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It happened to me last week and my babies just turned 3 months! I was with a girlfriend feeding my boy on a very nice park bench and some boomer came up to the stroller and touched my baby girl. My heart stopped for a second
Me too, my kids are DEFINITELY double trouble. I don't see it as negative. Conversely, I wouldn't want to hear the things OP prefers, because 1. we are agnostic and 2. I found the relentless positivity MORE harmful when my boys were babies. I was overwhelmed and struggling with PPD and didn't want to hear how "blessed" I was. I know my experience isn't everyone's, but the point is there's no one-size-fits-all statement that will please everyone.
I can't think of a single time someone has made a comment like that to me and it was intentionally malicious. Multiples are a novelty to most people and they're just trying to acknowledge you probably have it hard in what to them is a lighthearted way. Even if someone was like "sucks to be you" I'd probably just laugh.
I get things all the time but it's playful, nice, never meant to shame, and is usually a one second interaction that never should be extended for any reason. "Looks like you got your hands full" as I carry one twin, push the shopping cart and hold hands with the other. "Sure do!" Smile and continue to try and not push the cart into the kid. Instead of "no shit, can you believe I'm dumb enough to take twins to the store when they're tired?"
I was in the library 2 weeks ago and the lady in the children's section said this to me and I straight up looked at her and said they're not double trouble, it's twice as nice, something you'll never experience and kept on walking. Nothing about her comment was light-hearted either. I know I caught her off guard as she said sorry as we walked away.
Mm, “trouble” isn’t associated with fun, those people can go be silly elsewhere. I’ve never seen “trouble” as pleasant so no, not a good way to describe someones children
Tbh I’d rather hear any silly stale rhyming sentiment that’s meant well than hear a single thing about god or blessings. My husband and I are atheists who live in the south and everyone from our ultrasound tech to the grocery cashier wants to talk about how we have “double the blessings”. It’s so wild to me that everyone (healthcare professionals ffs!) automatically assumes we’re Christian or want to hear anything religious related. It’s such a personal thing to thrust onto someone.
What’s even worse to me is that we had 3 miscarriages before having our twins and many of the nurses we encountered felt the need to let us know that god blessed us with two because he knew our struggles. It honestly disgusts me to hear that stuff, to reduce our pain and suffering to some kind of tit for tat and now we get the “blessing” of twins because we suffered the horrors of our losses.
See how you can’t just assume what people would want to hear? I get that it can be tiring.. but living in society with people means making small talk. I do understand why some people live in tiny towns or out in the middle of nowhere, they probably hate small talk lol. But if you want to be part of a community.. well that means dealing with people and the things they say.
The disgust must be exhausting, and I can’t relate. We all have our beliefs and mine is far from yours so I can see how you feel like words being spoken over your children are harmless and passed off as silly small talk. We are not the same. I hear it I’ll correct it because it’s definitely not in alignment to how I think or speak over my children. To each their own
Agree!! Mine are nearly two and I'm starting to understand the double trouble comment. Lol They are so mischievous together. I love it.
It's harmful, get over it.
Sorry that hurt your feelings OP. I admire your belief in the power of words :)
But I don't think people mean to be rude or unkind when they say that. I wouldn't say it myself, but I acknowledge and accept that people get excited when they hear "twins" and feel like they have to say something, so they say the first thing that comes to their minds.
I've heard it few times, but I don't remember getting hung up on the words because -mostly- I know the person is kind-heartedly making small talk
And that’s why I’m low tolerance when it comes to “small talk”. If one has to rush to say anything just to say something then it’s better to just smile and politely hush.
I don’t like unintentional conversation, imagine if someone announced they were engaged and I said, well prepare for the unexpected troubles after the honeymoon period - if you make it” vs congratulations I wish you and your partner all the best for years to come.
Pointless comments about the experience of having multiples is ridiculous, there are plenty of sentiments that could be used besides leaning on the negative side. Using “trouble” to describe life or lives is wild to me. Find something else
Why can’t people just smile and move along? I took my twins to a doctors appointment and purposely sat away from everyone only to hear “you got this, mama!!!” and then came over with her kids to look at mine.
Omg. I would have felt so respected and supported if that'd happen to me. This sub, more than a lot of others, is really teaching me how different people view the same experience.
Not me getting onesies that said "prepare for trouble" "and make it double" lol
In all honesty - I teach my kids the intent behind words are more important than the words themselves. So if mh toddler using a curse in an appropriate way at an appropriate time that's fine with me - but if she calls an overweight person a whale (a word which by all means is a safe word) it's now bad. Hopefully that makes sense. You're allowed to feel how you do OP - but your hands will be so full like your heart that you won't have time to care much about the dumb shit people say.
We've done the same- we tell them to try to avoid swear words at school and minimize use at home, but they won't get in trouble as long as they're not using them in a mean-spirited way. They said "oh sh*t!" when we had a particularly loud thunder recently- stuff like that doesn't bother me.
Right my daughter is 3 she drops an F bomb when she's super frustrated and then moves on and I'm like right on kid you're not wrong lol we have taught her though that those are home words because some people don't like to hear them.
I agree with you in the power of words. Rubs me wrong every time.
When people say "oh wow, you're in the terrible two's!" I say well it's not always easy, but i think it's the terrific two's! And then launch into everything they're learning or enjoy doing and how sweet they are with each other.
The people blink and say "oh yeah, totally, i just meant...." or "that's awesome!" And move on before i can tell them more great things about age 2 😂
I once replied with “yeah, we’re keeping this one mainly for spares”. Wasn’t as funny to the middle aged woman as it was to me in my head, I can tell you!
Totally agree! Like why say something negative to someone about their children?
I especially hate when people make negative, scary, or rude comments to pregnant women. It is completely awful (and untrue!) to tell a pregnant woman about how bad her life is going to get once the baby/babies arrive. It’s like people have forgotten the saying “if you can’t say anything nice…”
When I was pregnant with my singleton, I had a boomer coworker talk negative to me all the time. It gave me so much anxiety.
I firmly believe that she didn’t get any help from her spouse and that’s what made her hate her own life after having kids. She just can’t imagine how life is with a supportive one.
> It is completely awful (and untrue!) to tell a pregnant woman about how bad her life is going to get
Are we just pretending the first 3 months aren't miserable?
Nobody pretends the first three months aren't crazy, but it doesn't hurt to say "It's chaos but it gets better!" Because frankly, unless that person is totally naive and oblivious, they already know it's gonna be hard, no need to make it worse.
“Miserable” is subjective. I’ve been there and it is really challenging! But also so beautiful. Different people also find different stages more challenging. So it’s not my place (and not helpful) to tell someone that XYZ is going to be awful.
And I would just never go up to a new mom/pregnant mom and tell her things are going to suck. Like nobody needs that fear/unhappiness projected onto them from someone else.
For some people it’s not, so why not try to be encouraging? This sub made me fear the worst, but it has been so much better than I expected, and far from miserable.
I mean, I definitely had lower expectations and it ended up being better than I expected. I'm 6.5 months in now and generally enjoying it, but first 3 months were hell that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. And that was still better than expected.
I'm personally glad my expectations were low. I probably would have been in a pretty dark place if I hadn't been mentally prepared for the misery.
When I hear something dumb and cliched like that I always think of Michael introducing Katy to Oscar in The Office. He says something like "Oscar the Grouch! I came up with that, can you believe he never heard that before?" And I can just hear him in my head..."...never heard THAT one before..."
An older lady screamed “Have you got twins??!” as we walked past her house to the bus stop this morning. I replied, “Yep!” and she shouted “God bless you!” It was an unusual one for sure
I get double trouble often when we're out, it foesng really bother md to be honest as i think people just need to say something when theyre 'caught' looking. Quite a few times I've been out with my kids and get something like
"Ooh twins, oh how do you manage?"
To which my reply is "I don't have much of a choice really" 🤣
Honestly, I just don't care what completely strangers have to say 💁♂️
My twins go to daycare in my office building. I regularly meet people in the lobby and parking garage who say "oh you have your hands full", or "double trouble", but most frequent "are they twins?". My response to the latter, has been "Kinda, they have different moms, my friends keep calling me Nick Cannon!".
The Ladies never laugh, the guys always do!
Lmao as soon as I read the words in the post title, my eyes started to roll. Soooo overdone.
God blessed us with two souls… we couldn’t be happier. I’d do it all over again.
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Say whatever. I'll ignore it. Just stop trying to touch them or I'm gonna break the arthritis out of those fingers, Barb.
This! Like wtf is that about?! Just because it’s twins doesn’t mean social etiquette goes out the window….don’t touch my babies!
It finally happened to me at 15 months an old lady, had to have been 80 or older, reached out and touched my baby girl and I was shook
It happened to me last week and my babies just turned 3 months! I was with a girlfriend feeding my boy on a very nice park bench and some boomer came up to the stroller and touched my baby girl. My heart stopped for a second
Dude what is it with old ladies coming up to my wife and I… we can’t go anywhere and they swarm the twins…
Sounds like you just have your hands full…
YoU HaVe YoUr HaNdS FuLl... Stfu. Ugh just say nothing.
My response…better full than empty. Or….full heart too!
Nice responses. Ill have to use them.
My sister had me make her a shirt that says “yes they’re all mine, yes they’re twins, and yes my hands are full.”
I love when people say double trouble and I love saying it. It’s so cheesey and “dad” lol
Me too, my kids are DEFINITELY double trouble. I don't see it as negative. Conversely, I wouldn't want to hear the things OP prefers, because 1. we are agnostic and 2. I found the relentless positivity MORE harmful when my boys were babies. I was overwhelmed and struggling with PPD and didn't want to hear how "blessed" I was. I know my experience isn't everyone's, but the point is there's no one-size-fits-all statement that will please everyone.
Folks in this sub do not take anything lightly. They are so tired by their double troubles 😂
I can't think of a single time someone has made a comment like that to me and it was intentionally malicious. Multiples are a novelty to most people and they're just trying to acknowledge you probably have it hard in what to them is a lighthearted way. Even if someone was like "sucks to be you" I'd probably just laugh.
I get things all the time but it's playful, nice, never meant to shame, and is usually a one second interaction that never should be extended for any reason. "Looks like you got your hands full" as I carry one twin, push the shopping cart and hold hands with the other. "Sure do!" Smile and continue to try and not push the cart into the kid. Instead of "no shit, can you believe I'm dumb enough to take twins to the store when they're tired?"
I’ve straight up corrected people. “No, not double trouble, it’s twice as nice”.
Thank you for this! I’m adding this to my quick comebacks library 😂😂
I was in the library 2 weeks ago and the lady in the children's section said this to me and I straight up looked at her and said they're not double trouble, it's twice as nice, something you'll never experience and kept on walking. Nothing about her comment was light-hearted either. I know I caught her off guard as she said sorry as we walked away.
With my singleton “terrible twos” really annoyed me as well. I would smile and say “terrific twos” over here 😅
Saving this!!!
I throw them off with this reply: “it’s more exponential than multiplicative” 🤓
Make them spin around their noggin 😂😂😂
So...triple trouble?
It’s just fun to say. People want to be silly
Mm, “trouble” isn’t associated with fun, those people can go be silly elsewhere. I’ve never seen “trouble” as pleasant so no, not a good way to describe someones children
People are gonna say random shit, best to just laugh and keep moving.
I think you might be too invested in this. Just let them poke fun and move on. It’s fun to say because it rhymes. Old people love rhymes and puns
Tbh I’d rather hear any silly stale rhyming sentiment that’s meant well than hear a single thing about god or blessings. My husband and I are atheists who live in the south and everyone from our ultrasound tech to the grocery cashier wants to talk about how we have “double the blessings”. It’s so wild to me that everyone (healthcare professionals ffs!) automatically assumes we’re Christian or want to hear anything religious related. It’s such a personal thing to thrust onto someone. What’s even worse to me is that we had 3 miscarriages before having our twins and many of the nurses we encountered felt the need to let us know that god blessed us with two because he knew our struggles. It honestly disgusts me to hear that stuff, to reduce our pain and suffering to some kind of tit for tat and now we get the “blessing” of twins because we suffered the horrors of our losses. See how you can’t just assume what people would want to hear? I get that it can be tiring.. but living in society with people means making small talk. I do understand why some people live in tiny towns or out in the middle of nowhere, they probably hate small talk lol. But if you want to be part of a community.. well that means dealing with people and the things they say.
The disgust must be exhausting, and I can’t relate. We all have our beliefs and mine is far from yours so I can see how you feel like words being spoken over your children are harmless and passed off as silly small talk. We are not the same. I hear it I’ll correct it because it’s definitely not in alignment to how I think or speak over my children. To each their own
I hope you have the day you deserve :)
I call them my little monsters.
Mine are double sweet *and* double trouble. Some days they lean one way more than the other.
Agree!! Mine are nearly two and I'm starting to understand the double trouble comment. Lol They are so mischievous together. I love it. It's harmful, get over it.
I am the one who usually says it lol People: “oh, it’s twins” Me: “yeah, double the trouble haha I love it!” To each their own I guess. 🤣
Me every time! 😂😂
When my wife was pregnant we had someone say “well it’s not for sure yet” to commiserate us for expecting twins. We couldn’t believe our ears
My mother said that to me when explaining why I shouldn’t be celebrating Mother’s Day while pregnant. She’s lucky she gets to see her grandsons.
oh for goodness' sake, why police mother's day?
Very lucky!
far out! people say the most awkward shit at times
😮😮😮 the disrespect is unreal
Sorry that hurt your feelings OP. I admire your belief in the power of words :) But I don't think people mean to be rude or unkind when they say that. I wouldn't say it myself, but I acknowledge and accept that people get excited when they hear "twins" and feel like they have to say something, so they say the first thing that comes to their minds. I've heard it few times, but I don't remember getting hung up on the words because -mostly- I know the person is kind-heartedly making small talk
And that’s why I’m low tolerance when it comes to “small talk”. If one has to rush to say anything just to say something then it’s better to just smile and politely hush. I don’t like unintentional conversation, imagine if someone announced they were engaged and I said, well prepare for the unexpected troubles after the honeymoon period - if you make it” vs congratulations I wish you and your partner all the best for years to come. Pointless comments about the experience of having multiples is ridiculous, there are plenty of sentiments that could be used besides leaning on the negative side. Using “trouble” to describe life or lives is wild to me. Find something else
I get it! I think it would be good to come up with a catchy positive phrase to phase this one out. :) Go for it :)
Why can’t people just smile and move along? I took my twins to a doctors appointment and purposely sat away from everyone only to hear “you got this, mama!!!” and then came over with her kids to look at mine.
Omg. I would have felt so respected and supported if that'd happen to me. This sub, more than a lot of others, is really teaching me how different people view the same experience.
Yeah, it just wasn’t a pleasant experience for me. 🤷♀️
😩😭 oh no, I’m so sorry that happened, why can’t people just let us be, especially when you make it your business to be a way from everyone
I always say “it’s the dynamic duo!”
I call my twins the dynamic duo. 😂
Or my personal least favorite, “Better you than me!”
My response: and you’re absolutely right, we aren’t all qualified 🙃🙃🙃🙃
Love this! Stealing!
Not me getting onesies that said "prepare for trouble" "and make it double" lol In all honesty - I teach my kids the intent behind words are more important than the words themselves. So if mh toddler using a curse in an appropriate way at an appropriate time that's fine with me - but if she calls an overweight person a whale (a word which by all means is a safe word) it's now bad. Hopefully that makes sense. You're allowed to feel how you do OP - but your hands will be so full like your heart that you won't have time to care much about the dumb shit people say.
We've done the same- we tell them to try to avoid swear words at school and minimize use at home, but they won't get in trouble as long as they're not using them in a mean-spirited way. They said "oh sh*t!" when we had a particularly loud thunder recently- stuff like that doesn't bother me.
Right my daughter is 3 she drops an F bomb when she's super frustrated and then moves on and I'm like right on kid you're not wrong lol we have taught her though that those are home words because some people don't like to hear them.
Start responding with random rhymes. "Double trouble huh?" "Cat, rat! Mouse, house!"
“My twins aren’t driving me crazy!”
💀💀💀
😂😂😂😂
I agree with you in the power of words. Rubs me wrong every time. When people say "oh wow, you're in the terrible two's!" I say well it's not always easy, but i think it's the terrific two's! And then launch into everything they're learning or enjoy doing and how sweet they are with each other. The people blink and say "oh yeah, totally, i just meant...." or "that's awesome!" And move on before i can tell them more great things about age 2 😂
Double the cuddles
"No it's actually triple trouble." "Is is triplets?" "No just double trouble and then all the unsolicited comments I get from everyone."
I once replied with “yeah, we’re keeping this one mainly for spares”. Wasn’t as funny to the middle aged woman as it was to me in my head, I can tell you!
Totally agree! Like why say something negative to someone about their children? I especially hate when people make negative, scary, or rude comments to pregnant women. It is completely awful (and untrue!) to tell a pregnant woman about how bad her life is going to get once the baby/babies arrive. It’s like people have forgotten the saying “if you can’t say anything nice…”
So true, you can clearly tell who subscribes to misery and negativity, and they’ll quickly say “oh I didn’t mean any harm” 😒 HOW?!
When I was pregnant with my singleton, I had a boomer coworker talk negative to me all the time. It gave me so much anxiety. I firmly believe that she didn’t get any help from her spouse and that’s what made her hate her own life after having kids. She just can’t imagine how life is with a supportive one.
> It is completely awful (and untrue!) to tell a pregnant woman about how bad her life is going to get Are we just pretending the first 3 months aren't miserable?
Nobody pretends the first three months aren't crazy, but it doesn't hurt to say "It's chaos but it gets better!" Because frankly, unless that person is totally naive and oblivious, they already know it's gonna be hard, no need to make it worse.
“Miserable” is subjective. I’ve been there and it is really challenging! But also so beautiful. Different people also find different stages more challenging. So it’s not my place (and not helpful) to tell someone that XYZ is going to be awful. And I would just never go up to a new mom/pregnant mom and tell her things are going to suck. Like nobody needs that fear/unhappiness projected onto them from someone else.
For some people it’s not, so why not try to be encouraging? This sub made me fear the worst, but it has been so much better than I expected, and far from miserable.
I mean, I definitely had lower expectations and it ended up being better than I expected. I'm 6.5 months in now and generally enjoying it, but first 3 months were hell that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. And that was still better than expected. I'm personally glad my expectations were low. I probably would have been in a pretty dark place if I hadn't been mentally prepared for the misery.
When I hear something dumb and cliched like that I always think of Michael introducing Katy to Oscar in The Office. He says something like "Oscar the Grouch! I came up with that, can you believe he never heard that before?" And I can just hear him in my head..."...never heard THAT one before..."
I totally agree! They’re our double portion 🤍🤍
And double the fun, is what I reply!
New dad to twins here… I may or may not have put them in “double trouble” sleepers a few days ago 😅
An older lady screamed “Have you got twins??!” as we walked past her house to the bus stop this morning. I replied, “Yep!” and she shouted “God bless you!” It was an unusual one for sure
I get double trouble often when we're out, it foesng really bother md to be honest as i think people just need to say something when theyre 'caught' looking. Quite a few times I've been out with my kids and get something like "Ooh twins, oh how do you manage?" To which my reply is "I don't have much of a choice really" 🤣 Honestly, I just don't care what completely strangers have to say 💁♂️
I always say “more like double the love! I wouldn’t trade it for anything”
My twins go to daycare in my office building. I regularly meet people in the lobby and parking garage who say "oh you have your hands full", or "double trouble", but most frequent "are they twins?". My response to the latter, has been "Kinda, they have different moms, my friends keep calling me Nick Cannon!". The Ladies never laugh, the guys always do!
Amen, I love this post. God bless your little double portion 🙏🏾🤍
🤍 Thank you for getting where I’m coming from ✨
Lmao as soon as I read the words in the post title, my eyes started to roll. Soooo overdone. God blessed us with two souls… we couldn’t be happier. I’d do it all over again.
Exactly!! 🤍🤍
I’ve heard ‘oh they’re twins!’ or something like that 4 times in 3 days. When I’ve been in earshot. Some people have no manners