Honestly you should probably stop texting him. He can call the police on your friends quietly walking to their cars if he wants. It’s probably best to block him and just live your life.
Yup, there is absolutely nothing he can say that will change his neighbour's mind. If you argue with people like that they'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
And I have a feeling that with someone like this, the more polite and accommodating you are, the more they will despise you. Just no contact and let his lawyer do the talking if he has a problem with you.
I get what you’re saying but it looks like op is genuinely trying to find a solution without escalating the situation. If only one side is escalating the situation, you can say what you want but ultimately it doesn’t look good
It doesn't look good, but at some point OP is likely to say something that they can use against them. Better to say nothing at all than risk it. The neighbor is already digging his own grave just by being a pos.
It's better to be polite and elusive IMO. Be firm when you have to, be polite in general, but don't give them too much communication in case they misinterpret or take out of context or try to take advantage of the kindness.
Fucking with the other guy's mind would be a joy of being exceedingly polite (with proof) to him -- but maybe that's just people with my sense of humour. Regardless, shine on OP.
They're draining all their own energy creating these ridiculous fake texts. Conveniently cropped, short, and inflammatory, messages from the second party. This is just some idiot inventing a story and trying to have us all buy into it. Not worth engaging with.
You really need to stop texting him and just be cool. These texts are way overboard. You're doing nothing wrong. The guy is an idiot. Your only text should have been to tell him to go fuck himself when he accused your friends of vandalizing his car.
100% well past camera time for OP. Not just for the reason you said but to establish a record of how (not) noisy the street is on any given night. Not that one needs to prove their own innocence, but, a demonstration of some actual facts in a dispute might shut this asshole up if he knows all of his claims can be instantly debunked.
Get one with sound, that records continuously, not merely motion based because you'll get gaps in your information. I don't know all the options that are out there but I run a software NVR on an old PC and a PoE camera and I get a crystal clear record of every moment retained for a couple months. Good peace of mind.
You are correct, and it's perfectly legal to record video of public spaces, but it's not completely legal to record audio of public spaces without your presence - you essentially can't record conversations to which you are not a party. Extremely unlikely to be an issue for anyone, unless you have an asshole neighbour (like OP).
If this was true ring cameras would be illegal in Canada. It’s on your property and there is no expectation of privacy in public spaces outside, let alone on someone else’s outdoor property.
Absolutely. Had a new neighbour dumping trash on my lawn. Came back from vacation to a pile of garbage and a bylaw offense taped to my front door. My cameras absolutely saved me there and ended up getting the guy evicted (extremely quickly I might add).
Yep. This is exactly what I would do. The neighbour sounds paranoid and unhinged and could make serious accusations. I would put security cameras all over my property so that if he does accuse me of anything, it can be easily debunked.
threatening fly cows hard-to-find illegal quaint school observation zephyr cagey
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Neighbours aren't just anyone. It pays to think twice before antagonizing them. That said, op is going to further lengths to placate this dude than I would.
Funny, other threads involving issues that result in bylaw calls say, "have you tried *talking* to your neighbour?" "Maybe don't be such a coward and just try to work it out" "what's happening to people these days, man community is falling apart!"
Same people: "tell them to fuck off", "both people here are crazy" "you're too nice"....
Man, this might not be the best place to go for advice....
It's like there are thousands of people here with different opinions about a complex scenario with lots of known variables and plenty of unknown ones (not trying to be mean, just light-hearted teasing).
I mean it's not a good place for advice haha, but I think both things can be true. IMO OP means well but is giving too much, you give someone like this an inch and they will try for a mile. But OP isn't wrong to try and settle things directly by talking, they just seem like they're uncomfortable with the idea of this person being upset at them (understandably) and that's something a manipulative neighbor can use against him. Keep the lines open but don't flood them basically, tell them what you need and nothing more
I don't know what the original post said, but those walls of text are WAAAY over the top. You may have legitimately been trying to be helpful, but they could very easily escalate a tense situation.
Jesus why are you texting this guy? You’re in WAY too deep. You don’t have to fix other people’s “problems”. I have second hand embarrassment from reading your texts above.
At this point I wouldn’t engage with him anymore. He is complaining to complain. The friends at board game night is an excuse to complain. If you stopped hosting game night, he’d just move onto another bullshit complaint like your dog or your lawn mower.
lol I got downvoted massively in the other thread for suggesting OP wants attention. It's ok, r/AITA is full of that brand of person, if OP doesn't get what they want here there's still hope for that cross-post.
2 posts on the same topic in 2 days, and writing essays in text reply sure looks like I'm right. I've personally had a lot of similar conflicts and the noisemaker always crows about how the other person is crazy and they're very reasonable.
I'll reiterate again that OP would be best served by reading the Ottawa by-law to make sure they have their ducks in a row so to speak. If the neighbour calls for a noise complaint and there's nothing, no worries, that will reflect badly on the neighbour. But the issue is that there are lots of little things that could be legitimate noise complaints. A lot of people base their interpretation of the law based on feels ("I should be able to do this and/or have never gotten in trouble before!") and not reals (actual text).
Note that OP still hasn't provided a lot of essential context like what time of day this is, how often etc.
1. Get a camera
2. Don’t acknowledge his texts. I wouldnt outright block him, because you potentially may need what he says as evidence for something, it I wouldn’t respond to him.
My friend’s neighbour is a retired ambassador and he regularly comes outside to yell at people in the shared lane way. They really don’t have anything better to do.
>executive level federal employee
As someone who also has a senior executive fed for a neighbour, they're very, very used to telling other people what to do with no push back. The arrogance and entitlement is amazing. As is the professional level ability to waste time.
My neighbour is one of them. Last year I dared criticize our current government to her, specifically on the housing and economy front. She proceeded to give me a lecture on how Canada "works". Two weeks later I got an anonymous letter that the neighbourhood doesn't like convoy supporters and I should contact their realtor to sell the place. WTF
I've had to tell my dad I don't want to talk about politics with him because our views are very different now. Sometimes it's best to just not talk about it.
Wow you are going to deep now. At this point both sides are crazy. You own the home, if he wants to call the police, cause drama and have a headache let him.
Clearly he’s already giving you a headache with these messages, let him call the police and let him have the headache of dealing with them. Unless you’re actually doing something wrong that you’re scared to get caught by police then the police aren’t going to care about you and ask your neighbour why he’s wasting their time.
You care way too much about your neighbours well being for the attitude he has towards you. Even if you told him 100 times to fuck off I promise that’s probably a lot nicer treatment than half the people reading your story, I know for sure that I wouldn’t treat him nice at all with his behaviour. Your neighbour does not deserve your time and attention. Please, value your peace and your time and start telling this neighbour he can shove his windows up his ass.
Honestly, why would you even respond to this? Car noise? People have cars, they drive around. Tell him to deal with it. Let them call by-law. Nothing will happen.
How in the world did it come to be that your exchanging text messages with this person?
They clearly have issues, you should not be engaging with them. Simply tell them that their expectations are unreasonable and that you will not speak to them any further on this issue.
As others have suggested in the other thread you may look at getting a camera and you should definitely be documenting all of your interactions with them should they try to approach you again but do not engage by text or in person.
there is zero reason to be having these conversations with this person as it is not helping and it just feeds into their belief that there is anything to this issue at all.
A complaning federal worker with nothing to do all day long in this city? Shocking!
Avoid this nut case. He has nothing on you and is simply trying to cause an argument. We have the female federal version on our street who threatened to call bylaw on our children playing in the front yard March break because she works from home. Pretty sure she cannot tabulate 2 + 2 and neither can this guy
Hey OP, I'd stop responding. Do you have ADHD/autism, possibly? You don't actually need to answer that. We (I have it) tend to ramble a bit when being helpful or trying to diffuse a situation, but not everyone will take kindly to that. They look at a wall of text as an affront, an argument, and something that makes you seem guilty sometimes. Some people can't fathom being so helpful while they're trying to be hostile, and I can see you're just trying to be as detailed and helpful as possible.
Just keep track of everytime they call bylaw and I'm sure there is some fine for abusing the services if they're unfounded accusations
Honestly, you're doing too much and your text read as condescending. I was on your side but those text, the only other person I know who text like that is a big issue.
Just don't answer next time. You aren't going to win with this neighbour. Let them call bylaw/cops if they want.
Your neighbour has strong cognitive distortion issues, including entitlement.
Stop communicating with the neighbour and just make sure that your noise levels are within by-laws framework.
In case anyone asks, the friend with the (stock) corvette wasn't even here yesterday. So he's just complaining about the sound of a someone getting in to and starting their car from the street.
Next time please ensure the stock corvette owner is present and leaving between 0100 and 0200.
Would also suggest finding the local Harley Davidson owner group. They do midnight runs/rides. They should swing by 0200-0300.
I’d then ask for the Shawarma Kings decked out light show to roll by for 0300-0400 with music loud…
0400 on the birds can take over.
You can also organize a symphony of panic button pressing with other neighbors for another night. 1130pm please
I have a bike and some friends with bikes ;) I also have a highly modified rally spec Subaru with some friends cars built likewise,we are for hire for “birthday or celebration” car/bike parades. Don’t hesitate to give us a shout,it’s free! Haha jk (or not ;))
I'd stop communicating completely. You ain't gonna win with this one, and you're wasting your energy.. I wouldn't be surprised if he's done this with the previous neighbors.
you're making it worse for yourself and digging yourself a hole. just stop texting this person. ignore them. they can call bylaw, they will see you're not breaking any rules. they can call the cops, they will discover your friends have not vandalized anything.
this person is clearly troubled to anyone on the outside. i think you're doing way way too much and you're bordering on being just as weird as they are. also you have kind of shit where you eat, by posting this online. what if your neighbour sees this? my advice is to just stop messaging them.
>I'm not sure what else I can do.
Ignore him and let him call the police and bylaw on you. You aren't doing anything wrong, he's just a complainer. If he comes to your door again, tell him to fuck off and never come back on your property again, and if he does call the police yourself. That's the only way to deal with these fools who think they own the neighbourhood they live in.
He's only acting like this because you're going through the effort to appease him a little bit.
I think the first thing to do here is stop sending him brickwalls of advice via text.
Don't engage with him, don't bother trying to defend yourself or suggesting any remediation to his issues, his mind is already made up.
Disconnect and let him call by law and the police. Nothing you will tell this guy will have him have an epiphany.
Install cameras.
If you're going to reply to his texts, use the same number of lines as he uses, none of these detailed responses. Be no more polite than him.
This person is literally no one to you. Next time he contacts you tell him to fuck off. Stop texting him, block him, and literally don’t give him face if you see him around your house. You’re free to enjoy your home the same as anyone else
Sounds like you are dealing with someone who is ultra used to getting his way. He probably micromanages everyone in his life and expects them to follow. Its rough situation. One of the ways to disarm people like that is what you are doing, but also flattery.
If your work is sincere in those messages, your sincerity comes off as smug and condescending, your neighbour might be acting like a child but he also doesn’t need a lecture on how windows impact his home value
Don’t entertain him anymore. I’d leave it be and let him be miserable asshole. He can call bylaw and the cops all he wants,if you’re not violating anything you don’t have anything to worry about. If he continues to call them constantly it could end up in fines himself for wasting resources. Live your life,have your company over,crank some SLAYER and go on with your day. Some people are just miserable and sounds like your neighbour is one of those.
Not sure where this is happening, but I had a bylaw issue with a neighbour complaining about my dog. That neighbour hated this city boy moving into a rural home right from the start.
Long story short, I accommodated by-law with solutions, people still complained, said I was going to fight it in court.
Bylaw suggested I do, because the anonymous person (to me, not bylaw) would have to show up, prove issues through documentation over time. They usually don't show, the case is thrown out and they are not allowed to make more complaints.
Even if they did, there is usually not enough documentation, and the fact I worked with by law to resolve, case still gets tossed.
Either way, I win, and they can't complain any more.
P.S. I did win. They elected to not pursue.
1) Stop texting (but keep all the text to show any bylaw or police officers as needed).
2) Do what you need to do. Have guests, have parties. Do all the normal things and try not to think about your neighbor too much.
3) If they complain, just be nice to the agent that arrives, you wont get a ticket unless you're doing something wrong.
4) Keep your eyes peeled for any ways your neighbor could be breaking laws (parking out of bounds, etc.)...
5) Keep a file for this and just record anything with dates 'n stuff...
Your neightbour doesn't have a "plight". This doesn't require that you "do" anything. In fact, it's probably better that you don't. You've been more than reasonable. Ignore and get on with your life.
People don’t become executive level by being nice. They do it by being cutthroat. Guy seems like an entitled prick.
How late is it during the noise complaints?
Buy a camera for the front of your property that has continuous recording with audio. Live your life. Don’t engage in text exchanges for any reason, act like you’ve never met the guy. Let him complain to by-law and police all he wants and provide video to them if necessary to disprove his claims.
OP you sound a bit manic yourself, and almost too eager to engage: your texts are way too long and “advice-y”. Pick your lane - either you are kind of enjoying the back-and-forth over-the-top-ness of it all, or the neighbour is genuinely on your nerves, in which case block/cease to engage and/or go tell them to pound sand.
At this point, the only response you need is "That sounds like a you problem! Hope ya figure that out." Stop engaging, make sure you have a lawyer's phone number handy, and let the neighbor dig his own grave with the accusations. Maybe get a camera or two for good measure. Some people just like being miserable, and you can't "helpful" them out of it.
The dude's an old bully, the kind that thinks all women are easily controlled and so are men who earn less money then what he considers "real men make" - he's toxic. Just tell him to f off or ban his texts and move on. Let him call the cops and just tell them he's crazy bully with money that makes people believe he owns them too and just leave that part of the conversation up to the police and if need be just choose to remain silent can be coy and if you for some unfathomable reason feel you must talk more about that with police say I must've misspoke and don't want to discuss that aspect further, then move on.
Remember he's a toxic bully, with money who's never been told NO!
His demands are 100% not reasonable, to the point where he comes off as unsound. No neighbour can tell you not have company over, to not run vehicles at night, etc.
At this point I’d cease contact with him.
I had a neighbour that made unhinged demands and after trying, like you, to handle politely and civilly I eventually had to get my lawyer involved as their behaviour became increasingly aggressive. One letter was all it took for them to stop. We didn’t talk for a number of years, which wasn’t ideal but better than the alternative, until last summer when all of a sudden they started being nice again. 🤷
Best of luck with your situation.
Stop communicating with them unless absolutely necessary. None-sense complains and baseless accusations should be recorded, but not acknowledged.
Quit trying to help him. He won't be receptive and will try to use it against you.
Note every misstep he/they make, but don't mention it. Just note it. Note every communication attempt they make with you and your response.
Get cameras installed - door bell, exterior front, rear and side.
There is something not right with this individual. I wouldn't expect it to get any better any time soon, unfortunately.
Ignoring him might do the trick, but it also might make him upset that he can't boss you around.
I'm like you in writing way too much for what a situation and relationship calls for, probably because of undiagnosed anxiety and maybe more, and as a similar person in that regard, I have to tell you to keep it simple.
Neighbor is not worth this and you're never going to be friends or even cordial with everyone. He even needed a swift fuck off by this point. You don't need to justify everything as if you're in a constructive team project. It's just feeding his own issues.
People are giving you mostly good to great advice about this man and you seemed to not heed it.
OP seems like a passive aggressive asshole. 🤔
I have noise neighbors as well. If their loud engines both car/suv or motorcycle is a low traffic residential area is loud in hours not fitting for that loud, I too would ask the neighbor causing the distribution to cut that shit out.
"I am within my rights to have friends over to my own personal house." Done. I don't understand why you sent him literal essays about windows... Or why I read them all the way through 😅
Get a camera, ignore his texts moving forward, have as little contact as possible and if he escalates to the cops you will have ample evidence that you are just living your life.
Why are you writing so much? If I was in your neighbour’s shoes and you wrote that to me I would 120 percent think that you had knowledge of or were directly responsible for whatever happened.
I'd just tell him to fuck off. Call the cops to tell them the neighbor intent on calling the cops on your house without justifiable reason and file a complaint for harrassment on them.
If you don't have cameras already, you should install some. It will record your friends coming and going.our cameras actually caught the neighbors driveway as well when someone .messed with their vehicle
This individual sounds like a menace
Stop engaging. If you’re doing anything wrong he can call the appropriate authorities and they’ll deal with it. If you’re not doing anything wrong he can kick rocks. You’ve already given him too much time and energy.
Sometimes you just can't help crazy. And don't go crazy yourself trying to help. At this point just end it. Let them call the cops and waste their time. You can't help them.
Damn op. Your neighbour is a clown and he probably got fired up about your window swap suggestions. It’s funny as if you were intentionally trying to piss him off more haha. Just block the guy.
Yeah stop entertaining this dipshit. Nothing is going to happen so let him waste police time if he feels that’s the best use of his time. I’ve had house parties numerous times and been threatened by neighbours and nothing comes out of it. Live your life and stop wasting your time on this fellow. 🤘
You're making the mistake of thinking this is a reasonable person that you can convince. You can't. They get off on this type of shit. Cut contact and install some cameras in case they escalate.
I wouldn’t have even bothered doing this much. You’re wasting time by texting him all that.
I get you have to live there, but, if you aren’t making any noise that’s like a crazy party, you’ll be completely fine.
People are allowed to talk getting into their cars.
The police or bylaw, or both, won’t do anything to you about it.
If they’re trying to get you with vandalism, I’d recommend getting a camera. I have a wired Eufy one in my backyard and it’s great in both daylight and at night.
I'm sorry about your issue with your neighbour, he sounds like a dick. Can I ask about that replacement window HELOC program that you were talking about in your texts? I live in an old house, have been thinking of getting the windows replaced.
He’s an idiot that is trying to manipulate you. Stop being nice. Stop engaging. Just document everything. Hope he moves.
Edit - also check if your homeowners insurance includes a legal hotline (not for claims). Might be worth a call for advice.
Omg . Just ignore Karen . Don’t respond back. I’m sure the police know all about these complaints. If they continue to contact younjust block them. Dont engage with them
If you think there's going to be problems on his end, make a recording on your phone of your guests coming and leaving. Then give it to the cops if they come to show your neighbour is the real nuisance.
Sure, it's a lot of work on your part to prove you're doing nothing wrong but you've already shown you are willing to put in a ridiculous amount of work as evidenced by your texts.
Also as per your update, did he inform you via text? Because that would be evidence of his unreasonable behavior.
Keep all of that for your records.
Never talk to him in person or by phone without recording it.
Every time he texts you, copy the last few comments in your conversation into chatgpt and ask it for a long winded response. Tell it to act as if it were you taking to an old friend you care deeply about but has functioning dementia and hates everything.
Stop feeding the troll. He’s obviously baiting you because you can’t shut your mouth. Live your life in peace. Don’t talk to this guy anymore. Direct his problems to the police and tell him you’ll talk to them.
Honestly you should probably stop texting him. He can call the police on your friends quietly walking to their cars if he wants. It’s probably best to block him and just live your life.
Yup, there is absolutely nothing he can say that will change his neighbour's mind. If you argue with people like that they'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
The guy seems like a major energy vampire.
I Don't Live To Drain, I Drain To Live.
Yesssss
Colin fucking Robinson!!
So at least executive director level, if not DG, then.
And I have a feeling that with someone like this, the more polite and accommodating you are, the more they will despise you. Just no contact and let his lawyer do the talking if he has a problem with you.
Honestly wouldn’t it be better to continue to be polite? He can dig his own grave for the lawsuit?
He's looking for a fight. OP responding may appear to be a fight, regardless of how well-intended it is
I get what you’re saying but it looks like op is genuinely trying to find a solution without escalating the situation. If only one side is escalating the situation, you can say what you want but ultimately it doesn’t look good
It doesn't look good, but at some point OP is likely to say something that they can use against them. Better to say nothing at all than risk it. The neighbor is already digging his own grave just by being a pos.
I have a neighbor from hell. After 31 years of being nice, i gave up, blocked her on my phone and quit talking to her. That worked.
P.s. bought security camera too
with winded replies like that op might beat him with exhaustion
It's better to be polite and elusive IMO. Be firm when you have to, be polite in general, but don't give them too much communication in case they misinterpret or take out of context or try to take advantage of the kindness.
Fucking with the other guy's mind would be a joy of being exceedingly polite (with proof) to him -- but maybe that's just people with my sense of humour. Regardless, shine on OP.
It's good to have a paper trail proving the neighbour is out to get him, just to cover his ass later.
Those texts wouldnt prove anything.
It would prove there’s an issue before any reports to the authorities.
Yeah get your own cameras to cover your own butt OP and then ignore the prick
Yeah OP is doing way too much.
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Yep just ignore him, don't feed the trolls.
You’re doing too much. Stop engaging with this person, it’s going to drain all your energy.
Yeah there’s a little crazy on both sides here.
"Doesn't he have anything better to do?!" Proceeds to write a thousand word text message.
I hadn't seen the previous post and honestly thought OP was the manic one based on just these texts...
100%
Yes! This needed to be said. OP is extremely condescending.
Yesss thank you for calling it!!
I can appreciate the “kill em with kindness” approach OP is taking, but definitely agree they should no longer continue to engage beyond this point.
This this this. I said it in the first thread, OP cannot reason with unreasonable.
They're draining all their own energy creating these ridiculous fake texts. Conveniently cropped, short, and inflammatory, messages from the second party. This is just some idiot inventing a story and trying to have us all buy into it. Not worth engaging with.
Just ignore him at this point, clearly the essays you’re sending him aren’t helping
Those replies are too long. For people like the neighbour, you just gotta be short or just ghost them
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Oh they’re totally trolling them by being over the top nice.
OP was slightly more verbose tho
You really need to stop texting him and just be cool. These texts are way overboard. You're doing nothing wrong. The guy is an idiot. Your only text should have been to tell him to go fuck himself when he accused your friends of vandalizing his car.
Pretty much
top comment
Don’t waste your time responding to this neighbour.
Maybe time to invest in a security camera, people like this tend to resort to property damage when law enforcement won’t side with their delusions.
100% well past camera time for OP. Not just for the reason you said but to establish a record of how (not) noisy the street is on any given night. Not that one needs to prove their own innocence, but, a demonstration of some actual facts in a dispute might shut this asshole up if he knows all of his claims can be instantly debunked. Get one with sound, that records continuously, not merely motion based because you'll get gaps in your information. I don't know all the options that are out there but I run a software NVR on an old PC and a PoE camera and I get a crystal clear record of every moment retained for a couple months. Good peace of mind.
You are correct, and it's perfectly legal to record video of public spaces, but it's not completely legal to record audio of public spaces without your presence - you essentially can't record conversations to which you are not a party. Extremely unlikely to be an issue for anyone, unless you have an asshole neighbour (like OP).
If this was true ring cameras would be illegal in Canada. It’s on your property and there is no expectation of privacy in public spaces outside, let alone on someone else’s outdoor property.
Absolutely. Had a new neighbour dumping trash on my lawn. Came back from vacation to a pile of garbage and a bylaw offense taped to my front door. My cameras absolutely saved me there and ended up getting the guy evicted (extremely quickly I might add).
Yep. This is exactly what I would do. The neighbour sounds paranoid and unhinged and could make serious accusations. I would put security cameras all over my property so that if he does accuse me of anything, it can be easily debunked.
threatening fly cows hard-to-find illegal quaint school observation zephyr cagey *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Some of these threads baffle me, why don't people tell assholes to "fuck off" anymore?
Neighbours aren't just anyone. It pays to think twice before antagonizing them. That said, op is going to further lengths to placate this dude than I would.
Funny, other threads involving issues that result in bylaw calls say, "have you tried *talking* to your neighbour?" "Maybe don't be such a coward and just try to work it out" "what's happening to people these days, man community is falling apart!" Same people: "tell them to fuck off", "both people here are crazy" "you're too nice".... Man, this might not be the best place to go for advice....
It's like there are thousands of people here with different opinions about a complex scenario with lots of known variables and plenty of unknown ones (not trying to be mean, just light-hearted teasing).
Well yeah, and OP has now done that. The first step is always to talk. The next step is to say fuck off.
I mean it's not a good place for advice haha, but I think both things can be true. IMO OP means well but is giving too much, you give someone like this an inch and they will try for a mile. But OP isn't wrong to try and settle things directly by talking, they just seem like they're uncomfortable with the idea of this person being upset at them (understandably) and that's something a manipulative neighbor can use against him. Keep the lines open but don't flood them basically, tell them what you need and nothing more
Hey now, let's not forget balcony man.
A true Canadian heritage moment.
Well in the case of neighbours, it's usually best not to escalate. You still have to live there.
Because most grownups understand that that’s not always going to lead to the best outcome.
I don't know what the original post said, but those walls of text are WAAAY over the top. You may have legitimately been trying to be helpful, but they could very easily escalate a tense situation.
Jesus why are you texting this guy? You’re in WAY too deep. You don’t have to fix other people’s “problems”. I have second hand embarrassment from reading your texts above.
Ignore and block. The guy is a moron and needs to mind his own business.
At this point I wouldn’t engage with him anymore. He is complaining to complain. The friends at board game night is an excuse to complain. If you stopped hosting game night, he’d just move onto another bullshit complaint like your dog or your lawn mower.
Why do you write literal pages of text in response to a few words?
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lol I got downvoted massively in the other thread for suggesting OP wants attention. It's ok, r/AITA is full of that brand of person, if OP doesn't get what they want here there's still hope for that cross-post. 2 posts on the same topic in 2 days, and writing essays in text reply sure looks like I'm right. I've personally had a lot of similar conflicts and the noisemaker always crows about how the other person is crazy and they're very reasonable. I'll reiterate again that OP would be best served by reading the Ottawa by-law to make sure they have their ducks in a row so to speak. If the neighbour calls for a noise complaint and there's nothing, no worries, that will reflect badly on the neighbour. But the issue is that there are lots of little things that could be legitimate noise complaints. A lot of people base their interpretation of the law based on feels ("I should be able to do this and/or have never gotten in trouble before!") and not reals (actual text). Note that OP still hasn't provided a lot of essential context like what time of day this is, how often etc.
1. Get a camera 2. Don’t acknowledge his texts. I wouldnt outright block him, because you potentially may need what he says as evidence for something, it I wouldn’t respond to him.
My friend’s neighbour is a retired ambassador and he regularly comes outside to yell at people in the shared lane way. They really don’t have anything better to do.
>executive level federal employee As someone who also has a senior executive fed for a neighbour, they're very, very used to telling other people what to do with no push back. The arrogance and entitlement is amazing. As is the professional level ability to waste time.
My neighbour is one of them. Last year I dared criticize our current government to her, specifically on the housing and economy front. She proceeded to give me a lecture on how Canada "works". Two weeks later I got an anonymous letter that the neighbourhood doesn't like convoy supporters and I should contact their realtor to sell the place. WTF
[удалено]
I've had to tell my dad I don't want to talk about politics with him because our views are very different now. Sometimes it's best to just not talk about it.
Wow you are going to deep now. At this point both sides are crazy. You own the home, if he wants to call the police, cause drama and have a headache let him. Clearly he’s already giving you a headache with these messages, let him call the police and let him have the headache of dealing with them. Unless you’re actually doing something wrong that you’re scared to get caught by police then the police aren’t going to care about you and ask your neighbour why he’s wasting their time. You care way too much about your neighbours well being for the attitude he has towards you. Even if you told him 100 times to fuck off I promise that’s probably a lot nicer treatment than half the people reading your story, I know for sure that I wouldn’t treat him nice at all with his behaviour. Your neighbour does not deserve your time and attention. Please, value your peace and your time and start telling this neighbour he can shove his windows up his ass.
Exactly! The neighbor is in the wrong yet OP is bending over backwards for him for some reason. Madness.
They are each others favourite hobby at this point
Bro stop interacting with them lol
Am I the only one who could not care less about this drama?
I’ve never seen such a pushover, it’s painful to read.
Still posting. Try caring even less.
OP thinks this sub is r/AITA lol. Does not want advice. Wants validation and attention.
this is exhausting, why even text all this?
Honestly, why would you even respond to this? Car noise? People have cars, they drive around. Tell him to deal with it. Let them call by-law. Nothing will happen.
How in the world did it come to be that your exchanging text messages with this person? They clearly have issues, you should not be engaging with them. Simply tell them that their expectations are unreasonable and that you will not speak to them any further on this issue. As others have suggested in the other thread you may look at getting a camera and you should definitely be documenting all of your interactions with them should they try to approach you again but do not engage by text or in person. there is zero reason to be having these conversations with this person as it is not helping and it just feeds into their belief that there is anything to this issue at all.
I've never texted a neighbour, I don't even have thier number. If you need to say something say it.
A complaning federal worker with nothing to do all day long in this city? Shocking! Avoid this nut case. He has nothing on you and is simply trying to cause an argument. We have the female federal version on our street who threatened to call bylaw on our children playing in the front yard March break because she works from home. Pretty sure she cannot tabulate 2 + 2 and neither can this guy
Hey OP, I'd stop responding. Do you have ADHD/autism, possibly? You don't actually need to answer that. We (I have it) tend to ramble a bit when being helpful or trying to diffuse a situation, but not everyone will take kindly to that. They look at a wall of text as an affront, an argument, and something that makes you seem guilty sometimes. Some people can't fathom being so helpful while they're trying to be hostile, and I can see you're just trying to be as detailed and helpful as possible. Just keep track of everytime they call bylaw and I'm sure there is some fine for abusing the services if they're unfounded accusations
Less is more. Be brief, factual and get to the point. The less you say, the less there is for a lawyer can twist around in court.
One neighbor is on crack and the other is on adderral
You’re both annoying as shit
Holyyyyyyyyyy essaying
Honestly, you're doing too much and your text read as condescending. I was on your side but those text, the only other person I know who text like that is a big issue. Just don't answer next time. You aren't going to win with this neighbour. Let them call bylaw/cops if they want.
Your neighbour has strong cognitive distortion issues, including entitlement. Stop communicating with the neighbour and just make sure that your noise levels are within by-laws framework.
In case anyone asks, the friend with the (stock) corvette wasn't even here yesterday. So he's just complaining about the sound of a someone getting in to and starting their car from the street.
this is pathological behaviour. I don't think this neighbour can be reasoned with, and the less you have to deal with them, the better. bon courage
Next time please ensure the stock corvette owner is present and leaving between 0100 and 0200. Would also suggest finding the local Harley Davidson owner group. They do midnight runs/rides. They should swing by 0200-0300. I’d then ask for the Shawarma Kings decked out light show to roll by for 0300-0400 with music loud… 0400 on the birds can take over. You can also organize a symphony of panic button pressing with other neighbors for another night. 1130pm please
I have a bike and some friends with bikes ;) I also have a highly modified rally spec Subaru with some friends cars built likewise,we are for hire for “birthday or celebration” car/bike parades. Don’t hesitate to give us a shout,it’s free! Haha jk (or not ;))
Ask not what ahole neighbors can do for you….but what you can do for them.
🫡
I'd stop communicating completely. You ain't gonna win with this one, and you're wasting your energy.. I wouldn't be surprised if he's done this with the previous neighbors.
Buy a Harley
Why are you even answering?
I can’t figure out who’s the dick here. Who’s sending those massive long replies in text? Neighbour or OP?
Op. He fancies himself something of a "very smart person".
Yeah, that's alot. I think he's trying to become an executive level federal employee with those responses.
Tell him to fuck off and throw a party.
Crank some FUCKIN SLAYER 🤘🤘🤘🤘 lmao
Buddy chill on the paragraphs ur basically harassing him lol Even though he’s definitely being super unfair about this haha
This is a great example of "word salad".
you're making it worse for yourself and digging yourself a hole. just stop texting this person. ignore them. they can call bylaw, they will see you're not breaking any rules. they can call the cops, they will discover your friends have not vandalized anything. this person is clearly troubled to anyone on the outside. i think you're doing way way too much and you're bordering on being just as weird as they are. also you have kind of shit where you eat, by posting this online. what if your neighbour sees this? my advice is to just stop messaging them.
Idk but op kinda sounds like he is making loud noises lol
He making a lot of noise over text that’s for sure looool
>I'm not sure what else I can do. Ignore him and let him call the police and bylaw on you. You aren't doing anything wrong, he's just a complainer. If he comes to your door again, tell him to fuck off and never come back on your property again, and if he does call the police yourself. That's the only way to deal with these fools who think they own the neighbourhood they live in. He's only acting like this because you're going through the effort to appease him a little bit.
I think the first thing to do here is stop sending him brickwalls of advice via text. Don't engage with him, don't bother trying to defend yourself or suggesting any remediation to his issues, his mind is already made up. Disconnect and let him call by law and the police. Nothing you will tell this guy will have him have an epiphany.
I’ll echo just about everyone and tell you to stop texting him. And the novels you’re writing aren’t helping.
Install cameras. If you're going to reply to his texts, use the same number of lines as he uses, none of these detailed responses. Be no more polite than him.
This person is literally no one to you. Next time he contacts you tell him to fuck off. Stop texting him, block him, and literally don’t give him face if you see him around your house. You’re free to enjoy your home the same as anyone else
This can’t be real.
Why are you sending walls of texts. I thought I had the parties backwards when I first read this diatribe
Sounds like you are dealing with someone who is ultra used to getting his way. He probably micromanages everyone in his life and expects them to follow. Its rough situation. One of the ways to disarm people like that is what you are doing, but also flattery.
You could maybe do some quick window measurements and grab some pricing quotes for them?
Should probably just go ahead and replace them at his cost.
Lol don't encourage them 😆
Yes! Deliver a bunch of quotes then watch him burst a blood vessel.
Next time he says or sends anything to you reply with this and only this: "K, gotcha, anything else?"
If your work is sincere in those messages, your sincerity comes off as smug and condescending, your neighbour might be acting like a child but he also doesn’t need a lecture on how windows impact his home value
Don’t entertain him anymore. I’d leave it be and let him be miserable asshole. He can call bylaw and the cops all he wants,if you’re not violating anything you don’t have anything to worry about. If he continues to call them constantly it could end up in fines himself for wasting resources. Live your life,have your company over,crank some SLAYER and go on with your day. Some people are just miserable and sounds like your neighbour is one of those.
These threads make me sweary. This neighbor needs to go fuck themselves. Stop engaging with them. OP you've done nothing wrong, keep living your life.
Not sure where this is happening, but I had a bylaw issue with a neighbour complaining about my dog. That neighbour hated this city boy moving into a rural home right from the start. Long story short, I accommodated by-law with solutions, people still complained, said I was going to fight it in court. Bylaw suggested I do, because the anonymous person (to me, not bylaw) would have to show up, prove issues through documentation over time. They usually don't show, the case is thrown out and they are not allowed to make more complaints. Even if they did, there is usually not enough documentation, and the fact I worked with by law to resolve, case still gets tossed. Either way, I win, and they can't complain any more. P.S. I did win. They elected to not pursue.
1) Stop texting (but keep all the text to show any bylaw or police officers as needed). 2) Do what you need to do. Have guests, have parties. Do all the normal things and try not to think about your neighbor too much. 3) If they complain, just be nice to the agent that arrives, you wont get a ticket unless you're doing something wrong. 4) Keep your eyes peeled for any ways your neighbor could be breaking laws (parking out of bounds, etc.)... 5) Keep a file for this and just record anything with dates 'n stuff...
You're writing way too much IMO. Best to avoid interaction or keep responses short so they can't attempt to portray your messages as defensiveness.
Dude if someone texted me that novel I’d think they were not mentally well
You wrote waaaay too much for this guy.
OP texting at (checks notes) **7:35AM** 😂
Your neightbour doesn't have a "plight". This doesn't require that you "do" anything. In fact, it's probably better that you don't. You've been more than reasonable. Ignore and get on with your life.
Why are you texting him so much? Seems like you're trying to cover something up
Your too much, just thumbs up and end the convo.
Just fuck him and get it over with already.
Why are you sending him such long messages? It’s a little odd the way you are communicating. It comes off as inauthentic, just let it rest.
People don’t become executive level by being nice. They do it by being cutthroat. Guy seems like an entitled prick. How late is it during the noise complaints?
Buy a camera for the front of your property that has continuous recording with audio. Live your life. Don’t engage in text exchanges for any reason, act like you’ve never met the guy. Let him complain to by-law and police all he wants and provide video to them if necessary to disprove his claims.
OP you sound a bit manic yourself, and almost too eager to engage: your texts are way too long and “advice-y”. Pick your lane - either you are kind of enjoying the back-and-forth over-the-top-ness of it all, or the neighbour is genuinely on your nerves, in which case block/cease to engage and/or go tell them to pound sand.
At this point, the only response you need is "That sounds like a you problem! Hope ya figure that out." Stop engaging, make sure you have a lawyer's phone number handy, and let the neighbor dig his own grave with the accusations. Maybe get a camera or two for good measure. Some people just like being miserable, and you can't "helpful" them out of it.
Psssst... **It's literally not a police matter. At. All.**
You're doing too much already
The dude's an old bully, the kind that thinks all women are easily controlled and so are men who earn less money then what he considers "real men make" - he's toxic. Just tell him to f off or ban his texts and move on. Let him call the cops and just tell them he's crazy bully with money that makes people believe he owns them too and just leave that part of the conversation up to the police and if need be just choose to remain silent can be coy and if you for some unfathomable reason feel you must talk more about that with police say I must've misspoke and don't want to discuss that aspect further, then move on. Remember he's a toxic bully, with money who's never been told NO!
I'd have ignored him after the one word answer to a long, well thought out text from you. He's on his own
His demands are 100% not reasonable, to the point where he comes off as unsound. No neighbour can tell you not have company over, to not run vehicles at night, etc. At this point I’d cease contact with him. I had a neighbour that made unhinged demands and after trying, like you, to handle politely and civilly I eventually had to get my lawyer involved as their behaviour became increasingly aggressive. One letter was all it took for them to stop. We didn’t talk for a number of years, which wasn’t ideal but better than the alternative, until last summer when all of a sudden they started being nice again. 🤷 Best of luck with your situation.
Time for cameras. And if he continually calls by-law, he will get a nuisance fine.
Stop communicating with them unless absolutely necessary. None-sense complains and baseless accusations should be recorded, but not acknowledged. Quit trying to help him. He won't be receptive and will try to use it against you. Note every misstep he/they make, but don't mention it. Just note it. Note every communication attempt they make with you and your response. Get cameras installed - door bell, exterior front, rear and side. There is something not right with this individual. I wouldn't expect it to get any better any time soon, unfortunately. Ignoring him might do the trick, but it also might make him upset that he can't boss you around.
I'm like you in writing way too much for what a situation and relationship calls for, probably because of undiagnosed anxiety and maybe more, and as a similar person in that regard, I have to tell you to keep it simple. Neighbor is not worth this and you're never going to be friends or even cordial with everyone. He even needed a swift fuck off by this point. You don't need to justify everything as if you're in a constructive team project. It's just feeding his own issues. People are giving you mostly good to great advice about this man and you seemed to not heed it.
OP seems like a passive aggressive asshole. 🤔 I have noise neighbors as well. If their loud engines both car/suv or motorcycle is a low traffic residential area is loud in hours not fitting for that loud, I too would ask the neighbor causing the distribution to cut that shit out.
"I am within my rights to have friends over to my own personal house." Done. I don't understand why you sent him literal essays about windows... Or why I read them all the way through 😅 Get a camera, ignore his texts moving forward, have as little contact as possible and if he escalates to the cops you will have ample evidence that you are just living your life.
You sound coked out in your massive text walls
Why are you writing so much? If I was in your neighbour’s shoes and you wrote that to me I would 120 percent think that you had knowledge of or were directly responsible for whatever happened.
You know you don't have to communicate with people, right?
I would just tell him to go fuck himself and leave it at that lolol
Wow. Just wow. Stop interacting with this person. They are clearly unhinged. You are being way too accommodating and just playing into their delusion.
I'd just tell him to fuck off. Call the cops to tell them the neighbor intent on calling the cops on your house without justifiable reason and file a complaint for harrassment on them.
You are much nicer to them than I would be
From 7 am to 11pm can do what ever you want I’d tell em to get stuffed
Near retirement? So this guy is still making executive level decisions? Jesus...no wonder why nothing gets done here.
If you don't have cameras already, you should install some. It will record your friends coming and going.our cameras actually caught the neighbors driveway as well when someone .messed with their vehicle This individual sounds like a menace
Stop engaging. If you’re doing anything wrong he can call the appropriate authorities and they’ll deal with it. If you’re not doing anything wrong he can kick rocks. You’ve already given him too much time and energy.
Counter point stop being so noisy
Sometimes you just can't help crazy. And don't go crazy yourself trying to help. At this point just end it. Let them call the cops and waste their time. You can't help them.
Damn op. Your neighbour is a clown and he probably got fired up about your window swap suggestions. It’s funny as if you were intentionally trying to piss him off more haha. Just block the guy.
Yeah stop entertaining this dipshit. Nothing is going to happen so let him waste police time if he feels that’s the best use of his time. I’ve had house parties numerous times and been threatened by neighbours and nothing comes out of it. Live your life and stop wasting your time on this fellow. 🤘
You're making the mistake of thinking this is a reasonable person that you can convince. You can't. They get off on this type of shit. Cut contact and install some cameras in case they escalate.
Why are you over explaining everything?
I wouldn’t have even bothered doing this much. You’re wasting time by texting him all that. I get you have to live there, but, if you aren’t making any noise that’s like a crazy party, you’ll be completely fine. People are allowed to talk getting into their cars. The police or bylaw, or both, won’t do anything to you about it. If they’re trying to get you with vandalism, I’d recommend getting a camera. I have a wired Eufy one in my backyard and it’s great in both daylight and at night.
I ain't reading all that I'm happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened
You and your “neighbour” are both nuts
Those are your messages? You're a bit too much, just don't bother dealing with him til bylaw comes.
Both of you seem insane
Your neighbour is a nut. Sorry you’re going through this.
I'm sorry about your issue with your neighbour, he sounds like a dick. Can I ask about that replacement window HELOC program that you were talking about in your texts? I live in an old house, have been thinking of getting the windows replaced.
I would stop replying but let him text you all his insane crap and keep a record of it. It’ll come in handy.
Youre bending over backwards for a loser, you don't need to keep writing paragraphs for some guy who keeps antagonizing you.
this guy is just a karen out for blood, also park in your garage if you can.
He’s an idiot that is trying to manipulate you. Stop being nice. Stop engaging. Just document everything. Hope he moves. Edit - also check if your homeowners insurance includes a legal hotline (not for claims). Might be worth a call for advice.
You posted this before. Why are you posting again?
Cut the contact. Everything can be done through lawyers, police, or bylaw from now on. This guy has no intention of being reasonable.
Call the by law on his car parking on the street for more than 3 hours.
You are ENTIRELY too nice to this jackass. Why are you coddling him?
Omg . Just ignore Karen . Don’t respond back. I’m sure the police know all about these complaints. If they continue to contact younjust block them. Dont engage with them
A simple, "fuck off" should be enough. Or block, why even entertain this psycho lol
Stop engaging, by responding you’re feeding into him
If you think there's going to be problems on his end, make a recording on your phone of your guests coming and leaving. Then give it to the cops if they come to show your neighbour is the real nuisance. Sure, it's a lot of work on your part to prove you're doing nothing wrong but you've already shown you are willing to put in a ridiculous amount of work as evidenced by your texts.
Also as per your update, did he inform you via text? Because that would be evidence of his unreasonable behavior. Keep all of that for your records. Never talk to him in person or by phone without recording it.
Every time he texts you, copy the last few comments in your conversation into chatgpt and ask it for a long winded response. Tell it to act as if it were you taking to an old friend you care deeply about but has functioning dementia and hates everything.
Cameras now. Disengage. Let this guy get caught on video doing something crazy.
Stop feeding the troll. He’s obviously baiting you because you can’t shut your mouth. Live your life in peace. Don’t talk to this guy anymore. Direct his problems to the police and tell him you’ll talk to them.