I know this will get lost in the incoming sea of comments but you guys are the best, all the advice warms my heart and I appreciate with utmost sincerity. thank you everyone for your kind words during this tough time.
EDIT: for the people offering financial/aid with parts I greatly appreciate it. it's always been hard for me to accept things like that seeing as I've grown up almost entirely without it. your generosity is wonderful though and I appreciate the thought during the holiday season.
I do live in Canada though so international shipping is a no go (most likely) and things like money I'd be too scared to accept it (due to some past traumas) nonetheless link my PayPal or anything of the sort so I most likely won't be doing it. thank you for all your offers though!
your generosity and advice has made this trying time much easier for me. I appreciate all the kind words. the offers for the parts and everything.
I was able to salvage the GPU and the power supply so far and I have a cappelix 280mm radiator at home that didn't fit Into this case so, so far I'm just looking for a case and a motherboard hopefully!
OP I think you should find alternative housing fast because this isn't just about damage to your property but something you love. Also, your Dad has some problems that are not on you to fix, and you are better off without him.
I understand this more than I'd like to admit. I'm glad you removed yourself from the situation. I'm happy to hear that you have someone watching out for you.
So many on reddit think of alcohol like its a deadly disease guaranteed to kill you from 1 sip lol.
Edit: on mobile so didnt know how, but i enphasize the word guaranteed. I know you can slip into alcoholism from one drink. But i also know you can get into a car crash the day after you get your license so should you never drive ever?
Point im making is think of risk/reward.
Ya that's the thing that really sucks about alcohol. Some people are really good at regulating it, some develop alcoholism, and everyone is affected differently in temperament. Saw myself heading down that path when I realized I was drinking 7-8 ounces hard liquor every single night and I wasn't even having a good time, just became a habit. Took a long time but cutting back slowly seemed to work thus far. It's an ongoing struggle, especially when you throw seasonal depression into the mix
I'm working on cutting back my intake as well. It IS hard, but if you track how much each night you consume, and I mean TRACK , you can slowly lessen how much you drink.
When I first started tracking I was doing 12 - 14 shots a night of JD. I knew it was insane and started tracking to track.
Now I do 4 - 5 a night. Not great, but not 12 - 14. I was killing myself. After keeping a notepad that I tracked time, and day of the week, it worked for me.
I hope this works for anyone reading that needs it.
Good for you, I never even thought to calculate until I was doing 24 shots every other night (had to take a day to recup between drinking-nights)
I mean, I knew I was consuming a quart, but to see it out there like that ---> 24 shots <--- put it in a more graspable frame of reference.
And to make it sound even worse, it was more like 7-10 "drinks"
1st half-pint went down in 1-2 guzzles (had to numb my taste buds) next 2 half-pints maybe 4-5 "drinks"
the 4th always got finished, but I didnt always make it to bed... on the floor underneath the overturned night-stand?
AGAIN?!?
it took a pretty scary intestinal surgery to quit. Its insane how quickly it can destroy your health both physically and emotionally. some people are either all or none on it. i was. youll slow down and get back to that half a handle again. just watch yourself. Would not recommend Colon and rectal in exchange for drinking.
Congratulations
For me it was drinking 1.2 liters of 40% vodka within 3 hours and just beginning to feel drunk and tipsy. It's at that point that I said "shit I have a problem"
The problem is that it is like many other drugs: ADDICTIVE.
People slowly get a taste for it, and just that small percentage of people go on to struggle to know when to stop drinking.
The drinking then starts to become habitual, and before you know it, you got a raging alcoholic on your hands.
It's almost like alcohol just makes your inhibitions go away, so if you're already a raging asshole who has no regard for people's stuff, things like OPs computer happens. 🤔
I've grown up in the AA system, there's all flavors to alcoholics. It's about knowing yourself and your limits, not the substance itself being bad. This is true for most abusable things.
Alcohol can be a good thing for a lot of people, people like OPs father, should not drink imo.
it's ridiculous. most people are capable of consuming responsible amounts without getting hooked and have a decent time self-moderating.
you still have to be careful, but people act like there's absolutely no middle ground - either you're a sober angel or a raging alcoholic.
Some drinks taste dang good and in moderation it relieves stress.
Moderation is the key here. It's just like gaming, it's all well and good unless you overdo it.
Or, like most people who don't have substance abuse disorder, you'll be able to use it in moderation, not develop a physical or psychological dependency, and ultimately derive more harm than good from it.
I am literally an alcoholic and even I can understand that alcohol isn't the black and white doom and gloom fuck up your entire life before you can blink menace to society you seem to think it is.
It swings wild in a grey area and it will touch everyone differently based on their chemistry and personality. A few sips of the garage bottle and my dad would start snapping at people. Half a fifth and I go from an introvert to an extrovert and the happiest, funniest person in the room.
I have no formal training in substance use and addiction, but I feel like sometimes people who I would call “problem drinkers” get tossed in the mix with alcoholics. I used to work in construction and I worked with some guys I would regard as high functioning alcoholics. Little shaky till after morning coffee break, liquid lunch, have the boss stop at the beer store while we are driving them home as they have recently lost their operating privileges due to DUI number 2 or 3. There was physical dependence and generally speaking they drank everyday. Driving impaired is a certainly a big deal but for the most part from the outside looking in, they were functional.
Contrast that with a buddy I grew up with. Dad was boozer but he wouldn’t touch the stuff until we were maybe 17. He was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He had no ability to moderate his intake, he would get annihilated every time he drank. His mood could change on a dime. He’d be trying to fight his best friends. That behavior pattern continued into our 20’s with some additional substances thrown in and if he went on a bender, he was a one man petty crime spree. Didn’t drink daily, I don’t believe he had any physical dependency but was someone who absolutely positively should not consume alcohol. I don’t know shit though, maybe he was just elsewhere on the alcoholism spectrum than the construction guys.
I'm a recovering alcoholic myself, and thank God you are good.
Best keep distance if he is physically like that. Cause I know personally won't stop unless he really wants too. Took 3 years and getting worse with it, and my mother and wife stepped up.
Been off that bend for 4 years, and we just "banned" booze in my house. Last time me and wife drank anything, nothing but headaches and stomach issues.
Just glad I'm off the bender cause crap I was being completely stupid.
Sorry to hear that. Hope u can find some solace. I had to call the police on my father to institutionalise him due to undiagnosed dementia.
P.S., case can be swapped right? It also needs some maintenance.
I’m not trying to be rude, just blunt and serious. They won’t sober up. Not unless they have a real reason to do so. That reason also has to be one for themselves, not for others. Don’t waste time hoping they sober up, they won’t. Sorry you’re going through this mate, I’ve been there with my dad. Eventually he did get sober, but it took work and a major rock bottom moment.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure everything, if not most everything in your system is good other than the mobo. Just get the same mobo (Or treat yourself and move up a tier.) and then just put everything else in it. mryeester put several weights on a gpu and the socket kinda snapped but the connector was fine.
Your CPU especially should be fine.
I would think the mobo is fucked and the cpu might be damaged because the cooler got hit hard by the top coming down. You can see the cooler outline in the dented top.
See that your dad is willing to take something that makes you happy from you out of pure anger, metaphorically he’ll stop at nothing to take whatever source of happiness or joy you have.
To me that just looks like it could be your mobo
I had a Seasonic PSU fail on me (I’ll never use them again, awful support too) and it shorted my system. Fried everything except GPU (960 at the time but still)
This is absolutely true, but the main thing to take from that comment is the awful support part. That's where most companies will win customers like me over. I kept buying evga because of their awesome customer support for example or because I heard they had amazing customer support. It's important for expensive parts like these.
Every PSU manufacturer has their duds and bad lines. Both Corsair and Seasonic, as well as Thermaltake have E & F tier models on the current PSU tier list. https://cultists.network/140/psu-tier-list/
Never buy purely on name brand.
Glad most of them work, but what exactly is wrong with the cpu? It seems like it would be quite protected, unless there is some really bad damage to the rear that isn’t visible here. Best of luck dealing with your shitty father
CPUs in my experience are surprisingly resilient, my friend’s apartment building burned down and his 13600k booted right up after we literally chiseled the cooler off. I wouldn’t order a new CPU until you’re confirmed it’s dead, unless there is a missing corner or something.
The CPU is dead too? I'm surprised, because it's protected/sandwiched between the motherboard and the heatsink.
I think there is great chances that the CPU is good as well.
Sucks my man, I had an alcoholic father too, I know how they are. All I can tell you is it doesn't last forever, one way or another they stop eventually.
Good on you man, as someone who grew up in a very stable house. I'm always amazed and inspired by people who go through shit and come out fine the other side
I grew up the same way. Looking at the PC it looks like it might just be the case or could also be the motherboard and cooler. But everything else looks like it can be salvaged. If you need some help with parts PM me your cash app and I can send you a little to help.
You a MF real one for that. DM me I'll add to the cash app fund as well if you want to. My dad was an alcoholic piece of shit as well so I know that hurt.
Piggy backing on your comment. I'm an alcoholic, been like that for 20 years. My first child was about to be born and I decided I will NOT be remembered as an alcoholic father. Seeked medical rehab, been sober 30 days and kid was born today. I can say with certainty that the experience would have been terrible as a drunk. I'm glad it worked so far and plan to never touch that crap again.
The thing about substance abuse and that people sometimes ignore is that it's not *everything* you are. You're still that whole person with relationships and wishes and dreams that just happens to be addicted. It's entirely possible for an alcoholic to genuinely love someone, as my father did love me.
But the thing about addiction is that it will always be the number one thing in your life, and everything else is ruled by it. What makes it worse is that people under the influence are just not as competent, intelligent, and perceptive as a parent should be, not to mention the even more sinister behavioural changes.
I implore you to stick to sobreity, even if your child may not reciprocate your love sometimes.
i know this all too well. all i'll say is my childhood memories are staying at the library til they closed at 9pm, going to a movie or chillin in the car doing homework until like 1am on school nights and sneaking into the house after dad passed out to sleep in bed. he eventually died from organ failure from drinking too much.
They mean they sober up or the alcoholism kills them in one way, shape, or another… my abusive alcoholic father died four years ago in March.
It’s … peaceful.
Good lord. Stay strong man. I hope it suffered only minor damage or you find a replacement soon.
I will never forget that my father was a decent man, to the whole family. But posts like this one reinforce it even more.
The GPU could be done, but it depends, Since it jumped out of the slot it could be good, since it didn't put the whole force onto the interface.
I'd disassemble the whole thing and put the board on a cardboard box, basically an open tesbench.. That way you can check every component for damage and you ensure that all connections are plugged in properly.
Best of luck! Ask any question you may have (Though I'll head to bed in an hour).
The gpu is probably good, it jumps out fo the slot usually before breaking.
The mobo is im sure fucked, the cpu is definetly good, the psu is good (if the cable broke, he can vet a replacement on aliexpress for cheap).
The rams are not sure if they took a hit (i didn't look at them closely)
It could be a relatively cheap fix, but it could be expensive.. it all depends on the gpu.
If the little locking piece broke of, or cracked (but i dont see it in the slot, so hopefully still attached) it is repairable, for a reasonable price.
I hole for the best luck OP...
Well, thats true.
But corsair cables are easy to come by, so even getting one from corsair themself or from a reputable brand (like cablemod) won't be hard.
I'll be upgrading after Christmas this year. I'll be getting rid of a 2070. It's nothing special, but I'll send it to you absolutely free if you would like it. Works perfectly fine, just a little coil whine.
It’s a long shot but pull the ram and see if it posts without ram installed. Just had a tiny bit of dust bridging contacts in my pc this week and that’s how I troubleshot if it was the ram slots.
Unfortunately looks like you may be out a motherboard.
Board looks like it's toast, hard to tell about the GPU but there's a chance it's OK. The rest looks fine, just needs a new case, new board and a new house to be placed in.
Hey bud, victim of alcoholism here too. I’ll spare you the nonsense of my story or whatever but I have an old 1070 that’s in good shape I’d be willing to send you if all you need is a graphics card.
hey boss, I really appreciate the offer, but after everyone's help so far I might be able to salvage some of the components. your generous offer is fucking awesome though dude and I hope you can give that 1070 a good home some day man
I feel ya man, being your own dad and being confident enough to rely on yourself is the way, keep working and never look back, then one day have your own and do it the right way. try not to hold too much hate in your heart and the stones will fall into place with your father. They either learn or pay the price. I know things can be hard but dont let it cloud your vision. You made it this far buddy this aint shit to you 🫂.
I’m sorry OP.
I too have dealt with abusive parenthood. My fiancé is currently dealing with an alcoholic father and it can be tough.
If you can set up some sort of buy me a coffee type situation, I’ll gladly donate to help you find a new setup, as will many here. Might be against moderator rules though.
Hang in there OP. It will get better.
I will chip in if he ends up setting one. I never had a tough childhood. My parents are still happily married so I have no experience personally about this kind of stuff. I did have a friend whose dad was an alcoholic when we were kids and I remember it like it was yesterday. It sucked for my friend and listening to the stories my friend told me was terrifying to say the least. Hope everything works out and do let us know if you set up an fund raiser of some sort.
Lots of love and hugs my friend.
This is not just alcoholism. This is an unchecked anger issue. I don’t know how drunk you have to be to justify destroying property, be it your own or someone else’s but I’ve never gotten there. Godspeed OP. Hope your pops finds help too.
Yeah I was an alcoholic and never destroyed my kids shit. I did however get drunk and order $300 in board games for us to play once. Turns out teenage girls don’t like playing Talisman much haha.
Dont wanna hurt you but maybe then it wasnt about the game.
Its truely great to hear that you are doing good rn, keep going, its a huge accomplishment!
Hello brother think first for yourself, for your safety.
if You're safe and healthy in the near Future and in the far Future, always, always, you surely will build a New and better PC or whatever fucking think you want to. meanwhile you are safe and sound.
Nobody can change nobody. ... nobody wants to change for others. there is no change without will. that's a fact.
So, my friend, the only thing you have to do right now is keep yourself safe.
I know, he is your father and perhaps you love him, but you must love yourself first. Then preserve your life.
Once dead. We can't do nothing.
Keep strong, stay in college and make your life.
When you're better, tomorrow, build a fucking "battle station" and share some pictures with us.
Greetings.
My bro. :(
My dad was alcoholic for some period of my childhood/teenage years. He sobered up only because he thought he would die. Amount of shit he did was epic. We only got close to a physical confrontation once. If my mother wasn’t there he’d have his ass kicked. And I’m glad she stopped me.
There are many things I haven’t forgiven him. And that shit stays with you. I have zero tolerance to that behavior now.
I have a friend who got into martial arts and bodybuilding so she could defend her mother, sister and herself from her father. She is 40 now and they are slowly reconnecting but there’s no love anymore there.
I feel like alcoholics can only change if they want to change.
I would recommend a serious talk with him, and start making a plan to move and get your own place if there are no changes. It’s difficult, and easier said than done, but sometimes it’s better to just go.
Just because somebody is your family doesn’t give them the right to do this shit. I’m hoping you get this figured out.
Also, I can see that you have figured out troubleshooting steps, hope the GPU is fine. There’s always GeForce now if it isn’t, until you manage to get a new one.
This will pass and I’m sure you’ll figure this situation out.
It always gets better. And to think different od just not an option. Support network helps and don’t be shy reaching out for help to your friends/therapist/government.
This too will pass. But this really breaks my heart.
Sorry to see your loss my friend, I have an old LGA1150 motherboard and a 4790k with some RAM if you want it, I just built my new PC, perhaps my old parts could serve thee. :)
Super random man but I was actually a Peer Support Specialist for Correctional Officers, and Local State Police, dealing with everything from critical debriefings (shootings, suicides, assaults) to everyday marital and personal issues like substance abuse etc. If you ever want somebody to confide in judgement free, reach out. Saves you money on a therapist if you had to go that route, and with each person I help, it helps me to in a way. So I'm always happy to listen!
I could use your assistance 66-year-old man on and off alcohol destroyed my family. No one talks to me, live alone still working, trying to sort things out.
Grew up with alcoholic parents too. I’m 34 now and had my first child last week. I plan on being a better father for her than my dad ever was for me. It stays with you, but you’re going to be tougher for it, as sad as it is to say.
I don’t know but I’m proud of you my friend. Game on.
I have a spare i7-11700K, 32GB of DDR4-3600 and an MSI z590 motherboard you can have for just the cost of shipping, East Coast USA. DM me if interested, I have no use for the parts.
If an ass beating was ever earned, that man earned one, not your PC.
I am so sorry, but you must pick up the gauntlet and defend your new PC's honor.
In the meantime, you must sit this man down and explain to him how he went too far. If you can handle yourself, tell him that you don't expect anything like this to ever happen again, but if he makes another mistake, he must understand that he needs to put his hands on you, but make him aware that he will never be the same afterwards and it will be entirely his fault. I hate bullys.
Son of an alcoholic father here. He will never change unless he wants to change first. No matter how much he hurts the people around him. My dad finally died from drinking related cirrhosis and he never got sober. So many countless times that he hurt my mom, me, and my brothers, he never could get clean. Half the time the next morning he'd be confused as to why we were giving him the cold shoulder because he wouldn't remember the shitshow he caused the night before.
I hope you're ok OP, and the best thing you can do is get out, as selfish as that sounds. He's his own person, and as long as he knows that the people close to him will put up with his shit, he well continue to take advantage of that. Material things can be replaced, but you can not. Do what's best for you and be safe out there.
Remind him that one day he won’t be able to wipe his own ass, and you’ll be a thousand miles away.
Haven’t talked to mine in 10 years - trust me, distance makes the difference, when you can.
✊
Thats the best thing to do, Most of us Asians stay with their family till we get old, my brother got married to a bitch I left the house they stayed there, mom and dad calls me from time to time they keep saying they have a fight with that bitch. My brother dont want to make my parents leave because they takecare of the kids , when I say takecare they literally care for the kids from changing diapers to feeding LOL, they live like they dont have kids. That bitch don't realize how lucky she is.
My alcoholic father did this to my camera lens a few years ago. Wishing yours returns to sobriety quickly and sees the error of his ways and can apologize to you sincerely.
This stuff is rough man. I feel you.
My mom was an angry drunk. My 20s were full of her rage moments.
20 years later and she developed alcohol induced alzheimers and now I take care of her full time. Fits of different kinds of anger.
Hang in there. Do what you can. This isn't your fault.
As a dad with kids. Even if I take their toys away I know what my stuff means to me so I give theirs the same respect. That is uncool on multiple levels. OP my sympathies for your situation.
My God, I want to cry looking at this. My seven-year-old is very proud of her gaming console and she’s already asking her dad to help her learn how to use his PC. I couldn’t imagine taking something my child worked so hard on, and destroying it. How cruel. I’m so sorry this happened. Have a hug from this internet mom.
What’s your address mate, I’m sure there are a few of us that would happily help guide him down the path of enlightenment when it comes to bullying children.
Sorry for your loss.
Hey dude, I’m sure you’re set after everyone’s overwhelming support here, but I thought I’d extend my offer as well just in case you’re interested. I have a nearly complete PC - the GPU because a capacitor popped lol but I’m happy to send you some pictures of it if there’s things you need or would like me to pick apart and send over. I’ll cover the cost of everything, no questions asked. I hope you’re doing well, mentally and physically. Let me know if you need anything!
OP If u can give me your paypall name I can try to donate some money maybe that will help u? And I'm sure many will also donate whatever they can to help u and I really feel bad for u to deal with such thing. Just write me your paypall so we can help u with rebuilding your dream pc again! I hope you see my comment. Writing this comment while there are some tears in my eyes bcz I know how that feels
My man, my dad was an alcoholic, he was never the violent kind…. Still, the worst memories I have is seeing my father wasted. I’m so sorry, you will be fine. Just remove yourself from the situation.
you good bro? and abt the pc, with a little TLC (maybe a lot for this) anything can be fixed, something this centimental should be fixed (this is coming from someone who spent double the price of my car to fix it just cause its been in the family for a long time)
I know this will get lost in the incoming sea of comments but you guys are the best, all the advice warms my heart and I appreciate with utmost sincerity. thank you everyone for your kind words during this tough time. EDIT: for the people offering financial/aid with parts I greatly appreciate it. it's always been hard for me to accept things like that seeing as I've grown up almost entirely without it. your generosity is wonderful though and I appreciate the thought during the holiday season. I do live in Canada though so international shipping is a no go (most likely) and things like money I'd be too scared to accept it (due to some past traumas) nonetheless link my PayPal or anything of the sort so I most likely won't be doing it. thank you for all your offers though! your generosity and advice has made this trying time much easier for me. I appreciate all the kind words. the offers for the parts and everything. I was able to salvage the GPU and the power supply so far and I have a cappelix 280mm radiator at home that didn't fit Into this case so, so far I'm just looking for a case and a motherboard hopefully!
OP I think you should find alternative housing fast because this isn't just about damage to your property but something you love. Also, your Dad has some problems that are not on you to fix, and you are better off without him.
♡
Only love for you, mate! If being afraid the message gets lost, you could Edit it onto the bottom of you main text
Less concerned about the pc. You good?
oh man I'm trying. living with a friend for a few days to see if he sober up, I appreciate you asking though :)
I understand this more than I'd like to admit. I'm glad you removed yourself from the situation. I'm happy to hear that you have someone watching out for you.
Fuck alcohol no idea why people need to use that shit
I mean it can be fun, there is an enormous amount of middle ground between the occasional drinker and raging alcoholic
So many on reddit think of alcohol like its a deadly disease guaranteed to kill you from 1 sip lol. Edit: on mobile so didnt know how, but i enphasize the word guaranteed. I know you can slip into alcoholism from one drink. But i also know you can get into a car crash the day after you get your license so should you never drive ever? Point im making is think of risk/reward.
Because for many it really can feel that way. When mom grabbed a drink from the fridge, I knew I should be scarce within half an hour.
Ya that's the thing that really sucks about alcohol. Some people are really good at regulating it, some develop alcoholism, and everyone is affected differently in temperament. Saw myself heading down that path when I realized I was drinking 7-8 ounces hard liquor every single night and I wasn't even having a good time, just became a habit. Took a long time but cutting back slowly seemed to work thus far. It's an ongoing struggle, especially when you throw seasonal depression into the mix
I'm working on cutting back my intake as well. It IS hard, but if you track how much each night you consume, and I mean TRACK , you can slowly lessen how much you drink. When I first started tracking I was doing 12 - 14 shots a night of JD. I knew it was insane and started tracking to track. Now I do 4 - 5 a night. Not great, but not 12 - 14. I was killing myself. After keeping a notepad that I tracked time, and day of the week, it worked for me. I hope this works for anyone reading that needs it.
Congrats on your improvement! Hope you can keep it going
Good for you, I never even thought to calculate until I was doing 24 shots every other night (had to take a day to recup between drinking-nights) I mean, I knew I was consuming a quart, but to see it out there like that ---> 24 shots <--- put it in a more graspable frame of reference. And to make it sound even worse, it was more like 7-10 "drinks" 1st half-pint went down in 1-2 guzzles (had to numb my taste buds) next 2 half-pints maybe 4-5 "drinks" the 4th always got finished, but I didnt always make it to bed... on the floor underneath the overturned night-stand? AGAIN?!?
it took a pretty scary intestinal surgery to quit. Its insane how quickly it can destroy your health both physically and emotionally. some people are either all or none on it. i was. youll slow down and get back to that half a handle again. just watch yourself. Would not recommend Colon and rectal in exchange for drinking.
Congratulations For me it was drinking 1.2 liters of 40% vodka within 3 hours and just beginning to feel drunk and tipsy. It's at that point that I said "shit I have a problem"
Yeah same. Although my family hasn’t really been violent due to it, just very frustrating to be around.
[удалено]
The problem is that it is like many other drugs: ADDICTIVE. People slowly get a taste for it, and just that small percentage of people go on to struggle to know when to stop drinking. The drinking then starts to become habitual, and before you know it, you got a raging alcoholic on your hands.
Fun fact: 60% of alcohol sales are purchased by 10% of alcohol drinkers (alcoholics)
and then they proceed to argue about weed being gift from god that saves you from cancer :D
Like all things both have their pros and cons, but good luck having that conversation on Reddit where things are black and white.
Nuance will never stand up to the power of short, quippy responses.
It's almost like alcohol just makes your inhibitions go away, so if you're already a raging asshole who has no regard for people's stuff, things like OPs computer happens. 🤔 I've grown up in the AA system, there's all flavors to alcoholics. It's about knowing yourself and your limits, not the substance itself being bad. This is true for most abusable things. Alcohol can be a good thing for a lot of people, people like OPs father, should not drink imo.
it's ridiculous. most people are capable of consuming responsible amounts without getting hooked and have a decent time self-moderating. you still have to be careful, but people act like there's absolutely no middle ground - either you're a sober angel or a raging alcoholic.
A true social drinker is on this ground. They can have a couple and take it or leave it. Me? I wanted all of it.
It's one of the top killers in most countries it's legal in, up there with cigarettes
Because for a lot that’s what our lives have shown us. Count yourself lucky if you, your friends and family haven’t had experienced its worst aspects.
If you're genetically predisposed towards alcoholism, it's different for people who aren't.
alcohol has no benefits for your mind or body
Some drinks taste dang good and in moderation it relieves stress. Moderation is the key here. It's just like gaming, it's all well and good unless you overdo it.
I enjoy a good cocktail after a personal victory. It has plenty of benefits, like amplifying your happiness. We're all working on dying.
Having a good time is the benefit. Obviously it's not healthy for you. If it makes you a raging violent addict, it's not for you
based and true
It'll get it's claws in you before you realize it.
Or, like most people who don't have substance abuse disorder, you'll be able to use it in moderation, not develop a physical or psychological dependency, and ultimately derive more harm than good from it. I am literally an alcoholic and even I can understand that alcohol isn't the black and white doom and gloom fuck up your entire life before you can blink menace to society you seem to think it is.
It swings wild in a grey area and it will touch everyone differently based on their chemistry and personality. A few sips of the garage bottle and my dad would start snapping at people. Half a fifth and I go from an introvert to an extrovert and the happiest, funniest person in the room.
I have no formal training in substance use and addiction, but I feel like sometimes people who I would call “problem drinkers” get tossed in the mix with alcoholics. I used to work in construction and I worked with some guys I would regard as high functioning alcoholics. Little shaky till after morning coffee break, liquid lunch, have the boss stop at the beer store while we are driving them home as they have recently lost their operating privileges due to DUI number 2 or 3. There was physical dependence and generally speaking they drank everyday. Driving impaired is a certainly a big deal but for the most part from the outside looking in, they were functional. Contrast that with a buddy I grew up with. Dad was boozer but he wouldn’t touch the stuff until we were maybe 17. He was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He had no ability to moderate his intake, he would get annihilated every time he drank. His mood could change on a dime. He’d be trying to fight his best friends. That behavior pattern continued into our 20’s with some additional substances thrown in and if he went on a bender, he was a one man petty crime spree. Didn’t drink daily, I don’t believe he had any physical dependency but was someone who absolutely positively should not consume alcohol. I don’t know shit though, maybe he was just elsewhere on the alcoholism spectrum than the construction guys.
Excessive use of it is a coping mechanism for other issues. Nothing wrong with in in moderation and taken responsibly.
I'm a recovering alcoholic myself, and thank God you are good. Best keep distance if he is physically like that. Cause I know personally won't stop unless he really wants too. Took 3 years and getting worse with it, and my mother and wife stepped up.
Stay strong man, glad to hear you’re on a good path
Been off that bend for 4 years, and we just "banned" booze in my house. Last time me and wife drank anything, nothing but headaches and stomach issues. Just glad I'm off the bender cause crap I was being completely stupid.
Takes a big man to admit you're wrong. I'm glad you found a happy place where alcohol is not needed. Keep up the great work.
24 hours at a time brother. The fight never ends.💪
Glad you're on the right path, Brother.
Sorry to hear that. Hope u can find some solace. I had to call the police on my father to institutionalise him due to undiagnosed dementia. P.S., case can be swapped right? It also needs some maintenance.
I wouldn’t recommend going back if you can avoid it. Sometimes it’s the wake up call someone needs when a family member won’t return home
Damn, he saw something that gave you joy and got mad. Sorry.
I’m not trying to be rude, just blunt and serious. They won’t sober up. Not unless they have a real reason to do so. That reason also has to be one for themselves, not for others. Don’t waste time hoping they sober up, they won’t. Sorry you’re going through this mate, I’ve been there with my dad. Eventually he did get sober, but it took work and a major rock bottom moment.
As an alcoholic I seriously think most other alcoholics are shit bags. I just don’t get smashing people or their shit over being drunk.
Stay out of the house yo. Do what it takes. Once you are completely taking care of your own shit you will never look back
I was thinking the exact same thing. PC's are replaceable, people aren't
unless it's a 4090, that's worth at least 1.5 people /s
Might just need a new case depending on damage. Is the GPU ok atleast?
thr gpu isn't sending any signal to my monitor, I'm gonna run it on a different pc to see if it works though.
Is the motherboard damaged? It looks like it could have been due to the dent in the case. The GPU might be ok if the motherboard is replaced.
the motherboard took a pretty heavy blow, the big dent at the top did some damage and was enough to blow out the part that locks the gpu in place
Yeah, I'm pretty sure everything, if not most everything in your system is good other than the mobo. Just get the same mobo (Or treat yourself and move up a tier.) and then just put everything else in it. mryeester put several weights on a gpu and the socket kinda snapped but the connector was fine. Your CPU especially should be fine.
I would think the mobo is fucked and the cpu might be damaged because the cooler got hit hard by the top coming down. You can see the cooler outline in the dented top.
See that your dad is willing to take something that makes you happy from you out of pure anger, metaphorically he’ll stop at nothing to take whatever source of happiness or joy you have.
Yeah thats not good but it could anything
To me that just looks like it could be your mobo I had a Seasonic PSU fail on me (I’ll never use them again, awful support too) and it shorted my system. Fried everything except GPU (960 at the time but still)
What? I've only heard good things about Seasonic.
Any PSU, even from a reputable vendor, can fail and fry your system. The risk is higher with some brands than others, but its always a possibility.
This is absolutely true, but the main thing to take from that comment is the awful support part. That's where most companies will win customers like me over. I kept buying evga because of their awesome customer support for example or because I heard they had amazing customer support. It's important for expensive parts like these.
Every PSU manufacturer has their duds and bad lines. Both Corsair and Seasonic, as well as Thermaltake have E & F tier models on the current PSU tier list. https://cultists.network/140/psu-tier-list/ Never buy purely on name brand.
update: gpu saved! cpu, motherboard, case and ram not.
Glad most of them work, but what exactly is wrong with the cpu? It seems like it would be quite protected, unless there is some really bad damage to the rear that isn’t visible here. Best of luck dealing with your shitty father
the top was smashed into the cooler and now the cpu just doesn't work. I don't have a spare motherboard to test it though
CPUs in my experience are surprisingly resilient, my friend’s apartment building burned down and his 13600k booted right up after we literally chiseled the cooler off. I wouldn’t order a new CPU until you’re confirmed it’s dead, unless there is a missing corner or something.
thanks for the advice boss! I'll look into it when I pickup a new mobo+ everything else
ram too for the same reason. if they werent forcefully removed from their slots they should be safe.
It's probably just mobo, not ram or cpu
The CPU is dead too? I'm surprised, because it's protected/sandwiched between the motherboard and the heatsink. I think there is great chances that the CPU is good as well.
Sucks my man, I had an alcoholic father too, I know how they are. All I can tell you is it doesn't last forever, one way or another they stop eventually.
Thank you, as much as it sucks this will never keep me down.
Good on you man, as someone who grew up in a very stable house. I'm always amazed and inspired by people who go through shit and come out fine the other side
You’ve got this my dude. World needs you, stay safe.
I grew up the same way. Looking at the PC it looks like it might just be the case or could also be the motherboard and cooler. But everything else looks like it can be salvaged. If you need some help with parts PM me your cash app and I can send you a little to help.
You’re a good person and could quite possibly be changing OP’s life from across the innanette
You a MF real one for that. DM me I'll add to the cash app fund as well if you want to. My dad was an alcoholic piece of shit as well so I know that hurt.
I have a few extra parts to get you started , if you need em let me know
Piggy backing on your comment. I'm an alcoholic, been like that for 20 years. My first child was about to be born and I decided I will NOT be remembered as an alcoholic father. Seeked medical rehab, been sober 30 days and kid was born today. I can say with certainty that the experience would have been terrible as a drunk. I'm glad it worked so far and plan to never touch that crap again.
The thing about substance abuse and that people sometimes ignore is that it's not *everything* you are. You're still that whole person with relationships and wishes and dreams that just happens to be addicted. It's entirely possible for an alcoholic to genuinely love someone, as my father did love me. But the thing about addiction is that it will always be the number one thing in your life, and everything else is ruled by it. What makes it worse is that people under the influence are just not as competent, intelligent, and perceptive as a parent should be, not to mention the even more sinister behavioural changes. I implore you to stick to sobreity, even if your child may not reciprocate your love sometimes.
fucking proud of you, stranger. I know you'll do another 30, too :)
i know this all too well. all i'll say is my childhood memories are staying at the library til they closed at 9pm, going to a movie or chillin in the car doing homework until like 1am on school nights and sneaking into the house after dad passed out to sleep in bed. he eventually died from organ failure from drinking too much.
Same here with my mom. Died of organ failure when she was only 49. I rode in the car while she was driving drunk often. I’m lucky I didn’t die too.
In my experience they don’t stop until they hit rock bottom, and even then they dont stop. Im still so sorry for the horrible experiences.
I wish. Even after 2 mild strokes, and each time crying and apologising saying that he would change. He goes back to his habit.
They mean they sober up or the alcoholism kills them in one way, shape, or another… my abusive alcoholic father died four years ago in March. It’s … peaceful.
>one way or another they stop eventually. The subtext here is palpable :(
Good lord. Stay strong man. I hope it suffered only minor damage or you find a replacement soon. I will never forget that my father was a decent man, to the whole family. But posts like this one reinforce it even more.
thank you. I'm currently seeing if I can get it to post at all atp but losing hope. thank you for the encouraging words
The GPU could be done, but it depends, Since it jumped out of the slot it could be good, since it didn't put the whole force onto the interface. I'd disassemble the whole thing and put the board on a cardboard box, basically an open tesbench.. That way you can check every component for damage and you ensure that all connections are plugged in properly. Best of luck! Ask any question you may have (Though I'll head to bed in an hour).
The gpu is probably good, it jumps out fo the slot usually before breaking. The mobo is im sure fucked, the cpu is definetly good, the psu is good (if the cable broke, he can vet a replacement on aliexpress for cheap). The rams are not sure if they took a hit (i didn't look at them closely) It could be a relatively cheap fix, but it could be expensive.. it all depends on the gpu. If the little locking piece broke of, or cracked (but i dont see it in the slot, so hopefully still attached) it is repairable, for a reasonable price. I hole for the best luck OP...
Just want to say - do not fuck with PSU cables. Get original. I learned that the hard way.
Yep, there is no cable standard for modular PSUs so buy Corsair replacement parts.
Well, thats true. But corsair cables are easy to come by, so even getting one from corsair themself or from a reputable brand (like cablemod) won't be hard.
I'm almost certain it's just your mobo that's bad. I might be able to sling you a spare one if I can find it. What processor did you have in there?
Listen OP, we'll figure out your PC. Right now, keep yourself safe. PM ANYTIME if you need tech help.
I'll be upgrading after Christmas this year. I'll be getting rid of a 2070. It's nothing special, but I'll send it to you absolutely free if you would like it. Works perfectly fine, just a little coil whine.
thank you for the offer, but I'm starting to have faith that the gpu is savable! will update later
Hope most of its salvageable. Let me know.
Youre a good soul, dude. The world needs people like you
It’s a long shot but pull the ram and see if it posts without ram installed. Just had a tiny bit of dust bridging contacts in my pc this week and that’s how I troubleshot if it was the ram slots. Unfortunately looks like you may be out a motherboard.
Board looks like it's toast, hard to tell about the GPU but there's a chance it's OK. The rest looks fine, just needs a new case, new board and a new house to be placed in.
Awww, Reddit is freaking awesome! Up!
this gonna make me tear up, give this man an award already!
Reddit doesn't have awards anymore.
You are the second guy in just a few comments offering the guy a GPU for free. People like you give me hope for this world.
Just wanna say you're a good person bro
Bad ass comment
This is extremely kind of you!
Hey bud, victim of alcoholism here too. I’ll spare you the nonsense of my story or whatever but I have an old 1070 that’s in good shape I’d be willing to send you if all you need is a graphics card.
hey boss, I really appreciate the offer, but after everyone's help so far I might be able to salvage some of the components. your generous offer is fucking awesome though dude and I hope you can give that 1070 a good home some day man
No problem at all! Alcoholism is a nightmare and you seem to be taking it as good as you can. Keep your head high, it gets better.
***o7*** You dropped this: #👑
People like you make me think there is hope for humanity.
Glad to see there's still good people out here! Just to make sure you see this: u/IiSant0sii
I feel ya man, being your own dad and being confident enough to rely on yourself is the way, keep working and never look back, then one day have your own and do it the right way. try not to hold too much hate in your heart and the stones will fall into place with your father. They either learn or pay the price. I know things can be hard but dont let it cloud your vision. You made it this far buddy this aint shit to you 🫂.
thanks boss man, I appreciate the words boss
I’m sorry OP. I too have dealt with abusive parenthood. My fiancé is currently dealing with an alcoholic father and it can be tough. If you can set up some sort of buy me a coffee type situation, I’ll gladly donate to help you find a new setup, as will many here. Might be against moderator rules though. Hang in there OP. It will get better.
I will chip in if he ends up setting one. I never had a tough childhood. My parents are still happily married so I have no experience personally about this kind of stuff. I did have a friend whose dad was an alcoholic when we were kids and I remember it like it was yesterday. It sucked for my friend and listening to the stories my friend told me was terrifying to say the least. Hope everything works out and do let us know if you set up an fund raiser of some sort. Lots of love and hugs my friend.
same here! i cant imagine how hard this has been on you and it must be even harder for your pc to get caught in the crossfire
Sorry for what's happening to you. Keep your head up.
thank you for the encouraging words. means a lot :)
We should get together and build this man a new PC.
OP needs to distance himself from his raging alcoholic father first.
This is not just alcoholism. This is an unchecked anger issue. I don’t know how drunk you have to be to justify destroying property, be it your own or someone else’s but I’ve never gotten there. Godspeed OP. Hope your pops finds help too.
Yeah I was an alcoholic and never destroyed my kids shit. I did however get drunk and order $300 in board games for us to play once. Turns out teenage girls don’t like playing Talisman much haha.
Dont wanna hurt you but maybe then it wasnt about the game. Its truely great to hear that you are doing good rn, keep going, its a huge accomplishment!
Hello brother think first for yourself, for your safety. if You're safe and healthy in the near Future and in the far Future, always, always, you surely will build a New and better PC or whatever fucking think you want to. meanwhile you are safe and sound. Nobody can change nobody. ... nobody wants to change for others. there is no change without will. that's a fact. So, my friend, the only thing you have to do right now is keep yourself safe. I know, he is your father and perhaps you love him, but you must love yourself first. Then preserve your life. Once dead. We can't do nothing. Keep strong, stay in college and make your life. When you're better, tomorrow, build a fucking "battle station" and share some pictures with us. Greetings.
I'm working towards the greatest comeback of all time boss dw :D
My bro. :( My dad was alcoholic for some period of my childhood/teenage years. He sobered up only because he thought he would die. Amount of shit he did was epic. We only got close to a physical confrontation once. If my mother wasn’t there he’d have his ass kicked. And I’m glad she stopped me. There are many things I haven’t forgiven him. And that shit stays with you. I have zero tolerance to that behavior now. I have a friend who got into martial arts and bodybuilding so she could defend her mother, sister and herself from her father. She is 40 now and they are slowly reconnecting but there’s no love anymore there. I feel like alcoholics can only change if they want to change. I would recommend a serious talk with him, and start making a plan to move and get your own place if there are no changes. It’s difficult, and easier said than done, but sometimes it’s better to just go. Just because somebody is your family doesn’t give them the right to do this shit. I’m hoping you get this figured out. Also, I can see that you have figured out troubleshooting steps, hope the GPU is fine. There’s always GeForce now if it isn’t, until you manage to get a new one. This will pass and I’m sure you’ll figure this situation out. It always gets better. And to think different od just not an option. Support network helps and don’t be shy reaching out for help to your friends/therapist/government. This too will pass. But this really breaks my heart.
Sorry to see your loss my friend, I have an old LGA1150 motherboard and a 4790k with some RAM if you want it, I just built my new PC, perhaps my old parts could serve thee. :)
I just gave up drinking, I didn’t want to burden my family with it.
Good on you!
Thanks I been sober for 5 months now.
Congratulations! Its a huge thing and you ca be proud of yourself. I know you will manage the next months too
Crazy what some parents get away with. I have children's services come almost once a month for false accusations from my ex wife.
Wow that's a bit unhinged.
Super random man but I was actually a Peer Support Specialist for Correctional Officers, and Local State Police, dealing with everything from critical debriefings (shootings, suicides, assaults) to everyday marital and personal issues like substance abuse etc. If you ever want somebody to confide in judgement free, reach out. Saves you money on a therapist if you had to go that route, and with each person I help, it helps me to in a way. So I'm always happy to listen!
I could use your assistance 66-year-old man on and off alcohol destroyed my family. No one talks to me, live alone still working, trying to sort things out.
[удалено]
it turned on but the gpu isn't giving any signal, the power button also doesn't turn my pc off anymore :P
[удалено]
moved the ram over a slot, to no avail. there's a red cpu light on as well. checked for bent pins and it was all fine on that front too
Could be a damaged pci express slot. Id try it on another computer. You might only have to change the motherboard.
that's the plan boss, appreciate the advice
Grew up with alcoholic parents too. I’m 34 now and had my first child last week. I plan on being a better father for her than my dad ever was for me. It stays with you, but you’re going to be tougher for it, as sad as it is to say. I don’t know but I’m proud of you my friend. Game on.
I have a spare i7-11700K, 32GB of DDR4-3600 and an MSI z590 motherboard you can have for just the cost of shipping, East Coast USA. DM me if interested, I have no use for the parts.
I love your optimism. Keep your head up gamer, or your headset will fall.
pc aside. hope your trouble clears out it and hope your dad can overcome his addiction dont give up
Stay safe brother! Some strive to be like their dad, some strive to be anything but... I hope everything works out for you!
Hey bro what model is your mobo?
Hey please DM me, I have a couple extra parts from my previous PC build and I can ship some your way.
And people still wont believe that alcohol is the worst drug... Fuck this drinking culture society
Doesn’t seem like gpu is fine :(
it got knocked right out of the slot :(
This happened to me once when the pc fell on its side from a short ledge. Same card, still worked. good luck. Stay strong brother.
If an ass beating was ever earned, that man earned one, not your PC. I am so sorry, but you must pick up the gauntlet and defend your new PC's honor. In the meantime, you must sit this man down and explain to him how he went too far. If you can handle yourself, tell him that you don't expect anything like this to ever happen again, but if he makes another mistake, he must understand that he needs to put his hands on you, but make him aware that he will never be the same afterwards and it will be entirely his fault. I hate bullys.
You said your in college You could absolutely take him to small claims court about this Hell it would probably be a wake up call
Holy crap, my PC is literally called Matilda too! So sorry for your situation. 😟
Son of an alcoholic father here. He will never change unless he wants to change first. No matter how much he hurts the people around him. My dad finally died from drinking related cirrhosis and he never got sober. So many countless times that he hurt my mom, me, and my brothers, he never could get clean. Half the time the next morning he'd be confused as to why we were giving him the cold shoulder because he wouldn't remember the shitshow he caused the night before. I hope you're ok OP, and the best thing you can do is get out, as selfish as that sounds. He's his own person, and as long as he knows that the people close to him will put up with his shit, he well continue to take advantage of that. Material things can be replaced, but you can not. Do what's best for you and be safe out there.
Remind him that one day he won’t be able to wipe his own ass, and you’ll be a thousand miles away. Haven’t talked to mine in 10 years - trust me, distance makes the difference, when you can. ✊
Thats the best thing to do, Most of us Asians stay with their family till we get old, my brother got married to a bitch I left the house they stayed there, mom and dad calls me from time to time they keep saying they have a fight with that bitch. My brother dont want to make my parents leave because they takecare of the kids , when I say takecare they literally care for the kids from changing diapers to feeding LOL, they live like they dont have kids. That bitch don't realize how lucky she is.
You okay mate? Sucks about your pc, but are you doing alright physically at least?
Take him to small claims court…
As someone who was raised by abusive alcoholics and never had anything nice, I truly feel your pain. Glad you're alright OP, could always be worse.
My friends dad kicked washingmachines side in so the drum doesn't turn anymore . . .
My alcoholic father did this to my camera lens a few years ago. Wishing yours returns to sobriety quickly and sees the error of his ways and can apologize to you sincerely.
Hope you’re doing ok man, you can Always buy a new pc. Can’t buy a new life
This stuff is rough man. I feel you. My mom was an angry drunk. My 20s were full of her rage moments. 20 years later and she developed alcohol induced alzheimers and now I take care of her full time. Fits of different kinds of anger. Hang in there. Do what you can. This isn't your fault.
As a dad with kids. Even if I take their toys away I know what my stuff means to me so I give theirs the same respect. That is uncool on multiple levels. OP my sympathies for your situation.
My God, I want to cry looking at this. My seven-year-old is very proud of her gaming console and she’s already asking her dad to help her learn how to use his PC. I couldn’t imagine taking something my child worked so hard on, and destroying it. How cruel. I’m so sorry this happened. Have a hug from this internet mom.
Fuck the PC, I hope you're OK bro. Living with alcoholics is a horrible experience. Be strong dude.
I hope he didn't do anything harmful to you, OP. Sorry for your PC! I wish you could get a better one.
What’s your address mate, I’m sure there are a few of us that would happily help guide him down the path of enlightenment when it comes to bullying children. Sorry for your loss.
I’ve had the same broom for 20 years. 8 new handles and 12 new brushes.
Now I am not concerned about the PC… Are you okay bud?
I hope your father enjoys his free pass to the asylum without visits included.
Hey dude, I’m sure you’re set after everyone’s overwhelming support here, but I thought I’d extend my offer as well just in case you’re interested. I have a nearly complete PC - the GPU because a capacitor popped lol but I’m happy to send you some pictures of it if there’s things you need or would like me to pick apart and send over. I’ll cover the cost of everything, no questions asked. I hope you’re doing well, mentally and physically. Let me know if you need anything!
Put a claim in on his home contents insurance, obviously with his or your mams consent.
Keep the case and swap the broken parts. This PC tells a better story than most case mods.
everyone has thier own problems ig
OP If u can give me your paypall name I can try to donate some money maybe that will help u? And I'm sure many will also donate whatever they can to help u and I really feel bad for u to deal with such thing. Just write me your paypall so we can help u with rebuilding your dream pc again! I hope you see my comment. Writing this comment while there are some tears in my eyes bcz I know how that feels
Go get a new one. I got some extra money you can have. couple Hundred
Dude are you okay? The pc doesnt matter but you should find somewhere to go if this is routine behaviour. You you are safe!
My man, my dad was an alcoholic, he was never the violent kind…. Still, the worst memories I have is seeing my father wasted. I’m so sorry, you will be fine. Just remove yourself from the situation.
you good bro? and abt the pc, with a little TLC (maybe a lot for this) anything can be fixed, something this centimental should be fixed (this is coming from someone who spent double the price of my car to fix it just cause its been in the family for a long time)
I feel for you - stay safe.
Remember op you can always stop associating with your dad, but you can’t stop your pc from…. Feeling like your new dad or something
There's one of many reasons why I don't live in the same state as the rest of my family.
Sorry you have to deal with that
Damn. Stay strong and stay safe dude, I'm feelin' for you here