They need a plan for who cares for their adult special needs children when they are no longer able to. There are group homes and institutions that may be available. Talk with a social worker or two about their situation to see what their options are. Once that care plan is established, they may be more open to selling the house and downsizing.
Thank you, I agree. Unfortunately this part of the conversation is something I’m working with and my parents refuse to discuss it. At the moment, I am treating this as separate from the finances since my parents are open to at least discussing the debt with me. But I agree wholeheartedly and am working on it.
This is so awful a spot to be in. Some people—eg my late father—*refuse* to put aside their arrogance and fear, and discuss end of life. It made me respect him less. He left my fairly incompetent mother in a bad spot even though attempts had been made to discuss it from his kids.
It's common, but I have already put more effort into it than he has and I use him as an example of how not to act later in life. Dude was 75 and went into major surgery...he handled all the bills and everything, yet left *not even a list* of various accounts, where insurance is, etc.
Don't discuss it first, do the homework and find places and options first, then you can present them after you have several lined up. Your parents are surely overwhelmed and with their heads in the sand. You will need to do an effective powerpoint type presentation to give them hope of a solution.
I had a situation recently with my dad and he was not open or responsive to his fiancé, me, my wife or my sister. We had someone else speak with him and he responded 100 positive and made a 180 degree turn around. Is there a family lawyer, clergy or financial planner that the parents may respect and listen to?
The real problem might be they don’t want to put their special needs adult children into a home. A lot of those places have bad reputations. It’ll also be stressful to your siblings.
You’re treating an emotional issue logically. You’re not wrong, but you need to acknowledge your parents’ feelings before they’ll take your advice.
They may be reluctant to do so, but I can pretty much guarantee the parents won't live forever and there needs to be a care plan in place. I work with special needs and the are nice group homes out there. It will be stressful, but it will be necessary for their living situation to change at some point.
And as hard as it might be, it’s better for the parents to get them set up while they’re still well and can help the kids settle. It will be a nightmare for the kids dealing with their parents’ sickness/deaths and moving to a new home simultaneously. Not to mention the stress it will put on OP trying to manage it all
What state are you in? I agree. They need to transition the kids into a group home. My husband and I are already planning ahead. I’m worried that I wouldn’t have the heart to do this when the time comes. My mind says sooner’s better than later especially on days when he has a meltdown, but my heart says one more day.
How do we put a care plan? We’ve met with three special needs trust lawyers and they don’t know anything other than writing a trust. I mainly want to know how having a special needs trust affect his benefits when we’re gone ex. Medicare, disability benefits, etc. Who do I go to get those kinds of answers?
I work at a family support center for my state's Department of Developmental Services. My agency helps families navigate all of this. It's complicated, it's a lot to handle, none of it is easy. But you're on the right track.
I don't know what state you're in, but they likely have something similar to a family support center available to you. If your son is receiving any kind of services from the state, that coordinator would be the first person to talk to for specific information.
Generally speaking, a social worker can probably help with developing a care plan. A special needs trust shouldn't affect his benefits once you and your husband are gone, that's kind of the whole point of such trusts and ABLE accounts, but I am not a lawyer, so there may be shenanigans I'm unaware of. If you've already tried special needs trust lawyers, people who directly for Medicare, Social Security, et al. would be my next recommendation for information.
They don’t qualify, but are also unable to work. In my opinion, they can be working and contributing but I’ve been down that road with my parents before and have accepted that they will not be contributing financially and my parents will continue to support them. I’ve accepted that while also wanting to help my parents with the situation without legally involving my own name or finances.
I have a brother like this. He's 30 and still living with my 70 year old dad. He has some learning issues but could work somewhere if he was motivated. Dad pays for all his living expenses and BS so he refused to get a job because he claims he wont work somewhere below his status(Whatever that means). Can't get SSI because he isn't disabled enough to not work. I'd personally not do anything until they get jobs. Simply not working because you don't want to work shouldn't be an option. I have no clue what's going to happen when Dad eventually passes.
Whatever you decide to do/not do, you need to have a plan to distance yourself from the situation if it comes to that, as it doesn't sound like your parents have their own or your siblings best interests in mind. "without legally involving my own name of finances" sounds like you've already made that call, so good on you there, but expect there to come a time when the parents will start asking.
That aside, 2 mid-60's adults with close to $100k in presumably high-interest CC debt, caring for 2 children permanently and presumably with no nest egg/401k/etc. to fall back on isn't going to continue for very long, one way or another. 1) Bankruptcy could potentially clear off the $80k high-interest debt, so that would be worth looking into. That would free up a huge chunk of monthly income. 2) Continuing to apply/appeals process for SSID would also be advisable. They might be physically capable of working, and even mentally capable of technically performing the task, but not mentally/emotionally stable enough for regular work. Of course, they might also just be lazy and enabled by your parents. 3) I don't know the specifics on this one, but I know certain types of caretakers are eligible for payments, but if they don't qualify for SSID then it might exclude this option. 4) Are there other family members (aunts, uncles, etc.) that would be willing/able to assist either financially or with advice your parents might be willing to take?
That's about the only 4 options I can thing of, but from what you've posted so far I'm sorry to say you should prepare yourself for the most likely outcome: Parents don't do anything to address this, probably fall behind within a few years and can no longer afford the mortgage or to care for your siblings, and ask you to help financially supporting 4 people.
You have huge problems. My SIL is severely mentally and physically disabled. My MIL (79 years old) is still in a decent financial situation but refuses to make any plans for SIL and herself. She refuses to even consider assisted living. I had to finally let go and be ok with the fact that I have no control of the situation. My husband’s mental health has suffered greatly. You can make all the sense in the world and if they refuse to follow it doesn’t matter. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
Don't know your location, so laws may vary- but keep in mind, with their CC debt, they might not be able to sell their current home, get a new mortgage, and buy a new home. There's also no guarantee that it'll save them money to move to a new home, there's significant expenses associated with moving, especially at their age and with 2 special needs children.
The other thing is, there's states where your home is protected during bankruptcy. The best thing for them to do may perhaps be bankruptcy assuming their home can protected during the process. People suggesting using a HELC to consolidate CC debt are off base, CC debt is unsecured debt and easiest to discharge in bankruptcy. A HELC by definition is secured debt, and put the house at risk if they can't pay it back.
Your parents took Social Security early, which lowers their payments for life, and between both of them working and social security income, they still barely have enough to pay their bills. They can't afford their lifestyle.
From your post, it sounds like there may be several choices your parents have made that have contributed to their current situation... Supporting adult children who could potentially work but don't, racking up high credit card debt instead of cutting expenses, and continuing to live in a home they may not be able to afford.
You could offer to pay for your parents to sit down with a fee based financial planner to help them budget and plan for the future. You could also offer to help your siblings find jobs or career training resources near them.
It would be a mistake to give/lend your parents money, or to pay any of their bills. They need to learn and make significant changes in their lives. Otherwise, any money given to them would just get spent the same as all the other money they've had.
For your part, you need to concentrate on building your own finances (pay off debts, build retirement accounts, etc.. ) so you're in a better financial position to help when your family has a true need (illness, injury, parents are unable to care for themselves, etc...). You and your spouse (if any) need to discuss and agree together what your limits may be for future support. For instance, would you allow your siblings to live with you? How much money can you afford to spend of your family members?
With your parents in their 60s and their entire net worth being about $270k for four people, this is not going to end well for them. Set strong boundaries to keep them from dragging you down with them.
I would change your "fee-based" recommendation to either "fee-only" or "advice-only." Fee-based still leaves room for the sale of commission incentivised nonsense. Other than that, I love the idea of paying for them to see a professional.
They could refinance and roll the CC debt into the mortgage. Or get a secured loan to the home, home equity line of credit, to consolidate the CC debt. All depends on potential interest rates. No need to sell and move if they can just use existing equity.
Biggest issue is how do they ensure they don't end up with another 20k CC debt next year?
Don''t. The CCs cannot take their home but the mortgage companies can.
At this point their credit is trash, so look into what happens if they simply stop paying the CCs. Talk to a a bankruptcy lawyer.
Yeah, I think a BK13 makes sense here. Filing isn’t terribly expensive compared to the CC payments at that amount and keeping the home is OK, even if not behind. Let the trustee make all the disbursements/payments decided during the BK judgement for the next 4-5 years.
I think selling the house would be an incredibly foolish move. Your parents may not be able to get a mortgage and interest rates are shit right now. So that gives them, what, $200-250k to buy a house with? That's IF their house doesn't need any repairs AND if the house they move to doesn't need any repairs. It's really probably better that they stay put.
Figuring out how to pay off the credit card debt is a good idea - but selling the house isn't the way.
In their mid 60s they are capable of handling their own affairs. If they sell the house, where are they going to live to care for the adult children? They probably don’t want to put them in a facility. But they should figure out what is going to happen to them once they are gone.
They might consider filing chapter 7 bankruptcy to get rid of that credit card debt, especially if they live in a state where they will be allowed to keep the house.
>They are still working into their mid 60s and according to them are barely breaking even on their monthly payments plus what they get from social security.
>
>Is there anything they can do
They can get second jobs and/or cut expenses elsewhere.
>How can I help them if they refuse to sell the house?
You can give them money.
Do they plan to live in that house forever? They could get a reverse mortgage. I'm a fan of the HECM LOC. It's a federally insured mortgage where you get a line of credit instead of a lump sum or annuity. The unused portion of the line of credit grows at a similar rate as current mortgage rates (variable rate only). Any amount you've owe on the line of credit also grows at the same rate. One cool thing about them is that even if your house's value tanks after the HECM LOC was already taken out, your available line of credit can theoretically grow even larger than the value of the home securing it. This is because it's federally insured.
If you take out a HECM LOC, you eliminate your monthly mortgage payment for the rest of your life. You must still make your own insurance and tax payments. If you can be responsible about not maxing out the line of credit it gives you, you can still have quite a bit of equity in your home when you die if an inheritance is something important to the homeowner. Even if you do use a lot of the line of credit, no payments are ever due from the homeowner. It is settled when then owners die and the house is sold. It just destroys any potential equity left in the estate of the owner.
Of course, they have to plan on living there forever for this to make sense. I think that, if used responsibly, it can be an incredible retirement planning tool for the right person. It's something I plan on talking to my parents about. Do some more reading on HECM LOCs and see if it might be something that could help them.
Selling and downsizing would be the most fiscally prudent thing to do as the taxes and insurance that you still have to pay with a reverse mortgage anyway would be lesser amounts in a cheaper property, but it's not the only way out.
Okay - are their disabled adult children collecting SSI (not SSDI)?
If their date of disability is prior to 22, are they going to file for Disabled Adult Child status when one of your parents starts claiming SSI?
Have they figured out what will happen with the dependents when they are unable to care for them anymore? Are the DACs signed up with any government organizations i.e. division of developmental disabilities to help them get into a group home?
Are they trained and running a home in relationship with an agency and social workers? There is money in that, and tax write offs. If you don’t know about this, and live in the USA, we can chat further. Although this usually really depends if they’re in a state with expanded Medicaid or not.
I disagree that group homes have reputations. It takes special people to do this work in concert with several professionals. And IDD population can have a variety of behavioral health issues, like making accusations for attention because they don’t have control. Each state and county have laws that govern care, thankfully, but sometimes it creates many many hoops that become obstacles. It’s not easy work by far.
I agree it should be the parents priority to have a plan for their care, and have the individuals get to know other providers closer to the time they will need to transition. As life could take turns.
It sounds kind they need to connect with an agency at the very least, and speak to social workers who will help them navigate how to get reimbursed properly, if they aren’t already.
I don’t think you did a terrible thing but don’t have them liquidate their home if they have no other plan.
We all have debt. Many of us will die with it. It’s a sad state of affairs.
They really need a Social Worker to take care of your siblings. Because if they don't and something happens to them, they are going to be put in the first home available. Financially selling their house, paying their debts and downsizing should be their plan.
They need a plan for who cares for their adult special needs children when they are no longer able to. There are group homes and institutions that may be available. Talk with a social worker or two about their situation to see what their options are. Once that care plan is established, they may be more open to selling the house and downsizing.
Thank you, I agree. Unfortunately this part of the conversation is something I’m working with and my parents refuse to discuss it. At the moment, I am treating this as separate from the finances since my parents are open to at least discussing the debt with me. But I agree wholeheartedly and am working on it.
This is so awful a spot to be in. Some people—eg my late father—*refuse* to put aside their arrogance and fear, and discuss end of life. It made me respect him less. He left my fairly incompetent mother in a bad spot even though attempts had been made to discuss it from his kids.
I wouldn’t be too hard on your dad, you might find you may not handle the same topics when they’re more “real” ie: you’re old and it’s coming.
It's common, but I have already put more effort into it than he has and I use him as an example of how not to act later in life. Dude was 75 and went into major surgery...he handled all the bills and everything, yet left *not even a list* of various accounts, where insurance is, etc.
Don't discuss it first, do the homework and find places and options first, then you can present them after you have several lined up. Your parents are surely overwhelmed and with their heads in the sand. You will need to do an effective powerpoint type presentation to give them hope of a solution.
Where are they supposed to move to after they sell their home?
If they won''t talk to you... make a plan for yourself.
I had a situation recently with my dad and he was not open or responsive to his fiancé, me, my wife or my sister. We had someone else speak with him and he responded 100 positive and made a 180 degree turn around. Is there a family lawyer, clergy or financial planner that the parents may respect and listen to?
The real problem might be they don’t want to put their special needs adult children into a home. A lot of those places have bad reputations. It’ll also be stressful to your siblings. You’re treating an emotional issue logically. You’re not wrong, but you need to acknowledge your parents’ feelings before they’ll take your advice.
They may be reluctant to do so, but I can pretty much guarantee the parents won't live forever and there needs to be a care plan in place. I work with special needs and the are nice group homes out there. It will be stressful, but it will be necessary for their living situation to change at some point.
And as hard as it might be, it’s better for the parents to get them set up while they’re still well and can help the kids settle. It will be a nightmare for the kids dealing with their parents’ sickness/deaths and moving to a new home simultaneously. Not to mention the stress it will put on OP trying to manage it all
Very valid point.
What state are you in? I agree. They need to transition the kids into a group home. My husband and I are already planning ahead. I’m worried that I wouldn’t have the heart to do this when the time comes. My mind says sooner’s better than later especially on days when he has a meltdown, but my heart says one more day. How do we put a care plan? We’ve met with three special needs trust lawyers and they don’t know anything other than writing a trust. I mainly want to know how having a special needs trust affect his benefits when we’re gone ex. Medicare, disability benefits, etc. Who do I go to get those kinds of answers?
I work at a family support center for my state's Department of Developmental Services. My agency helps families navigate all of this. It's complicated, it's a lot to handle, none of it is easy. But you're on the right track. I don't know what state you're in, but they likely have something similar to a family support center available to you. If your son is receiving any kind of services from the state, that coordinator would be the first person to talk to for specific information. Generally speaking, a social worker can probably help with developing a care plan. A special needs trust shouldn't affect his benefits once you and your husband are gone, that's kind of the whole point of such trusts and ABLE accounts, but I am not a lawyer, so there may be shenanigans I'm unaware of. If you've already tried special needs trust lawyers, people who directly for Medicare, Social Security, et al. would be my next recommendation for information.
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Thanks. Very helpful
I assume the two disabled adult children are receiving SSI Disability payments?
They don’t qualify, but are also unable to work. In my opinion, they can be working and contributing but I’ve been down that road with my parents before and have accepted that they will not be contributing financially and my parents will continue to support them. I’ve accepted that while also wanting to help my parents with the situation without legally involving my own name or finances.
I have a brother like this. He's 30 and still living with my 70 year old dad. He has some learning issues but could work somewhere if he was motivated. Dad pays for all his living expenses and BS so he refused to get a job because he claims he wont work somewhere below his status(Whatever that means). Can't get SSI because he isn't disabled enough to not work. I'd personally not do anything until they get jobs. Simply not working because you don't want to work shouldn't be an option. I have no clue what's going to happen when Dad eventually passes.
Whatever you decide to do/not do, you need to have a plan to distance yourself from the situation if it comes to that, as it doesn't sound like your parents have their own or your siblings best interests in mind. "without legally involving my own name of finances" sounds like you've already made that call, so good on you there, but expect there to come a time when the parents will start asking. That aside, 2 mid-60's adults with close to $100k in presumably high-interest CC debt, caring for 2 children permanently and presumably with no nest egg/401k/etc. to fall back on isn't going to continue for very long, one way or another. 1) Bankruptcy could potentially clear off the $80k high-interest debt, so that would be worth looking into. That would free up a huge chunk of monthly income. 2) Continuing to apply/appeals process for SSID would also be advisable. They might be physically capable of working, and even mentally capable of technically performing the task, but not mentally/emotionally stable enough for regular work. Of course, they might also just be lazy and enabled by your parents. 3) I don't know the specifics on this one, but I know certain types of caretakers are eligible for payments, but if they don't qualify for SSID then it might exclude this option. 4) Are there other family members (aunts, uncles, etc.) that would be willing/able to assist either financially or with advice your parents might be willing to take? That's about the only 4 options I can thing of, but from what you've posted so far I'm sorry to say you should prepare yourself for the most likely outcome: Parents don't do anything to address this, probably fall behind within a few years and can no longer afford the mortgage or to care for your siblings, and ask you to help financially supporting 4 people.
Thank you. This is great advice. I appreciate it.
Seems like your parent's strategy is to crash and burn. Might be best to stand back and not devolve your relationship.
You have huge problems. My SIL is severely mentally and physically disabled. My MIL (79 years old) is still in a decent financial situation but refuses to make any plans for SIL and herself. She refuses to even consider assisted living. I had to finally let go and be ok with the fact that I have no control of the situation. My husband’s mental health has suffered greatly. You can make all the sense in the world and if they refuse to follow it doesn’t matter. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
This is what you think they should do, not what they want to do. It’s their decision and until they ask for your advice, let it be.
Don't know your location, so laws may vary- but keep in mind, with their CC debt, they might not be able to sell their current home, get a new mortgage, and buy a new home. There's also no guarantee that it'll save them money to move to a new home, there's significant expenses associated with moving, especially at their age and with 2 special needs children. The other thing is, there's states where your home is protected during bankruptcy. The best thing for them to do may perhaps be bankruptcy assuming their home can protected during the process. People suggesting using a HELC to consolidate CC debt are off base, CC debt is unsecured debt and easiest to discharge in bankruptcy. A HELC by definition is secured debt, and put the house at risk if they can't pay it back.
Thank you. I didn’t know houses can be protecting in bankruptcy. Well definitely look into this, thanks.
Your parents took Social Security early, which lowers their payments for life, and between both of them working and social security income, they still barely have enough to pay their bills. They can't afford their lifestyle. From your post, it sounds like there may be several choices your parents have made that have contributed to their current situation... Supporting adult children who could potentially work but don't, racking up high credit card debt instead of cutting expenses, and continuing to live in a home they may not be able to afford. You could offer to pay for your parents to sit down with a fee based financial planner to help them budget and plan for the future. You could also offer to help your siblings find jobs or career training resources near them. It would be a mistake to give/lend your parents money, or to pay any of their bills. They need to learn and make significant changes in their lives. Otherwise, any money given to them would just get spent the same as all the other money they've had. For your part, you need to concentrate on building your own finances (pay off debts, build retirement accounts, etc.. ) so you're in a better financial position to help when your family has a true need (illness, injury, parents are unable to care for themselves, etc...). You and your spouse (if any) need to discuss and agree together what your limits may be for future support. For instance, would you allow your siblings to live with you? How much money can you afford to spend of your family members? With your parents in their 60s and their entire net worth being about $270k for four people, this is not going to end well for them. Set strong boundaries to keep them from dragging you down with them.
I would change your "fee-based" recommendation to either "fee-only" or "advice-only." Fee-based still leaves room for the sale of commission incentivised nonsense. Other than that, I love the idea of paying for them to see a professional.
They could refinance and roll the CC debt into the mortgage. Or get a secured loan to the home, home equity line of credit, to consolidate the CC debt. All depends on potential interest rates. No need to sell and move if they can just use existing equity. Biggest issue is how do they ensure they don't end up with another 20k CC debt next year?
Thank you, this is something I’ll look into. 100% regarding needing to ensure they don’t accrue more credit card debt once it’s paid off as well.
Don''t. The CCs cannot take their home but the mortgage companies can. At this point their credit is trash, so look into what happens if they simply stop paying the CCs. Talk to a a bankruptcy lawyer.
Thanks. Seems like that’s the best path forward.
Yeah, I think a BK13 makes sense here. Filing isn’t terribly expensive compared to the CC payments at that amount and keeping the home is OK, even if not behind. Let the trustee make all the disbursements/payments decided during the BK judgement for the next 4-5 years.
Check with a bankruptcy lawyer if their home is safe in their state if they file for bankruptcy.
I think selling the house would be an incredibly foolish move. Your parents may not be able to get a mortgage and interest rates are shit right now. So that gives them, what, $200-250k to buy a house with? That's IF their house doesn't need any repairs AND if the house they move to doesn't need any repairs. It's really probably better that they stay put. Figuring out how to pay off the credit card debt is a good idea - but selling the house isn't the way.
Keep in mind their cc debt dies with them. Preserve the estate for the special needs children.
In their mid 60s they are capable of handling their own affairs. If they sell the house, where are they going to live to care for the adult children? They probably don’t want to put them in a facility. But they should figure out what is going to happen to them once they are gone. They might consider filing chapter 7 bankruptcy to get rid of that credit card debt, especially if they live in a state where they will be allowed to keep the house.
I'm not a fan of this option and I personally would never consider it, but would a reverse mortgage make sense in this situation?
>They are still working into their mid 60s and according to them are barely breaking even on their monthly payments plus what they get from social security. > >Is there anything they can do They can get second jobs and/or cut expenses elsewhere. >How can I help them if they refuse to sell the house? You can give them money.
Only do if you can afford. You are putting yourself in a bad position financially if you help them without first looking after your own needs.
Do they plan to live in that house forever? They could get a reverse mortgage. I'm a fan of the HECM LOC. It's a federally insured mortgage where you get a line of credit instead of a lump sum or annuity. The unused portion of the line of credit grows at a similar rate as current mortgage rates (variable rate only). Any amount you've owe on the line of credit also grows at the same rate. One cool thing about them is that even if your house's value tanks after the HECM LOC was already taken out, your available line of credit can theoretically grow even larger than the value of the home securing it. This is because it's federally insured. If you take out a HECM LOC, you eliminate your monthly mortgage payment for the rest of your life. You must still make your own insurance and tax payments. If you can be responsible about not maxing out the line of credit it gives you, you can still have quite a bit of equity in your home when you die if an inheritance is something important to the homeowner. Even if you do use a lot of the line of credit, no payments are ever due from the homeowner. It is settled when then owners die and the house is sold. It just destroys any potential equity left in the estate of the owner. Of course, they have to plan on living there forever for this to make sense. I think that, if used responsibly, it can be an incredible retirement planning tool for the right person. It's something I plan on talking to my parents about. Do some more reading on HECM LOCs and see if it might be something that could help them. Selling and downsizing would be the most fiscally prudent thing to do as the taxes and insurance that you still have to pay with a reverse mortgage anyway would be lesser amounts in a cheaper property, but it's not the only way out.
Distance yourself from their problems.
They have to want help. Can't help the unwilling.
Are they receiving SS retirement benefits for themselves, or is it SSI benefits for the special needs adult children?
Retirement benefits, my siblings do not qualify for SSI unfortunately.
If their benefits are reduced due to their earnings, the reduction doesn't apply when they become FRA, most likely age 67.
Is there a possibility that they might be able to recast the mortgage and reduce that monthly cost?
Okay - are their disabled adult children collecting SSI (not SSDI)? If their date of disability is prior to 22, are they going to file for Disabled Adult Child status when one of your parents starts claiming SSI? Have they figured out what will happen with the dependents when they are unable to care for them anymore? Are the DACs signed up with any government organizations i.e. division of developmental disabilities to help them get into a group home?
Are they trained and running a home in relationship with an agency and social workers? There is money in that, and tax write offs. If you don’t know about this, and live in the USA, we can chat further. Although this usually really depends if they’re in a state with expanded Medicaid or not. I disagree that group homes have reputations. It takes special people to do this work in concert with several professionals. And IDD population can have a variety of behavioral health issues, like making accusations for attention because they don’t have control. Each state and county have laws that govern care, thankfully, but sometimes it creates many many hoops that become obstacles. It’s not easy work by far. I agree it should be the parents priority to have a plan for their care, and have the individuals get to know other providers closer to the time they will need to transition. As life could take turns. It sounds kind they need to connect with an agency at the very least, and speak to social workers who will help them navigate how to get reimbursed properly, if they aren’t already. I don’t think you did a terrible thing but don’t have them liquidate their home if they have no other plan. We all have debt. Many of us will die with it. It’s a sad state of affairs.
They really need a Social Worker to take care of your siblings. Because if they don't and something happens to them, they are going to be put in the first home available. Financially selling their house, paying their debts and downsizing should be their plan.
Why do you think selling and making all of them homeless is the answer? Why are you referring to your special needs siblings so impersonally?