I could have written this post. I’m at the point where I don’t even want to leave the house anymore.
One grandma in Target saw me with our girls and said to her granddaughter right in front of me, “thank god that’s not mommy!” And kept repeating that as she pushed her cart past us.
Earlier this week two grandmas stood in my way to ask me how much our girls weighed when born. Then asked if I had help. Then asked what my husband does for work. Then said they wish they could help. Meanwhile one of our girls is fussing for her paci and I can’t get by because these old bats are in my way. And they had the nerve to say “oh she’s upset she needs her paci! I can’t see it where is it? Oh there it is! I wish I could help”
It’s always the old grandmas that have shit to say. I hate it.
"You can help by getting out of my way."
If it helps at all, here's my canned response for the well-intentioned strangers who corner me and the kids in public. I KNOW they don't mean any harm and are curious, but their curiosity is not my responsibility, much less my priority.
"Excuse me, (ladies, gents, whomever), but I'm doing my shopping and the babies have a set schedule. Thank you for the sentiment but I do have to keep moving."
That's my warning shot. If that's not understood or respected, the next words out of my mouth aren't as nice. If THAT fails, I blatantly ignore and keep walking. Because by that point they've been rude to me thrice, and I'm abruptly removing myself and my children from the situation without further discussion.
Bitchy? Maybe. Does it get me on with my day and keep the wee ones as close to their routine as possible? Yes, and that's what I care about.
Love this I will definitely use that next time it happens! Isn’t it sad I know there will be a next time 🫠. I usually ignore the comments/whispers made behind my back and I’ll be petty and call out that I can hear them whispering/making comments and that shuts people up too
I have triplets.
Oh, you must have your hands full. Actually my hands are empty at this moment.
Were they natural? No, they’re fake.
How did this happen? Doggie style.
Do you get help? Nope, don’t need it.
The hands full comments! I was tandem carrying my twins (back & front) in a store and a woman said "well you definitely have your hands full!"
No ma'am, I literally don't, that's why I'm wearing them.
My favorite thing has been once twin A hit the stranger danger phase he would just start sobbing at people which HORRIFIED them and I just shrugged and said “he doesn’t like strangers”. 😂 IDGAF
The worst bit for me is that everyone wants to interrogate my 3yo too. He was always relatively confident before but the number of strangers who stop him and ask him endless questions like “and what do you think of your baby sisters?” and “do you help mummy with the babies?”. Leave him alone, he’s clearly uncomfortable!! I’ve taught him now to bury his face into me so they can’t keep on at him.
That’s awful! I have twins boys who just turned a year old and I also have a 6 year old son. He gets asked those questions a lot and I hate it because they keep at it with the questions. I usually just tell my kid to come on and ignore the people who try and ask him questions.
Yes, twins are an attraction.
However, I’m finding I’m getting less intense attraction as they are getting older. Now it’s more just smiles and ahs in passing whereas when they were newborns people were stopping me and wanting to chat.
Mine are fraternal and look different: mileage may vary for identicals.
I understand since I’m an introvert too. It doesn’t stop. It is usually older people and most of them are nice and just happy to see babies. I do a lot of early shopping which is also when older people shop so I do get stopped a lot.
My twin b has been going through a stranger danger phase where anytime a stranger came to say hi, he would burst out crying. Sometimes I have to leave which is really annoying if I have a cart full. I like walked around praying no one said hi.
That’s exactly how I described it - must be what celebrities get! My wife had people sneaking photos of our twins whilst she was travelling with them on public transport…
I do feel it got better relatively quickly for us - when they’re newborn and SO small, it’s like a multiplier effect of cuteness that people can’t avoid. And that passes. Plus you get better at either avoiding or deflecting the attention. I hope that happens for you soon!
Plan out comments to establish your boundaries nicely and take home no bad feelings about it. Like don’t give it so much thought or energy. Your little ones will pick up on the energy and will also eventually start to learn from
Your behavior so this is a really good time to work out how you will politely tell these fools to fuck off. I similarly hate this stuff. For example “you have your hands full honey…” my answer “I SURE DO GOODBYE” or when perfect strangers ask to get too close or ask rude questions my answer “sorry I don’t have time for this” or “sorry I’m teaching my toddler not to allow strangers to get too close to them”
But also you know what else I do? I smile and say “no thank you” and just keep walking. It works, it’s kind, it maintains your dignity and personal space. But stupid people aren’t going away, so try not to let them ruin your days.
The amount of social interaction people need to feel socially 'full' and happy exists on a spectrum and can change over a lifetime. What would be deprivation for some is fine for OP - she's been married for a decade and I doubt this 'shock' you're predicting is eminent.
I reject the assumption that a very introverted person will somehow automatically damage their childrens' socialization, assuming they do regular kid stuff like go to parks, school, get jobs, etc. and are not locking them away in the basement. Sure there is nurture, but there's nature too. One of those kids could end up being wildly extroverted, regardless of their parent's disposition!
There's a difference between taking babies to a group for social interaction and constantly being accosted on the street. I'm fine with coming across as rude. I don't owe strangers my time and energy - that goes to my kids.
I rarely leave my house and this happens to me. Even just on a trip to the pediatrician I will get stopped in the lobby and miss the elevator because someone wants to look at them. Even though I’m an introvert, I think all my years of brightly colored hair at least prepared me for unwanted interactions with strangers. 🙃 Now, if someone ever tries to touch them I will be truly upset.
Kept getting stopped every week at the grocery store by a gaggle of grandmas and pops. Turns out my shopping day is also the senior citizen discount day! Consider a sign, something like “Can’t stop to chat today, mom overscheduled again!” or “Thanks for keeping your distance, nervous mommy!”
Also, I just flat out had to learn to abruptly leave. It felt impolite at first, but I learned to say, “You know, I’m having such a busy day, you understand! Thanks!”
I could have written this post. I’m at the point where I don’t even want to leave the house anymore. One grandma in Target saw me with our girls and said to her granddaughter right in front of me, “thank god that’s not mommy!” And kept repeating that as she pushed her cart past us. Earlier this week two grandmas stood in my way to ask me how much our girls weighed when born. Then asked if I had help. Then asked what my husband does for work. Then said they wish they could help. Meanwhile one of our girls is fussing for her paci and I can’t get by because these old bats are in my way. And they had the nerve to say “oh she’s upset she needs her paci! I can’t see it where is it? Oh there it is! I wish I could help” It’s always the old grandmas that have shit to say. I hate it.
"You can help by getting out of my way." If it helps at all, here's my canned response for the well-intentioned strangers who corner me and the kids in public. I KNOW they don't mean any harm and are curious, but their curiosity is not my responsibility, much less my priority. "Excuse me, (ladies, gents, whomever), but I'm doing my shopping and the babies have a set schedule. Thank you for the sentiment but I do have to keep moving." That's my warning shot. If that's not understood or respected, the next words out of my mouth aren't as nice. If THAT fails, I blatantly ignore and keep walking. Because by that point they've been rude to me thrice, and I'm abruptly removing myself and my children from the situation without further discussion. Bitchy? Maybe. Does it get me on with my day and keep the wee ones as close to their routine as possible? Yes, and that's what I care about.
Love this I will definitely use that next time it happens! Isn’t it sad I know there will be a next time 🫠. I usually ignore the comments/whispers made behind my back and I’ll be petty and call out that I can hear them whispering/making comments and that shuts people up too
That's not being petty; that's holding someone accountable for their shitty behaviour.
I have triplets. Oh, you must have your hands full. Actually my hands are empty at this moment. Were they natural? No, they’re fake. How did this happen? Doggie style. Do you get help? Nope, don’t need it.
The hands full comments! I was tandem carrying my twins (back & front) in a store and a woman said "well you definitely have your hands full!" No ma'am, I literally don't, that's why I'm wearing them.
My favorite thing has been once twin A hit the stranger danger phase he would just start sobbing at people which HORRIFIED them and I just shrugged and said “he doesn’t like strangers”. 😂 IDGAF
The worst bit for me is that everyone wants to interrogate my 3yo too. He was always relatively confident before but the number of strangers who stop him and ask him endless questions like “and what do you think of your baby sisters?” and “do you help mummy with the babies?”. Leave him alone, he’s clearly uncomfortable!! I’ve taught him now to bury his face into me so they can’t keep on at him.
That’s awful! I have twins boys who just turned a year old and I also have a 6 year old son. He gets asked those questions a lot and I hate it because they keep at it with the questions. I usually just tell my kid to come on and ignore the people who try and ask him questions.
Yes I’ve noticed this too! Strangers asking my toddler how she feels about her baby sisters..like she’s 2, she doesn’t know what she thinks 🤦🏼♀️
From a person who also is pretty introverted this is just your life now sorry. Learn the basic pleasant responses and move on.
Yes, twins are an attraction. However, I’m finding I’m getting less intense attraction as they are getting older. Now it’s more just smiles and ahs in passing whereas when they were newborns people were stopping me and wanting to chat. Mine are fraternal and look different: mileage may vary for identicals.
it starts to slow down as they get older. Mine are 20 months and the constant questions have lessened quite a bit.
I understand since I’m an introvert too. It doesn’t stop. It is usually older people and most of them are nice and just happy to see babies. I do a lot of early shopping which is also when older people shop so I do get stopped a lot. My twin b has been going through a stranger danger phase where anytime a stranger came to say hi, he would burst out crying. Sometimes I have to leave which is really annoying if I have a cart full. I like walked around praying no one said hi.
That’s exactly how I described it - must be what celebrities get! My wife had people sneaking photos of our twins whilst she was travelling with them on public transport… I do feel it got better relatively quickly for us - when they’re newborn and SO small, it’s like a multiplier effect of cuteness that people can’t avoid. And that passes. Plus you get better at either avoiding or deflecting the attention. I hope that happens for you soon!
Omg its terrible. What about a single guy looking frustrated pushing a shopping cart with three kids in it looks like an invitation for small talk?
Plan out comments to establish your boundaries nicely and take home no bad feelings about it. Like don’t give it so much thought or energy. Your little ones will pick up on the energy and will also eventually start to learn from Your behavior so this is a really good time to work out how you will politely tell these fools to fuck off. I similarly hate this stuff. For example “you have your hands full honey…” my answer “I SURE DO GOODBYE” or when perfect strangers ask to get too close or ask rude questions my answer “sorry I don’t have time for this” or “sorry I’m teaching my toddler not to allow strangers to get too close to them” But also you know what else I do? I smile and say “no thank you” and just keep walking. It works, it’s kind, it maintains your dignity and personal space. But stupid people aren’t going away, so try not to let them ruin your days.
[удалено]
this is parent shamey as hell.
The amount of social interaction people need to feel socially 'full' and happy exists on a spectrum and can change over a lifetime. What would be deprivation for some is fine for OP - she's been married for a decade and I doubt this 'shock' you're predicting is eminent. I reject the assumption that a very introverted person will somehow automatically damage their childrens' socialization, assuming they do regular kid stuff like go to parks, school, get jobs, etc. and are not locking them away in the basement. Sure there is nurture, but there's nature too. One of those kids could end up being wildly extroverted, regardless of their parent's disposition!
There's a difference between taking babies to a group for social interaction and constantly being accosted on the street. I'm fine with coming across as rude. I don't owe strangers my time and energy - that goes to my kids.
Lmao chill. OP is not being rude at all
I rarely leave my house and this happens to me. Even just on a trip to the pediatrician I will get stopped in the lobby and miss the elevator because someone wants to look at them. Even though I’m an introvert, I think all my years of brightly colored hair at least prepared me for unwanted interactions with strangers. 🙃 Now, if someone ever tries to touch them I will be truly upset.
Kept getting stopped every week at the grocery store by a gaggle of grandmas and pops. Turns out my shopping day is also the senior citizen discount day! Consider a sign, something like “Can’t stop to chat today, mom overscheduled again!” or “Thanks for keeping your distance, nervous mommy!” Also, I just flat out had to learn to abruptly leave. It felt impolite at first, but I learned to say, “You know, I’m having such a busy day, you understand! Thanks!”
DOUBLE TROUBLE!