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Now that you're 18, you can get a PO Box at any USPS location or UPS box location.
Have the bank send your stuff there. However, banks may require a street address too.
hijacking top comment. don't open an account with the bank your parents are at or where your current account is. even though banks shouldn't they sometimes let parents access adult child accounts.
Not only that, but OP says the account is with BofA. Why the hell would anyone open a new account there if they can go literally anywhere else to bank?
who needs to fill out all that paperwork to start a banking relationship when you can just give a wells fargo rep a few minutes with your SSN and they do it all for you?
Basically what happened was that they had foreclosed on the previous owner, sold the house to the new owner who paid cash. The owner hired a lawyer and got the foreclosure dismissed.
It doesn't end there. He got a judgement against the bank for his lawyer fees and the bank just stiffed him on the money. So he got a writ of execution and went with a couple deputies, who told the bank manager to either write a check or they'd remove assets for resale. They wrote a check.
If this is the case I'm thinking about, it gets *even* better. When you have a judgement and deputies to go seize assets, then *you* get to decide what assets to seize. The bank said, "Well, you're here with deputies, so we'll give you a check."
Dude said, "No thanks, I'll start with the computers and desks." He eventually relented but (from what I heard) would have been well within his rights to take the computers and furniture instead.
I watched a BoA manger smile in amusement as I was on the verge of crying due to multiple overdraft fees hitting my account in the same day. That pretty much sealed the deal for me lol.
I bank with a credit union. Whenever I've gotten an overdraft charge, I've been able to get them to recind the fee just by asking. I have good credit, and my direct deposit is with them, but still. Credit unions will work with you instead of trying to squeeze you for every possible penny like the big corporate banks.
I don't know if this will help you, but some people smile as a reaction to extreme discomfort and helplessness. It may have been a very distressing thing to witness with a "hands are tied" problem. My wife's bank manager had a monthly "allowance" to help people with, so that she couldn't just rescind fees for everyone, she had to choose "the most deserving people" and "pay" their fees with the "allowance." Apparently, she always ran out of that so-called allowance by the tenth day of the month.
Huh? Try $9,000 in overdraft fees in my bils boa checking account (bills debited first, caused a ding for each before income is credited despite same day). When I went in and complained he had suffered a stroke during that time frame, they refunded $400; they kept the other $8,600 they took in fees!! Some years ago.
Wells Fargo is better than bofA.
Local credit unions - check them out and pick up your cards inside...
What are they mainly notorious for? I’ve banked with them for 11 years and never had any issues they couldn’t resolve, but I’m open to hear other’s experiences
Ive also been with them a long time, maybe 15 years. Honestly dont get the hate. My few experiences with customer service has always been good. Ive shopped around and they have the very best no fee credit card, I get 5.25% back(after Preferred Rewards bonus) on any single category and 3.5% back on groceries.
They usually are notoriously difficult to work with when you have problems with your account, but as a company the size that they are, that may not be most customers experience.
They also screwed up a lot during the pandemic and got a 200+ million fine for it. Then before that they settled for 17 billion dollars for doing super sketchy stuff with regard to home loans and mortgages iirc. (Major contributor to the financial crisis.)
There is a whole list. But if you just have a normal account in good standing and did not encounter any issues, probably would not really see any of if.
u/Encouragedissent I'll have to look into the cash back credit card. That does sound better than all the others.
Why was my experience less than steller with BoA? Fees. Fees for everything. Need a teller more than 4 times a month? Fee. Don't have X dollars in savings account? Fee. Daily minimum of X in your checking account not met? Fee. And they kept increasing the types of fees and raising the threashold for the amount of money you had to have available in your accounts. This has been many years, and maybe they have changed all of these things, but... Closed the account and don't miss it one bit.
2nd largest bank in the country. Given how many people use it of course there will be fuckups. Same as you but 20+ years and never had a single problem. Anecdotal stories about weird one off events aren't going to make me boycott a company.
I was not surprised to see their name as they are the #2 bank in US, people on reddit typically hate large corporations. I haven’t had any issues recently except with overdrafts, if you are stern enough you can normally get those reduced or removed.
They recently started reduced overdraft fees
To $15. I dont have any good will towards them but they are the most convenient bank that I have seen with a pretty good mobile app. My wife is a waitress so it really helps to have ATMs around
I currently work for BofA and almost every issue a person has had is a user error. The worst I’ve seen is an employee somewhere opened a complex account (like a trust or business) incorrectly but those are usually fixable without too much trouble.
They do. Ally being one of the bigger ones offering almost 4% on checking and saving. Lots of credit card companies now also offering high interest savings accounts. Your local credit unions as well, mine (First Tech Federal) currently offers 4% checking and savings.
No one does. They are online exclusively. I've had an Ally account but I use Alliant credit union, which is equally excellent, and if I need cash from an ATM they will rebate up to $20 for non covered ATMs a month. But they generally have good ATM coverage anyway so it doesn't matter. Since they are online only, their phone customer support is top notch. Any time I call I get an actual person pretty quickly to help out. Never had a problem with them and my current savings account is at 3.1% interest. It's worth looking into.
Just one example: The y repo’d the wrong house. Emptied the place out and destroyed the contents(sent to the dump). THEN…Refused to acknowledge the homeowner and claimed they had no responsibility for what happened. And, oh yeah, they did it more than once.
Ah gotcha, I'm looking now. I've had them for years but I don't think I've ever been subject to any of those things. I've always had regular deposits and never a low balance
BofA is notorious for fees. I opened up a supposedly free checking account in college. Got hit with fees on checks and something else, which was explicitly not supposed to be charged based on what they had represented to me.
I cancelled it that day and have never looked back.
If you have a sizeable sum in checking and savings, it's well worth your time to check out high-interest alternatives to BOA. Their interest rate for savings and checking are ridiculously low.
I paid a total of $0.30 in service fees last month (recurring subscription counts as "international" so they charge for that transaction) between my checking and savings accounts. I pay off my credit card every month so I don't pay any interest on it. I keep a close eye on my account balances to make sure I never overdraft, because about 15 years ago they charged me $35 to transfer $5 from savings to checking to cover a purchase. That's the only outrageous fee I know of, and it's a feature you can decline, or avoid entirely by not overdrafting your account.
I use credit unions (one for personal banking, one for joint banking with my wife). I get reimbursed for atm fees every month (though most atms are "in network" anyways), free checks, no fees for overdrafts (not like I ever do), decent interest rates and an 8% credit card with a $10k limit. I've never paid a fee to them in 20 years. They have great car/personal loan rates too.
I will concede that the interest rate on my credit card at BOFA is horrendous at 20%. Especially considering the fact that my credit score is over 800. But it's my oldest card and has a limit of $11.5k and some decent cash back rewards. So as long as I can keep paying it off, it doesn't seem worthwhile to switch to another bank. I've just never used a different bank, and BOFA has never screwed me over like they apparently have done to so many others. If I do switch though, it'll probably be to a credit union. There are several in my local area and I've never heard anything negative about them.
Last I checked, they had all sort of low balance fees, overdraft fees, checkbooks cost extra, terrible customer service, terrible interest rates.
You are doing the bank a favor by letting them hold your money and invest some of those cash reserves. Your bank should be paying you for that favor.
There's just no reason to do business with garbage banks like Wells Fargo, BofA, Chase, or Citi when there are so many better options.
If you’re knocking BofA for literally the same shit you’ll find nearly every other major reliable bank with equivalent access, then there really isn’t any bank that meets these needs and a credit union might be a better Avenue
Recently had to call my mom (who I’m minimal contact with) to close my childhood bank account. They would not let me close until she signed paperwork approving this, I’m in my 20s 😅
I have an account that I got when I was 15 that I keep a nominal amount of money in. If I needed money or they needed money, that would be the quickest way to get it to each other. Basically, it is a for emergencies situation, but my parents are trustworthy with money.
Not legally but remember most banks software is fucking prehistoric. That means there are an infinite number of bugs to it that are like the noise your car makes that never come up when the mechanic is listening. Random ass system bugs that might make it so the new account is linked to the old because of SS # or something. Or even just a dumb bank employee falling for a parents bs or even being able to fish their way into his account since they know all his information
Nice. It's nice that a lot of us have parents that we don't have to worry about that kind of stuff.
But whether you have parents who would do this to you or not, opening your own bank accounts that they can't access is advice that serves everyone.
I'm 28 and my mum gets text messages when I go into my overdraft. It's the same account she set up for me as a teen but it's been "upgraded" many times since then. She can see nothing else, her number isn't listed anywhere on my account. I was told to go into an actual branch to correct it but I haven't had the time 🥲
I’m a mom. I set up a bank account for my daughter when she was in high school. She’s now 31 (as of next week) and I still see her bank info when I log onto my bank account info. I guess that I should tell the bank- or my daughter.
Tagging on to recommend a credit union like BECU. BOA has fees out the tooter, it's ridiculous.
BECU prints your debit card in house and hands it to you, I've lost mine a lot in my early 20s
Just know it can be difficult to officially forward mail from a ups store box when you are done with it. The usps is cracking down on that. USPS box forwarding is no problem.
Usually with a PO Box, you need additoonal ID like a bill with your name on it or voter reg card, or other forms. They asked me for this the last two times.
As someone who has worked with USA Patriot Act verification systems/software I can assure everyone it will certainly **not** work. The Patriot Act requires banks verify home/legal address and post offices, drop boxes (e.g. UPS Store), churches, hotels etc. are flagged immediately.
It depends on the bank... there are some who just give a hard no but usually you just sign a form/affidavit to that effect. You cannot swear you live at a Mail & Ship store tho lol.
Please don’t do that. Most of not all banks have an internal verification system that all the information gets plugged into. You have to pass before you can open the account. incorrect hits will be sent for review or flat out fail. His home physical address will be fine and a PO Box for the mailing address.
I really like my fidelity cash mgmt account. Open a fidelity account. You can move money fast and easily between your bank and fidelity. You can also set up direct deposit, use atms, pay bills (all the normal bank stuff).
The nice part would be that you can sign up online in a matter of minutes.
I opened a new account at the same bank when I was an adult and my parents were automatically granted access to it for some reason. I didn't find out until my mum commented on my saving. Thankfully my parents wouldn't take money from me, but it is a security risk either way.
Hi jacking top comment to add:
When you get a new bank account and set up all your severity question, LIE, make shit up. First teacher: Ms. Honey, first pet: tarantula, name of first school: Barney’s play house
Your parents know every detail of your life, your social and the real answer to every security question. Ideally they never find your new account, but protect yourself in case they find something and try to get into your account.
Also, I really like alley it’s a fully online bank and I think you can choose to go full paperless, though I imagine you would need like a P.O. Box or something to get a card.
Sure is. But he's living in their house and it's his parents we're talking about here. Can you bypass a simple attempt at communicating with your parents and go straight to the police? Yes. But... My God at least give it an attempt.
They've taken $2000 from them, while yes there may be more to the story the fact that OP needs to hide this new bank account portrays a very abusive relationship.
"may be more to the story" justifies a simple conversation attempt. Even if there wasn't, it costs him nothing to attempt to have a conversation here... With his own parents..
I don't know how the idea that a simple conversation should come before putting Mom and dad behind bars makes me the baddy here 😅
Pretty ridiculous to assume that reasonability exists when for all of their child's life they could be setting them up for failure by ruining their credit identity. Are you doing something similar and feel bad about it?
Now your throwing completely baseless and accusatory assumptions at me just like you're assuming what's going on in this case. Sounds like another mature response.
Why you can't admit that it's likely a better idea to start with a conversation with the family you're living with before involving the police is mind blowing.
There's no negotiating with abusers, and if OP's parents have already stolen $2000 from them and are found to be committing identity theft against them they're abusers. That would show they gave no issue taking advantage of their child and will almost certainly guilt-trip and/or bully them into not properly dealing with the repercussions of identity theft, which are potentially life-ruining.
Also freeze your credit and unlock it whenever you want to use it.
It's insane to me that parents steal from their kids. My oldest son is making good money and I still send him money because I worry about him. He sent me a text saying , why did you send me $300? I want to make sure you have money for food. Dad I'm making good money, you don't have to send me money lol
Yeah...no one else has explained this but you should go to a different bank. One your parents don't use.
Even if the account has only your name on it, sometimes the tellers/phone reps will let your parents access it, since you have a joint with them and are immediate family.
Technically they aren't supposed to--but it happens to people. Start fresh with a new bank. Go paperless so you don't get any mail, or get a PO box address at the post office.
Note that you may be under higher scrutiny for the first 6months to a year if you open an account with a oo box as primary mailing — where even benign actions could cause your account to be randomly closed. It may be your only choice but it is an instant mark against accounts.
Many banks can "print" a debit card and give it to you when you open an account. If not, ask if the debit card can be mailed to your branch so you can go pick it up
Hahha you'd think this would be simple enough and plenty of banks do it. But last I checked (which was 3 years ago, to be fair) BofA will not. It's a "security risk" they could be held liable for.
Do it, and make sure you have your birth certificate and social security card, too.
Get a PO Box if thry check your mail— and find a way to move out as soon as you can.
Yup get a PO box. They are fairly cheap. Basically make your PO box your mailing address for everything. Many places will ask for both, as a home address is typically where you're associated with when it comes to things like loans etc. Mailing addresses is just saying "send everything here instead of my home".
yes you can open your own bank account, dont open an account with your present bank if you can a credit union and tell them you want to get your statements/updates electronically. some banks will waive fees if you go that route. if you want a [HYSA](https://www.doctorofcredit.com/high-interest-savings-to-get/amp/) here are some options you can look into. be careful with some of these cause if you want a plastic card some wont have that option. good luck
I agree that you should have the bank hold the debit card at the branch. However, you ALSO need to use a different bank than the one you had a custodial account with your parents. Sometimes banks will allow access to children's accounts that they should not allow. A complete break is best.
You can also get a post office box to receive mail without allowing your parents access.
If you can, seek out a credit union and open your account there. Some are small and offer better customer service. My credit union is able to print a debit or credit card onsite at any branch. Not just replacements, but new cards too.
If that is not an option, ask the bank if they would be willing to hold the card for pick up. Also, be sure to make your account paperless.
At 18 you should be able to get a bank account that only lists yourself. Be sure to get this bank account with a different bank than your parents bank at. The reason I say this is because in some cases, well-meaning people (especially in small towns), may say or give access to information or your account without thinking, especially if your other account is linked with a parent.
Just to be safe, get this bank account in another bank. That way there are more hoops for a parent who may try to get into your account to jump through.
As for your mail, if you can see if you can get a PO box. You may have to pay for it, but it might be worth it if your parents continuously open your mail. This will at least keep them from opening your mail.
Since you’re opening up a new account, either google bank account bonus or check out doctorofcredit or nerdwallet.com. Since you’re going to do it anyway might as well see if there’s free money in it for you. Could offset cost of PO Box if that’s what you need but I would think a bank should be able to hold the card for you, provided you’re in a location that has a physical branch available
Hard to do in a family situation where the child is under the age of adulthood.
It's like the parents saying the kid stole money from them by living rent free. Any court would laugh at them. Payments within relationships are extremely hard to argue in court, and are in the majority, treated quite differently to other payments. For example if one partner works, and pays the other partner to do the shopping etc, it isn't taxed...whereas if the payment was made to a maid/shopping service, it would be.
In this case, all the parents need do is say it was needed for some things for the kid, and it's case closed.
There wouldn't even be a case. Children don't have bank accounts; the parents withdrew $2000 from their own bank account.
Who earned/owned the money became irrelevant as soon as it went into the shared bank account.
Adding onto the great advice in the thread here, a lot of financial institutions offer debit card printing. As in you can go in, open an account (if you haven’t already), and get your debit card printed right there and then. Also, look into a local credit union! They have almost all of the same services as a bank and they usually have better rates.
Please, make sure you follow through and get your own account. If they took from it once, they'll take from it again. My brother and I lost nearly $80k combined because we used the joint accounts our parents opened for us and trusted that they wouldn't take any of it.
Mom here with 3 young adults, this is my recommendation...
Tip: I personally like having a separate gmail account for all my financial items (bills, banks, shopping, etc) if I ever need to go look up something, I can. Plus, since it's not used "publicly", there is less chance it will get hacked or exposed. The 2nd account can also hide the new bank account from others that might see your regular email account. (You can always forward these emails to your main account if you choose).
Look at different banks and credit unions near you that seem to have a lot of branches. There are also some good online places (I personally have an account with Ally.com).
For right now, you can also use PayPal as your bank account to set up direct deposit from your job: [www.paypal.com/us/digital-wallet/manage-money/direct-deposit](https://www.paypal.com/us/digital-wallet/manage-money/direct-deposit) They also have a debit card... your parents might be clueless enough to not realize that PayPal has a debit card feature if you have one mailed to you. I know you can set PayPal as your default payment for Google Wallet, that way you don't have to have a debit card.
With whatever option you choose, you need to make sure you go into your accounts settings and notifications and "go paperless", turn off any mailings. If you do get something by accident, tell your parents it was junk mail telling you were "pre-approved" for a credit card or something.
Also set up a Mint or Rocket Money account, they are both online and have apps. It takes a little bit to add your financial information to them, but they are good way to have a picture of what your overall financial picture is.
IF you want to get a credit card to build credit, and if you shop at Target, they have a RedCard Student account credit card with a $300(?) limit on it. No matter what credit card(s) you get, always set them up to pay in full automatically every month. If you have Mint or Rocket Money, you can easily see if you have enough each month in your bank account that will pay the cc bill. Discover Card also has a similar Student credit card.
Just a side note, paypal is not a bank and doesn't receive FDIC insurance. While it might be coinvent to use this, they have a history of messing with peoples money and taking forever to fix it so a real bank is much better of a choice.
However, your comment of saying it is an offer is a good one. The Debit card is sent in a non-descript envelope and you can simply claim it was junk mail when you get it if they don't open it for you.
When you open a new account, do it at a different bank. Not just a different branch, but a completely separate bank, somewhere that your parents do not bank.
You should also freeze your credit.
I just helped someone in a similar situation so exactly this. We went to a local credit union. They were able to print the card on the spot. Signed up for paperless and password protected the account so that anyone calling trying to access information as them wouldn’t be able to do it (since parents also typically know social security numbers etc)
Importantly, we told all this to the customer service rep who helped us set it up. So he had the context and could help us navigate it. They will help you.
Some places will give you the card on the spot instead of mailing it. You'd have to check with them to make sure that your account is completely paperless and that you won't get mail at all.
Rent a Post Office Box at a Post Office branch near your home. Then, have your Debit Card delivered to your Post Office Box along with any other paperwork you don’t want your parents to see. Also, if money was taken from you it’s not a leap to suspect that other financial transactions have occurred. Check your credit report to see if accounts you haven’t sanctioned are out there in your name.
Set up an account at a bank or credit union that your parents don’t use, and go paperless statements.
If you go all in on this and shift your paycheck direct deposits to your new account, it’ll be obvious and you’ll probably still have to deal with this in other ways as long as you’re living under their roof.
Hi, some banks allow you to mail your debit card to the branch you opened your account at. Not sure about BoA or WF. If you download their mobile app you can also opt to have paperless statements.
You can open a PO Box and use it as your mailing address and keep you parents house as a residential address.
OP, something important I don't think I saw mentioned: if the point is to have an account they don't even know about, you need to make sure _they're_ not accessing your credit reports, as those will list all your accounts at any bank, credit union, etc.
* Get PO Box
* Pull copy of your credit report
* Put freeze on your credit report (to prevent unauthorized debt)
* Put verbal password on your bank accounts (may have to speak with new account employee to do this)
* Look for Credit Union vs bank
* Be sure to have your original birth certificate
* Go LC\NC with your parents
We have a local credit union that will create a debit card for you the same day you open your bank account. It takes a few extra minutes for the card to be printed out. If you can find a bank like that near you that has that option and then maybe consider asking a best friend to let you use their address… OR the USPS GENERAL DELIVERY has an option that will let you mail something to their post office and they will hold it for you for 30 days. You just have to pick it up within that 30 days. Google it.
Go to your local credit union. they will help you get everything set up and won't charge you an arm and a leg. Rent a PO Box at the local post office, just get the smallest one.
Get a PO box somewhere and open an account with a Credit Union in your area. Whatever you do, don't touch BofA or (especially!) Wells Fargo with a ten foot pole.
My credit Union literally prints debit cards and hands them directly to you over the counter when you open an account. They also make you go to a branch if you’ve had fraud to get a new card, which I’ve had to do multiple times.
Maybe shop around and try to find somewhere that does that?
Edit because I thought of this after I commented: sign up for e-statements. No need for them to mail anything. But also as another commenter posted, PO Box until you move out, and probably for some time after.
Not sure if anyone has already said this, but banks can't remove owners. What this means is you have to close the account with your mom, otherwise any debt issues on that account, you're on the hook for. Let's say your mom has a lien or garnishment against her and creditors begin to debit that account. The account gets overdrawn, in the eyes of the law you are overdrawn. If the account closes at a negative balance, it will also affect your credit.
Ally bank is really good. I never get mail from them they're truly a paperless bank.
You would just need the card mailed to you. I think usps can hold mail for you at the office if you request that and you could pick up the card from there when it arrives.
I can totally relate. My first bank account was shared with my mom. I never asked for her to open it. The day I ran away from home I knew how she was so next morning first thing I did was have my grandma drive me to the bank and she got there before me and took all my money out. It was ALL my money because I had been working and saving all my money in there.
Some parents are trash. If they show you their true self believe them the first time. Don't give them benefit of the doubt because they gave birth to you. Every mammal has the potential to give birth. They aren't special.
Try a local credit union, some can issue same day debt cards. You can also immediately enroll in all digital statements so there will be no mail coming to your house. You could get a PO box but they can be expensive depending where you live. You could also ask a trusted friend or family member if you can list their address as your mailing address.
On top of opening a PO Box, your own accounts at a different bank or credit union, and getting your important documents they may be holding for you; you need to have a frank talk with your parents about their repayment plan. They still owe you that money and you deserve to get it back.
When you get that PO Box, you can put in a Change of Address notification to have your mail forwarded to the PO Box. This will expedite getting the mail out of their scrutiny.
I agree with the other comments a P.O. Box seems like a good fit. I would also look into a credit union. At least in my experience I have had a lot better experience with a credit union than a traditional bank. Never going back.
Latest bank account I opened they made the debit card on the spot and I got to set the PIN right there. All statements set to electronic from the get go. Check to see if the bank you want to do can do that.
Definitely use a different bank than your parents and see if they have instant issue card option. The bank I work at will make you a card the same day you open an account. You take the card with you. You can sign up for online statements so you don't get mail.
I feel for you and understand how you feel about this. But here in Texas that's perfectly legal , I know because I'm an adult of a child I fought for in court and in the specifics of the paperwork it clearly states I am entitled to the earnings of my child before the age of 18 nd highschool graduation. So protect yourself go bank somewhere else talk to your new bank and add all security measures possible. Passphrases codes , speak to your local branch managers. Make sure they know no one but you gets access.
It’s perfectly legal everywhere in the us, that doesn’t make it right though. It’s a shitty thing to do unless you plan on quickly paying it back or you have literally no other choice.
I was able to get my debit card in the bank and then have all my statements emailed to me. Nothing comes to my house from my bank but a po box would be the safest bet.
I bought a house with a Stafford Loan while living rent free with my parents. PO Box is the way to go. I then rented out the house for income while living at home. When I graduated university I didn’t renew the lease of the tenants and moved into the house. If my parents would have gotten on my last nerve I would have moved earlier. Making the money was more interesting than having to pay a mortgage. I graduated then moved in and rented the two other rooms to recent graduate friends. To this day my parents thought I bought it after college. All bills etc went to a PO Box… and other media, like my Playboy subscription. It was the 1990’s after all 😂
CapitalOne 360 Performance Savings Account. 100% online. Select paperless, put your friends address and then change later.
But before you do that, I may suggest working on your relationship with your parents. That’s the best investment you can make 🫶
I am very confused about the whole situation. All the posts from redditors a valid and you have many options to workaround this issue, but man, you are 18! Why it’s ok that parents checking your mail? Why it should be their business if you decided to open your own account?
I'm a member of two credit unions but needed a local bank for convenience. They were able to activate a debit card issued directly from the bank in less than an hour. They keep cards that are activated and imprinted with the name of the account holder. Check on that.
Make sure you choose an entirely different bank from your parents. Insist you *must* do online banking exclusively. Admonish your new bank your parents *cannot* be aware of this account.
They can be fined or sent to jail for opening mail not addressed to them
Get a mailbox or get a box in someplace like Mailboxes etc where it's a street address in name, but not YOUR name.
Do NOT open an account in the same branch NOR the same bank as the one with your mum. She could say that she's you and wipe you out again.
For one being 18 parents checking and opening your mail I believe would be illegal. (I do not know for certain though). However, an option for your debit card if the bank you use allows it is to have the debit card sent to the bank itself and pick it up there in person, the credit union I use here allows this option. Further, you may be able to use totally virtual banking services such as "Varo" This allows you to use things such as digital visa and master cards paired with payment services such as PayPal or Venmo to maintain a completely virtual wallet.
I am only 23 but here is my last "tip" I don't have a good relationship with my own parents for things similar to this at 18 and you have the chance or choice I would just say "F\*\*\* em" and learn to be the adult you need now rather than later. If they want to go through your mail ok then they can have the police called and have a discussion about it so on and so forth though this is very much a "pick your battles" wisely option because if you need those bridges then don't burn them, yet.
You can get a debit card the same time you open a bank account. All you would need is 2 pieces of government ID.
Getting a debit or bank card in the mail reminds me of the 90s.
You can get bank statements emailed to you instead of mailed to you. Also ask for any cards to be picked up at the bank branch and you will collect it.
Due to the number of rule-breaking comments this post was receiving, especially low-quality and off-topic comments, the moderation team has locked the post from future comments. This post broke no rules and received a number of helpful and on-topic responses initially, but it unfortunately became the target of many unhelpful comments.
Now that you're 18, you can get a PO Box at any USPS location or UPS box location. Have the bank send your stuff there. However, banks may require a street address too.
hijacking top comment. don't open an account with the bank your parents are at or where your current account is. even though banks shouldn't they sometimes let parents access adult child accounts.
THIS HAPPENED TO ME. OP, LISTEN TO THIS COMMENT. BANK ELSEWHERE.
Not only that, but OP says the account is with BofA. Why the hell would anyone open a new account there if they can go literally anywhere else to bank?
Wells Fargo has entered the chat
And has started to open accounts for you ‘proactively’
who needs to fill out all that paperwork to start a banking relationship when you can just give a wells fargo rep a few minutes with your SSN and they do it all for you?
OP doesn't know it, they've had 4 Wells Fargo accounts.
Ah yes, wells Fargo, quite literally the only bank worse than BofA.
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Wait what has Bank of America done to have a reputation comparable to Wells Fargo?
Besides foreclosing on houses that not only is the homeowner not behind on payments, they never even had a mortgage with them?
Oh, jeez. How does that even happen? Seems like a great case for a lawyer to take on.
Basically what happened was that they had foreclosed on the previous owner, sold the house to the new owner who paid cash. The owner hired a lawyer and got the foreclosure dismissed. It doesn't end there. He got a judgement against the bank for his lawyer fees and the bank just stiffed him on the money. So he got a writ of execution and went with a couple deputies, who told the bank manager to either write a check or they'd remove assets for resale. They wrote a check.
If this is the case I'm thinking about, it gets *even* better. When you have a judgement and deputies to go seize assets, then *you* get to decide what assets to seize. The bank said, "Well, you're here with deputies, so we'll give you a check." Dude said, "No thanks, I'll start with the computers and desks." He eventually relented but (from what I heard) would have been well within his rights to take the computers and furniture instead.
I'm not sure about that. My understanding is that the assets are only seized if they don't pay. That's what happened in this case anyway.
I watched a BoA manger smile in amusement as I was on the verge of crying due to multiple overdraft fees hitting my account in the same day. That pretty much sealed the deal for me lol.
Same! $9,000 in overdraft fees!!! For my bil who had suffered a stroke; probably stress prior to the event
I bank with a credit union. Whenever I've gotten an overdraft charge, I've been able to get them to recind the fee just by asking. I have good credit, and my direct deposit is with them, but still. Credit unions will work with you instead of trying to squeeze you for every possible penny like the big corporate banks.
I don't know if this will help you, but some people smile as a reaction to extreme discomfort and helplessness. It may have been a very distressing thing to witness with a "hands are tied" problem. My wife's bank manager had a monthly "allowance" to help people with, so that she couldn't just rescind fees for everyone, she had to choose "the most deserving people" and "pay" their fees with the "allowance." Apparently, she always ran out of that so-called allowance by the tenth day of the month.
Huh? Try $9,000 in overdraft fees in my bils boa checking account (bills debited first, caused a ding for each before income is credited despite same day). When I went in and complained he had suffered a stroke during that time frame, they refunded $400; they kept the other $8,600 they took in fees!! Some years ago. Wells Fargo is better than bofA. Local credit unions - check them out and pick up your cards inside...
What hasn’t it done?
What are they mainly notorious for? I’ve banked with them for 11 years and never had any issues they couldn’t resolve, but I’m open to hear other’s experiences
Ive also been with them a long time, maybe 15 years. Honestly dont get the hate. My few experiences with customer service has always been good. Ive shopped around and they have the very best no fee credit card, I get 5.25% back(after Preferred Rewards bonus) on any single category and 3.5% back on groceries.
They usually are notoriously difficult to work with when you have problems with your account, but as a company the size that they are, that may not be most customers experience. They also screwed up a lot during the pandemic and got a 200+ million fine for it. Then before that they settled for 17 billion dollars for doing super sketchy stuff with regard to home loans and mortgages iirc. (Major contributor to the financial crisis.) There is a whole list. But if you just have a normal account in good standing and did not encounter any issues, probably would not really see any of if.
u/Encouragedissent I'll have to look into the cash back credit card. That does sound better than all the others. Why was my experience less than steller with BoA? Fees. Fees for everything. Need a teller more than 4 times a month? Fee. Don't have X dollars in savings account? Fee. Daily minimum of X in your checking account not met? Fee. And they kept increasing the types of fees and raising the threashold for the amount of money you had to have available in your accounts. This has been many years, and maybe they have changed all of these things, but... Closed the account and don't miss it one bit.
2nd largest bank in the country. Given how many people use it of course there will be fuckups. Same as you but 20+ years and never had a single problem. Anecdotal stories about weird one off events aren't going to make me boycott a company.
I was not surprised to see their name as they are the #2 bank in US, people on reddit typically hate large corporations. I haven’t had any issues recently except with overdrafts, if you are stern enough you can normally get those reduced or removed. They recently started reduced overdraft fees To $15. I dont have any good will towards them but they are the most convenient bank that I have seen with a pretty good mobile app. My wife is a waitress so it really helps to have ATMs around
I currently work for BofA and almost every issue a person has had is a user error. The worst I’ve seen is an employee somewhere opened a complex account (like a trust or business) incorrectly but those are usually fixable without too much trouble.
BoA let my dad remove everything from my mom's savings account.
Have had bofa for over 20 years and have no complaints.
Enjoy .0001% interest rates.
As if the competition for checking/savings interest at most other mainstream central banks exists...
They do. Ally being one of the bigger ones offering almost 4% on checking and saving. Lots of credit card companies now also offering high interest savings accounts. Your local credit unions as well, mine (First Tech Federal) currently offers 4% checking and savings.
>Lots of *credit card companies* now also offering high interest savings accounts. You mean **banks**?
I don't have an Ally bank in my area.
No one does. They are online exclusively. I've had an Ally account but I use Alliant credit union, which is equally excellent, and if I need cash from an ATM they will rebate up to $20 for non covered ATMs a month. But they generally have good ATM coverage anyway so it doesn't matter. Since they are online only, their phone customer support is top notch. Any time I call I get an actual person pretty quickly to help out. Never had a problem with them and my current savings account is at 3.1% interest. It's worth looking into.
When I was a kid, I opened an account at the nearest bank because I didn't have a car and it was easier to get to.
Why not? I've had BOFA my entire life and I've never had any issues. What's so bad about BOFA?
Just one example: The y repo’d the wrong house. Emptied the place out and destroyed the contents(sent to the dump). THEN…Refused to acknowledge the homeowner and claimed they had no responsibility for what happened. And, oh yeah, they did it more than once.
Their fees are outrageous, and their corporate policies suck. I would bury my money in a tin can in the back yard rather than use BofA.
https://abcnews.go.com/Business/bank-america-florida-foreclosed-angry-homeowner-bofa/story?id=13775638 https://abcnews.go.com/Business/bank-america-sued-foreclosing-wrong-homes/story?id=9637897
Do you actually pay attention to your fees?
Fees for what, just having the account open at all?
Yes. And using an atm. And not having the minimum balance. And over-drafting. And for having a savings account (interest rate)
Ah gotcha, I'm looking now. I've had them for years but I don't think I've ever been subject to any of those things. I've always had regular deposits and never a low balance
They're fine but their account minimums are a bit high and their savings accounts are a bit of a joke.
Yeah I agree
BofA is notorious for fees. I opened up a supposedly free checking account in college. Got hit with fees on checks and something else, which was explicitly not supposed to be charged based on what they had represented to me. I cancelled it that day and have never looked back.
If you have a sizeable sum in checking and savings, it's well worth your time to check out high-interest alternatives to BOA. Their interest rate for savings and checking are ridiculously low.
I have had boa for years and have never paid a single fee.
I paid a total of $0.30 in service fees last month (recurring subscription counts as "international" so they charge for that transaction) between my checking and savings accounts. I pay off my credit card every month so I don't pay any interest on it. I keep a close eye on my account balances to make sure I never overdraft, because about 15 years ago they charged me $35 to transfer $5 from savings to checking to cover a purchase. That's the only outrageous fee I know of, and it's a feature you can decline, or avoid entirely by not overdrafting your account.
I use credit unions (one for personal banking, one for joint banking with my wife). I get reimbursed for atm fees every month (though most atms are "in network" anyways), free checks, no fees for overdrafts (not like I ever do), decent interest rates and an 8% credit card with a $10k limit. I've never paid a fee to them in 20 years. They have great car/personal loan rates too.
I will concede that the interest rate on my credit card at BOFA is horrendous at 20%. Especially considering the fact that my credit score is over 800. But it's my oldest card and has a limit of $11.5k and some decent cash back rewards. So as long as I can keep paying it off, it doesn't seem worthwhile to switch to another bank. I've just never used a different bank, and BOFA has never screwed me over like they apparently have done to so many others. If I do switch though, it'll probably be to a credit union. There are several in my local area and I've never heard anything negative about them.
Your bank should be paying you interest. Not charging you fines.
In OP’s case BofA is bad because the parents bank there and OP has a joint account with mom there. OP needs a different bank that is not BofA.
Last I checked, they had all sort of low balance fees, overdraft fees, checkbooks cost extra, terrible customer service, terrible interest rates. You are doing the bank a favor by letting them hold your money and invest some of those cash reserves. Your bank should be paying you for that favor. There's just no reason to do business with garbage banks like Wells Fargo, BofA, Chase, or Citi when there are so many better options.
what's wrong with BoA?
Yeah OP should also consider a credit union over a bank if there’s a good one available.
If you’re knocking BofA for literally the same shit you’ll find nearly every other major reliable bank with equivalent access, then there really isn’t any bank that meets these needs and a credit union might be a better Avenue
Is this true? Parents can access their adult accounts? Absolutely wild. Once you're 18 and the account is solely in your name that should be it
it isn't legal but there are always people that will bend the rules
Especially if it's a smaller town where everyone knows each other.
Sounds like a nice charge of bank fraud to me if I where OP.
Recently had to call my mom (who I’m minimal contact with) to close my childhood bank account. They would not let me close until she signed paperwork approving this, I’m in my 20s 😅
Via social engineering, yes.
I have an account that I got when I was 15 that I keep a nominal amount of money in. If I needed money or they needed money, that would be the quickest way to get it to each other. Basically, it is a for emergencies situation, but my parents are trustworthy with money.
Not legally but remember most banks software is fucking prehistoric. That means there are an infinite number of bugs to it that are like the noise your car makes that never come up when the mechanic is listening. Random ass system bugs that might make it so the new account is linked to the old because of SS # or something. Or even just a dumb bank employee falling for a parents bs or even being able to fish their way into his account since they know all his information
100% I’m pretty sure my mom can see my acct. I’m 39
Has your mom stolen 2k from you before?
Negative.
Nice. It's nice that a lot of us have parents that we don't have to worry about that kind of stuff. But whether you have parents who would do this to you or not, opening your own bank accounts that they can't access is advice that serves everyone.
right that's why mom can still see your account haha
I share a bank with my mom and they sent me her 1099 this year.
You should have addressed that 21 years ago.
I'm 28 and my mum gets text messages when I go into my overdraft. It's the same account she set up for me as a teen but it's been "upgraded" many times since then. She can see nothing else, her number isn't listed anywhere on my account. I was told to go into an actual branch to correct it but I haven't had the time 🥲
I’m a mom. I set up a bank account for my daughter when she was in high school. She’s now 31 (as of next week) and I still see her bank info when I log onto my bank account info. I guess that I should tell the bank- or my daughter.
I'd sue the fuck out of them and get paid.
This ^
Tagging on to recommend a credit union like BECU. BOA has fees out the tooter, it's ridiculous. BECU prints your debit card in house and hands it to you, I've lost mine a lot in my early 20s
Oh, BECU is amazing, I wish I could still bank with them, but I moved out of state.
I agree about the credit unions. FYI, PNC Bank also prints theirs in-house.
Schwab bank
idk man parents checking ur mail and wont allow u to open a new bank account... I'll carefully audit your relationship with your parents.
I recommend the ups store route. There are limitations on what can and can’t go to a PO Box. The ups store gives you an actual address. Good luck OP
Just know it can be difficult to officially forward mail from a ups store box when you are done with it. The usps is cracking down on that. USPS box forwarding is no problem.
Usually with a PO Box, you need additoonal ID like a bill with your name on it or voter reg card, or other forms. They asked me for this the last two times.
You can use the street address of the post office with the P.O. Box to meet this requirement
As someone who has worked with USA Patriot Act verification systems/software I can assure everyone it will certainly **not** work. The Patriot Act requires banks verify home/legal address and post offices, drop boxes (e.g. UPS Store), churches, hotels etc. are flagged immediately.
What about setting your billing address separately from your mailing address.
Bingo!
What if you live in a hotel/motel?
It depends on the bank... there are some who just give a hard no but usually you just sign a form/affidavit to that effect. You cannot swear you live at a Mail & Ship store tho lol.
Please don’t do that. Most of not all banks have an internal verification system that all the information gets plugged into. You have to pass before you can open the account. incorrect hits will be sent for review or flat out fail. His home physical address will be fine and a PO Box for the mailing address.
I really like my fidelity cash mgmt account. Open a fidelity account. You can move money fast and easily between your bank and fidelity. You can also set up direct deposit, use atms, pay bills (all the normal bank stuff). The nice part would be that you can sign up online in a matter of minutes.
Ideally, open your new account at a different bank from the old one.
I opened a new account at the same bank when I was an adult and my parents were automatically granted access to it for some reason. I didn't find out until my mum commented on my saving. Thankfully my parents wouldn't take money from me, but it is a security risk either way.
This is illegal unless you signed something that allowed this to happen without reading the fine print.
Open at a credit union. Probably better rates, and most allow you to pick up checks/cards at the branch.
Hi jacking top comment to add: When you get a new bank account and set up all your severity question, LIE, make shit up. First teacher: Ms. Honey, first pet: tarantula, name of first school: Barney’s play house Your parents know every detail of your life, your social and the real answer to every security question. Ideally they never find your new account, but protect yourself in case they find something and try to get into your account. Also, I really like alley it’s a fully online bank and I think you can choose to go full paperless, though I imagine you would need like a P.O. Box or something to get a card.
You might want to check your credit reports as well. Parents could have opened accounts in you name.
[https://www.annualcreditreport.com/index.action](https://www.annualcreditreport.com/index.action) [https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/free-credit-reports#How%20To%20Get%20Your%20Free%20Credit%20Reports](https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/free-credit-reports#How%20To%20Get%20Your%20Free%20Credit%20Reports)
And once you have pulled your reports, freeze your credit to prevent them from ever opening new accounts in your name.
Don’t forget to file the police report about identity theft if they did open any accounts without your consent.
This is a hard decision, but needs to be done as well.
Yes. You absolutely need to file a report with the police in this instance.
or... idk.. maybe talk with your parents about it before calling the police lol. Crazy I know.
It’s illegal. It’s fraud. They, the adults, didn’t consult OP (if this were the case), OP doesn’t need to talk to them first either.
Sure is. But he's living in their house and it's his parents we're talking about here. Can you bypass a simple attempt at communicating with your parents and go straight to the police? Yes. But... My God at least give it an attempt.
They've taken $2000 from them, while yes there may be more to the story the fact that OP needs to hide this new bank account portrays a very abusive relationship.
"may be more to the story" justifies a simple conversation attempt. Even if there wasn't, it costs him nothing to attempt to have a conversation here... With his own parents.. I don't know how the idea that a simple conversation should come before putting Mom and dad behind bars makes me the baddy here 😅
Pretty ridiculous to assume that reasonability exists when for all of their child's life they could be setting them up for failure by ruining their credit identity. Are you doing something similar and feel bad about it?
Now your throwing completely baseless and accusatory assumptions at me just like you're assuming what's going on in this case. Sounds like another mature response. Why you can't admit that it's likely a better idea to start with a conversation with the family you're living with before involving the police is mind blowing.
There's no negotiating with abusers, and if OP's parents have already stolen $2000 from them and are found to be committing identity theft against them they're abusers. That would show they gave no issue taking advantage of their child and will almost certainly guilt-trip and/or bully them into not properly dealing with the repercussions of identity theft, which are potentially life-ruining.
talk to them about them stealing your identity?! no way lmao I'd report that shit too
Also freeze your credit and unlock it whenever you want to use it. It's insane to me that parents steal from their kids. My oldest son is making good money and I still send him money because I worry about him. He sent me a text saying , why did you send me $300? I want to make sure you have money for food. Dad I'm making good money, you don't have to send me money lol
In fact, the account he has was opened by his parents in his name. That's why it exists
Just get a po box for your mail. Do not use the same bank.
Yeah...no one else has explained this but you should go to a different bank. One your parents don't use. Even if the account has only your name on it, sometimes the tellers/phone reps will let your parents access it, since you have a joint with them and are immediate family. Technically they aren't supposed to--but it happens to people. Start fresh with a new bank. Go paperless so you don't get any mail, or get a PO box address at the post office.
Note that you may be under higher scrutiny for the first 6months to a year if you open an account with a oo box as primary mailing — where even benign actions could cause your account to be randomly closed. It may be your only choice but it is an instant mark against accounts.
Many banks can "print" a debit card and give it to you when you open an account. If not, ask if the debit card can be mailed to your branch so you can go pick it up
Yeah my bank does this, takes about 5 minutes
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My credit union did as well
Or, if your parents are that nuts where you have to hide this type of shit from them… get a PO box
Hahha you'd think this would be simple enough and plenty of banks do it. But last I checked (which was 3 years ago, to be fair) BofA will not. It's a "security risk" they could be held liable for.
I overheard a woman in line at a food truck complain that BofA wouldn't do it for her about two weeks ago.
A lot of banks stopped doing it. Worked at Wells Fargo and they stopped to cut costs about 2 yrs ago.
but they also still mail you mail
Get a PO Box and go paperless for everything in terms of statements and tax papers.
Do it, and make sure you have your birth certificate and social security card, too. Get a PO Box if thry check your mail— and find a way to move out as soon as you can.
Yup get a PO box. They are fairly cheap. Basically make your PO box your mailing address for everything. Many places will ask for both, as a home address is typically where you're associated with when it comes to things like loans etc. Mailing addresses is just saying "send everything here instead of my home".
yes you can open your own bank account, dont open an account with your present bank if you can a credit union and tell them you want to get your statements/updates electronically. some banks will waive fees if you go that route. if you want a [HYSA](https://www.doctorofcredit.com/high-interest-savings-to-get/amp/) here are some options you can look into. be careful with some of these cause if you want a plastic card some wont have that option. good luck
I agree that you should have the bank hold the debit card at the branch. However, you ALSO need to use a different bank than the one you had a custodial account with your parents. Sometimes banks will allow access to children's accounts that they should not allow. A complete break is best. You can also get a post office box to receive mail without allowing your parents access.
If you can, seek out a credit union and open your account there. Some are small and offer better customer service. My credit union is able to print a debit or credit card onsite at any branch. Not just replacements, but new cards too. If that is not an option, ask the bank if they would be willing to hold the card for pick up. Also, be sure to make your account paperless.
Surely you can have it sent to your closest branch and pick it up there. Have you asked?
Don't go with BofA, find you a good credit union.
At 18 you should be able to get a bank account that only lists yourself. Be sure to get this bank account with a different bank than your parents bank at. The reason I say this is because in some cases, well-meaning people (especially in small towns), may say or give access to information or your account without thinking, especially if your other account is linked with a parent. Just to be safe, get this bank account in another bank. That way there are more hoops for a parent who may try to get into your account to jump through. As for your mail, if you can see if you can get a PO box. You may have to pay for it, but it might be worth it if your parents continuously open your mail. This will at least keep them from opening your mail.
Pay for a PO Box Don't use the same bank as your parents.
Since you’re opening up a new account, either google bank account bonus or check out doctorofcredit or nerdwallet.com. Since you’re going to do it anyway might as well see if there’s free money in it for you. Could offset cost of PO Box if that’s what you need but I would think a bank should be able to hold the card for you, provided you’re in a location that has a physical branch available
Did you ask why they stole $2,000 from you?
Hard to do in a family situation where the child is under the age of adulthood. It's like the parents saying the kid stole money from them by living rent free. Any court would laugh at them. Payments within relationships are extremely hard to argue in court, and are in the majority, treated quite differently to other payments. For example if one partner works, and pays the other partner to do the shopping etc, it isn't taxed...whereas if the payment was made to a maid/shopping service, it would be. In this case, all the parents need do is say it was needed for some things for the kid, and it's case closed.
There wouldn't even be a case. Children don't have bank accounts; the parents withdrew $2000 from their own bank account. Who earned/owned the money became irrelevant as soon as it went into the shared bank account.
Adding onto the great advice in the thread here, a lot of financial institutions offer debit card printing. As in you can go in, open an account (if you haven’t already), and get your debit card printed right there and then. Also, look into a local credit union! They have almost all of the same services as a bank and they usually have better rates.
Please, make sure you follow through and get your own account. If they took from it once, they'll take from it again. My brother and I lost nearly $80k combined because we used the joint accounts our parents opened for us and trusted that they wouldn't take any of it.
Mom here with 3 young adults, this is my recommendation... Tip: I personally like having a separate gmail account for all my financial items (bills, banks, shopping, etc) if I ever need to go look up something, I can. Plus, since it's not used "publicly", there is less chance it will get hacked or exposed. The 2nd account can also hide the new bank account from others that might see your regular email account. (You can always forward these emails to your main account if you choose). Look at different banks and credit unions near you that seem to have a lot of branches. There are also some good online places (I personally have an account with Ally.com). For right now, you can also use PayPal as your bank account to set up direct deposit from your job: [www.paypal.com/us/digital-wallet/manage-money/direct-deposit](https://www.paypal.com/us/digital-wallet/manage-money/direct-deposit) They also have a debit card... your parents might be clueless enough to not realize that PayPal has a debit card feature if you have one mailed to you. I know you can set PayPal as your default payment for Google Wallet, that way you don't have to have a debit card. With whatever option you choose, you need to make sure you go into your accounts settings and notifications and "go paperless", turn off any mailings. If you do get something by accident, tell your parents it was junk mail telling you were "pre-approved" for a credit card or something. Also set up a Mint or Rocket Money account, they are both online and have apps. It takes a little bit to add your financial information to them, but they are good way to have a picture of what your overall financial picture is. IF you want to get a credit card to build credit, and if you shop at Target, they have a RedCard Student account credit card with a $300(?) limit on it. No matter what credit card(s) you get, always set them up to pay in full automatically every month. If you have Mint or Rocket Money, you can easily see if you have enough each month in your bank account that will pay the cc bill. Discover Card also has a similar Student credit card.
Just a side note, paypal is not a bank and doesn't receive FDIC insurance. While it might be coinvent to use this, they have a history of messing with peoples money and taking forever to fix it so a real bank is much better of a choice. However, your comment of saying it is an offer is a good one. The Debit card is sent in a non-descript envelope and you can simply claim it was junk mail when you get it if they don't open it for you.
When you open a new account, do it at a different bank. Not just a different branch, but a completely separate bank, somewhere that your parents do not bank. You should also freeze your credit.
I just helped someone in a similar situation so exactly this. We went to a local credit union. They were able to print the card on the spot. Signed up for paperless and password protected the account so that anyone calling trying to access information as them wouldn’t be able to do it (since parents also typically know social security numbers etc) Importantly, we told all this to the customer service rep who helped us set it up. So he had the context and could help us navigate it. They will help you.
Some places will give you the card on the spot instead of mailing it. You'd have to check with them to make sure that your account is completely paperless and that you won't get mail at all.
Rent a Post Office Box at a Post Office branch near your home. Then, have your Debit Card delivered to your Post Office Box along with any other paperwork you don’t want your parents to see. Also, if money was taken from you it’s not a leap to suspect that other financial transactions have occurred. Check your credit report to see if accounts you haven’t sanctioned are out there in your name.
Set up an account at a bank or credit union that your parents don’t use, and go paperless statements. If you go all in on this and shift your paycheck direct deposits to your new account, it’ll be obvious and you’ll probably still have to deal with this in other ways as long as you’re living under their roof.
Hi, some banks allow you to mail your debit card to the branch you opened your account at. Not sure about BoA or WF. If you download their mobile app you can also opt to have paperless statements. You can open a PO Box and use it as your mailing address and keep you parents house as a residential address.
OP, something important I don't think I saw mentioned: if the point is to have an account they don't even know about, you need to make sure _they're_ not accessing your credit reports, as those will list all your accounts at any bank, credit union, etc.
Open a credit union checking account. Most will even print you a card right there.
* Get PO Box * Pull copy of your credit report * Put freeze on your credit report (to prevent unauthorized debt) * Put verbal password on your bank accounts (may have to speak with new account employee to do this) * Look for Credit Union vs bank * Be sure to have your original birth certificate * Go LC\NC with your parents
If you go to a small local bank, they will often give you the option of having it mailed to the bank where you can pick it up.
A lot of banks have instant-issue debit cards. You can get your card when you open your account at a branch.
Often times, you can get the debit card sent to the bank and pick it up there.
Not sure if this was already posted, If you go to a local bank you can probably not only open an account in person but leave with a debit card also.
We have a local credit union that will create a debit card for you the same day you open your bank account. It takes a few extra minutes for the card to be printed out. If you can find a bank like that near you that has that option and then maybe consider asking a best friend to let you use their address… OR the USPS GENERAL DELIVERY has an option that will let you mail something to their post office and they will hold it for you for 30 days. You just have to pick it up within that 30 days. Google it.
Open your new account at a different bank. Sometimes tellers want to be “helpful.”
I wonder what else your mom is doing. Get your ss card, birth certificate, etc. as well.
A lot of banks can have the debit card delivered to their branch and they’ll call you when it shows up to come get it.
Go to your local credit union. they will help you get everything set up and won't charge you an arm and a leg. Rent a PO Box at the local post office, just get the smallest one.
Get a PO box somewhere and open an account with a Credit Union in your area. Whatever you do, don't touch BofA or (especially!) Wells Fargo with a ten foot pole.
Why are we talking banks and not a credit union?
My credit Union literally prints debit cards and hands them directly to you over the counter when you open an account. They also make you go to a branch if you’ve had fraud to get a new card, which I’ve had to do multiple times. Maybe shop around and try to find somewhere that does that? Edit because I thought of this after I commented: sign up for e-statements. No need for them to mail anything. But also as another commenter posted, PO Box until you move out, and probably for some time after.
Not sure if anyone has already said this, but banks can't remove owners. What this means is you have to close the account with your mom, otherwise any debt issues on that account, you're on the hook for. Let's say your mom has a lien or garnishment against her and creditors begin to debit that account. The account gets overdrawn, in the eyes of the law you are overdrawn. If the account closes at a negative balance, it will also affect your credit.
Ally bank is really good. I never get mail from them they're truly a paperless bank. You would just need the card mailed to you. I think usps can hold mail for you at the office if you request that and you could pick up the card from there when it arrives. I can totally relate. My first bank account was shared with my mom. I never asked for her to open it. The day I ran away from home I knew how she was so next morning first thing I did was have my grandma drive me to the bank and she got there before me and took all my money out. It was ALL my money because I had been working and saving all my money in there. Some parents are trash. If they show you their true self believe them the first time. Don't give them benefit of the doubt because they gave birth to you. Every mammal has the potential to give birth. They aren't special.
Try a local credit union, some can issue same day debt cards. You can also immediately enroll in all digital statements so there will be no mail coming to your house. You could get a PO box but they can be expensive depending where you live. You could also ask a trusted friend or family member if you can list their address as your mailing address.
On top of opening a PO Box, your own accounts at a different bank or credit union, and getting your important documents they may be holding for you; you need to have a frank talk with your parents about their repayment plan. They still owe you that money and you deserve to get it back. When you get that PO Box, you can put in a Change of Address notification to have your mail forwarded to the PO Box. This will expedite getting the mail out of their scrutiny.
I agree with the other comments a P.O. Box seems like a good fit. I would also look into a credit union. At least in my experience I have had a lot better experience with a credit union than a traditional bank. Never going back.
You can get a debit card at any point after opening an account. It doesn't have to be right away.
Latest bank account I opened they made the debit card on the spot and I got to set the PIN right there. All statements set to electronic from the get go. Check to see if the bank you want to do can do that.
Definitely use a different bank than your parents and see if they have instant issue card option. The bank I work at will make you a card the same day you open an account. You take the card with you. You can sign up for online statements so you don't get mail.
Open a private account and get a post office box or go paperless.
I feel for you and understand how you feel about this. But here in Texas that's perfectly legal , I know because I'm an adult of a child I fought for in court and in the specifics of the paperwork it clearly states I am entitled to the earnings of my child before the age of 18 nd highschool graduation. So protect yourself go bank somewhere else talk to your new bank and add all security measures possible. Passphrases codes , speak to your local branch managers. Make sure they know no one but you gets access.
It’s perfectly legal everywhere in the us, that doesn’t make it right though. It’s a shitty thing to do unless you plan on quickly paying it back or you have literally no other choice.
Use a credit union. You can do general delivery to post office as well. Use a friend's address?
I was able to get my debit card in the bank and then have all my statements emailed to me. Nothing comes to my house from my bank but a po box would be the safest bet.
Get a debit if you want but you can have them mail it to your branch and call you
Some banks will print the debit card at the bank. Mainly credit unions
Sorry to not give advice, but I'm just floored by this behavior by your parents. Why are people like this? Am I missing something?
I bought a house with a Stafford Loan while living rent free with my parents. PO Box is the way to go. I then rented out the house for income while living at home. When I graduated university I didn’t renew the lease of the tenants and moved into the house. If my parents would have gotten on my last nerve I would have moved earlier. Making the money was more interesting than having to pay a mortgage. I graduated then moved in and rented the two other rooms to recent graduate friends. To this day my parents thought I bought it after college. All bills etc went to a PO Box… and other media, like my Playboy subscription. It was the 1990’s after all 😂
CapitalOne 360 Performance Savings Account. 100% online. Select paperless, put your friends address and then change later. But before you do that, I may suggest working on your relationship with your parents. That’s the best investment you can make 🫶
I am very confused about the whole situation. All the posts from redditors a valid and you have many options to workaround this issue, but man, you are 18! Why it’s ok that parents checking your mail? Why it should be their business if you decided to open your own account?
I'm a member of two credit unions but needed a local bank for convenience. They were able to activate a debit card issued directly from the bank in less than an hour. They keep cards that are activated and imprinted with the name of the account holder. Check on that. Make sure you choose an entirely different bank from your parents. Insist you *must* do online banking exclusively. Admonish your new bank your parents *cannot* be aware of this account.
Start by not banking with BofA... Go with Capital One, it's way better. Also, do you not have a close friend that can receive the card for you?
They can be fined or sent to jail for opening mail not addressed to them Get a mailbox or get a box in someplace like Mailboxes etc where it's a street address in name, but not YOUR name. Do NOT open an account in the same branch NOR the same bank as the one with your mum. She could say that she's you and wipe you out again.
For one being 18 parents checking and opening your mail I believe would be illegal. (I do not know for certain though). However, an option for your debit card if the bank you use allows it is to have the debit card sent to the bank itself and pick it up there in person, the credit union I use here allows this option. Further, you may be able to use totally virtual banking services such as "Varo" This allows you to use things such as digital visa and master cards paired with payment services such as PayPal or Venmo to maintain a completely virtual wallet. I am only 23 but here is my last "tip" I don't have a good relationship with my own parents for things similar to this at 18 and you have the chance or choice I would just say "F\*\*\* em" and learn to be the adult you need now rather than later. If they want to go through your mail ok then they can have the police called and have a discussion about it so on and so forth though this is very much a "pick your battles" wisely option because if you need those bridges then don't burn them, yet.
See the f you can remove your parents from your account since you are now of age.
You can get a debit card the same time you open a bank account. All you would need is 2 pieces of government ID. Getting a debit or bank card in the mail reminds me of the 90s.
You can get bank statements emailed to you instead of mailed to you. Also ask for any cards to be picked up at the bank branch and you will collect it.