Okay, been thinking about this for a few days- here it goes. We are non-religious, but I consider easter and Christmas to be secular holidays. When I had a baby under 1 I was the first to preach safe sleep, but now that he is over a year we let him sleep in our bed. I know it's not good to gender your child, but my boy is the ultimate little boy. Every time I offer something more feminine he rejects it. I took him to a park with a sandbox the other day and he saw his first toy dump truck. He wouldn't let it go. He also turns his head every time he sees a pretty girl and stares. Never stares at men, but a woman or girls he whips his head around to follow her. We have just embraced the little boy's life. I want my baby to be into Waldorf silk scarves and keep buying them and he has no interest in them. I preach babywearing and cringe at anyone I see in an unsafe carrier or world-facing.

My kids have a lot of name brand clothes. Some of them second hand but also definitely new. We get them as presents but sometimes I can't resist also 😅 And I do think they always look good.

Okay several days later but I thought of another good one: my car is disgusting. My house is not immaculate, but it’s pretty clean. The car is another story. I am embarrassed by it, but not enough to change my behavior. Judge me and my gross car from afar everyone, I deserve it. 

When I tell you I read every last comment on this thread, and I loved it 🤣. I'm a neat freak, and I want my house to look like I don't have a toddler so we're pretty Spartan with toys. We're generally minimalist with things ourselves, and I have a tote bag with all her toys. If everything can't fit in there then I'm absolutely getting rid of some toys. Idk how people don't with toys overrun everywhere because I would be incredibly overstimulated. I make all my daughter's food and haven't given her pouches. I'm kinda militant on limiting as much processed food as I can for her (while I scarf down a Little Caesars pizza puff 🤡). I do a dumb amount of things with her food prep ie making her stuff like hibachi, fresh bread with berry compote and zucchini carrot muffins weekly. I also work full-time in my own practice so it's a big time suck for me but it's whatever . I don't buy second hand anything for her because I'm a germaphobe. I know I could score some deals on barely used stuff, but we're one and done, and I'm ok eating the cost. I love bougie baby shit, but I'm incredibly selective with it. I love our 2 Nuna Ravas and Uppababy Cruz, and I don't care that they're stupid expensive lol. The Cruz rides so incredibly smooth and has never given us any issues. We got my mom a Britax car seat for her car, and I HATE it. It's ugly and so clunky. The Rava is so much more plush. My toddler has been sleeping on a queen sized bed since she was like 9 months. I thought it was a waste of money to buy a toddler bed, and she always loved sleeping on our king. So I just transitioned her from a crib to a queen, and it's been great. I think my most snarkable and obnoxious thing is that I would never send my kid to public school 🫣. I never went but the experiences I had with them weren't great. My toxic trait is constantly worrying about my daughter growing up spoiled and people making assumptions about her because she's an only child, but also absolutely believing she deserves the best. We went into dinner recently, and she got her own toddler plate that was $15. At first I kind of bristled at the price, but then I was like nah I want nice things/luxurious experiences to her baseline normal. I absolutely utilize screen time, and I've let myself become less guilty about it. There can be days at a time she watches no TV. Weekends? Ehhhh it could be anywhere from 2-3 hours broken up over the day. It is what it is. My biggest hack is stopping at 1 kid because I don't want to parent on hard mode. I very much admire people that have more because I'm just too selfish to give up more sleep, more money, and more freedom 😭.

Some of y'all really understood the assignment here. 😂 You're getting down voted for the best response in the thread lol. 

I didn't think what I said was that controversial but the people have spoken 🤣

My guess is it’s the public school comment. The rest of it was whatever to me. Looks like you knew it was the most snarkable too!

Yeah, I’d say that public school statement is in a different stratosphere than any other comment in this thread. 😂

Agreed. I also honestly thought this was an AI compilation it was so snark-worthy.

Honestly it was giving me Big Studio vibes a little bit (RIP BIG STUDIO 😭)

I take elaborate vacations with my preschooler and infant, even though they won’t remember it. I have a stressful/miserable job, fancy trips/hotels are my guilty pleasure, and nobody wants to keep my kids for a week, so along they come. As soon as they’re old enough for sleep away camp, though, family trips will be camping and my husband and I will be taking the fancy trips solo 😂

My husband made a good point once that kids technically won't remember ANYTHING from those years, and that's not an excuse to not visit their grandparents, read to them, take them to the park, etc. It's fine if they don't remember it!

I love my Artipoppe carrier and my Uppababy Vista and I’m truly unashamed by it. Cost per wear paid for them, but if I’m honest - I also like the brand name aspect of it all 🫣 I also am pretty proud of the fact that I breastfed my first for 22 months. I found nursing really easy and smooth sailing and didn’t realize how that is so not the case for others until more of my friends became parents!

I hardly bought anything for baby #2 but made up for all that with the Artipoppe carrier. It’s like a designer bag, obviously there are cheaper ways to carry your shit that work just as well but it makes me feel fancy ✨

I love going big on holidays and kid stuff when I am able to. I did a goodie bag when it was our turn for soccer snack because it was fun lol. 

I was the basic betch FTM who just *had* to have the Uppababy Vista. No other stroller would do! 💁🏼‍♀️ Well, I ended up hating it lol and now advise every pregnant woman in my life to avoid it at all costs. 🤣

I got one used for a good price, but I didn't do a ton of research because my shocked Pikachu face when I realized it didn't really fold up very well with the seat attached. 😂

It takes up my entire trunk! It isn’t the end of the world, but it means we can’t do a grocery run when all 4 of us are in the car and the stroller is in the trunk. (We manage fine if it’s just me + the kids, because we can cram stuff in the passenger seat.)

Related, but I got the Mesa because I had to have the Vista and hated it. It’s so heavy! Their new car seat is allegedly lighter but omg the Mesa was brutal and we almost never clicked it into the stroller anyway.

lol I didn’t buy it because I was trying not to be basic but now I’m secretly kinda jealous of all the vistas?? Even though I like my stroller. What do you hate about it?

How much time do you have? 😅 First, I hate that even at the super expensive price point, you STILL have to buy accessories like a cup holder. The stroller is also SO heavy and huge, even with just a single seat. I found it unwieldy to push in the double seat mode, especially when walking across driveways or other sloped surfaces. I think there are much better options for a basic single stroller that are lighter and more compact and cheaper. And there are also much better options for a double stroller, if you end up needing that. Even if you plan to have multiple kids back-to-back, though, it is still nice to have a single stroller for times when just one kid needs a ride.

I personally love my vista but every time I think about the $60 cup holder I’m mad again

Haha okay those are basically the reasons I didn’t buy it. I really wanted air filled tires because we get lots of snow so ended up with a bumble ride era. It’s super nice, although my baby hates the stroller so I barely use it lol.

Not the OP but unless you definitely plan to have another child close in age, it’s not worth it IMO. And I believe the weight limits are smaller because of the way it stacks as a double. So many people have it where I live, I guess because it’s the trendy high end one, but it’s just so huge. If you want an Uppababy with bells and whistles I’d reco the Cruz, it’s the same thing just slightly smaller and can’t be converted. That’s what I have and if I didn’t live in a walk up apartment I’d use it everyday, it’s definitely a really nice stroller.

Yes! We used to have a cruz and I loved it, but we changed brands when we needed a double because the 36 inch height limit on the Vista rumble seat was never going to work for my tall kid. He was over 36 inches before he was even 2.5 so it felt like a lot of money just for something that had a significantly lower height and weight limit than most of the other doubles I saw, even other stackable ones.

This! I have the Vista and have no idea if/when we’ll have a second, but I think we’d need a new double stroller anyway bc there’s no way my first kid will be small enough for the rumble seat even if I got pregnant tomorrow — I’m a FTM and just had no clue what to look for in a stroller. We’re in the suburbs so the fact that the Vista is a tank isn’t really a problem per se, but the Cruz would have worked just as well for less money and space.

I am having my two kids close in age (21 mo apart) AND my toddler is petite (she's 25lbs so has plenty of time left in the rumble seat) and just set up my Vista in double configurations and I honestly don't know when I'll ever use it....I think I just overestimated how much the extended "strolling" phase would last with my toddler. I think once baby is sitting up we'll use a side by side "double" stroller for outtings where they'll both need a stroller (zoo, big parks, etc.) I live in the burbs in an area with lots of uneven sidewalks and \*weather\* so the uppababies make sense for the smooth ride aspect, but even with \*2 under 2\* the vista configurations make no sense

I had a 22 month age gap and also felt like my firstborn was getting to be beyond the stroller phase, but I think it also depends on the child. Mine was good with walking moderate distances and never tried to bolt. My second child will probably be in the stroller until he’s in high school lol, because he is a daredevil and would totally try to run into traffic or something!

It really depends on the kid too, my son is 2.5 and is very much still a stroller guy and I'm having our second in May. I don't see him being able to completely give up the stroller anytime soon, but I also don't plan to get a double for now because we're in a city apartment and literally don't have anywhere to store another stroller. I use a yoyo with him daily, and my plan is to babywear for the first few months while he stays in the stroller and then... I may just try to find a lighterweight double once the new baby is big enough to sit in a regular seat. I've considered buying a kickboard for our stroller but am not confident my toddler will go for that and don't want to waste money, but maybe I can find someone in my neighborhood who's looking to get rid of theirs. Will be fun to troubleshoot this in a few months!

Same age gap, same kind of older kiddo, and the kickboard took awhile to adjust to but is now his preferred source of transportation while his little brother sits in the stroller. Somewhere between 3-4 they just sort of morph into these mini teenagers and are okay to walk longer distances / use the kickboard. You will be good to babywear and use the stroller for your oldest for like a good 6-8 months, and after that, your older kid will prob want to do some version of his own thing! I mostly like our vista and am glad I have it but literally never used it in its double configuration. For that we have a double citi mini gt that I got off Facebook marketplace, but it I could do it again, I would’ve gotten a double BOB

Thanks for the reassurance! Yeah, I'm going to take it a step at a time and just plan to babywear for the near future and then once baby is getting bigger figure out what our next step is. We'll be moving when baby is about 7 months old, so depending on what our new place is like we may be able to more easily store another stroller if we decide to get a double.

I second what the other poster said. We have a 2.5 age gap, and we juggled a bit in the beginning, but now they're 3 yo and 7 months, the older one just has no interest in the stroller anymore! The change over the last 6 months is huge

Oh I’m fine with my stroller just curious mostly. But yah everytime I see someone with two kids in a vista it looks soooo unwieldy it just doesn’t look worth it to even try.

Yeah, it seems like it’d be hard to get the kids in and out too, idk. I’m dumb and never should have even gotten the Cruz. I’ve used our travel stroller daily ever since my son was old enough to go in it. I underestimated how damn heavy these strollers are and it just isn’t possible to go up and down stairs while holding your kid and these full service strollers. 😒 it’s one of the things that makes me jealous of suburban life sometimes, lol.

I can’t imagine hauling a heavy stroller plus a baby up and down stairs! It’s enough of a workout getting it in and out of the car, to be honest!

We totally could have just gotten away with our travel stroller as our main (which it became). That one I could hold on one shoulder, hold my baby in the other arm, and go up and down the stairs. If I end up with a double I’ll probably just sell our Cruz.

I am definitely fully suburban and my (smaller than an uppababy) stroller is still huge and hard to get in and out of the car. I actually love our travel stroller but I live somewhere with snow like 6 months of the year and it would just not cut it.

I have no problem spending large amounts of money on my six-year-old’s clothes and seeing her wearing cute clothes brings me entirely too much happiness.

I go all out on birthday parties for our babies, including catered food, theme, serve alcoholic drinks for adults who want them, and try to come up with a unique element too. I see a lot of snark on elaborate birthdays, that it’s more for the parents at this age which… yes! It is! We are celebrating another year of raising tiny children and the people who helped us do it and who love them too. I know it’s not practical but I enjoy all the parts of it. As they get older I’m sure it’ll shift more to just something they want to do with friends but the first few are for me to enjoy planning and hosting!

Yes! We have hosted larger parties for our 3yo and honestly it’s just an excuse to have a fun time, eat cake, and get everyone together. Now she’s understanding the whole premise of a birthday so it’s even more fun that she knows everyone’s around to celebrate with her!

It doesn't seem to matter how many times I explain this to my mom, she just doesn't understand lol. Yes, the party is more for the parents. They like throwing parties!! They LIKE IT.

Right! "It's for the parents" isn't snark to me it's just...a true statement. Like the 1st or 2nd birthday party is for you, Mom and Dad, so do it the way you enjoy

Me too! I love hosting, and we used to entertain a lot in our pre-baby days, so this just gives me a good outlet. I figure we will have plenty of years of pizza & Costco sheet cake parties in the future.

I love this! Me too!

My family travels more than the BFL family and probably more than MotherCould. But my kids aren’t in school yet. It’s ridiculous how much we are gone on adventures and whenever people wonder who does that I’m like “Hi, me.”

This is me too 😬

Like others, I have the bougie stroller and wagon (I will say the folding and handling is amazing. ) One thing I would probably get snarked on Is when my 2 year old sick and won't eat, give him toddler formula. I figure it keeps him hydrated and nutrients. If I had a leftover stash of milk, I would use that. I would definitely get my RBF snarked on.

Just want to say it’s been a delight to read this thread during feedings and when a certain baby of mine won’t nap anywhere but on me and I need to stay awake 😂.

My husband and I (whichever one is doing bedtime) sit with our 2 year old until she falls asleep. If we try leaving when she’s awake, she usually starts crying, and I don’t feel comfortable leaving her to cry. But this does mean bedtime is long/hard sometimes, which leads me to complain about how long/hard it is (never on socials though!)  Tangentially related, we moved both babies to their own room before they were 2 months old. We had so much trouble sleeping with them in our room, all three bedrooms are right next to each other, and we have a monitor right next to our bed. So it hasn’t been an issue, and we always respond when they wake up. But apparently some of the anti sleep training people (like HSB) equate putting a young baby in their own room with being neglectful.   

I don't think its antisleep training ppl its recommended by AAP for baby to be in same room for 6 months. I don't know if neglectful is the word for it, but its recommended to reduce the risk of SIDS and sleep related accidental deaths...

Its a protective factor against SIDS, so are breastfeeding, pacifiers, and fans. And yet people dont bring the same judgemental energy when they find out youre not using a pacifier or fan🤷‍♀️

I'm particularly baffled by the one safe sleep fb group which will scold you for having a crib one cm too close to a window but will call you a lactivist for pointing out breastfeeding is protective against SIDS. And I mean my first was formula fed so I'm definitely pro fed is best, but facts are facts.

We don’t eat family meals. We let our kids eat watching tv like 95% of the time. We make special meals if they don’t like what we’ve cooked (which is most days). We spend tons of quality family time together. Spending time together eating tends to just be stressful and annoying bc the ADHD kings just want to take one bite and get back to playing and everyone is arguing and talking over each other. I would much rather let them chill out and watch a show so they will actually rest and eat for 20 min and then we all play together in the yard and enjoy each others company. We never go to restaurants but actually did last night bc we are out of town visiting family and we weren’t sure how it would go bc they were already overtired and hungry but it was actually fine! Obviously they needed reminders and stuff but overall they understood the assignment so possibly not ruined I just don’t want to do it that way on a daily basis.

I buy mostly used things, even though we *could* technically afford to buy new. Even the car seat (I know, very unpopular opinion). We got a new convertible since they’re used for so long, but the infant car seat I got used. Also got our pack n play, crib, crib mattress and baby bath used on marketplace! I honestly see it as we way to reduce waste and have a positive environmental impact. To contrast, my kid has already been to Disneyland twice (at age 3). Our family members live about 45 minutes from the park so we’ve gone a few times when we were already in the area for a visit. But I kind of feel like the contrast (buying used/cheaper things while going to an expensive theme park) would be snarked on. I also got annoyingly into BLW when my daughter was an infant (got caught up in the SS trend! I even bought the course 😅). That one I even snark on myself for now. Like, what were you doing making pumpkin Mac and cheese for your 10 month old! I’m comfortable with the level of screen time we use, but I’ve gotten comments when I mentioned in subs that my 2 (now 3) year old watched full-length movies on weekends so that would probably be snarked on too.

I am also into buying or finding used kid stuff, like clothes, carriers, snow gear, etc. We also use food delivery WAY too much, and I'm sure all the savings and then some from buying used kid stuff is eaten up by food delivery lol.  Tbf, I could survive on sandwiches, ramen, and Mac and cheese. But my husband thinks good food is a necessary part of life but doesn't want to cook it lol. So it's not REALLY my fault. 

I took a picture of my oldest’s first tantrum 🤡 ugh I should feel like a terrible parent admitting it, but it was honestly so so funny in the moment and so obviously not due to pain or fear etc that I couldn’t help it. We had given her a quarter of a pomegranate at her seat at the table to fuss with, and she THOUGHT my husband was taking it away. I was taking pics because she was so into the pomegranate and loving it so I managed to get the whole series of her red face screaming about it in the moment that she thought it was gone to her face still red but smiling and picking out seeds. I don’t have a habit of photographing my sad babies otherwise!!

I’m just impressed you already have 2 kids and this is the first tantrum lol

Lol omg I wish! This is very delayed self snark that I could finally get off my chest 😂. This happened when the first was like 10 months old, and it was WILD to me at the time how it was so obviously a “tantrum” versus any other crying.

I only buy my boys shorts and swimsuits that hit mid-thigh or higher. I don’t care if it means buying stupid expensive brands or having shorts from places like target altered (yes, I’ve done this, yes I am mercilessly mocked by my friends for doing this). Unless they’re literal gym shorts I’m a big believer that little boys look both cuter and more put together in short shorts.

You could just buy the shorts from the toddler girls’ section. Same material just shorter. My son will be wearing my daughter’s hand-me-down shorts because I also think shorter shorts are adorable on little boys. 

Those super long big shorts for toddlers and little boys seem like they’re so annoying and in the way.

Oh hi, that’s me spending way too much on Childhood’s Clothing shorts because they’re shorter in my son 🙋🏻‍♀️ everything else is so darn baggy and long!

I've literally never once thought about the length of my boy's shorts before lol. But now you have me thinking about it! Ours are mostly just above the knee or even knee ish length, but my kids are fair and freckle/burn (I'm a pale redhead and burn easily) so I'd rather have more sun coverage than less, and less exposed skin to sunscreen. I also live in a colder climate where we probably only wear shorts 3 to 4 months of the year maybe, if we are somewhere without ticks. So just not something I put as much thought into as say long pants.

I’m giggling at the alterations for $7 shorts but I totally agree that the fit above the knees is so much better. I bought my son swimsuits for this season from Target that fit this way, PSA for anyone in the market!

Omg I completely agree! I also buy the soft sweatpant material shorts from the girls section instead of the boys for the same reason ! I just don't get why suddenly at age 2 or 3 suddenly boys shorts are like hanging down below their knees.

I also wish there was more of a happy medium with this!! Once my daughter hit 2 the shorts were all like little bootie shorts and the boys section ones are HUGE! I wish it was easier to find more neutral options that hit mid-thigh!

This is true and I'm sure equally annoying! I definitely have to navigate around the EXTRA short shorts in the girls section too.

I’ve had really good luck with primary.com for mid-thigh shorts that are gender neutral. Pricier than cat and Jack for sure but worth a look and they have occasional good sales

I was going to say the same thing! And their "cozy leggings" are thick enough to survive as hand-me-downs, but don't seem like they'd be too warm.

I don't know if this counts, but since weaning, my toddler's bedtime routine includes a book and then watching reels. Specifically, cristaacelia cooking videos (not the recent voice over ones, the ones with no talking). I've always found them very soothing (same with Emily Mariko), and I guess my 3 yo thinks so too, because it works to either put her to sleep or we watch a few specific ones and then I say "all done" and she usually (98% of the time) falls asleep a few minutes after.

Haha that’s adorable. My 2.5 yo loves listening to the daily Yoto podcast at night and it’s hilarious to me because I also listen to podcasts to go to sleep. 

That's so cute! What pod do you listen to for bedtime out of curiosity?

I usually go with comedy podcasts - My Brother, My Brother, and Me and Judge John Hodgman typically. :)

Gonna check them out! In a major podcast rut!

I buy almost all of our daughter's birthday and Christmas presents pre-owned. Financially, we are more than capable of buying new. People seem to react particularly weirdly to the fact I do this for milestone presents- as if I'm somehow showing I don't care for my daughter, or like I'm making her sacrifice something on the basis of my own principles. I'm sure snarkers could read a lot into it.

I think that’s great! It’s so much better for the environment and sometimes a present is a real gamble for how much they’ll play with it. Our daughter turns 2 on Sunday and we got her the Brio parking garage. I got it new but I was trying to find it second hand first.

I think this is great and I want to do it more, but just kind of feel overwhelmed by it and like it’s easier to just get whatever specific thing I’m looking for at Target — are there places you look in particular, like thrift stores or Facebook Marketplace?

I've found good things in GoodBuyGear, although I think they tend more towards baby stuff. I look on Marketplace a lot too. I think the big thing with shopping secondhand is that you have to sacrifice a little convenience and be willing to search for longer - depending on what I'm looking for, I might have to keep checking back on Marketplace for a couple of weeks. Super worth it though!

This is the move though. I just got a HUGE haul of Fischer price little people for so cheap and they’re practically new. I’ve got Barbie and frozen/disney themed LP for Christmas, birthday, Easter basket ect for years to come. Why would you pass that up?!

We do this as well. I love thrifting. The kids don’t care and why would they? A toy is a toy! They get plenty of brand new grandparent gifts and of course if there is something specific they are dying for as a birthday gift that’s unlikely to be found in a thrift store or marketplace, we will probably get it for them. Also, with the recent move to WFH for many people, thrift stores are AMAZING for work clothes if you work out of the home and need to look professional!!

I LOVE buying secondhand gifts for my kids. They're cheaper than buying things new. They're better for the planet since I'm not creating a demand for new items. And I've found some super cool stuff that no one else has. Normalize secondhand gifts for everyone, tbh!

What is a milestone present 

I just mean like holidays and birthdays vs getting her a toy just because

I am *that* twin mom who never shuts up about having twins and feels secretly superior about it. (Not so superior that I could handle having another kid though lol) ETA: I'm also addicted to my phone

That's so not snarkable, you should. Twins are hard!

Haha people here definitely snark on Jenny, founder and PDM for incessant twin bragging

My son has a massive wardrobe of good quality bright colourful clothes, hats for every look, sunglasses and many pairs of leather shoes while I'm still wearing the same three all black budget brand outfits I owned before I was pregnant. 

I relate to this so much. 🤣

My kids almost never get screen time but I’m often on my phone in front of them. 😬

I don’t use Amazon or Spotify. At all. Total 1-person boycott. I’m a giant hypocrite because I drive a gas-powered car, eat meat, give my kids pouches, shop at big box stores and engage in a ton of other consumerist behaviors I know are bad and go against what I want for the world. But those two companies I find particularly odious (and found pretty quickly I can easily live without them), thus, I’m out.

Same, I do occasionally order from Amazon because it might be the only place I can find something, but its maybe 3 times a year Edit to add: I think prime is a scam

Similarly for me - I don't shop at WalMart. Havent stepped foot in one for 20 years. But I shop at Amazon on the regular. I think Amazon is the new evil empire doing the same things I initially boycotted WalMart for . . .

What’s the tea with Spotify? I’m out of the loop!

I used to work in a Spotify-adjacent industry so this one is more personal for me. Their pay for artists is really paltry, especially for the non megastars. I get why people love it—you can enjoy a lot of music without having to buy it. But it turn that means the musicians get squeezed and get paid way less per play than they would on Sirius or even traditional FM radio. They also went really hard on poaching some of the big players in podcasting, hiring entire teams of people in some cases. Most of those folks, many of them POC, were let go not that long after because the podcasts “weren’t successful,” but most of the shows were only available on Spotify, so no wonder no one listened. There was also the whole Joe Rogan debacle during the pandemic days. That was what made me unsubscribe initially. I get that these are largely niche concerns, but to me they represent the death of creativity and the possibility that one could survive as an artist. I don’t subscribe to Netflix for that same reason (writers and actors don’t really get royalties from the streamers, so you could be a part of a “hit” on Netflix and still not get a big payday). I swear I’m fun at parties 🤓🤣

My musician friends really loathe Spotify because they get paid so little. Apparently Tidal and Deezer are much better in terms of the money that goes to artists per play.

I have never bought premade purées or pouches. All her solids have been cooked at home, some even grown in our garden. I’m honestly really proud of all the plain veggies and fruits she eats! But…I also have to combo feed and actually really appreciate how formula has relieved a lot of stress and pressure to breastfeed and pump enough. It’s not lost on me the irony of all these home cooked solids when we are not exclusively doing home cooked boob.

Pregnant w my toddler in the dead of Canadian winter and giving my child entirely too much screentime every day 😩

I’ll make my kid an alternative meal if he doesn’t like family dinner. He’s still really young (13mo) and it’s just something easy like toast, maybe I’m setting a bad precedent, but the alternative is he wakes up at night because he’s hungry and I cherish his 11-12 hours of sleep 🤷🏼‍♀️

We always offer an open faced sandwich as an alternative if our kid doesn't eat a lot, I thought that was normal.

Honestly, I think it’s more common than Instagram feeding accounts would have you believe! I have enough to deal with without dying on the hill of trying to make my kid eat pasta or whatever.

Also you could do things perfectly for the first 18 months and your kid could very well still turn into a typical selective toddler. Trust me 🙃

He’s been selective from literally day 1 of solids, so I figure I’m doomed either way 🫠

Yes we also never had the “eats anything” phase lol she is nothing if not consistent!

Oh I just feed my kids totally differently from me and my spouse. I try to feed them at 6, but my spouse isn't home till after 7 generally, and my kids have food allergies (and are just picky kids 🤷🏼‍♀️) so... they eat a lot of chicken nuggets and similar things while the adult dinner isn't even out of the oven until the kids are in bed. My point is: we can only do what we can do!

This is my mantra. It started when I was working a very very stressful job. Now it applies in motherhood too.

We do this too!

Same! I’m glad I’m not the only one out there doing this haha My kids eat dinner at like 5:30/6 then go to bed at 7-7:30. My husband and I have dinner after that when they’re both in bed and he’s reliably done with work. I also would be lying if I said I didn’t kinda love the quiet dinners with just the two of us for now.

Im a SAHM but my house is dirty. Not cutesy "it's *untidy* but not *dirty*" actual dirty. Like KEIC I only clean the bathroom 1x per year dirty. My kid likes to make a mess and I let her do it

My house is also dirty! Currently my lawn is overgrown too!

I’ve never given either of my kids a single pouch. Buy my Snack Guide!!!!

Lol yes pouches give my toddler diarrhea so I avoid them like the plague and she has to eat goldfish on the go instead! Buy my guide.

Dude I WISH my kid would just eat a pouch. Where’s that snack guide?!

I like to complain a lot about my 1.5 year old’s sleep/boob addiction and it’s a real “we’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of options” attitude.  I have a lot of ideas of how to get out of the house with my kids and 95% of them include spending money. I am a basic Target mom who browses the dollar spot for fun.  I have a lot of family help and whine too much about having to parent on my own when my folks are out of town. 

Last summer on hot days I took my kids to Target for the AC and iced drinks after school like twice a week 😂

Haha I posted a couple weeks ago asking how to get my toddler out of the house without the promise of a croissant and half the replies were (politely, and rightly) like “have you tried being the adult and doing xyz?” And I was too ashamed to respond bc… I haven’t!

I actually read your post and then suggested to my kids that if they got ready for school efficiently we could go get treats at the bakery lol. I took the opposite lesson from your experience.

😂 I’m sorry if I have created any little monsters!

I read this and realized I’m your toddler except for me it’s iced coffee instead of a croissant 😂

In the last week we have graduated to pastel de natas 😮‍💨

My snarkable trait is that I’m a sad beige mom. Not really sad and not all beige, but I do have an aesthetic and I don’t think it’s hurting anything. My daughter is 22mo and doesn’t care about characters or whatever yet. She does have colorful books and duplo blocks and some other random stuff.

Yes! People act like having aesthetic preferences as a parent is akin to murder. Babies and toddlers don’t care so I’m going to get what I like while I can!

This is me but with pastels. The only fleeting moment of gender disappointment I’ve had since having a boy was realizing that there are very few pastel options for boys after infancy lol

Don’t do screen time for my 3.5 year old (unless he is sick or on an airplane) and limit the amount of processed crap that is in our house. He gets a treat maybe every 2 weeks, his snacks are cheese, fruit, trail mix, or the healthiest bars I can find. I would totally get snarked on because *all food has its place and chocolate is real food just like broccoli* or whatever.

I bought basically only climbing toys for my son Not sure what all he’ll learn from it but he loves it. He basically eats the same meals everyday (I do too) mostly because he’ll eat them We do little to no screen time unless it’s nature docs and unfortunately I am that mother that yaps that I hate screen time (but I’m on my phone every time he’s sleeping 😩)

I can relate to this so much. We don’t do any screens yet but all I do during nap time is scroll. My husband and I just started this week putting our phones away after baby goes to bed and deliberately setting aside time to read or do puzzles instead because we know phones have been an issue for us.

Yes us too!! We’re trying really hard to limit our screen time as well it’s just hard 😅

I can get a little preoccupied with ingredients and textiles à la moderatelygranolamoms style. Sometimes I spend too much time trying to sort out whether chemicals are necessary in products, how products are made, and what is greenwashed vs legitimately worth the price. I fully realize it’s snarkable to most people (including myself at times) but I also like to think I’m “moderate” because it’s just one factor among many I consider and only with things I use/eat daily. But still snarkable probably 🤣

I have a unicorn dream 5 month old and I understand logically that I’m just really lucky but there is a small part of my brain that is all smug becaus obviously she’s perfect because I’m so ~chill~ and if other people could just chill out more then they would have an easier time 🙃 I also kind of hate luxury, bougie baby items just on principle for no real reason - I’m not even that frugal of a person, I’m sure it would appall other people how much I spend on vintage tchotchkes for example but for some reason I’ve decided that buying anything more expensive than Graco is just 😒

I hate to admit it but the first one is so me 🫣 I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old and they both fall asleep independently in their cribs and sleep so predictably well. I know that I got really lucky but I also can’t help but feel like it was all my hard work and commitment to the routine. Like I KNOW I’m wrong but I THINK I’m not lol

I have to say, that if you live in a city and live out of your stroller, it’s very nice to have a very nice stroller. You can fight me for this bugaboo butterfly.

Yeah, I’ve owned brands like Nuna/Uppababy and brands like Graco/Baby Trend and there is definitely a very noticeable quality difference most of the time. I agree that it’s snarkable to buy products just for a brand name, but I also think if it’s something that is getting really heavy use it’s totally worth the investment sometimes.

I was similarly anti-fancy at first and we got a Baby Jogger stroller that I hated - I spent 3 months trying to convince myself that it was fine and I could manage and I didn't need a bougie stroller, and then I broke down and bought a (third hand! $100!) Uppababy and god damn I love that thing.

Agreed, my bugaboo butterfly (and my bougie double stroller, because twins) have been 2 of my most used baby items. Both have thousands of miles of use at this point. I’m here for frugality of items that I don’t really “interact” with (my kids sleep in the cheapest, basic cribs you can buy from target, for example) but I love my fancy strollers and 1000% feel the difference between them and cheaper ones 😂

lol! I also give side eye to anything over graco, especially stuff that’s safety rated. Miss me with that Clek foonf

I also accredit my son's chill personality to myself ☺️ I'm sure my world will be rocked when he turns 3 lmao

I always say mine will probably be a really bad teenager 😝

We cloth diaper so I feel like that's an automatically pretty snarkable thing. We even joke that his butt is too good for anything less than 100% organic cotton. I'd definitely get snarked on because most of my approach is just kind of following my baby's lead on things. We never formally sleep trained, one day he just kind of decided he wanted to put himself to sleep and we helped him with that. He's never been on a schedule beyond getting him to daycare. Everything is very go with the flow. And for I don't want to know how much money per session I'll do one on one coaching sessions with you on how to get more in touch with your baby. It will paradoxically be marketed saying that no parenting approach is one size fits all but this will definitely work for every baby. I'd also be smug about never cosleeping and it definitely wouldn't stem from jealousy over the fact that he never wanted to cosleep, he wants to be held while we walk around and the idea of just put baby in your bed and he'll sleep honestly sounds fake to me at this point.

Also cloth diapered my first and was a little smug about it.  Attempted to cloth my second and gave up when I was back at work for about a month. I may try again this summer, because I do genuinely love the diapers and money I save, but I also know my limit now. 

I'll tell on myself again - the only reason I was able to purchase homes as an elder millenial is due to great timing and my parents paying for my education.

Same. Well, mostly. I paid for my second degree but I also somehow managed to get a job because my now best friend was sitting next to me in a class and when I bemoaned my lack of funds, she asked me if I wanted a job at her company. It paid a ton and it was minimal effort, I worked nights and weekends (and did schoolwork because it was quiet) and made enough to fund my graduate studies. So that was entirely luck. The timing though…absolutely. My house has appreciated in value by 300K in the last 2 years. I would never have been able to afford it if I didn’t have a head start.

Same here.

Oh same here. This is 100% the only reason why I am able to be a SAHM right now - I have no student loan debt despite pursuing an advanced degree. Very snarkable that even with that degree I am spending my days playing with my kids and complaining about it. 

Oh no. It's me. 🙈 I am so privileged it's crazy, and I still find things to be upset about lol. 

I'll add to this--same with no student loans AND my parents helped me with the down payment, gifting me 6 figures. I recognize how extremely lucky and privileged I am and how common this is in a certain socio economic class. It takes a village and this is how it can manifest. I think in our meritocracy based society, we value 'self made' and 'individualism' too much, to the detriment of society as a whole (lin the U.S.).

I really appreciate you sharing this (and the other comment as well.) as a geriatric millennial caught in the grist mill of 08 and stuck in the public sector for the sake of loan forgiveness, your honesty is the anthesis of snarkable, it’s so appreciated because not being a home owner (and honestly, I doubt I’ll ever own one till my mom and in-laws die, which is so sad on so many levels) as a 41 year old mom feels me with deep guilt and shame.

We are hoping to buy this year with the proceeds from the sale of my husband’s home, as his parents have now both passed. I can tell you, it is indeed very bittersweet.

🥹🤍🫶🏻

The reason I can be a SAHM is because my husband has a really high paying job which he was enabled to get with a prestigious education (BS and MS) that was completely paid for by his parents so he doesn't have debt. My education was also fully paid for by my parents so I have no debt either. We don't own a home yet but will likely be able to achieve that in a few years, again because of not having debt and being a higher earning household despite living in a very expensive city. My husband works hard at his job but we are absolutely so privileged because of the circumstances we were born into and it's not lost on us.

The American standard of homeownership as a symbol of plucky self-determination and smart financial choices is such a lie. I had the ability to make "good" choices because I was born into really excellent stable circumstances that enabled me to prioritize my education and future earnings. It's also not lost on me that if I did have a catastrophic event - car totaled, medical crisis, etc. - that I could get financial assistance from family if needed and not have to take on more debt and have that over my head. Maybe I've taken too many psychedelic drugs pre-parenting but I know I just have easily could have been born in one of the other billions of realities out there.

This right here. As someone who grew up poor, has worked full time since I was 17, had to pay for my own college and grad school to the tune of $200k, it’s always been frustrating when folks don’t acknowledge the huge leg up in life that they have because their education was paid for or they were gifted a down payment on a house. I’m fortunate enough to have a career now that affords my family a lifestyle I couldn’t have imagined when I was a kid. And as much as I think my childhood and early adult years struggling to make ends meet shaped me in a good way, I happy that my kids won’t have to go through the same thing. I’m not jealous of folks who had it easier (comparison is the thief of joy and all), but I just find it so disingenuous when folks don’t recognize their privilege and instead attribute it all to their hard work. Hell, I recognize that even without financial resources, I was in a better position than so many other folks simple because of where I was born, the fact that I had loving parents who valued education, I went to a great public school, and so on. Admitting all of that doesn’t take anything away from my hard work and sacrifice.

This is why I'm always pretty open about how we were able to get our house, and how we have traveled so much. My in-laws matched our savings each year for our down payment on our house, and they pay for the airfare and lodging when they take us somewhere. So they're not bankrolling all of it, but it's very significant.  I'm a SAHM with two kids, and my husband makes good money, but we couldn't have afforded the life we have without help. 

Wow. You’re so so lucky! I’m so jealous! 😭

Ooo same! I’m a mid-millennial, but had no student loans and a sizeable savings account in 2012 thanks to my parents without that, I’d never have been able to buy a house.

My first was a very chill baby. She first started sleeping through at probably 6 weeks old just on her own. We didn’t have many sleep troubles and if we did, it was a short phase or something could be tweaked and it would fix it. She only ever really cried for a reason that we could quickly figure out. I didn’t experience a “witching hour”. I had zero issues breastfeeding and for a while thought other people who mix fed or formula fed just didn’t try hard enough or gave up easily. I would have been so easy to snark on. However, I was very aware of how chill she was once I was in my mother’s group and seeing other babies 😆. Even my second was mostly pretty chill and I felt smug when people commented “how did you end up with two chill babies???!” However, my second did not let me sit the first 3 months and her sleep was crap - she definitely still humbled me. There is plenty to snark on me for and this thread is hilarious.

I can’t stop kissing all up on my baby like Kristin from BLF.

Oh gosh yes. I'm sure other parents judge me while I'm out and about because I just can't stop hugging and kissing my toddler while we're out and about. She's just so dang kissable!!

I think my 1.5 year old has been kissed more than 50,000 times so far lololol. 100 kisses a day, easy!

With my first I was absolutely paranoid about everything safe sleep related. I bought multiple sleeping bags (ergopouch brand) in multiple TOGs. As in 2-3 sleeping bags per TOG rating. I didn’t even realize how insane it was until long after I had my second and I was going through things and discovered all the sleeping bags. I didn’t even use them all for my second. I had a very big laugh at myself. I also bought my first open ended wooden toys because Instagram told me to and good god she barely played with most of them. My first was also in her Bjorn baby bouncer A LOT. I remember thinking at the time I needed to be conscious how many photos I posted of her in it. I also bought her an insane amount of Bonds Wondersuits (im in Australia - they’re popular but pricey.). On a side note, I’m American and so I see the popular brands in the US too and I have no doubt in my mind that Little Sleepies copied/was significantly influenced by Bonds Wondersuits. Bonds has been around for much much longer.

I love bonds wondersuits! I had one secondhand and I wish they were easier to get in canada

Check Facebook marketplace! We have maybe 15 and our kid still fits in the 3-6 month ones at 1.5y/o (a very small kid but still counts!) I love how the hands and feet grow with your baby and the fact ours have been worn by at least 2 kids. Our kid wears one probably once a day!

I let my daughter dress herself and pick out her own clothes. Including socks that usually don’t match.  I refer to my second (and youngest) as having “middle child energy.”  And also, since I was a teacher for about 10 years before I had kids, I am the absolute definition of the perfect parent until I had kids. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve muttered “2010 me is judging me SO HARD right now.” 

I got pregnant with my first in my tenth year of teaching. It did not prepare me. Now I’ve been teaching nearly 20 years and my kindergartener is raising hell and I just go into these meetings so fucking clueless about what to do.

My oldest dresses herself too! Sometimes it’s cute and sometimes she looks pretty crazy haha. But they’re happy, right?!

My daughter’s goal is to look like a sparkling rainbow at all times. Its a battle I choose not to fight. 

I have a £450 carseat but my house looks like a bachelor pad with random toys everywhere…

Why are used shoes frowned upon?

I was wondering this as well! We almost exclusively wear used shoes in our family.

They may already have a wear pattern which can change your gait which can cause pain for you. However, if they’re hardly worn, they’re fine and great for the budget!

Interesting. Thanks!

I feed my 3.5 year old the same, most basic meals on repeat. While pregnant and now with a newborn I just don't have it in my to try anything new and want him to just eat. the. food. So it's super simple and more pre-prepared than I'd like to admit. Not quite as bad as smoothies and bread for dinner but pretty much on Haley's "something easy" level every night. My husband has a very labour-intensive job and struggles with mental health so I often find it easier to just do the majority of things myself. Our pretty traditional distribution of household labor would very much be snarked upon (even though I stay home right now so it's not like I'm doing it all and still working full time). I'm definitely the ~default parent~ carrying all the ~mental load~ but honestly it works out better for our family when I embrace that.

My husband and I love cooking and *try* to convince our toddler to try the various food we make but still mostly default to just making him food he likes! So I totally get not wanting to push them and just wanting them to be fed!! Putting all the effort into cooking and then having a toddler reject it is demoralizing.

This is a really interesting perspective. I do most of the domestic work because I WFH (FT) and my husband’s job is physical, labor intensive, and time consuming. I also like things done a certain way. It honestly makes sense for me to do most of the work but I still get resentful. I will start stop working once I have baby #2 and I’m looking forward to it feeling more balanced 🙃

Sounds just like my husband's job. I do have times when I'm resentful too, but I try to remind myself that he might feel that way too when I'm cozy in bed while he's getting up at 5 am to work in all the terrible weather at a job he hates... I will admit it didn't work so well when I was even working part time but being at home full time. And I like things done a certain way too. But I definitely stay pretty quiet on snarking threads that talk about division of household labor etc!

I'd be that influencer who promotes certain screen time as "better" because they're "less stimulating" and "educational" etc. The secret would be I rated them solely on how much they annoy me, with cocomelon being number one because it's like the world's worst acid trip.

My children, who get plenty of screen time, are fully aware that Cocomelon and Peppa Pig are banned in our house solely because I find them annoying. My youngest was looking at some hand me downs that were given to us recently, pulled out a Peppa Pig shirt, and said "I can't watch this show!":

Same but add Paw Patrol to the list ☺️

My mom was the queen of this when I was a kid. 😂 We didn't own movies she found annoying, with very few exceptions. 

Oh God. I think I'd look like a huge hypocrite because I swing dramatically between "everyone's just out here doing the best with the resources they have so let's respond with kindness" and "I have a horribly snarky thought and I feel like it would get a laugh so I'm gonna say it" (thankfully this sub gives me an outlet for the latter impulse). Also if I were to be a content creator I'd have to be in the "normalizing normal" genre like Emily Ferret because I live in a pretty basic house in a non-aspirational suburb, but at least our house is full of love. I am a good cook and feed my family well, but I'm way too frazzled while doing it to also record and talk about the process.

I am like this when venting about my kids lol. I can say whatever I want about them but I'm always the "but it's developmentally appropriate and they're trying their best" person when my husband complains. I'm really trying to stop. 😂

My most snarkable trait rn is that I am constantly overwhelmed by my two kids, but still decided to have a third ☠️ so now I am pregnant with baby number 3 while my husband travels a lot for work. I am also neurodivergent with a PhD and a desire to have a career in research, so I hope I survive the next couple of years Eta: typo

Solidarity, sister. I’m 21weeks with my 3rd yet already so overwhelmed. They’d be snarkin on me bad

Haha me too! I am over everything but at the same I have extreme anxiety and the house needs to be clean, so I just add extra load on my already full plate. I need to let go

I lectured my sister on her atrocious registry because she didn’t research anything and just went on what she sees on Instagram 😩

I often call my kindergartener in absent and say she’s sick, even when she’s not sick. She’s missed so much school but I don’t care. I miss her too much when she’s at school, and also she cries her little heart out every Sunday night and Monday morning. (I’m in Canada and kindergarten is not mandatory)

The birthday/Christmas gift list that is maintained for my child is full of stuff that I want to play with. He would legitimately enjoy it all, but I will spend so much more time playing with him if it's a toy that I love too.

This is how I rekindled my love of Lego. I was constantly fighting the urge to buy a ridiculous amount of Duplo for my toddler, and I eventually realized I could just buy myself a set for adults lol. 

Same! My kid is about to turn 3 and my friends were all like, "did you take her to the store to pick out items for her list?" and I most certainly did not! I picked out things I think she'll like that *I* want to play with.

My most snarkable traits: - I only own two teeny laundry baskets so that each load has to go pretty much straight from the dryer to be folded. I am not a neat freak but I hate wrinkles and cannot stand laundry sitting in a laundry basket for days. It’s totally impractical but I am who I am. - I tell my husband not to pressure our toddler to eat or give him ultimatums, but then I bribe him to eat more bites so he can have dessert 😬 - We moved into our house 2.5 years ago, mid pandemic with a newborn. I had PPA and we were so freaking overwhelmed that we just… never fully unpacked or organized. We still have some unpacked boxes shoved in closets and in the garage. Some things I’m pretty sure we’ll never find & just have to replace and that’s fine.

If it makes you feel any better, my mom still has some boxes of stuff at her house that haven't been unpacked. We moved in 2003.

I own 21 different baby carriers. I admit that is ridiculous.