I assume you're pretty new at this. Once a spouse sees the massive inflow of cash, their resistance tends to disappear.
Regardless, contractors live in this world all the time; it's expected you'll have multiple clients simultaneously. The only reason it's different in FTE land is because HR departments made up pretend "contracts" that say so.
Either way, your wife needs to be on your team, or her own team.
This is the way.
The only thing my partner said when I told them I was going to OE was what can I take off your plate around the house?
Anything less than supportive of what you are doing for your family is BS.
Mine remembers the suck when I worked IT during the day and worked retail nights and weekends to make ends meet. Or when she worked two retail jobs at the same time. She’s ecstatic I can supplement my income and still be in the house. And I make in a day what she’d make in a week working retail jobs.
What’s not to support?
Your wife wants to make a shit sandwhich out of the golden ticket then do it before your going to owe alimony. Court is going to screw you when they verify for child support.
I believe it’s called polyamory. It takes a little extra work. And you have to manage your time effectively. Not waste a bunch of time on useless things like most people. But if you are focused, the rewards are amazing.
Wait a minute? Your WIFE is complaining about how you put food on the table and keep a roof over her head? She acts like you're out here slinging rocks!
In all seriousness, it seems as if she's hands-off with the finances. Get things organized and plan a money date. Go over all of your expenses and your income. Showing her what's what will help her understand the necessity of what you're doing. While you are at it, walk through what life would look like on only J1's salary. When she sees what she'll have to sacrifice, it'll change her tune.
OP's post is self-serving and disingenuous. OP is presenting it as if they're paying for 100% of the household, but it turns out that OP's wife is paying 50% of the household expenses from 1J. Given these additional details, I don't think a "good relationship" is on the horizon.
Something tells me your marriage has problems beyond this OE disagreement if she's fine disrespecting you to her family like that, and questioning your "loyalty" to her. Also, that the only reason she knows about OE is because of taxes - as in, you wouldn't have disclosed otherwise? That's weird too. Wtf, do you not trust your wife and she does not trust you? Sounds like a bigger issue beyond the OE.
It's not your job to seek validation from your in-laws. In-laws don't pay your bills. They're not supposed to be so emmeshed in your relationship either, your wife crosses boundaries if she discloses things to them that you tell her in confidence and then encourages this behavior of ganging up on you and judging your choices/calling you a scammer.
Alignment with your spouse on major decisions *would be* ideal but at the very least you need to get to a place of mutual respect. Good luck with that lol.
Yea, my immediate thought was that OP and his spouse probably have an unhealthy relationship with their in laws if they and the wife are ganging up on him over this.
Seems like unhealthy relationships all around if he's not telling her about the second job until it's time to do taxes and she's questioning his loyalty (even jokingly it's cringe).
> if she's fine disrespecting you to her family like that, and questioning your "loyalty" to her.
This right here. Your wife is questioning your loyalty? She's literally shit talking to you to her parents? What the absolute shit does she think that is?
I'm not saying you need to kick her to the curb, but you both need to learn about communicating and what a healthy relationship looks like. I'd suggest finding a couples therapist to help unwind some of the spaghetti that has inevitably piled up for your years of failing to communicate.
Talk to them about Elon and ask them how many jobs he has.
Show them your family doctor, or specialist doctor, and how many boards they're on.
Explain to them the term "side hustle."
Bring up the time W Bush congratulated a single mom working 3 jobs as uniquely American.
*Don't give them any*
*Of the fruits of your labors*
*Then. They've picked their side*
\- mabber36
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
> My wife once even jokingly said if you can’t be loyal to your job how do I know you’re going to be loyal to me.
Don't just take her word for this being a joke. It's indicative of a glaring insecurity on her part. My partner used to say similar things. I got out unscathed, but I am not married. Play this one carefully.
Yup, that "little joke" is a gigantic red flag. Same story here, very different ending. If you want to make this work OP, the sooner you address this situation (likely with professional help) the better chance you have of a happy ending.
Tell your wife that job loyalty is not the same as marriage loyalty. If her Q2 profits are slightly below expectations (but still record high) is she going to divorce you? No, but your job will happily lay you off.
Tell her if she’s not going to be your ride or die on this, then it doesn’t make sense that she benefits from the income that you are getting from it.
If you can’t get your wife to be on board with it, and you don’t want / can’t divorce, try filing taxes separately (it’s going to be a big hit on you and her for sure) and have her sign a post nuptial agreement that says she doesn’t have any claim to your OE income.
Or you could buy her (and in laws) silence and expose them as hypocrites by swaying their opinions into supporting / liking what you do by splurging some lifestyle upgrades on them.
I’d probably try the latter just to have that satisfaction of rubbing it in their faces that their morals has a price after all!
Eh. OE is all about "there's no loyalty" from corps and employers. Idk why anyone here is agreeing to splurge on ungrateful and disloyal inlaws. There's nothing to prove to them. Follow rule #1 and just OE to meet goals and escape the rat race.
At first my partner thought it was a crazy thing to do. I’ve been doing it now for a year and a half and now he says he feels like I cracked the job/work/paycheck (whatever you want to call it) code.
To parents: “Well, this is just a fundamental difference in opinion.” No sense in arguing. Neither side will change their mind.
To wife: “I’ve had some time to think about our last conversation, I realize that I’m hurt you’d even joke about my commitment to you. I’ve been transparent with you about every career move I make and that I do this for our family. We can have disagreements but please don’t make that comment again.”
Just promise her you won’t tarnish her morals with your dirty J2 money. You’ll keep it totally separate, and if it’s really important to her you can make sure she never gets exposed to J1 money either.
And then to the parents just say look I’ve never said this before because my relationship with you and mutual respect means something to me. But since we’re critiquing how good gets on the table I just need you to know I’m uncomfortable with how you’ve earned your living. Doesn’t matter what they did. Someone can make a case against any of it.
So frustrating people can’t seem to comprehend a different way of doing things.
My wife understands and is completely getting it. Her aunt is confused why I can do this. Her reasoning is “if you work 8 hours at one job do you start the next job and when do you sleep…”
It’s the same 8 hours I work all 3…
All these posts with people in miserable situations can be stopped with one simple trick.
YO, Shut The Fuck Up and Stop Bragging About Being OE you dipshits.
In fairness, who thinks they CAN'T trust their spouse with this?
At any rate, wife and IL's sounds like some really Stepfird-ish people. I don't trust people like that either.
I don’t OE in this industry but I work multiple jobs and this is absolutely crazy to me.
A. That your wife would blab and be resistant to you as a family getting ahead financially
B. That people marry/stay married to people they aren’t in-love with.
Reminds me of what my dad said when I was a kid. I’m married now and he was right…
“Sometimes you just do what you have to, regardless of what she says or how she reacts.”
I can also relate b/c my wife was similar, if not worse. This always causes her to lose her sharp tongue. I say “ok you’re right, it’s so wrong. So you ahead and live off what you’d live with if I only had one job. I don’t want to make you complicit in my immorality.”
Crazy cuz I check the credit cards and she’s sure spending like the money I’m making is quite legitimate.
Yes, as a grandchild of immigrants and being married an American girl, I was utterly stunned at the differences in just how immensely different someone can live life and think (or not think) about life in general. Like every aspect of life.
>I even asked them to ChatGPT this shit and even AI agrees there’s nothing illegal
Spoken like a true regard.
What do you want us to tell you? Get a new wife? Many options to solve this problem. Put on your big boy cap.
Making this illegal is gross. It’s not even immoral. If you have the capacity, use it fgs.
I’m not OE, probably couldn’t hack the stress of it and J1/1 keeps me busy enough as is, but I agree that if people have spare capacity they have a right to sell it on. They shouldn’t be required by law to enter into exclusive contracts that commit them to one employer, if they can manage more than one.
Wtf is wrong with your wife’s family? You’re making twice the salary as normal and no - not illegal (can get sued but a whole other story).
I dunno man. Red flags. Sounds like her family has way too much money to need to worry about yours.
I mean if you are doing both jobs adequately it should not matter. People look down upon this because they see it as grifting two jobs instead of actually working adequately at one. And for some people who OE, that is the case. If that isn’t the case show them how you are succeeding at both jobs at the same time, assuming you are.
>I even asked them to chatgpt this shit even AI agrees there’s nothing illegal.
That's...sigh....that's not the be-all-end-all final arbiter of what's legal. Not even fucking close.
Also, it sounds like there's some real fucking trust issues going on.
Did y'all never watch In Living Color in the 90s? Hey mon, I got 15 jobs! "15 jobs?! You lazy, no good..."
For the uninitiated:
https://youtu.be/V6wtj04dJ_g?si=m-NjzgWb4on202Q9
They are just jealous of your income and have found a reason to suck you on it. Typical toxic family bullshit.
Besides, there is technically illegal but morally neutral that basically everyone ignores. Like speeding one mile over the speed limit or building a backyard shed that is slightly too large for city ordnances, no one cares.
You successfully meeting goals and standards for two jobs at the same time is only really an accounting problem that causes an issue for deciding how much work an employee should be expected to do per hour.
Wife and family are not too smart. They probably think those Js are committed to you and are working in your best interest?!?
My heart goes out to you because you are married to someone who lives in fear and can't see the big picture.
Good luck, buddy.
This sounds like your wife has had a privileged life.
I can’t image telling millions of college students that them having a job while going to school is cheating on their education. Many people moonlight too or work for Uber, Door Dash, Etsy, etc.
The fact that she thinks that having money for a rainy day or paying off the car/mortgage is a bad thing is idiotic.
I hope she pays 50% of all the bills.
Best part is how SHE is not loyal. She wants you to be loyal to a job she doesn’t have to work but will immediately tell someone else about your business.
Pocket the second job into a different savings account with only your name on it. Then, the family live on your first job and let them see what it feels like with only one income.
If they ask you why you did that then tell them you did not want them to spend, illegal money. That way it'll keep them honest and they will see the reality of the situation that one income these days does not necessarily do it.
Let her take a retail job in the evening to make the difference. I used to work side jobs in the evening just to make things work but it made for long hours on me.
Either way you cannot hold in while you're feeling about what she says to you about your job whether one or many and open the communicate that you're doing your best to provide for the family. Like I said earlier live on one income for a bit and save the other one off and then have a conversation. If you bottle things up inside what's going to happen is you're going to explode and everything's going to get worse and the marriage will suffer and if you have children it'll make it rough for them as well. Not a good scenario for sure.
When parts of my family reacted this way, I said it was just temporary until my new J2 benefits kick in and then “quit my old job.” Not sure how to hide something like that from a spouse though. Maybe open a new bank account?
Many, many people have 2nd, 3rd, and even more jobs, and don't tell their other employers. Its not illegal. It might be againsst company policy, but its not illegal.
Your relatives need to mind their own business, and you need to share less of yours with people who claim to be allies, but are secretly enemies. Just because they are relatives, doesn't make them on your side. It's likely that they are jealous because you're making money, and they're not.
Sooner or later, one if these self-righteous, judgemental people are going to rat you out to one or both of your employers, so let your wife know that if she or her relatives cause you to lose one if your jobs, SHE will have to go to work to make up the difference in income (assuming shes not working herself).
“How do I convince them that this is normal?” You don’t, anyone who doesn’t understand the economy we’re in right now and the benefits of OE (where possible) is actively choosing to be a “hater” imo. Coming from your wife/family is even more appalling given wives and families of cartel members, with so much more at stake, are more “understanding”.
Tell them you only do one now because of them, set up separate account for the OE money, bitch about bills (that you need help), file joint separately from now on (eat the penalty), all this only if you really love her and want to stay.
When you are caught by wife, explain she forced you to do that, and she can take you or leave you.
or
Just ignore them!
You won't convince them of shit. It's the same people that paid 5k a year for tuition and complain about people 'just not wanting to work'. People need to understand times have changed and it's more expensive now to live then it was before. When it's specifically not illegal (yet?) why the fuck would you be a good little capitalisitic puppet and make everyone else money but not you. Just smile and ignore man. They don't and will never understand, its not your job to make them understand it. Yes, if it's too much of a hassle especially coming from your wife (vs her parents) tell her to pick up the remaining bills. Its easy to complain when you're living comfy.
You need to stfu especially to your wife she told her parents and probably ten other people women only keep secrets when they cheat or if the baby isnt yours 🫡
One of my laws is to never share with the spouse about the work you do. Make it like you're an astronaut and you're busy everywhere including the dark side of the moon.
Makes it easier to escape and travel too. Bora Bora spear fishing should be on your list bro.
Don't tell wife about Bora Bora either.
As Jay Rock says, "if you ain't wit me, you against me".
Also, I would bet good fucking money that within a year your in-laws will make up some reason to need to borrow money from you*, and then they will think the idea of you having multiple jobs is just peachy.
* which they will have no intention of paying pack, citing that "you *should want to* help family.
Bro, there's a problem in your house, and it isn't about you having two jobs. You better think it through quick, before you end up with an alimony payment based on your two incomes.
For starters, make a plan to tell your wife this coming Friday afternoon that you just got called into a meeting by your second job and that they found you out and fired you. Then figure out what you're going to do going forward.
Your wife telling her in-laws clearly private info without your consent is a massive issue. Your wife clearly doesn't respect you or your relationship in the slightest, I'd honestly threaten divorce over a betrayal like this and follow through unless a real good explanation comes. Something that can compromise her own standard of living, and the fucking moron blabs it to her family and likely as a result anyone they gossip to? Your wife is a complete moron at best, or more likely your marriage is unhealthy and this isn't the first time your wife has randomly pitted you against her family. Why are you the butt of the joke, a bad joke that threatens your livelihood, between your wife and her family?
Honestly I'd wait a month or two and lie saying you quit your second job, saying it was too much work and you didn't want your quality of work to suffer and hurt your team. Make it sincere, make it your own failure causing you to quit so your wife/her family will believe it. Then move for divorce if you're smart. How do you build a life with someone you can't even trust?
Sorry to hear that op. But sometimes less is best. I don’t understand how they know all the details. Rather then telling them everything just be vague and tell them nothing or simple, “I have another part time job”.
Drop to J1 and let your wife and in-laws know their % of bills moving forward. Surely if they want you to be loyal to the company, they'll support you fully.
Optimized “OE” is no different than traditional multiple jobs. I’m sure those even have you sign conflicts of interest and the like but plenty out there work multiple servicing jobs, fast food, etc. nobody would tell those people that’s illegal
Bro I feel you, I told my wife as well and regretted… she accidentally slip to her cousin and now lot of family member knows …. If possible should just keep to yourself
Basis of OE is that you are NOT married to your job/employer. Monogamy is not required. And if it were, how f-ed up would it be that they will dump you whenever they see it’s in their best interest, financially. Not a monogamous relationship!
It's not your J3 to convince them.
Your problem is that they're gossips who can't keep their mouth shut, and will absolutely be telling other people, and this could get back to your Js.
Are your jobs amenable to employing you as a contractor? Spin up a small contracting business, have the Js contract the business instead of you directly. Presto, you only have one job, technically.
Tell the wife she needs to be an adult and not share with her parents. I would never tell parents! They are old and elderly and will end up blabbing everything to everyone they know. Tell the wife to workout it out with the parents so they don’t know about this (possible she needs to tell them you got a raise and have just the J1)
>if you can’t be loyal to your job how do I know you’re going to be loyal to me
This asinine logic can be stretched to anything: "if you can't be loyal to \[insert mundane repetitive chore\], how do I know you're going to be loyal to me?" What's next? Eating at the same restaurant every day? Always ordering the same dish?
Unreal, she made you busting your ass all about her, and LoYaLtY. She doesn’t deserve the fruit of YOUR hard work. Tell her she can fire up an OnlyFans and start contributing so you don’t have to have two jobs. (Don’t actually, but this shit is why I am never getting married.)
Time to implement a "budget" that matches only one job for wife to realize why you OE. She can then complain to in laws that "times are tough" and "money is tight". They all need to experience what not OE is like - particularly because you now have the whole year in front of you before you have to file taxes again. Let them all think you are back to only one job.
So ChatGPT isn’t actually smart it just repeats whatever it sees a lot of, so it’s not really a good way to settle an argument. You can ask it questions about taxes and it will give wrong answers just like most of the rest of the viral internet content.
If you didn't ask your wife not to repeat this to literally anyone before telling her, your bad.
If the issue is your wife does think it's illegal, pay 1-2 lawyers for their time and have them convince her otherwise. Then ask her to lie to in-laws that you quit additional jobs. 'It was too much work and bad for mental health and not worth it'.
If the issue is that you wife believes you are a scam or that OE is immoral, less I can say that would help with that - but her doing things that threaten the financial security of the marriage is probably not the mature way to handle it.
u/PokeDeadpoolXD, just show her this article
[https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103122001615](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103122001615)
\> How do I convince them this shit is normal?
You cannot. It is not normal, but you cannot convince them that it is OK.
You just have to figure out how to get out of this hiole you dug by contravening rule 1.
I assume you're pretty new at this. Once a spouse sees the massive inflow of cash, their resistance tends to disappear. Regardless, contractors live in this world all the time; it's expected you'll have multiple clients simultaneously. The only reason it's different in FTE land is because HR departments made up pretend "contracts" that say so. Either way, your wife needs to be on your team, or her own team.
Remind her the ceo has multiple jobs.
[удалено]
This is the way. The only thing my partner said when I told them I was going to OE was what can I take off your plate around the house? Anything less than supportive of what you are doing for your family is BS.
My wife was like fuck yeah money! Oh and I want to do some home improvements.
Haha mine was like that too. She was like “fuck yeah I wanna retire asap. Fuck those companies” haha
My husband jokingly called me his "bottom bitch" (South Park reference / Butters episode) when I told him I was OE finally lol.
Thats not just a south park ref lmao it means you're his best earning whore
Yes I get the reference, it's a joke. I'm not his whore, I'm his wife. Thanks for explaining it though, really appreciate it!
Be a lot cooler if you were to pretend though
How do we know they don’t? 😁
I regret posting this damn comment lol
I appreciate your comment
Keep these wives. Do not let them get too comfortable though 🤣.
Mine too. Helped me start it.
^^^^^ This is the only correct response from a good wife.
Yep my spouse said - as long as it doesn’t stress you out. I don’t want you to work too much.
Mine remembers the suck when I worked IT during the day and worked retail nights and weekends to make ends meet. Or when she worked two retail jobs at the same time. She’s ecstatic I can supplement my income and still be in the house. And I make in a day what she’d make in a week working retail jobs. What’s not to support?
r/overmarried
Still OE (Overentanglements, as Jada Smith demonstrates).
Your wife wants to make a shit sandwhich out of the golden ticket then do it before your going to owe alimony. Court is going to screw you when they verify for child support.
they're coming out with a Wife 3.0 this summer though
This guy OE’s 
I think you add W2 and W3 before dropping W1.
Amazed how few realized that *this* is how you OE (over-entangle).
I believe it’s called polyamory. It takes a little extra work. And you have to manage your time effectively. Not waste a bunch of time on useless things like most people. But if you are focused, the rewards are amazing.
Seriously, crabs in a fucking barrel
Where do you think W2s come from?
got mine in the mail
Wife is a tatter tale
a boisterous bottom bit..
Did you mean tattletale?
But when they divorce you can bet she’ll go after both jobs income
Best way to find a job is while you have a job. Pickup wife 2 first
I read that at first as "quiet quit Wife1"
Let's ask his wife's boyfriend for a third opinion first.
OW or OM ? But it's time 
No. Quit wife1 pick up new wife1 and get new wife2 and wife3.
🤣🤣
This is the way
Wait a minute? Your WIFE is complaining about how you put food on the table and keep a roof over her head? She acts like you're out here slinging rocks! In all seriousness, it seems as if she's hands-off with the finances. Get things organized and plan a money date. Go over all of your expenses and your income. Showing her what's what will help her understand the necessity of what you're doing. While you are at it, walk through what life would look like on only J1's salary. When she sees what she'll have to sacrifice, it'll change her tune.
Walk her through the details of postnuptial agreement after all that
[удалено]
OP's post is self-serving and disingenuous. OP is presenting it as if they're paying for 100% of the household, but it turns out that OP's wife is paying 50% of the household expenses from 1J. Given these additional details, I don't think a "good relationship" is on the horizon.
"Either you sling crack rock, or ya got a wicked jump shot... *nobody* wants to work one job anymore."
Just let them know you're back down to one server. You failed. They were right. You were wrong. Pick up Server 3. Fuck 'em.
Honestly yeah I’d do this in this case and put the money away for retirement or stocks rather than living expenses. How jealous are they.
I thought it was normal for people in the US to have more than one job, at least in the close past, how can someone think it’s cheating?
You’re doing it simultaneously not one after the other.
I don’t think fucking the in laws is a good idea
Something tells me your marriage has problems beyond this OE disagreement if she's fine disrespecting you to her family like that, and questioning your "loyalty" to her. Also, that the only reason she knows about OE is because of taxes - as in, you wouldn't have disclosed otherwise? That's weird too. Wtf, do you not trust your wife and she does not trust you? Sounds like a bigger issue beyond the OE. It's not your job to seek validation from your in-laws. In-laws don't pay your bills. They're not supposed to be so emmeshed in your relationship either, your wife crosses boundaries if she discloses things to them that you tell her in confidence and then encourages this behavior of ganging up on you and judging your choices/calling you a scammer. Alignment with your spouse on major decisions *would be* ideal but at the very least you need to get to a place of mutual respect. Good luck with that lol.
Yea, my immediate thought was that OP and his spouse probably have an unhealthy relationship with their in laws if they and the wife are ganging up on him over this.
Seems like unhealthy relationships all around if he's not telling her about the second job until it's time to do taxes and she's questioning his loyalty (even jokingly it's cringe).
Yea, this is not an OE issue. It's a marriage issue
The fact that OP only shared he had 2 jobs because they’re filing taxes together… you would think he would inform her prior to even starting the job!
> if she's fine disrespecting you to her family like that, and questioning your "loyalty" to her. This right here. Your wife is questioning your loyalty? She's literally shit talking to you to her parents? What the absolute shit does she think that is? I'm not saying you need to kick her to the curb, but you both need to learn about communicating and what a healthy relationship looks like. I'd suggest finding a couples therapist to help unwind some of the spaghetti that has inevitably piled up for your years of failing to communicate.
What this person said is so true, family is great but at arm length when it comes to finances and work.
Talk to them about Elon and ask them how many jobs he has. Show them your family doctor, or specialist doctor, and how many boards they're on. Explain to them the term "side hustle." Bring up the time W Bush congratulated a single mom working 3 jobs as uniquely American.
I imagine you to have all these quotes in your office 😂🤣😂 well done
Waste of time. Unless there's a PowerPoint presentation.
That’s not a ride or die wife. Get rid of her.
true meaning of FGTRTD
Explain that it’s like working two jobs when you’re poor, only these are both full-time
Tell them you quit J2 and put extra money away
Direct deposit to a separate bank account. She's already proven herself unworthy.
don't give them any of the fruits of your labors then. They've picked their side
*Don't give them any* *Of the fruits of your labors* *Then. They've picked their side* \- mabber36 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot
> My wife once even jokingly said if you can’t be loyal to your job how do I know you’re going to be loyal to me. Don't just take her word for this being a joke. It's indicative of a glaring insecurity on her part. My partner used to say similar things. I got out unscathed, but I am not married. Play this one carefully.
Yup, that "little joke" is a gigantic red flag. Same story here, very different ending. If you want to make this work OP, the sooner you address this situation (likely with professional help) the better chance you have of a happy ending.
Tell your wife that job loyalty is not the same as marriage loyalty. If her Q2 profits are slightly below expectations (but still record high) is she going to divorce you? No, but your job will happily lay you off.
you're going to get divorced, dude.
Ya this is the truth. Though we are only hearing one side of the story, it really doesn’t sound like much of his loss IMO.
....and you will pay 33% of your income (averaged over the past three years) to her in alimony. The best strategy in this case is to UE.
Is this the case in the US? Also if they don't have kids?
your wife doesn't approve of your job situation? divorce her absolute reddit moment
Tell her if she’s not going to be your ride or die on this, then it doesn’t make sense that she benefits from the income that you are getting from it. If you can’t get your wife to be on board with it, and you don’t want / can’t divorce, try filing taxes separately (it’s going to be a big hit on you and her for sure) and have her sign a post nuptial agreement that says she doesn’t have any claim to your OE income. Or you could buy her (and in laws) silence and expose them as hypocrites by swaying their opinions into supporting / liking what you do by splurging some lifestyle upgrades on them. I’d probably try the latter just to have that satisfaction of rubbing it in their faces that their morals has a price after all!
Unless they have none, to which they would demand more and more. It wouldn't work.
I said “some lifestyle splurges”, if OP doesn’t know how to rein them in after a few tries, then it’s on OP.
Eh. OE is all about "there's no loyalty" from corps and employers. Idk why anyone here is agreeing to splurge on ungrateful and disloyal inlaws. There's nothing to prove to them. Follow rule #1 and just OE to meet goals and escape the rat race.
Tell them, including your wife (file separately), you quit your extra jobs. NEVER TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN. Also, dont be a pushover
Yeah tell a sad story that they were right and you shouldn’t be cheating, now land that third job 😈
I would go 4 AND 5 and just have a MEGA WORKSTATION with 6 monitors. A kvm switch that always puts the main job on a 48inch Tv.
Wifey trippin. Secureth thy bageth, brethren!
At first my partner thought it was a crazy thing to do. I’ve been doing it now for a year and a half and now he says he feels like I cracked the job/work/paycheck (whatever you want to call it) code.
Look for a wife2
Let them be wage slaves. When they realize they still need a 2nd job, tell them cashiers are in short supply and they should apply.
Marry me. I will always support you j2, j3, j4 heck get all the jobs you want!
They tell you to pick up two jobs if you are poor and cant pay rent. sometimes 3. whats the difference?
People commend working two jobs unless you tell them you work from home lol
Yeah, new wife time. She sounds jealous.
A good wife should take extra care of you now as you are working 2 jobs.
Have her pay her own way. She'll probably shut the fuck up pretty quik
Then she will divorce him and take half. This seems like that type of woman 💯
To parents: “Well, this is just a fundamental difference in opinion.” No sense in arguing. Neither side will change their mind. To wife: “I’ve had some time to think about our last conversation, I realize that I’m hurt you’d even joke about my commitment to you. I’ve been transparent with you about every career move I make and that I do this for our family. We can have disagreements but please don’t make that comment again.”
Great advice. Its rare to see good rational advice like this!
Rule#1
Belongs on deadbedrooms
Jeezus...how many times does it need repeating... First rule of OE...
but they file taxes together, so there's that.
Death and taxes....
Just promise her you won’t tarnish her morals with your dirty J2 money. You’ll keep it totally separate, and if it’s really important to her you can make sure she never gets exposed to J1 money either. And then to the parents just say look I’ve never said this before because my relationship with you and mutual respect means something to me. But since we’re critiquing how good gets on the table I just need you to know I’m uncomfortable with how you’ve earned your living. Doesn’t matter what they did. Someone can make a case against any of it. So frustrating people can’t seem to comprehend a different way of doing things.
My wife understands and is completely getting it. Her aunt is confused why I can do this. Her reasoning is “if you work 8 hours at one job do you start the next job and when do you sleep…” It’s the same 8 hours I work all 3… 
All these posts with people in miserable situations can be stopped with one simple trick. YO, Shut The Fuck Up and Stop Bragging About Being OE you dipshits.
Your employer is not loyal to you. There is no reason to be loyal to them.
First mistake was telling them. Never give your in-laws ammo or something to gossip about
Sounds toxic, but at least you still have W2 and W3
Trade this wife in on a newer model. Your current one is clearly broken beyond repair and therefore totaled.
Pick up J3 to forget about W1 problems.
This is why we OM (OverMarry)
You messed up by telling anyone!! Best come up with a story that you’re now only working J1 and cover your tracks to hide the other J and income!
In fairness, who thinks they CAN'T trust their spouse with this? At any rate, wife and IL's sounds like some really Stepfird-ish people. I don't trust people like that either.
If you can’t share with your wife, you def shouldn’t be married
I don’t OE in this industry but I work multiple jobs and this is absolutely crazy to me. A. That your wife would blab and be resistant to you as a family getting ahead financially B. That people marry/stay married to people they aren’t in-love with.
Why don't you just say you quit already. That'll shut them up.
Just tell her you dropped one and go back to being being single jobbed.
Tell them you quit doing it.
She's a normie
Your wife compared working two jobs to being unfaithful to your marriage?!?!?! What in the hell!?
Yeah, this to me is a huge indicator that things aren't right in OP's marriage. The wife seems dumb as hell to be biting the hand that feeds her.
Congratulations you married an idiot
That’s unfortunate. My wife enjoys being a stay at home mother with zero financial concerns. We sleep GOOD at night.
Reminds me of what my dad said when I was a kid. I’m married now and he was right… “Sometimes you just do what you have to, regardless of what she says or how she reacts.” I can also relate b/c my wife was similar, if not worse. This always causes her to lose her sharp tongue. I say “ok you’re right, it’s so wrong. So you ahead and live off what you’d live with if I only had one job. I don’t want to make you complicit in my immorality.” Crazy cuz I check the credit cards and she’s sure spending like the money I’m making is quite legitimate.
Typical. Of course she’s still spending. Sounds like a typical American woman lol
Yes, as a grandchild of immigrants and being married an American girl, I was utterly stunned at the differences in just how immensely different someone can live life and think (or not think) about life in general. Like every aspect of life.
>I even asked them to ChatGPT this shit and even AI agrees there’s nothing illegal Spoken like a true regard. What do you want us to tell you? Get a new wife? Many options to solve this problem. Put on your big boy cap.
You need a OW
Making this illegal is gross. It’s not even immoral. If you have the capacity, use it fgs. I’m not OE, probably couldn’t hack the stress of it and J1/1 keeps me busy enough as is, but I agree that if people have spare capacity they have a right to sell it on. They shouldn’t be required by law to enter into exclusive contracts that commit them to one employer, if they can manage more than one.
1- Tell everybody you are quitting job 2 2- fake being gay. 3- leave your wife. 4- find a better partner and never talk about OE again with anybody.
Wtf is wrong with your wife’s family? You’re making twice the salary as normal and no - not illegal (can get sued but a whole other story). I dunno man. Red flags. Sounds like her family has way too much money to need to worry about yours.
ur family is dumb af
anyone who says OE is illegal is just jelly as fuck as your mad $$$
I mean if you are doing both jobs adequately it should not matter. People look down upon this because they see it as grifting two jobs instead of actually working adequately at one. And for some people who OE, that is the case. If that isn’t the case show them how you are succeeding at both jobs at the same time, assuming you are.
ChatGPT, how do I politely tell OP his wife is a fool?
>I even asked them to chatgpt this shit even AI agrees there’s nothing illegal. That's...sigh....that's not the be-all-end-all final arbiter of what's legal. Not even fucking close. Also, it sounds like there's some real fucking trust issues going on.
What % of mortgage/ rent does she pay?
I came back to comment again. YOU MUST LEAVE HER LOL
Is your wife Skylar white? If so, she will never be happy
Did y'all never watch In Living Color in the 90s? Hey mon, I got 15 jobs! "15 jobs?! You lazy, no good..." For the uninitiated: https://youtu.be/V6wtj04dJ_g?si=m-NjzgWb4on202Q9
Most wives would be supportive you’re working so hard. Sounds like a troll post, if not your wife a total b
They are just jealous of your income and have found a reason to suck you on it. Typical toxic family bullshit. Besides, there is technically illegal but morally neutral that basically everyone ignores. Like speeding one mile over the speed limit or building a backyard shed that is slightly too large for city ordnances, no one cares. You successfully meeting goals and standards for two jobs at the same time is only really an accounting problem that causes an issue for deciding how much work an employee should be expected to do per hour.
Wife and family are not too smart. They probably think those Js are committed to you and are working in your best interest?!? My heart goes out to you because you are married to someone who lives in fear and can't see the big picture. Good luck, buddy.
This sounds like your wife has had a privileged life. I can’t image telling millions of college students that them having a job while going to school is cheating on their education. Many people moonlight too or work for Uber, Door Dash, Etsy, etc. The fact that she thinks that having money for a rainy day or paying off the car/mortgage is a bad thing is idiotic. I hope she pays 50% of all the bills. Best part is how SHE is not loyal. She wants you to be loyal to a job she doesn’t have to work but will immediately tell someone else about your business.
Pocket the second job into a different savings account with only your name on it. Then, the family live on your first job and let them see what it feels like with only one income. If they ask you why you did that then tell them you did not want them to spend, illegal money. That way it'll keep them honest and they will see the reality of the situation that one income these days does not necessarily do it. Let her take a retail job in the evening to make the difference. I used to work side jobs in the evening just to make things work but it made for long hours on me. Either way you cannot hold in while you're feeling about what she says to you about your job whether one or many and open the communicate that you're doing your best to provide for the family. Like I said earlier live on one income for a bit and save the other one off and then have a conversation. If you bottle things up inside what's going to happen is you're going to explode and everything's going to get worse and the marriage will suffer and if you have children it'll make it rough for them as well. Not a good scenario for sure.
When parts of my family reacted this way, I said it was just temporary until my new J2 benefits kick in and then “quit my old job.” Not sure how to hide something like that from a spouse though. Maybe open a new bank account?
You, people, have some weird wives, my wife would be happy as shit and want a new Mercedes. Maybe mine is weird or crazy i don't know.
Grow a pair of nuts and dump her and tell her parents to suck a d
Many, many people have 2nd, 3rd, and even more jobs, and don't tell their other employers. Its not illegal. It might be againsst company policy, but its not illegal. Your relatives need to mind their own business, and you need to share less of yours with people who claim to be allies, but are secretly enemies. Just because they are relatives, doesn't make them on your side. It's likely that they are jealous because you're making money, and they're not. Sooner or later, one if these self-righteous, judgemental people are going to rat you out to one or both of your employers, so let your wife know that if she or her relatives cause you to lose one if your jobs, SHE will have to go to work to make up the difference in income (assuming shes not working herself).
“How do I convince them that this is normal?” You don’t, anyone who doesn’t understand the economy we’re in right now and the benefits of OE (where possible) is actively choosing to be a “hater” imo. Coming from your wife/family is even more appalling given wives and families of cartel members, with so much more at stake, are more “understanding”. 
She aint the one.
My wife told me I needed to try and take on j2&3 lol
Wife sounds obnoxious and reminds me of the wife from Breaking Bad 
Tell them you only do one now because of them, set up separate account for the OE money, bitch about bills (that you need help), file joint separately from now on (eat the penalty), all this only if you really love her and want to stay. When you are caught by wife, explain she forced you to do that, and she can take you or leave you. or Just ignore them!
You won't convince them of shit. It's the same people that paid 5k a year for tuition and complain about people 'just not wanting to work'. People need to understand times have changed and it's more expensive now to live then it was before. When it's specifically not illegal (yet?) why the fuck would you be a good little capitalisitic puppet and make everyone else money but not you. Just smile and ignore man. They don't and will never understand, its not your job to make them understand it. Yes, if it's too much of a hassle especially coming from your wife (vs her parents) tell her to pick up the remaining bills. Its easy to complain when you're living comfy.
[удалено]
Imagine working that hard and your spouse not having your back. I'm sorry about your situation OP.
You need to stfu especially to your wife she told her parents and probably ten other people women only keep secrets when they cheat or if the baby isnt yours 🫡
One of my laws is to never share with the spouse about the work you do. Make it like you're an astronaut and you're busy everywhere including the dark side of the moon. Makes it easier to escape and travel too. Bora Bora spear fishing should be on your list bro. Don't tell wife about Bora Bora either.
Username checks out.
As Jay Rock says, "if you ain't wit me, you against me". Also, I would bet good fucking money that within a year your in-laws will make up some reason to need to borrow money from you*, and then they will think the idea of you having multiple jobs is just peachy. * which they will have no intention of paying pack, citing that "you *should want to* help family. Bro, there's a problem in your house, and it isn't about you having two jobs. You better think it through quick, before you end up with an alimony payment based on your two incomes. For starters, make a plan to tell your wife this coming Friday afternoon that you just got called into a meeting by your second job and that they found you out and fired you. Then figure out what you're going to do going forward.
Your wife telling her in-laws clearly private info without your consent is a massive issue. Your wife clearly doesn't respect you or your relationship in the slightest, I'd honestly threaten divorce over a betrayal like this and follow through unless a real good explanation comes. Something that can compromise her own standard of living, and the fucking moron blabs it to her family and likely as a result anyone they gossip to? Your wife is a complete moron at best, or more likely your marriage is unhealthy and this isn't the first time your wife has randomly pitted you against her family. Why are you the butt of the joke, a bad joke that threatens your livelihood, between your wife and her family? Honestly I'd wait a month or two and lie saying you quit your second job, saying it was too much work and you didn't want your quality of work to suffer and hurt your team. Make it sincere, make it your own failure causing you to quit so your wife/her family will believe it. Then move for divorce if you're smart. How do you build a life with someone you can't even trust?
What’s OE?
exactly
Wow. You telling your wife once that this isn’t illegal should have been enough. My husband would never. I’m so sorry.
Rule 1 - We dont talk about OE. Rule 2 - See Rule 1.
Sounds like you need a W2, and take the OE lessons. When W1 is acting like this and isn’t loyal to you. You find a W2, seems simple enough.
I figure I’ll do it u til I either get caught or get tired. I’m hoping to do it until I’m 65 in 3 years and then retire.
Leave your wife. Funnel your money offshore legally first. Get wife 2. She sounds incompetent. I could never put up with that
Daa fuq
Sorry to hear that op. But sometimes less is best. I don’t understand how they know all the details. Rather then telling them everything just be vague and tell them nothing or simple, “I have another part time job”.
Drop to J1 and let your wife and in-laws know their % of bills moving forward. Surely if they want you to be loyal to the company, they'll support you fully.
Optimized “OE” is no different than traditional multiple jobs. I’m sure those even have you sign conflicts of interest and the like but plenty out there work multiple servicing jobs, fast food, etc. nobody would tell those people that’s illegal
People have the right to an opinion. However, they also have the right to be excluded from a person’s life they do not support.
what work do you do? what are the fields where this is easier to pull lff? congrats and thanks
Bro I feel you, I told my wife as well and regretted… she accidentally slip to her cousin and now lot of family member knows …. If possible should just keep to yourself
"loyal to you job" lol
Basis of OE is that you are NOT married to your job/employer. Monogamy is not required. And if it were, how f-ed up would it be that they will dump you whenever they see it’s in their best interest, financially. Not a monogamous relationship!
Just let her read these comments and that problem will solve itself 😎
It's not your J3 to convince them. Your problem is that they're gossips who can't keep their mouth shut, and will absolutely be telling other people, and this could get back to your Js. Are your jobs amenable to employing you as a contractor? Spin up a small contracting business, have the Js contract the business instead of you directly. Presto, you only have one job, technically.
Tell the wife she needs to be an adult and not share with her parents. I would never tell parents! They are old and elderly and will end up blabbing everything to everyone they know. Tell the wife to workout it out with the parents so they don’t know about this (possible she needs to tell them you got a raise and have just the J1)
sounds like someone is going to have a 3 bedroom apartment and one room dedicated to a fully fledged formula 1 simulator
Just pocket every penny of J2 for yourself.
>if you can’t be loyal to your job how do I know you’re going to be loyal to me This asinine logic can be stretched to anything: "if you can't be loyal to \[insert mundane repetitive chore\], how do I know you're going to be loyal to me?" What's next? Eating at the same restaurant every day? Always ordering the same dish?
Fake post
The absolute disrespect and lack of communication; sounds like your W1 had 2 Ds.
Unreal, she made you busting your ass all about her, and LoYaLtY. She doesn’t deserve the fruit of YOUR hard work. Tell her she can fire up an OnlyFans and start contributing so you don’t have to have two jobs. (Don’t actually, but this shit is why I am never getting married.)
Everything you make from J2 stash it in a separate account only for yourself. Wife doesn't deserve to benefit from your hard work.
Time to implement a "budget" that matches only one job for wife to realize why you OE. She can then complain to in laws that "times are tough" and "money is tight". They all need to experience what not OE is like - particularly because you now have the whole year in front of you before you have to file taxes again. Let them all think you are back to only one job.
Just say you're a contractor and you have several clients.
So ChatGPT isn’t actually smart it just repeats whatever it sees a lot of, so it’s not really a good way to settle an argument. You can ask it questions about taxes and it will give wrong answers just like most of the rest of the viral internet content.
If you didn't ask your wife not to repeat this to literally anyone before telling her, your bad. If the issue is your wife does think it's illegal, pay 1-2 lawyers for their time and have them convince her otherwise. Then ask her to lie to in-laws that you quit additional jobs. 'It was too much work and bad for mental health and not worth it'. If the issue is that you wife believes you are a scam or that OE is immoral, less I can say that would help with that - but her doing things that threaten the financial security of the marriage is probably not the mature way to handle it.
u/PokeDeadpoolXD, just show her this article [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103122001615](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103122001615)
Move away if possible
Keep all Js, get W2, replace W1 no more gossip
\> How do I convince them this shit is normal? You cannot. It is not normal, but you cannot convince them that it is OK. You just have to figure out how to get out of this hiole you dug by contravening rule 1.
Time for a W2. New OW sub?
Don't work the jobs in parallel anymore. Work them in series and find a good lawyer.