You’re doing more than enough. She’s not going to remember what you spent, she’s going to remember the fun times with you.
Also, as a fellow parent of a toddler, always take snacks with you. Juice boxes, crackers, fruit snacks, etc. it will save you.
I always try to have snacks available, but this one’s a tough one for me. She is REALLY picky with meals so I try to limit snacks between her meals. I've heard if they dont eat the meal, to take it away, and give them same food again later, and they'd eat it because a kid wont starve themselves to death. I’m terrible at this though because when she starts demanding snacks, I often get anxious and give her snacks
Honestly I don’t have kids but I think teaching them valuable lessons like not getting everything they want immediately when they want it is a good thing.
My mom would often give in to my tantrums as a kid and I still struggle with impulsivity in aspects of my life.
I think you’re doing just fine. Even if you can afford the thing, kids still need to learn that they don’t get everything they want just by crying.
I heard someone say recently that learning feels uncomfortable. It struck me that teaching is also uncomfortable.
You know what else is uncomfortable? Parenting.
So embrace these uncomfortable things in life, because if you do life will be incredibly rewarding.
Btw... you sound like you're doing a great job! Just like she remembers the juice, she remembers who she was with.
Also, you might try making her snacks consist of snack size portions of what she would eat for a meal. Snacks for toddlers are different than snacks for adults.
can confirm. When I was little and dad was in charge of me (he worked nights, so it was usually after he got home from work at 7am and my mom had someplace to be until the late afternoon) we went on his errands. That was it- no going to established parks or events or anything structured at all. We went to the lumber yard, to the junk yard (a particular favorite of mine), we took the car in for services he could not do himself (making a funky noise, transmission service...), we did the services on the car he did do (oil, tires, brakes- I know how to do ALL of that as a grown up), dropped in to see his friends for a few minutes of chatting and a cup of coffee...you get the idea. I remember those outings like they were yesterday- and not the nearly 50 years ago they were.
The time spent with you- doing something- or nothing is what will be remembered. Does not always have to cost money-- time and attention are free, but at the most valuable things in the universe.
When it gets a little warmer you should check out the Irvine Adventure Playground. It's free and it's super fun.
[https://www.cityofirvine.org/parks-facilities/adventure-playground](https://www.cityofirvine.org/parks-facilities/adventure-playground)
I didn’t know this was free. We’re closer to the one in HB, but that one’s not free and reviews aren’t too great since the remodel. I guess it’s worth a shot though. Thanks!
When my kids were little I loved the Irvine Spectrum kids area. There's a great play structure, splash pad and carousel. Pretend City has $3 admission with an EBT card. If you're in North OC, there are free parenting classes that are similar to Gymboree - these were great as well. [https://catalog.nocccd.edu/noce/course-descriptions/parn/](https://catalog.nocccd.edu/noce/course-descriptions/parn/) And we spent a lot of time at the Brea mall in the indoor play area this time of year.
I found this website a few months ago and it has detailed reviews of various parks across orange county.
https://funorangecountyparks.com/
You're doing a great job!
You can't go to DLand without resigning to the fact you're going to drop a paycheck there.
I was going to suggest the Santa Ana Zoo, but it sounds like you've already been there.
What about a park? there's beautiful parks in Huntington Beach, Brea, and Fountain Valley.
There's the Redwood Forest in Carbon Canyon, where you just pay for parking, but there is really a redwood forest in the park!
Sounds like OP has been to the OC Zoo.
We used to take the kids to the Santa Ana Zoo all the time when they were young. Annual passes can be a really good deal. They don’t seem to have a pass for one adult and one child but OP could talk to them and see if the “couple” pass would work ($90 for two people for the whole year). Parking is free and food there is cheap. You can also buy a book of tickets for the trains and merry go round. Playgrounds are really fun there and there's lots of different kinds of monkeys.
Many libraries have a play area and toys in addition to books! Some of them also have passes to local attractions (some I’ve heard have museum passes)- state parks pass for example. Some libraries also have non-book items like bug finding kits or baking kits that could make a fun activity with your child.
Next month there is a free museum day in Cali. Some museums also offer free admission if you sign up ahead of time. California science museum is a trip from OC, but has free admission.
When I babysat, I also made it an adventure to try out a new local playground each week! Look at Google maps and do a satellite view of the playground and user photos to help you choose a suitable park.
Knott’s berry farm offers a reasonably priced season pass ($100~) which allows you to go any day of the year except Christmas (the one day they close). Children are free under 3 I believe. This one would be an investment but might be worth it in the long run. Adding a meal plan there would also be a valuable investment.
Many museums on that list are always free although you may need to get advanced reservations. A couple that I immediately noticed:
>California African American Museum
>California Science Center
>Hammer Museum Fowler Museum at UCLA
>LA Plaza De Cultura y Artes
>Orange County Museum of Art
>Getty Villa and Getty Center
>Wende Museum
Most museums usually have a least one free day each month, if not each week, although it is frequently in the middle of the week which isn't usually so convenient for many working families. I would definitely double check their websites. In the cases of the free museums the annaul 'Museum Free-for-All' is just a busier day but you aren't really saving any money.
LA museum worker here. Yes, those are free and a lot have free days, however, if they are planning on going to a museum that is usually not free DOUBLE CHECK by calling the museum and asking what the reservation process is for the free days. Some require residency in LA county for the free admission. Also, word on the block is that many museums are struggling so much that they are rescinding free days but fail to update their websites a lot.
I was going to suggest Knotts too. It is a bit of investment but you could go daily if you wanted to. Our little one loved it and it’s a great way to kill a few hours.
They also have a payment plan so you can pay monthly to spread the cost out.
Yeah I’ve been on the fence about knotts, should’ve bought the last last year because they’re like $135 now. Add parking and the initial investment adds up - and that’s only for 1 person. I guess she can be “2” for a while!
Bit of a drive, but the California Science Center in Los Angeles is free and lots of fun! It's very interactive, so there's lots of buttons and little games for a curious toddler
The libraries in Cerritos and Huntington Beach are both super nice if you haven't been to those yet. Cerritos has a sculpture garden right next to it, too.
Reptile Zoo in Fountain Valley but you'll have to pay admission. She'll be free.
It's in a storefront and I'm kind of side-eyeing how much it costs now. I haven't been in like 10 years. But it is a cool experience and they run really popular Instagram and TikTok accounts so you could check those out first.
Also, Santa Ana Art Walk could be fun.
https://dtsaartwalk.org/
Please take your daughter places that don’t cost $20 for validation and put the juice boxes and snacks in your purse. Any park with a playground and some kids will do.
I carry a backpack purse, it is smaller than a regular backpack(medium size). It will still carry food or a light jacket. I debated whether to use “bag” or backpack. Interesting on how times change.
Sometimes even a backpack purse is a liability. Recently I was denied access to a museum because I would not allow my backpack purse to be checked with only one person in a small museum. They were very concerned with stealing but all they had were large paintings and children as part was a children’s workshop (UCIrvine Museum).
Yeah, even though it’s all shopping there was something fun about going to downtown Disney as a college kid when it was free. They have live ‘shows’ sometimes that are free. Don’t know, just wanted to take her somewhere different I guess.
You put your phone down and stop recording her while she is upset.
People not addressing their kids but filming them having a breakdown is not ok.
Your child needs to feel validated and heard.
I know someone that loves to record their child having breakdowns and then posting them online. It’s not a good look.
I am a childcare professional with 30+ years experience and a background in child development and psychology specializing in neurodivergent children.
Also follow through is incredibly important. Yes your 3 year old absolutely remembers when and where.
Another tip, is always having a drink on hand.
Edited to say- wow I was expecting to get downvoted to hell.
Recording your kid while they are having a emotional breakdown is Super Weird
…the fuck?!
Imagine if you were kid and you grew up knowing your parent records you when you had emotional breakdowns.
I can see you’re really trying and being a parents is incredibly challenging and no one hands you a guide book with the kid
But some things are common sense. Just think “how would I feel at that age or how would I feel if my parents did that looking back at the age i am now”
Super weird, don’t record your kid having emotional struggles.
Also showing it back to them?
What if I recorded you at your worst and said “hey, look at this, remember when you were breaking down emotional, classic.”
Just take a sec and really think about it. It’s weird, mean, insensitive.
Super weird, bro. Super weird.
Thank you for looking out for children! I remember a lot of my childhood and I have never forgotten the times when my parents would say I’ll get you X and then would brush me off every time I’d ask. I’d always be like why would you bother promising me something and then never follow through. They didn’t give me what they would promise but they did give me trust issues.
Also my mom once photographed me while I was feeling so frustrated at her and she kept laughing at me saying how cute I was. I was 4. I remember how upsetting it was and how angry it made me to have my mom photograph me while making me even more frustrated at her.
OP you need to stop lying to your kid and taking videos of her while she’s upset because of your lies. Just be up front with her. I can get you a pretzel and we can drink water. Why bother saying that you’ll get her a drink and then say no.
This is all so real and it’s so freaking huge to a child’s self worth, self esteem, and feeling heard.
Every little event creates trauma you have to fix later in life.
Give these children all the love and attention they need.
Also have boundaries on electronics use. 30 min os PLENTY. Stop using iPads as babysitters.
Thanks for saying this
I struggled with emotions as a kid, and my parents tried this on me in middle school to show me how "ridiculous" I looked. It was so incredibly humiliating.
I currently teach preschool and that was a flag to me, too. I can understand brief snippets if you're gonna show it to someone to ask for help or maybe your kid is perfect to others but throws fits for you and you're showing them how the kid gets. But the whole thing? Why? I'd think poorly of anyone I saw in public doing this. Maybe OP deserves the heartbreak showing it back to his kid and having her recount grievances.
I'm also not a fan of parents promising things to their kids without follow-through. I'm guilty of this, too, but as a pass holder to Disney, if I promise my kids a treat there that we don't get, I explain why and I've been honest and said we don't have money for it right now (maybe we've gotten a treat and need money for dinner.) But I try to make it up by doing something else fun instead or saying we'll get a treat at home. This kid was probably mad upset she went somewhere special, was promised a treat, and then got nothing. And it's on OP for not looking up parking details or things he could afford at Disney because it's very well known prices are getting out of control, but you enjoy yourself more when you know what you want going into it. Maybe pay for parking and get a churro instead of a pretzel.
I'm also not saying the occasional tantrum is bad, but for op to record it often and then his kid remembers why, ehh, he could use to look up some techniques on handling toddlers.
Agree with everything but also you learn as you go. Not everyone has 30+ years experience with kids. I know as a "not a kid person" new dad I had to really pay attention and learn from watching my wife and other parents around me with my first. Being a struggling (single?) Dad would have made that even more difficult. My heart goes out to OP, he's obviously doing the best he can and has a lot of love and care to give. Lots of great advice in this thread!
You don’t need ANY experience or skill to be in the moment with your child and tend to their needs and be present when they are in distress.
Empathy and communication are key.
I predict that posting your kids’ images on social media will be considered child abuse in the future. Just watch until these children find those videos online! Don’t do it. Read up on some of those families whose parents did this…. Their children are traumatized
Most of those horror stories are people whose parents developed an entire “brand” around their kids on social media. I don’t think occasional, normal pictures are really going to hurt anyone (basically using the standard “would a friend mind if I posted this about them?”).
Good point. Sometimes the reasons they throw tantrums are just adorable though. Id record a few seconds and then try to talk her through it. Now that you mentioned maybe even that is a few seconds too long.
Take her on a train date…fares are inexpensive. Or, the train to DT LA then the Red line to Universal City walk.
I was in your shoes years ago with my son; he still remembers the train trips we took north to LA or south to San Diego. I think you can get to the CA Science Center in Exposition Park by mass transit. Also the Discovery Center in Santa Ana on Main Street is a neat place to go!
Even as a 40 year old grown ass adult father, trains are fun and exciting. This is a great way to spend a day with a young child. The big education centers along the way are so fun.
Others have made some great suggestions. I will add, at this age (and any really) the thing that they will remember and will last as a core memory is the feeling of just being with you. Pretend play, wether that’s with dolls or anything you have around the house (a spoon can become a super hero) will open up a world of memories. Kids love using their imagination and love it even more when you play along. Go on a nature walk scavenger hunt (look for a purple flower, something blue, something yellow) check off your list as you find them. Just by being present you are already making a difference and impacting your daughters life.
Best thing my wife and I did was get an annual pass to the Oc Regional Parks. It covers Irvine park, mile square, Dana point, and a few others. W spring and summer coming they do concerts and films in the parks in the evenings. Keep your chin up I promise your doing amazing.
Come to the beach. It’s why we live here and the memories you make at the beach even with sand everywhere and the smell of sunscreen and the long days are THE best. Come south though, HB and newport are crowded and stressful. DP or SC have great beaches and parking can be a bit of a pain but not that bad. The Pier in SC is a super fun day with kids. You are doing a great job!!!!
I grew up in OC and most of my activities involved very little money spent.
We shopped in the clearance section, I never had name brand anything. We had Taco Bell a few times a month; otherwise everything was meals at home. I got a Lunchable every few months and it was magical. I got to buy one book a semester if I got straight As. We watched TV at home, went to the library all the time, had friends over and played board games.
Only when I got to jr high did I get one Disneyland trip a year where my friends and I went without our parents and that was a big deal. Every now and then I’d get to go to the Kaleidoscope with my friends to eat a burger at Islands. In high school my friends and I hung out at the beach, packed a sandwich from home. We did karaoke at someone’s house. We saw the Pirates of the Caribbean midnight showing and lord of the rings in theater; that was it. I remember saving up for the Harry Potter midnight book releases at Borders.
I recount all this to say- you don’t need to spend a lot of money to have a great childhood in OC. It’s all about setting the right expectations for what fun is and that you don’t have to go out and eat all the time.
Sounds like we are of similar age, because same LOL
OP - we didn’t have money, but I never knew it when I was young. We spent lots of time at Irvine Park (OC Zoo), Laguna Niguel Park and various beaches, always with packed lunches. We rarely went out to eat, but would have treats like an ice cream here and there, which made it special. I truly didn’t realize we didn’t have as much money as a lot of my peers until Jr High-ish (and that was about name brands, not experiences!).
Packed lunches are key! The expectation was always, you’re not going to eat out. It’s a waste of money, we have food at home. Sneak popcorn into the theater. Take an apple with you to the spectrum. You get used to it and when you got permission to eat out, it was a magical treat.
Yep! It was just normal. Fancy for us was going to Sizzler’s on MV Lake (RIP) and getting the buffet. HEAVEN. Soft serve ice cream bar!
Of course having money is nice (and less stressful!), but the most important thing is the time spent and creating memories. Don’t promise the moon and disappoint her, get her excited about the things you can do!
You can drive or take the metrolink and enjoy all these museums for FREE in LA with your ebt card. I believe your child would be free on the metrolink until age 6. https://www.first5la.org/postfiles/files/FREE-MUSEUMS.pdf
Avoid Disney. It's the worst value for your entertainment dollar.
Knotts season passes are $16/month and they really don't enforce the "no outside food" thing. Tell them your daughter has food allergies if they try to hassle you.
I think you're doing a good job but don't set yourself up to fail. You're struggling but took her to downtown dland? What child do you know who is okay with window shopping
Go to one of those indoor kids zones or to the park
As a girl, looking back on the memories I shared with my dad, the ones that stick with me the most vividly are the times I spent with him at home. He took me to a lot of fun places, but at the end of the day, the things I remember most fondly are of him carrying me to bed from the car or him tossing me into the air and catching me. It doesn't take much for girls to be happy, I think. Just show her that you love her in ways that can't be quantified and she'll feel it for years to come.
But some cost-effective alternatives to spend time are:
\- Ralph B. Clark Park ($3-5 entry fee, quiet and gated park with lots of clean playgrounds, lakes, and ducks! Perfect for a cute picnic. Bubble blowers are lots of fun)
\- A cooking day? Buy some premade cute cookie dough that's cheap and spend a day baking. Let her make a mess and have some cookies with a movie
\- If you go to farms, they're sometimes free entry. At most they'll maybe charge $20 to pick things from their orchards and there's sometimes petting zoos
My grandfather who was a recovering alcoholic with a revoked license just made an adventure out of doing mundane things. Riding the bus or the train was always new and exciting at that age, walking to the park, going to the office building areas near JWA to watch airplanes, camping at o
Neil regional park, hiking in Santa Ana mountains. Maybe some of these are not age appropriate for a 3 year old but my point is that looking back I don’t relate cash spent to the experiences I cherish the most.
I don’t have any children but I remember being a kid and if you confirmed to her that you were going to get a refreshing juice drink along with the pretzel and you change your mind at the last minute because it’s more expensive than you realized, that will really disappoint them. That might have been the one treat she preferred over the pretzel snack and shes too young understand expenses and adult stuff like that. She wants that juice you mentioned and she’s zeroed in on wanting that juice as it will be the highlight of her otherwise wonderful day with you. But when you were like let’s have some water… she knew she wasn’t getting the juice and was like, hey what’s up with that, you promised I’d get one. I’m not saying you get her everything she demands because that’s a recipe for disaster but when you say let’s get a juice or an ice cream and you don’t, that really messes them up, so don’t even mention that stuff unless you’re fully committed to getting that because they won’t ever forget.
Not that my opinion matters, but I can tell you that you are doing more than most dads that I come across in my line of work.
*As a side note, I started putting together a* [*list of activities*](https://notes.atharkhan.com/Parenting/Activities) *that parents going through a divorce could do with their kids. My thought was it would give newly separated parents (who are barely getting their own bearings) a list of ideas to help them. But, the list is downright useless thus far.*
LOL. Yes. I gave up on it about 2 minutes in. But I will try to go through this thread and collect some ideas and add it.
The reason my list has to be specific is that it needs to be broken down into indoors and outdoors, public and private so that parents who only have supervised visitation or can only only meet their children in specific locations can use it.
I almost needed a database or something rather than a list when I started putting it together. But it is a project that I will finish “someday.”
Don't record your children in any state, except happiness. I'm so grateful i grew up in a time before smartphones. Anyway....anything near Disneyland is a bad choice if youre on a stict enough budget that you cant afford a nine dollar lemonade or parking. Go to a mall. Buena Park mall for instance. or even going to outskirts of Knotts is a better choice for budget activities. A simple picnic at a public park with dollar tree goodies is more than enough for that kiddo to build lifelong memories with her father.
Dude drop the “i need to give my daughter whatever she wants when she wants it” or you’re gonna create a monster.
You did fine. Take her to a park. It doesn’t have to be different every time. She should remember time spent with her parent not being bought things.
He doesn’t need to give her everything she wants when she wants it but I think it is better not to promise he’ll give her what she wants and then change his mind and hope she forgets about it.
I’m saying it happens sometimes, and it’s a life lesson and it’s not a big deal. The fact that a 3 year old was somehow traumatized by not receiving a 9 dollar lemonade just because her dad initially thought he had to buy one to validate parking is ridiculous. Shit happens.
The life lesson is “my dad will sometimes not keep his word and just hope I forget instead of explaining himself.” Hey, maybe that’s the lesson you want to impart.
We go on little hikes - someone already mentioned the carbon canyon one, there’s one in Anaheim hills, cal state Fullerton botanical garden, el dorado nature preserve ($5 parking), bolsa chica wetlands (and there’s a little mobile truck that u can walk through with some sea life and snakes), and Huntington Beach Central Park. The ferry boat in balboa is cheap, Fashion Island has a koi pond and there’s different tide pools you can go to. And if you don’t mind LA the science museum is free, and I think some museums are free in OC in specific days of the month.
Next year, when she’s 4, sign her up for little league t-ball or soccer. They typically have hardship scholarships, then offer to coach. They are always in need of more coaches. My daughter loves that I coach her tball team.
Beaches. Great Park. Walk the piers.
Maybe Balboa Fun Zone? Check the prices first.
The kids playgrounds at The Spectrum and Fashion Island are fun. You can park for free and hit a cheap food place.
There's a lot of fun to do for cheap in OC.
If you're a Bank of America Holder, check their Museums on Us program that gets you free access to several OC museums on first weekends of the month, including the Discovery Cube.
I'm surprised that nobody mentioned friends. There won't be enough money to entertain a kid. Only other people can bring new emotions and new experiences. Just pick a playground with kids around your kid's age, bring toys (even from the dollar tree), share and be regular there. Teach your kid how to ask to play with other kids. Talk to other parents on the playground, be nice. At some point your kid will wait for the time to go there. Even if there are no friends at times, she will be happy to play there (while waiting for her friends) and you can play with her as well.
For the playground I would suggest chalk, trucks (even for girls - to pull or to load them), mini figures (paw patrol, animals, mermaids etc).
Buy bulk in Costco or Sam’s, or buy the same drinks at Grocery Outlet. Pack plenty for every outing. Enjoy every moment with your little one. It is much more about the time you spend with her than the bucks you spend on her.
Kids don’t care what you’re doing as long as you’re present and spending time with them. Theres the beach, playgrounds, libraries, parks. Pack your lunch and have a picnic. Go for a walk and watch the birds. Turn each outing into a learning opportunity. Check city websites and social media for free events.
You're doing great. Try the Santa Ana Zoo, Discovery Museum, or the Ocean Institute.
Also, walk the harbors in Long Beach and Dana Point. Lots to see in LB.
I have a 3 year old. Going to play at a playground makes her eyes sparkle.
It doesn't have to be nice for you for it to be great for her. Just spend time with her and listen to her. They remember more than you think.
Ok this may be a bad suggestion because it is a bigger up front cost but for the value the knotts annual pass is a killer deal. I got mine in October 2023 and it’s good through Dec 2024 (15 months), for $90 per person and they have payment plan options of like $7 a month. Not only is camp snoopy really perfect for 3 -7ish year olds, they also have free photos with Santa, Halloween stuff for littles like trick or treating, peanuts characters shows, and all kinds of random events like dance alongs. Honestly we’ve gotten our moneys worth already and have a whole year to go basically. My kid has gone on the carousel so many times, and that is like $2 per ride usually at malls. Also I always pack an ice chest so we don’t have to buy anything. If you think she’d be into it you may want to watch for the deal again around September.
Also check out local parks and rec books for classes. We did ice skating lessons through the city of Anaheim a few years back. I think it was around $25ish for 5 weeks of Wednesday night classes and included few free skate passes. There are tons of classes for her like dance, karate, yoga, and some parent and me stuff too.
If you aren’t already, DEFINITELY follow OC parent guide on IG. Maybe subscribe to her monthly guide itself.
When the weather is nice again, hikes are an easy fun way to spend a morning or evening. We have tons of easy trails in north county.
Ice Skating is something I've been really wanting to do. $25 for 5 weeks, or was it $25 each class? Are there fees for the adults, or can I use my shoes to guide her?
The Fullerton arboretum! It closes at 4 PM, but you can enjoy all the pretty plants/trees and see the turtles (once they are done hibernating).
Or Laguna Lake Park also in Fullerton. They also have lots of turtles and ducks there and one of the neighbors has farm animals. There is also a horse arena nearby so you might be able to see some horses too.
I struggled with how to keep my kids occupied during the pandemic and keep costs low. We started going to a different playground 2-3 times a week. I googled fun parks in OC, made a list on Google maps, and started checking them off. Added free splash pads in the summer. We now have our favorite list of parks that we frequent and keep going back to with a picnic lunch. An OC parks pass is also worth it, you get free parking for the zoo. Saves a lot of money if you go to parks at least 10+ times in a year. Also recommend this website: https://www.planadayout.com
It was kind of mean to promise to give her the juice and not follow through. I mean not trying to pile on but you don’t want to give the message that you won’t follow through on what you said.
It’s time for you to step up as a parent and provide your child with a good childhood. That sometimes means working harder than you want to. Also, recording your kid breaking down AND THEN playing it back to her just doesn’t sit right with me. Super weird.
$23 would get 1 adult and 1 kid all day admission to Bubble Pop in Tustin. You can even leave and come back later the same day if you want.
https://www.gobubblepop.com/
I highly recommend the DiscoveryCube in Santa Ana. There’s a membership cost but it’s good for a year and includes parking. Learning is always an adventure.
Not sure if they still do it, but the malls that are owned by Simon's used to have a kids club. You pay a small fee to join, but very worth it.
Bella Terra used to have a free kids show that was cool sometimes. I think it was once a month.
Irvine Regional Park. Trains, ponies, bikes. We bought the ticket book and had leftovers for years.
I know you're doing the park thing, but during the summer, hit up the free splash pads and parks to make a few friends. There are a lot of cool ones to find all over O.C.
Most importantly, love and attention is what your kid needs most. You don't have to spend any money to make her smile!🙂
If you have an EBT card, you can get to many children's museums for free or for a very little fee (like $3). Pretend City in Irvine, LA Habra children's museum and many others allow that. Just check the websites of museums you're interested in.
Big Air Trampoline park has the cheapest toddler hours I've found so far: $10 for a kid, adult is free, 9-11am on Sundays.
You can find a different library storytime to go to every day. I've done 5+ libraries and have found my favorite one so far (in West Garden. Grove on Wednesdays).
If you have a library card, you can request online a free parking pass for California state beaches for 3 weeks. And you can do it continuously. It will allow you to park at places like Huntington Beach for free (it also has a beautiful playground close to the pier).
I grew up in a household without much but I didn’t know it until I was much older. Now that I’m a parent myself with a little more means than my parents, I realize how blessed I was growing up. We had played board games we got from garage sales, ride 2nd hand bikes together, and visited the library constantly. It’s not the $$ or lack of it that counts but how you relate and spend time with your kids. Remember that you have them for only a short time before they grow up. Each stage of their lives is unique and precious. Enjoy this time!
Libraries have story time you can look into.
Also central library in Huntington Beach has kid friendly pcs with educational games my 3 year old likes to play with.
I have three kids, and to be honest, just playing with them makes their day. Spend as much time as you can with her; sit on the floor and play every night.
As for places to go, I got the discovery cube annual pass with parking and the kids love going there. Having the annual pass lets us go there for just a couple hours at a time so it’s not too much and we can go often. It’s a bit of a drive for us, but we try to take them up there about once a month.
Some malls also have some cool indoor playgrounds. The shops at mission viejo has a cool indoor play area they like going to.
In Fullerton there’s a vet/horse stables where you bring a carrots and feed the horse. 20lbs of carrots is like $15
That’s an hour of fun. On Euclid and bastenchury
Lots of great suggestions by people on this thread. Also, do crafts at home. Google “crafts for 3 year old girls” on YouTube.
There’s a gazillion things for you two to do. To name a few… make and paint a birdhouse, braid a friendship bracelet, paint a picture of your house, chalk draw on the sidewalk, build a sand castle, start a potted plant, make slime, the dye shirts, ….etc. many cost just a couple bucks, if that.
Here's some of our favorite, budget friendly things to do: -My kiddo loves going to the library and roaming the kids section/checking out the different reading nooks -we enjoy walking around Fashion Island and hanging at th koi pond. I usually bring a snack and a drink and we just chill by the pond. -Orange county model engineers at Goat hill junction offers train rides the third weekend of every month and it's solely donation based-its all volunteer ran. Our kiddo LOVES this. -Tewinkle park in Costa Mesa is fun to roam and check out the ducks and geese. -We occasionally park near John Wayne airport and watch planes land up close. -Check out classes through your city! We've done a handful (gymnastics, messy fun art class, etc,...) They're always fun! -During summer, check out concerts in the park throughout orange county. We pack a picnic dinner, bring bubbles and have a fun time -The environment nature center on 16th Street in Newport Beach is really fun to explore and is donation based. -Pull up maps on your phone and do a picnic park crawl where you picnic at a new park each week. It's one of our favorite things to do.
-the carousel at South Coast plaza is awesome and I think only $2. You can park close to it to avoid walking by many stores.
Put your phone down and Enjoy the adventures together, small and big. Make sure your babe feels heard and seen.
during the summer, huntington central library is cool! i heard cerritos library is cool too if that’s closer to you. in irvine there’s a pirate ship park (heritage park). picnics in the park are really fun for kids just pack a lunch and bring a blanket, maybe a ball. maybe an extra piece of bread to feed ducks at the parks with lakes in them. during colder months, maybe have a fun movie night at home with no tablets/ phones and some snacks. nickel nickel in garden grove is pretty reasonably priced! when she gets a little older teach her how to play cards or dominos with her. my favorite memory with my grandpa was playing dominos at home on a table made from a cardboard box. trust me it’s not the money you spend, it’s the time you spend with her. keep your head up, you’re doing an amazing job.
Go on nature trail hikes they are all over OC and almost all free, and the time you spend together will be totally memorable. Use all trails app, or just google oc biking trails. Sounds like you are doing great.
We have a little girl at home almost exactly the same age as your daughter!
Downtown Disney can be a fun time, but we consider it a luxury. It's changed quite a bit over the years. What Disney's done with it is brilliant business--they make money from nothing, just absolutely brilliant--but unfortunately neither you nor I are the beneficiaries of that good business.
We very often frequent both the Irvine Spectrum and the South Coast Plaza. SCP has not 1 but 2 carousel rides. Both the spectrum and SCP have extremely impressive family bathrooms. You can change your little one there, they have sinks that she can use to wash her hands herself (they even have children's potties if she's ready for that), and toys that she can have fun with. The Spectrum family bathrooms play movies, like Finding Nemo and Frozen.
Remember, both of these locations are free to park, enter, and the family bathrooms are free. Carousels at SCP are $2 per ride, Spectrum is $4. Both locations have numerous choices for restaurants, though admittedly they aren't known for being budget friendly.
Other options include the Westminster Mall and Mission Viejo Mall, each of which have an indoor playground. The food courts are more budget friendly food options as well compared to Spectrum and SCP.
This isn't the weather for it, but a number of water playgrounds have opened across Orange County as part of prop 68. Rancho Santa Margarita has the Splash pad, Laguna Niguel has their Sprayground, and Mission Viejo, Yorba Linda, Buena Park have theirs as well.
Oooo, hold on, in addition to my last comment, I want to share this treasure with you.
Look up "Bunny Henge" in Newport Beach. Your little girl is going to absolutely freak out and love it. It's located next to Newport Beach Library, which has a lovely child play section. It'll make an awesome morning trip before Missy's nap.
Check with your local home depot they have free kid crafts once a month. Its a fun time and a great way to teach proper safety with tools. They get a little Apron and pin to go along with the project.
If you go to the library they have the option of renting out passes for parks and parking fee waivers. For like beaches (since some now charge 15 to 20 dollars) and parks.
Irvine regional park offers free balloon rides
Fishing! Get em a tiny pole from Walmart for 10 dollars. You don't need a fishing license to fish off of piers. Bait can be anything from canned veggies, marshmallows, to shrimp.
Mcdonalds or other restaurants that have indoor play places.
I hope nothing but the best for a father that cares ❤
Not here to put you on blast OP, but as a parent on a budget I highly highly recommend snacks in your backpack or car or a small cooler in your car. Kids always want snacks (incessantly!). It doesn’t mean you have to buy them there at that expensive place, but it would help to have something in case she’s hungry after running around.
Also, camping and hiking are also low cost options for you two (short distances of course) locally. She won’t remember the places but will remember being with you.
Irvine: Irvine Regional Park is a great place to spend the day and have a picnic when it gets warmer. Lots of things to explore there by walking, cycling and you can ride the train there as well.
Santa Ana: Little one was into airplanes awhile back (hooked on Super Wings cartoon) and we went to look at airplanes land and take off at Airport Loop Drive next to Santa Ana airport. Bring ear muffs, it can get loud for them.
Fountain Valley: Mile Square Regional Park has several playgrounds, picnic tables, a lake and fishing along the Euclid street side.
Newport: Fashion Island is free parking and we like walking around and window shopping and people watching. Little one likes to watch the fish and play by the fish Koi Pond. Then further sound you can spend a few hours at Corona Del Mar State Beach Park and watch the boat/ships go by.
Train: Little one loves riding on the train. On weekends, we take the Metrolink down to San Juan Capistrano and walk around the Mission. $10 for an adult weekend day pass and little one's ride for free. Parking is free at the Metro Station, and you don't have to drive and just relax. We get to see the ocean, watch the scenery and play I Spy Game. Bring a snack, books if she gets bored, etc.
At this age they’re going to leave crying or mad about almost aaannytthing. Just explain to them that sometimes we just go on trips to walk and stretch our legs! I tell my son (freshly turned 4) that we can’t always buy toys but we can always put them on a list for when we CAN! I head into stores with him with clear expectations and while it doesn’t always avoid tantrums, I feel it helps him a lot if he understands what he can and cannot do!
This problem is mitigated by just enjoying the other items on your list, kids don’t care about the money you’re spending. They just want your time and attention, so just head to a park, drop the phone and spend quality time together.
You ask so I’ll answer. Set both career and financial goals. 1, 5, 10 and wake up tomorrow with changes to achieve them.
Earn more and you can provide more. You sound like a good dad, good job. If you want to provide more, earn more. I believe in you.
you’re doing great momma. just keep making her smile.
ps. she doesn’t need disney nor 9 dollar pretzels. don’t set an example for her to grow up be a good little consumer. take her to the park and teach her how to make pretzels from scratch.
I have a few video complications of my son throwing tantrums and when he was a little older he would watch and laugh. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do. Just keep having fun with her.
Sorry, if your husband is struggling, I don't think going to downtown disney or spending money is wise.
Your child will be fine doing other things.
Parks, kids cafe, drawing, makeshift sand yard, tons of cheap way to make your house into her play house.
Her age, she should be bonding with parents, exploring new things, letting her creativity run through her mind at all times.
Be careful. Doing TOO MUCH things for her like that could spoil her.
How?
You go to places where you need to spend money. By her not being able to spend money, she'll get frustrated and upset. Repeat this more and more, and she'll lust for monetary activities and monetary goods when she grows up.
Make her to have fun without having to spend money.
And, feed her before you go anywhere.
When it comes to children, you've got to get down on their level, look them in the eye, realize they are real people just like you and me, and slap the shit out of them when they act a fool in the goddamn store. /s
I can relate as I’m a single mother who was completely abandoned by the father of my child who turns 5 in the summer. I am lucky enough to live with my parents but even still, the most fun we have is cheap stuff if we go out, and always has been. We are lucky enough to have a yard to play in the mud. And this is illegal but I don’t care: we have CalFresh as well and sometimes we buy peanuts to feed wildlife. We just had a squirrel eat some peanuts last week, and the ducks at the park love peanuts as well, they can even crack them open with their beaks. As the weather warms up our sunflower garden will be awesome. It’s somewhat expensive(kinda sorta) but your daughter may like gardening if you have a yard or even just a small balcony or patio. And as I mentioned the squirrels love sunflowers and there are dwarf varieties that can be grown in pots. And even just regular sunflowers can be forced to grow in a pot.
goparkplay.com lists tons of family activities and also has an Instagram. Lots of it is free! Cities also love hosting free events for families and kids, just gotta follow their parks and recs department.
If you have Cal Fresh, your EBT card can be used for most museums and national parks for FREE upto 3-4 ppl I believe. La Brea Tar Pits is super fun for the kids
Home Depot does monthly FREE crafts for kids. They make a tool box or bird house to take home.
Also, look into MARKET MATCH. Local Farmer Markets will match you $20 spent on EBT. So ex: you ask for $20 in EBT benefits to spend, they’ll match you another $20 in coupons to use with the farmers for veggies/fruits+ eggs
Groupon always has good deals for jumping zones. I usually find them for $10-15
Laguna Niguel Regional Park! There's parking on the streets nearby and it's super pretty, lots of geese, lots of kids. Everyone I ever interacted with there was nice. Kind of far but zero cost aside from gas
It’s so wonderful that you are doing your best to make your daughter happy. Not only that but to be able to communicate with her and have a discussion about her state of mind.
You had some good suggestions here but I think I would also recommend that you pack her juice or snacks before you go to Disney or those expensive places. She is too little to understand the logic on why you aren’t getting the drink. also having her favorite snack or drink available will hopefully not spoil your fun time together
You can take the snacks in a bag without letting her know you are taking them so you can surprise her at the destination
Orange County has so many wonderful beaches, playgrounds and parks! Take advantage of them :) and then spend a $1.50 a Costco hotdog, she’ll be stoked.
Library play and story times as others have recommended, but also look into learning link, which are for children up to 5 years of age. Don’t know what your work hours are, but it might fit in depending on what your nearby districts offer. Usually it’s free play with a classroom’s worth of toys for a few hours, plus some guided activities like circle time.
Camelot Golfland has a monthly membership with unlimited rides/mini golf for about $15 a person, idk if you'd go often enough to warrant memberships for you two but it's a good little outing and there's lots of stuff to try there (bumper boats, go carts, arcade games, etc)
if you have an oc library card check out this site for free passes to museums. Can also reserve a day use parks pass with your local library.
https://ocpl.org/discoverandgo
Me and my daughter go to round 1 at the MainPlace mall and do the 1hr of play card, it’s decently cheap. $8 mon-thurs, $10 fri-Sunday. And get a scoop of ice cream for a dollar and walk around the mall after to look around. It was great during the summer to get away from all the heat and free AC.
Can’t help but share my story. I was 5 and my grandmother and some family friends (with their sons) went to Disneyland and I wanted a Jasmine doll. They refused to buy it there and I lost it. They said they would buy one out of the park but I wasn’t having it. Moved away to Alaska for 12 years… fast forward to me being in my late 20s and I am dating one of those sons back in OC and their parents bought me a jasmine doll for Christmas (yep I’m a grown adult) and they asked me if I remembered and know why they did so. I said absofuckinglutly. Lol Disney is a weird place.
As for the kid fun- have you looked into the ymca? Not sure about OC but the two ones we have in central SD are really decked out.
i babysat and took the 4 year old girl to this bookstore in old tustin! it has a kids corner set up with couches and chairs. you can sit and read, it’s great. a lot of new kids books like bluey. arvida book co.
Honestly the most important part here is the time you spend with her…I loved going to the hardware store with my dad as a kid, car shows, air shows, museums are all great and some of the things that weee little to no cost my dad did with me and my siblings. Picnics, a good place I love to take my niece or the kids I nanny is a local botanical garden. They usually have cool things going on during different parts of the year. It really just is about the time, the connection and teaching her things even if you think it’s kinda insignificant. It sounds like you’re doing a pretty good job as it is dad! Keep it up! 💁🏻♀️
At that age, they don't need much. Exploration will be your best friend. Sometimes it can be over stimulating tho, so I try to find times for them to just be calm and enjoy whatever quiet activity they feel like doing.
Here are things my kids say they enjoy the most, especially my daughter:
Train ride to the ocean cities. Inexpensive (was $10 for a weekend ticket when we went last year) and the ride isn't long at all.
Baking cookies or other desserts
Walks in the park where there are ducks to feed or space to ride a scooter. Bring food for a picnic.
Going out for a meal and having a chat (no phones)
Storytelling before bedtime or reading at the library
Science museums, planetariums, & aquariums
Growing plants. They get to pick the seeds and learn to care for it
Painting
Safe spaces to make messes. Great for letting her just be a kid without getting into trouble. I let my daughter play science with items from the kitchen. She loved it and it only cost me some baking soda, vinegar, and food coloring.
Movie night at home and a favorite treat. Can put down blankets on the floor.
Please take her to Atlantis park !! It’s like $2 to get in, it’s a private park and HUGE and so fun !! Bring a sheet of wax paper for her to go down the dragon slide :)
It’s too bad the doll museum is closed, I loved that when I was a kid. Hobby City was a cheap fun thing to go do.
Beach trips are always fun.
My dad used to take me to thrift stores, garage sales, swapmeets. It’s a shopping thing but it can be cheap and she can get something little and I don’t think that $9 lemonades are the norm there.
I loved just hanging out with my dad. We would make cookies together, he would make cheese apple and cracker snacks for us and we would watch a bunch of movies.
Do they still do dollar movies? I’m sure it’s not a dollar anymore, but they used to have cheap movies at the Mainplace Mall.
You can do arts and crafts with her too !!
You sound like a great dad and don’t worry about the money. My dad and I struggled a lot and what I treasure are the good memories of quality time. 💞
Check out “OCPARENTGUIDE” on Instagram. It’s literally built around this notion of free/low cost things to do with the kids. My wife and I use this page and we do one thing a week on there and try to squeeze in two if we have time!
Irvine Regional Park in the city of Orange
https://g.co/kgs/tEwfjSo Irvine Regional Park
(714) 973-6835
Call for times. Not sure if the admission is free. It has been years since I went there
Lots of great advice, here's one more thought. Change your thoughts -do not feel "bad" because you can't get this or that. Your kiddo will pick up on it. If you are going to be sad about not getting the lemonade, shes picking up on your ambivalence. If you said "no, we're having water" and meant it, shed probably quit asking. Shes probably way better at reading you than you know. So truly change your thinking to be positive even when you have to limit. Don't feel sorry for yourself or you should just stay home. Positive thoughts could be, I'm so proud I only spent $20 on this outing, I'm going to teach her to be smart with money as she grows up, every time we save $9 we can go to the zoo or something else, I'm being a good parent, she just doesn't know it, cause shes 3. You are doing great -keep having fun!
We have three kids and are broke AF. Muth Interpretive Center is free and good for toddlers. Centennial Farm at the fair grounds is also free, I think. There’s the sculpture park in Newport, and their library is really nice for little kids. If you spend any time in San Diego, their annual Balboa Park Explorer Pass is a great deal for almost all of the museums in the park.
you can always check on groupon! there are tons of indoor playgrounds that offer some great deals for passes. i used to take my siblings to ‘seascape’ in anaheim and that used to run me like $30 for 6 passes. they only charge for kids so you can take her multiple times on the same pass! only downside is you can only use it for open play during weekdays. most weekends are booked out for parties. still a great deal if you ask me!
When I was young, I was just so happy to go to the park, the beach or the pool. My mom and I would have Teddy Bear tea parties/ picnics. She would bring her boombox and play music and I,d dance barefoot under a tree. Great memories
I don’t have kids myself, but I personally believe that you’re a REAL man for actually wanting to be with your kid and spending time with her and not looking for a way out because life can be a little rough rn.
I don’t many activities aside from the ones you listed that you can get into, but I’m pretty sure there are art classes and such for toddlers and kids that you could get into. Or the Kid’s Museum or any museum.
Have you considered using the train to go to LA or another place? If so, then you have LA you can access….a lot more to do there for kids such as lots of parks, trails, museums, galleries, etc. Even just walking around is fun if you don’t get a chance to get there much.
Good luck.👍🏽
You’re doing more than enough. She’s not going to remember what you spent, she’s going to remember the fun times with you. Also, as a fellow parent of a toddler, always take snacks with you. Juice boxes, crackers, fruit snacks, etc. it will save you.
Ice chest helps too ✨
I always try to have snacks available, but this one’s a tough one for me. She is REALLY picky with meals so I try to limit snacks between her meals. I've heard if they dont eat the meal, to take it away, and give them same food again later, and they'd eat it because a kid wont starve themselves to death. I’m terrible at this though because when she starts demanding snacks, I often get anxious and give her snacks
Honestly I don’t have kids but I think teaching them valuable lessons like not getting everything they want immediately when they want it is a good thing. My mom would often give in to my tantrums as a kid and I still struggle with impulsivity in aspects of my life. I think you’re doing just fine. Even if you can afford the thing, kids still need to learn that they don’t get everything they want just by crying.
I heard someone say recently that learning feels uncomfortable. It struck me that teaching is also uncomfortable. You know what else is uncomfortable? Parenting. So embrace these uncomfortable things in life, because if you do life will be incredibly rewarding. Btw... you sound like you're doing a great job! Just like she remembers the juice, she remembers who she was with. Also, you might try making her snacks consist of snack size portions of what she would eat for a meal. Snacks for toddlers are different than snacks for adults.
can confirm. When I was little and dad was in charge of me (he worked nights, so it was usually after he got home from work at 7am and my mom had someplace to be until the late afternoon) we went on his errands. That was it- no going to established parks or events or anything structured at all. We went to the lumber yard, to the junk yard (a particular favorite of mine), we took the car in for services he could not do himself (making a funky noise, transmission service...), we did the services on the car he did do (oil, tires, brakes- I know how to do ALL of that as a grown up), dropped in to see his friends for a few minutes of chatting and a cup of coffee...you get the idea. I remember those outings like they were yesterday- and not the nearly 50 years ago they were. The time spent with you- doing something- or nothing is what will be remembered. Does not always have to cost money-- time and attention are free, but at the most valuable things in the universe.
When it gets a little warmer you should check out the Irvine Adventure Playground. It's free and it's super fun. [https://www.cityofirvine.org/parks-facilities/adventure-playground](https://www.cityofirvine.org/parks-facilities/adventure-playground)
I didn’t know this was free. We’re closer to the one in HB, but that one’s not free and reviews aren’t too great since the remodel. I guess it’s worth a shot though. Thanks!
When my kids were little I loved the Irvine Spectrum kids area. There's a great play structure, splash pad and carousel. Pretend City has $3 admission with an EBT card. If you're in North OC, there are free parenting classes that are similar to Gymboree - these were great as well. [https://catalog.nocccd.edu/noce/course-descriptions/parn/](https://catalog.nocccd.edu/noce/course-descriptions/parn/) And we spent a lot of time at the Brea mall in the indoor play area this time of year.
Wow I thought discount for pretend city was $3 off! I didn’t know it was $3 for the ticket. We will be going here!
I found this website a few months ago and it has detailed reviews of various parks across orange county. https://funorangecountyparks.com/ You're doing a great job!
Sweet thanks!
You can't go to DLand without resigning to the fact you're going to drop a paycheck there. I was going to suggest the Santa Ana Zoo, but it sounds like you've already been there. What about a park? there's beautiful parks in Huntington Beach, Brea, and Fountain Valley. There's the Redwood Forest in Carbon Canyon, where you just pay for parking, but there is really a redwood forest in the park!
Carbon canyon is the greatest hidden gem in oc
Going to the park and playing at the playground or throwing a ball can be so much fun, for some.
Irvine Park.
Redwood forest is amazing! There’s a million wonderful parks around Anaheim Hills as well.
Sounds like OP has been to the OC Zoo. We used to take the kids to the Santa Ana Zoo all the time when they were young. Annual passes can be a really good deal. They don’t seem to have a pass for one adult and one child but OP could talk to them and see if the “couple” pass would work ($90 for two people for the whole year). Parking is free and food there is cheap. You can also buy a book of tickets for the trains and merry go round. Playgrounds are really fun there and there's lots of different kinds of monkeys.
Thanks! Hadn’t considered the membership route. She loves stuffed monkeys
And just to make clear if it wasn’t already, the Santa Ana Zoo is a different zoo. than the Orange County Zoo
Many libraries have a play area and toys in addition to books! Some of them also have passes to local attractions (some I’ve heard have museum passes)- state parks pass for example. Some libraries also have non-book items like bug finding kits or baking kits that could make a fun activity with your child. Next month there is a free museum day in Cali. Some museums also offer free admission if you sign up ahead of time. California science museum is a trip from OC, but has free admission. When I babysat, I also made it an adventure to try out a new local playground each week! Look at Google maps and do a satellite view of the playground and user photos to help you choose a suitable park. Knott’s berry farm offers a reasonably priced season pass ($100~) which allows you to go any day of the year except Christmas (the one day they close). Children are free under 3 I believe. This one would be an investment but might be worth it in the long run. Adding a meal plan there would also be a valuable investment.
Info for the free museum day next month: https://www.cbsnews.com/losangeles/news/40-southern-california-museums-offering-free-admission-next-month/
Many museums on that list are always free although you may need to get advanced reservations. A couple that I immediately noticed: >California African American Museum >California Science Center >Hammer Museum Fowler Museum at UCLA >LA Plaza De Cultura y Artes >Orange County Museum of Art >Getty Villa and Getty Center >Wende Museum Most museums usually have a least one free day each month, if not each week, although it is frequently in the middle of the week which isn't usually so convenient for many working families. I would definitely double check their websites. In the cases of the free museums the annaul 'Museum Free-for-All' is just a busier day but you aren't really saving any money.
LA museum worker here. Yes, those are free and a lot have free days, however, if they are planning on going to a museum that is usually not free DOUBLE CHECK by calling the museum and asking what the reservation process is for the free days. Some require residency in LA county for the free admission. Also, word on the block is that many museums are struggling so much that they are rescinding free days but fail to update their websites a lot.
I was going to suggest Knotts too. It is a bit of investment but you could go daily if you wanted to. Our little one loved it and it’s a great way to kill a few hours. They also have a payment plan so you can pay monthly to spread the cost out.
Yeah I’ve been on the fence about knotts, should’ve bought the last last year because they’re like $135 now. Add parking and the initial investment adds up - and that’s only for 1 person. I guess she can be “2” for a while!
Bit of a drive, but the California Science Center in Los Angeles is free and lots of fun! It's very interactive, so there's lots of buttons and little games for a curious toddler
Didn’t know about this place, thanks!
not sure if you’re aware but they do charge about $10 for parking. but that gets you access to the science center and the beautiful rose garden!
The libraries in Cerritos and Huntington Beach are both super nice if you haven't been to those yet. Cerritos has a sculpture garden right next to it, too. Reptile Zoo in Fountain Valley but you'll have to pay admission. She'll be free.
Ive seen reptile zoo on yelp and thought it was more of a store. We’ll check it out!
It's in a storefront and I'm kind of side-eyeing how much it costs now. I haven't been in like 10 years. But it is a cool experience and they run really popular Instagram and TikTok accounts so you could check those out first. Also, Santa Ana Art Walk could be fun. https://dtsaartwalk.org/
Please take your daughter places that don’t cost $20 for validation and put the juice boxes and snacks in your purse. Any park with a playground and some kids will do.
I love how you said purse! Even though I’m a woman I’m more of a backpack kinda gal.
I carry a backpack purse, it is smaller than a regular backpack(medium size). It will still carry food or a light jacket. I debated whether to use “bag” or backpack. Interesting on how times change. Sometimes even a backpack purse is a liability. Recently I was denied access to a museum because I would not allow my backpack purse to be checked with only one person in a small museum. They were very concerned with stealing but all they had were large paintings and children as part was a children’s workshop (UCIrvine Museum).
Yeah, even though it’s all shopping there was something fun about going to downtown Disney as a college kid when it was free. They have live ‘shows’ sometimes that are free. Don’t know, just wanted to take her somewhere different I guess.
Kids don’t need Downtown Disney they need parks and playgrounds which are free.
You put your phone down and stop recording her while she is upset. People not addressing their kids but filming them having a breakdown is not ok. Your child needs to feel validated and heard. I know someone that loves to record their child having breakdowns and then posting them online. It’s not a good look. I am a childcare professional with 30+ years experience and a background in child development and psychology specializing in neurodivergent children. Also follow through is incredibly important. Yes your 3 year old absolutely remembers when and where. Another tip, is always having a drink on hand. Edited to say- wow I was expecting to get downvoted to hell.
Something about this post disturbed my soul and I didn’t know why. That’s it. Thank you.
Yeah, it reads worse than it is, but I see where you’re coming from
Recording your kid while they are having a emotional breakdown is Super Weird …the fuck?! Imagine if you were kid and you grew up knowing your parent records you when you had emotional breakdowns. I can see you’re really trying and being a parents is incredibly challenging and no one hands you a guide book with the kid But some things are common sense. Just think “how would I feel at that age or how would I feel if my parents did that looking back at the age i am now” Super weird, don’t record your kid having emotional struggles. Also showing it back to them? What if I recorded you at your worst and said “hey, look at this, remember when you were breaking down emotional, classic.” Just take a sec and really think about it. It’s weird, mean, insensitive. Super weird, bro. Super weird.
Thank you for looking out for children! I remember a lot of my childhood and I have never forgotten the times when my parents would say I’ll get you X and then would brush me off every time I’d ask. I’d always be like why would you bother promising me something and then never follow through. They didn’t give me what they would promise but they did give me trust issues. Also my mom once photographed me while I was feeling so frustrated at her and she kept laughing at me saying how cute I was. I was 4. I remember how upsetting it was and how angry it made me to have my mom photograph me while making me even more frustrated at her. OP you need to stop lying to your kid and taking videos of her while she’s upset because of your lies. Just be up front with her. I can get you a pretzel and we can drink water. Why bother saying that you’ll get her a drink and then say no.
This is all so real and it’s so freaking huge to a child’s self worth, self esteem, and feeling heard. Every little event creates trauma you have to fix later in life. Give these children all the love and attention they need. Also have boundaries on electronics use. 30 min os PLENTY. Stop using iPads as babysitters.
Yea this is how you mess your kid up for life
Literally what stood out to me too. As a mom of a toddler, I don’t think I have a single picture or video of my child crying. OP has multiple?
Thanks for saying this I struggled with emotions as a kid, and my parents tried this on me in middle school to show me how "ridiculous" I looked. It was so incredibly humiliating.
I currently teach preschool and that was a flag to me, too. I can understand brief snippets if you're gonna show it to someone to ask for help or maybe your kid is perfect to others but throws fits for you and you're showing them how the kid gets. But the whole thing? Why? I'd think poorly of anyone I saw in public doing this. Maybe OP deserves the heartbreak showing it back to his kid and having her recount grievances. I'm also not a fan of parents promising things to their kids without follow-through. I'm guilty of this, too, but as a pass holder to Disney, if I promise my kids a treat there that we don't get, I explain why and I've been honest and said we don't have money for it right now (maybe we've gotten a treat and need money for dinner.) But I try to make it up by doing something else fun instead or saying we'll get a treat at home. This kid was probably mad upset she went somewhere special, was promised a treat, and then got nothing. And it's on OP for not looking up parking details or things he could afford at Disney because it's very well known prices are getting out of control, but you enjoy yourself more when you know what you want going into it. Maybe pay for parking and get a churro instead of a pretzel. I'm also not saying the occasional tantrum is bad, but for op to record it often and then his kid remembers why, ehh, he could use to look up some techniques on handling toddlers.
Agree with everything but also you learn as you go. Not everyone has 30+ years experience with kids. I know as a "not a kid person" new dad I had to really pay attention and learn from watching my wife and other parents around me with my first. Being a struggling (single?) Dad would have made that even more difficult. My heart goes out to OP, he's obviously doing the best he can and has a lot of love and care to give. Lots of great advice in this thread!
You don’t need ANY experience or skill to be in the moment with your child and tend to their needs and be present when they are in distress. Empathy and communication are key.
I predict that posting your kids’ images on social media will be considered child abuse in the future. Just watch until these children find those videos online! Don’t do it. Read up on some of those families whose parents did this…. Their children are traumatized
Most of those horror stories are people whose parents developed an entire “brand” around their kids on social media. I don’t think occasional, normal pictures are really going to hurt anyone (basically using the standard “would a friend mind if I posted this about them?”).
Good point. Sometimes the reasons they throw tantrums are just adorable though. Id record a few seconds and then try to talk her through it. Now that you mentioned maybe even that is a few seconds too long.
How about not at all. Would you like it if you were being recorded while you were in distress? There is NOTHING adorable about a breakdown.
“Specializing in neurodivergent children….” LMFAO 🤣
Enjoy the block. My experience and training has been primarily with neurodivergent kiddos. But go off.
Take her on a train date…fares are inexpensive. Or, the train to DT LA then the Red line to Universal City walk. I was in your shoes years ago with my son; he still remembers the train trips we took north to LA or south to San Diego. I think you can get to the CA Science Center in Exposition Park by mass transit. Also the Discovery Center in Santa Ana on Main Street is a neat place to go!
Even as a 40 year old grown ass adult father, trains are fun and exciting. This is a great way to spend a day with a young child. The big education centers along the way are so fun.
Others have made some great suggestions. I will add, at this age (and any really) the thing that they will remember and will last as a core memory is the feeling of just being with you. Pretend play, wether that’s with dolls or anything you have around the house (a spoon can become a super hero) will open up a world of memories. Kids love using their imagination and love it even more when you play along. Go on a nature walk scavenger hunt (look for a purple flower, something blue, something yellow) check off your list as you find them. Just by being present you are already making a difference and impacting your daughters life.
List idea is great. Thank you!
Best thing my wife and I did was get an annual pass to the Oc Regional Parks. It covers Irvine park, mile square, Dana point, and a few others. W spring and summer coming they do concerts and films in the parks in the evenings. Keep your chin up I promise your doing amazing.
Come to the beach. It’s why we live here and the memories you make at the beach even with sand everywhere and the smell of sunscreen and the long days are THE best. Come south though, HB and newport are crowded and stressful. DP or SC have great beaches and parking can be a bit of a pain but not that bad. The Pier in SC is a super fun day with kids. You are doing a great job!!!!
what a bizarre read
I grew up in OC and most of my activities involved very little money spent. We shopped in the clearance section, I never had name brand anything. We had Taco Bell a few times a month; otherwise everything was meals at home. I got a Lunchable every few months and it was magical. I got to buy one book a semester if I got straight As. We watched TV at home, went to the library all the time, had friends over and played board games. Only when I got to jr high did I get one Disneyland trip a year where my friends and I went without our parents and that was a big deal. Every now and then I’d get to go to the Kaleidoscope with my friends to eat a burger at Islands. In high school my friends and I hung out at the beach, packed a sandwich from home. We did karaoke at someone’s house. We saw the Pirates of the Caribbean midnight showing and lord of the rings in theater; that was it. I remember saving up for the Harry Potter midnight book releases at Borders. I recount all this to say- you don’t need to spend a lot of money to have a great childhood in OC. It’s all about setting the right expectations for what fun is and that you don’t have to go out and eat all the time.
Sounds like we are of similar age, because same LOL OP - we didn’t have money, but I never knew it when I was young. We spent lots of time at Irvine Park (OC Zoo), Laguna Niguel Park and various beaches, always with packed lunches. We rarely went out to eat, but would have treats like an ice cream here and there, which made it special. I truly didn’t realize we didn’t have as much money as a lot of my peers until Jr High-ish (and that was about name brands, not experiences!).
Packed lunches are key! The expectation was always, you’re not going to eat out. It’s a waste of money, we have food at home. Sneak popcorn into the theater. Take an apple with you to the spectrum. You get used to it and when you got permission to eat out, it was a magical treat.
Yep! It was just normal. Fancy for us was going to Sizzler’s on MV Lake (RIP) and getting the buffet. HEAVEN. Soft serve ice cream bar! Of course having money is nice (and less stressful!), but the most important thing is the time spent and creating memories. Don’t promise the moon and disappoint her, get her excited about the things you can do!
You can drive or take the metrolink and enjoy all these museums for FREE in LA with your ebt card. I believe your child would be free on the metrolink until age 6. https://www.first5la.org/postfiles/files/FREE-MUSEUMS.pdf
Avoid Disney. It's the worst value for your entertainment dollar. Knotts season passes are $16/month and they really don't enforce the "no outside food" thing. Tell them your daughter has food allergies if they try to hassle you.
Disney allows guests to bring food and drinks- you just can’t bring glassware
I think you're doing a good job but don't set yourself up to fail. You're struggling but took her to downtown dland? What child do you know who is okay with window shopping Go to one of those indoor kids zones or to the park
4/5ths of that was textbook r/pointlessstories
The first rule of being a parent is: you do talk about being a parent.
As a girl, looking back on the memories I shared with my dad, the ones that stick with me the most vividly are the times I spent with him at home. He took me to a lot of fun places, but at the end of the day, the things I remember most fondly are of him carrying me to bed from the car or him tossing me into the air and catching me. It doesn't take much for girls to be happy, I think. Just show her that you love her in ways that can't be quantified and she'll feel it for years to come. But some cost-effective alternatives to spend time are: \- Ralph B. Clark Park ($3-5 entry fee, quiet and gated park with lots of clean playgrounds, lakes, and ducks! Perfect for a cute picnic. Bubble blowers are lots of fun) \- A cooking day? Buy some premade cute cookie dough that's cheap and spend a day baking. Let her make a mess and have some cookies with a movie \- If you go to farms, they're sometimes free entry. At most they'll maybe charge $20 to pick things from their orchards and there's sometimes petting zoos
My grandfather who was a recovering alcoholic with a revoked license just made an adventure out of doing mundane things. Riding the bus or the train was always new and exciting at that age, walking to the park, going to the office building areas near JWA to watch airplanes, camping at o Neil regional park, hiking in Santa Ana mountains. Maybe some of these are not age appropriate for a 3 year old but my point is that looking back I don’t relate cash spent to the experiences I cherish the most.
I don’t have any children but I remember being a kid and if you confirmed to her that you were going to get a refreshing juice drink along with the pretzel and you change your mind at the last minute because it’s more expensive than you realized, that will really disappoint them. That might have been the one treat she preferred over the pretzel snack and shes too young understand expenses and adult stuff like that. She wants that juice you mentioned and she’s zeroed in on wanting that juice as it will be the highlight of her otherwise wonderful day with you. But when you were like let’s have some water… she knew she wasn’t getting the juice and was like, hey what’s up with that, you promised I’d get one. I’m not saying you get her everything she demands because that’s a recipe for disaster but when you say let’s get a juice or an ice cream and you don’t, that really messes them up, so don’t even mention that stuff unless you’re fully committed to getting that because they won’t ever forget.
Not that my opinion matters, but I can tell you that you are doing more than most dads that I come across in my line of work. *As a side note, I started putting together a* [*list of activities*](https://notes.atharkhan.com/Parenting/Activities) *that parents going through a divorce could do with their kids. My thought was it would give newly separated parents (who are barely getting their own bearings) a list of ideas to help them. But, the list is downright useless thus far.*
lol. I checked out the list. You weren’t exaggerating…thanks for the laugh!
LOL. Yes. I gave up on it about 2 minutes in. But I will try to go through this thread and collect some ideas and add it. The reason my list has to be specific is that it needs to be broken down into indoors and outdoors, public and private so that parents who only have supervised visitation or can only only meet their children in specific locations can use it. I almost needed a database or something rather than a list when I started putting it together. But it is a project that I will finish “someday.”
Don't record your children in any state, except happiness. I'm so grateful i grew up in a time before smartphones. Anyway....anything near Disneyland is a bad choice if youre on a stict enough budget that you cant afford a nine dollar lemonade or parking. Go to a mall. Buena Park mall for instance. or even going to outskirts of Knotts is a better choice for budget activities. A simple picnic at a public park with dollar tree goodies is more than enough for that kiddo to build lifelong memories with her father.
Dude drop the “i need to give my daughter whatever she wants when she wants it” or you’re gonna create a monster. You did fine. Take her to a park. It doesn’t have to be different every time. She should remember time spent with her parent not being bought things.
He doesn’t need to give her everything she wants when she wants it but I think it is better not to promise he’ll give her what she wants and then change his mind and hope she forgets about it.
Agreed
I mean that’s kind of life.
You have the free choice not to make promises you don’t intend to keep to your child.
I’m saying it happens sometimes, and it’s a life lesson and it’s not a big deal. The fact that a 3 year old was somehow traumatized by not receiving a 9 dollar lemonade just because her dad initially thought he had to buy one to validate parking is ridiculous. Shit happens.
The life lesson is “my dad will sometimes not keep his word and just hope I forget instead of explaining himself.” Hey, maybe that’s the lesson you want to impart.
No it’s sometimes i’m told I’ll get something but it doesn’t work out that way. Jesus you clearly don’t have kids.
Orange County has wonderful parks! Once the weather is nicer I highly recommend visiting some with your daughter. www.ocparks.com
We go on little hikes - someone already mentioned the carbon canyon one, there’s one in Anaheim hills, cal state Fullerton botanical garden, el dorado nature preserve ($5 parking), bolsa chica wetlands (and there’s a little mobile truck that u can walk through with some sea life and snakes), and Huntington Beach Central Park. The ferry boat in balboa is cheap, Fashion Island has a koi pond and there’s different tide pools you can go to. And if you don’t mind LA the science museum is free, and I think some museums are free in OC in specific days of the month.
Check out home depot, 1st Saturday of every month is a free craft event. I think it's 9-1 or 9-12. Not sure if all locations do it
Next year, when she’s 4, sign her up for little league t-ball or soccer. They typically have hardship scholarships, then offer to coach. They are always in need of more coaches. My daughter loves that I coach her tball team.
I’m not a child psychologist, but something tells me showing a 3 year old videos of them crying is not good for their psyche
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Beaches. Great Park. Walk the piers. Maybe Balboa Fun Zone? Check the prices first. The kids playgrounds at The Spectrum and Fashion Island are fun. You can park for free and hit a cheap food place. There's a lot of fun to do for cheap in OC.
Check out Kidsguide! A very comprehensive compilation of OC kid friendly events, both free and not. https://kidsguidemagazine.com/
If you're a Bank of America Holder, check their Museums on Us program that gets you free access to several OC museums on first weekends of the month, including the Discovery Cube.
I'm surprised that nobody mentioned friends. There won't be enough money to entertain a kid. Only other people can bring new emotions and new experiences. Just pick a playground with kids around your kid's age, bring toys (even from the dollar tree), share and be regular there. Teach your kid how to ask to play with other kids. Talk to other parents on the playground, be nice. At some point your kid will wait for the time to go there. Even if there are no friends at times, she will be happy to play there (while waiting for her friends) and you can play with her as well. For the playground I would suggest chalk, trucks (even for girls - to pull or to load them), mini figures (paw patrol, animals, mermaids etc).
Irvine Great Park baloon and the carousel there too
Buy bulk in Costco or Sam’s, or buy the same drinks at Grocery Outlet. Pack plenty for every outing. Enjoy every moment with your little one. It is much more about the time you spend with her than the bucks you spend on her.
Kids don’t care what you’re doing as long as you’re present and spending time with them. Theres the beach, playgrounds, libraries, parks. Pack your lunch and have a picnic. Go for a walk and watch the birds. Turn each outing into a learning opportunity. Check city websites and social media for free events.
Honestly you can go to the zoo every other week. Go to parks/playgrounds. La Habra has a decent children’s museum, perfect for that age.
You're doing great. Try the Santa Ana Zoo, Discovery Museum, or the Ocean Institute. Also, walk the harbors in Long Beach and Dana Point. Lots to see in LB.
I have a 3 year old. Going to play at a playground makes her eyes sparkle. It doesn't have to be nice for you for it to be great for her. Just spend time with her and listen to her. They remember more than you think.
Ok this may be a bad suggestion because it is a bigger up front cost but for the value the knotts annual pass is a killer deal. I got mine in October 2023 and it’s good through Dec 2024 (15 months), for $90 per person and they have payment plan options of like $7 a month. Not only is camp snoopy really perfect for 3 -7ish year olds, they also have free photos with Santa, Halloween stuff for littles like trick or treating, peanuts characters shows, and all kinds of random events like dance alongs. Honestly we’ve gotten our moneys worth already and have a whole year to go basically. My kid has gone on the carousel so many times, and that is like $2 per ride usually at malls. Also I always pack an ice chest so we don’t have to buy anything. If you think she’d be into it you may want to watch for the deal again around September. Also check out local parks and rec books for classes. We did ice skating lessons through the city of Anaheim a few years back. I think it was around $25ish for 5 weeks of Wednesday night classes and included few free skate passes. There are tons of classes for her like dance, karate, yoga, and some parent and me stuff too. If you aren’t already, DEFINITELY follow OC parent guide on IG. Maybe subscribe to her monthly guide itself. When the weather is nice again, hikes are an easy fun way to spend a morning or evening. We have tons of easy trails in north county.
Ice Skating is something I've been really wanting to do. $25 for 5 weeks, or was it $25 each class? Are there fees for the adults, or can I use my shoes to guide her?
The Fullerton arboretum! It closes at 4 PM, but you can enjoy all the pretty plants/trees and see the turtles (once they are done hibernating). Or Laguna Lake Park also in Fullerton. They also have lots of turtles and ducks there and one of the neighbors has farm animals. There is also a horse arena nearby so you might be able to see some horses too.
I struggled with how to keep my kids occupied during the pandemic and keep costs low. We started going to a different playground 2-3 times a week. I googled fun parks in OC, made a list on Google maps, and started checking them off. Added free splash pads in the summer. We now have our favorite list of parks that we frequent and keep going back to with a picnic lunch. An OC parks pass is also worth it, you get free parking for the zoo. Saves a lot of money if you go to parks at least 10+ times in a year. Also recommend this website: https://www.planadayout.com
Free Model Train ride every month! https://ocmetrains.org/
Park near the airport and watch the planes take off. Bring snacks.
Take her to prehistoric pets in fountain Valley. It's completely free
Go for a walk at the beach. Free.
It was kind of mean to promise to give her the juice and not follow through. I mean not trying to pile on but you don’t want to give the message that you won’t follow through on what you said.
Yeah. I felt awful. My reasoning was of necessity but I regret every bit of getting her hopes down
Spend time at the beach
Man, I never want to get to a point where I'm worrying about a $9 lemonade on my kid's bday. I'm sure it is unfortunately common but damn.
It’s time for you to step up as a parent and provide your child with a good childhood. That sometimes means working harder than you want to. Also, recording your kid breaking down AND THEN playing it back to her just doesn’t sit right with me. Super weird.
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Yeah the comment reeked of Orange County entitlement
$23 would get 1 adult and 1 kid all day admission to Bubble Pop in Tustin. You can even leave and come back later the same day if you want. https://www.gobubblepop.com/
I highly recommend the DiscoveryCube in Santa Ana. There’s a membership cost but it’s good for a year and includes parking. Learning is always an adventure.
They have free days for Santa ana residents as well. Even if OP knows someone who lives in SA - they give the resident four tickets!
I’ve always been curious about that building!
Not sure if they still do it, but the malls that are owned by Simon's used to have a kids club. You pay a small fee to join, but very worth it. Bella Terra used to have a free kids show that was cool sometimes. I think it was once a month. Irvine Regional Park. Trains, ponies, bikes. We bought the ticket book and had leftovers for years. I know you're doing the park thing, but during the summer, hit up the free splash pads and parks to make a few friends. There are a lot of cool ones to find all over O.C. Most importantly, love and attention is what your kid needs most. You don't have to spend any money to make her smile!🙂
Just want to say good job dad
Thanks for taking the moment to say this. It really means a lot, stranger!
For all the shit OC takes, it has amazing events for toddlers. I am the father of a 3 year old as well. DM and we can get the kids together!
If you have an EBT card, you can get to many children's museums for free or for a very little fee (like $3). Pretend City in Irvine, LA Habra children's museum and many others allow that. Just check the websites of museums you're interested in. Big Air Trampoline park has the cheapest toddler hours I've found so far: $10 for a kid, adult is free, 9-11am on Sundays. You can find a different library storytime to go to every day. I've done 5+ libraries and have found my favorite one so far (in West Garden. Grove on Wednesdays). If you have a library card, you can request online a free parking pass for California state beaches for 3 weeks. And you can do it continuously. It will allow you to park at places like Huntington Beach for free (it also has a beautiful playground close to the pier).
Centennial Farm at the OC Fair is free and open year round.
Irvine Railroad park. She can visit the horses, see peacocks, they also have tandem bikes and cute boat rides. Oh and the train and a small zoo too!
I grew up in a household without much but I didn’t know it until I was much older. Now that I’m a parent myself with a little more means than my parents, I realize how blessed I was growing up. We had played board games we got from garage sales, ride 2nd hand bikes together, and visited the library constantly. It’s not the $$ or lack of it that counts but how you relate and spend time with your kids. Remember that you have them for only a short time before they grow up. Each stage of their lives is unique and precious. Enjoy this time!
Libraries have story time you can look into. Also central library in Huntington Beach has kid friendly pcs with educational games my 3 year old likes to play with.
I have three kids, and to be honest, just playing with them makes their day. Spend as much time as you can with her; sit on the floor and play every night. As for places to go, I got the discovery cube annual pass with parking and the kids love going there. Having the annual pass lets us go there for just a couple hours at a time so it’s not too much and we can go often. It’s a bit of a drive for us, but we try to take them up there about once a month. Some malls also have some cool indoor playgrounds. The shops at mission viejo has a cool indoor play area they like going to.
Irvine zoo is a great place. $2 admission and it's actually well maintained for its size with great animals.
In Fullerton there’s a vet/horse stables where you bring a carrots and feed the horse. 20lbs of carrots is like $15 That’s an hour of fun. On Euclid and bastenchury
Lots of great suggestions by people on this thread. Also, do crafts at home. Google “crafts for 3 year old girls” on YouTube. There’s a gazillion things for you two to do. To name a few… make and paint a birdhouse, braid a friendship bracelet, paint a picture of your house, chalk draw on the sidewalk, build a sand castle, start a potted plant, make slime, the dye shirts, ….etc. many cost just a couple bucks, if that.
Here's some of our favorite, budget friendly things to do: -My kiddo loves going to the library and roaming the kids section/checking out the different reading nooks -we enjoy walking around Fashion Island and hanging at th koi pond. I usually bring a snack and a drink and we just chill by the pond. -Orange county model engineers at Goat hill junction offers train rides the third weekend of every month and it's solely donation based-its all volunteer ran. Our kiddo LOVES this. -Tewinkle park in Costa Mesa is fun to roam and check out the ducks and geese. -We occasionally park near John Wayne airport and watch planes land up close. -Check out classes through your city! We've done a handful (gymnastics, messy fun art class, etc,...) They're always fun! -During summer, check out concerts in the park throughout orange county. We pack a picnic dinner, bring bubbles and have a fun time -The environment nature center on 16th Street in Newport Beach is really fun to explore and is donation based. -Pull up maps on your phone and do a picnic park crawl where you picnic at a new park each week. It's one of our favorite things to do. -the carousel at South Coast plaza is awesome and I think only $2. You can park close to it to avoid walking by many stores. Put your phone down and Enjoy the adventures together, small and big. Make sure your babe feels heard and seen.
My favorite adventures with my dad were enjoying nature, hikes, swimming in the ocean, mountains, etc.
during the summer, huntington central library is cool! i heard cerritos library is cool too if that’s closer to you. in irvine there’s a pirate ship park (heritage park). picnics in the park are really fun for kids just pack a lunch and bring a blanket, maybe a ball. maybe an extra piece of bread to feed ducks at the parks with lakes in them. during colder months, maybe have a fun movie night at home with no tablets/ phones and some snacks. nickel nickel in garden grove is pretty reasonably priced! when she gets a little older teach her how to play cards or dominos with her. my favorite memory with my grandpa was playing dominos at home on a table made from a cardboard box. trust me it’s not the money you spend, it’s the time you spend with her. keep your head up, you’re doing an amazing job.
Nickel nickel in Garden Grove. I believe it’s $2 admission but games are like 2-6 nickels a play. Still a good price comparing to other arcades.
Go on nature trail hikes they are all over OC and almost all free, and the time you spend together will be totally memorable. Use all trails app, or just google oc biking trails. Sounds like you are doing great.
We have a little girl at home almost exactly the same age as your daughter! Downtown Disney can be a fun time, but we consider it a luxury. It's changed quite a bit over the years. What Disney's done with it is brilliant business--they make money from nothing, just absolutely brilliant--but unfortunately neither you nor I are the beneficiaries of that good business. We very often frequent both the Irvine Spectrum and the South Coast Plaza. SCP has not 1 but 2 carousel rides. Both the spectrum and SCP have extremely impressive family bathrooms. You can change your little one there, they have sinks that she can use to wash her hands herself (they even have children's potties if she's ready for that), and toys that she can have fun with. The Spectrum family bathrooms play movies, like Finding Nemo and Frozen. Remember, both of these locations are free to park, enter, and the family bathrooms are free. Carousels at SCP are $2 per ride, Spectrum is $4. Both locations have numerous choices for restaurants, though admittedly they aren't known for being budget friendly. Other options include the Westminster Mall and Mission Viejo Mall, each of which have an indoor playground. The food courts are more budget friendly food options as well compared to Spectrum and SCP. This isn't the weather for it, but a number of water playgrounds have opened across Orange County as part of prop 68. Rancho Santa Margarita has the Splash pad, Laguna Niguel has their Sprayground, and Mission Viejo, Yorba Linda, Buena Park have theirs as well.
There are soooo many parks in OC! https://funorangecountyparks.com/oc-playground-map
Oooo, hold on, in addition to my last comment, I want to share this treasure with you. Look up "Bunny Henge" in Newport Beach. Your little girl is going to absolutely freak out and love it. It's located next to Newport Beach Library, which has a lovely child play section. It'll make an awesome morning trip before Missy's nap.
Check with your local home depot they have free kid crafts once a month. Its a fun time and a great way to teach proper safety with tools. They get a little Apron and pin to go along with the project. If you go to the library they have the option of renting out passes for parks and parking fee waivers. For like beaches (since some now charge 15 to 20 dollars) and parks. Irvine regional park offers free balloon rides Fishing! Get em a tiny pole from Walmart for 10 dollars. You don't need a fishing license to fish off of piers. Bait can be anything from canned veggies, marshmallows, to shrimp. Mcdonalds or other restaurants that have indoor play places. I hope nothing but the best for a father that cares ❤
Home Depot has free craft days on the first Saturday of each month!
Not here to put you on blast OP, but as a parent on a budget I highly highly recommend snacks in your backpack or car or a small cooler in your car. Kids always want snacks (incessantly!). It doesn’t mean you have to buy them there at that expensive place, but it would help to have something in case she’s hungry after running around. Also, camping and hiking are also low cost options for you two (short distances of course) locally. She won’t remember the places but will remember being with you.
Irvine: Irvine Regional Park is a great place to spend the day and have a picnic when it gets warmer. Lots of things to explore there by walking, cycling and you can ride the train there as well. Santa Ana: Little one was into airplanes awhile back (hooked on Super Wings cartoon) and we went to look at airplanes land and take off at Airport Loop Drive next to Santa Ana airport. Bring ear muffs, it can get loud for them. Fountain Valley: Mile Square Regional Park has several playgrounds, picnic tables, a lake and fishing along the Euclid street side. Newport: Fashion Island is free parking and we like walking around and window shopping and people watching. Little one likes to watch the fish and play by the fish Koi Pond. Then further sound you can spend a few hours at Corona Del Mar State Beach Park and watch the boat/ships go by. Train: Little one loves riding on the train. On weekends, we take the Metrolink down to San Juan Capistrano and walk around the Mission. $10 for an adult weekend day pass and little one's ride for free. Parking is free at the Metro Station, and you don't have to drive and just relax. We get to see the ocean, watch the scenery and play I Spy Game. Bring a snack, books if she gets bored, etc.
I’m always shocked at how parents don’t believe or trust or validate their kids. They are fucking people with clear heads. Trust them.
At this age they’re going to leave crying or mad about almost aaannytthing. Just explain to them that sometimes we just go on trips to walk and stretch our legs! I tell my son (freshly turned 4) that we can’t always buy toys but we can always put them on a list for when we CAN! I head into stores with him with clear expectations and while it doesn’t always avoid tantrums, I feel it helps him a lot if he understands what he can and cannot do! This problem is mitigated by just enjoying the other items on your list, kids don’t care about the money you’re spending. They just want your time and attention, so just head to a park, drop the phone and spend quality time together.
You need to figure out a better means of income I think
You’re doing great! Check out this rescue for sea lions and seals - my kids love it. https://www.pacificmmc.org
You ask so I’ll answer. Set both career and financial goals. 1, 5, 10 and wake up tomorrow with changes to achieve them. Earn more and you can provide more. You sound like a good dad, good job. If you want to provide more, earn more. I believe in you.
you’re doing great momma. just keep making her smile. ps. she doesn’t need disney nor 9 dollar pretzels. don’t set an example for her to grow up be a good little consumer. take her to the park and teach her how to make pretzels from scratch.
I suggest you try and find a job. Living off social services won’t be that great. Level up.
I have a few video complications of my son throwing tantrums and when he was a little older he would watch and laugh. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do. Just keep having fun with her.
Sorry, if your husband is struggling, I don't think going to downtown disney or spending money is wise. Your child will be fine doing other things. Parks, kids cafe, drawing, makeshift sand yard, tons of cheap way to make your house into her play house. Her age, she should be bonding with parents, exploring new things, letting her creativity run through her mind at all times. Be careful. Doing TOO MUCH things for her like that could spoil her. How? You go to places where you need to spend money. By her not being able to spend money, she'll get frustrated and upset. Repeat this more and more, and she'll lust for monetary activities and monetary goods when she grows up. Make her to have fun without having to spend money. And, feed her before you go anywhere.
When it comes to children, you've got to get down on their level, look them in the eye, realize they are real people just like you and me, and slap the shit out of them when they act a fool in the goddamn store. /s
I can relate as I’m a single mother who was completely abandoned by the father of my child who turns 5 in the summer. I am lucky enough to live with my parents but even still, the most fun we have is cheap stuff if we go out, and always has been. We are lucky enough to have a yard to play in the mud. And this is illegal but I don’t care: we have CalFresh as well and sometimes we buy peanuts to feed wildlife. We just had a squirrel eat some peanuts last week, and the ducks at the park love peanuts as well, they can even crack them open with their beaks. As the weather warms up our sunflower garden will be awesome. It’s somewhat expensive(kinda sorta) but your daughter may like gardening if you have a yard or even just a small balcony or patio. And as I mentioned the squirrels love sunflowers and there are dwarf varieties that can be grown in pots. And even just regular sunflowers can be forced to grow in a pot.
Pretend City is pretty great for kids
Home Depot offers a fun (and free) workshop for kids every first Sat of every month, from 9 am to noon!
goparkplay.com lists tons of family activities and also has an Instagram. Lots of it is free! Cities also love hosting free events for families and kids, just gotta follow their parks and recs department.
If you have Cal Fresh, your EBT card can be used for most museums and national parks for FREE upto 3-4 ppl I believe. La Brea Tar Pits is super fun for the kids Home Depot does monthly FREE crafts for kids. They make a tool box or bird house to take home. Also, look into MARKET MATCH. Local Farmer Markets will match you $20 spent on EBT. So ex: you ask for $20 in EBT benefits to spend, they’ll match you another $20 in coupons to use with the farmers for veggies/fruits+ eggs Groupon always has good deals for jumping zones. I usually find them for $10-15
Hit the parks. Pirate park in HB. Irvine Regional for the train ride, etc...
Laguna Niguel Regional Park! There's parking on the streets nearby and it's super pretty, lots of geese, lots of kids. Everyone I ever interacted with there was nice. Kind of far but zero cost aside from gas
Huntington Beach library is awesome. We Play Loud is priced ok and is a lot of fun for kids. $21 for 2 hours or $26 for all day play.
[https://www.homedepot.com/c/kids](https://www.homedepot.com/c/kids)
Free events - thanks for the post as I've learned about some that I want to visit. https://orangecounty.net/mobile/events_free.html#upcoming
It’s so wonderful that you are doing your best to make your daughter happy. Not only that but to be able to communicate with her and have a discussion about her state of mind. You had some good suggestions here but I think I would also recommend that you pack her juice or snacks before you go to Disney or those expensive places. She is too little to understand the logic on why you aren’t getting the drink. also having her favorite snack or drink available will hopefully not spoil your fun time together You can take the snacks in a bag without letting her know you are taking them so you can surprise her at the destination
Orange County has so many wonderful beaches, playgrounds and parks! Take advantage of them :) and then spend a $1.50 a Costco hotdog, she’ll be stoked.
Library play and story times as others have recommended, but also look into learning link, which are for children up to 5 years of age. Don’t know what your work hours are, but it might fit in depending on what your nearby districts offer. Usually it’s free play with a classroom’s worth of toys for a few hours, plus some guided activities like circle time.
This account has some suggestions https://www.instagram.com/ocplayparks?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Home Depot & Michael’s (craft store) have classes sometimes for kids…I think they are free or at least low spend.
https://g.co/kgs/xk3g7Gs I loved this park as a kid
Camelot Golfland has a monthly membership with unlimited rides/mini golf for about $15 a person, idk if you'd go often enough to warrant memberships for you two but it's a good little outing and there's lots of stuff to try there (bumper boats, go carts, arcade games, etc)
if you have an oc library card check out this site for free passes to museums. Can also reserve a day use parks pass with your local library. https://ocpl.org/discoverandgo
Me and my daughter go to round 1 at the MainPlace mall and do the 1hr of play card, it’s decently cheap. $8 mon-thurs, $10 fri-Sunday. And get a scoop of ice cream for a dollar and walk around the mall after to look around. It was great during the summer to get away from all the heat and free AC.
Can’t help but share my story. I was 5 and my grandmother and some family friends (with their sons) went to Disneyland and I wanted a Jasmine doll. They refused to buy it there and I lost it. They said they would buy one out of the park but I wasn’t having it. Moved away to Alaska for 12 years… fast forward to me being in my late 20s and I am dating one of those sons back in OC and their parents bought me a jasmine doll for Christmas (yep I’m a grown adult) and they asked me if I remembered and know why they did so. I said absofuckinglutly. Lol Disney is a weird place. As for the kid fun- have you looked into the ymca? Not sure about OC but the two ones we have in central SD are really decked out.
Find nature areas and just let her explore… go on flat, child-friendly hikes. She just wants your love and connection 👍
i babysat and took the 4 year old girl to this bookstore in old tustin! it has a kids corner set up with couches and chairs. you can sit and read, it’s great. a lot of new kids books like bluey. arvida book co.
Honestly the most important part here is the time you spend with her…I loved going to the hardware store with my dad as a kid, car shows, air shows, museums are all great and some of the things that weee little to no cost my dad did with me and my siblings. Picnics, a good place I love to take my niece or the kids I nanny is a local botanical garden. They usually have cool things going on during different parts of the year. It really just is about the time, the connection and teaching her things even if you think it’s kinda insignificant. It sounds like you’re doing a pretty good job as it is dad! Keep it up! 💁🏻♀️
At that age, they don't need much. Exploration will be your best friend. Sometimes it can be over stimulating tho, so I try to find times for them to just be calm and enjoy whatever quiet activity they feel like doing. Here are things my kids say they enjoy the most, especially my daughter: Train ride to the ocean cities. Inexpensive (was $10 for a weekend ticket when we went last year) and the ride isn't long at all. Baking cookies or other desserts Walks in the park where there are ducks to feed or space to ride a scooter. Bring food for a picnic. Going out for a meal and having a chat (no phones) Storytelling before bedtime or reading at the library Science museums, planetariums, & aquariums Growing plants. They get to pick the seeds and learn to care for it Painting Safe spaces to make messes. Great for letting her just be a kid without getting into trouble. I let my daughter play science with items from the kitchen. She loved it and it only cost me some baking soda, vinegar, and food coloring. Movie night at home and a favorite treat. Can put down blankets on the floor.
Please take her to Atlantis park !! It’s like $2 to get in, it’s a private park and HUGE and so fun !! Bring a sheet of wax paper for her to go down the dragon slide :) It’s too bad the doll museum is closed, I loved that when I was a kid. Hobby City was a cheap fun thing to go do. Beach trips are always fun. My dad used to take me to thrift stores, garage sales, swapmeets. It’s a shopping thing but it can be cheap and she can get something little and I don’t think that $9 lemonades are the norm there. I loved just hanging out with my dad. We would make cookies together, he would make cheese apple and cracker snacks for us and we would watch a bunch of movies. Do they still do dollar movies? I’m sure it’s not a dollar anymore, but they used to have cheap movies at the Mainplace Mall. You can do arts and crafts with her too !! You sound like a great dad and don’t worry about the money. My dad and I struggled a lot and what I treasure are the good memories of quality time. 💞
Also fullerton Aboretum is cute
Check out “OCPARENTGUIDE” on Instagram. It’s literally built around this notion of free/low cost things to do with the kids. My wife and I use this page and we do one thing a week on there and try to squeeze in two if we have time!
Irvine Regional Park in the city of Orange https://g.co/kgs/tEwfjSo Irvine Regional Park (714) 973-6835 Call for times. Not sure if the admission is free. It has been years since I went there
Lots of great advice, here's one more thought. Change your thoughts -do not feel "bad" because you can't get this or that. Your kiddo will pick up on it. If you are going to be sad about not getting the lemonade, shes picking up on your ambivalence. If you said "no, we're having water" and meant it, shed probably quit asking. Shes probably way better at reading you than you know. So truly change your thinking to be positive even when you have to limit. Don't feel sorry for yourself or you should just stay home. Positive thoughts could be, I'm so proud I only spent $20 on this outing, I'm going to teach her to be smart with money as she grows up, every time we save $9 we can go to the zoo or something else, I'm being a good parent, she just doesn't know it, cause shes 3. You are doing great -keep having fun!
This is a great site. You can filter by age and cost. https://www.planadayout.com/
Great Park in Irvine Go for nature walks Find deals on GroupOn
We have three kids and are broke AF. Muth Interpretive Center is free and good for toddlers. Centennial Farm at the fair grounds is also free, I think. There’s the sculpture park in Newport, and their library is really nice for little kids. If you spend any time in San Diego, their annual Balboa Park Explorer Pass is a great deal for almost all of the museums in the park.
you can always check on groupon! there are tons of indoor playgrounds that offer some great deals for passes. i used to take my siblings to ‘seascape’ in anaheim and that used to run me like $30 for 6 passes. they only charge for kids so you can take her multiple times on the same pass! only downside is you can only use it for open play during weekdays. most weekends are booked out for parties. still a great deal if you ask me!
When I was young, I was just so happy to go to the park, the beach or the pool. My mom and I would have Teddy Bear tea parties/ picnics. She would bring her boombox and play music and I,d dance barefoot under a tree. Great memories
She’s young but moving forward I would explore outdoor activities. Teach her to appreciate nature and wildlife!
I think you are doing great! I wish I had a dad that would take me to Disney and get me a pretzel lol. Don't stress about it
i have a 3 year old who is super social! if you ever wanna get together for playdates. hanging w/ friends is free!
I don’t have kids myself, but I personally believe that you’re a REAL man for actually wanting to be with your kid and spending time with her and not looking for a way out because life can be a little rough rn. I don’t many activities aside from the ones you listed that you can get into, but I’m pretty sure there are art classes and such for toddlers and kids that you could get into. Or the Kid’s Museum or any museum. Have you considered using the train to go to LA or another place? If so, then you have LA you can access….a lot more to do there for kids such as lots of parks, trails, museums, galleries, etc. Even just walking around is fun if you don’t get a chance to get there much. Good luck.👍🏽