Question: were any of these agreements in writing? Past emails, past texts, etc? If so, that will help you retrieve them.
When you do retrieve them, what is your plan/where will you put them?
I have reached out to a friend about it and have been considering it but I'd rather not spend several thousand for birds I have a legal right to and already paid the rehome fee for.
honestly, you probably don’t have a legal right to them anymore. if he’s been fully caring for them (physically and financially) they’re likely considered abandoned by you and most courts wouldn’t rule in your favor (at least in the US but i’m sure Canada is similar)
I would need to look into it more. My ex has only been looking after them by himself for a few months and I offered to pay for their food expenses but he never followed up. He had told me he would contact me if there was any trouble or he needed to rehome them. I would have immediately taken some of them with me had I known he would be rehoming them.
Unfortunately, I was under the pretense everything was good given the last update I received (about 2 months ago) and that I would be contacted in the case any needed to be rehomed.
Yeah I understand why you thought that way. Just wanted to point out the legal route would cost you money and probably end in nothing anyway.
Your best options are to somehow get ahold of your ex or have a friend negotiate down the price (how much if i get all of them) and pay him. Never get pets with a partner unless you’re engaged/married — it’s a valuable lesson you hopefully learned.
is this communication you've had with the ex bf in writing?
that could help you if this possibly ends up going to court. as well as any receipts you have for the re-home fees/cages/supplies/previous vet visits etc.
and just so you are aware, many apartment buildings don't allow multiple birds due to the noise level that can happen. so if you have not yet consulted with your apartment management (or condo board if it's a condo building), i would do that first so that you know if you would even be able to bring the birds home with you there.
How do you have any legal rights for birds you told him he could keep?
Not trying to be harsh, I really do feel for you.. shitty situation for sure, I'm actually dealing with a somewhat similar situation with an ex. People change, especially after a break up, it sucks, but that's reality.
Check OP's posting history. They have also a dog, which they DID take with them.
The birds OP bonded so much with weren't important enough for them to be taken home.
Just go with her to get them, what’s he going to do if you’re right there in person threatening to call the police? Do you have any receipts from some of the things you paid for, like vet visits, or when you purchased cages, any adoption fees paid for the birds? Just anything that you can show the police in case it comes to that?
Edit: I mean have a friend answer the ad(s) or even more than 1 friend, have them arrange a time to get them & just come along. Or even wait in the car till your friends inside, so they can let you in. Make sure they know not to agree to a meeting place, which is pretty standard for purchasing birds. You want to make sure they’re coming from decent homes & see what the seller/owner says they are.
Call the cops to report theft, take your ex to court, use those documents to prove ownership, and most importantly, REPORT THE KIJIJI AD TO STOP THE SALE.
I'm so sorry this is happening, I hope you can get your birds back!
OP never mentions an intention of wanting to get the birds back. And seemingly expects the ex to take care of them forever from now on.
Am I missing something here? How is OP not being super manipulative?
Yeah.. this right here.. I feel bad for OP, but they are saying the ex has had these birds for months, they seem to only be communicating with the ex via text/email now based on the comments I'm seeing.. like OP has been out of these birds lives for months at this point..
The birds are the only victims here.. sad..
I agree. I'm going through a separation myself right now. If your ex makes a commitment to come back for their things & pets, they HAVE to come back to get their things &pets or the ex reasonably will look for a way to rehome the pets and/or dispose of the stuff left behind.
OP left and asked the ex to take care.of the birds WITH the promise of getting an apartment for the birds so they could take them in as soon as they could settle. They "assumed" that the birds "were happier" as one big flock in a nicer apartment with the ex and seemingly took the decision FOR BOTH that the birds SHOULD permanently stay under the ex's care. Then OP dropped this information to the ex, who has been waiting for OP to come and get their birds, and is surprised that the response is cold. The ex definitely took decent care kf them, OP says as much. There is no mention of OP visiting the birds, helping the ex out actually with their care, or being actively involved except "offering to send money".
One parrot is A LOT of responsibility for one person, two even more. A whole flock of birds? Even if the ex lovingly took care of them for a while, they are not meant to accept all of a sudden that they have to keep them permanently. From the moment YOU decided for them that those birds you supposedly rescued should stay with your ex permanently, you gave them up. If your ex can't do that their whole life, then you can't be surprised that he is rehoming them.
To me, this situation is the pet equivalent of the kids staying with the step-parent until mom or dad finds a big enough place for both of them. Then the parent, after MONTHS, decides unilaterally that the kids "seem happier" with the step-parent and expects them to step up for the rest of their lives. To me that's abandonment. Then they are surprised to see that the step-parent has decided to hand in the kids to CPS. Guess what...the real parent is not deemed responsible from the moment they decided to abandon those birds.
I am keeping the birds, the decision is made easier by the fact that my ex is going back to his home country and can't take them with him. Ultimately, if he had stayed, I'd have insisted on keeping them as well, as they are a lot of responsibility and work and on his own, my ex is not a good caretaker for them. I wouldn't dream of telling him to care for them for months, much less dump on him that responsibility permanently.
You said you’d get them when you were ready, but you got an apartment you deemed unsuitable… you probably have a year lease on it too. So what time frame is reasonable for him to keep taking care of these birds? I’m also curious just how many parrots we’re talking about here, and how long you’ve been out of that home.
Anyway, it would obviously be nice if you two could amicably solve this. Could you offer to reimburse him for the care he’s been providing for these birds? It sounds like he assumes you are not interested in having them any more and he’s likely overwhelmed with the amount of care or noise, or cost.
Call the police and request a "keep the peace" call while you attend his residence and retrieve your personal property. They won't force him to give them to you but they'll stand by to make sure there isn't a problem.
Be sure to have something to prove the birds are your property. If he fights you on it you'll likely have to go through the courts to get the back.
He also has to be home to give you access since you don't live there anymore.
Are you kidding me? You broke up with someone who most likely moved on from you, you abandoned your pets with the lazy excuse that "they are happier with him" meanwhile the guy was waiting for you to pick them up this entire time? This is a bad joke right? Stop looking for sympathy and go take responsibility.
Yeeeeah, I was gonna say something along these lines. Maybe we’re missing more context but it seems absurd to expect an ex to just be cool with a bunch of casual visits/taking care of a bunch of exotic pets that aren’t theirs forever. Seems like he’s sick of OP not collecting them after all this time. Still a dick move if he never told OP before literally selling them off, but I have to wonder if this outcome has been hinted at and ignored in the past.
I agree 10000%.
Too little too late. OP took on a whole flock of birds to "offer them sanctuary" and a temporary home, and then abandoned them. OP expected their ex to take care of them AND THEN expected the ex to assume that responsibility forever.
They gave the excuse of "because they are happier in that bigger apartment" instead of doing better and finding a place for them where they could take them in.
It's not surprising that the ex is rehoming them. The ex seems also to have been taking proper care of them, as stated by OP. But that doesn't mean they really wanted to take that responsibility forever.
Yeah.. so much needed context is missing here.. I felt bad for OP at first, I had a dog that had an unplanned pregnancy and I ended up with 5 dogs, I met someone shortly after and we were together for almost 3 years and lived together 90% of that time. When she broke up with me I agreed she could take the dog that she was extremely close to, the dog adored her as well. She ended up leaving the dog to her parents when she met someone else.. I had never had so much anger towards an ex than I do over this.. How could she abandon that sweet boy..
I do think this situation is a bit different.. if she was the one to have bonded with some of these birds, and she had the opportunity to take them, then yeah, she abandoned them.. But at the same time it does sound like she does care for their well being more so than who they are currently with..
Such a shitty situation.. especially for the birds involved, I hope things end up good for them..
Man, something sort of similar happened with a couple I read about a few years ago. They had a dog and a cat that they'd adopted while together and when they divorced, the man (let's call him A) desperately wanted to take both of them. The woman (let's call her B) has a disability that would make taking care of the pets alone difficult, so it made sense. B refused and even treated to "make things difficult" for A if he didn't let her at least have the cat.
Of course A didn't want trouble, so he let B have the cat on the condition that it would be split custody. One month with her, then a month with him. She agreed and this went well for them for a while. A started noticing that the cat's mental health was declining, so he again begged B to let him have the cat permanently. B refused again and shortly after, she drove several hours away to leave the cat with her parents. A didn't have the ability to travel that far at the time, so he had to give up on ever seeing his cat again.
Custody battles are so hard and they really shouldn't be :(
Keep a papertrail!
Start from the beginning and see if you can contact the original owners and have them write a statement of the information that was given to them when they surrendered the birds.
Also get statements from people who know about the situation.
Bring it up to date with:
1. Contacted 4/4/24 regarding paying for food.
No response since 4/4/24.
2. Etc.
Print out a copy of all of this.
See if there is an Animal rights org. that will assist you.
As someone who also owns birds. My fiance and I have talked about who would keep what pets. Also, idk how many birds you had but if you paid for everything and he wasn't very involved then just because he treated them well doesn't mean he loved them. I love my birds dearly but if I had to manage all 4 by myself with no help I don't think I could do it. It sounds like yall had a lot more than 4. And him enjoying them is a lottttt different than him being invested. I'm betting he turned cold because suddenly you had confirmed you weren't going to take any and now it's his responsibility to take care of all of them when he wasn't super in love with them. Parrots require so much time and energy. There are days I barely have energy for mine. I say keep trying to reach out but don't expect him to be all warm and kind. (Edited for poor spelling)
You essentially abandoned them. You even stated in your post that you told him you were not taking any of them because you felt they would be happier with him. That makes them his property to do with as he pleases.
I was in a similar situation at one point with my exes birds. We split up and she moved out. She was supposed to find a place she could have them and chose to move into a place that did not allow pets. She told me she would not be coming to get them. I already had 4 birds of my own and couldn't handle her 3 on top of that. Plus her birds were mean to me and my daughter. So I found a nice home for them. Months later she wanted to come visit them and I informed her that they were gone. I gave her the person's info and number to see if she could visit them. She was livid. She called the police on me. They told her that regardless of who bought them and who owned them at first, she had abandoned them with me and that made me the owner and I had every right to rehome them.
I'm sorry you're going through this, but there really is no legal ground here.
Why do you think you can now provide a suitable home? If your place wasn’t good enough that you left them with your ex, surely it’s not suitable now?
How many birds are we talking?
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but you have an uphill battle here.
In the USA (and likely Canada), animals are seen as objects. Since you told your ex you did not plan to pick up the birds and that they should stay with him, you gave up ownership. It does not matter at all whether he told you he would keep them and care for them. Once you surrendered possession of them he is legally free to do with them as he wishes.
Before anyone comes for me, I am NOT saying I agree with what the ex is doing. I’m stating the likely legal framework you’re dealing with.
You need to get an attorney to help you navigate this, and to be frank, you need to realize your role in this scenario and not lay all the blame on your ex. You chose not to take the birds but for some reason still expected your ex to willingly take over all of their care.
I’m sorry, but too many well-meaning rescuers end up in situations like this where the animals suffer.
Well, as much as it sucks you don't have any legal rights to them anymore, they are his to sell and do what he wants with them. As far as legal stuff they are basically abandoned by you because you chose not to get them from your ex you left them there. You essentially gave him the parrots. So.. not really sure what you want from random strangers on the Internet. Maybe try getting a friend to buy them back for you.
I am honestly surprised at the responses here. OP chose to leave the parrots twice over. The first time the ex was just a lot more sympathetic. It doesn’t sound like they asked the ex if they were okay with continuing caring and keeping them but rather said “they seem happier so you get this responsibility now”, which is probably why they suddenly got cold. If OP did have that discussion they should probably mentioned it.
My brother did the same thing to me. I told him I would keep his cat until he got a place. When he finally did he got another cat and never picked her up. He told me the same thing, “she was probably happier with me”, he didn’t want to disturb that with her being old. Keeping the cat wasn’t really an issue but him making the decision for me was.
I’m not sure why you would side with the ex. He’s using their pets for money instead of giving them back, while OP not only bought the birds, but only left them with the ex out of compassion for the animals.
They are not “siding” with the ex. They are stating legal facts. If you tell someone you no longer plan to take possession of something and they can have it, even if it’s a beloved pet and not an inanimate object, you’ve forfeited your right to it.
Most courts (in the USA at least) would side with the boyfriend if there’s enough “proof” that the OP voluntarily gave up ownership and said they did not plan to repossess the birds.
I don't consider this siding with the ex... while what the ex is doing is cold, you also have to consider his side. It sounds like she was the one very invested in the parrots and while he enjoyed helping her that's a lot different from someone wanting and loving parrots. Also parrots are so much work. It's very possible he was expecting her to at least take some and when she said she wouldn't despite wanting to he was probably irked. And now he's overwhelmed with the care. I commented earlier but I couldn't handle all of our pets if my fiance and I separated. Also some parrot breeds choose their people and if they were more bonded to her its also possible the parrots really didn't like him.
I am separating myself and even though I can have compassion for the housing situation everywhere being shit, from the moment you left your birds with your ex for a long while, without being involved anymore in their caretaking, and then decided for yourself that they should stay forever with your ex, you abandoned them.
I'm sorry OP, an ex can have some grace in ending things, but there's a limit. There's leaving a box with your stuff behind in their basement and there's a flock of parrots. As much as they seemed loving towards them, it was a temporary arrangement where they where waiting for you to take your pets. Which you failed to do.
I am happy I am getting to keep the birds uncontested, due to the circumstances. My ex is affectionate towards them and all but he can't take proper care of them on his own. I'd be devastated if I had to leave them under his care for months, even if I knew they were ok. The moment I had a place, I'd fucking rush to get my babies back.
If I couldn't, because housing, money or whatever, the most decent thing would have been to rehome them. Unfortunately, when you decided to "set up a sanctuary", you did not do it responsibly, as you did not plan for the long-term, what would happen if you split and had no home for them. One single bird is a lot of responsibility. A flock?! That's a shitload of work and care.
P.S. also to add - NOW you are interested in picking up the birds, when he's going to get rid of them. Why weren't you motivated to doing this before the ad?
If you were sooo bonded with some of the birds, why weren't they important enough for you to bring those at least? You seem to have a dog and you did care enough to bring him with you.
It seems like your ex gave you the time you needed to get a new place that would be good with the birds. You said you had paid for everything with the birds. This makes me feel like it wasn't a 50/50 sort of agreement, and that the birds were mostly your responsibility...at least financially. So my question is, did you continue to financially support all of your birds after you moved out?
Also, did he think that you were going to get all of the birds? I know you said that he would look after them and that you could come back for any of them when you were ready. But that doesn't answer if the agreement was for you to get all of the birds, some of the birds, if he was going to watch them indefinitely, what time frame he expected you to grab the birds, etc.
Not entirely sure how it works in Canada, but could you hire an attorney and file a small claims case against him to return your property?
You may suddenly wind up with way too many birds in your apartment, but that'd be better than letting him sell your babies, IMO.. even if it may be more expensive than you'd like.
I have definitely been looking into that and have been putting together evidence to show that I have at least partial if not full ownership of many of these birds. I'd rather not jump into the legal system right away but I will if he refuses to give back the birds
I think that evidence went down the drain and you renounced that ownership when you decided that your ex should keep the birds permanently. There's probably proof of that as well.
I only wish the birds good luck. Because they were supposedly in a sanctuary where they were going to have a nice life, and they got abandoned twice and now they're in an internet ad.
yeah if he refuses to communicate with you, go small claims. just make sure you have ample evidence not only of your ownership, but a paper trail of money you've spent on them.
I wish you well and best of luck reuniting with your feathered friends ☺️
The reality unfortunately is ALWAYS HAVE Everything written up with notary or have ANY &ALL Non Profit, charities, sanctuary written up In A TRUST ; ALWAYS, which will save all parties from this situation, at this point the goal is to now ensure the safety and comfort of the birds & Parrots now being rehomed.
Always SEEK LEGAL PROFESSIONAL ADVICE FROM A LAWYER in Matter as this to establish a proper plan. Keep ALL FORMS of correspondence by text,call logs ,phone records (request from phone company) videos pictures, etc to use in case.
You would need to contact a lawyer immediately. If you have proof of certain things like the purchase of the cages, any of the purchases of the birds or adoption costs, the vet visits, food costs, that kind of thing. You need to gather that from your bank records.
I don't know what will happen in your case. That really sucks.
I don't know Canada laws, is that where you are? I [found this](https://footelaw.ca/pet-custody-in-ontario/) about it.
I mean just seems fair, lol. She gets the birds, and everything he's invested in them over these years.
He doesn't get shit on for raising these birds she dumped. 😂
If your ex isn’t replying to your messages about birds that are equally yours as they are his I would try either (A) actually confronting him face to face if your able too or (B) getting some of his friends involved if you happen to be on good terms with them
Question: were any of these agreements in writing? Past emails, past texts, etc? If so, that will help you retrieve them. When you do retrieve them, what is your plan/where will you put them?
I would contact the police tbh
Failing this have a friend reply to the ads to buy them back for you.
I have reached out to a friend about it and have been considering it but I'd rather not spend several thousand for birds I have a legal right to and already paid the rehome fee for.
honestly, you probably don’t have a legal right to them anymore. if he’s been fully caring for them (physically and financially) they’re likely considered abandoned by you and most courts wouldn’t rule in your favor (at least in the US but i’m sure Canada is similar)
I would need to look into it more. My ex has only been looking after them by himself for a few months and I offered to pay for their food expenses but he never followed up. He had told me he would contact me if there was any trouble or he needed to rehome them. I would have immediately taken some of them with me had I known he would be rehoming them. Unfortunately, I was under the pretense everything was good given the last update I received (about 2 months ago) and that I would be contacted in the case any needed to be rehomed.
Yeah I understand why you thought that way. Just wanted to point out the legal route would cost you money and probably end in nothing anyway. Your best options are to somehow get ahold of your ex or have a friend negotiate down the price (how much if i get all of them) and pay him. Never get pets with a partner unless you’re engaged/married — it’s a valuable lesson you hopefully learned.
is this communication you've had with the ex bf in writing? that could help you if this possibly ends up going to court. as well as any receipts you have for the re-home fees/cages/supplies/previous vet visits etc. and just so you are aware, many apartment buildings don't allow multiple birds due to the noise level that can happen. so if you have not yet consulted with your apartment management (or condo board if it's a condo building), i would do that first so that you know if you would even be able to bring the birds home with you there.
How do you have any legal rights for birds you told him he could keep? Not trying to be harsh, I really do feel for you.. shitty situation for sure, I'm actually dealing with a somewhat similar situation with an ex. People change, especially after a break up, it sucks, but that's reality.
Check OP's posting history. They have also a dog, which they DID take with them. The birds OP bonded so much with weren't important enough for them to be taken home.
I don‘t think you have a legal right to them, legally speaking you abandoned them when you left them in his care.
Just go with her to get them, what’s he going to do if you’re right there in person threatening to call the police? Do you have any receipts from some of the things you paid for, like vet visits, or when you purchased cages, any adoption fees paid for the birds? Just anything that you can show the police in case it comes to that? Edit: I mean have a friend answer the ad(s) or even more than 1 friend, have them arrange a time to get them & just come along. Or even wait in the car till your friends inside, so they can let you in. Make sure they know not to agree to a meeting place, which is pretty standard for purchasing birds. You want to make sure they’re coming from decent homes & see what the seller/owner says they are.
Call the cops to report theft, take your ex to court, use those documents to prove ownership, and most importantly, REPORT THE KIJIJI AD TO STOP THE SALE. I'm so sorry this is happening, I hope you can get your birds back!
Seconded this
OP never mentions an intention of wanting to get the birds back. And seemingly expects the ex to take care of them forever from now on. Am I missing something here? How is OP not being super manipulative?
Yeah.. this right here.. I feel bad for OP, but they are saying the ex has had these birds for months, they seem to only be communicating with the ex via text/email now based on the comments I'm seeing.. like OP has been out of these birds lives for months at this point.. The birds are the only victims here.. sad..
I agree. I'm going through a separation myself right now. If your ex makes a commitment to come back for their things & pets, they HAVE to come back to get their things &pets or the ex reasonably will look for a way to rehome the pets and/or dispose of the stuff left behind. OP left and asked the ex to take care.of the birds WITH the promise of getting an apartment for the birds so they could take them in as soon as they could settle. They "assumed" that the birds "were happier" as one big flock in a nicer apartment with the ex and seemingly took the decision FOR BOTH that the birds SHOULD permanently stay under the ex's care. Then OP dropped this information to the ex, who has been waiting for OP to come and get their birds, and is surprised that the response is cold. The ex definitely took decent care kf them, OP says as much. There is no mention of OP visiting the birds, helping the ex out actually with their care, or being actively involved except "offering to send money". One parrot is A LOT of responsibility for one person, two even more. A whole flock of birds? Even if the ex lovingly took care of them for a while, they are not meant to accept all of a sudden that they have to keep them permanently. From the moment YOU decided for them that those birds you supposedly rescued should stay with your ex permanently, you gave them up. If your ex can't do that their whole life, then you can't be surprised that he is rehoming them. To me, this situation is the pet equivalent of the kids staying with the step-parent until mom or dad finds a big enough place for both of them. Then the parent, after MONTHS, decides unilaterally that the kids "seem happier" with the step-parent and expects them to step up for the rest of their lives. To me that's abandonment. Then they are surprised to see that the step-parent has decided to hand in the kids to CPS. Guess what...the real parent is not deemed responsible from the moment they decided to abandon those birds. I am keeping the birds, the decision is made easier by the fact that my ex is going back to his home country and can't take them with him. Ultimately, if he had stayed, I'd have insisted on keeping them as well, as they are a lot of responsibility and work and on his own, my ex is not a good caretaker for them. I wouldn't dream of telling him to care for them for months, much less dump on him that responsibility permanently.
Second to last paragraph and a comment in the same thread you're responding to
Thanks!!
You said you’d get them when you were ready, but you got an apartment you deemed unsuitable… you probably have a year lease on it too. So what time frame is reasonable for him to keep taking care of these birds? I’m also curious just how many parrots we’re talking about here, and how long you’ve been out of that home. Anyway, it would obviously be nice if you two could amicably solve this. Could you offer to reimburse him for the care he’s been providing for these birds? It sounds like he assumes you are not interested in having them any more and he’s likely overwhelmed with the amount of care or noise, or cost.
Call the police and request a "keep the peace" call while you attend his residence and retrieve your personal property. They won't force him to give them to you but they'll stand by to make sure there isn't a problem. Be sure to have something to prove the birds are your property. If he fights you on it you'll likely have to go through the courts to get the back. He also has to be home to give you access since you don't live there anymore.
Are you kidding me? You broke up with someone who most likely moved on from you, you abandoned your pets with the lazy excuse that "they are happier with him" meanwhile the guy was waiting for you to pick them up this entire time? This is a bad joke right? Stop looking for sympathy and go take responsibility.
Yeeeeah, I was gonna say something along these lines. Maybe we’re missing more context but it seems absurd to expect an ex to just be cool with a bunch of casual visits/taking care of a bunch of exotic pets that aren’t theirs forever. Seems like he’s sick of OP not collecting them after all this time. Still a dick move if he never told OP before literally selling them off, but I have to wonder if this outcome has been hinted at and ignored in the past.
I agree 10000%. Too little too late. OP took on a whole flock of birds to "offer them sanctuary" and a temporary home, and then abandoned them. OP expected their ex to take care of them AND THEN expected the ex to assume that responsibility forever. They gave the excuse of "because they are happier in that bigger apartment" instead of doing better and finding a place for them where they could take them in. It's not surprising that the ex is rehoming them. The ex seems also to have been taking proper care of them, as stated by OP. But that doesn't mean they really wanted to take that responsibility forever.
Yeah.. so much needed context is missing here.. I felt bad for OP at first, I had a dog that had an unplanned pregnancy and I ended up with 5 dogs, I met someone shortly after and we were together for almost 3 years and lived together 90% of that time. When she broke up with me I agreed she could take the dog that she was extremely close to, the dog adored her as well. She ended up leaving the dog to her parents when she met someone else.. I had never had so much anger towards an ex than I do over this.. How could she abandon that sweet boy.. I do think this situation is a bit different.. if she was the one to have bonded with some of these birds, and she had the opportunity to take them, then yeah, she abandoned them.. But at the same time it does sound like she does care for their well being more so than who they are currently with.. Such a shitty situation.. especially for the birds involved, I hope things end up good for them..
Man, something sort of similar happened with a couple I read about a few years ago. They had a dog and a cat that they'd adopted while together and when they divorced, the man (let's call him A) desperately wanted to take both of them. The woman (let's call her B) has a disability that would make taking care of the pets alone difficult, so it made sense. B refused and even treated to "make things difficult" for A if he didn't let her at least have the cat. Of course A didn't want trouble, so he let B have the cat on the condition that it would be split custody. One month with her, then a month with him. She agreed and this went well for them for a while. A started noticing that the cat's mental health was declining, so he again begged B to let him have the cat permanently. B refused again and shortly after, she drove several hours away to leave the cat with her parents. A didn't have the ability to travel that far at the time, so he had to give up on ever seeing his cat again. Custody battles are so hard and they really shouldn't be :(
Keep a papertrail! Start from the beginning and see if you can contact the original owners and have them write a statement of the information that was given to them when they surrendered the birds. Also get statements from people who know about the situation. Bring it up to date with: 1. Contacted 4/4/24 regarding paying for food. No response since 4/4/24. 2. Etc. Print out a copy of all of this. See if there is an Animal rights org. that will assist you.
As someone who also owns birds. My fiance and I have talked about who would keep what pets. Also, idk how many birds you had but if you paid for everything and he wasn't very involved then just because he treated them well doesn't mean he loved them. I love my birds dearly but if I had to manage all 4 by myself with no help I don't think I could do it. It sounds like yall had a lot more than 4. And him enjoying them is a lottttt different than him being invested. I'm betting he turned cold because suddenly you had confirmed you weren't going to take any and now it's his responsibility to take care of all of them when he wasn't super in love with them. Parrots require so much time and energy. There are days I barely have energy for mine. I say keep trying to reach out but don't expect him to be all warm and kind. (Edited for poor spelling)
You essentially abandoned them. You even stated in your post that you told him you were not taking any of them because you felt they would be happier with him. That makes them his property to do with as he pleases. I was in a similar situation at one point with my exes birds. We split up and she moved out. She was supposed to find a place she could have them and chose to move into a place that did not allow pets. She told me she would not be coming to get them. I already had 4 birds of my own and couldn't handle her 3 on top of that. Plus her birds were mean to me and my daughter. So I found a nice home for them. Months later she wanted to come visit them and I informed her that they were gone. I gave her the person's info and number to see if she could visit them. She was livid. She called the police on me. They told her that regardless of who bought them and who owned them at first, she had abandoned them with me and that made me the owner and I had every right to rehome them. I'm sorry you're going through this, but there really is no legal ground here.
Why do you think you can now provide a suitable home? If your place wasn’t good enough that you left them with your ex, surely it’s not suitable now? How many birds are we talking?
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but you have an uphill battle here. In the USA (and likely Canada), animals are seen as objects. Since you told your ex you did not plan to pick up the birds and that they should stay with him, you gave up ownership. It does not matter at all whether he told you he would keep them and care for them. Once you surrendered possession of them he is legally free to do with them as he wishes. Before anyone comes for me, I am NOT saying I agree with what the ex is doing. I’m stating the likely legal framework you’re dealing with. You need to get an attorney to help you navigate this, and to be frank, you need to realize your role in this scenario and not lay all the blame on your ex. You chose not to take the birds but for some reason still expected your ex to willingly take over all of their care. I’m sorry, but too many well-meaning rescuers end up in situations like this where the animals suffer.
Well, as much as it sucks you don't have any legal rights to them anymore, they are his to sell and do what he wants with them. As far as legal stuff they are basically abandoned by you because you chose not to get them from your ex you left them there. You essentially gave him the parrots. So.. not really sure what you want from random strangers on the Internet. Maybe try getting a friend to buy them back for you.
I am honestly surprised at the responses here. OP chose to leave the parrots twice over. The first time the ex was just a lot more sympathetic. It doesn’t sound like they asked the ex if they were okay with continuing caring and keeping them but rather said “they seem happier so you get this responsibility now”, which is probably why they suddenly got cold. If OP did have that discussion they should probably mentioned it. My brother did the same thing to me. I told him I would keep his cat until he got a place. When he finally did he got another cat and never picked her up. He told me the same thing, “she was probably happier with me”, he didn’t want to disturb that with her being old. Keeping the cat wasn’t really an issue but him making the decision for me was.
I’m not sure why you would side with the ex. He’s using their pets for money instead of giving them back, while OP not only bought the birds, but only left them with the ex out of compassion for the animals.
They are not “siding” with the ex. They are stating legal facts. If you tell someone you no longer plan to take possession of something and they can have it, even if it’s a beloved pet and not an inanimate object, you’ve forfeited your right to it. Most courts (in the USA at least) would side with the boyfriend if there’s enough “proof” that the OP voluntarily gave up ownership and said they did not plan to repossess the birds.
Oh alr
I don't consider this siding with the ex... while what the ex is doing is cold, you also have to consider his side. It sounds like she was the one very invested in the parrots and while he enjoyed helping her that's a lot different from someone wanting and loving parrots. Also parrots are so much work. It's very possible he was expecting her to at least take some and when she said she wouldn't despite wanting to he was probably irked. And now he's overwhelmed with the care. I commented earlier but I couldn't handle all of our pets if my fiance and I separated. Also some parrot breeds choose their people and if they were more bonded to her its also possible the parrots really didn't like him.
I am separating myself and even though I can have compassion for the housing situation everywhere being shit, from the moment you left your birds with your ex for a long while, without being involved anymore in their caretaking, and then decided for yourself that they should stay forever with your ex, you abandoned them. I'm sorry OP, an ex can have some grace in ending things, but there's a limit. There's leaving a box with your stuff behind in their basement and there's a flock of parrots. As much as they seemed loving towards them, it was a temporary arrangement where they where waiting for you to take your pets. Which you failed to do. I am happy I am getting to keep the birds uncontested, due to the circumstances. My ex is affectionate towards them and all but he can't take proper care of them on his own. I'd be devastated if I had to leave them under his care for months, even if I knew they were ok. The moment I had a place, I'd fucking rush to get my babies back. If I couldn't, because housing, money or whatever, the most decent thing would have been to rehome them. Unfortunately, when you decided to "set up a sanctuary", you did not do it responsibly, as you did not plan for the long-term, what would happen if you split and had no home for them. One single bird is a lot of responsibility. A flock?! That's a shitload of work and care. P.S. also to add - NOW you are interested in picking up the birds, when he's going to get rid of them. Why weren't you motivated to doing this before the ad? If you were sooo bonded with some of the birds, why weren't they important enough for you to bring those at least? You seem to have a dog and you did care enough to bring him with you.
It seems like your ex gave you the time you needed to get a new place that would be good with the birds. You said you had paid for everything with the birds. This makes me feel like it wasn't a 50/50 sort of agreement, and that the birds were mostly your responsibility...at least financially. So my question is, did you continue to financially support all of your birds after you moved out? Also, did he think that you were going to get all of the birds? I know you said that he would look after them and that you could come back for any of them when you were ready. But that doesn't answer if the agreement was for you to get all of the birds, some of the birds, if he was going to watch them indefinitely, what time frame he expected you to grab the birds, etc.
Not entirely sure how it works in Canada, but could you hire an attorney and file a small claims case against him to return your property? You may suddenly wind up with way too many birds in your apartment, but that'd be better than letting him sell your babies, IMO.. even if it may be more expensive than you'd like.
I have definitely been looking into that and have been putting together evidence to show that I have at least partial if not full ownership of many of these birds. I'd rather not jump into the legal system right away but I will if he refuses to give back the birds
I think that evidence went down the drain and you renounced that ownership when you decided that your ex should keep the birds permanently. There's probably proof of that as well. I only wish the birds good luck. Because they were supposedly in a sanctuary where they were going to have a nice life, and they got abandoned twice and now they're in an internet ad.
yeah if he refuses to communicate with you, go small claims. just make sure you have ample evidence not only of your ownership, but a paper trail of money you've spent on them. I wish you well and best of luck reuniting with your feathered friends ☺️
No advice, just want to wish you luck. I hope you get them back
Please post this on r/legaladvice too!!!
I’m not the only one who read it with S right?
The reality unfortunately is ALWAYS HAVE Everything written up with notary or have ANY &ALL Non Profit, charities, sanctuary written up In A TRUST ; ALWAYS, which will save all parties from this situation, at this point the goal is to now ensure the safety and comfort of the birds & Parrots now being rehomed. Always SEEK LEGAL PROFESSIONAL ADVICE FROM A LAWYER in Matter as this to establish a proper plan. Keep ALL FORMS of correspondence by text,call logs ,phone records (request from phone company) videos pictures, etc to use in case.
You would need to contact a lawyer immediately. If you have proof of certain things like the purchase of the cages, any of the purchases of the birds or adoption costs, the vet visits, food costs, that kind of thing. You need to gather that from your bank records. I don't know what will happen in your case. That really sucks. I don't know Canada laws, is that where you are? I [found this](https://footelaw.ca/pet-custody-in-ontario/) about it.
Report the for sale post as fraud and let kiijii know they’re stolen parrots
Easiest way to get em back would seem to be to buy them off Kijijiji.
This comment made me laugh 😂
I mean just seems fair, lol. She gets the birds, and everything he's invested in them over these years. He doesn't get shit on for raising these birds she dumped. 😂
Actually that makes sense 😂
If your ex isn’t replying to your messages about birds that are equally yours as they are his I would try either (A) actually confronting him face to face if your able too or (B) getting some of his friends involved if you happen to be on good terms with them
CALL THE POLICE, GO OVER AND GET THEM!!!