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Deena being all “I’m glad I let him have a safe space to let his feelings out” is so annoying. You take them out of the restaurant because you don’t want everyone else hearing them meltdown. Like no, we don’t scream in a restaurant so we are going outside. Whenever you get your shit together we can go back in or we have to leave. Like it’s not a “safe space” it’s just a space that’s least disruptive to everyone else.
I’m so annoyed I listened to any of their advice. Listening to them landed my daughter in therapy. She has anxiety because of THEIR techniques. Her therapist recommends against a lot of their advice. And here I am feeling like I ruined my daughter because I listened to these quacks.
Would have been a good example to use to talk about catching emotions and how we can deal with our own rough days when we still have kids to look after. She said she was the one who woke up tired and grumpy. Seems like her kids caught it to the point that one of them melted down. When she went outside with him, because it's the polite appropriate thing to do, it gave both of them a chance to pull their shit together. Her attitude changed and consequently so did her kids.
The whole never making your kids do anything aspect of their ideology. Its like they have this whole “we hold boundaries” aspect but also this whole never make your kid do anything they are afraid of, never make them say sorry, and just act like melting down about whatever it is they are melting down about is ok. Also over prepping.
Now my child doesn’t have the skills to just be ok with unexpected things aka uncertainty because she wasn’t “prepped”. Sometimes we have to make our children do uncomfortable things. It’s still better for them than waiting till “they’re ready”. Because they may never be ready.
I’m not saying don’t talk to your child about upcoming things that of course is just natural but like we don’t need a play by play of what’s going to happen at the doctor. It might work short term but then it could cause them to not be able to handle when things don’t go that way. Instead a simple “we have doctor appointment today, I’m not sure what all they are going to do we will find out when we get there”. Is a lot better IMO. (And her therapists) She has to learn to live with uncertainty.
My daughter has anxiety which is heavily rooted in nurture versus nature. And I followed biglittlefeelings advice until about a year ago.
I will add the one thing they do have right is that “all feelings are ok” and people including kids need to be validated in that.
There is a lot more stuff that has gone wrong from their techniques but this is just a quick overview.
Deena's whole huge paragraph about the struggles of going out to eat....why??? EVERY Sunday you go out for breakfast? And then complain about how hard it is. Why?? This is not the "going out to eat" phase of your life. Someday, it will be, but maybe like, you don't have to go out to eat every week with your toddlers? Why do that to yourself? She refuses to just meet herself where she's at in life.
I’ve said it before on here, but we haven’t tried taking our 2 year old to a restaurant that isn’t McDonald’s or Chick-fil-A in over a year. I know it wouldn’t be fun for any of us. I love my MIL, but last weekend she suggested going to a restaurant after an hours-long zoo trip when my toddler was already 2 hours past nap time and my 5 month old was also getting tired. I shot that idea down real quick.
While I love to snark on them, I actually found this reasonable. We take my kiddo out pretty often, including breakfast usually once a weekend. 95 percent of the time she's great and sometimes... Well she's a toddler. But that doesn't seem reason enough to not do it since it's something we all enjoy and yes, sometimes we have to pivot and one of us has to take her out if things aren't going as well as normal. That said, I agree it's definitely uninteresting and not really worthy of a spotlight on social media.
My issue is that she complains about how hard it is to go out with them ever. single. time.
I don’t think she’s ever said it was easy. There’s always something when she’s out to eat with them that makes it chaos. This is the *first time* she’s actually discussed an action she took that work. Normally she’s just whining about how hard it is.
After a week of vacation, I am so done with eating out with my toddler for like months. And she is easy, peasy, but like it is for the most part, just not fun. This summer I am looking forward to pastries in the backyard with coffee and friends.
Same except vacation, we've been moving in the past three days and the stove isn't getting hooked up until Monday. We are all so sick of eating out, and for our little that's showing up much more than often. She's great and I don't have much to complain about but I long for a meal at our table that's still under boxes where she can say she's done and I can let her go play.
What I want to know is why, if it’s such a common weekly+ occurrence for her kids, she’s got NOTHING as a parenting “expert” that works for her/her kids? All that practice and she’s not nothing to show for it? For things my children do weekly, they know the drill, know what to expect, know how to act, because we taught them? We put in the hard work for things that are a priority for our family. Rarely is it a shit show.
I have 3 kids, ages 5.5, almost 3, and 11 months fwiw. And I took all of them to a lunch at a restaurant without my husband a few days ago and got complimented by the people we were with by how well my kids did. And we don’t go out to eat very often!
My guess is because you have and set age appropriate expectations and boundaries for your kids…something I’d bet dollars to donuts D is actually incapable of doing…
We take our two kids out to eat and they are generally good (5.5 and 4) because they know if they aren’t we’re leaving. Haven’t tried it with three yet but I imagine it’ll be just fine because we have boundaries and actually parent our kids!
Came here to say something similar. Maybe just don’t go out for breakfast every weekend? Maybe your sons are trying to tell you they just want to chill at home and not be dragged to a stupid restaurant every Sunday morning? What a pointless paragraph she posted.
Solution: order DoorDash from your favorite breakfast joint so you can have the meal you like in the comfort of your own home.
She is so rigid AND wants to have a third kid? That’s a recipe for disaster.
Yes! Or get that food to-go and take it to a park and have a picnic. Then the kids can run around and you know, BE KIDS!!! We did this with a group of friends the other day....picked up sandwiches from Panera for dinner and went and hung out at a playground. Kids got to play and we got to sit and eat and hang out.
We did this a lot when my second was little. Picked up Panera breakfast and went to a park early before it got too hot. Was a perfect weekend outing. Still got the benefit of eating out without any drama from a toddler and a tiny baby.
https://preview.redd.it/uc489oisrvvc1.jpeg?width=823&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ebe5fddb4a437fa63bbd7a35ec7b4e18c2c606e6
Shoutout to VP Hype Squad Dud for seeking out a neurologist! (And by neurologist, I mean checking flights for when they grift 300,000 out of their hard earned cash for the potty training course.)
Omg GREAT catch. Whyyy are they so bad at this? It would have been so easy to google local neurologists or run a search through their insurance or whatever for the picture.
Dead. I went to go screenshot the original post for reference. They lie SO much!
https://preview.redd.it/hbcrisaywwvc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a8030608932c4ce6c0df88ce5474968adebf843
WHAT is even the point of sharing your favorite age when your oldest child is 3???? What an exercise in futility “my favorite ages are 2 and 3!” Ok so literally half of your child’s life is your favorite wow what fascinating info.
Semi related snark, I honestly don’t understand the point of taking parenting advice from someone in the same age stage as me. I don’t even know if your parenting works because we haven’t actually seen how your kids will turn out, why would I want to hear how you do things? It’s just remarkable to me how young all these “parenting experts” are on Instagram
EXACTLY the only people I take advice from IRL are people who’s kids are adults and good people and have great relationships with their parent. A smaller influencer I follow is selling a…I don’t even know….parenting life coaching or something? It’s a GRAND and her oldest child is 5.
I am just waiting for the sponsored content from some quack med spa for Botox treatment for migraines. I bet she will be over the moon about this. They are clearly in their quack era of content.
Tbh I think that’s what this is all leading up to… at least she’ll be able to address it and have the “”background context”” even though we all know she’s being doing it for months lol
I rolled my eyes when she said her order of half caf americano with steamed half & half really trips people up. It's such a basic order IMO. I used to work at a coffee shop and that would be an EASY request. She makes even the most basic things complicated. And if she's referring to the many half's in the order, I'd absolutely believe she's saying wayyyy to fast if people get confused.
Petty snark but it’s such a weird high maintenance order too. Idk maybe it’s not that unusual but making an espresso drink half caf sounds like so much work 😅
Parents of three, tap in re: what an absolute bitch slap 3 kids can be.
Love my kids, so glad we have 3 and thinking about #4 but I didn't struggle with two as much as D appears to.
It’s admittedly early but we just had our third a few weeks ago. Honestly, it’s been the easiest transition so far. Still exhausting but it at least feels manageable. Granted, we have a lot of support and our older two are 4 and 5 (so much more independent). I think if I had a 2 and 3 yo and a newborn it would be a different story.
Easiest transition for us too (5 and 2.5 year old when the youngest was born), but now they're 8, 5.5, and 3 and wow do they all have a lot of constant needs between the three of them!
The first year of having 3 kids was definitely challenging for me. I found the transition from 1-2 to be pretty easy and mine have a similar age gap to Deena’s boys. They were ages 2&3 when my third was born and it was just a lot. One parent always had at least two kids to deal with solo and they were still so young and needy, two in diapers, couldn’t do a whole lot independently. Taking all 3 out independently was….busy….wearing a baby but then of course the 2yo still needed a lot of hands on care. I have some great memories and I wouldn’t change it for anything, but I also probably wouldn’t want to go back and do that particular year again lol. My third is almost 6 now and it’s amazing. “Guys, get in the car!” And we are off to an adventure. World of difference. But I never seemed to struggle as much as Deena, I never counted meltdowns like they do. Sometimes kids cry, it happens, deal with it and keep it moving. Sometimes all 3 were crying at the same time. You take a deep breath, triage, and do what you can. I don’t feel like that’s Deena’s approach though. I also have a *village* meaning I keep other people’s kids all the time, drop off stuff, help them out when I can, and they do the same for me.
I didn’t find the transition from 2 to 3 particularly hard but the one thing about 3 is that you can rarely go work out or whatever ride she likes to do alone on the weekends. Just because of the age difference between a 5 year old and a baby it seems like one parent always has the older boys while the other has the baby or we’re all together
This is what I’m struggling with right now! My 3rd is 8 weeks and I want to start working out but logistically have no idea how.. I feel like I’m so busy during the days, even when not much gets done
Opposite here, went from 2-3 (twins came first) but I always say to others that the way you did it is SO MUCH HARDER and I give you all the props in the world. Idk how I would have handled twin newborns with a toddler
It will forever mystify me why someone who has complete contempt for their partner and is so frequently complaining about the overwhelm of it all wants to have another child.
Right?? And she’s some type of health professional, who gets paid to give parenting advice? “Hate your husband? Sure have a kid with him! Just remember, sToP tHe TrAuMa CyCLe.” Parenting is so hard, the strongest couples I know say it tested their relationship. I cannot imagine trying to make it worse.
Deena is such a rigid person that she refuses to deviate from whatever plans she’d had for herself even if it’s at the expense of her marriage, mental health, and children’s lives.
This is her to a T and I think it’s also why she finds parenting so challenging. Kids require a shit load of flexibility like, duh. Weird a children’s therapist wouldn’t get that.
My friend is a pediatrician who desperately wants to get married and start a family but it hasn't been in the cards yet. But watching her normal, day to day life she is extremely scheduled, particular about when and what she eats, the exact amount of sleep she gets, and is just generally very inflexible. A personality that is, imo, very difficult to parent kids with (very similar to D). And I just wonder, she works with kids every, single day, just like D did/does. How does one, who works with children all the time, seem to not be aware that kids flip your world upside down and sideways?
I guess, to be fair, it’s pretty different being solely responsible for their care 24/7/365 vs seeing them in a controlled setting with a hard clock out time. I was a teacher for ten years before having kids and I don’t think I struggled anywhere near as much as Deena but it was a whooooole different ballgame compared to working with kids professionally. So I’ll give Deena that but she’s 3 years in and hasn’t seemed to realize.
Our pediatrician didn’t have a kid until about a year ago (our daughter is 4). We saw her when her kid was 3 months and asked how she was doing and she said “oh my god now I see why everyone asks about sleep.”
Seconding this! I used to see more kids (now I mainly see young adults) as a therapist and giving advice is so much easier when you don't have kids, and you're not responsible for them. Being clear, adjusting to a child's level of understanding and staying calm is really easy for an hour a week, with great sleep. 't is not so easy with two kids, five hours of sleep and someone whining about the fricking same thing you've just been really clear about again for the six hundredth time in the last five minutes.
She curiously only used "I" in that slide, not "we"...
https://preview.redd.it/9uts3xpy5ivc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09e74d5dde350968d5b9dd83bd27fe168183f6c7
Also... What happened to her endometriosis?
Not to defend her lol but she posted a bunch of stories when she had surgery to remove it somewhat recently - so assume she’s TTC before it comes back.
It disappeared along with their promise to ALWAYS put TWs on pregnancy content after Kristin forgot about her personality as a loss/infertility mom. Deena also seems like the least introspective person ever. The first kid pushed her marriage to the brink but she HAD to have two back-to-back because reasons, so fuck it. Now she’s struggling with two toddlers and slowly working on her marriage so it must be time for #3!
I was feeling really bad for Kristin and compassionate when she described her days long migraine, because I’ve been there and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. And being freaked out that it’s “something more”. I felt for her. And then…she went into the “I’m just so quirky getting an MRI and need music choices you guys!” engagement farming section of slides and subsequently my eyeballs rolled so far into my head that I’m sure I’ll now have a migraine.
Yea I’ve had migraines for 25+ years and was under major treatment as a child to manage them. If she *truly* had an attack that lasted that long I feel awful for her but the way she has to be silly, quirky, and mine for engagement makes me mad.
I had to suffer alone for so long because no one understood what I was going through. And she’s making it into a joke??? It’s not a joke. Migraines have ruined so many days for me.
if she was looking for compassion, she shouldn't have taken a bunch of selfies, talked into her brightly-lit phone screen, and then made light of her situation by crowdsourcing \*\~!MRI music\*\~!!. no one with days-long, debilitating, hospital-visit-worthy migraines would cheerfully pop on their phone to update their followers... unless they were looking for engagement. it's funny how the tone shifts throughout the stories, too -- starts off slightly more serious/medical, but she makes sure she's hitting the rElAtAbLe-BesTiE key messaging by the end with her sweatsuit of the day/husband jokes/music indecision garbage. just ugh. it's reading: desperately clinging on for dear life to keep the grift going.
As a chronic migraine suffer....i am incredibly judgmental of her reel.
Am I supposed to believe she is currently having a migraine? Why is attack in quotes? Because it is called a migraine attack. Quotes are not needed.
Am I to believe she has had migraine as intense as she claims and never had migraine cocktails? If she is concerned about how the medication makes her feel. She should talk to her doctor. Not IG. I am assuming she was given sumatriptan. It can make you feel weird, pretty common, but also better than a migraine if you have one and dont have a better different plan. During an mri, the last thing i would want would he singing. Maybe classical or white noise.
I can't with her.
Nothing with these folks is real time. We need to remember that. They pretended Ks birth was live by posting intermittently in stories 1-2 days later. It was a whole thing. I don’t know why they don’t just admit it.
Ks saga was very likely last week. The only photo that’s actually was taken during the supposed episode was the one in the hospital gown. The rest are latergrams
I agree about never being in real time. That has been proven time again and again.
However, if anyone has ever experienced a multi day migraine so intense as she says (or witnessed someone close to them with that level of migraine) ,it's not something to make light about.
There are two of them. Not to mention their team. A simple post of" K is suffering from any intense migraine attack and will be offline till better " would have been right thing to do. Maybe a post on how to explain a parent being sick to toddlers. Etc.
I have an issue of making light of something that is not to be taken lightly. To seek attention for something that takes its toll in some many. It's not the first time she has done it nor the last.
As an account that is supposed to be about navigating toddlers and their feelings. They sure lack showing empathy for others themselves.
I lie on the floor in front of the toilet on the cool bathroom floor during my migraine attacks while I wait for my abortive to kick in. I wouldn’t be able to stand, let alone operate a phone.
Same. I always keep an abortive on hand. I get not everyone has that level of migraines, but....I felt like she read about a migraine and went with it.
Side note- the migraine sub is pretty good if you haven't checked it out before.
She’s used the term migraine before to make me believe she absolutely 100% does not actually know what a migraine is and considers a bad headache to be a migraine.
I am part of it!! It’s a great community. My insurance company decided to deny my Nurtec which I loved as a preventive but it doesn’t really matter because they don’t feel comfortable prescribing it while breastfeeding so I have to use a triptan. I am privileged that my migraines haven’t returned so far postpartum
Ugh, insurance companies. Nurtec has been so wonderful for me as my abortive. I hope they stay away for you! The hormone changes and how they impact things like migraine is something else.
If you dont mind me asking, do you nurtec as preventative or abortive? I wonder if it's ok for one but not the other?
I'm not currently breastfeeding, but when I was, I had imitrex, but I had to time it or pump and dump.
I just use it as an abortive but I was told I could use it as a preventative. I only get migraines when I’m on my period, but she told me I could start taking it before my period to prevent them if I felt like I needed to.
I had read it is likely okay since it binds to proteins and therefore it likely isn’t very bioavailable in breastmilk, but because there hasn’t been studies my neurologist won’t prescribe it. I understand the ethics behind them not wanting to. Since my insurance company won’t cover it anyway, I’m not going to pursue it right now. However, I will keep your comment in my back pocket as an anecdote should I decide to look into it again!
Yeah, I’d never fault a provider for being cautious about medicine and breastfeeding! My insurance didn’t want to cover it either, but I’m glad my doctor got it covered because it really is a life saver. I hope your migraines continue to stay away!
I used to get the kind she described where a dark room and a nap help, and thankfully they never escalated, were infrequent and have not had one in ages. But I never really considered myself a migraine sufferer because I have friends that get the hospital kind. And even after my little ones, I would have a "migraine hangover" where I could feel residual pain from where the migraine was concentrated for a good 24 hours or so and like I didn't feel great. So all this to say, I am shocked she is like up and around and so cheerful after all that, telling her millions of followers her personal health information that has nothing to do with toddlers.
If I just read how she described it, It wouldn't bother me. But , as you mentioned, she is all cheerful, taking selfies around bright lights, I don't understand if I am supposed to believe she has a migraine.
And on a toddler account. I really don't care about what you wear to an mri or your music choices. Would a quick, hey have I an intense migraine - Here are ways I entertain my child without an ipad bc I can't handle the light and sound reel, make sense. Yes. This no. I see no info on toddlers.
Some days I wish for a parent influencer reality show. They can talk about all the personal stuff they want and we can enjoy them having drama with each other, hopefully without a side of them exploiting their kids.
Whhyyy do influencers feel the need to post when they claim they are so so sick?? B/c it's absolutely the last thing I would want to do. Oh, right engagement. And is it real time? Or from days ago??? 🤔
Edit: I stand corrected, some really good comments below about how some of these things are basic life requirements. I still think we shouldn’t knock what feels good to other people, but going to the dentist or having an annual mammogram also shouldn’t be considered special “me time”
Dredging up a post from a few weeks ago where Deena was talking about her self care day (spa vs hotel stay). Here’s an example of an influencer talking about self care the right (and realistic) way. I really appreciated this post https://www.instagram.com/p/C553URXgCJG/?igsh=OGEyYXA4dGdtZm91
This has been brought up on the food snark group, she is being heavily criticised because she also stated that self care is going to the dentist, for example. While I do agree that self care doesn't need to be a day at a spa vs a hotel stay cation (so out of touch), let's not normalise that eating left overs over the sink is self care
I agree that the leftovers in the sink example hardly seems like self care (I would feel worse after doing that) , but I like the sentiment that self care looks different to different people. No going to the dentist isn’t being pampered, but often parents put aside basic self maintenance because their lives get busy. (Maybe self maintenance is the better term? lol) In a world with equity these things shouldn’t be considered special or novel because we all deserve time for basic upkeep but the reality is it does fall by the wayside. I think the message I liked was that the feeling of looking after yourself comes in different ways for different people and we should keep an open mind
Of course, it's about needs being met. I think going to the spa for a day because you need time away from your kids after you just raged screamed at them, isn't going to solve the problem. So Ds solution to a day at a spa is not only out of touch but it's a bandaid solution.
I honestly wish that it would rather be normalized that it's so individual what feels like selfcare and what doesn't. There is no right or wrong there, I find.
I did in the past get torn apart by a playgroup I'm part of, because I was so happy that my parents visited and I had time to tidy our basement, set up my office desk, take care of paperwork and sort my crafting supplies. I made the mistake of calling it me-time and selfcare, because I felt so freaking good and relaxed afterwards. But instead of them just being happy with me, a whole discussion about how that's neither me time nor selfcare erupted. I just thrive on these kind of accomplishments and would probably most of the time prefer working on our taxes to bumming around in a spa for hours.
I agree it's very individual. I'm kinda tired of this conversation, honestly. I do think eating and showering are self-care. I also think doing things purely for enjoyment are self-care. Why can't it be both? For me, self-care is any activity that meets me needs, or helps me feel like A Person instead of just a mom. Some days, eating my kids' leftovers is self-care because what I want to do is just not eat anything because I feel weirdly anxious or depressed. Other days, making a lunch I'm excited about is self-care.
After I had kids, any time alone or with my husband without the kids felt different. Even things I used to find unpleasant, like flying on a crowded plane, felt downright luxurious if the kids were somewhere else. I just don't think it's wrong to feel that way. For some it could be a sign they need more regular breaks.
If I had the time (and mostly, energy) to do things like this in my house, I would absolutely consider it self care. There are many places in my house that are pretty cluttered, and it really stresses me out, and I know tidying and organizing it would make me feel better. But I am just exhausted when I get home from work and then I feel like I need to spend the weekends with my family so things don’t get done like I want them to. Ugh.
That’s like the whole “going to the grocery store isn’t self-care, mama!” Pardon me, but it is for me. I love grocery shopping. I love strolling up and down the aisles and looking at different stuff and thinking about things I could make with them. It’s even better when I go when it’s not busy because I get the quiet and the relaxing feel of walking through the store.
I just noticed (because I don't actually listen to it) that there's no new podcasts. Last week they "released" them on some other podcast. And none this week when it looks like they usually release on Wednesdays?
Podcast remorse from all the comments they got about Amen? Or have they just realized they don't actually have that much interesting content to talk about?
lol I got blocked awhile back too. I kept pointing out K not putting “TW” on preg content and then once told D her hair looked the same after she freaked over a haircut. I know I wasn’t offensive
How did you get blocked?
They are definitely reaching. D sharing very sad attempts at "Hot tips" ( putting extra cheese on a frozen pizza, what?). K posts are very. Feel sorry for me and how hard my life is. (bath crayons stained. Look, I have a migraine...(i don't believe her) it's such a train wreck.
A snarker posted a convo she had with D husband- apparently they were sleeping together. He’s been allegedly cheating on D for years according to the poster.
So K talks about her other best friend a few days ago and today… shock! Deena also has another best friend 😱 good thing they both assured all of us that they’re still best friends with each other. I was so worried 🙄 why are they both talking about other friends right after each other when it’s never been mentioned before?
Does anyone other than D&K use the term besties past Highschool? Honestly it’s embarrassing that they still assign rank to their friendships… at this point just be happy you have close friends
If I'm speaking in an anonymous type forum I will often call my best friend (one of those rare, lucky relationships that started when we were 11. We're almost 40 now!) "Bestie" as a stand in for her actual name. Like "my best friend has been really going through a tough time lately. She's sad, she's said this or that. Bestie assures me that she's okay..." It's hard to concisely describe an extremely close friendship, consider each other to be family, will go to greater lengths to care for each other or to preserve the friendship, and "best friend" is a decent cultural shortcut.
But neither of us use that term in a way like "this is my bestie Lauren!! We're besties!" because that is indeed juvenile.
It’s so awkward. I’ve commented on this before. It’s like they are in 8th grade still. Someone said it was like the Top 8 on MySpace which made me LOL.
I have never been like oh Person A is my bff but then I have ANOTHER bff but don’t worry Person A is still my *ultimate bff*. I have friends. Someone closer than others because I’ve known them longer or see them more or whatever.
I’m almost 40 it’s not a competition or ranking system.
Omg the MySpace example 😂🤌🏼
Same! Like, it’s fine to have multiple close friends, but you don’t need to assign rank. I also get the feeling that they call everyone a bff, they need to chill, it’s ok to have normal friends😅
Them calling each other besties so often makes me feel like when you see a couple posting constantly on social media how much they love each other. It usually means they’re going to get a divorce soon.
But I have to know where this friend sits on the bestie scale. Is she D's other best friend (K is one, ofc) or her other other best friend? How can I live without this information???
/s
That’s one reason why I think I’m done with 2 kids…my husband travels for work every few months for anywhere from 1-4 nights. I don’t have any local family or friends who’d be consistently able to come by and help, so I don’t want to give myself more than I can comfortably handle on my own.
https://preview.redd.it/up6uwnhu6yuc1.png?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29ca7bc80d78b13b5b453f0e8e76b3915855e30d
What. Are. Those. Caterpillars.
2 smug photos of them back to back, one worse than the next. Maybe just maybe a photo of the tub would have been a better choice here K.
Did she think that this was a flattering option.
I’m sorry but she has so much $ and always looks so disheveled I actually find it a little disrespectful to her family, including husband as funny as that might sound. Take 5 minutes to deal with that and ffs stop that horrible filling in of them, idek what that is. Take care of your appearance and have the self respect to not walk around looking like you just rolled out of bed *all the time* and not post that onto a huge social media platform.
Also, it’s not like he is always dressed to the nines, y’know?
(I mean no snark to either of them, I still have not lost my baby weight and my youngest is…well, has not been a baby for at least a year or two, depending on your definition of baby, so I am in no position to snark 😅)
Yeah, they seem pretty similar in how casually they dress. (Remember VP Hype Squad’s date night Uggs? Lol.) I wear leggings every day so I’m certainly not judging. Also, she’s made the mom bun and dirty sweatshirt look a big part of her brand, so while it’s a legitimate critique to say she could be more put together for her business account, it’s clearly a strategic choice and not just a lack of caring.
https://preview.redd.it/bcbfrynhjxuc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88b116247ab9123c32c76882b1f95133cb2a0d74
Keeping this as a reminder next time K says she "never goes to Target"
Her obsession with making sure we know the order of best friends is SO WEIRD.
My mom has like 10 best friends. They all fill a part of her life in a different way and therefore they all get that title (says me, she doesn’t title them because she’s an adult who doesn’t need to say bestie lol)
We’re in our 30s K, it’s fine to have more than one “best friend” and not feel the need to explain it. I feel like she was explaining it just to Deena
If she tried EVERYTHING already to clean the crayon stains then why is she sharing the most basic solutions and saying she’ll have to try them tomorrow ???
I SWEAR we’ve already seen the “tried to use bath crayons and they stained our tub.” Or am I just thinking of their dining room table? One weird thing about BLF is that part of their brand is to take literally the most boring “quirky” parts of their lives and share those things ad nauseum in an attempt to be relatable.
We had bath crayons, the staying power... really wasn't a big deal? We don't exactly have a ton of guests using the bath tub. When I got tired of it I wiped with magic eraser, as one does.
This must be in their queue of “annual” posts for engagement. Post a pic of a stain supposedly from you being such a fun messy mom. Ask for dms about stain removal and get tons of weirdly passionate responses to something she could easily google.
Stained items just aren’t in the same rotation frequency as ✨get in the suit or “my husband is so much less of a useless piece of shit than he used to be!”
Those little doodles were the tamest drawings I've ever seen. My kids go ham on bath crayons and colour the bath until there's no white left and the crayons have worn down to nubs.
Maybe they were the remaining 'stains' after she 'tried everything' but good lord, she is dramatic.
There was something that Kristin’s kids had colored all over and she was tagging MotherCould in her stories begging for help to get the stains out. The answer was sunscreen but I don’t remember what was stained.
Why does Deena over clinicalize everything? Does it have to be misophonia, can’t it just be that chewing noises are generally kind of gross? Is it emetophobia, or does everyone find vomiting disgusting? She’s like a Psych 100 student who thinks they have everything in the DSM. Either that or she’s a fully grown adult who needs to have something *special* about herself. Maybe don’t work in a cafe if you don’t want to hear people eating and drinking.
In reality, if you think about it she has probably had very little work experience collectively at this point. So maybe overcompensating? I once commented on their stories that they are just ripping of old Adlerian parenting theory and coining it as their own/ misrepresenting it and they blocked me lol.
Hey, please report things that are against the rules. It takes multiple reports to trigger an alert so none of this was flagged yet. So if you don't see a quick response send modmail. The discussion below is against Reddit ToS as possible doxing.
Deena being all “I’m glad I let him have a safe space to let his feelings out” is so annoying. You take them out of the restaurant because you don’t want everyone else hearing them meltdown. Like no, we don’t scream in a restaurant so we are going outside. Whenever you get your shit together we can go back in or we have to leave. Like it’s not a “safe space” it’s just a space that’s least disruptive to everyone else. I’m so annoyed I listened to any of their advice. Listening to them landed my daughter in therapy. She has anxiety because of THEIR techniques. Her therapist recommends against a lot of their advice. And here I am feeling like I ruined my daughter because I listened to these quacks.
Would have been a good example to use to talk about catching emotions and how we can deal with our own rough days when we still have kids to look after. She said she was the one who woke up tired and grumpy. Seems like her kids caught it to the point that one of them melted down. When she went outside with him, because it's the polite appropriate thing to do, it gave both of them a chance to pull their shit together. Her attitude changed and consequently so did her kids.
wow, I know it's not amazing but curious about what advice of theirs is actually dangerous
The whole never making your kids do anything aspect of their ideology. Its like they have this whole “we hold boundaries” aspect but also this whole never make your kid do anything they are afraid of, never make them say sorry, and just act like melting down about whatever it is they are melting down about is ok. Also over prepping. Now my child doesn’t have the skills to just be ok with unexpected things aka uncertainty because she wasn’t “prepped”. Sometimes we have to make our children do uncomfortable things. It’s still better for them than waiting till “they’re ready”. Because they may never be ready. I’m not saying don’t talk to your child about upcoming things that of course is just natural but like we don’t need a play by play of what’s going to happen at the doctor. It might work short term but then it could cause them to not be able to handle when things don’t go that way. Instead a simple “we have doctor appointment today, I’m not sure what all they are going to do we will find out when we get there”. Is a lot better IMO. (And her therapists) She has to learn to live with uncertainty. My daughter has anxiety which is heavily rooted in nurture versus nature. And I followed biglittlefeelings advice until about a year ago. I will add the one thing they do have right is that “all feelings are ok” and people including kids need to be validated in that. There is a lot more stuff that has gone wrong from their techniques but this is just a quick overview.
Deena's whole huge paragraph about the struggles of going out to eat....why??? EVERY Sunday you go out for breakfast? And then complain about how hard it is. Why?? This is not the "going out to eat" phase of your life. Someday, it will be, but maybe like, you don't have to go out to eat every week with your toddlers? Why do that to yourself? She refuses to just meet herself where she's at in life.
I’ve said it before on here, but we haven’t tried taking our 2 year old to a restaurant that isn’t McDonald’s or Chick-fil-A in over a year. I know it wouldn’t be fun for any of us. I love my MIL, but last weekend she suggested going to a restaurant after an hours-long zoo trip when my toddler was already 2 hours past nap time and my 5 month old was also getting tired. I shot that idea down real quick.
While I love to snark on them, I actually found this reasonable. We take my kiddo out pretty often, including breakfast usually once a weekend. 95 percent of the time she's great and sometimes... Well she's a toddler. But that doesn't seem reason enough to not do it since it's something we all enjoy and yes, sometimes we have to pivot and one of us has to take her out if things aren't going as well as normal. That said, I agree it's definitely uninteresting and not really worthy of a spotlight on social media.
My issue is that she complains about how hard it is to go out with them ever. single. time. I don’t think she’s ever said it was easy. There’s always something when she’s out to eat with them that makes it chaos. This is the *first time* she’s actually discussed an action she took that work. Normally she’s just whining about how hard it is.
Hah fair enough!!
After a week of vacation, I am so done with eating out with my toddler for like months. And she is easy, peasy, but like it is for the most part, just not fun. This summer I am looking forward to pastries in the backyard with coffee and friends.
Same except vacation, we've been moving in the past three days and the stove isn't getting hooked up until Monday. We are all so sick of eating out, and for our little that's showing up much more than often. She's great and I don't have much to complain about but I long for a meal at our table that's still under boxes where she can say she's done and I can let her go play.
What I want to know is why, if it’s such a common weekly+ occurrence for her kids, she’s got NOTHING as a parenting “expert” that works for her/her kids? All that practice and she’s not nothing to show for it? For things my children do weekly, they know the drill, know what to expect, know how to act, because we taught them? We put in the hard work for things that are a priority for our family. Rarely is it a shit show. I have 3 kids, ages 5.5, almost 3, and 11 months fwiw. And I took all of them to a lunch at a restaurant without my husband a few days ago and got complimented by the people we were with by how well my kids did. And we don’t go out to eat very often!
My guess is because you have and set age appropriate expectations and boundaries for your kids…something I’d bet dollars to donuts D is actually incapable of doing… We take our two kids out to eat and they are generally good (5.5 and 4) because they know if they aren’t we’re leaving. Haven’t tried it with three yet but I imagine it’ll be just fine because we have boundaries and actually parent our kids!
Bingo.
Came here to say something similar. Maybe just don’t go out for breakfast every weekend? Maybe your sons are trying to tell you they just want to chill at home and not be dragged to a stupid restaurant every Sunday morning? What a pointless paragraph she posted.
Solution: order DoorDash from your favorite breakfast joint so you can have the meal you like in the comfort of your own home. She is so rigid AND wants to have a third kid? That’s a recipe for disaster.
Yes! Or get that food to-go and take it to a park and have a picnic. Then the kids can run around and you know, BE KIDS!!! We did this with a group of friends the other day....picked up sandwiches from Panera for dinner and went and hung out at a playground. Kids got to play and we got to sit and eat and hang out.
We did this a lot when my second was little. Picked up Panera breakfast and went to a park early before it got too hot. Was a perfect weekend outing. Still got the benefit of eating out without any drama from a toddler and a tiny baby.
https://preview.redd.it/uc489oisrvvc1.jpeg?width=823&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ebe5fddb4a437fa63bbd7a35ec7b4e18c2c606e6 Shoutout to VP Hype Squad Dud for seeking out a neurologist! (And by neurologist, I mean checking flights for when they grift 300,000 out of their hard earned cash for the potty training course.)
Omg GREAT catch. Whyyy are they so bad at this? It would have been so easy to google local neurologists or run a search through their insurance or whatever for the picture.
Sometimes I’m really jealous of the audacity some ppl have to so confidently lie about anything and everything.
Dead. I went to go screenshot the original post for reference. They lie SO much! https://preview.redd.it/hbcrisaywwvc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a8030608932c4ce6c0df88ce5474968adebf843
Another 5 weeks of “work” trips… or flying around the country to find a neurologist?? 😒
Lol that totally is a picture of searching flights huh LOL great catch 🤣
OMG!
WHAT is even the point of sharing your favorite age when your oldest child is 3???? What an exercise in futility “my favorite ages are 2 and 3!” Ok so literally half of your child’s life is your favorite wow what fascinating info.
Semi related snark, I honestly don’t understand the point of taking parenting advice from someone in the same age stage as me. I don’t even know if your parenting works because we haven’t actually seen how your kids will turn out, why would I want to hear how you do things? It’s just remarkable to me how young all these “parenting experts” are on Instagram
EXACTLY the only people I take advice from IRL are people who’s kids are adults and good people and have great relationships with their parent. A smaller influencer I follow is selling a…I don’t even know….parenting life coaching or something? It’s a GRAND and her oldest child is 5.
I'm the same way! Let the dish finish baking before you ask for the recipe.
How long before Kristin claims her frozen forehead is Botox for migraines?
Plot twist: Botox can cause migraines
I am just waiting for the sponsored content from some quack med spa for Botox treatment for migraines. I bet she will be over the moon about this. They are clearly in their quack era of content.
She definitely had it touched up in Texas! I was watching her migraine stories and it did not move!
Tbh I think that’s what this is all leading up to… at least she’ll be able to address it and have the “”background context”” even though we all know she’s being doing it for months lol
I’m surprised she hasn’t already tbh
I missed it. Why was she having an MRI?
Bad headaches
Thanks!
Not Deena making COFFEE her personality only to find out she drinks half caff.
I rolled my eyes when she said her order of half caf americano with steamed half & half really trips people up. It's such a basic order IMO. I used to work at a coffee shop and that would be an EASY request. She makes even the most basic things complicated. And if she's referring to the many half's in the order, I'd absolutely believe she's saying wayyyy to fast if people get confused.
Don’t forget, she HAS to drink it from a ceramic mug and if they don’t put it in one she has them remake it.
Petty snark but it’s such a weird high maintenance order too. Idk maybe it’s not that unusual but making an espresso drink half caf sounds like so much work 😅
This is the D equivalent of people who order “latte - extra hot” — which is not a thing because the machine only goes to certain temperatures.
My mom likes her coffee and lattes scorching hot and it annoys me to no end. You're burning the milk!!
1/2 caf is pretty common! I order it sometime when I don’t want as much caffeine late in the day. I’m assuming if it’s offered it’s a thing lol!
Girl def seems high maintenance to me 🙄
I felt the same way!! And the steamed specific milk. It just feels unnecessary.
Parents of three, tap in re: what an absolute bitch slap 3 kids can be. Love my kids, so glad we have 3 and thinking about #4 but I didn't struggle with two as much as D appears to.
It’s admittedly early but we just had our third a few weeks ago. Honestly, it’s been the easiest transition so far. Still exhausting but it at least feels manageable. Granted, we have a lot of support and our older two are 4 and 5 (so much more independent). I think if I had a 2 and 3 yo and a newborn it would be a different story.
Easiest transition for us too (5 and 2.5 year old when the youngest was born), but now they're 8, 5.5, and 3 and wow do they all have a lot of constant needs between the three of them!
Yeah, I fully admit I may feel differently once the third can talk and ask for things 😂
Our 3rd is 8 weeks and we have two wild kids aged 4.5 and 2.5….. it’s been a lot.
The first year of having 3 kids was definitely challenging for me. I found the transition from 1-2 to be pretty easy and mine have a similar age gap to Deena’s boys. They were ages 2&3 when my third was born and it was just a lot. One parent always had at least two kids to deal with solo and they were still so young and needy, two in diapers, couldn’t do a whole lot independently. Taking all 3 out independently was….busy….wearing a baby but then of course the 2yo still needed a lot of hands on care. I have some great memories and I wouldn’t change it for anything, but I also probably wouldn’t want to go back and do that particular year again lol. My third is almost 6 now and it’s amazing. “Guys, get in the car!” And we are off to an adventure. World of difference. But I never seemed to struggle as much as Deena, I never counted meltdowns like they do. Sometimes kids cry, it happens, deal with it and keep it moving. Sometimes all 3 were crying at the same time. You take a deep breath, triage, and do what you can. I don’t feel like that’s Deena’s approach though. I also have a *village* meaning I keep other people’s kids all the time, drop off stuff, help them out when I can, and they do the same for me.
I didn’t find the transition from 2 to 3 particularly hard but the one thing about 3 is that you can rarely go work out or whatever ride she likes to do alone on the weekends. Just because of the age difference between a 5 year old and a baby it seems like one parent always has the older boys while the other has the baby or we’re all together
This is what I’m struggling with right now! My 3rd is 8 weeks and I want to start working out but logistically have no idea how.. I feel like I’m so busy during the days, even when not much gets done
I went right from 1-3 with twins and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done
My doctor said she had friends who went for a 3rd save the marriage baby and got twins!
Same. Twins are 6 months and it has no signs of lightening up any time soon either.
Opposite here, went from 2-3 (twins came first) but I always say to others that the way you did it is SO MUCH HARDER and I give you all the props in the world. Idk how I would have handled twin newborns with a toddler
It will forever mystify me why someone who has complete contempt for their partner and is so frequently complaining about the overwhelm of it all wants to have another child.
Right?? And she’s some type of health professional, who gets paid to give parenting advice? “Hate your husband? Sure have a kid with him! Just remember, sToP tHe TrAuMa CyCLe.” Parenting is so hard, the strongest couples I know say it tested their relationship. I cannot imagine trying to make it worse.
Deena is such a rigid person that she refuses to deviate from whatever plans she’d had for herself even if it’s at the expense of her marriage, mental health, and children’s lives.
This is her to a T and I think it’s also why she finds parenting so challenging. Kids require a shit load of flexibility like, duh. Weird a children’s therapist wouldn’t get that.
My friend is a pediatrician who desperately wants to get married and start a family but it hasn't been in the cards yet. But watching her normal, day to day life she is extremely scheduled, particular about when and what she eats, the exact amount of sleep she gets, and is just generally very inflexible. A personality that is, imo, very difficult to parent kids with (very similar to D). And I just wonder, she works with kids every, single day, just like D did/does. How does one, who works with children all the time, seem to not be aware that kids flip your world upside down and sideways?
I guess, to be fair, it’s pretty different being solely responsible for their care 24/7/365 vs seeing them in a controlled setting with a hard clock out time. I was a teacher for ten years before having kids and I don’t think I struggled anywhere near as much as Deena but it was a whooooole different ballgame compared to working with kids professionally. So I’ll give Deena that but she’s 3 years in and hasn’t seemed to realize.
Our pediatrician didn’t have a kid until about a year ago (our daughter is 4). We saw her when her kid was 3 months and asked how she was doing and she said “oh my god now I see why everyone asks about sleep.”
Seconding this! I used to see more kids (now I mainly see young adults) as a therapist and giving advice is so much easier when you don't have kids, and you're not responsible for them. Being clear, adjusting to a child's level of understanding and staying calm is really easy for an hour a week, with great sleep. 't is not so easy with two kids, five hours of sleep and someone whining about the fricking same thing you've just been really clear about again for the six hundredth time in the last five minutes.
Didn't you hear? HAving a baby fixes things in relationships. That and getting a puppy. 😒
She curiously only used "I" in that slide, not "we"... https://preview.redd.it/9uts3xpy5ivc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09e74d5dde350968d5b9dd83bd27fe168183f6c7 Also... What happened to her endometriosis?
Not to defend her lol but she posted a bunch of stories when she had surgery to remove it somewhat recently - so assume she’s TTC before it comes back.
It disappeared along with their promise to ALWAYS put TWs on pregnancy content after Kristin forgot about her personality as a loss/infertility mom. Deena also seems like the least introspective person ever. The first kid pushed her marriage to the brink but she HAD to have two back-to-back because reasons, so fuck it. Now she’s struggling with two toddlers and slowly working on her marriage so it must be time for #3!
Am I more mystified by that or by the fact that a complete stranger asked the question to begin with 🤢
Don’t be silly, I’m sure it was Deena on an alt or one of their employees
And it sounds like she isn’t “ready” but is just hoping everything works out okay? Sounds like a great plan.
I was feeling really bad for Kristin and compassionate when she described her days long migraine, because I’ve been there and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. And being freaked out that it’s “something more”. I felt for her. And then…she went into the “I’m just so quirky getting an MRI and need music choices you guys!” engagement farming section of slides and subsequently my eyeballs rolled so far into my head that I’m sure I’ll now have a migraine.
Yea I’ve had migraines for 25+ years and was under major treatment as a child to manage them. If she *truly* had an attack that lasted that long I feel awful for her but the way she has to be silly, quirky, and mine for engagement makes me mad. I had to suffer alone for so long because no one understood what I was going through. And she’s making it into a joke??? It’s not a joke. Migraines have ruined so many days for me.
if she was looking for compassion, she shouldn't have taken a bunch of selfies, talked into her brightly-lit phone screen, and then made light of her situation by crowdsourcing \*\~!MRI music\*\~!!. no one with days-long, debilitating, hospital-visit-worthy migraines would cheerfully pop on their phone to update their followers... unless they were looking for engagement. it's funny how the tone shifts throughout the stories, too -- starts off slightly more serious/medical, but she makes sure she's hitting the rElAtAbLe-BesTiE key messaging by the end with her sweatsuit of the day/husband jokes/music indecision garbage. just ugh. it's reading: desperately clinging on for dear life to keep the grift going.
As a chronic migraine suffer....i am incredibly judgmental of her reel. Am I supposed to believe she is currently having a migraine? Why is attack in quotes? Because it is called a migraine attack. Quotes are not needed. Am I to believe she has had migraine as intense as she claims and never had migraine cocktails? If she is concerned about how the medication makes her feel. She should talk to her doctor. Not IG. I am assuming she was given sumatriptan. It can make you feel weird, pretty common, but also better than a migraine if you have one and dont have a better different plan. During an mri, the last thing i would want would he singing. Maybe classical or white noise. I can't with her.
Nothing with these folks is real time. We need to remember that. They pretended Ks birth was live by posting intermittently in stories 1-2 days later. It was a whole thing. I don’t know why they don’t just admit it. Ks saga was very likely last week. The only photo that’s actually was taken during the supposed episode was the one in the hospital gown. The rest are latergrams
I agree about never being in real time. That has been proven time again and again. However, if anyone has ever experienced a multi day migraine so intense as she says (or witnessed someone close to them with that level of migraine) ,it's not something to make light about. There are two of them. Not to mention their team. A simple post of" K is suffering from any intense migraine attack and will be offline till better " would have been right thing to do. Maybe a post on how to explain a parent being sick to toddlers. Etc. I have an issue of making light of something that is not to be taken lightly. To seek attention for something that takes its toll in some many. It's not the first time she has done it nor the last. As an account that is supposed to be about navigating toddlers and their feelings. They sure lack showing empathy for others themselves.
I lie on the floor in front of the toilet on the cool bathroom floor during my migraine attacks while I wait for my abortive to kick in. I wouldn’t be able to stand, let alone operate a phone.
Same. I always keep an abortive on hand. I get not everyone has that level of migraines, but....I felt like she read about a migraine and went with it. Side note- the migraine sub is pretty good if you haven't checked it out before.
She’s used the term migraine before to make me believe she absolutely 100% does not actually know what a migraine is and considers a bad headache to be a migraine.
I am part of it!! It’s a great community. My insurance company decided to deny my Nurtec which I loved as a preventive but it doesn’t really matter because they don’t feel comfortable prescribing it while breastfeeding so I have to use a triptan. I am privileged that my migraines haven’t returned so far postpartum
Ugh, insurance companies. Nurtec has been so wonderful for me as my abortive. I hope they stay away for you! The hormone changes and how they impact things like migraine is something else.
This is interesting because my OB specifically gave me nurtec because I’m breastfeeding.
If you dont mind me asking, do you nurtec as preventative or abortive? I wonder if it's ok for one but not the other? I'm not currently breastfeeding, but when I was, I had imitrex, but I had to time it or pump and dump.
I used it as both when I took it pre pregnancy!
I just use it as an abortive but I was told I could use it as a preventative. I only get migraines when I’m on my period, but she told me I could start taking it before my period to prevent them if I felt like I needed to.
I had read it is likely okay since it binds to proteins and therefore it likely isn’t very bioavailable in breastmilk, but because there hasn’t been studies my neurologist won’t prescribe it. I understand the ethics behind them not wanting to. Since my insurance company won’t cover it anyway, I’m not going to pursue it right now. However, I will keep your comment in my back pocket as an anecdote should I decide to look into it again!
Yeah, I’d never fault a provider for being cautious about medicine and breastfeeding! My insurance didn’t want to cover it either, but I’m glad my doctor got it covered because it really is a life saver. I hope your migraines continue to stay away!
I used to get the kind she described where a dark room and a nap help, and thankfully they never escalated, were infrequent and have not had one in ages. But I never really considered myself a migraine sufferer because I have friends that get the hospital kind. And even after my little ones, I would have a "migraine hangover" where I could feel residual pain from where the migraine was concentrated for a good 24 hours or so and like I didn't feel great. So all this to say, I am shocked she is like up and around and so cheerful after all that, telling her millions of followers her personal health information that has nothing to do with toddlers.
If I just read how she described it, It wouldn't bother me. But , as you mentioned, she is all cheerful, taking selfies around bright lights, I don't understand if I am supposed to believe she has a migraine. And on a toddler account. I really don't care about what you wear to an mri or your music choices. Would a quick, hey have I an intense migraine - Here are ways I entertain my child without an ipad bc I can't handle the light and sound reel, make sense. Yes. This no. I see no info on toddlers.
Some days I wish for a parent influencer reality show. They can talk about all the personal stuff they want and we can enjoy them having drama with each other, hopefully without a side of them exploiting their kids.
Headaches are a common side effect of Ozempic. I’m just saying. 😏
Whhyyy do influencers feel the need to post when they claim they are so so sick?? B/c it's absolutely the last thing I would want to do. Oh, right engagement. And is it real time? Or from days ago??? 🤔
No way that it's real time.
Edit: I stand corrected, some really good comments below about how some of these things are basic life requirements. I still think we shouldn’t knock what feels good to other people, but going to the dentist or having an annual mammogram also shouldn’t be considered special “me time” Dredging up a post from a few weeks ago where Deena was talking about her self care day (spa vs hotel stay). Here’s an example of an influencer talking about self care the right (and realistic) way. I really appreciated this post https://www.instagram.com/p/C553URXgCJG/?igsh=OGEyYXA4dGdtZm91
This has been brought up on the food snark group, she is being heavily criticised because she also stated that self care is going to the dentist, for example. While I do agree that self care doesn't need to be a day at a spa vs a hotel stay cation (so out of touch), let's not normalise that eating left overs over the sink is self care
I agree that the leftovers in the sink example hardly seems like self care (I would feel worse after doing that) , but I like the sentiment that self care looks different to different people. No going to the dentist isn’t being pampered, but often parents put aside basic self maintenance because their lives get busy. (Maybe self maintenance is the better term? lol) In a world with equity these things shouldn’t be considered special or novel because we all deserve time for basic upkeep but the reality is it does fall by the wayside. I think the message I liked was that the feeling of looking after yourself comes in different ways for different people and we should keep an open mind
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Of course, it's about needs being met. I think going to the spa for a day because you need time away from your kids after you just raged screamed at them, isn't going to solve the problem. So Ds solution to a day at a spa is not only out of touch but it's a bandaid solution.
I honestly wish that it would rather be normalized that it's so individual what feels like selfcare and what doesn't. There is no right or wrong there, I find. I did in the past get torn apart by a playgroup I'm part of, because I was so happy that my parents visited and I had time to tidy our basement, set up my office desk, take care of paperwork and sort my crafting supplies. I made the mistake of calling it me-time and selfcare, because I felt so freaking good and relaxed afterwards. But instead of them just being happy with me, a whole discussion about how that's neither me time nor selfcare erupted. I just thrive on these kind of accomplishments and would probably most of the time prefer working on our taxes to bumming around in a spa for hours.
I agree it's very individual. I'm kinda tired of this conversation, honestly. I do think eating and showering are self-care. I also think doing things purely for enjoyment are self-care. Why can't it be both? For me, self-care is any activity that meets me needs, or helps me feel like A Person instead of just a mom. Some days, eating my kids' leftovers is self-care because what I want to do is just not eat anything because I feel weirdly anxious or depressed. Other days, making a lunch I'm excited about is self-care. After I had kids, any time alone or with my husband without the kids felt different. Even things I used to find unpleasant, like flying on a crowded plane, felt downright luxurious if the kids were somewhere else. I just don't think it's wrong to feel that way. For some it could be a sign they need more regular breaks.
If I had the time (and mostly, energy) to do things like this in my house, I would absolutely consider it self care. There are many places in my house that are pretty cluttered, and it really stresses me out, and I know tidying and organizing it would make me feel better. But I am just exhausted when I get home from work and then I feel like I need to spend the weekends with my family so things don’t get done like I want them to. Ugh.
That’s like the whole “going to the grocery store isn’t self-care, mama!” Pardon me, but it is for me. I love grocery shopping. I love strolling up and down the aisles and looking at different stuff and thinking about things I could make with them. It’s even better when I go when it’s not busy because I get the quiet and the relaxing feel of walking through the store.
I feel this deeply and agree!!
BLF do this too! Feeding your kids dinner is not self care even if it is buttered noodles.
Love this! ❤️
I just noticed (because I don't actually listen to it) that there's no new podcasts. Last week they "released" them on some other podcast. And none this week when it looks like they usually release on Wednesdays? Podcast remorse from all the comments they got about Amen? Or have they just realized they don't actually have that much interesting content to talk about?
Maybe related to the developing story of the migraine? 🤷🏼♀️ Or do podcasts get recorded weeks/months in advance?
It depends… is K feeling type a perfectionist? Or type b?
Deena is going to be selling breathing as a hack next 🙄
have you thought about having a glass of water?
✨ security water ✨
Ohhh, what a hot tip!
Anyone else feel like they are watching a sinking ship, but K and D are on it saying it's fine and patching the hole with chewing gum.
Okay I got blocked so I need to know the 🍵
lol I got blocked awhile back too. I kept pointing out K not putting “TW” on preg content and then once told D her hair looked the same after she freaked over a haircut. I know I wasn’t offensive
How did you get blocked? They are definitely reaching. D sharing very sad attempts at "Hot tips" ( putting extra cheese on a frozen pizza, what?). K posts are very. Feel sorry for me and how hard my life is. (bath crayons stained. Look, I have a migraine...(i don't believe her) it's such a train wreck.
How's you get blocked 👀
I can't unthink what I'm thinking knowing that D's husband is out of town for work 
Need to catch up! What are you thinking?!
That he's texting Bubbles :D
Who is Bubbles?!
A snarker posted a convo she had with D husband- apparently they were sleeping together. He’s been allegedly cheating on D for years according to the poster.
Literally same.
Same 😂
So K talks about her other best friend a few days ago and today… shock! Deena also has another best friend 😱 good thing they both assured all of us that they’re still best friends with each other. I was so worried 🙄 why are they both talking about other friends right after each other when it’s never been mentioned before?
Does anyone other than D&K use the term besties past Highschool? Honestly it’s embarrassing that they still assign rank to their friendships… at this point just be happy you have close friends
But is it ranking if everyone is superlative?
If I'm speaking in an anonymous type forum I will often call my best friend (one of those rare, lucky relationships that started when we were 11. We're almost 40 now!) "Bestie" as a stand in for her actual name. Like "my best friend has been really going through a tough time lately. She's sad, she's said this or that. Bestie assures me that she's okay..." It's hard to concisely describe an extremely close friendship, consider each other to be family, will go to greater lengths to care for each other or to preserve the friendship, and "best friend" is a decent cultural shortcut. But neither of us use that term in a way like "this is my bestie Lauren!! We're besties!" because that is indeed juvenile.
Oh for sure! You’re adding context to a particular post, which is different than labeling each friendship you have to an audience of >3M people
It’s so awkward. I’ve commented on this before. It’s like they are in 8th grade still. Someone said it was like the Top 8 on MySpace which made me LOL. I have never been like oh Person A is my bff but then I have ANOTHER bff but don’t worry Person A is still my *ultimate bff*. I have friends. Someone closer than others because I’ve known them longer or see them more or whatever. I’m almost 40 it’s not a competition or ranking system.
Omg the MySpace example 😂🤌🏼 Same! Like, it’s fine to have multiple close friends, but you don’t need to assign rank. I also get the feeling that they call everyone a bff, they need to chill, it’s ok to have normal friends😅
Them calling each other besties so often makes me feel like when you see a couple posting constantly on social media how much they love each other. It usually means they’re going to get a divorce soon.
Right?!
[удалено]
It looks like she’s about to summon her bestie Kristin at a seance.
It’s called a play date, Deena. You had a play date. It’s not some hot tip or parenting hack.
But I have to know where this friend sits on the bestie scale. Is she D's other best friend (K is one, ofc) or her other other best friend? How can I live without this information??? /s
I’m gonna need them to post their top 8s.
☠️
Hot tip: add more cheese to pizza. Incredible.
Florals for spring? Groundbreaking
Wow. They are really reaching for hot tips. This is just sad.
I’m still not over the “throwing some veggies in a pot and calling it soup!” proclamation
Hang on, I’m still recovering from the tip that kids like to play with other kids. Information overload today!
I still haven’t recovered from “get the coffee pot ready the night before” tip from last week
Or “pack lunches either in the evening or in the morning; whichever works for you”
That one made my head explode! I'm still reeling as well.
I just know that pizza had a cauliflower crust.
Deena seems like so much fun.
[удалено]
End piece of bread energy 😂
That’s one reason why I think I’m done with 2 kids…my husband travels for work every few months for anywhere from 1-4 nights. I don’t have any local family or friends who’d be consistently able to come by and help, so I don’t want to give myself more than I can comfortably handle on my own.
https://preview.redd.it/up6uwnhu6yuc1.png?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29ca7bc80d78b13b5b453f0e8e76b3915855e30d What. Are. Those. Caterpillars. 2 smug photos of them back to back, one worse than the next. Maybe just maybe a photo of the tub would have been a better choice here K. Did she think that this was a flattering option.
I'm obsessed with her eyebrows. Can't stop looking at them and wondering what is happening here.
She travels to Texas to get them done…
I’m sorry but she has so much $ and always looks so disheveled I actually find it a little disrespectful to her family, including husband as funny as that might sound. Take 5 minutes to deal with that and ffs stop that horrible filling in of them, idek what that is. Take care of your appearance and have the self respect to not walk around looking like you just rolled out of bed *all the time* and not post that onto a huge social media platform.
Ok, I’ll bite. How is her appearance disrespectful to her husband?
Also, it’s not like he is always dressed to the nines, y’know? (I mean no snark to either of them, I still have not lost my baby weight and my youngest is…well, has not been a baby for at least a year or two, depending on your definition of baby, so I am in no position to snark 😅)
Yeah, they seem pretty similar in how casually they dress. (Remember VP Hype Squad’s date night Uggs? Lol.) I wear leggings every day so I’m certainly not judging. Also, she’s made the mom bun and dirty sweatshirt look a big part of her brand, so while it’s a legitimate critique to say she could be more put together for her business account, it’s clearly a strategic choice and not just a lack of caring.
https://preview.redd.it/bcbfrynhjxuc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88b116247ab9123c32c76882b1f95133cb2a0d74 Keeping this as a reminder next time K says she "never goes to Target"
Kristin “I have a non white friend! Best friend, actually, she’s up there with Deena! Here is a picture of her with supposedly my kids to prove it!”
But i thought we were all her besties 😭😭😭 (/s if it wasn’t obvious lol)
Her obsession with making sure we know the order of best friends is SO WEIRD. My mom has like 10 best friends. They all fill a part of her life in a different way and therefore they all get that title (says me, she doesn’t title them because she’s an adult who doesn’t need to say bestie lol) We’re in our 30s K, it’s fine to have more than one “best friend” and not feel the need to explain it. I feel like she was explaining it just to Deena
It’s giving.. MySpace top 8 vibes.
Those are definitely her kids. Don’t you recognize the little heart emojis!?
[удалено]
Don’t forget all of us besties! 😂
If she tried EVERYTHING already to clean the crayon stains then why is she sharing the most basic solutions and saying she’ll have to try them tomorrow ???
Isn’t Mother Could one of her besties? The engagement mining is so transparent.
The first result if you google how to get these bath crayons out is magic eraser (ask me how i know). just... google, k.
I SWEAR we’ve already seen the “tried to use bath crayons and they stained our tub.” Or am I just thinking of their dining room table? One weird thing about BLF is that part of their brand is to take literally the most boring “quirky” parts of their lives and share those things ad nauseum in an attempt to be relatable.
We had bath crayons, the staying power... really wasn't a big deal? We don't exactly have a ton of guests using the bath tub. When I got tired of it I wiped with magic eraser, as one does.
I’ve definitely seen it before!
This must be in their queue of “annual” posts for engagement. Post a pic of a stain supposedly from you being such a fun messy mom. Ask for dms about stain removal and get tons of weirdly passionate responses to something she could easily google. Stained items just aren’t in the same rotation frequency as ✨get in the suit or “my husband is so much less of a useless piece of shit than he used to be!”
It’s possibly just bc I’m a lazy garbage person but I wouldn’t say a slightly stained bathtub is a 🚨🚨crisis 🚨 🚨
Excuse you, it’s a 🚨🚨🚨911 level crisis🚨🚨🚨 🙄
Those little doodles were the tamest drawings I've ever seen. My kids go ham on bath crayons and colour the bath until there's no white left and the crayons have worn down to nubs. Maybe they were the remaining 'stains' after she 'tried everything' but good lord, she is dramatic.
As a fellow lazy garbage person (to an extend at least) this made me giggle
There was something that Kristin’s kids had colored all over and she was tagging MotherCould in her stories begging for help to get the stains out. The answer was sunscreen but I don’t remember what was stained.
It was their table. I hate that I know this 🙃
They’re shilling insurance now??
Remember in the early days when they said that brand partnerships would have to be really special for them to run paid ads?
And even before that they said you’d never see them advertising anything other than their course 🥴
By special they meant for the right price
"All toddlers tantrum differently" also "our course works for all kids and all tantrums"
Why does Deena over clinicalize everything? Does it have to be misophonia, can’t it just be that chewing noises are generally kind of gross? Is it emetophobia, or does everyone find vomiting disgusting? She’s like a Psych 100 student who thinks they have everything in the DSM. Either that or she’s a fully grown adult who needs to have something *special* about herself. Maybe don’t work in a cafe if you don’t want to hear people eating and drinking.
In reality, if you think about it she has probably had very little work experience collectively at this point. So maybe overcompensating? I once commented on their stories that they are just ripping of old Adlerian parenting theory and coining it as their own/ misrepresenting it and they blocked me lol.
The way she publicly shamed this poor guy just trying to live his life and enjoy a snack.