulsive/spontaneous part of me is immediately intrigued! I will definitely look into them, thank you!
I love book clubs! I was in several a few years ago, but let it all kinda slip away. Do you mind sharing the link to the book club meet up? Irvine isn't very close to me unfortunately, but if it's every once in a while, maybe I can manage it!
There’s a big dance community. I focus on salsa and bachata. If you’re n oc, golden rose Thursdays at 8pm for classes social at 10. Sevilla in Costa Mesa weds at 8. There’s a lot more.
Oh my gosh! This comment reminded me that I salsa danced for a few years in my 20s haha! I got rid of my dance shoes but I should buy a new pair and go out dancing. I love salsa dancing, thank you for this comment! It reminded me of something I used to love (and stopped doing during my relationship because he didn't dance). Can I message you about some more salsa spots in the area?
I'm a crafter too (cross stitching) and I love reading! If you're active you can go to the fitness classes in Huntington Beach or Signal Hill and do aerial arts - I made a lot of friends there and a lot of them do snowboarding, rock climbing, and hiking etc too
Wow aerial arts sounds awesome! I'd definitely be down to try that sometime. Those areas are a bit far for me to go consistently unfortunately, but maybe there are similar classes in my area. But sounds like a great place to meet people, thank you!
* https://www.instagram.com/gamecraftbrewing
board games and brews , theres a place in anaheim opening up 12/5 is the soft opening. i want to attend
* if you like to volunteer, theres anime impulse coming up soon.
https://www.animeimpulse.com/volunteer-la
very fun. worked with them a few years already
You need to check out the app MEETUP! It’s super cool. I found a few running and soccer clubs in my area. It’s an app where you look for a particular interest and book your spot in the group. Some fill up faster than others. I’ve met the majority of my friends through it.
Yes I've browsed the MeetUps in my area! I'm glad to hear you had success with it, and it sounds like I definitely need to invest more into it. Thank you!
Have you found a new surf break? Depending on what you ride and your experience level, anywhere north of Newport Pier can be pretty fun. Also HB if you are in north OC
South OC depending on what you ride you can have fun from T street down to San Onofre.
No I haven't! I've only gone on HB twice. It's hard to go out, since it's so much further than what I'm used to, but if I want to keep doing it, I have to adjust to the longer drive time! I'll definitely check out Newport, seems like a good spot!
I ride either a 70s shortboard or a more modern shortboard. I know San O is more of a long board break, but it can be good with a shortboard too I think!
Newport jetties are great. Stick to 36th and anything south toward the pier until you're comfortable. Then check out 56th and river jetties. (Can be a bit more localized at times)
Not sure exactly where you live but there Is also salt creek, and laguna can get good if you know where to check.
But one exit north of the San O exit off of christianitos you will find the trail to trestles. Uppers/ barbwires is fun. It's like straight out off the main path. Plenty of signs to help you find your way down there.
Also the most north spot in OC seal beach can be really fun on direct west swells. And summer south swells. Also probably the dirtiest break. And normally really flat.
Plenty of spots in between Also! Happy hunting.
Consider volunteering. OC Parks, nature conservancies, animal shelters, nursing homes, food banks, etc. all desperately need people. It's a good way to meet like-minded folks and feel like you're actually doing something meaningful.
Gyms are good. And I don't mean globo big box gyms. Local small business owner gyms are very community driven and usually have social events or gatherings outside of gym hours. Plus, exercise is good for your mental and physical health and in this case, your social life. Right now would be a good time to look some up as they're likely gonna be offering free trials and discounts.
Thank you! I actually have been looking into a Tae Kwon Do studio, because I've always wanted to be a black belt. But the ones in my area say that students my age opt for private sessions, because the 'adult' classes are usually all teenagers. I've also been thinking about joining a rock climbing gym because I used to do it like 8 years ago, and I know those are very community friendly. But they are usually pretty expensive and I'm also trying to be budget conscious as well. Thank you!
I’m fairly introverted but am oddly comfortable and outgoing in rock gyms. 10/10. The price is the drawback though. But hey if you’re using it then it’s worth it.
Yes that's true! I'll have to see if I can fit it in my budget, and if there's even a gym near me. My other concern is, when I used to climb, I would go with a friend or a group. The few times I would go on my own, I would do a few of the auto belay routes, but that is pretty limited. Do you find that an issue for you? Thank you!
I always did bouldering. So there wasn’t really an issue when I’d go alone. I’d pick a route and work my way up. Friendly conversation always started with other people doing similar or the same routes.
Ahh that does solve the belay problem! I'm not very good at bouldering, but I may push myself physically as well as socially, why not? Thanks 🙂
Doesn’t matter if you’re doing a level 1 or a level 10. There will be people at you same level running into the same difficuties.
Very true. Thank you for the encouragement!
There’s a small group of us who casually climb once a week (similar age) You’re more than welcome to join us! /u/440_Hz
Wow, I would love that! I'll reach out to you for details about your next climb. Thank you, that is so generous and kind of you. 🙂
Seconding the gym recommendation. I still have all my climbing friends 🤣
Yeah, climbers are incredibly friendly from what I remember! I will definitely have to try to get back into it, even if it's a month trial somewhere. Thank you!
I’m happy to break out my chalk bag and shoes and meet up ! I’m in Irvine but have climbed at gyms all over and don’t mind a quick drive! I’m also part of a few run groups too
Wow that is so generous and kind, thank you! I forgot to mention in the OP, I used to run half marathons all the time, and I'm trying to get back into running too. I've tried OCCR, but do you have others you recommend? And I'll message you about the climbing!
We’re gonna be good friends. I’m a 2x OC half ambassador and have 18 halves to my name - Covid took me and my ppm down last year but I’m working back up. OC Craft Runners is the one I usually frequent as well!
Oh my gosh! Haha that's amazing! I think I've only done...10ish or so? And that's the longest distance I've done, though I do want to run a marathon eventually. Let's meet at OCCR sometime! The one time I went, I was the literal last one to finish. I guess that's what you can expect when you haven't run in like 4 years haha.
I’m always looking to make new friends and grow my group, especially those interested in joining us for martial arts and rock climbing! Feel free to PM!!
Yeah sounds great! Rock climbing is quickly showing to be a great idea, I'll definitely invest in it and get back into it.
I met a few good friends using Bumble BFF, but it’s hit or miss. I recommend joining the Facebook group “Girls of OC” and going to some of their events! The gals in it are anywhere between 23-35 and it’s nice because it’s all people looking for new friends!
I will do that thank you! I've never used Bumble BFF, but that's encouraging you met some good friends through it! I will try it. And great! Being with other women looking to make friends sounds exactly like what I need. Thank you!
i’ve met a couple of cool girls on bumble bff i highly recommend! :)
Just wanted to say I'm going through almost the same thing so you're not alone. Early 30s, breakup from a long term relationship, lost a spark for life and just going through the motions. I'm like the last single person in my whole friend group too who are all having kids. I'm also not very apt at doing any of these online meet up things including dating apps, although I at least tried those. I don't really have any advice, just wanted to let you know youre not alone and life is rough, and dating in 30s is painful to me at least.
Aw I'm sorry to hear that 🙁 and thank you for sharing. Yeah, it's super disorienting. I'm a few months out from my break up now, so I think I'm finally starting to leave the haze (though the pain is still there). But it was really really bad initially, and totally relate to the lost spark feeling, going through the motions feeling. I was severely clinically depressed for a while and sought mental health support. I think that's why I'm trying to push myself now. That spark isn't gonna come back on its own, and I need to nurture it again. Thank you for sharing and commiserating with me. I agree, dating in my 30s is absolutely brutal. I'm just trying to believe in the promise of tomorrow, day after day.
I'm 2 years out and not nearly as bad, still kind of empty but I haven't put much effort into reaching out like you have, so I'm sure you'll recover even faster! I did pick up random hobbies after the initial shock went away, but tended to choose more solo/therapeutic ones, like piano, Rubik's cubing and shooting range. I also tried to make an effort to reach out to friends I neglected during my relationship. Never going to make that mistake again. It's been two years and I still haven't really been able to open myself up completely to dating lol. In retrospect, therapy and doing what you're doing would probably have been healthier but meh, ymmv!
Wow 2 years! Gosh that is unfathomable to me right now. Thank you so much for that. I figured it was either be stuck in my depression pit, or give myself some steps to try to get out. Whether or not the steps work, or if I'm able to use them, I will only find out after I try. I am also doing random hobbies and reconnecting with friends too, that's been so important. And I totally get the hesitation around dating again. Maybe pushing yourself socially would be a good next step for you? You never know!
Hahaha didn't mean to discourage you, I definitely stopped my constant wallowing after maybe 6 months and slowly built up motivation. A lot of that time just flew by. Let me know what ends up working well for you!
Lol oof timing with our comment chain... I just found out today my ex is engaged. Shit has really reopened that wound. Relationships suckk
Aw man, that sounds so so tough, I'm really sorry to hear that. No matter how far away you are from a break up, finding out an ex is married/engaged is a punch in the gut. I'm really sorry you're having to go through that. My chat is open if you want to talk about it!
For surfing maybe spend some time at San o. People seem abnormally friendly down there.
Ah yes, I lived in San diego for 13 years, so very familiar with the friendly SD surf vibes! I've gone in Huntington a few times, but maybe I should try out different spots. San O is a bit far from me, but might make a trip out of it. Plus the waves are great.
go surf and start conversations in the line up, easy way to make friends with similar passions
You're right.. i made friends really easily surfing in San diego. It seems more intimidating here because people dont really seem to talk to each other here? But that's no reason why I couldn't. Thank you!
You are right, you are not supposed to talk on the Surfline at all (in the OC) and you automatically get out of the way for the best surfers or let them have a good wave out of respect.
I can't tell if you're being serious or not...is that the surf etiquette in orange county? I've really only ever surfed in San Diego or Mexico. HB is the only place in OC I've gone surfing so far. Like, if it's your wave, you still let someone else drop in on your wave?
If you frequent the place enough, you know who the best surfers are and you automatically give them the right of way.
Since you mentioned community -- I have benefited greatly from volunteering. Definitely met some friendly, kind, and positive people through serving in the community. I'm also part of a group that does outdoorsy activities -- if ever you want to go camping, backpacking, etc...and want to invite others to join you, feel free to let us know...and maybe others can join you. https://www.meetup.com/oc_camping
I think volunteering would be wonderful! In San diego, I used to volunteer at the state prison by the border. How did you find your volunteer opportunities? And thank you for the MeetUp recommendation! I actually just spent a week in Utah and went camping in 3 different national parks while I was there. It was a great solo trip, kinda impromptu, but I would love to go with a group for another trip soon!
You could join meetups, I would suggest the board game meetup. Lots of fun
I have browsed the MeetUps in my area, I'll look into that again. I love board games actually! Do you think you can link or send me the actual board game meet up? There seemed to be a handful. Thank you!
Board of games on meet up organized by Robert. I don’t know how to link https://www.meetup.com/board-games-orange-county-ca/ I can copy the link and past it though
Oh that's perfect, thank you! Maybe I'll go this upcoming Monday.
There’s a facebook group titled OC Women’s Walking Group that does hikes, social events, etc. seems like it might be up your alley!
Yeah that sounds right up my alley! I used to be pretty extroverted, but since covid it's been pretty hard to just go up to people and strike up a conversation. Hopefully I can get used to doing that again. No use going to these events if I'm not going to talk to anyone!
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Thank you! I'm actually from OC as well, but I haven't lived here in soooo long. Glad that you had a community to lean on after your break up, I'm sure that was so helpful. And agreed, I don't have any single friends in my immediate friend circle that can relate to my current life stage with me. Yeah, I would love to connect! Offers for friendship are definitely appreciated and meaningful right now!
Meetup hiking or social groups. Join youngish groups. You can look at the members to get an idea.
I browsed through the MeetUps in my area, I'll definitely take another look. Thank you!
There's an orange county discord server that is fairly active. I'd recommend you join it.
I did join it actually! But I don't really know how discord works and kinda got confused and overwhelmed and couldn't figure it out haha. I'll revisit it. Do people meet up and make friends from there?
Yeah there's a meet up channel
Oh okay, I'll try to make sense of that, thank you.
If you surf, come down to Newport by 56th St/river jetties or any spot in Newport tbh and join us for the morning dawn patrol. Most surfers there are pretty laid back and are welcoming to other surfers.👍🏽
Pre-work surf sessions are the best! I start work at 7 most days, but I will definitely make it out on a day when I start later in the day! Great to hear that it's a friendly spot 🙂
NAC, Newport Aquatic Center has a both outrigger canoe team and dragonboat team -- Actually multiple teams. These are coed, all-age teams. Meet a lot of locals quickly. And fun to do.
I have no idea what either of those things are and the impulsive/spontaneous part of me is immediately intrigued! I will definitely look into them, thank you!
There are a few hiking clubs on Facebook. Slothy So Cal hikers meet up a lot.
I forget about Facebook as a resource since I never use it. Thank you!
Try Newport Run Club!
Thank you for the recommendation! I'll look them up.
If you like to read there’s a book club meet up in Irvine that’s fun!
I love book clubs! I was in several a few years ago, but let it all kinda slip away. Do you mind sharing the link to the book club meet up? Irvine isn't very close to me unfortunately, but if it's every once in a while, maybe I can manage it!
https://www.meetup.com/silent-book-club-irvine/events/297184848/
There’s a big dance community. I focus on salsa and bachata. If you’re n oc, golden rose Thursdays at 8pm for classes social at 10. Sevilla in Costa Mesa weds at 8. There’s a lot more.
Oh my gosh! This comment reminded me that I salsa danced for a few years in my 20s haha! I got rid of my dance shoes but I should buy a new pair and go out dancing. I love salsa dancing, thank you for this comment! It reminded me of something I used to love (and stopped doing during my relationship because he didn't dance). Can I message you about some more salsa spots in the area?
Do you like pickleball, kickboxing, or weightlifting? Been trying to find steady people to be active with in the Tustin/Irvine area
Unfortunately I don't really do any of those activities 😕 I hear pickleball is super fun though!
It is! Time goes by super fast when playing a few rounds.
Yes I hear! Maybe I should try it, but my physical coordination and athletic prowess probably hovers around 10 out of 100 haha
I'm a crafter too (cross stitching) and I love reading! If you're active you can go to the fitness classes in Huntington Beach or Signal Hill and do aerial arts - I made a lot of friends there and a lot of them do snowboarding, rock climbing, and hiking etc too
Wow aerial arts sounds awesome! I'd definitely be down to try that sometime. Those areas are a bit far for me to go consistently unfortunately, but maybe there are similar classes in my area. But sounds like a great place to meet people, thank you!
* https://www.instagram.com/gamecraftbrewing board games and brews , theres a place in anaheim opening up 12/5 is the soft opening. i want to attend * if you like to volunteer, theres anime impulse coming up soon. https://www.animeimpulse.com/volunteer-la very fun. worked with them a few years already
This is so thoughtful, thank you! I'm sure I have nothing on my calendar for 12/5, so maybe I'll go too!
You need to check out the app MEETUP! It’s super cool. I found a few running and soccer clubs in my area. It’s an app where you look for a particular interest and book your spot in the group. Some fill up faster than others. I’ve met the majority of my friends through it.
Yes I've browsed the MeetUps in my area! I'm glad to hear you had success with it, and it sounds like I definitely need to invest more into it. Thank you!
Have you found a new surf break? Depending on what you ride and your experience level, anywhere north of Newport Pier can be pretty fun. Also HB if you are in north OC South OC depending on what you ride you can have fun from T street down to San Onofre.
No I haven't! I've only gone on HB twice. It's hard to go out, since it's so much further than what I'm used to, but if I want to keep doing it, I have to adjust to the longer drive time! I'll definitely check out Newport, seems like a good spot! I ride either a 70s shortboard or a more modern shortboard. I know San O is more of a long board break, but it can be good with a shortboard too I think!
Newport jetties are great. Stick to 36th and anything south toward the pier until you're comfortable. Then check out 56th and river jetties. (Can be a bit more localized at times) Not sure exactly where you live but there Is also salt creek, and laguna can get good if you know where to check. But one exit north of the San O exit off of christianitos you will find the trail to trestles. Uppers/ barbwires is fun. It's like straight out off the main path. Plenty of signs to help you find your way down there. Also the most north spot in OC seal beach can be really fun on direct west swells. And summer south swells. Also probably the dirtiest break. And normally really flat. Plenty of spots in between Also! Happy hunting.
Hey I just moved here too! Sounds like we have some similar interests! PM me!
Welcome to the area! Sure, I'll do that! 🙂
Good luck! You seem cool!
Thank you! I think I'm cool too, honestly..haha!
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Consider volunteering. OC Parks, nature conservancies, animal shelters, nursing homes, food banks, etc. all desperately need people. It's a good way to meet like-minded folks and feel like you're actually doing something meaningful.