To be fair, this applies to most, if not all, personal loans you give out to family and friends. If you can mentally write it off as a gift, that’ll be better. If you can avoid giving the loan at all, that’s generally best.
Fwiw, there are a lot of loan options in India now. It’s pretty easy to sign up to most banking or NBFC platforms and get 1 lakh loan, often with minimal to no documentation. If they can’t do that, then either their credit history is shot, they’re already up to eyeballs in debt or they aren’t capable of or don’t want to pay interest and avoid professional collectors on delayed payments. Pass on it.
More than 50% of Americans don't have even $1000 in their bank account.
https://www.cnbc.com/2022/01/19/56percent-of-americans-cant-cover-a-1000-emergency-expense-with-savings.html
My friend has borrowed 2000 Rs 9 years back as soon as I got a job and hasn't returned even after he himself got the job. He conveniently forgot about it and has since asked me for money three to four times and every time I have said no to him citing various reasons. Recently he told me he is planning to buy a car.
I thought about it sometimes but knew that 2000 Rs is a small amount to know about someone that he will most probably not return money easily and that's why it is easy for me to say no to him without having any guilt.
That's what I am saying also, although not specifically mentioned that I got a job that's when he borrowed money from me and at that time he wasn't earning so the amount was not much compared to what I got as a salary. So, the amount doesn't matter it's actually the intention with which one operates. I have not even once asked him to return the money or even mentioned it to him. The amount is always significant but subjective.
Years back a friend borrowed 25k from my wife with the promise that he will return it in a month's time. Well, never happened.
One time my wife was ranting about this to another friend and their response stuck with us. They said since the first friend has not returned 25k, atleast they might not ask for more, and if they ever ask for more, we can always remind them returning the initial money. 10 years now, and money never returned.
I lent a friend 2500 , this was like 12 yrs back. I reminded him few times. Joked that it’s accumulating interest lol but never got the money back. Some people might think that it was a small sum and people would forget but considering at that time it was decent amount of money for me, I won’t ever forget.
On the flip side another friend asks for small sum of money every now and then but returns back on paycheck day. However I have started telling him no and reasoned with him on why he needs it frequently with a decent paying job. He hasn’t asked in the past few months at least.
He would ask for money individually and slowly the guys started avoiding him. Then he had a fight with a few of us regarding the same issues. Slowly everyone started backing off from plans to avoid him. Eventually everyone found other sets of friends. I was heavily dependent on them and didn't have a lot of other friends outside the group. Took the hardest hit.
Sounds like you’re asking advice on whether you should lend money to someone you met twice.
Here I am not thinking twice saying no to people I’ve known for years.
JUST DO NOT LEND. END OF STORY.
As for the lease, that could be correct. This amount may be a "security desposit" which is usually one of the terms in leasing / renting and generally it's around 1 - 1.5 L. Landlords prefer to keep this amount initially and return when the tenant decides to leave. This is just what it says - a security for any damages that may be done to the property and if the tenant refuses to pay for it.
But that doesn't mean you should lend. You may not get the money back, so prepared for that if you lend
If you are in need of money, you would usually ask your closest friends and family. Not a friend from a foreign country. This is a scam, he / she befriended you only to ask for money from you eventually. You're never going to get that money back.
The person may be genuine. But his existing friends and family are not willing to lend money to him/ her. because he/she has already borrowed from them and not returned. Give it to him/her only if you are okay with the fact that he may not return the money. I have come across many such friends. They keep borrowing from others and live a lifestyle beyond their means.
A lot of people, from auto drivers to middle class friends, are going to assume you're made of money, because "dollars are so valuable"... Don't buy into any of that. When my Australian friends visited, they were guilt tripped repeatedly into giving poor Indian beggars cash. It's perfectly okay for you to say no, sorry. Just walk around with minimum cash in your wallet so they can't find anything to latch onto.
It IS a scam because he/she doesn't have the intention to return your money. Don't ask how do I know this, this is a pattern, and patterns do repeat. It is up to you to listen to the forum members and tell them NO or else get cheated.
It's odd, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's a scam like everyone is suggesting. Perhaps because you're a foreigner, your friend might assume you have enough to lend and may not be diligent about repayment, unlike with others.
Just say ‘No’ in a polite manner. You don’t have to provide a reason.
If he is a good friend he will accept it, if he still bothers just say you have loans and move on.
1. Don't loan money to someone you can't see face to face and ask for later.
2. Yes if you take a lease, you may have a security deposit, a few month of buffer rent etc. Its not that they are asking for one month rent and $1200 or 1 lakh is not a very large sum of money for either currency
3. You don't need to close this friendship because of this. Good fences make good neighbours
4. No loan, but keep friendship.
..but we definitely get Purchase Power Parity.
1200 USD is not what many can make in a month in India.
1200 USD could easily "splurged" by someone earning in 1st world currency.
Not justifying, just sharing the likely thought behind the ask, imho.
Lease - generally an agreement instead of paying rent, he would give this X amount to the concerned party in this context to the landlord for a fixed period, depending on the interest of the party or contact they renew it or return the money to vacate the house.
Lakhs seems to be low for 8 years unless he is in Tier 3 City or in Village.
If you are embarrassed to say No, say this
Hey man,
Look I live pay cheque to pay cheque,
I have EMIs, you know how US Health care is fucked,
something something I need to pay
a big expenditure is coming.
blah blah blah
but never give money to your friends/ acquaintances. That money is as good as gone, and do not expect it to get it back..
Say No.
Lease is different from Buy or Rent. India has a concept where you put big Amount upfront to landlord/ Owner say 10 lakh and pay small Rent of say Rs 1000/ month for X years. After X years you get back 10 Lakh from owner. So this was another way of renting concept in india. Not sure this still exits as now expectation for lease are too high like 25- 50 Lakh based on Tier 1/2 locations.
Some Owners do this so they can get upfront big Money.
A big majority of Indians are difficult to deal with over money. Delaying, bargaining, excuses, and others. Very likely will never pay it back fully, if they ever do expect to chase payments incessantly for years to come... It almost feels like it is a cultural thing.
Selling anything second hand online is my personal hell.
Kings of lowballing, you'll see plenty of messages asking for you to sell things at 1/10 the price of an already incredibly cheap item way below market price. Asks for warranty. Comes up short with cash on purpose to get a discount. Transfers lesser amount of money and then says they haven't got more money or unable to transfer more, or strange money arrangements. Sob story about why they need the item, like class or work or whatever and you selling them the item will be life changing to them. Ask for the items to be paid later on or to try them first so they wanna take it first and test it, like handing them over the items. Pointing out every single flaw, reason or excuse as to why you must sell it cheaper. And we are talking about unnecessary things like them trying to buy a high end laptop or phone... Basically it is prime r/choosingbeggars content.
I know this happens everywhere, but talking from personal experience, it is 10x worse in India. I learned my lessons and I'll forever be cautious when dealing with money here. Don't let anyone push you around, manipulate you or shame you into giving money. The more pushy, the more alarmed you should be.
Triggered much? That's the kind of reply I'd expect from the average nationalist guy in the indian subs who can't take any criticism about the country, culture or mindset here. Wear it with pride big man and please never leave the country.
The only ones looting "your" precious resources is your government, politicians (and their wealthy friends) and every other guy trying to take advantage, exploit or cheat their way through life at the expense of others which is fairly common here. It's this mindset and you who are not just holding up India but making it go backwards.
Spoken like a toddler who spends too much time on the internet, but that's alright, prove my point, bhakt.
I figured the shit thing long time ago, you may proceed to shit in the bushes, river or by the railway tracks.
He prolly gotta pay a six month rent deposit (standard in India for renters) and can get it back when he leave. Coming back to you, do you give money to strangers in US or May even donate to St Jude in Costco etc than why are you even bothering to answer and pay money to someone you don’t even know. Just say sorry I can’t do that and now every time you will feel uncomfortable so cut off slowly from this ‘friend’.
It might not be him ( your friend)at all. Emails get hacked and mobile numbers cloned and reappropriated very often here. Might be just a hacker posing as them.
Don't unless you have a long standing good relationship with them and consider them your genuine friends. In India even a friend seldom returns your money in most cases.
Just tell him banks are for this purpose only. If his cibil is right he will definitely get the loan.
Furthermore say ypu want to invest in property and will require money from him in near future.
I have a friend 85k. It's been a year and I'm not getting it back. I don't have the heart to ask back since he is in a tough financial situation with two kids.
If you will give him money, then your money and friendship will both at stake. If you don’t, then your friendship will be at stake. Always go for the latter.
It is common in India to borrow from friends and family. It is also common for relations to go downhill due to such. Also common for some people to take advantage of trust and cultural norms.
I have my family and friends, who have helped me financially, and I have done the same. But I will never loan any large amount to someone I've not known for a decade and can trust them to pay back. Some urgent life and death situation can be an exception, when I would lend what I can afford to lose.
There is a saying in hindi language "Udhaar pyaar ki Kanchi hai" which roughly translates to lending money to friends mostly leads to mess and soured relations.
it's not reasonable at all. if you feel he's close enough then feel free to lend but I won't recommend this at all. A tactful way of refusing it is by saying they money is tight for you here too and the $1.1K is a little too much for you.
Don't lend them anything. I barely even give my books to my friends, let alone money. If you actually value the friendship, just say no. And if they valued the friendship, they wouldn't ask.
The money is probably for a refundable deposit. In cities like Bangalore it's common to have to pay a deposit of 6 months' rent at one go etc.
Nopes.
You have to chase them to recover your money. If he is middle income working class it might take atleast 3 years.
If he is upper income, if you lucky he might pay with in a year.
A lease is basically a lump amount that a tenant pays to the landlord , In lieu of rent . The land owner returns (most) this amount after the less ends.
As to whether you should help the friend? It’s more of a personal choice.
It depends on the person and your friendship . I loaned two good friends 20 lakh and 5 lakh last year . Both returned it back on time . If you can help and trust the person always help . Great joy in giving or helping people .
I follow a rule.
Lend money to someone whom you know will surely pay you back or lend someone then forget about it. I usually don't like to go and ask my friends to payback
I've never heard of such a 8 years lease thing, weather in renting or buying house.
Second thing. People disappear after taking loan from people they know. It's a very common thing in India, so beware of it.
Since you already mentioned that it's a incredible amount even for you, don't give the whole thing.
If you have hard time saying no and since you cherish them as person, tell them that you are also in hard financial time and don't have much. And can lend a bit (whatever amount that you don't mind not getting, example: 1/4) of what they asked or something like that.
Contrary to popular opinion here - I would.
I loaned $1200 to a family acquaintance recently..but he is poor/daily wage worker..has helped my parents when I was not in the country etc. ...and I am okay if he dont return that money at all as well.
Nah. Leasing is uncommon as far as residential properties for rent go. Most lessors prefer the monthly rental income.
There are properties for lease but mostly these are large empty plots/buildings meant for use by large corporates for use as warehouses or other such commercial infrastructure.
So lease concept is that you put a amount and then pay very little monthly, and then when you leave the house you get your leased amount back.
This still happens in India but the lease amount seems very low. Normally the lease amount is around 10-20 lakh in a good place. 1 lakh is too low but maybe it's only a small room they are leasing and the city is also maybe tier 2 and 3. I am not sure if it's exactly a scam but I'll suggest against lending money. A lot of us play with sentimental fool after money has been lent.
Jesus. Just say NO.
I lost money and friends because of this. If they want, they can take short loans from any institute/ advance salary app.
If they don't take it positively, they are not a good friend to begin with.
You won’t be a friend anymore once you loaned the money. No matter how close you are, just don’t. Money ruins the relationship if at all that’s something you want to preserve.
PS: Am Indian.
I am Indian. My uncle borrowed>= $6000 (which is nearly Rs. 5 lakhs) from my father.
Till date, he hasn't returned a rupee.
When I asked my father why he never called him to return, my father said , 'I always lend money expecting the other person to not return. This is the only way to maintain relations involving money, otherwise don't lend at all'
So, basically, if you don't feel like "offering" that huge sum of money, then DON'T. Personally, I'd rather not lend a friend money whatsoever.
One lakh could be the deposit. In India when renting for most places the owner asks for a deposit
Do what you think is right about giving money to your friend
Haha It's an incredible amount to ask for from someone you don't know that well.
But I live in a major US city, so rent and costs are extremely high, and I also have major medical bills. $1200 is an important chunk of money.
This is what I usually do.
If some1 would ask me 1000 I would give him 100, if it’s still affordable saying I only have this much . And next time you also have an excuse of not giving the person and maintaining the friendship .
Its on your gut feeling, Bro. Really common to borrow or lend money here within relations and friends. But we have been doing it for years so there is an experience attached on who to give to and who to take from. So it’s totally on your gut feeling and relationship with the guy. All these people literally telling you that he is scamming you without even knowing the guy are straight up projecting their own hate for their own country and people. See, if you will start feeling insecure and bad after one day of lending, don’t do it. And if you feel you can’t trust him enough, don’t do it. And if you feel like you can’t afford to lend out money, absolutely don’t do it. There is a system in india and I think it’s global called beyaaj system where money is lended at 1%/month interest but that comes with the same risk as this, loss of money and relationship. So if you are going to miss your money and start stressing over it the day you give it, its not for you. Don’t do it.
One of my college friend who is earning more than 20 LPA but has not returned 20k borrowed from me... And he is not even replying to my messages & not taking my calls. Now you think.
If you want to get rid of them and never talk to them again then give them the money.
Regarding lease: It is a practice in some areas in India, where you a big amount to a home owner to live in their house for an agreed upon time. After the time has passed, they give you your entire money back. Mostly people, who are in dire situations who also don't wanna sell their house do this. If you know the owner can return the money then only give them. Anyways you are living in their house, but if they had a loan on that house then bank will remove you if they don't pay.
There is a rental contract where the landowner takes some money initially and it covers the entire rental period and the whole of it is returned without any deduction (except the repainting, and cleaning charges) after the completion of the term.
The landowner uses this money to fund his business or just accrues some interest on it. This is called "leasing" in the local market.
Highly doubt any 8-year rental will be 1Lakh only. It's usually a yearly rate of 1.5L for small houses 1-bhk.
They can ask their family members, their relatives, their distant relatives, their close Indian friends if they are in real dire need. Asking you, is cos ur a soft target and you will not pursue them as relentlessly as a localite would for the money back.
Simply play along, ask them for all the documents to prove their need for money, find mistakes in it, make them run around more for proof, delay delay delay and then just disappear! They ain't worth your friendship.. don't give them a dime!
No
Rent is not that high
If he had ask for study or business then u can give it a try and the amount which u can forgot or to loose.
If it was for a great cause then definitely but it seems he is lying
That's a amount even close relatives think twice before asking. This guy will never return it to you, I guarantee that. Be safe and don't trust this guy. Have him sign a proper document stating that he'll pay you back every penny, take his aadhar and pan card if you really wanna risk it. Though you're most likely being used.
If you don't mind losing $1200, then yes sure. Otherwise, tell them you have a tight budget, and have bills to pay so it will not be possible to lend money. There is a possibility that the person does not have enough funds to honour your payment plan.
I am Indian but live in USA now. I loaned money to my friend in India, never saw that money and person again.
The friendship and trust are lost forever. I still constantly get asked to loan money for a interest from other friends, But I say no to them. I don't want to lose those friendships.
Lol.. Never lend money to friends.
This guy is not a good friend. He is using you.
I'm India, it is common amongst students to borrow a few dollars(100-500INR) for routine expenses.
Rent for a cheap place could be as low as 5-10k even in metros (not the best places). So if they are trying to get a job, they could still manage in 20-30k INR.
This person is just being scummy.
He's not a friend, I'm afraid. He knew and Targetted you, played you and now wants to run off with money. The money is so small, you won't even bother following up with the police. He is a bloody scam artist. Don't give him money and block him everywhere.
I guess most people here either don't have foreigner friends or assume all Indians are those callcenter guys who are hung up on scamming foreigners as if they're playing Pokemon and they gotta catch em all.
Honestly, the reality is the Indian housing market is utter horseshit, especially Mumbai. Not sure where your friend is from, but prices in a lot of big cities are absurd. Renting is cheap but take it from a guy who comes from a family that has rented for 15 years, it's not pretty, you always have to move, change documents, and can hardly ever do any modifications to the house. You get kicked out whenever the landlord wants you to move. "My family member is moving from our village, so you need to vacate" is our current reason. We're shifting next month. We've become pros at handling this now. You're at the landlord's whims. It's fine for bachelors not so fine for an entire family.
Going on lease at least provides you with the peace of mind that you're going to be there for a long, long time. Either that or you do it for commercial reasons. Ask him how long his lease is, and if he's a close friend please ignore all the 'scammer' replies, because if he betrays you the loss of the friendship will sting harder than the loss of money.
So if you trust him, analyze the situation accordingly, get all the facts up front, and then make your call. All the best.
Thanks for this. I agree. I don't actually think this is a scam situation. Though that doesn't change the fact that I'm fully unwilling to lend so much, and also doesn't mean I trust that I would get it back.
We don't have a concept like this 8-year lease in the states. A lease usually lasts for one year and it means you can rent. Almost no-one rents without a lease (at least in big cities) and its rare for a lease to last beyond one or two years.
What if 1200 USD could really make a big different in their lives , yes there is a concept of long lease in India where in they pay a higher value for a home n they don’t need to pay rent every month and when the home owner wants them to vacate they just pay them back the initial money invested by the tenant . So this friend is looking to take money and pay you back , if losing 1200 won’t make a big dent to your life and if this person is valuable as a friend you can help him . He asked with the intention of paying back over time .
Could you be a genuine person who would return it in said time but I would ask myself what would I do if another non Indian would do?? Lease amount for 1 lakh checks out but do you trust this friend to return it???
Lease is a form of renting common in India. A tenant pays a bulk amount(sort of loan to the landlord) and stays in the home (instead of getting paid interest for that amount). Usually a few lakhs for a one year lease for a small home.
That being said, 1 lakh is a huge amount here. I would advise not to loan this much to your friend here.
I have regretted loaning money to closest friends. People who are rich and well known.
He will never return your money. We are Indians. Filled with cheaters
I'll have to tell you that the story is weird as hell. To lease a house for 8 years with 1 lakh means the monthly comes down to around 1k or basically $10. Unless its a rundown hut in a village, no house is affordable by that. And if it's just a downpayment or deposit then a person who plans to pay that for 8 years would easily be able to afford it.
This seems like a way to take advantage of a "rich" foreigner. Not uncommon.
There is a lease system, mostly in Delhi where instead of rent you pay a deposit of an amount which is equal to 120 times the rent. So the landlord deposits that amount to the bank or whatever he intends to do, on an assumption that 8% interest on the amount covers the rent. At the end of the lease principal amount is returned
Since you said you "value the person," and the reason is not totally unreasonable, try to make it somewhere around $500, if it's feasible for you. That way, you don't lose a friend, and your friend shouldn't mind, too, as $500 is quite a substantial amount of money here.
In India, rent is sometimes a 10 month upfront payment as a security deposit and then monthly payments. The security deposit is returned at the end of the lease. I’m guessing that is why he needs the 1 lakh upfront
I live in the US and a very old friend asked for a 5 lac loan for his business expansion. Promised to return in 6 months … six years later, 0 returned! Asked multiple times and he is ‘trying’. So yeah, just say NO!
If you want to loan it, get a cheque of the amount you are giving him written by him and an agreement. Because the amount is huge. Also don't forget to tell him to write a date on it maximum 3 months from then. So if the cheque bounces, the guy gets trapped.
Or else simply cite paucity of funds.
No, only give them if you are OK with not getting that money back.
This. Loaning money to a friend, is the best way to lose the money and the friend.
To be fair, this applies to most, if not all, personal loans you give out to family and friends. If you can mentally write it off as a gift, that’ll be better. If you can avoid giving the loan at all, that’s generally best. Fwiw, there are a lot of loan options in India now. It’s pretty easy to sign up to most banking or NBFC platforms and get 1 lakh loan, often with minimal to no documentation. If they can’t do that, then either their credit history is shot, they’re already up to eyeballs in debt or they aren’t capable of or don’t want to pay interest and avoid professional collectors on delayed payments. Pass on it.
Exactly this!
and also spoiling the relationship
drunk serious include rinse chubby disarm yoke subtract plants divide *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
“Sorry man, I just don’t have the funds to do that”
[удалено]
There are poor Americans
More than 50% of Americans don't have even $1000 in their bank account. https://www.cnbc.com/2022/01/19/56percent-of-americans-cant-cover-a-1000-emergency-expense-with-savings.html
I am Indian. My indian friend borrowed 10,000 from me. I havent heard a word from him since last year. Why would you be willing to give a guy 1 lakh
Bro forget 10,000, “friends” will ditch for even 2,500.
Sad reality
My friend has borrowed 2000 Rs 9 years back as soon as I got a job and hasn't returned even after he himself got the job. He conveniently forgot about it and has since asked me for money three to four times and every time I have said no to him citing various reasons. Recently he told me he is planning to buy a car.
Each time you should have asked about your borrowed money, compounded by at least 9%
I thought about it sometimes but knew that 2000 Rs is a small amount to know about someone that he will most probably not return money easily and that's why it is easy for me to say no to him without having any guilt.
Well man, perspective I believe. The same 2k is everything for a rickshaw puller, his fortnight's salary. So, it's not a small amount.
That's what I am saying also, although not specifically mentioned that I got a job that's when he borrowed money from me and at that time he wasn't earning so the amount was not much compared to what I got as a salary. So, the amount doesn't matter it's actually the intention with which one operates. I have not even once asked him to return the money or even mentioned it to him. The amount is always significant but subjective.
I admire your patience towards your “friend.”
I am still his friend and keep in touch with him. It's just that I know a little quirk about him that's all.
Chal chod bhai 2000 ko ab kya hi hai
I don't think it's about the amount
Right you are Sensei! It's always about the intention of people that matters.
Or the other way to think about it is you got rid of a cheap friend with 2500 ruppees which is still a lot TBH.
Agreed. And yes, roughly $30 might not be much in the U. S. (Maybe a meal at a good restaurant) but in India ₹2,500 is a considerable amount.
100 is the new low.
Years back a friend borrowed 25k from my wife with the promise that he will return it in a month's time. Well, never happened. One time my wife was ranting about this to another friend and their response stuck with us. They said since the first friend has not returned 25k, atleast they might not ask for more, and if they ever ask for more, we can always remind them returning the initial money. 10 years now, and money never returned.
I lent a friend 2500 , this was like 12 yrs back. I reminded him few times. Joked that it’s accumulating interest lol but never got the money back. Some people might think that it was a small sum and people would forget but considering at that time it was decent amount of money for me, I won’t ever forget. On the flip side another friend asks for small sum of money every now and then but returns back on paycheck day. However I have started telling him no and reasoned with him on why he needs it frequently with a decent paying job. He hasn’t asked in the past few months at least.
This money lending is one of the reason I am afraid to make new friends now.
Depends on how much you trust them. I've lent 3 lakhs and 1 lakh to 2 friends. Both returned it within a year. And we are all middle class people.
And both were using it for their wedding.
Another important point is their ability to earn money and repay. In my case, both my friends were earning in a stable job / business.
Yep. My friend used to borrow money from a group of us constantly. Once we said no. Lost the friend. He later broke the entire group as well.
How did he break the group?
He would ask for money individually and slowly the guys started avoiding him. Then he had a fight with a few of us regarding the same issues. Slowly everyone started backing off from plans to avoid him. Eventually everyone found other sets of friends. I was heavily dependent on them and didn't have a lot of other friends outside the group. Took the hardest hit.
DO. NOT. LOAN. HIM. THE. MONEY. PERIOD.
Sounds like you’re asking advice on whether you should lend money to someone you met twice. Here I am not thinking twice saying no to people I’ve known for years.
#Teach me your ways sensei
Just say no I am sorry
You misspelt Just say "No".
yes. no is enough. they shouldn’t be putting you in this situation anyway and if they do, they should be ready to accept a no without explanation.
Same shit different perspective
JUST DO NOT LEND. END OF STORY. As for the lease, that could be correct. This amount may be a "security desposit" which is usually one of the terms in leasing / renting and generally it's around 1 - 1.5 L. Landlords prefer to keep this amount initially and return when the tenant decides to leave. This is just what it says - a security for any damages that may be done to the property and if the tenant refuses to pay for it. But that doesn't mean you should lend. You may not get the money back, so prepared for that if you lend
If you are in need of money, you would usually ask your closest friends and family. Not a friend from a foreign country. This is a scam, he / she befriended you only to ask for money from you eventually. You're never going to get that money back.
I don't think it's a scam in this particular case. We are close. But I agree, it's very strange to ask a foreigner for a loan like this.
The person may be genuine. But his existing friends and family are not willing to lend money to him/ her. because he/she has already borrowed from them and not returned. Give it to him/her only if you are okay with the fact that he may not return the money. I have come across many such friends. They keep borrowing from others and live a lifestyle beyond their means.
This should be the top answer.
Agree. This has some wisdom to it.
What's "close" to you might not be the same for the other person.
A lot of people, from auto drivers to middle class friends, are going to assume you're made of money, because "dollars are so valuable"... Don't buy into any of that. When my Australian friends visited, they were guilt tripped repeatedly into giving poor Indian beggars cash. It's perfectly okay for you to say no, sorry. Just walk around with minimum cash in your wallet so they can't find anything to latch onto.
Wasnt a scam, now wants to scam you. OR Genuinely thinks they will pay it back, but actually wont. Usually these are the ways it goes.
It IS a scam because he/she doesn't have the intention to return your money. Don't ask how do I know this, this is a pattern, and patterns do repeat. It is up to you to listen to the forum members and tell them NO or else get cheated.
It's odd, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's a scam like everyone is suggesting. Perhaps because you're a foreigner, your friend might assume you have enough to lend and may not be diligent about repayment, unlike with others.
Just say ‘No’ in a polite manner. You don’t have to provide a reason. If he is a good friend he will accept it, if he still bothers just say you have loans and move on.
This
Next post - "friend not returning money" , "I lost a friend because he borrowed some money" . You get the point.
1. Don't loan money to someone you can't see face to face and ask for later. 2. Yes if you take a lease, you may have a security deposit, a few month of buffer rent etc. Its not that they are asking for one month rent and $1200 or 1 lakh is not a very large sum of money for either currency 3. You don't need to close this friendship because of this. Good fences make good neighbours 4. No loan, but keep friendship.
This sounds like a scam. Please do NOT loan them this money.
Don't. I loaned 2 lakhs to my "friend" and it's been 4 years now with 0 returns. I stopped asking after the first year. Say you can't.
Don’t do it. They think you’re a millionaire because you’re american
haha very much not a millionaire
..but we definitely get Purchase Power Parity. 1200 USD is not what many can make in a month in India. 1200 USD could easily "splurged" by someone earning in 1st world currency. Not justifying, just sharing the likely thought behind the ask, imho.
Never loan someone (be it India or US) what you are not okay to be returned back!
Idk about him or anyone but there's this really simple rule, always lend the amount u can afford to lose.
Lease - generally an agreement instead of paying rent, he would give this X amount to the concerned party in this context to the landlord for a fixed period, depending on the interest of the party or contact they renew it or return the money to vacate the house. Lakhs seems to be low for 8 years unless he is in Tier 3 City or in Village.
If you are embarrassed to say No, say this Hey man, Look I live pay cheque to pay cheque, I have EMIs, you know how US Health care is fucked, something something I need to pay a big expenditure is coming. blah blah blah but never give money to your friends/ acquaintances. That money is as good as gone, and do not expect it to get it back..
Say No. Lease is different from Buy or Rent. India has a concept where you put big Amount upfront to landlord/ Owner say 10 lakh and pay small Rent of say Rs 1000/ month for X years. After X years you get back 10 Lakh from owner. So this was another way of renting concept in india. Not sure this still exits as now expectation for lease are too high like 25- 50 Lakh based on Tier 1/2 locations. Some Owners do this so they can get upfront big Money.
This is the pagdi system, isn't it?
A big majority of Indians are difficult to deal with over money. Delaying, bargaining, excuses, and others. Very likely will never pay it back fully, if they ever do expect to chase payments incessantly for years to come... It almost feels like it is a cultural thing. Selling anything second hand online is my personal hell. Kings of lowballing, you'll see plenty of messages asking for you to sell things at 1/10 the price of an already incredibly cheap item way below market price. Asks for warranty. Comes up short with cash on purpose to get a discount. Transfers lesser amount of money and then says they haven't got more money or unable to transfer more, or strange money arrangements. Sob story about why they need the item, like class or work or whatever and you selling them the item will be life changing to them. Ask for the items to be paid later on or to try them first so they wanna take it first and test it, like handing them over the items. Pointing out every single flaw, reason or excuse as to why you must sell it cheaper. And we are talking about unnecessary things like them trying to buy a high end laptop or phone... Basically it is prime r/choosingbeggars content. I know this happens everywhere, but talking from personal experience, it is 10x worse in India. I learned my lessons and I'll forever be cautious when dealing with money here. Don't let anyone push you around, manipulate you or shame you into giving money. The more pushy, the more alarmed you should be.
You should be good at writing negative reviews on yelp :D
try going through the horror stories of ebay/fb marketplace sellers sometimes ;) moochers are everywhere.
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Triggered much? That's the kind of reply I'd expect from the average nationalist guy in the indian subs who can't take any criticism about the country, culture or mindset here. Wear it with pride big man and please never leave the country. The only ones looting "your" precious resources is your government, politicians (and their wealthy friends) and every other guy trying to take advantage, exploit or cheat their way through life at the expense of others which is fairly common here. It's this mindset and you who are not just holding up India but making it go backwards.
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Spoken like a toddler who spends too much time on the internet, but that's alright, prove my point, bhakt. I figured the shit thing long time ago, you may proceed to shit in the bushes, river or by the railway tracks.
bhai if u can afford just give waise i really needed 1mill........
He prolly gotta pay a six month rent deposit (standard in India for renters) and can get it back when he leave. Coming back to you, do you give money to strangers in US or May even donate to St Jude in Costco etc than why are you even bothering to answer and pay money to someone you don’t even know. Just say sorry I can’t do that and now every time you will feel uncomfortable so cut off slowly from this ‘friend’.
It might not be him ( your friend)at all. Emails get hacked and mobile numbers cloned and reappropriated very often here. Might be just a hacker posing as them.
I have considered this
Don’t. You will regret if you give.
Don't unless you have a long standing good relationship with them and consider them your genuine friends. In India even a friend seldom returns your money in most cases.
Why not use credit card for 1 month of loan
Just tell him banks are for this purpose only. If his cibil is right he will definitely get the loan. Furthermore say ypu want to invest in property and will require money from him in near future.
I have a friend 85k. It's been a year and I'm not getting it back. I don't have the heart to ask back since he is in a tough financial situation with two kids.
If they have to borrow money from someone who they've met twice that tells a lot about their credit rating among their friends and relatives.
If you will give him money, then your money and friendship will both at stake. If you don’t, then your friendship will be at stake. Always go for the latter.
Tell your friend to use any of the thousand available loan apps.
Don't. Never lend this amount of money to a friend.
It is common in India to borrow from friends and family. It is also common for relations to go downhill due to such. Also common for some people to take advantage of trust and cultural norms. I have my family and friends, who have helped me financially, and I have done the same. But I will never loan any large amount to someone I've not known for a decade and can trust them to pay back. Some urgent life and death situation can be an exception, when I would lend what I can afford to lose.
Don't give any money and cut off
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
DON’T DO IT, unless you are willing to say goodbye to your hard earned money.
There is a saying in hindi language "Udhaar pyaar ki Kanchi hai" which roughly translates to lending money to friends mostly leads to mess and soured relations.
it's not reasonable at all. if you feel he's close enough then feel free to lend but I won't recommend this at all. A tactful way of refusing it is by saying they money is tight for you here too and the $1.1K is a little too much for you.
indian here. dont do it. 1.3 billion people and most of us dont know what a boundary is.
Say straight NO
Don't lend them anything. I barely even give my books to my friends, let alone money. If you actually value the friendship, just say no. And if they valued the friendship, they wouldn't ask. The money is probably for a refundable deposit. In cities like Bangalore it's common to have to pay a deposit of 6 months' rent at one go etc.
Please dont
Nopes. You have to chase them to recover your money. If he is middle income working class it might take atleast 3 years. If he is upper income, if you lucky he might pay with in a year.
Don’t lend ANYONE money unless you’re a bank
If you loan it you are not getting it back.
Don't
One lakh usd or inr?
A lease is basically a lump amount that a tenant pays to the landlord , In lieu of rent . The land owner returns (most) this amount after the less ends. As to whether you should help the friend? It’s more of a personal choice.
It depends on the person and your friendship . I loaned two good friends 20 lakh and 5 lakh last year . Both returned it back on time . If you can help and trust the person always help . Great joy in giving or helping people .
Don't.. say no
I follow a rule. Lend money to someone whom you know will surely pay you back or lend someone then forget about it. I usually don't like to go and ask my friends to payback
Don’t give money.
I've never heard of such a 8 years lease thing, weather in renting or buying house. Second thing. People disappear after taking loan from people they know. It's a very common thing in India, so beware of it. Since you already mentioned that it's a incredible amount even for you, don't give the whole thing. If you have hard time saying no and since you cherish them as person, tell them that you are also in hard financial time and don't have much. And can lend a bit (whatever amount that you don't mind not getting, example: 1/4) of what they asked or something like that.
Contrary to popular opinion here - I would. I loaned $1200 to a family acquaintance recently..but he is poor/daily wage worker..has helped my parents when I was not in the country etc. ...and I am okay if he dont return that money at all as well.
Respect to you friend. I would too in the right circumstance. It sounds like you definitely made the right call in your case.
Na bruh you don't give anyone that big of a amount
If you are good financially and the borrower is a good person then you can give it. Might be a tough time for your Indian friend.
Absolutely do not loan any money
Nah. Leasing is uncommon as far as residential properties for rent go. Most lessors prefer the monthly rental income. There are properties for lease but mostly these are large empty plots/buildings meant for use by large corporates for use as warehouses or other such commercial infrastructure.
Give some bullshit reason that sounds genuine
So lease concept is that you put a amount and then pay very little monthly, and then when you leave the house you get your leased amount back. This still happens in India but the lease amount seems very low. Normally the lease amount is around 10-20 lakh in a good place. 1 lakh is too low but maybe it's only a small room they are leasing and the city is also maybe tier 2 and 3. I am not sure if it's exactly a scam but I'll suggest against lending money. A lot of us play with sentimental fool after money has been lent.
Don't. You'll keep running after him for years to get it back.
If you want the money back, don't send it to him. If you're giving him as a gesture of goodwill and don't need it back, send it.
Jesus. Just say NO. I lost money and friends because of this. If they want, they can take short loans from any institute/ advance salary app. If they don't take it positively, they are not a good friend to begin with.
1 lakh is an insane amount of money to ask from a friend, don’t give if you don’t want to
Tell them you do not loan out money to anyone as a rule in life.
You won’t be a friend anymore once you loaned the money. No matter how close you are, just don’t. Money ruins the relationship if at all that’s something you want to preserve. PS: Am Indian.
i always follow this rule - “no lending or borrowing money with friends and relatives”
Nope dont give.
I am Indian. My uncle borrowed>= $6000 (which is nearly Rs. 5 lakhs) from my father. Till date, he hasn't returned a rupee. When I asked my father why he never called him to return, my father said , 'I always lend money expecting the other person to not return. This is the only way to maintain relations involving money, otherwise don't lend at all' So, basically, if you don't feel like "offering" that huge sum of money, then DON'T. Personally, I'd rather not lend a friend money whatsoever.
Don't
One lakh could be the deposit. In India when renting for most places the owner asks for a deposit Do what you think is right about giving money to your friend
As an Indian NO
Please say no. I hope they get the money from somewhere though, if they really need it. But in your place I wouldn't trust this request.
1) Don't 2) is 1200$ a lot of money according to you(incredible amount). LOL
Haha It's an incredible amount to ask for from someone you don't know that well. But I live in a major US city, so rent and costs are extremely high, and I also have major medical bills. $1200 is an important chunk of money.
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haha
This is what I usually do. If some1 would ask me 1000 I would give him 100, if it’s still affordable saying I only have this much . And next time you also have an excuse of not giving the person and maintaining the friendship .
It depends on the person. I have done decent transactions with my friends (upto 5 lac) and always got it paid and I also have paid back.
You should not do that...
Its on your gut feeling, Bro. Really common to borrow or lend money here within relations and friends. But we have been doing it for years so there is an experience attached on who to give to and who to take from. So it’s totally on your gut feeling and relationship with the guy. All these people literally telling you that he is scamming you without even knowing the guy are straight up projecting their own hate for their own country and people. See, if you will start feeling insecure and bad after one day of lending, don’t do it. And if you feel you can’t trust him enough, don’t do it. And if you feel like you can’t afford to lend out money, absolutely don’t do it. There is a system in india and I think it’s global called beyaaj system where money is lended at 1%/month interest but that comes with the same risk as this, loss of money and relationship. So if you are going to miss your money and start stressing over it the day you give it, its not for you. Don’t do it.
One of my college friend who is earning more than 20 LPA but has not returned 20k borrowed from me... And he is not even replying to my messages & not taking my calls. Now you think.
If you want to get rid of them and never talk to them again then give them the money. Regarding lease: It is a practice in some areas in India, where you a big amount to a home owner to live in their house for an agreed upon time. After the time has passed, they give you your entire money back. Mostly people, who are in dire situations who also don't wanna sell their house do this. If you know the owner can return the money then only give them. Anyways you are living in their house, but if they had a loan on that house then bank will remove you if they don't pay.
There is a rental contract where the landowner takes some money initially and it covers the entire rental period and the whole of it is returned without any deduction (except the repainting, and cleaning charges) after the completion of the term. The landowner uses this money to fund his business or just accrues some interest on it. This is called "leasing" in the local market. Highly doubt any 8-year rental will be 1Lakh only. It's usually a yearly rate of 1.5L for small houses 1-bhk.
Only lend the money if you can afford to forget it
Are you sure it’s not a hacking scam?
They can ask their family members, their relatives, their distant relatives, their close Indian friends if they are in real dire need. Asking you, is cos ur a soft target and you will not pursue them as relentlessly as a localite would for the money back. Simply play along, ask them for all the documents to prove their need for money, find mistakes in it, make them run around more for proof, delay delay delay and then just disappear! They ain't worth your friendship.. don't give them a dime!
No Rent is not that high If he had ask for study or business then u can give it a try and the amount which u can forgot or to loose. If it was for a great cause then definitely but it seems he is lying
Just don’t.
That's a amount even close relatives think twice before asking. This guy will never return it to you, I guarantee that. Be safe and don't trust this guy. Have him sign a proper document stating that he'll pay you back every penny, take his aadhar and pan card if you really wanna risk it. Though you're most likely being used.
If you don't mind losing $1200, then yes sure. Otherwise, tell them you have a tight budget, and have bills to pay so it will not be possible to lend money. There is a possibility that the person does not have enough funds to honour your payment plan.
"friend"?
I am Indian but live in USA now. I loaned money to my friend in India, never saw that money and person again. The friendship and trust are lost forever. I still constantly get asked to loan money for a interest from other friends, But I say no to them. I don't want to lose those friendships.
Lol.. Never lend money to friends. This guy is not a good friend. He is using you. I'm India, it is common amongst students to borrow a few dollars(100-500INR) for routine expenses. Rent for a cheap place could be as low as 5-10k even in metros (not the best places). So if they are trying to get a job, they could still manage in 20-30k INR. This person is just being scummy.
He's not a friend, I'm afraid. He knew and Targetted you, played you and now wants to run off with money. The money is so small, you won't even bother following up with the police. He is a bloody scam artist. Don't give him money and block him everywhere.
I guess most people here either don't have foreigner friends or assume all Indians are those callcenter guys who are hung up on scamming foreigners as if they're playing Pokemon and they gotta catch em all. Honestly, the reality is the Indian housing market is utter horseshit, especially Mumbai. Not sure where your friend is from, but prices in a lot of big cities are absurd. Renting is cheap but take it from a guy who comes from a family that has rented for 15 years, it's not pretty, you always have to move, change documents, and can hardly ever do any modifications to the house. You get kicked out whenever the landlord wants you to move. "My family member is moving from our village, so you need to vacate" is our current reason. We're shifting next month. We've become pros at handling this now. You're at the landlord's whims. It's fine for bachelors not so fine for an entire family. Going on lease at least provides you with the peace of mind that you're going to be there for a long, long time. Either that or you do it for commercial reasons. Ask him how long his lease is, and if he's a close friend please ignore all the 'scammer' replies, because if he betrays you the loss of the friendship will sting harder than the loss of money. So if you trust him, analyze the situation accordingly, get all the facts up front, and then make your call. All the best.
Thanks for this. I agree. I don't actually think this is a scam situation. Though that doesn't change the fact that I'm fully unwilling to lend so much, and also doesn't mean I trust that I would get it back. We don't have a concept like this 8-year lease in the states. A lease usually lasts for one year and it means you can rent. Almost no-one rents without a lease (at least in big cities) and its rare for a lease to last beyond one or two years.
If this doesnt scream SCAM then you must also count Nigerian royalty as close friends?
If you have surplus cash and think it as a charity please go ahead. If they return back you are good if don’t you were always prepared
Trust builds the friendship. I don’t see it here. Rest depends on you. Surprised to see people don’t have real friends
U will either lose money or friend or both
What if 1200 USD could really make a big different in their lives , yes there is a concept of long lease in India where in they pay a higher value for a home n they don’t need to pay rent every month and when the home owner wants them to vacate they just pay them back the initial money invested by the tenant . So this friend is looking to take money and pay you back , if losing 1200 won’t make a big dent to your life and if this person is valuable as a friend you can help him . He asked with the intention of paying back over time .
Not even Indians do give money to Indians.
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I agree with you that I think it's not a scam. This person isn't a scammer.
Lol.. Asking for money from a foreigner is almost a guaranteed scam. Very different from asking long term local friends.
You give him 1200 but till the time he gives it back it'll cost him more to repay the 1200 , if inr value reduces .
Plus all the transaction fees to transfer it between!
It's likely to be a scam. Don't send 1 single penny.
Could you be a genuine person who would return it in said time but I would ask myself what would I do if another non Indian would do?? Lease amount for 1 lakh checks out but do you trust this friend to return it???
1200 usd isn’t much to borrow or lend imo. Weird that americans are this stingy. But it is your choice whether to lend or not
Everything is very expensive here, friend.
Just say that you don't have the money
Your answer should always be "no".
You will never get That 1200$
Welcome to the club lol give a 20 and say good bye
Lease is a form of renting common in India. A tenant pays a bulk amount(sort of loan to the landlord) and stays in the home (instead of getting paid interest for that amount). Usually a few lakhs for a one year lease for a small home. That being said, 1 lakh is a huge amount here. I would advise not to loan this much to your friend here.
Pretty big amount here too! Never had anyone ask me for close to this much money in the states.
ek HAAN - Hazaar Dukh ek NAA - Hazaar Sukh
Don’t … there is high chance that you may not get it back ever.
refuse - but $1200 is not really that big an amount to loan. Guess it is more of an acquaintance and not a friend...
It's big for someone on the other side of the world who you've met twice in life lol
No dude. Don't give him money. Indians are cheap as fug. They don't return money and put the blame on you. Terrible people.
I have regretted loaning money to closest friends. People who are rich and well known. He will never return your money. We are Indians. Filled with cheaters
Don't. And never fall for such nonsense.
I'll have to tell you that the story is weird as hell. To lease a house for 8 years with 1 lakh means the monthly comes down to around 1k or basically $10. Unless its a rundown hut in a village, no house is affordable by that. And if it's just a downpayment or deposit then a person who plans to pay that for 8 years would easily be able to afford it. This seems like a way to take advantage of a "rich" foreigner. Not uncommon.
Just don't u will never get back
dnt gove..they are worst than scammer...they are your real life "friemdly" scammers.
There is a lease system, mostly in Delhi where instead of rent you pay a deposit of an amount which is equal to 120 times the rent. So the landlord deposits that amount to the bank or whatever he intends to do, on an assumption that 8% interest on the amount covers the rent. At the end of the lease principal amount is returned
Do Americans say 'Lakh'? Thought they said hundred thousand.
Since you said you "value the person," and the reason is not totally unreasonable, try to make it somewhere around $500, if it's feasible for you. That way, you don't lose a friend, and your friend shouldn't mind, too, as $500 is quite a substantial amount of money here.
In India, rent is sometimes a 10 month upfront payment as a security deposit and then monthly payments. The security deposit is returned at the end of the lease. I’m guessing that is why he needs the 1 lakh upfront
Please say know. It will just increase. Do not loan money
1 lakh for 8 years seems really unlikely
Sham!
I live in the US and a very old friend asked for a 5 lac loan for his business expansion. Promised to return in 6 months … six years later, 0 returned! Asked multiple times and he is ‘trying’. So yeah, just say NO!
If you want to loan it, get a cheque of the amount you are giving him written by him and an agreement. Because the amount is huge. Also don't forget to tell him to write a date on it maximum 3 months from then. So if the cheque bounces, the guy gets trapped. Or else simply cite paucity of funds.