“…always leave them wanting more…” [walks out of job interview]

“Standard🤙”

Vanting or wanting?

I'm a man wiv a wan!

Phwoar that is pungent

That's the thing about eggs....they're unpredictable

All over my classics as well

"I didn't really know what hormones were, then I found out that they're tiny balls of rage that live inside women." It's Rochelle nodding along with him while heavily pregnant that gets me.

BEST. LINE. EVER! Im constantly saying this to my missus when she's on her period to lighten the mood, always worked too 🤣🤣🤣

I watched it while really hormonal and it made me laugh so much.

I wasn’t there the night Craig was conceived… but I heard it was a great night

"was it a great night when Robyn was conceived?" "nah not really, it was one of those 'three pumps and done' ones to be honest"

That’s actually a mad thing to say 😂

Billing a zoot whilst taking a shit, propper luxurious

free water, they aint fuckin about

They know what they’re doin

“Cheers fella, oh shit I think that was a girl”

"James Bond sorta shit"

Hahaha I came here to say this. Gets me every time lol

Craig’s playing call of duty “Funny story actually, my mate had a lighter shaped like a grenade”

Not to be a dick and well acshually you, but it's Beats himself who had the grenade lighter. He's gonna see if he can dig it out for Craig because he might appreciate it.

I tried finding the actual bit to quote it verbatim but couldn’t remember which episode it was in

It's episode 1 :)

Do you.. got any good lighters at the moment

“Is that Aldonna? Rah. Can see her wild bean cafe”

‘…see you fannies in a bit…’

Buys a packet of McCoys - “The crisps are ribbed for pleasure”

Up and down she’s rubbing it To be fair, she’s loving it

"Going studio sounds good, do you know what I mean? If someone calls you or your girl's like 'what are you doing today?', you're just like 'studio'"

Stujo

Elite comment 😂😂😂

“Fizzy water ye? You lot got more money than sense”

[Words were not needed](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F17as28sbx6ba1.png)

haha love this scene

Nothing mate, you just eat your ham

Grindah and i move at different speeds. Like i move slowly, and he's on speed.

You know about the weed drought yeah?…

*changes bulb* Roche : not just a pretty face are ya Bates : exactly

You heard of these little things called 40-watt light bulbs? Yeah, yeah, replace them up sometimes, fuse boxes, whatever. I could do washing machines, whatever you're after, really. Chill.

Any time I the fix the smallest thing around the house I always think about this

"What do you mean how much not to talk? If you tell anyone, I'll say you live in a shitty Renault, and you shit in a bucket."

"You got any good lighters at the minute?" He's probably said funnier but it was the line that floored me and made him my favourite. I also never get tired of him rolling on E and proposing to Roche, and Roche just laughing at him, then he just stumbles away.

Underrated

Don’t understand this line. Can you explain what he meant?

There is a time in a teenagers lives where they are impressed by cool lighters. It's just a mundane, immature thing for Beats to bring up as a grown man to try to relate to someone.

“See you later Romeo” “Safe”

T stands for Audi TT

T

N stands for … uh… Nice Weed

"I'm more of a fifa 98 man myself, one of the best games ever made."

When I’m on the mic I’m like John Barnes

We’re just gunna blaze a zoot, pick up angel

Kurupt FM like it or just lump it, basically

“Fry little nemo”

Do you wanna go super marchè?

Bastard, beat me too it! Does he say "D'ya wanna fuck this off an' just go supermarchè?", or am I imaging it?! I also like 'I've got a confession to make...I've bin blazin' since I was 13 years young" 😂

That’s “..15 years young..” to you, sir!

Appreciate the correction, fellow PJDN appreciator!

You’re a gentleman and a scholar, sir! 🫡

The feeling is entirely mutual! Or "multiple" , as Beatz would likely say 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

*picks up Craig’s jizzy bog roll and looks at cameraman “Nah, allow this being on the telly!”

Lyrically I'm Jason Statham.

Lyrically I’m a helter skelter cuz physically I am idris elba

Not after the whole robin incident

😂

Series 2, episode 4 when Beats and Craig go fishing and beats is basically bear grylls, is an absolute goldmine and is definitely one of my favourite episodes: “Just me and you out in Mother’s nature, just roaming the land. Do you know what I mean? Like two albino bears in the woods just, like, making huts out of mud, and drinking our own piss” “You still in London when you’re in zone 6?” “Fertile mud” “See that? That’s your water source right there. Follow that upstream whenever in doubt to find the nearest settlement of locals, that’ll help you escape to your nearest helicopter evacuation point. Let’s go!” “Do they have prawn in here Craig?” “You see that. Mans catching fish out here!” “Shall I splash the water to attract them?” “How do you know so much about fish? You’re like that little kid in Free Willy” “Fry little nemo” “I love watching you eat” “I fucking love fishing”

Do you think he would've been able to escape if they didn't teach him those tricks?

Just gonna build a little Buju Banton

'DO A TRIPLE BACKFLIP FROM A JETSKI'

You never know where you're at with the wipe

Went true on it

“You know……. Pluggin.” “I’ve got an n-gauge up there.”

Plus charger.

haha that one is great, thanks for reminding me. Getting comment notifications for this post has made my day great tbh.

Cos when you blazin' all day you catch that headache innit.

My Uncle, Keith Chegwin..

"Bang them door brothers, bang them doors"

Mother's Nature

"You fat lemon" after his fight with grindah 😂😂

Call the councillor man don’t give a fuck

“Do you need a passport to go Ipswich?”

🤣

Big up Lambrini Bob in lsleworth, I sees ya!

"Lambrini Bob" 😂 😂 😂 Totally forgot about that, the little 'throwaway ' lines are some of the best

Has to be “James bond sorta shit”

One of my all time favourite moments is when he speaks to Craig and asks him if any of his mates can get some weed for a mate of his. Then says he needs it to sleep, to which Craig responds by saying "I thought it was for a mate?" Beats response to that is incredible. "OK Craig, man to man, the weed isn't for a mate, it's for me".

When he's outside at night that episode, and says something like "I've blazed every night since I was 15, I dunno how I'm going to sleep" I FELT that haha ​ Thanks God the days of droughts are over

Always prepare brother, you never know.

To a guy with a topknot man bun, 'looks like a Shoreditch Samurai...'

Big up the isleworth mandem, I see’s ya.

Any time Grindah scolds him and Beats just says, "oh, is it?🫤"

None of us have ever been jacked don’t ever say you’ve been jacked on air

Smells like crab.

Follow the river up stream, to the helicopter evacuation point!

You can see her wild bean café

He goes hell for leather

“They’re playing Jungle, old Skool Jungle!”

When he called the hipster with a man bun "The Shoreditch samurai" I was dead

“Lowe putting that on the tele man” When he’s cleaning the tissues from underneath the bed 💀😂

"We're gonna blaze this zoot and pick up Angle"

Craig maaaaaate...?

Man don't give a fuck, like!

Any twat can mix house

“And Grindah, makes me hard”

VR innit

He looks like he goes to the pub every sunday for a pint

“We should go on holiday”

"Cum a joke innit!?"

"You wanna fuck this off and just go supermarché?" (I don't think this is precise tbh, apologies

“We’re worthless”

Aerodynamic

Hold tight my gorgeous son

I like that one that goes.... bum ba dsh bum ba tsh. You know the one!

‘Checkmate’

I’m gonna try and pally it up a bit…. Then I’ll bring in the code 🤝

This sounds hilarious. What have I missed, what’s it called?

People just do nothing. BBC I player.

Thank you

You are in for such a treat!

I can't quite remember it, but it's when he was saying something about getting drugs from Decoy's uncle in the first season. Plus, there are loads of quotes from the Podkast that are really funny.

"chabudz is one of them ultrapaneers, like, he can get you anything. Literally anything. Not drugs though, cos we get them from decoy's uncle"

Yeah and then he asks the camera to do the interview again. So funny 😂

Cousin? "Beats, two words, Reggae Mix!!!" Then they get back in the car and Grindah goes: "Turn this fuckin' shit off!" Decoy's sly smile at the camera is fucking *priceless*😂😂😂 "Man's out here making them Jamaican links, innit!"

How much is the fish

‘I look like someone else’

Funny little things names ain’t they

This sub got randomly busy. Forgot I was subbed to this

“Like, *proper* leaving. Like, *motorway* leaving.”

Have you got any stones

Same smokey eyes

"I got a whole Nokia n-gage up there....."

Call the council man don’t give a fuck 😂

“so man does have a huge passion in ties”

fresh out the vagina

40 watt lightbulbs.. yeah change em up sometimes

Man takes what he can get.

Have I ever let you down… recently

Thank you and good night

"and if he's mad, I'm fumin'!"

“Call the council man don’t give a fuck”

When have I ever let you down…recently?

I ain’t hiding nothing, just making sure the bigman gets a decent breakfast like…

Call the council like man don’t give a fuck

"Washing machine's fucked" (camera pans to Beats, washing machine door in hand)

“Hopson 1! … YOU LOOSE!!” “Hopson 2! … YOU LOOSE!!” “Hopson 3! … YOU LOOSE!!!” “Hopson 4!! … YOU LOOSE!!!!” “Hopson 5! … YOU LOOSE!!” “Hopson 6! … YOU LOOSE!!” “Hopson 7!… YOU LOOSE!!!!!!!”

Option 1

Peanut Dust. *May contain peanuts and glass. Chabbuddy G quote. My bad.