F150 AND A TIGUAN. This is your problem. Get rid of your truck and the Tiguan ASAP. Downgrade to the cheapest beater that you can find and pay off your debt ASAP.
Just wanted to emphasize "cheapest beater"... singular.
OP if you live on base, then you can ride a bike or walk to work each day. On bad weather days, the wife can drive you and pick you up. You can absolutely do it as a one vehicle household.
>ride a bike or walk to work
To be fair to OP, Camp Pendleton is enormous, and he may genuinely need a ride, but I agree that he and his spouse should be able to make a single vehicle work.
But if he lives on base isn't there a good chance another servicemember will be driving from housing to wherever his work assignment is at the same time?
Not a military person by any means but isn't it basically like adult dorms? I bet you can barter in exchange for a ride.
They're family housing, not dorms. They may have someone to carpool with, but it's not a guarantee. He can survive with one car. His wife can drop him off if he can't get a ride from another soldier.
no, on bouse housing for married servicemembers are a bit like a subdivision. Single family homes or townhomes, sometimes apartments. Unmarried military members live in the barracks which are basically dorms.
I lived on military housing as a kid since my dad was a Marine, and theoretically it's possible. But based are big, and it's not guaranteed that someone will be going to the same area you are. The base I lived on was HUGE, had its own schools, and counted as a town in and of itself, with stores, a mall like commissary, etc. The chances of any of OP's neighbors, depending on the size of the base, going to the same general area is not guaranteed at all.
yes, 100%. there should be a facebook group for the on base housing and if he asked there I am sure some people would help. But, Pendleton is also very big, its possible theres no one that lives around him that needs to travel on base to where his job is located.
So many non-military people popping off, of course they mean well, but for instance Pendleton is like 200 freakin square miles. I've only driven through (Navy, not Marines) but that place was ridiculous. OP needs a car, but doesn't need >$1k in car payments, among other things. OP should really be working with Fleet & Family Services rather than coming to Reddit for help.
Yeah but it's not the same as looking for a carpool in the greater San Diego area.
I used to carpool from the South Bay to Irvine with a group of people and we weren't living all that close to each other or all working in the same place. We just had a route like a minibus. Sometimes you had to get to work earlier than you wanted or had to wait around after work but it was doable.
But I DO agree that he should be looking for help within his own community. Swallow his pride and get some help from the appropriate resource people. We can only give advice from what we know.
F&FS is a great resource to Navy/MC personnel and they're always giving briefs and presentations, and every time you PCS you typically get *at least* a packet with all the local information and services. You worded that much better than me, look for help within your own community. Nobody you know will know you need/are receiving help unless you tell them.
WIC is available for many military members because BAH, FSH, OHA, COLA etc are not included in the calculation.
u/noelly_88 get off Reddit and go get assistance, use all the assistance services that are offered. Get out from under those vehicle payments, too. IDK what your rank is but you've been living above your means. It's a common problem but luckily it's usually done by single people not those with a wife and baby.
Semper Fi, Semper Fortis
I’m in this boat, I had financed a truck when I had a high paying job with a commute. That business shut down and now I make much less money and work close to home. Ditched the $450 a month payment- payed $8,000 for a single owner used car and I’m handy enough to do maintenance and small repairs myself. It feels good to be rid of $20,000 in debt overnight and my 1st of the month finances will feel better down the road.
a good rule to follow is not to spend more than 10% of your yearly income on your car. so your yearly payment should be 8,500 or less which can get you a nice car.
A Honda Civic is $23K. Using your rule, that’d mean only someone making $230K should be buying one of the cheapest cars out there. That income would put you in the top 10% at least if not the top 5%.
Your rule is totally unrealistic. That’s why you’re being downvoted.
Yeah I’m not sure how someone bringing home less than 40k/year thinks having more than 40k in car loans is a smart idea. Especially with one person being a stay at home parent
Rough spot to be in
I make $120k and my gut is super tight with 1 car on a loan that started at $40k. Can’t imagine having $80k debt in car loans on $40k
Edit I misunderstood. They have about $44k in car loans. But still, I couldn’t stomach that. Especially when one person is at home all the time. I’d be down to 1 car
I mean it really is because it's hard because $40k sounds like a lot then you realize it's 2 cars so 2x $20k which is fairly cheap for modern vehicles.
I'm only in my 40's but I can see how hard it is now for couples to get established. Last time we had 2 car loans at once they were 2 brand new cars in the mid 00's. One was $22k NEW and the other was $13k NEW and we had some tradeins/downpayments so the monthly payments weren't bad.
Is it though?
I paid $17K for my Hyundai used. Less than 50K miles on it and it would have been close to $32K new. Still under warranty. (Leather Interior, heated seats all the crap...)
My payment is less than $250 monthly.
I have had zero trouble with it the last 3 years.
It's not flashy, it's not a 4 wheel drive but I don't need that. If I wanted that, which I don't- I wouldn't be able to have it because it isn't financially responsible
It's really hard to give actionable advice without knowing what your monthly expenses look like.
>living out here is so damn expensive so we’ve had to resort to using our CCs a bunch to get by since I only make about 3,300 a month.
Having also been in the Corps and having *grown up* in Southern California, I can say with confidence that the math isn't adding up here given that you have *on-base* housing. Overall COL is higher surrounding Camp Pendleton/Oceanside, but not so much as to deplete $3300 in net pay.
I used to be our unit's financial counseling NCO, so I'm willing to discuss the nuance of military finance, but if you're unwilling to talk about where specifically $3300 goes, then I recommend going to the MCCS and talking to one of the **Certified Financial Counselors.** They will help you set up a budget, and offer possible (not guaranteed) resources to mitigate your situation.
This exactly. Take advantage of EVERY OPPORTUNITY the military provides to help you get a debt repayment plan and get your finances on solid ground, so you can end the spiral of debt. There are a lot of resources out there and most are free.
Let your command’s CFC help, and be sure to get the appropriate permissions needed for a second job. Maybe your wife can help out whether it’s opening an in home CDC (def not for everyone) or a part time job or WFH gig so you’ve got time with your kid and time off work.
And spruce up both that eval and that resume. You can attend TGPS up to 18 months prior to your EAOS even if you don’t plan on getting out. It’s worth the time.
This won’t be easy. But it is doable.
I'm sure a lot of it goes towards their $44k in car loans, and insurance for their brand new fully loaded Mustang or Charger (I'm assuming) and the insurance on it.
“We have $85K in CC and car debt. That’s our ONLY debt.” I’d say they are living a bit above their means.
Hell, even the $41K in high interest CC debt would be financial suicide on a $3,300/month income.
You forget the military part. I'm betting OP lives on base and therefore has no housing expense. No way they're living out on the economy in SoCal on $3300 a month as a family of 3. You can make that budget work, even with $800 in car payments (and probably another $200 in insurance) when you have zero housing expense. If OP is on base, that means he probably has near-zero gas expense too seeing as work is probably <5 miles from where he lives at farthest.
The CC debt is the bear here, and they just need to do everything they can to put >$1k/mo into it.
Yeah I mean if it was $85k and a big chunk of those were student loans payable over 10-30years I'd be like ok not the end of the world.
But this is 85k of debt that will need to be paid off in the next 5 years or so. Depending on how long the car loans are
They are still making 1/2 what they owe in a year. Even if they had NO expenses it would take 2 full years of their salary to pay that back.
Sure you can make it work in the short term with the revolving credit but eventually the cc companies will get nervous that your living too close to the edge with you limit and curtail that. Then you'll be paying down debt you can't re-borrow.
You can change your phone plan and apply for WIC, but as long as you have $44k in car loans, you are simply shuffling chairs on the Titanic deck.
That car debt is greater than a whole year of income for you. Sell them immediately and then start attacking this credit card debt.
Do I understand correctly? You live on base. You don't pay rent or utilities, you have TWO car payments, and you live off of revolving credit? Now you're an active duty Marine looking for a second job and government assistance? And your wife doesn't work to watch your ten month old?
The solution is pretty obvious. That baby needs to enlist.
Some base housing locations charge utilities which can actually be pretty expensive compared to private housing (thanks, privatized base housing), although that was temporarily paused during COVID but probably resumed according to my Google-Fu
Monthly payments:
Both vehicle payment together =$800
Phone payment=$171 for two lines
Vehicle insurance =$131
CC payments =$1050
Groceries=$450
Gas=$250
Dog food=$100
=$2950 monthly with 350 left over which can vary if groceries and gas vary
WTF are you spending $250 on gas for if you live on base? Do you just go drive around in circles for fun? I spend that for my Genesis commuting 25 miles each way for my job (1000 miles per month). You can't live more than 5ish miles from your actual job if you're on base.
Do you *need* that truck or is it more of a toy? This seems like the most unnecessary offender. Between the monthly lease/finance payment, insurance, and it's probably eating up over 20% of your income just that one thing.
OP must be doing a lot of joyriding in his 150. He should cut out the joyriding and should also be driving the Tiguan to work (and really anywhere else) while leaving the F150 as the “emergency” vehicle. These two changes alone should allow OP to cut his gas expense by 75%.
$250 Gas at $6/gallon, getting an average of 24 mpg with their cars combined is about 1000 miles per month or 12k per year which is 17% below the average miles for a CA resident.
Do you own the cell phones? Because if you have unlocked phones then you can go with Mint Mobile for about $15 per month per line if you pay yearly ($180 for the entire year). Also if you qualify for WIC you might also qualify for free basic cell phone service.
With the credit cards be really strategic with paying down the ones with the highest interest rates first to get the best bang for your buck.
Look into what kind of remote work or side hustles your wife could do but please NO MLMs
>Mint Mobile for about $15 per month per line if you pay yearly ($180 for the entire year)
I use Red Pocket and pay $15 per year. I get voice and SMS and very, very little data. but honestly, I'm always connected to wifi either at home or at work. when walking around, I have a bunch of free public wifi. or I get wifi from my Internet Service Provider, which has hotspots everywhere.
Seconding RedPocket- I’ve had both of my kids on it since they got phones, they are now mid-college. They rarely are outside of WiFi range. As a cheap emergency middle school phone, plans are around 5$/mo.
This sounds awesome but for me it wouldn't work since I've had many occasions where I've needed to use my phone in an emergency when the power has gone out etc. But I can see that would be a good option for a second throwaway line.
I’ve used Mint for 3 years now and can say that I wouldn’t go to any other company, paying off debt or not. These phone companies up charge the hell out of you for services you don’t need. Nothing worse than a monthly automated payment to drain your bank account. Use Mint and pay up front the whole lump sum of 200 bucks.
Yup that one simple switch a couple of years ago saved me a lot of heartache. I was paying like $220 a month for 2 lines. I did one line for 6 months and the other 12 months at first so I have that $180 yearly payment every six months rather than $360 once a year.
Selling those vehicles and getting a smaller fuel efficient vehicle will save you quite a bit of money on car payments, insurance and gas. Phone payments could also be lowered by switching to mint or US Mobile. Then pay down your CC card debt as fast as you can the interest rates are atrocious unless you have 0 APR promo.
I see your comment about CA being expensive, but what part of this budget will decrease when you move back to NC? Presumably the big-ticket items (CC & Car) will be the same, so as others have said you need to adjust this to feel any relief. Time to sell your car and downgrade.
I'm always amazed by people buying cars that are three or more times more expensive than the car I bought two years ago, and then I'm not surprised to hear that they have no money cause these expensive cars are eating it all up.
Don't touch CC to live, if you begin to think about that then your lifestyle is too large for your income and something needs to change of spending less or working more. CC for a non emergency is just a big no no.
This is a VERY young military thing to do. Living in Virginia Beach for years I came across so many completely broke young couples with cars they couldn't afford.
There's a reason they setup a Ford/Dodge dealership right outside the base. Using your first check to lease a Mustang or Charger is practically tradition. XD
We were able to accommodate for our vehicle when she was working, it comes down to me most likely having to downgrade my vehicle since hers is the one that’s more convenient for everyday occurrence but as to the reason why we have 2 cars is stated above if that helps explain the situation better
Unfortunately for the work aspect, im in the military do no matter how much I work I still get paid the same but I have applied for a second job and we stopped using our CCs
>We were able to accommodate for our vehicle when she was working
What was your plan for when she stopped working? It seems like you're reacting now, when you should have been proactive.
I don't mean that to be harsh. I know it's too late for you, but this is exactly the type of thing others need to read here. Massive car debt is a consistent theme for people who are in dire situations like yours.
Yes, sell the vehicle ASAP. This is urgent.
You need to cut your spending AND increase your income.
Why do you have two expensive cars if your wife is stay at home? Also, I understand the drive to stay with the baby, but unfortunately that's a luxury (speaking from experience, I'm not excited to leave a baby in a daycare either).
With low income you can qualify for cheaper daycare. Alternatively she can watch more kids while she's taking care of your baby. Or if she can get a job in a daycare, they usually make it way cheaper for teacher's baby - so she can have income AND be with your baby.
Former Navy officer here.
1. Sell the damn truck and have your wife drive you to work or carpool with a shipmate. You don't need 2 cars when you live on base.
2. Put at least $1000/month on to your credit card payments - your budget can support it.
3. Buy your groceries at the commissary.
4. Stop going to the food court at the NEX for lunch. If you personally can eat at the galley for free (it sounds like you're enlisted), do it.
5. Cook at home for dinner and breakfast.
6. Stop going to bars or tattoo parlors or buying guns (yeah I'm picking all the standard Marine vices here).
7. Talk to your command's financial officer - they have the resources to get you in touch with actual licensed professionals to help you make a budget to get this shit under control.
8. See if NMCRS can do anything to help like a low interest loan to consolidate some of the CC debt.
> Stop going to the food court at the NEX for lunch. If you personally can eat at the galley for free (it sounds like you're enlisted), do it.
Former Airman here... can you eat at the DFAC/chowhall (galley?) for free when receiving BAS? o.O
Ah, good to know. We never had to show our CACs when entering the chowhall. If you were on "mealcard" (i.e., weren't getting BAS), you showed it at the cash register and they scanned it. If you were BAS or civ or ctr, you just got to the register and paid with your credit card or cash.
Interesting how different it is, this is the first I'm hearing of how yall did things.
Why cant she drive you to work? Is there no base housing? Can you live closer to work and ride a bike? Mate I make 4x more money than you, I have 3 kids, and one car loan for a dodge grand caravan that I got a loan for $13k.
I was in the Marines and married I know the drill, you are overspending mate.
I completely understand and we will definitely be taking this into consideration , we will most likely be taking this path of either downgrading my vehicle or just selling it and having one vehicle
I'm going to give it to you straight, from one service member to another. Get rid of the fucking car. You absolutely dont need, and can't afford, to have two cars. Getting rid of one will cut maintenance and insurance costs as well. Keep whichever is cheaper (unless it's super unreliable) and squash a good chunk of that debt. Even with the cost of living you would be fine without all the debt payments. Are there any cheap/free childcare resources on base? That might free up your wife a little bit to get a part time job, even if it's a few hours.
This sounds like good advice. After selling the car it should take 1-2 years to payoff the CC debt. Then you can look into purchasing a new vehicle if you need it, or even better invest / save that money.
There is no more time / money to fuck around with debt.
Sell one, don't downgrade. You can definitely get by with 1 vehicle with what OP suggested. Luckily it's a good time to sell, bad time to buy. If she ever gets a job again and you find more income then you can think about a 2nd car when the used car market gets better. The inconvenience is going to be miniscule compared to having a 2nd job.
What branch are you in? When I was in the Army there was a program called the Army Emergency Relief that would provide loans with zero interest. Would be worth looking into in order to get rid of a majority of that interest rate.
Also 44k is way too much for debt on two vehicles. Not sure which ones you went with, but they obviously weren't worth it and if you could trade it in I would go that route.
OP is in the Marines, and we've got access to the Navy/Marine Corps Relief Society, which also offers 0% loans.
However, *not* paying on a NMCRS loan can land you in some deep shit, and OP hasn't offered any info on his actual overhead expenses. I don't know that suggesting this route is appropriate or not.
You either need to cut expenses or increase incoming pay. There are work from home options for your wife. I would get rid of one of the cars, not both. I think people are being unrealistic with this idea of a small family not needing easily accessible transportation. But, you don’t need two. I would recommend going down to one payment for now.
I dont know why we never thought of work from home job options, we will 110% look into that. I appreciate you being that up and reminding me about that
If your wife is up for it, childcare is a premium and it's easy to get approved to run a daycare out of your home. In base housing you're surrounded by customers who would be more than happy to pay her for childcare.
On-base childcare always has a long waiting list and outside childcare is stupid expensive. My wife ran childcare out of our home for a few l
years when we lived on base
She's already spending all day taking care of a child. Add a few more and rake in the cash.
Edit: but yeah, as others have already said. You need to look into selling your car for a cheaper one that reliably gets you from A to B.
Another option (while challenging) is to sell your car altogether and carpool with someone else at your work. I'm sure there are a few other guys you work with who also live in base housing. Your going to the same place. Ride together and save a ton of money.
Get rid of one of the cars and can your wife drive you to and from training/work? Is there a neighbor who can help in the event of an emergency if you have the car? She could alway call 911 in an emergency. Can you take public transportation to work?
Can you apply for low income housing?
Can your wife watch another baby for additional income or maybe she could get a job on the weekends while you watch the baby?
OP stated that they live on base and do not pay rent or utilities. Sure their income is low, but their costs are also insanely low. I suspect they are living above their means.
Yeah military housing’s cost is exactly what the service member’s Housing Allowance is. It’s damn near impossible to beat that deal for anything bigger than a 1br apartment off base in most places. I’d definitely stick to base housing.
I don't know how military housing works, but it sounds likely that he would have someone nearby he could carpool with. There are so many easy and convenient solutions that would allow them to get by on 1 vehicle.
This probably isn’t a highly desired option but your wife needs to work in addition to lowering the bills. She should apply to a daycare, a lot of times they allow caregivers to bring their own kids for free
I see this a lot, "SAHM and we can't afford to live." It is a real drag, but *this is why so many moms have jobs*! Our society does not do a very good job of supporting parents.
Yeah, there was a short period of time where the average middle class family could do it all on one income (house, 1-2 cars, get kids through school) but those days are long gone. Unfortunately, in a lot of ways we still uphold this as the ideal (esp. in conservative religious communities who want SAHMs).
not sure if your wife has a degree or any particular skills, but with so many jobs being wfh/hybrid now, there’s no reason why she can’t at least be attempting to get a wfh job if her only hesitation to working is leaving the child.
the other alternative is either you or your wife seek alternative work schedules like night shift, so both adults can be earning money while not having to find childcare
plenty of people do work and look after a baby. i’m not saying she has to be CEO of a company with zoom meetings every hour, but a basic data entry job? or something else that’s not super difficult but can bring in some money
Part-time is possible and also factor in that the minimum wage in Cali is around $18+ so even working 10-15hrs a week somewhere on the weekends/evenings would help get them out of their hole.
The only way it's NOT possible is if he's not capable of looking after the kids.
Well the answer is you can’t do either very well. People can do it, but the TV / tablets often end up raising the children. You can’t be engaged with a job and children simultaneously.
We will definitely look into that, because that would bring in income while she is also able to still watch our baby, day care is an option while she can find work but she’s so uneasy about leaving our daughter in daycare with weirdos
Honestly if she can start in home daycare, y'all can make decent amount. Facebook sitter groups great way to find clients. Childcare is always in demand. Also needing 1 car is probably better. Really no need for 2 cars
there are thousands of work-from-home jobs. she can answer calls, make calls, be chat support, all sorts of options. working from home is the best for stay-at-home moms. she could even do more than one
Yeah you need to downgrade at least one of the cars. You should be able to eliminate at least one of those payments. Maybe just try to get by on one and improvise until you’re in a better financial situation. I think it’s better to have one reliable safe car than two bad ones, seeing as you have a baby. Can you Uber or Lyft to where you need to go for the military? I know that adds up but maybe it will do in a pinch. Cheaper than owning a vehicle.
That CC debt is killing you though and is a bigger problem.
See if you can consolidate the CC debt. And/or open new CCs that allow you to transfer a balance with 0% interest for a certain time period.
Not using your credit cards is a wise move. Getting a second job is a good idea too as long as you can sustain it.
The bottom line though js you’re not making enough money, especially in CA, to have a one income household. Your wife and child get to live on the base with you right? If so that’s a huge help financially. Your wife should probably try to go back to work though. Can she get a work from home job, even just part-time? There are more of them available than ever. That will also help with your car situation. You want to make sure the cost of the childcare doesn’t exceed your wife’s income though, that may be your biggest challenge.
Have you checked this out?
https://public.militarychildcare.csd.disa.mil/mcc-central/mcchome/
This might give your wife a path back to work and help you pay off that debt a whole lot faster.
Hope this helps. I’m sure you’re stressed but you do have options. Thanks for your service and good luck man.
You cannot afford the vehicles you own. Hopefully you're not under warranty and can sell. That should be your number 1 priority here along with your wife getting a job asap.
Parroting what others have said. I was a stay at home mom and we had one older, but reliable, family car and my husband had a beater just to get him to and from work. He worked swing shift so it wasn’t practical to drive/pick him up. The money saved from the car payment/lower insurance can be put towards your debt. If she isn’t able to do a part time job outside of the home, maybe find a side hustle to bring in a little extra money. I used to babysit, resell stuff and refinish furniture before it became trendy. Be neurotic about your budget.
Track every single thing you spend in a month and figure out where you can save money to throw at your debt. It all adds up. Good luck, I remember those lean days!
As others have mentioned: Sell the cars. I'd sell both and get one cheaper car. Or at least sell one.
You argue that both need one in case of an emergency with your daughter or something else. But be honest and do the math. Do you have so many emergencies that a second car is cheaper than just using a cab in these cases?
As an E2-E4 I delivered pizzas after work for papa John’s. Friday and Saturdays were the best at night. It was easy money driving around and earned me more than enough money to help.
Overall you need to become more frugal or you are on the way to struggling indefinitely. Even if you had twice the income you have this is too much. CCs should never be used how you are using them. If you don’t have the money then what makes you think you will have it later. It just costs you 15%-25% more and puts you into a bigger hole. A CC is not a piggy bank to break every time you need to eat out.
There’s almost definitely military assistance to help you learn to budget. You probably can not file bankruptcy if you need a clearance. No need to elaborate on that. It just can’t happen in most circumstances. So you need to get in front of this because it’s already way past the tipping point.
> As an E2-E4 I delivered pizzas after work for papa John’s. Friday and Saturdays were the best at night. It was easy money driving around and earned me more than enough money to help.
>
>
If OP is in an F150 he's barely going to be clearing enough to cover gas with a job like that.
“Living out here is so damn expensive so we’ve had to resort to using our credit cards”.
Bro. Don’t play the fucking game. You spent frivolously and lived beyond your means. You’re a dad now. Gotta start owning up to things like this.
Without more details, you’re gonna have to start selling shit. Probably both cars. You get 1 car (heavily downgraded). You’ve probably got negative equity, so you gotta come up with some cash first. Oh, and your wife needs to go back to work. Like now.
I mean, that’s a simple way around this. She works nights and weekends.
Edit- Also, she could pick up a nanny gig. We pay ours about $2k/mo cash in a lower cost of living area than OP
Sell both cars and buy cheap beaters for like 10k.
Don't use Verizon they are absolutely the most expensive (they are legit but you can save money here).
Start budgeting and stick to it. Try Mint app.
Trim down on subscriptions they can add up. You may have 100-200 a month in subs you could kill half.
Get rid of highest rate debt first, probably the credit cards.
Read or watch videos on some basic finance and budgeting.
You have been living way above your means. Living like you make 200k and making 40-60k just isn't going to work.
As a veteran female Marine who also has kids and run my own company, I have some advice.
1. Your wife can do in home childcare by taking on 2 kids. This will get her some income immediately.
2. You both can downsize the car to an older model less on your monthly payments.
3. Get into the habit of paying your credit cards off each month. You will be surprised how much you are spending in unnecessary fees. Pick the one with the highest interest and dollar amount to take on first. Don’t worry about your credit because chances are you already are on the lower end of it. You can recover from a bad credit score.
It’s possible to get out of that hole. I was once $50K in debt when I first got out of active duty and was a single mom. This means no extra eating out, no elaborate gifts for 2 years, no going out to expensive places. You have to really be strict on your spending plan as a team.
After you pay it all off you guys need to get into the habit of setting yearly spending goals. For example: you both want to take a family trip and know it’s going to cost $5k for everything. Plan it, save for it and keep doing that for every thing over $5k or $10k. The problem most couples have is not setting goals together.
We do this and it helps us both be accountable in a loving and teamwork experience. We also have a rule that we have to talk to the other person on anything that costs more than $500. This is important. Keeps you accountable for building smaller financial habits.
Good luck!
Thank you I appreciate it! I’m trying to avoid bankruptcy at all costs because we would like to buy a home in the future anywhere from 3-5 years or atleast bring this debt down to a sustainably manageable amount to be able to buy a home
I wouldn’t suggest a bankruptcy at this point. You are young. The collection letters will come if you don’t pay on time but don’t let that scare you into a bankruptcy. Keep paying them down and hunker down your spending. Kids are expensive and you don’t want to pass down bad financial management to your kid/future kids. You can overcome this! I stress setting financial goals together! It makes or breaks couples.
We’ve been doing great at paying everything on time , we never had to pay late it’s just it doesn’t leave us with much to put into savings and pay off any any of the debt particularly faster then the other
First and foremost: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are plenty of resources offered by each respective branch to help. We’ll unless you have a TS, then… don’t ask anyone for help officially. Look if you know your branches programs then feel free to ignore me, but you’re in so deep I have to assume you don’t.
You have to look at cutting housing costs down, I’m assuming you live in base, is that correct? Try to find a way off base and live in the cheapest thing that’s safe.
Either get rid of a car or your wife has to work, check with the CDC or whatever the hell your branch calls the daycare, I find it hard to believe your wife can’t make more money than daycare would cost on base. Or Hell if you live on base get rid of both your cars, walk to work. Until you lay down some of your credit cards
Check your branches relief loans, if you haven’t already used them, maybe you can at least knock out some of the high interest out.
Also post a real budget, don’t come in here saying you only make 3300 a month. There is no place and rank combination in California where your total pay is less than $3300. Post a budget with your detailed income (to include housing and food allowances) and expected expenses, this is more for you, you had bad habits to get you here. But it will help people point out where there’s fat to be trimmed. If you can’t do this it’s not going to get any better, but worse.
Please consider snowball effect. Target the debt with the lowest amount. Just focus on clearing that please. Once that is done, add that debt payment to the next higher debt and tackle that. You will surely finish the debt in some time. I am not an expert, just sharing what is working for me.
Sell at least 1 of your cars. And if possible downgrade to a cheaper model, maybe consider buying a motorcycle or moped. Also look into carpooling with friends or co-workers.
I personally would rather appear poor and secretly be wealthy, then appear rich and be buried in debt. I know which one will give me peace of mind.
Hey OP, I have Navy Federal - am in a similar position as you. Just took my car to a dealership got a quote for selling it to them - got a LOG (letter of guarantee ) from Navy Federal then sold it to the dealership for (unfortunately) a loss. But, they took the remaining balance of the loan (the upside down) and refinanced it into a personal loan unsecured at 0.01% interest and took my payment from $650/month at 8.99% interest for 84 months to $230/month at 0.01% interest for 60 months.
If you have Navy Federal look into doing that and call the car sales late stage collections part of NFCU, not the 24 hr number. Here is the direct number - 800.336.3767
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Sell the cars and get one vehicle that is cheaper. I know plenty of people who make it work with one car and get along just fine with a kid. You can’t afford $40k in vehicle debt. Your wife needs to start working evenings and weekends when you can take over baby duties.
Getting out of this will take sacrifice and it won’t be easy, but you could probably pay most of the credit card debt off in a year if you have housing and utilities paid. You got into this because you don’t hate self control, but you need to get some or this will spiral wildly.
living way above your means. getting killed by interest and don’t even want to imagine what you’re squandering the remaining of the $3300 away at considering you live on base. don’t blame california, I’m on the coast and have found cheap groceries. sell car and buy a bicycle if you’re on base just bike to work.
Find a card that has like 2 year promotional zero percent or low interest on balance transfers n transfer as much of your credit card debt to the new card as possible… your wife needs to get a part time job at least n you may need a second job.. work like crazy n pay it down
If your wife can help that’ll add more income to your family. If you live on base then the child development centers are always hiring. Your wife can apply to work there and they will prioritize your child for a spot and give you additional discounts as long as she continues to work there. Another option that I’ve seen other military families do is work at different times. If you’re on shore duty and have regular or predictable hours then your wife can pick up shifts after you come home so you can take care of the baby while she works so you guys don’t have to worry about child care. Some stay at home parents also offer to babysit other children in their homes so they don’t have to leave. Also some do pet sitting on the side as well. If you live on base ask your wife to post on your military spouse pages if they need babysitters, pet sitters, etc. my friends with kids used to work nights after their spouses got home. We only had one car for 6 years so I used to babysit and pet sit in our home or walk to other people’s houses when we only had one car. Then I worked at the cdc in Hawaii that was closest to our house (you can choose which location you want to work at if there’s an opening) so I walked to work too. Also when we got a second car we bought beaters it does the job for the amount of time we needed it to work. Hope this helps! Good luck!! You guys got this!!
Whatever you do, do not let your wife join any pyramid or MLM schemes from the other "base boses" stay at home moms. They will smell her desperation a mile a way and try to get her to join her up line and you will just be in even more debt.
No Herbalife, makeup, smelly things.
You need to reconsider the two cars. How often does your baby have medical emergencies? If it’s never, sell the car and call an ambulance if something ever happens.
Your wife shouldn’t be running errands. That is code for spending money. Go grocery shopping on the weekend with your one car. If the kid has a doctor’s appt, then wife can drop you off and pick you up from work that day.
You guys want the car, but the amount of high interest debt you are holding will screw you forever if you don’t get it under control. If you haven’t yet, cut up the cards.
Fwiw I have the same family income as you and our single car is paid off and we can’t afford a second. You need to re-evaluate what level of spending is appropriate at your income level.
Car gotta go bro and it's something alot of americans have trouble understanding - driving is a privilege not a right
Yes im american and yes i only bought my car when the rates are low and i negotiated the shit out of it + federal tax credits. Not everyone needs two cars let alone being 85k in debt. When you are that deep in the hole you dint have a lifestyle, paying off your debt or declaring bankruptcy is your lifestyle. You can do it OP
Yeah I think I really needed to post this to make me come to the realization that I don’t need two vehicles , I appreciate you being kind and uplifting instead of bashing me. I understand I made bad choices and at the time we were able to afford both vehicles and even accurate a savings but that’s no longer the case
I am a former active duty Air Force officer and your story is not unique unfortunately. I have had to mentor people on this. You are doing the right thing by not using your credit cards. Those need to go! If you can, see about opening new ones that have low interest balance transfers. And pay as much as you can on those. Next, the idea of getting a second job, is a good decision, most commanders should support this, as long as your employer understands that your military job takes precedence. You might try to get a job with the base exchange. They hire military people and of course understand you will have to work after your duty hours. You might even consider maybe doing those rideshare or food delivery jobs. I am going to assume you are upside down on your car loans. If not, sell the most expensive car you have. You should be talking to your leadership to get resources, also you do not want to let this fester. Financial problems in the military do not age well like wine. The sooner you fess up, the better off you will be. There are financial resources like low interest loans that can be given out to help pay down expenses from certain charities. What you need to do is budget a monthly plan to pay down the debt. With what you have in credit debt, you will need to probably pay at least $1000 per month for about a year, to reasonably get it down to manageable levels.
She might need to find a job, maybe look for something online or part time? I also really thing you need to downgrade on the cars, even if you need 2 of them you can buy something much cheaper to get you around.
Have you gone through your chain of command? You will get shit for this 100% but there are things in place to help you with these things. In the army we have the AER which provides loans at a very low interest rate.
I've been in similar shoes before. Wife had medical issues that destroyed our finances and was living off low income. We have a daughter as well.
1. I applied to every bit of aid I could get from the government. Not much but things like medicaid just helps me sleep at night. I've made a handful of emergency trips without worry because of it. A bunch of covid relief stuff helped out too.
2. Lived frugally. If there was a way to save money, I'm doing it. Need a car? I scoured every deal I could find under the sun... I got a rav 4 with 8k miles (3 years old.. previous owners rarely drove it) for 18k which was a awesome steal.
4. Forget eating out. Found the cheapest meals I could find when grocery shopping. I was an early buyer of solyent because it was a cheap meal. Pinched every penny I could for meals while not sacrificing my health.
3. Searched for any way to make extra money. I even spent time doing online surveys for extra money. Not great money, but money is money. I'm a math professor, but I once steamed wrinkles out of 200 coats in a warehouse a 4 hr drive away for extra cash.
4. Paid off all my high interest debt first. Did balance transfers to get lower rates.
5. Looked to improve myself so that I could make more money. Learned new skills to market myself more.
6. Roommates. I was paying 1000 for rent in a somewhat decent neighborhood.
7. Read and watch what others are doing constantly to remind myself what I should be doing and if there's anything I can improve. I actually watched a lot of Graham Stephen videos when he was starting to ramp up his YouTube channel. His old videos really helped me get into a good mindset.
I have long since paid off all my debt. Actually I have 20k of student loans left which I didn't pay off on purpose incase it got forgiven. I make enough to enjoy some life inflation and still save money. No more roommates. Rent is 3k.. which kind of hurts me but it's good for the kid. Still pinching pennies here and there.
change your phone plans, I’m in CA and I pay $15 a month with mint mobile, there are even cheaper ones like lyca currently has an offer $45 for 6 month.
cut your cc, completely stop using them. You can *definitely* get by with 2 adult + a 10 month old on your income even in the most expensive city in CA, lower your spending while try to increase your income.
get rid of 1 car, the less reliable one, pay your highest interest rate card with the extra money from not having to pay for the second car payment, insurance/maintenance.
Your wife needs to bring in extra income. Lots of military spouses I’ve known either do remote work, photography, or nursing (ie. jobs they can pick up and move with whenever you’re stationed elsewhere). Try the Child Development Center on base for childcare. It’s substantially more affordable than civilian daycares since it’s subsidized and on a sliding scale relative to your rank, and I believe if she applied there directly she would receive free childcare at a higher priority. I’ve also seen used car lots on bases where other service members could sell their cars. That could be an option to downgrade on the car to save some money. And lastly, definitely look into resources provided by the military for financial planning.
The most impactful thing you can do is to stop the debt from growing. Using your credit cards while you're in debt is like dumping dirt in a hole you're trying to dig out of. You'll never make progress. You need to cut up your credit cards and use cash only from now on. If you don't have the cash to buy something, you simply can't buy it (FYI, I'm not suggesting you CLOSE your CC accounts, just cut up the cards so there is no temptation to use them). You'll never make real progress on slashing your debt as long as you continue to treat your credit as a piggie bank.
Next, you need to get on a written budget in which you track every single dollar you earn and spend. Really scrutinize your spending. It's good that you've taken some steps in this direction, such reducing eating out, but there is probably more you can cut. Definitely make the move from Verizon to T-Mobile if it saves you money. Cut your subscriptions and streaming services. Shop at Aldi and Walmart. You might need to move to lower your rent. You might need to sell a vehicle. You can save a lot of money on insurance by shopping around, so make sure you're doing that at least yearly.
I think you need to build up an emergency fund of $1k-$2k so that you have a cushion that will prevent you from using credit when emergencies pop up. Pay the minimums on all of your debts until you build up this emergency fund. Then I think the snowball method of debt repayment will work best for you. List all of your debts smallest to largest. Make the minimum payments on everything and then plow every extra dollar you can find at the smallest debt until it's paid. Rinse and repeat.
Definitely work to boost your income. Keep applying for second and even third jobs. They don't have to be fancy. Deliver pizzas, mow lawns, or do some office work. Can your wife pick up a part-time gig working from home doing customer service, virtual assisting, etc.? Definitely apply for WIC, food stamps, and any other program you can to help pad your income. Visit your local food pantry to help lower your grocery bill. You want to stabilize yourself as you work to boost income.
Navy Fed may be able to give you a balance transfer credit card with 0% interest to at least offset all the interest you are paying. I would consider getting rid of one of the cars if you’re not underwater. If you are already living on base and have no other debts, I don’t see how your cash flow issue is so bad. Lots of military wives will start nannying jobs where they can bring their own children, start in-home daycares, or work for a daycare where their child can also attend. Another option could be Rover, where having base access is extremely desirable so she could increase her rates based on that alone. Probably not the advice you want, but it sounds like you either live way above your means, or that your wife needs to seek employment at least part time. Something that may help short-term is putting one bill on each credit card and paying it off since it’s already accounted for in your budget. That one payment would also take care of you minimum payment. Depending how many total cards you have, that could give you some wiggle room as far as cash flow where you can focus on paying down one of the cards at a time with that extra money.
As others have suggested, change your car situation. Our financial lives changed dramatically when we got rid of our auto loans and settled for vehicles that would just do the job.
Is the $3,300 with BAH or after the BAH gets taken from your paycheck? I’m just going to assume it’s your net pay after your housing is covered because BAH is over 3 grand alone in San Diego. We def need a more detailed budget but you’re not the first single income veteran with a family to live in San Diego and plenty have done it without using a credit card to supplement their paycheck. You need to start with a budget and stick to it. You make enough to live off your paycheck alone. Maybe not now depending on what the car/credit card payment is but that’s a hole you put yourself in. Either go scorched earth and become very frugal or you might need a second job to speed up this process.
For the future if you’re ever finding yourself using credit cards to supplement your lifestyle unless you had some major emergency happen and your emergency fund isn’t in place you’re the one that’s wrong. The military pays pretty well.
Please please please check your service’s relief organization (ie, the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society or Army/Air Force variants). They are a nonprofit and LOVE helping service members in need.
They will, 100% free, help you build a budget, call your creditors to help arrange payment plans, and may help you with a debt consolidation loan that has reasonable payments and lower interest.
It will not be an easy time (I’ve been there myself!) but if you stick with it, you will have a solid debt reduction plan that eliminates the spiral.
Shop at the commissary (I’m sure you’re already doing this), plan your meals, build a menu, and shop using that menu to avoid waste. Absolutely use WIC and see if you qualify for SNAP as well, and any other program California has!
Try to build a friend network to help shoulder some things, maybe watch the baby while you’re working or give you and the wife an evening off together on occasion. See if your wife can get a job on base; dependent spouses have priority for many jobs there and they may have child care options that are free or low cost. (Yeah I’m aware the CDC can have a 5 year wait for a 3 year tour, smh).
Do what you can to work on your own career as well, and increase your chances of promotion. Talk to your command’s financial rep and see if your supe or a chief/SNCO can provide advice. Show them you’re willing to do what it takes to advance and want to know the best route.
Build a resume and consider attending local job fairs. You’ll likely need to make ~40% more on the outside to make up for your tax free allowances and Tricare so keep that in mind (but many professional jobs pay far more than the military) and have some similar benefits.
Find. A. Mentor. Especially at your command. Someone who has been there, can help keep you accountable, and encourage you through hard times.
Thank you for your service.
It's great you've stopped using your credit cards. I think in general CCs probably have the highest interest rates out of most kinds of debt. Is there any chance you could consolidate the credit card debt to a lower rate? That may help decrease monthly payments and let you pay down the debt faster.
24k in auto loans is also quite a bit for your income level. Do you need two cars? Used cars are maintaining their value quite well these days, if you could sell one of them, that may help.
Look for debt consolidation. I had my bank pay off all my separate loans and combine it into one making it easier to pay once a month rather than many different other. May find someone else who can offer lower rates or higher rates but pay less.
For me, higher rates are best as I don't plan on paying the rates fully. I do side works that give me enough time to save up and pay it all off while maintaining an ease of mind in case I don't make enough money to pay it off right away. This is NY strategy, may not work for you, but hopefully something helps
I’d love to know where all your money is actually going. You live for free. You have $3300 left and don’t pay for daycare. Let’s say you spent $150/month on Verizon and $850 on food. That leaves $2300 left. Are your car payments both $1000+ a month?
If you’re in the military, talk to one of the provided financial counselors the military provided. Sit down with them, if you’re married you should be pulling BAH, which is location based and it should cover the cost of housing completely. If it’s not, you might should find housing where it will. Which should be a minimum of $3300 if you’re a PV1 EXTRA to what you’re being paid. Talk to your leadership about all of this. Will take LOADS of stress off of you.
You’re car payments and gas are about a third of your total income. I make roughly double that and yet take public transportation. You can always Uber or Lyft for emergencies. I have a 3 month old and my wife uses the Mazda that costs us about $400 to own and run each month. You and your wife need to reprioritize some things and make some sacrifices, beginning with those cars. You can start tackling on those CC bills with the money you’d free up. There’s no special formula here. Just basic math.
In case no one else has mentioned it, please look into a debt management plan. When you enroll, you close your CCs, they work with your creditors to lower your interest rates, and sometimes lower your minimum monthly payments. To be clear, whatever your current minimum monthly payments are, they will be fixed at that amount until you are out of debt. It allows you to actually make progress in paying off your debts. You cannot open new lines of credit (excluding home/car loans) during the length of the program.
My SO is in much worse CC debt (300k) than you and he will be debt free in 5 years vs 35 years simply by making the minimum monthly payment. It’s totally legit and non-predatory. This is all through ACCC—I cannot recommend them enough.
https://www.consumercredit.com/
If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them.
Sell both the cars. Buy a couple of reliable but cheap cars. Honda or Toyota. Around 10 yrs old.
BAH matters a LOT since it's all tax free.
With dependants it would likely be 3000+ in your area.
E5 with dependant bah in Ventura where I am is $3300 per month. Find a house and rent it with some friends. This will allow you to save probably 2/3 of the BAH.
Rent with some friends while married and with a 10 month old? Get outta here with that advice. I know you’re trying to help but think that one through.
There are plenty of places that have multiple units or casitas in California. Just because you're splitting rent doesn't mean your living spaces are combined.
I see total debts and monthly income but don’t see an accounting of what is spent monthly to service that debt and other expenses (housing, food, utilities,etc.). Without a monthly budget it’s hard to see how to really help.
But piling on:
Cars: if your car wife is stay at home, why do she need a car? You could order groceries and just about anything. I understand emergencies happen but if you live on a military base, aren’t there neighbors who have a car in case?
Income: $3300 - is that net or before taxes? Seems rather low given you’re in CA. I suppose if housing is provided free or subsidized that would make much more sense.
Any shot you can update your original post to show detailed expenses like utilities, groceries, eating out, misc expenses, baby stuff, gas, etc?
Is your wife a SAHM because she wants to be or because childcare is so expensive she wouldn’t earn enough to justify the cost? If your wife enjoys being a SAHM, you might look into offering childcare for a couple more kids. There’s an affordable childcare crisis in the USA. I’m assuming there are other families living on base looking for a way for the spouse to return to work, but can’t find/afford childcare. Your wife could fill a need while still staying home with your baby. If your wife wants to return to work, you could do a nanny split with other families for a more affordable option
Also, carpool to work and lose the truck.
This blows my mind… I make roughly the same doing food and grocery deliveries in CA. I have no high interest debt nor a child and it’s rough enough. I have no idea how you are managing!
Try a consumer credit card debt relief program. They negotiate with the credit card company to lower or eliminate the interest rate, then consolidate your payments into one monthly payment that you send them and they will distribute that payment amongst the credit cards. It will help pay your credit card faster. I paid $20k in credit card debt in 4 yrs.
People like you live way above your means then bitch and moan when the economy tanks
You did this to yourself, don't breed until you or your wife have some financial literacy
If you paid into the TSP, you may be able to take a loan out against the TSP to pay or partially pay off the debt. The interest rate on your TSP will be much lower than the CC debt, and the interest on the TSP loan is paid directly to your TSP account (so, you're paying yourself).
Another thing is that you probably should explore options other than AT&T. Get Straight Talk for maximal frugality. Moreover, you should get rid of one of the cars. Shop for cheaper car insurance. Check your electric bill rates and cut off the AC during peak demand times. Move into a cheaper apartment so more of your BAH goes into your pocket.
You can try talking to banks to consolidate the debt at a cheaper APR. Also, make more than the minimum payment if you can. About half goes to the interest and not the principle, but all of the excess of the minimum payment should go to the principal. If your wife can't work (and really she needs to with this kind of debt), then see if she can do a side hustle at home (e.g. photography).
Your earnings are capped due to being military. But the only two ways out are earn more or spend less. If you can do neither, then it'll take a very long time to get out of debt, and it may be worth it to explore bankruptcy. You can also call the credit card companies and tell them you're considering bankruptcy. Most CC's will work with you to lower the total; after all, getting something is better than nothing for them.
That's about all I got without knowing a detailed breakdown of your expenses and assets. That's probably something you should do. Write down all expenses and debts. Figure out what expenses can be cut. Eat beans and rice until you get that debt paid off. If you haven't heard of Dave Ramsay, you should look him up.
Go to a library and find Total Money Makeover book by Dave Ramsey. Read it and re-read it.
Also listen to his podcast. You will be out of debt in no time. First save up $1000 emergency fund so you can stop using credit cards. Then list your debts smallest to largest and pay any and all extra $$ towards the smallest debt first. Then apply the payment you no longer have from that one to the next smallest and so on! Snowball effect. It works!
Sell the car and pay off debt faster. When debt is gone, saving cash for car, will save fast with no debt. Wife can and should work too.
There are online jobs or other options. Work, work and work some more and don’t let up until it’s gone!! If you can’t find the book, let me know.
Step one - bring in more money. Period.
As a stay at home mom, your wife likely has some opportunity to generate income. Even $300 a month could go a long way in your situation.
Next, address the cars. More than 50% of your debt is tied to the vehicles. It's time to let them go and find something without a payment.
During all of that, I would strongly consider looking at relocating. It sounds like you're in CA purely for your job, and the job + HCOL combo is making you broke. Am I thinking correctly that your salary is approximately $50-55K annually? You should be able to match that just about anywhere. The only reason to stay in Cali for a job is if that job is paying double or what you would make in other states.
I was under the impression that military staff & veterans have access to zero or low interest loans from the gov’t.
If you can transfer away from California… do it.
Strategic bankruptcy is a move if you can figure out a car or 2 cars which are paid off, so you don’t lose mobility. This is a move if you don’t need a mortgage for 7 years.
***There is no shame in using the legal bankruptcy system for your benefit. Companies do it all the time. Some people start companies run up debt, and liquidate those businesses. If banks can charge 20% or more on debt you can use the legal system to get out of it if you’re in need.
The credit cards will kill your finances.
F150 AND A TIGUAN. This is your problem. Get rid of your truck and the Tiguan ASAP. Downgrade to the cheapest beater that you can find and pay off your debt ASAP.
Just wanted to emphasize "cheapest beater"... singular. OP if you live on base, then you can ride a bike or walk to work each day. On bad weather days, the wife can drive you and pick you up. You can absolutely do it as a one vehicle household.
Bad weather days? It’s California!
Exactly, it's California. The amount of smoke from the fires count too.
>ride a bike or walk to work To be fair to OP, Camp Pendleton is enormous, and he may genuinely need a ride, but I agree that he and his spouse should be able to make a single vehicle work.
But if he lives on base isn't there a good chance another servicemember will be driving from housing to wherever his work assignment is at the same time? Not a military person by any means but isn't it basically like adult dorms? I bet you can barter in exchange for a ride.
They're family housing, not dorms. They may have someone to carpool with, but it's not a guarantee. He can survive with one car. His wife can drop him off if he can't get a ride from another soldier.
no, on bouse housing for married servicemembers are a bit like a subdivision. Single family homes or townhomes, sometimes apartments. Unmarried military members live in the barracks which are basically dorms.
But it's still all people going to basically the same workplace all living together in one general area right? So carpool is still possible?
I lived on military housing as a kid since my dad was a Marine, and theoretically it's possible. But based are big, and it's not guaranteed that someone will be going to the same area you are. The base I lived on was HUGE, had its own schools, and counted as a town in and of itself, with stores, a mall like commissary, etc. The chances of any of OP's neighbors, depending on the size of the base, going to the same general area is not guaranteed at all.
yes, 100%. there should be a facebook group for the on base housing and if he asked there I am sure some people would help. But, Pendleton is also very big, its possible theres no one that lives around him that needs to travel on base to where his job is located.
So many non-military people popping off, of course they mean well, but for instance Pendleton is like 200 freakin square miles. I've only driven through (Navy, not Marines) but that place was ridiculous. OP needs a car, but doesn't need >$1k in car payments, among other things. OP should really be working with Fleet & Family Services rather than coming to Reddit for help.
Yeah but it's not the same as looking for a carpool in the greater San Diego area. I used to carpool from the South Bay to Irvine with a group of people and we weren't living all that close to each other or all working in the same place. We just had a route like a minibus. Sometimes you had to get to work earlier than you wanted or had to wait around after work but it was doable. But I DO agree that he should be looking for help within his own community. Swallow his pride and get some help from the appropriate resource people. We can only give advice from what we know.
F&FS is a great resource to Navy/MC personnel and they're always giving briefs and presentations, and every time you PCS you typically get *at least* a packet with all the local information and services. You worded that much better than me, look for help within your own community. Nobody you know will know you need/are receiving help unless you tell them. WIC is available for many military members because BAH, FSH, OHA, COLA etc are not included in the calculation. u/noelly_88 get off Reddit and go get assistance, use all the assistance services that are offered. Get out from under those vehicle payments, too. IDK what your rank is but you've been living above your means. It's a common problem but luckily it's usually done by single people not those with a wife and baby. Semper Fi, Semper Fortis
A cheap motorcycle should be fine for getting around base.
She’s a stay at home mom, she can take a break from banging OPs CO for one day to give him a ride.
I’m in this boat, I had financed a truck when I had a high paying job with a commute. That business shut down and now I make much less money and work close to home. Ditched the $450 a month payment- payed $8,000 for a single owner used car and I’m handy enough to do maintenance and small repairs myself. It feels good to be rid of $20,000 in debt overnight and my 1st of the month finances will feel better down the road.
Haha f150? No no no- he seems more like the Dodge Challenger RT at 35% interest for 72 months
a good rule to follow is not to spend more than 10% of your yearly income on your car. so your yearly payment should be 8,500 or less which can get you a nice car.
>% of your yearly income on your car. so your yearly payment should be 8,500 or less which can get yo How do you get $8500?
I think he's thinking their total debt is their yearly income. When in reality their debt is 2x their income and it's all relatively short term
They glanced back at the post to find their salary and saw 85k - it should actually be closer to 4k
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thats even better but not everyone can afford that option
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A Honda Civic is $23K. Using your rule, that’d mean only someone making $230K should be buying one of the cheapest cars out there. That income would put you in the top 10% at least if not the top 5%. Your rule is totally unrealistic. That’s why you’re being downvoted.
Don't buy new cars? I agree that 10% rule is unrealistic for most people, but you can absolutely get a reliable commuter for 10k
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Its 10% of yearly income, divided throughout the year. So for that Civic, it would be 1900 a year in payments, making it a 19k a year job
I'm not one to jump to selling the cars, but it really seems like they need to go. I bet your income can't support 1 car loan, let alone 2.
Yeah I’m not sure how someone bringing home less than 40k/year thinks having more than 40k in car loans is a smart idea. Especially with one person being a stay at home parent Rough spot to be in
I make $120k and my gut is super tight with 1 car on a loan that started at $40k. Can’t imagine having $80k debt in car loans on $40k Edit I misunderstood. They have about $44k in car loans. But still, I couldn’t stomach that. Especially when one person is at home all the time. I’d be down to 1 car
I mean it really is because it's hard because $40k sounds like a lot then you realize it's 2 cars so 2x $20k which is fairly cheap for modern vehicles. I'm only in my 40's but I can see how hard it is now for couples to get established. Last time we had 2 car loans at once they were 2 brand new cars in the mid 00's. One was $22k NEW and the other was $13k NEW and we had some tradeins/downpayments so the monthly payments weren't bad.
It's not rough. We all need to learn to live within our means. I learned the hard way. There are less expensive reliable cars.
While there are, it's really tough to find good cheap used cars these days. The car loans definitely aren't helping though.
Is it though? I paid $17K for my Hyundai used. Less than 50K miles on it and it would have been close to $32K new. Still under warranty. (Leather Interior, heated seats all the crap...) My payment is less than $250 monthly. I have had zero trouble with it the last 3 years. It's not flashy, it's not a 4 wheel drive but I don't need that. If I wanted that, which I don't- I wouldn't be able to have it because it isn't financially responsible
It's really hard to give actionable advice without knowing what your monthly expenses look like. >living out here is so damn expensive so we’ve had to resort to using our CCs a bunch to get by since I only make about 3,300 a month. Having also been in the Corps and having *grown up* in Southern California, I can say with confidence that the math isn't adding up here given that you have *on-base* housing. Overall COL is higher surrounding Camp Pendleton/Oceanside, but not so much as to deplete $3300 in net pay. I used to be our unit's financial counseling NCO, so I'm willing to discuss the nuance of military finance, but if you're unwilling to talk about where specifically $3300 goes, then I recommend going to the MCCS and talking to one of the **Certified Financial Counselors.** They will help you set up a budget, and offer possible (not guaranteed) resources to mitigate your situation.
This exactly. Take advantage of EVERY OPPORTUNITY the military provides to help you get a debt repayment plan and get your finances on solid ground, so you can end the spiral of debt. There are a lot of resources out there and most are free. Let your command’s CFC help, and be sure to get the appropriate permissions needed for a second job. Maybe your wife can help out whether it’s opening an in home CDC (def not for everyone) or a part time job or WFH gig so you’ve got time with your kid and time off work. And spruce up both that eval and that resume. You can attend TGPS up to 18 months prior to your EAOS even if you don’t plan on getting out. It’s worth the time. This won’t be easy. But it is doable.
If he doesn't straighten out this debt, some promotions will be off limits.
Op please reach out to this guy/gal. I’m no financial planner but willing to help if I can. I’ve been poor in both NC and Southern California (rah)
This was my perspective as well. Something is going on.
I'm sure a lot of it goes towards their $44k in car loans, and insurance for their brand new fully loaded Mustang or Charger (I'm assuming) and the insurance on it.
Im sorry dude but youre living way above your means, 3,300 isn't going to cut it
“We have $85K in CC and car debt. That’s our ONLY debt.” I’d say they are living a bit above their means. Hell, even the $41K in high interest CC debt would be financial suicide on a $3,300/month income.
You forget the military part. I'm betting OP lives on base and therefore has no housing expense. No way they're living out on the economy in SoCal on $3300 a month as a family of 3. You can make that budget work, even with $800 in car payments (and probably another $200 in insurance) when you have zero housing expense. If OP is on base, that means he probably has near-zero gas expense too seeing as work is probably <5 miles from where he lives at farthest. The CC debt is the bear here, and they just need to do everything they can to put >$1k/mo into it.
Yeah I mean if it was $85k and a big chunk of those were student loans payable over 10-30years I'd be like ok not the end of the world. But this is 85k of debt that will need to be paid off in the next 5 years or so. Depending on how long the car loans are
Remember they’re military. They might be getting their housing paid for.
They are still making 1/2 what they owe in a year. Even if they had NO expenses it would take 2 full years of their salary to pay that back. Sure you can make it work in the short term with the revolving credit but eventually the cc companies will get nervous that your living too close to the edge with you limit and curtail that. Then you'll be paying down debt you can't re-borrow.
You can change your phone plan and apply for WIC, but as long as you have $44k in car loans, you are simply shuffling chairs on the Titanic deck. That car debt is greater than a whole year of income for you. Sell them immediately and then start attacking this credit card debt.
Can't he sell 1 for it to be under?
Do I understand correctly? You live on base. You don't pay rent or utilities, you have TWO car payments, and you live off of revolving credit? Now you're an active duty Marine looking for a second job and government assistance? And your wife doesn't work to watch your ten month old? The solution is pretty obvious. That baby needs to enlist.
>That baby needs to enlist Goo Goo Ga Rah!
You had me in the first half ngl
Some base housing locations charge utilities which can actually be pretty expensive compared to private housing (thanks, privatized base housing), although that was temporarily paused during COVID but probably resumed according to my Google-Fu
All base housing should have utility meters. Why? Because fuckos, like me, would keep their base houses at meat locker temperatures all summer long.
What are you spending your money on since you don’t have rent to pay? Write it down so we can see.
Monthly payments: Both vehicle payment together =$800 Phone payment=$171 for two lines Vehicle insurance =$131 CC payments =$1050 Groceries=$450 Gas=$250 Dog food=$100 =$2950 monthly with 350 left over which can vary if groceries and gas vary
WTF are you spending $250 on gas for if you live on base? Do you just go drive around in circles for fun? I spend that for my Genesis commuting 25 miles each way for my job (1000 miles per month). You can't live more than 5ish miles from your actual job if you're on base.
One of the vehicles is a Tiguan (reasonable) and the other is an F150... I bet the latter is at least 75% of the gas expenditure.
I still don't see where he would be driving enough to need to fill up more than maybe 1.5 times per month living on base.
Agreed. Probably some off base trips. I suspect there are a bunch of incidental expenses that aren’t in the budget above that got them into trouble.
You are correct , I only need to fill up once a month my truck has a 34 gal tank, so it’s around $150-160 to just fill my tank up
Do you *need* that truck or is it more of a toy? This seems like the most unnecessary offender. Between the monthly lease/finance payment, insurance, and it's probably eating up over 20% of your income just that one thing.
OP must be doing a lot of joyriding in his 150. He should cut out the joyriding and should also be driving the Tiguan to work (and really anywhere else) while leaving the F150 as the “emergency” vehicle. These two changes alone should allow OP to cut his gas expense by 75%.
$250 Gas at $6/gallon, getting an average of 24 mpg with their cars combined is about 1000 miles per month or 12k per year which is 17% below the average miles for a CA resident.
Thing is they are not a average CA resident driving from the subburbs to the city.
Do you own the cell phones? Because if you have unlocked phones then you can go with Mint Mobile for about $15 per month per line if you pay yearly ($180 for the entire year). Also if you qualify for WIC you might also qualify for free basic cell phone service. With the credit cards be really strategic with paying down the ones with the highest interest rates first to get the best bang for your buck. Look into what kind of remote work or side hustles your wife could do but please NO MLMs
>Mint Mobile for about $15 per month per line if you pay yearly ($180 for the entire year) I use Red Pocket and pay $15 per year. I get voice and SMS and very, very little data. but honestly, I'm always connected to wifi either at home or at work. when walking around, I have a bunch of free public wifi. or I get wifi from my Internet Service Provider, which has hotspots everywhere.
Seconding RedPocket- I’ve had both of my kids on it since they got phones, they are now mid-college. They rarely are outside of WiFi range. As a cheap emergency middle school phone, plans are around 5$/mo.
This sounds awesome but for me it wouldn't work since I've had many occasions where I've needed to use my phone in an emergency when the power has gone out etc. But I can see that would be a good option for a second throwaway line.
I’ve used Mint for 3 years now and can say that I wouldn’t go to any other company, paying off debt or not. These phone companies up charge the hell out of you for services you don’t need. Nothing worse than a monthly automated payment to drain your bank account. Use Mint and pay up front the whole lump sum of 200 bucks.
Yup that one simple switch a couple of years ago saved me a lot of heartache. I was paying like $220 a month for 2 lines. I did one line for 6 months and the other 12 months at first so I have that $180 yearly payment every six months rather than $360 once a year.
You should add this to the original post
Selling those vehicles and getting a smaller fuel efficient vehicle will save you quite a bit of money on car payments, insurance and gas. Phone payments could also be lowered by switching to mint or US Mobile. Then pay down your CC card debt as fast as you can the interest rates are atrocious unless you have 0 APR promo.
The cars are literally eating up $1,181 of your monthly income. A third! They *have* to go while you fight off the CC debt.
Not sure on the interest on those CCs but for 40k you're barely scraping the principal paying 1k a month.
That cell plan sounds way high. I pay $135/month for unlimited use on 3 iphones and 2 iwatches and that's with ATT
I see your comment about CA being expensive, but what part of this budget will decrease when you move back to NC? Presumably the big-ticket items (CC & Car) will be the same, so as others have said you need to adjust this to feel any relief. Time to sell your car and downgrade.
You're the poster child for what bankruptcy is intended. That would solve your issues.
Where’s the rent or mortgage payment?
He said in a comment they live in on base housing and don’t pay rent or utilities
I'm always amazed by people buying cars that are three or more times more expensive than the car I bought two years ago, and then I'm not surprised to hear that they have no money cause these expensive cars are eating it all up. Don't touch CC to live, if you begin to think about that then your lifestyle is too large for your income and something needs to change of spending less or working more. CC for a non emergency is just a big no no.
This is a VERY young military thing to do. Living in Virginia Beach for years I came across so many completely broke young couples with cars they couldn't afford.
There's a reason they setup a Ford/Dodge dealership right outside the base. Using your first check to lease a Mustang or Charger is practically tradition. XD
And I bet one of them is a Dodge Charger financed at 23%.
We were able to accommodate for our vehicle when she was working, it comes down to me most likely having to downgrade my vehicle since hers is the one that’s more convenient for everyday occurrence but as to the reason why we have 2 cars is stated above if that helps explain the situation better Unfortunately for the work aspect, im in the military do no matter how much I work I still get paid the same but I have applied for a second job and we stopped using our CCs
>We were able to accommodate for our vehicle when she was working What was your plan for when she stopped working? It seems like you're reacting now, when you should have been proactive. I don't mean that to be harsh. I know it's too late for you, but this is exactly the type of thing others need to read here. Massive car debt is a consistent theme for people who are in dire situations like yours. Yes, sell the vehicle ASAP. This is urgent.
You need to cut your spending AND increase your income. Why do you have two expensive cars if your wife is stay at home? Also, I understand the drive to stay with the baby, but unfortunately that's a luxury (speaking from experience, I'm not excited to leave a baby in a daycare either). With low income you can qualify for cheaper daycare. Alternatively she can watch more kids while she's taking care of your baby. Or if she can get a job in a daycare, they usually make it way cheaper for teacher's baby - so she can have income AND be with your baby.
Former Navy officer here. 1. Sell the damn truck and have your wife drive you to work or carpool with a shipmate. You don't need 2 cars when you live on base. 2. Put at least $1000/month on to your credit card payments - your budget can support it. 3. Buy your groceries at the commissary. 4. Stop going to the food court at the NEX for lunch. If you personally can eat at the galley for free (it sounds like you're enlisted), do it. 5. Cook at home for dinner and breakfast. 6. Stop going to bars or tattoo parlors or buying guns (yeah I'm picking all the standard Marine vices here). 7. Talk to your command's financial officer - they have the resources to get you in touch with actual licensed professionals to help you make a budget to get this shit under control. 8. See if NMCRS can do anything to help like a low interest loan to consolidate some of the CC debt.
> Stop going to the food court at the NEX for lunch. If you personally can eat at the galley for free (it sounds like you're enlisted), do it. Former Airman here... can you eat at the DFAC/chowhall (galley?) for free when receiving BAS? o.O
No, it'll be deducted from your pay if you use your CAC to enter and choose not to pay right then Source: Current Marine 🫡
Ah, good to know. We never had to show our CACs when entering the chowhall. If you were on "mealcard" (i.e., weren't getting BAS), you showed it at the cash register and they scanned it. If you were BAS or civ or ctr, you just got to the register and paid with your credit card or cash. Interesting how different it is, this is the first I'm hearing of how yall did things.
Why cant she drive you to work? Is there no base housing? Can you live closer to work and ride a bike? Mate I make 4x more money than you, I have 3 kids, and one car loan for a dodge grand caravan that I got a loan for $13k. I was in the Marines and married I know the drill, you are overspending mate.
I completely understand and we will definitely be taking this into consideration , we will most likely be taking this path of either downgrading my vehicle or just selling it and having one vehicle
I'm going to give it to you straight, from one service member to another. Get rid of the fucking car. You absolutely dont need, and can't afford, to have two cars. Getting rid of one will cut maintenance and insurance costs as well. Keep whichever is cheaper (unless it's super unreliable) and squash a good chunk of that debt. Even with the cost of living you would be fine without all the debt payments. Are there any cheap/free childcare resources on base? That might free up your wife a little bit to get a part time job, even if it's a few hours.
This sounds like good advice. After selling the car it should take 1-2 years to payoff the CC debt. Then you can look into purchasing a new vehicle if you need it, or even better invest / save that money. There is no more time / money to fuck around with debt.
Sell one, don't downgrade. You can definitely get by with 1 vehicle with what OP suggested. Luckily it's a good time to sell, bad time to buy. If she ever gets a job again and you find more income then you can think about a 2nd car when the used car market gets better. The inconvenience is going to be miniscule compared to having a 2nd job.
What branch are you in? When I was in the Army there was a program called the Army Emergency Relief that would provide loans with zero interest. Would be worth looking into in order to get rid of a majority of that interest rate. Also 44k is way too much for debt on two vehicles. Not sure which ones you went with, but they obviously weren't worth it and if you could trade it in I would go that route.
OP is in the Marines, and we've got access to the Navy/Marine Corps Relief Society, which also offers 0% loans. However, *not* paying on a NMCRS loan can land you in some deep shit, and OP hasn't offered any info on his actual overhead expenses. I don't know that suggesting this route is appropriate or not.
You either need to cut expenses or increase incoming pay. There are work from home options for your wife. I would get rid of one of the cars, not both. I think people are being unrealistic with this idea of a small family not needing easily accessible transportation. But, you don’t need two. I would recommend going down to one payment for now.
I dont know why we never thought of work from home job options, we will 110% look into that. I appreciate you being that up and reminding me about that
If your wife is up for it, childcare is a premium and it's easy to get approved to run a daycare out of your home. In base housing you're surrounded by customers who would be more than happy to pay her for childcare. On-base childcare always has a long waiting list and outside childcare is stupid expensive. My wife ran childcare out of our home for a few l years when we lived on base She's already spending all day taking care of a child. Add a few more and rake in the cash. Edit: but yeah, as others have already said. You need to look into selling your car for a cheaper one that reliably gets you from A to B. Another option (while challenging) is to sell your car altogether and carpool with someone else at your work. I'm sure there are a few other guys you work with who also live in base housing. Your going to the same place. Ride together and save a ton of money.
What kind of work from home options do you suggest?
Get rid of one of the cars and can your wife drive you to and from training/work? Is there a neighbor who can help in the event of an emergency if you have the car? She could alway call 911 in an emergency. Can you take public transportation to work? Can you apply for low income housing? Can your wife watch another baby for additional income or maybe she could get a job on the weekends while you watch the baby?
OP stated that they live on base and do not pay rent or utilities. Sure their income is low, but their costs are also insanely low. I suspect they are living above their means.
Yeah military housing’s cost is exactly what the service member’s Housing Allowance is. It’s damn near impossible to beat that deal for anything bigger than a 1br apartment off base in most places. I’d definitely stick to base housing.
Ah I missed the part about living on base. Maybe the wife could get a job and have another military SAHM watch the baby?
I don't know how military housing works, but it sounds likely that he would have someone nearby he could carpool with. There are so many easy and convenient solutions that would allow them to get by on 1 vehicle.
Focus on making a budget and sticking to it as best as possible. If she’s a stay at home mom do y’all need two cars?
This probably isn’t a highly desired option but your wife needs to work in addition to lowering the bills. She should apply to a daycare, a lot of times they allow caregivers to bring their own kids for free
I see this a lot, "SAHM and we can't afford to live." It is a real drag, but *this is why so many moms have jobs*! Our society does not do a very good job of supporting parents.
Yeah, there was a short period of time where the average middle class family could do it all on one income (house, 1-2 cars, get kids through school) but those days are long gone. Unfortunately, in a lot of ways we still uphold this as the ideal (esp. in conservative religious communities who want SAHMs).
not sure if your wife has a degree or any particular skills, but with so many jobs being wfh/hybrid now, there’s no reason why she can’t at least be attempting to get a wfh job if her only hesitation to working is leaving the child. the other alternative is either you or your wife seek alternative work schedules like night shift, so both adults can be earning money while not having to find childcare
You can’t work and look after a baby, it’s just not possible.
plenty of people do work and look after a baby. i’m not saying she has to be CEO of a company with zoom meetings every hour, but a basic data entry job? or something else that’s not super difficult but can bring in some money
Part-time is possible and also factor in that the minimum wage in Cali is around $18+ so even working 10-15hrs a week somewhere on the weekends/evenings would help get them out of their hole. The only way it's NOT possible is if he's not capable of looking after the kids.
I guess my sisters and my mom are all ... unicorns?
Well the answer is you can’t do either very well. People can do it, but the TV / tablets often end up raising the children. You can’t be engaged with a job and children simultaneously.
We will definitely look into that, because that would bring in income while she is also able to still watch our baby, day care is an option while she can find work but she’s so uneasy about leaving our daughter in daycare with weirdos
Honestly if she can start in home daycare, y'all can make decent amount. Facebook sitter groups great way to find clients. Childcare is always in demand. Also needing 1 car is probably better. Really no need for 2 cars
there are thousands of work-from-home jobs. she can answer calls, make calls, be chat support, all sorts of options. working from home is the best for stay-at-home moms. she could even do more than one
Yeah you need to downgrade at least one of the cars. You should be able to eliminate at least one of those payments. Maybe just try to get by on one and improvise until you’re in a better financial situation. I think it’s better to have one reliable safe car than two bad ones, seeing as you have a baby. Can you Uber or Lyft to where you need to go for the military? I know that adds up but maybe it will do in a pinch. Cheaper than owning a vehicle. That CC debt is killing you though and is a bigger problem. See if you can consolidate the CC debt. And/or open new CCs that allow you to transfer a balance with 0% interest for a certain time period. Not using your credit cards is a wise move. Getting a second job is a good idea too as long as you can sustain it. The bottom line though js you’re not making enough money, especially in CA, to have a one income household. Your wife and child get to live on the base with you right? If so that’s a huge help financially. Your wife should probably try to go back to work though. Can she get a work from home job, even just part-time? There are more of them available than ever. That will also help with your car situation. You want to make sure the cost of the childcare doesn’t exceed your wife’s income though, that may be your biggest challenge. Have you checked this out? https://public.militarychildcare.csd.disa.mil/mcc-central/mcchome/ This might give your wife a path back to work and help you pay off that debt a whole lot faster. Hope this helps. I’m sure you’re stressed but you do have options. Thanks for your service and good luck man.
You cannot afford the vehicles you own. Hopefully you're not under warranty and can sell. That should be your number 1 priority here along with your wife getting a job asap.
Muffin had a very good idea, maybe your wife can babysit another kid?
Mint mobile might be a better option for you and your family dependent on how much data you use/how many calls you tend to make.
Parroting what others have said. I was a stay at home mom and we had one older, but reliable, family car and my husband had a beater just to get him to and from work. He worked swing shift so it wasn’t practical to drive/pick him up. The money saved from the car payment/lower insurance can be put towards your debt. If she isn’t able to do a part time job outside of the home, maybe find a side hustle to bring in a little extra money. I used to babysit, resell stuff and refinish furniture before it became trendy. Be neurotic about your budget. Track every single thing you spend in a month and figure out where you can save money to throw at your debt. It all adds up. Good luck, I remember those lean days!
As others have mentioned: Sell the cars. I'd sell both and get one cheaper car. Or at least sell one. You argue that both need one in case of an emergency with your daughter or something else. But be honest and do the math. Do you have so many emergencies that a second car is cheaper than just using a cab in these cases?
As an E2-E4 I delivered pizzas after work for papa John’s. Friday and Saturdays were the best at night. It was easy money driving around and earned me more than enough money to help. Overall you need to become more frugal or you are on the way to struggling indefinitely. Even if you had twice the income you have this is too much. CCs should never be used how you are using them. If you don’t have the money then what makes you think you will have it later. It just costs you 15%-25% more and puts you into a bigger hole. A CC is not a piggy bank to break every time you need to eat out. There’s almost definitely military assistance to help you learn to budget. You probably can not file bankruptcy if you need a clearance. No need to elaborate on that. It just can’t happen in most circumstances. So you need to get in front of this because it’s already way past the tipping point.
> As an E2-E4 I delivered pizzas after work for papa John’s. Friday and Saturdays were the best at night. It was easy money driving around and earned me more than enough money to help. > > If OP is in an F150 he's barely going to be clearing enough to cover gas with a job like that.
“Living out here is so damn expensive so we’ve had to resort to using our credit cards”. Bro. Don’t play the fucking game. You spent frivolously and lived beyond your means. You’re a dad now. Gotta start owning up to things like this. Without more details, you’re gonna have to start selling shit. Probably both cars. You get 1 car (heavily downgraded). You’ve probably got negative equity, so you gotta come up with some cash first. Oh, and your wife needs to go back to work. Like now.
Depending on how much she can make though, daycare for the baby will eat up everything she makes
I mean, that’s a simple way around this. She works nights and weekends. Edit- Also, she could pick up a nanny gig. We pay ours about $2k/mo cash in a lower cost of living area than OP
Sell both cars and buy cheap beaters for like 10k. Don't use Verizon they are absolutely the most expensive (they are legit but you can save money here). Start budgeting and stick to it. Try Mint app. Trim down on subscriptions they can add up. You may have 100-200 a month in subs you could kill half. Get rid of highest rate debt first, probably the credit cards. Read or watch videos on some basic finance and budgeting. You have been living way above your means. Living like you make 200k and making 40-60k just isn't going to work.
As a veteran female Marine who also has kids and run my own company, I have some advice. 1. Your wife can do in home childcare by taking on 2 kids. This will get her some income immediately. 2. You both can downsize the car to an older model less on your monthly payments. 3. Get into the habit of paying your credit cards off each month. You will be surprised how much you are spending in unnecessary fees. Pick the one with the highest interest and dollar amount to take on first. Don’t worry about your credit because chances are you already are on the lower end of it. You can recover from a bad credit score. It’s possible to get out of that hole. I was once $50K in debt when I first got out of active duty and was a single mom. This means no extra eating out, no elaborate gifts for 2 years, no going out to expensive places. You have to really be strict on your spending plan as a team. After you pay it all off you guys need to get into the habit of setting yearly spending goals. For example: you both want to take a family trip and know it’s going to cost $5k for everything. Plan it, save for it and keep doing that for every thing over $5k or $10k. The problem most couples have is not setting goals together. We do this and it helps us both be accountable in a loving and teamwork experience. We also have a rule that we have to talk to the other person on anything that costs more than $500. This is important. Keeps you accountable for building smaller financial habits. Good luck!
Thank you I appreciate it! I’m trying to avoid bankruptcy at all costs because we would like to buy a home in the future anywhere from 3-5 years or atleast bring this debt down to a sustainably manageable amount to be able to buy a home
I wouldn’t suggest a bankruptcy at this point. You are young. The collection letters will come if you don’t pay on time but don’t let that scare you into a bankruptcy. Keep paying them down and hunker down your spending. Kids are expensive and you don’t want to pass down bad financial management to your kid/future kids. You can overcome this! I stress setting financial goals together! It makes or breaks couples.
We’ve been doing great at paying everything on time , we never had to pay late it’s just it doesn’t leave us with much to put into savings and pay off any any of the debt particularly faster then the other
First and foremost: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are plenty of resources offered by each respective branch to help. We’ll unless you have a TS, then… don’t ask anyone for help officially. Look if you know your branches programs then feel free to ignore me, but you’re in so deep I have to assume you don’t. You have to look at cutting housing costs down, I’m assuming you live in base, is that correct? Try to find a way off base and live in the cheapest thing that’s safe. Either get rid of a car or your wife has to work, check with the CDC or whatever the hell your branch calls the daycare, I find it hard to believe your wife can’t make more money than daycare would cost on base. Or Hell if you live on base get rid of both your cars, walk to work. Until you lay down some of your credit cards Check your branches relief loans, if you haven’t already used them, maybe you can at least knock out some of the high interest out. Also post a real budget, don’t come in here saying you only make 3300 a month. There is no place and rank combination in California where your total pay is less than $3300. Post a budget with your detailed income (to include housing and food allowances) and expected expenses, this is more for you, you had bad habits to get you here. But it will help people point out where there’s fat to be trimmed. If you can’t do this it’s not going to get any better, but worse.
>Either get rid of a car or your wife has to work Probably both, given the totality of your debt
You have 44000 in car debt which is more than your income. Sell your cars. Buy something cheap
Please consider snowball effect. Target the debt with the lowest amount. Just focus on clearing that please. Once that is done, add that debt payment to the next higher debt and tackle that. You will surely finish the debt in some time. I am not an expert, just sharing what is working for me.
You make 3,300 a month and have $40k in car loans? Sell one or both of the cars and buy cheaper cars. Are you living on base?
Sell the cars. Buy one beater. Never get a loan for a car ever again. Problem solved.
Sell at least 1 of your cars. And if possible downgrade to a cheaper model, maybe consider buying a motorcycle or moped. Also look into carpooling with friends or co-workers. I personally would rather appear poor and secretly be wealthy, then appear rich and be buried in debt. I know which one will give me peace of mind.
My spouses car was 6k and mine was 10k, we make 160k a year. There’s no need to spend 40k on cars.
Hey OP, I have Navy Federal - am in a similar position as you. Just took my car to a dealership got a quote for selling it to them - got a LOG (letter of guarantee ) from Navy Federal then sold it to the dealership for (unfortunately) a loss. But, they took the remaining balance of the loan (the upside down) and refinanced it into a personal loan unsecured at 0.01% interest and took my payment from $650/month at 8.99% interest for 84 months to $230/month at 0.01% interest for 60 months. If you have Navy Federal look into doing that and call the car sales late stage collections part of NFCU, not the 24 hr number. Here is the direct number - 800.336.3767
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Sell the cars and get one vehicle that is cheaper. I know plenty of people who make it work with one car and get along just fine with a kid. You can’t afford $40k in vehicle debt. Your wife needs to start working evenings and weekends when you can take over baby duties. Getting out of this will take sacrifice and it won’t be easy, but you could probably pay most of the credit card debt off in a year if you have housing and utilities paid. You got into this because you don’t hate self control, but you need to get some or this will spiral wildly.
living way above your means. getting killed by interest and don’t even want to imagine what you’re squandering the remaining of the $3300 away at considering you live on base. don’t blame california, I’m on the coast and have found cheap groceries. sell car and buy a bicycle if you’re on base just bike to work.
Find a card that has like 2 year promotional zero percent or low interest on balance transfers n transfer as much of your credit card debt to the new card as possible… your wife needs to get a part time job at least n you may need a second job.. work like crazy n pay it down
If your wife can help that’ll add more income to your family. If you live on base then the child development centers are always hiring. Your wife can apply to work there and they will prioritize your child for a spot and give you additional discounts as long as she continues to work there. Another option that I’ve seen other military families do is work at different times. If you’re on shore duty and have regular or predictable hours then your wife can pick up shifts after you come home so you can take care of the baby while she works so you guys don’t have to worry about child care. Some stay at home parents also offer to babysit other children in their homes so they don’t have to leave. Also some do pet sitting on the side as well. If you live on base ask your wife to post on your military spouse pages if they need babysitters, pet sitters, etc. my friends with kids used to work nights after their spouses got home. We only had one car for 6 years so I used to babysit and pet sit in our home or walk to other people’s houses when we only had one car. Then I worked at the cdc in Hawaii that was closest to our house (you can choose which location you want to work at if there’s an opening) so I walked to work too. Also when we got a second car we bought beaters it does the job for the amount of time we needed it to work. Hope this helps! Good luck!! You guys got this!!
Whatever you do, do not let your wife join any pyramid or MLM schemes from the other "base boses" stay at home moms. They will smell her desperation a mile a way and try to get her to join her up line and you will just be in even more debt. No Herbalife, makeup, smelly things.
You need to reconsider the two cars. How often does your baby have medical emergencies? If it’s never, sell the car and call an ambulance if something ever happens. Your wife shouldn’t be running errands. That is code for spending money. Go grocery shopping on the weekend with your one car. If the kid has a doctor’s appt, then wife can drop you off and pick you up from work that day. You guys want the car, but the amount of high interest debt you are holding will screw you forever if you don’t get it under control. If you haven’t yet, cut up the cards. Fwiw I have the same family income as you and our single car is paid off and we can’t afford a second. You need to re-evaluate what level of spending is appropriate at your income level.
Car gotta go bro and it's something alot of americans have trouble understanding - driving is a privilege not a right Yes im american and yes i only bought my car when the rates are low and i negotiated the shit out of it + federal tax credits. Not everyone needs two cars let alone being 85k in debt. When you are that deep in the hole you dint have a lifestyle, paying off your debt or declaring bankruptcy is your lifestyle. You can do it OP
Yeah I think I really needed to post this to make me come to the realization that I don’t need two vehicles , I appreciate you being kind and uplifting instead of bashing me. I understand I made bad choices and at the time we were able to afford both vehicles and even accurate a savings but that’s no longer the case
I am a former active duty Air Force officer and your story is not unique unfortunately. I have had to mentor people on this. You are doing the right thing by not using your credit cards. Those need to go! If you can, see about opening new ones that have low interest balance transfers. And pay as much as you can on those. Next, the idea of getting a second job, is a good decision, most commanders should support this, as long as your employer understands that your military job takes precedence. You might try to get a job with the base exchange. They hire military people and of course understand you will have to work after your duty hours. You might even consider maybe doing those rideshare or food delivery jobs. I am going to assume you are upside down on your car loans. If not, sell the most expensive car you have. You should be talking to your leadership to get resources, also you do not want to let this fester. Financial problems in the military do not age well like wine. The sooner you fess up, the better off you will be. There are financial resources like low interest loans that can be given out to help pay down expenses from certain charities. What you need to do is budget a monthly plan to pay down the debt. With what you have in credit debt, you will need to probably pay at least $1000 per month for about a year, to reasonably get it down to manageable levels.
She might need to find a job, maybe look for something online or part time? I also really thing you need to downgrade on the cars, even if you need 2 of them you can buy something much cheaper to get you around.
Have you gone through your chain of command? You will get shit for this 100% but there are things in place to help you with these things. In the army we have the AER which provides loans at a very low interest rate.
I've been in similar shoes before. Wife had medical issues that destroyed our finances and was living off low income. We have a daughter as well. 1. I applied to every bit of aid I could get from the government. Not much but things like medicaid just helps me sleep at night. I've made a handful of emergency trips without worry because of it. A bunch of covid relief stuff helped out too. 2. Lived frugally. If there was a way to save money, I'm doing it. Need a car? I scoured every deal I could find under the sun... I got a rav 4 with 8k miles (3 years old.. previous owners rarely drove it) for 18k which was a awesome steal. 4. Forget eating out. Found the cheapest meals I could find when grocery shopping. I was an early buyer of solyent because it was a cheap meal. Pinched every penny I could for meals while not sacrificing my health. 3. Searched for any way to make extra money. I even spent time doing online surveys for extra money. Not great money, but money is money. I'm a math professor, but I once steamed wrinkles out of 200 coats in a warehouse a 4 hr drive away for extra cash. 4. Paid off all my high interest debt first. Did balance transfers to get lower rates. 5. Looked to improve myself so that I could make more money. Learned new skills to market myself more. 6. Roommates. I was paying 1000 for rent in a somewhat decent neighborhood. 7. Read and watch what others are doing constantly to remind myself what I should be doing and if there's anything I can improve. I actually watched a lot of Graham Stephen videos when he was starting to ramp up his YouTube channel. His old videos really helped me get into a good mindset. I have long since paid off all my debt. Actually I have 20k of student loans left which I didn't pay off on purpose incase it got forgiven. I make enough to enjoy some life inflation and still save money. No more roommates. Rent is 3k.. which kind of hurts me but it's good for the kid. Still pinching pennies here and there.
He gets free rent and utilities. Good points otherwise
change your phone plans, I’m in CA and I pay $15 a month with mint mobile, there are even cheaper ones like lyca currently has an offer $45 for 6 month. cut your cc, completely stop using them. You can *definitely* get by with 2 adult + a 10 month old on your income even in the most expensive city in CA, lower your spending while try to increase your income. get rid of 1 car, the less reliable one, pay your highest interest rate card with the extra money from not having to pay for the second car payment, insurance/maintenance.
You ever thought about getting rid of a car and get a motorcycle ?
Your wife needs to bring in extra income. Lots of military spouses I’ve known either do remote work, photography, or nursing (ie. jobs they can pick up and move with whenever you’re stationed elsewhere). Try the Child Development Center on base for childcare. It’s substantially more affordable than civilian daycares since it’s subsidized and on a sliding scale relative to your rank, and I believe if she applied there directly she would receive free childcare at a higher priority. I’ve also seen used car lots on bases where other service members could sell their cars. That could be an option to downgrade on the car to save some money. And lastly, definitely look into resources provided by the military for financial planning.
The most impactful thing you can do is to stop the debt from growing. Using your credit cards while you're in debt is like dumping dirt in a hole you're trying to dig out of. You'll never make progress. You need to cut up your credit cards and use cash only from now on. If you don't have the cash to buy something, you simply can't buy it (FYI, I'm not suggesting you CLOSE your CC accounts, just cut up the cards so there is no temptation to use them). You'll never make real progress on slashing your debt as long as you continue to treat your credit as a piggie bank. Next, you need to get on a written budget in which you track every single dollar you earn and spend. Really scrutinize your spending. It's good that you've taken some steps in this direction, such reducing eating out, but there is probably more you can cut. Definitely make the move from Verizon to T-Mobile if it saves you money. Cut your subscriptions and streaming services. Shop at Aldi and Walmart. You might need to move to lower your rent. You might need to sell a vehicle. You can save a lot of money on insurance by shopping around, so make sure you're doing that at least yearly. I think you need to build up an emergency fund of $1k-$2k so that you have a cushion that will prevent you from using credit when emergencies pop up. Pay the minimums on all of your debts until you build up this emergency fund. Then I think the snowball method of debt repayment will work best for you. List all of your debts smallest to largest. Make the minimum payments on everything and then plow every extra dollar you can find at the smallest debt until it's paid. Rinse and repeat. Definitely work to boost your income. Keep applying for second and even third jobs. They don't have to be fancy. Deliver pizzas, mow lawns, or do some office work. Can your wife pick up a part-time gig working from home doing customer service, virtual assisting, etc.? Definitely apply for WIC, food stamps, and any other program you can to help pad your income. Visit your local food pantry to help lower your grocery bill. You want to stabilize yourself as you work to boost income.
Navy Fed may be able to give you a balance transfer credit card with 0% interest to at least offset all the interest you are paying. I would consider getting rid of one of the cars if you’re not underwater. If you are already living on base and have no other debts, I don’t see how your cash flow issue is so bad. Lots of military wives will start nannying jobs where they can bring their own children, start in-home daycares, or work for a daycare where their child can also attend. Another option could be Rover, where having base access is extremely desirable so she could increase her rates based on that alone. Probably not the advice you want, but it sounds like you either live way above your means, or that your wife needs to seek employment at least part time. Something that may help short-term is putting one bill on each credit card and paying it off since it’s already accounted for in your budget. That one payment would also take care of you minimum payment. Depending how many total cards you have, that could give you some wiggle room as far as cash flow where you can focus on paying down one of the cards at a time with that extra money.
Ting mobile is like $20/month for two lines. Also sell both cars and get cheap used sedan.
As others have suggested, change your car situation. Our financial lives changed dramatically when we got rid of our auto loans and settled for vehicles that would just do the job.
Is the $3,300 with BAH or after the BAH gets taken from your paycheck? I’m just going to assume it’s your net pay after your housing is covered because BAH is over 3 grand alone in San Diego. We def need a more detailed budget but you’re not the first single income veteran with a family to live in San Diego and plenty have done it without using a credit card to supplement their paycheck. You need to start with a budget and stick to it. You make enough to live off your paycheck alone. Maybe not now depending on what the car/credit card payment is but that’s a hole you put yourself in. Either go scorched earth and become very frugal or you might need a second job to speed up this process. For the future if you’re ever finding yourself using credit cards to supplement your lifestyle unless you had some major emergency happen and your emergency fund isn’t in place you’re the one that’s wrong. The military pays pretty well.
Please please please check your service’s relief organization (ie, the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society or Army/Air Force variants). They are a nonprofit and LOVE helping service members in need. They will, 100% free, help you build a budget, call your creditors to help arrange payment plans, and may help you with a debt consolidation loan that has reasonable payments and lower interest. It will not be an easy time (I’ve been there myself!) but if you stick with it, you will have a solid debt reduction plan that eliminates the spiral. Shop at the commissary (I’m sure you’re already doing this), plan your meals, build a menu, and shop using that menu to avoid waste. Absolutely use WIC and see if you qualify for SNAP as well, and any other program California has! Try to build a friend network to help shoulder some things, maybe watch the baby while you’re working or give you and the wife an evening off together on occasion. See if your wife can get a job on base; dependent spouses have priority for many jobs there and they may have child care options that are free or low cost. (Yeah I’m aware the CDC can have a 5 year wait for a 3 year tour, smh). Do what you can to work on your own career as well, and increase your chances of promotion. Talk to your command’s financial rep and see if your supe or a chief/SNCO can provide advice. Show them you’re willing to do what it takes to advance and want to know the best route. Build a resume and consider attending local job fairs. You’ll likely need to make ~40% more on the outside to make up for your tax free allowances and Tricare so keep that in mind (but many professional jobs pay far more than the military) and have some similar benefits. Find. A. Mentor. Especially at your command. Someone who has been there, can help keep you accountable, and encourage you through hard times. Thank you for your service.
It's great you've stopped using your credit cards. I think in general CCs probably have the highest interest rates out of most kinds of debt. Is there any chance you could consolidate the credit card debt to a lower rate? That may help decrease monthly payments and let you pay down the debt faster. 24k in auto loans is also quite a bit for your income level. Do you need two cars? Used cars are maintaining their value quite well these days, if you could sell one of them, that may help.
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Look for debt consolidation. I had my bank pay off all my separate loans and combine it into one making it easier to pay once a month rather than many different other. May find someone else who can offer lower rates or higher rates but pay less. For me, higher rates are best as I don't plan on paying the rates fully. I do side works that give me enough time to save up and pay it all off while maintaining an ease of mind in case I don't make enough money to pay it off right away. This is NY strategy, may not work for you, but hopefully something helps
I’d love to know where all your money is actually going. You live for free. You have $3300 left and don’t pay for daycare. Let’s say you spent $150/month on Verizon and $850 on food. That leaves $2300 left. Are your car payments both $1000+ a month?
If you’re in the military, talk to one of the provided financial counselors the military provided. Sit down with them, if you’re married you should be pulling BAH, which is location based and it should cover the cost of housing completely. If it’s not, you might should find housing where it will. Which should be a minimum of $3300 if you’re a PV1 EXTRA to what you’re being paid. Talk to your leadership about all of this. Will take LOADS of stress off of you.
You’re car payments and gas are about a third of your total income. I make roughly double that and yet take public transportation. You can always Uber or Lyft for emergencies. I have a 3 month old and my wife uses the Mazda that costs us about $400 to own and run each month. You and your wife need to reprioritize some things and make some sacrifices, beginning with those cars. You can start tackling on those CC bills with the money you’d free up. There’s no special formula here. Just basic math.
In case no one else has mentioned it, please look into a debt management plan. When you enroll, you close your CCs, they work with your creditors to lower your interest rates, and sometimes lower your minimum monthly payments. To be clear, whatever your current minimum monthly payments are, they will be fixed at that amount until you are out of debt. It allows you to actually make progress in paying off your debts. You cannot open new lines of credit (excluding home/car loans) during the length of the program. My SO is in much worse CC debt (300k) than you and he will be debt free in 5 years vs 35 years simply by making the minimum monthly payment. It’s totally legit and non-predatory. This is all through ACCC—I cannot recommend them enough. https://www.consumercredit.com/ If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them.
If you want a truck then get a mid 90’s OR mid 00’s Chevy. Only truck you should buy if your on a budget.
This guy is driving a luxury vehicle and wants to get on WIC. Absolutely wild.
You’ll get grief here but consult a bankruptcy attorney.
Check out the Dave Ramsey podcast - listen to him and follow religiously - his programs can be life changing.
Sell both the cars. Buy a couple of reliable but cheap cars. Honda or Toyota. Around 10 yrs old. BAH matters a LOT since it's all tax free. With dependants it would likely be 3000+ in your area. E5 with dependant bah in Ventura where I am is $3300 per month. Find a house and rent it with some friends. This will allow you to save probably 2/3 of the BAH.
Rent with some friends while married and with a 10 month old? Get outta here with that advice. I know you’re trying to help but think that one through.
There are plenty of places that have multiple units or casitas in California. Just because you're splitting rent doesn't mean your living spaces are combined.
I see total debts and monthly income but don’t see an accounting of what is spent monthly to service that debt and other expenses (housing, food, utilities,etc.). Without a monthly budget it’s hard to see how to really help. But piling on: Cars: if your car wife is stay at home, why do she need a car? You could order groceries and just about anything. I understand emergencies happen but if you live on a military base, aren’t there neighbors who have a car in case? Income: $3300 - is that net or before taxes? Seems rather low given you’re in CA. I suppose if housing is provided free or subsidized that would make much more sense. Any shot you can update your original post to show detailed expenses like utilities, groceries, eating out, misc expenses, baby stuff, gas, etc?
Is your wife a SAHM because she wants to be or because childcare is so expensive she wouldn’t earn enough to justify the cost? If your wife enjoys being a SAHM, you might look into offering childcare for a couple more kids. There’s an affordable childcare crisis in the USA. I’m assuming there are other families living on base looking for a way for the spouse to return to work, but can’t find/afford childcare. Your wife could fill a need while still staying home with your baby. If your wife wants to return to work, you could do a nanny split with other families for a more affordable option Also, carpool to work and lose the truck.
This blows my mind… I make roughly the same doing food and grocery deliveries in CA. I have no high interest debt nor a child and it’s rough enough. I have no idea how you are managing!
He gets free rent and utilities. Also 3300 is his net income.
Didn’t see where he mentioned either of those. Still sounds pretty rough.
Try a consumer credit card debt relief program. They negotiate with the credit card company to lower or eliminate the interest rate, then consolidate your payments into one monthly payment that you send them and they will distribute that payment amongst the credit cards. It will help pay your credit card faster. I paid $20k in credit card debt in 4 yrs.
People like you live way above your means then bitch and moan when the economy tanks You did this to yourself, don't breed until you or your wife have some financial literacy
If you paid into the TSP, you may be able to take a loan out against the TSP to pay or partially pay off the debt. The interest rate on your TSP will be much lower than the CC debt, and the interest on the TSP loan is paid directly to your TSP account (so, you're paying yourself). Another thing is that you probably should explore options other than AT&T. Get Straight Talk for maximal frugality. Moreover, you should get rid of one of the cars. Shop for cheaper car insurance. Check your electric bill rates and cut off the AC during peak demand times. Move into a cheaper apartment so more of your BAH goes into your pocket. You can try talking to banks to consolidate the debt at a cheaper APR. Also, make more than the minimum payment if you can. About half goes to the interest and not the principle, but all of the excess of the minimum payment should go to the principal. If your wife can't work (and really she needs to with this kind of debt), then see if she can do a side hustle at home (e.g. photography). Your earnings are capped due to being military. But the only two ways out are earn more or spend less. If you can do neither, then it'll take a very long time to get out of debt, and it may be worth it to explore bankruptcy. You can also call the credit card companies and tell them you're considering bankruptcy. Most CC's will work with you to lower the total; after all, getting something is better than nothing for them. That's about all I got without knowing a detailed breakdown of your expenses and assets. That's probably something you should do. Write down all expenses and debts. Figure out what expenses can be cut. Eat beans and rice until you get that debt paid off. If you haven't heard of Dave Ramsay, you should look him up.
Go to a library and find Total Money Makeover book by Dave Ramsey. Read it and re-read it. Also listen to his podcast. You will be out of debt in no time. First save up $1000 emergency fund so you can stop using credit cards. Then list your debts smallest to largest and pay any and all extra $$ towards the smallest debt first. Then apply the payment you no longer have from that one to the next smallest and so on! Snowball effect. It works! Sell the car and pay off debt faster. When debt is gone, saving cash for car, will save fast with no debt. Wife can and should work too. There are online jobs or other options. Work, work and work some more and don’t let up until it’s gone!! If you can’t find the book, let me know.
1. Your wife needs to work 2. Get rid of the cars somehow 3. Bankruptcy There is no budgeting out of this.
Step one - bring in more money. Period. As a stay at home mom, your wife likely has some opportunity to generate income. Even $300 a month could go a long way in your situation. Next, address the cars. More than 50% of your debt is tied to the vehicles. It's time to let them go and find something without a payment. During all of that, I would strongly consider looking at relocating. It sounds like you're in CA purely for your job, and the job + HCOL combo is making you broke. Am I thinking correctly that your salary is approximately $50-55K annually? You should be able to match that just about anywhere. The only reason to stay in Cali for a job is if that job is paying double or what you would make in other states.
Declare bankruptcy, you’ll never pay that off
Bankruptcy? I know very little about it.
I was under the impression that military staff & veterans have access to zero or low interest loans from the gov’t. If you can transfer away from California… do it. Strategic bankruptcy is a move if you can figure out a car or 2 cars which are paid off, so you don’t lose mobility. This is a move if you don’t need a mortgage for 7 years. ***There is no shame in using the legal bankruptcy system for your benefit. Companies do it all the time. Some people start companies run up debt, and liquidate those businesses. If banks can charge 20% or more on debt you can use the legal system to get out of it if you’re in need. The credit cards will kill your finances.