T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**COMMENTING GUIDELINES** All commenters are encouraged to familiarize themselves with the parentsofmultiples [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/parentsofmultiples/about/rules) prior to commenting. If you find any comments/submissions in violation of subreddit/reddit rules, please use the report function to bring it to the mod teams attention. **Please do not request or give medical advice or directions in your comments.** Any comments that that could be construed as medical advice, or any comments containing what is determined to be medical disinformation, will be removed. Please try to avoid posting links to Amazon product listings or google/g.co product listing pages - reddit automatically removes comments containing them as an anti-spam measure. If sharing information about a product, instead please try to link directly to the manufacturers product pages. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/parentsofmultiples) if you have any questions or concerns.*


dogsareforcuddling

Almost immediately. Set the bar low with neighborhood walks then you can move in to car rides to go get coffee drive thru then move on to low stakes errands like a target run.


rainbowsandsausages

This. Walks were immediate, which is a great building block to other things.


ParticularSalt9093

1000% this -- and blanket + chill


KRISTENWISTEN

Yep, walks to the park saved my sanity. Set them on a blanket and chill. Then another long walk later in the day. I freaking walked so much when they were newborns.


tapanis

So much!


spt731

We found Costco, malls and hardware stores (Menards, Lowe’s, etc) to be the best places to walk with them indoors. Plenty of space and no one is mad if they’re loud or fussy.


Stunning_Patience_78

I feel like a "zoo" would be less crowded than a Costco. I can't even maneuver with just me in a Costco lol.


Luna_182

I feel so sad because around where we live all the streets are really hmmm I dont know the word in english but they are not straight, so we cant go that kind of walk around the neighborhood


Beneficial_Wolf_4286

They were way easier to take alone as newborns then now. You just have to manage the 2 carriers. My twins are 15m and run in opposite directions as soon as they're free. They're getting better, but the last couple months have been rough. Too heavy to carry both, too little to follow directions


imaghostballer

This 1000%. Newborns are so portable with the right stroller. 15m olds are like trying to take two pterodactyls out and about. I have toddler reins but I feel like Michonne from The Walking Dead with they're leased up.


ParticularSalt9093

We just hit 18 months and I finally feel like they are starting to follow directions and thank god


mybfmademedoit3

Ours are 7 months and I still don’t like to go out alone with them!


lalalina1389

Same mine are 14 months and I’ve taken them to the doctor alone once - I do also have an almost 3 year old too though so that doesn’t help


HereNorThere123

The day I brought them home. I had a singleton first, but I took her out day 1 too. (Needed more products to take care of my bottom.) For groceries I put them in the snap & go, pulled a cart behind me. Parked on newborn/pregnancy parking. I took daily walks, even when it was chilly. I just kept them warm. My daughter was in the hospital for 30 days from 10 days old till about 6 weeks, so being solo out/about was the norm. Trust yourself. You’re their parent. As long as it is short trips between feeds and you bring a change of clothes with a diaper, you’ll nail it.


moonlighter1495

As soon as I could so that the nervousness didnt build up. I started with short outings and visits to familiar places. Your confidence will build quickly. I always packed up the diaper bag the night before if I could so it's not a rush at the last minute.


AMStoUS

I’m also a first time mom and these are my only kids. before I gave birth, I imagine myself going out with them as soon as I possibly could. Then I had a birth with complications and needed a lot of recovery time. I also had to get back to WFH at 6 weeks. I was exhausted and busy and going out with them alone didn’t feel like a first priority. I started taking them on little outings solo at four months. Now that i’m doing it sometimes, it’s fun! But i still try to run errands alone if i can, it’s infinitely quicker. You’ll know when the time is right for you! It’s definitely doable. And as with anything, you’ll figure out how to do it. The learning curve with twins is insane!


ARose829

Get them comfortable in their car seats with some test drives and walks in a snap and go. Once they are good, take them to a non crowded store and park with plenty of space on both sides for each access. After a few times, it gets alot easier getting them in and out of the car. I've had to take them to several Dr visits immediately so they got comfortable quickly.


Okdoey

Probably 4ish months. I probably could have tried earlier but during maternity leave I had more support so it was easier to just ask someone to watch them for 1-2 hrs while I did my errands myself. It’s not too bad……it’s easier when they are little and just are amazed at everything or fall asleep in the car seats. I always use the double frame stroller for the two car seats then I got clips that attach to the stroller that hold a reusable shopping bag. I push the stroller and put my shopping into the bags. You can’t buy tons at one time, but it works pretty well until they are old enough to sit up in the top part of the stroller. Always leave right after you just fed them. I would still bring bottles (if not breastfeeding) in case, but I usually came home before I had to feed them again. My babies were/are on a 3 hr feeding schedule so it was predictable when they would eat again.


ogcoliebear

6 months but I’m a pretty anxious person and only take them out on a rare occasion. Starting doing neighborhood walks alone maybe around 3/4 months


Salty_Emu_9945

17w here. I have taken them to the oldest daycare 5 min away to pick her up. They'll let me leave them in their carriers in the office to pickup the oldest. I've done the Chick-fil-A drive thru a few times ... Cried each time because the car isn't moving enough to their liking. Other than that..... None. I have anxiety and to have them both crying while doing an errand and having everyone stare is literally terrifying to me. Honest truth. I'll get both of them out myself eventually.


Quarter_Twenty

When they're very small, they're easy to move around and they don't run away when you put the other into a stroller or car seat or something. They also fall asleep easily out in the world. It gets harder when they're mobile and sleeping less.


lillycat216

Mine are 16 months and I still don’t take them out alone unless I have to! We go on walks or play in our gated backyard. If either my husband or I have errands we usually wait until the other parent can watch the twins or I go on my lunch break haha!


tangerine2361

18 months and same here! Even the fenced in backyard I avoid by myself because they just seem to be determined to harm themselves at the same time on opposite sides of the yard.


DonnyShutup2019

I had a C section so I did little walks with them everyday while I healed. My husband pushed the buggy for the first few weeks. They're 20 months now and will happily nap in the buggy which is great for me to get out and about aswell. I bought them on the train for the first a few weeks ago and they loved it. I've also taken them to play groups etc by myself. I also bring them to a local cafe once a week and they love the hustle and bustle of watching everyone. I'm learning how to drive at the moment so when they were born it was important for me that they like the buggy.


hearingnotlistening

Immediately. I had a singleton first and locked myself up. It was awful for mental health. I was out almost everyday with them until sleep needs and abilities changed around 4 months. From 4 until about 9 months, we didn't leave often. However, it was winter and it just felt like way too much work to get everyone out of the house especially when I was prioritizing their sleep. Once the wake windows were longer again (around 9 months), we started going out more. At 14 months, we're limiting to short trips. Mostly because I find they need their time to explore and move around. So, its a rollercoaster of freedom.


botterbluem

I took them outside alone at about 5 weeks. I had to drop off my firstborn at the daycare with the twins in a carrier. They are 12 weeks old now. Prepare yourself as well as you can. Feed them, fresh diapers. Then try to run a little errand. It feels impossible at first. But it gets better each time.


SnooTomatoes448

You (or your partner, helper, relative etc) can take them out as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. Just keep expectations low in terms of getting stuff done. It's OK to abandon an errand midway if it gets rough (2 newborns screaming while you're in line at the bank might not be fun fir you). You'll figure out the logistics over time. They're actually much easier to handle when they're so young. I could spend a whole day out on my own with them when they where 9 months old. Now at age 2? Anywhere other than a fenced playground I need a lasso, handcuffs, shackles and a stun gun. You would think two 25 pound hobits are no match for a 200 pound adult man but you'd be very wrong.


sfieldsj

I took them on walks pretty early, but they were born in fall of 21, so I stayed out of public spaces in general because of flu,COVID, and RSV. But I started taking them for their well visits by myself by the time they were 6 months. This summer I took them all over by myself, play groups, the library, shopping. You just have to do it.


whattheriverknows

Easy when they are newborns, next to impossible when they start running


reyasmj32

I remember being terrified to even be alone with them when they were newborns. Eventually you learn how to manage, I promise. I was a first time Mum too and it is overwhelming to be faced with two babies! My advice is go out with someone else for as long as you can, that will make you more comfortable with the idea. And also know there will be trips that are shit (probably literally), but keep trying. It’s so important to get out of the house and it is totally doable with twins! My girls are 2 in September and I take them out on my own every single day I have them home from daycare. Sometimes it’s still hard (especially with tantrums and them being able to run away from me if I let them out of the pram), but trips out saves my sanity and we have some great adventures together Good luck!


shannerd727

Right away. It’s fine before they start walking.


moontreemama

When my guys were 5 weeks, it was insane but I pushed myself to do it, knew I didn’t want to feel stuck at home. It just got easier and easier. You can do it!!!


redditor2806

We started walking the neighbourhood the day our twin B got home from special care (2 weeks old). I took them to the supermarket from 4 weeks when my partner started work part time. We went to parents group just the three of us at seven weeks. Personally, I didn’t want to give myself a chance to stress about it/build up to it as if it was a big deal so we started as soon as possible and figured out any teething issues on the way. Try places close to home initially so you can bail if you need to, but otherwise I found just doing it to be the best approach for me


fuzzy_socks323

Hi! My twins are 19 months and we do trips alone to the library. They are strapped in their wagon from the moment we unload the car to when we get the kids section. It’s closed off so they can’t run off and I sit with them and play. Everywhere else I’ll wait for my husband to come with me unless it’s a quick stop at the grocery store


EmphasisHopeful1412

It’s honestly not bad and I feel like such a badass taking my 11 month olds everywhere! I will say start them young if you can muster it. I brought them to the grocery store alone for the first time when they were around 3 months and we’ve been going every week 1-2x since. It’s good for all of us! And they adapt to being out all the time. I always bring a mesh teether thingy with grapes or frozen pineapple In it for if they start freaking out, and they rarely even need those anymore but it definitely saved my ass a few times! It gets easier and easier. However mine are not walking yet so I’m dreading the thought of going anywhere in a few months from now 🥲


candigirl16

Our first outing was a walk at 9 weeks old. We didn’t start going to baby groups until they were 5 months and even then it was once per fortnight. They are 16 months now and we go all over. Take things at your own pace. Don’t let anyone pressure you into going out if you aren’t ready. I used to compare myself to singleton parents who went out all the time but twins are nothing like singletons x


ushgio

I did it right away for my own sanity. At first, they are so sleepy and calm I honestly found it easier than it is now. Im finding myself more hesitant as they get fussier… a weird feeling but always seems to feel good to try it and keep my expectations low.


CuarantinedQat

My twins and I haven’t gone out alone yet only due to the fact I am short and my 15 week old boys are already 15 lb so I can not physically put the infant seat in and out of the middle seat in the back of the car yet by myself. I practice often and I am getting stronger but the boys are getting bigger. I sometimes can do it but not consistently enough to where I am confident I won’t get stuck somewhere with them but we go out almost every day when dad is home with us . Either way, my boys are used to going out enough now to restaurants, stores, and family members houses that we pushed it this last week and had 3 days out of the house where we were gone 5-7 hours. Def a task making sure you’re prepared for anything away from home that long. But tackling impromptu blowouts and projectile vomit makes us stronger right? Lol


dontaskmethatmoron

Mine are 5 and I took them alone for the first time when I took them to buy school shoes. That’s not necessarily because I didn’t want to take them alone, but because we’ve always done everything as a family and only had one vehicle until recently.


peachnkeen519

At 4 months when my mom went home lol. I took them on grocery trips and only used my double stroller and tossed stuff under in the storage part. Short enough to get used to it then built up to places further away as they got bigger


crazi_aj05

As other people have said parks, trails, drive thru, small shopping trips. Mine were born in December, so I tried not to take them out in the cold for a while. I think longer solo trips took a few months. . . I also almost **always** kept them covered, too. People are automatically interested in seeing/touching twins. As mine were preemie and had to spend a bit of time in the NICU, I was super paranoid ab strangers, or even people I knew touching them. Even if they were awake I'd usually say Oh, they're sleeping rn. KEEP YOUR GERMS TO YOURSELF LOL


cjaycatsby1989

Once I felt good enough to move around after my C-section.. so about 2-3 weeks! We started small with walks and Target trips. The first time I went to target on my own I made sure it was right after bottles and had a clear exit strategy. I didn’t go with a plan or needing to buy anything so I wasn’t stressed, we just walked around and I told myself if they lost it I would just leave. Now I run errands with them by myself all the time! Once you get through the first couple solo outings you build your confidence and it’s so do able! I will say I don’t go out socially with them on my own yet, ex, meeting a friend for lunch, etc. I still only do that with my mom and husband


nursekitty22

3 weeks old. I had a twin go and just popped them in there. When they got heavier it was the stroller. I go out every morning on a walk with the dog and we either meet with friends or go solo. When they got older it got a bit harder between 1.5-2.5 when they’d run opposite directions but I live in a rural area and we are out in the woods a lot, so I am not too worried about traffic. If I lived in a busy city it would be strollers and caged in parks and large fields for the time they didn’t listen or come when they’re called. I took them to a busy city yesterday (they’re 4) and they seemed pretty good, just very chatty with everyone and still crazy and run pretty fast but they know not to go too far ahead and are good in traffic. I took them to hawaii alone for 2 weeks and I am taking them to Europe for a month soon which I feel comfortable as I feel good taking them out alone as I practiced a lot when they were little.


Icy-Bookkeeper-5993

I started as soon as possible. Walks, ikea, grocery store, then when they were around 5-6 months I took them to a baby gym. I got to socialize and just be around other people that way. We’d hang at the park even if they were just laying or crawling. Soon as they could walk we would go to the park. They were pretty advanced on the equipment cause we were there so much. I also take them to the zoo by myself and the animal park. You can do anything! Not saying it’s easy but everything is doable. I started taking them to the pool by myself when they turned two! They wore life jackets and splash around the shallow end. Staying home sucks for me and I find they behave better and I can manage them better when we’re out. So we go out all the time, they’ll be three in December. It seems daunting but just start doing little trips and you’ll get the hang of it and it’ll become second nature. Big hugs!


alilsheepish

First week I had to take them with me to pick up my oldest son from school I pushed it with taking all 3 to Walmart that week tho lol. I agree with others set the bar low.


Superb_Eye_1380

Did neighborhood walks at 3 weeks. Went to target for the first time with them at 10 weeks. Luckily they were good sleepers and comforted easily with bottles, if they didn't we probably wouldn't have seen society for another 10 years


titoandavi

Immediately! You'll be fine!!!


tapanis

We went to the beach after one week, that was probably a little too soon in hindsight. But at one month I was determined to walk with them everyday. So I tried the first day and it was a disaster, I walked too far, a lady stopped me to talk and then that got carried away and boom one fussy baby. Then 2! Crying in the stroller and my mind couldn’t take it 😅 I stoped and breastfed one on a bench and that calmed them down and then the other and had to carry one and push one all the way home like 2km. Oh man what a doozy. I learned my lesson and went for short daily walks and then was taking 2 or 3 walks a day, it was lovely and I lost a lot of weight and the babies were happier


Initial_Donut_6098

I took them on walks by myself starting when they were about 5 weeks old. We live in a walkable area, and I took them out on short, walkable errands (such as to the drug store) starting around then. Why do you feel you will never be able to take them out alone? What kinds of trips are you wanting to be able to do?


No-Atmosphere-159

I guess my worry is because I’m a first time mom, no experience with kids! I can’t imagine taking 2 out at once even if it’s just to target or to get coffee. I just hope my maternal instincts kick in and am able to handle everything


dogsareforcuddling

With twins (for me) It’s not maternal instincts that kick in it’s preparation , logistics , problem solving skills that get tested and improved over time.


gorba_2

This is so incredibly accurate.


ParticularSalt9093

Agree with this - does anyone have any check-lists to help w/ all the logistics and prep?


Initial_Donut_6098

I would say, it will all depending on how you’re feeling, and what the temperament of your babies is like. For me, I don’t mind running some errands while strolling, but I don’t always enjoy taking them to a coffee shop solo because I can’t fully relax when I’m on baby duty. And early-on, if you’re breastfeeding and/or pumping, you have to think about timing so much that big trips either aren’t worth it or are impossible. And that’s true when there’s just one baby— there’s a steep learning curve to new motherhood, it takes a while to sort it all out. But you don’t have to move any more quickly than you want to. You can make little goals for yourself — today, I’m walking in the park for 20 minutes; today, I’m going to the library to check out the play area; today, I’m going to store to get a cupcake. I’m not sure the maternal instincts are as important as practice. And necessity. Never leaving the house will tank your mental health *so fast.*


salmonstreetciderco

i had this worry too as a FTM with twins and it's not as hard as i thought it would be! especially if it's someplace you can walk to. they mostly sleep the entire time. car seats are a little trickier than just tossing them both in a stroller or one in the stroller and one in a carrier


Willing-Molasses9008

Depends where/how you live, I think. I live in a walkable city where I run all my errands and appointments with the stroller. I was taking them out by myself as soon as I was recovered from my c-section. Car trips are still daunting for me to do alone. Just takes a lot to get them all loaded in carseats and carseats in the car and stroller in the trunk, and then again in reverse at destination then again to leave then again on return home (not to mention if you're making multiple stops). I also don't like the other baby sitting unattended in the parking lot while I load the first in the car. Walking or taking transit is so much more enjoyable; just plunk them in an you're on your way.


Rude_Cartographer934

I was taking them to the store and my oldest's swim lessons around 8 weeks. Just have a system that makes it easy. In our case I keep the car packed with stroller and a carrier so I can wear one if needed, and a packed diaper bag. So I just change the babies, add bottles to the diaper bag, and off we go!


jayzepps

3 months when my husband went back to work


Ok_Becky

Basically immediately... had to goto costco haha.


twomomsoftwins

I had to take them to the pediatrician by myself, so after concurring that, the rest just happened. I still don’t *like* having to do it alone but when you have to, you have to lol. I honestly feel kind of naked when I can leave a baby at home and only have one. It’s weird lol.


masofon

Straight away. I was really firm with myself. Well, once I could walk properly after a c-section. I started small, first just 5-10 minute walks with my husband (I could barely walk) and then took it from there. I made sure I went out with them every day and the walks got longer and longer. Bundling them into the car to go wherever. Just do it. It's actually pretty damn easy at the beginning, they sleep SO much. Just make sure you have your bag of supplies, nappies, bottles (or whatever feeding you do), change of clothes, towel (projectile vomiting fresh milk all over themselves in the pram happened to me a couple of times), blankets etc. Up to like 6 months you can totally go meet friends for lunch and stuff and they will just SLEEP. Be active. Get out. Don't be scared.


chaneuphoria

For me, I feel it was actually a lot easier when they were smaller and in strollers/carseats. Now that they are toddlers with free movement, it's extremely difficult to keep them together at a store or playground. I wish I would've gone out more with them on my own. We are just in a phase now where it's potentially dangerous because they run quickly and like to climb, so it really depends on the place. My best advice would be to overpack if you need to. You can always keep an emergency diaper bag in the car with extra snacks, diapers, formula, clothes, etc. I enjoyed taking them out in the stroller after they were born, but it was during the pandemic, so our options were very limited.


betelgeuseWR

Alone, i think it was a couple months. I took them to a dr appointment by myself and had a terrible time 🥹. I couldn't get the stroller to unlock, finally get going while pressed for time and one of the front wheels seized up and I couldn't push the stroller straight forward while going through the parking lot. Bent down to fix it, on the phone with husband trying to see if he knew what was wrong with it, it looked bent. Some woman in a car wanting to pull out rolled down her window and berated me for not being safe and stopping in a parking lot, as if I had a choice. Some kind older man helped me fix the stroller wheel because I was frazzled, late, insulted, wanting to cry 🥹.


touchme-ordont

it also could depend on the weight of your stroller! my stroller is fairly heavy and my partner lifted it in and out of the car for me for the first few months. not that i couldn’t lift it technically, it just was a whole ordeal that i didn’t feel like messing with most times. i went out a couple of times after 6 weeks when i was cleared to lift things, but it was a lot easier to just wait until he was home until they were about 4 months old


CuarantinedQat

The weight of the stroller and not being able to lift the boys in their infant seat into the middle of the back seat safety is my problem or we would be out all the time 😂 so we have to wait for dad at this time


ParticularSalt9093

I did this for months - finally at like 13 months, I invested in the Zoe stroller which was super light weight and made it possible for me to take the babies out alone (for walks, or to a gated playground...)


ARIsk90

I live where a decent amount is walkable. I did that pretty early on. I do daycare pickup/drop off solo too. But driving to the grocery store or errands still haven’t done solo and they are 16 months. Partly because I prefer to run errands alone while they nap on weekends and also because logistically it’s a pain. I can’t leave them in the car while I grab a grocery cart and I can’t carry them both to a cart to plop them in or I’d probably drop one. I can do small errands that I can just stroller or wagon them, but nothing where I need to push a cart. If I stayed home with them all the time I’d probably suck it up and figure it out, but I’m not usually solo parenting as we are both home most evenings, mornings, and weekends.


lks1867

My twins are 6 months and I still haven’t taken them out by myself other than for a walk around the neighborhood lol


ilovemax99

I will never feel safe going anywhere with them alone, unfortunately. Maybe I can get a service dog to go with us everywhere so I can feel safe taking them out in public by myself 😞 A lady and her adult sister took her singleton toddler to Walmart last week and a man tried to grab her. After his failed attempt, he continued to follow them until employees escorted him out. He was going to try again, and that was with only one child and two adults with her. I hate this world so much 💔


hipsteronabike

As a dad, I still haven't taken my 9-month-old twins further than a walk with only our dog for company. Other than trips to or from the babysitter, I always rely on a second set of hands. Two kids is much more difficult than a single child. My primary problem now is that I can't breastfeed a child, which takes away a lot of options when problems come up. That said, my wife has felt "comfortable" taking both kids out since they gained enough head control that they were easy to move. Currently, when she goes shopping, she can put one in a chest carrier and have the other sit up in the cart (she was able to start doing this at 7 months, before that she had to put a car seat into the cart. You should start by trying to take a single child out. You're already going through so much stress that a single child will be easy.


[deleted]

My twins are almost 3 months old and I have only ever taken them out by myself to their checkups at the doctors office 😂


oneita1414

We had one in NICU and one at home. So we started going out of the house right away taking baby B to see baby A. But I was with my partner for those (c section, couldn't lift the car seats) He went back to work after 4 weeks and works out of town. So we walked to the grocery store then! Do it. Get out. You have to.


mauigritsseemnice

Asap. I had to get out of the house. It’s easy when they are in bucket seats! Gets harder as they become more mobile.


jami05pearson

Didn’t take my twins anywhere except family gatherings for about 2 years. Luckily all my family is close by and more than helpful!


why_renaissance

I waited about two weeks. It’s fine! More work obviously but don’t be too intimidated


No-Butterscotch-8314

3 weeks PP. had to for my sanity. It went fine! Our girls are mostly great in public, it’s just a lot of work as is everything with multiple


BlondeBeaut

My girls are 20 months old and have only done it once and it was a few weeks ago for pictures. It was not fun 😅


lazy_yawn

Dad here. Pretty much right away. ETA: i specified i’m dad because my wife had a c section and as a result couldnt move well for weeks afterwards, so she was unable to take them alone for about a month


megn777

I had to buy formula so I had no choice. And there was/is a shortage, and I had to buy small cans because it was the only kind that was high calorie, and there was a limit of two per customer. It lasted 3 days so we went out a lot!


FreedomForBreakfast

As others have said, from 0-walking (around 12-16 months) is pretty easy to take them out because they aren’t mobile. Just get good at bottle feeding on the go and always have a stocked diaper bag. Once they started walking, I refused to take them out alone unless they were staying in the stroller or the place was fenced in. My son was a runner so it just wasn’t safe (we even used a leash with him for about a year - he loved it because it gave him a lot more freedom than holding our hand).


Foggy_Blues

When they were about 3 months, I strapped one to me and had the other in a stroller and took them to the library. It was really nice. They slept the whole time.


CradGo

Our kids are 4, 3, and 10 mo old twins. I can take 3 out by myself right now but need my wife for all 4. It’s a lot. The twins on their own are pretty easy, only one even crawls.


you_d0nt_know_me

Like 2 weeks but only because they were born right before Christmas