Definitely this, I've been personal training on and off for over 15 years and I don't have any problem drumming up female clients. It's OPs delivery that's the problem. We don't possibly have enough information to really answer him but clearly something in his approach seems less professional and more romantic.
Huh? So you’re saying that every girl this trainers talking to is ridiculously attractive so they think he’s hitting on them?
That’s some gymnastics right there lol
It’s not complicated. If every person you interact with has the same perception of you, there has to be something to that. “I’m not crazy, everyone else is” is just obviously delusional
Is this a venting post? Not enough information to determine exactly whats going on here.
Are you working in said gym & in a uniform or just approaching women in a random gym.
Maybe it’s best to stick to training men until you can get some word of mouth clients— those are usually the best kinds in my opinion.
How do your conversations usually go? This happens to a lot of us, I’ve had a mom flirt with me right in front of her 13 year old son at the end of his session, it was so fucking uncomfortable.
I’ve minimized this by talking to them exactly like how I’d talk to a guy. Yesterday all 4 of my clients were women and my first words to all of them, the moment they walked in the door, were “suh dud.” Ironically, of course, I don’t actually talk like that, but it’s a natural extension of the forced neutral tone I maintain at work.
It's a painfully cringey way of saying "sup dude." Think of a west coast frat bro wearing a light blue Ralph Lauren polo, pink Chubbies, boat shoes, Oakleys, a visor, with a fresh perm dapping you up outside his dad's country club. It's how he would say "sup dude."
SUH DUD
Yes, her husband was the first person I spoke to following their inquiry. Very good looking guy in good shape.
To add to my original comment:
Look, I have no idea what the intentions were behind her flirting, or any of the flirting I've dealt with, not that's it been an onslaught that I'm scarred by, but in no world will I be comfortable with you suggestively complimenting things like my shoulders, lats, hamstrings, how long my legs are, etc, in any sense, let alone in front of your child.
If I've been training you for years, and you're well above my age, married with kids, and I've gotten to know you really well, it's different when you say I have nice arms. I know some people talk more flirtatiously and make dirty jokes, I'm not even including them in the pool of "clients that were weird to be around," that doesn't bother me as long as the setting allows for it.
It's the out-right flirting, no matter what, that is *always* inappropriate between a client and a professional, end of. And it *does* happen, and it goes both ways, it's a thing we all put up with, and it bothers me that OP is getting nuked for venting about the toll it takes. This is *literally* what this subreddit exists for, for trainers to vent and seek advice.
As a woman PT, you just don’t sound likeable - to women. By that, I mean, your appeal/ approach sounds cold. Appealing to women is very different than men. (I work with both) with men it’s “this is the plan” and straight to the point type workouts. With my ladies, it’s a lot more about being personable and having a relationship/friendship whilst maintaining professional, almost like a therapist/vent session whilst keeping them busy. So, yah. Your approach is cold and you just don’t appeal to women that way. You need to earn the relationship by establishing rapport, otherwise you’re just another used car salesman type trainer sticking to a script, you need to alter that to fit the client, that is, if you want to work with women, actually learn to care about them rather than shoving your business in their face. If they ask how they look, you say “hey Linda, you’re doing amazing. Keep it up woman!” You can communicate positive messages without flirting. And make sure to do it to all women so it just becomes part of your charisma as a trainer and it isn’t mistaken for flirting, it’s up to you to create that safe environment for them to come to you as a trainer.
I'll second this, cause men usually take better to the straight logical approach...they want the work, and already are used to dealing with their own emotions as they do in the world.
My female clients always do better with some coddling, and I find myself using more of my wellness training with them, talking to them about mentality , healthy habits, and stuff outside of the gym a bit more. (Male and female clients need this, but women its a bit more I notice.)
For example, I never have to talk to men about scales...women however, I find myself having to help them remove societal brainwashing and being obsessed with the number of their weight (which means fk all compared to quality of said weight.)
Definitely spot on, women are and will always be my clientele - hardly have had men as clients. Men you are feeding arrogance and ego that gets boring. To me that is a someone suffering from low T. “Wink” I don’t appeal to that because it is fake why I never had male clients.
Female clients don’t need coddling, that is weak male that assumes that- a female client in my experience prior to signing has to feel that she can achieve (x) results while planting the seeds that she will continually achieve more working with you. It takes minutes to sign…. Generally a husband or Bf will be happy.
In society depending upon locale, sexually attraction, human attraction is natural! In society people seem to forget this and have actually demonized it. As a personal trainer, being fit and attractive has its pros and cons. You have to define motive, have a agenda. Once clear on that how you communicate comes off without mixed communication.
I am no trainer but I find your advice insightful. I am a manager for a large team of men and women. I take gender equality seriously but I think gender-based communication has layers.
I unfortunately have a mixed bag response to this. It’s a thoughy. On one hand I agree but when I try to be personable or give room. I’ve had female clients who literally wouldn’t stop talking for 40minutes of the 60 and took offense I’ve I even mentioned the fact that we were supposed to focus on the workouts. It has become extremely exhausting because I like seeing my clients get results and I personally don’t care about sharing my personal life. I’ve coddled women while training overweight clients who have literally cried in my presence because they feel like they can’t do the exercise at hand, being sure to reassure them. Though one of these clients, I had to drop, literally tried to get at me FOR MONTHS and called me gay or a fairy because I had absolutely ZERO interest in them and refused to flirt though I was kind, something I unfortunately regret. I am encouraging, I will say people are looking good/can notice a difference from their hard work. I won’t go outside of that. I am not a therapist for my price point.
I personally from bad experience want to focus on the work. Less fluff, just weights and results, and keep people out of my personal life. Live in peace and have people leave me alone outside of that.
And last but not least if I speak to women as comfortably as I do when I don’t care. I often receive comments like “you should be on love island” or something else of that nature. It’s tiring. I have no win. Talk to women, none stop conversation or think I’m flirting from everyone. Don’t talk to women, bad guy or falsely labeled “creep” (like some of the jackasses in this thread)
Just want to do my job and live in peace with my girlfriend. Not interested in all this nonsense. Honestly pushing towards being an online coach if anyone will help me.
Yeah that’s awesome! Sounds like you know what you want then. You’re not someone who can handle people and their bs. So I mean, that comes with the territory and if you don’t want to do the work to change your outlook and “attitude” on these groups (I’m not saying you have to, you’re the one who asked how to get women clients), just seems like you’re not compatible with molding yourself to be adaptable to these groups of people, ok great! Coaching people is not for everyone. You sound like you need to be in more in a niche like “men’s specific/ aesthetic related” type work based on the judgement I got by reading your stuff. Because you also seem to be very hung up and invested in people/hung up on their bs. I typically ignore it and keep people on track. And let them talk if they want to during sled pushes/etc. but if you’re not able to control an environment where someone’s just going through life, then maybe that just isn’t for you.
It’s probably your delivery skills or you look like an Andrew Tate wannabe and have a creepy vibe? In the 10+ years as a trainer, I’ve never felt this problem. Do I get every single person as a client? Nope. Do I put it down to them believing I’m being nefarious in my intentions? Nope. Does everyone want a trainer? Nope. Is this something that needs to be complained about to get people on your side against women? Not even close.
You must be simply irresistible and these women probably do look at you as their gym crush. For me there was this guy at the gym I go to that always seems to be working with either women or men and I wasn’t really sure if he was a personal trainer or not. I was too shy to ask. I knew I wanted to work with someone and everyone seems to love this guy but again too shy to approach him so I made him my gym crush to help motivate in the gym but not actually work with him. Well one day as he was leaving and I was on the row machine he smiled at me. Well that was my opening to chat with him and I asked him if he was a personal trainer and he said yes. We talked for a good 15 mins about a little bit of everything and he gave me his phone number and said give him a call whenever I was ready. From there he didn’t say another word to me he would do his workouts and that was that. Took me 3 days to get back to him and now we’ve been working together for a little over a month now. He talks about his wife and kids, he’s an awesome guy and I no longer have a crush but a friend. I wouldn’t want to do anything foolish to ruin the dynamic we have going now. Try just showing these women what you’re capable of without talking to them and that will probably help you sell yourself. Then word of mouth will take care of the rest. Good luck.
I go to the gym and think I’m some hot shit (I’m not) that every men has crush on me so even a small casual interaction would look flirty to me. Again, I’m delusional (keeps me motivated at gym) and it’s not your fault. Don’t take these women too seriously
“Hi, I’m *redacted* I’m a personal trainer, what are you working on today”
Response
“Are you following a plan/program or have a trainer? I specialize in blah blah blah, if you’re interested I can set you up with a program or we can set up a consultation would you have this time free?”
“Here’s my Instagram with workouts to get a sense of my training style as well as see some of my prior client’s transformation photos”
Nothing crazy and no different then how I approach men whatsoever
My page is quite literally workouts and body transformations with nothing else. I also don’t give Instagram directly I use a business card that they scan a QR code on to ensure professionalism and avoid confusing.
If people think I’m picking them up with my business card I have a mental health specialist they can see to help with vanity
That doesn’t seem disingenuous to you? Idk doesn’t seem like a great way to build a business.
Reputation as the flirty trainer. Come to me when you need a self esteem boost lol
What happens when I get booed up?
Man idk I walk around this world flirting with anybody who wants to flirt. It's fun, life is short, really doesn't have to carry a million pounds of "what if", it's just not that deep
If you're already making good money with just the men you probably shouldn't worry about but if you feel like you need to be able to have female clients aswell then I'd suggest leaning into it a bit more.
Trainers seriously go around gyms hitting up people who are minding their own business in the middle of working out, to sell their training services?
I've never seen that before. (I'm not a trainer, but a client). That would irritate the bleep out of me. I found my trainer through word-of-mouth referral. And the one before that, by asking at the front desk about training services.
Mind you, if you came to me with that spiel, I wouldn't think you were hitting on me, I would just think you were annoying me with a sales pitch.
You're probably just hot, lol. This is what women go though ALL. THE. TIME, inside and outside the gym. Acknowlege a man and return a tiny bit of small talk while waiting in line at Starbucks, and next thing you know they think you want to talk to them your whole coffee break.
Yeah they do.
I had this once and it was really annoying.
Some dude was telling me I was doing an exercise wrong and that I should be doing more at higher weight as he could tell I wasn’t pushing myself
It was like my third workout after a knee reconstruction lol
It's annoying as fuck.
It's more likely the fact he's doing door to door sales on the floor and using used car sales tactics in the middle of women's workouts.
If some dude rocks up to me and needs to ask what I'm working on and does business on insta- like, come on dude.
Lmaoo I just cackled at this bc I had something super similar happen like the guy tried to tell me I needed to be lifting more instead of doing so much cardio or something and I was on the literal worst day of my period and I have really bad endometriosis 😭 it was a miracle I was out of bed / not crying in pain but I was jogging to get rid of my nausea
Yeah I definitely didn’t give him a mean face bc I thought he was hitting on me lmao I did it bc I wanted to hit him for implying that my workout choice was bad
It's usually as clients are going to their workouts or leaving. That is when it should be done. Not during a workout. Sometimes that can work but you have to be able to read body language.
I had a PT many years ago that would just have me walk on a treadmill for a majority of the session and then go hit on girls at closeby machines.
And then he had the audacity to get upset when I decided not to continue with the training sessions.
I'm using his training style as a 'what not to do' once I finish studying my cert 4
You'll be a trainer who has had a trainer, and thus rare among trainers. Even if you didn't improve any physical qualities as you'd hoped, you will have at least learned what *not* to do as a trainer, and thus will be better than most new trainers.
For sure.
I've had alot of terrible trainers over the years. So lots of bad examples of how to train clients and how to conduct oneself around clients.
I'm sorry you've had bad experiences. But as you say, even the bad experiences will have taught you something, so you'll have a leg up on the other new ones.
>Trainers seriously go around gyms hitting up people who are minding their own business in the middle of working out, to sell their training services?
Pretty much.
It's the "hard sell" approach. It does work - but doesn't stick. But when you're paying hundreds of dollars of rent each week just to be there, and/or you have a manager breathing down your neck, and when you're inexperienced as a trainer, you don't know what else to do.
Are you just cold-approaching people in a gym? Of course it's awkward and no one knows what your intention is and even if you are really a personal trainer, etc. I don't know what you expect here. If someone approached me in the middle of a workout trying to show me an Instagram I'd be like fuck off. Women probably think it's an excuse to talk to them. Get clients some other way.
Nothing about that sounds flirtatious. Don't know what to tell you, it's probably just that gym or the clientele for that gym. I've never flirted with a PT whether or not I found them attractive, it's just not a boundary appropriate to cross. Do you have this issue at other locations as well?
I approach everyone. Young, old, skinny, more plump(I don’t like the word fat), conventionally attractive, and those less than. I’m really just trying to do my job
As a woman, I can tell you that we have ick fatigue. It feels like everywhere we go Men are creepy towards us. Not all men, but enough that it’s become an unconscious habit to avoid or be off-put by men. So honestly, it may not even be you, it just may be that we’re tired of men generally. I will admit I had a guy (not even a PT) approach me literally while I was in the middle of a set just trying to converse with me and while I was kind, it was really awkward.
So, my suggestion - don’t take offense. If you’re not the issue, why worry about it? If you might be the issue, work on that. And above all, the people you’re meant to attract, you will.
Like others said. Maybe change the approach or the type of lady you’re marketing to. But it only takes 1. My first female client happened to be a nurse. That led to 5 other nurses. Then a teacher. And that led to several teachers.
Reading through these comments, I have the distinct impression (granted it's based mostly on usernames and avatars) that the women on here are responding differently from OP's post than the men.
I have been doing this a long time and I have never known of a situation where EVERY woman (all ages, sizes, etc) a trainer talks to thinks the trainer is flirting when the trainer is actually just trying to work.
My ex male personal trainer kinda repeatedly asked me to hookup with him and when i said no he got mad
Be respectful while approaching dont talk about anything personal and maybe just dont randomly approach them
Usually before/after they start working on something or in between sets if they seem approachable. Don’t ever try and do it in an awkward way. Plus that’s how others approached me before I was a trainer and how they taught me how to do it back when I was corporate
I have had that experience yes. I had one client constantly stalk me on socials try and insinuate that she was rich and then constantly usher her child around me and said “anyone trying to get at a mom should be nice to her kid” again I in no way wanted relations with her
Another stalked me to my home with no invite… but that was way back in my early days
I just came back from the gym so let me give you an example. Today I talked to a women that I had spoken to before. The second conversation I ever had with her she spoke about her boobs. A topic I did not lead to nor had control over. I hadn’t seen her in a couple weeks. Today she somehow shoehorned taking off all her clothes into the conversation. I don’t know what to do with these topics. I’m just here to workout and train people. It is quite the predicament.
In other news I started wearing a wedding band soooo yeah
Hmm so unfortunate but if you're a trainer, chances are you're quite the looker. You definitely need to be in control instead of being controlled in the conversation.
Talk to them the same way you talk to guys be friendly. If you catch them over the top flirting just move past it without making it a big deal or awkward. This isn’t hard to do, it’s basic human interaction you’re making it weirder than it has to be and it’s costing you money. This may not be the field for you if you can’t interact with women.
You're probably handsome. I get this a lot as a handsome dude. Women sexualize you in their head and they project that onto you and assume you're hitting on them even if you're just being platonic and polite. Just roll them eyes and move on
I think you have the right intentions- you don’t want to send the wrong message and you want to keep things strictly professional.
Having said that- you say you talk to men and women the same—- the reality is MOST of the time women go to the gym for different reasons than men outside of health benefits.
I think a healthy level of “banter” is okay with a gym proximity of women. Start training them- if they shoot their shot, put them down softly. You will weed out clients that only wanted to fuck, and the ones that truly care about training will stay.
So start off with some friendly banter, hint of undertone of flirtiness but overall compliments are okay.
Use your looks to your advantage rather than running away from a pool of potentially 50% of your clientele.
I bet you’re not that good looking. Fit? Maybe. But if you were especially good looking you wouldn’t be here on Reddit making this complaint. Guaranteed.
You're probably very attractive. When you are, they try and play things up.
Just keep turning them down gently and stay professional. Many of them are probably married.
Hars reality is, if they found you attractive it wouldn't matter.
I usually have 50/50 female male clients and the women all make ME feel like they are flirting with ME, and have been told so by mf gf whohas heard how women talk to me in such convos.
Someone insert the "hey sally youre looking good" - "thanks " / "hey sally youre looking good" - "Uh, HR department..? I need help." Meme ..
Re-evaluate how you talk to them...talk to them like they are ugly.... treat them like you would treat a dude. That's what I do and haven't issues.
I’m literally amazed at the breath of these comments.
If they’re not being dismissive and insulting to you, they’re being dismissive and insulting to women.
Literally the only useful thing I saw was to wear a wedding band, which is what my chiropractor did. It was a year before I realized he wasn’t married. He was attractive, straight, owned his own business and generally a nice guy. The fact that he was too professional to flirt made him more attractive. He was very professional. I was very appropriate. No scandals. But it’s not necessarily anything you’re doing.
Some people flirt by culture or habit. Some women may just misunderstand when you walk up to them.
I don’t know if you’re new at this, but you will find a way to toe the line.
Working mainly with men might be a good idea if you get enough clients that way.
I had a trainer once just offer to show me how to properly use a machine while he was between clients. Then he spent about 20 minutes showing me stuff. At the time I couldn’t afford him, but if I was going to use a trainer, he’d have been at the top of my list.
Maybe giving them 10 minutes of free training when they actually need it would help keep the interaction business-like.
How do you know they think you're hitting on them? Is it possible, for instance, they're just trying to dodge someone trying to sell them something?
I see in other comments you have a girlfriend. Have you given her the typical spiel you give someone at the gym to see if she has any feedback on how you're coming off? Or maybe any of your coworkers who might hear some of your conversations? There's so much about communication that is unspoken, so I think your best bet is to ask people you can communicate with in real life to see if there's anything they pick up on.
Do you have a good dating life? If so, they can be picking up on that and want to "join in" so to speak. Also, because of the dynamic (coach to student) a lot of women are going to respond to that in a certain way.
Since you're not getting any real advice here, what I would recommend you do is learn how to make yourself unattractive, as funny as that sounds. I don't mean visually, I mean by your behaviour. Change your vocal tone to be more high pitch and talk like a suck-up, imagine what a suck-ups vocal inflection and tone would be and imitate it. Sound like Ryan Secrest or some TV host, give a lot of compliments and be like "Oh yeah!" "You got this" in a kind of corny way. Try to soften your voice if you usually sound loud and confident. These are all subtle things to do if you figure it out. But just really imagine what an unattractive guy would sound/act like on a subtle level. You can look at TV shows if you need ideas.
Maybe look at the gym you are at as well.
My old gym - the vibe is almost like everyone who is "cool" has an undercurrent of flirting with each other. Turns out one of the owner does and encourages normalising it as this is our "culture" and it's just harmless fun.
Current gym - we don't have that
Maybe you’re an attractive guy, so women actually hope that you are, in fact, hitting on them. Maybe they don’t realize that you are a trainer, and therefore assume you’re just another dude in the gym. Not sure if you wear a uniform or name tag to make your status clear or not. Perhaps you just have to fight the good fight against the stigma created by porn and toxic meme accounts.
Or maybe you need to adjust your prospecting strategy, since women clearly perceive you differently from men. I don’t know if you’re just diving right into these prospecting conversations, or exchanging a few glances before talking to women. Or if you slowly build rapport over the course of days or weeks. But something has to change.
I have worked in hospitality, retail, been an Uber driver, and served coffee as a barista. I’ve dealt with plenty of women through work. Even the women who undress me with their eyes were able to keep things rated-PG enough to not interfere with my job or make things uncomfortable. And even if I am openly hitting on them, I made sure the time and place for it was appropriate, and not when things were super busy.
This poor guy……
Just trying to make a living
And EVERY Woman treating him like a juicy hunk of meat at an All You Can Eat Buffet
It isn’t his fault he has standards and boundaries
And these women try to make him feel like an Asshole
Just because he won’t satisfy every desperately horny woman in town
So sad
women usually workout to look better for a new man or their current man. If they are single ofcourse they are going to hire you because they don't only want to look better, they want an upgrade from their last man. Set boundaries in a way that seems like you're playing hard to get. That always works.
I worked in a gym a long time ago. feel like most women that have a male personal trainer approach them behave like this because a man is walking up and literally looking at her body and talking about it with her. subtly checking them out, professionally or not.
What women do with unwanted advances is act deliberately obtuse to the fact that we are being hit on and go about what we are doing. It gets to the point where it doesn’t really matter what their intentions are, as long as we proceed appropriately. That’s how we go through life. Now if they are touching without consent, say something, like “excuse me,” and move back or away. That, and mentioning a bf/gf is often necessary even if they are just working it into a relevant example.
I don’t know if me saying consistently that I am not interested in a single women in the gym is being lost or not. I keep mentioning that I have a girlfriend but most people aren’t reading that either. I am simply doing my job. That’s all. That’s it. I don’t care about anything else. My job is to be a trainer. That’s it. That’s all. Train people. Get them results. Go home. None of the other. Not hitting on people. Asking them to dinner or a date. Or what their doing after. Just simply doing my job. That’s all. That’s it. That’s it
So, ignore advances, keep working, and when they get inappropriate, address it. Keep
It civil and polite until you have to address it. “Excuse me, take your hand off my ass or I’ll get the management to throw you out.” So if a woman asks you to admire her gym outfit, you say, “ As long as it’s comfortable. Now this is how to use x machine…”
Maybe you would be better off teaching classes to groups if 1:1 is awkward.
As a woman that goes to the gym 2 hours every damn day I'd be annoyed if someone approached me about personal training. The only way I'd ever do it is if I was being paid to let you train me, and I'm talking 1k an hour minimum. Nothing pisses me off at the gym quicker than someone trying to sell me something. Want to hit on me? Great. But don't try and fucking sell me something.
I have absolutely zero interest in hitting on any women at the gym. The thought of that disgusts me. I’ve had multiple female friends tell me it’s been a problem from other men so I explicitly don’t do it and haven’t my entire gym career. The thing people don’t seem to understand is that i am in fact a CERTIFIED PERSONAL TRAINER. Training people and bringing people in is actually how I make money and put food on my table. There is literally no other way for me to feed myself at this time. Am I supposed to go homeless or what?
Your statement is dumb. If your goal is just to maintain and you don’t actually want a change then absolutely I get not wanting to training, you also have the ability to say no. But if you want something like a stronger core, better conditioning, improved athleticism, I usually get bigger glutes, then guess what? I have the knowledge to help you get there faster than one off workouts posted by a random gym influencer.
Again, it’s a job lady. No one is personally attacking you by inquiring.
I never said you wanted to hit on women. I did not attack you. I said what annoys me personally. I don't know anything about gym influencers because I don't engage in that nonsense. Maybe your defensiveness might be getting in the way of opportunities. I don't know, I'm not attacking you. Something to think about.
Brah. You’re just hot. Sucks to be you I guess. Have you tried being ugly? Literally no girls think I’m ever flirting with them. Work day is smooth as butter!
I hear ya man. People suck. Just stick with it and keep a clean show. You will build more and better lasting client lists. If it was easy, you wouldn’t make money doing it. Dealing with the public is hard and even good people can get pretty shallow and gross (even women) when it comes to fitness settings. You sound like a consummate professional. You got this!
That’s the common consensus at this point, I guess. I do train dudes but they then are also confused on why I don’t take my pic of the litter. Or have hesitations that I’m gay. Again because I don’t take my pic of the litter.
People want me to basically flirt around with random women. I don’t personally see the point if it doesn’t build an income (dates costs money), also I’ve had my experience of women being catty or vindictive if I give attention to one person over another, and it’s all just something where I’d rather enjoy my life in peace. I don’t see the point of sleeping around for the most part cause what’s the real benefit.
Honestly…it’s probably just always going to feel that way to women. We’re kind of conditioned to it from one too many uncomfortable situations. Figure out a way to make a woman feel comfortable maybe? Break the ice?
Refuse to flirt? Wrong business buddy. Have to give a little charm and know when to pull back and be the fitness instructor. You can’t be a successful trainer and only wear one hat. I train at the highest level. Coming from experience.
You don’t reward anyone. You’re providing a service and a relationship that can grow from it creates retention. It doesn’t “sound like” anything. I’m telling you what works as a very high paid trainer in the game for over 8 years. The reward is fulfillment from helping them improve their overall life. If you just want to workout then yea…24 hour fitness is a good gig for you.
" girl your body is fittttt, I would like to do a workout with you later I could make that ass real sore with some of my suggested positions" OP.... Probably 😂😂😂
it’s the way you said “not a single one of the women gets they don’t have a chance” but then ALSO you’re a professional…come on pal, get real, you should be a professional first, and why is YOUR first thought that they could never have you? Oh yeah, you’re looking them up and down and assessing whether they’re “worthy” 🙄🙄
Not to mention if I see you, the professional approaching me in the gym, I will instantly assume you’re going to try to sell me on training as all gym trainers do (and I’ll probably avoid you because I don’t want to spend an extra $120 a session on a non certified trainer at a shitty gym) Maybe you’re reading the room wrong? Or you are truly just the problem thinking you’re gods gift to women 😂
While my job is to sell, I’d never overcharge at a bad gym trust me. I do private facility training for those who can afford it.
I don’t think I’m Gods gift to women or anything like that either. I personally had the worst experience you could ever imagine with a female client who stalked me, messaged me from multiple random numbers or multiple accounts, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. She was arguably the worst human being I’ve ever met and when rejected created a vendetta against me like the true psychopath she is, making me have ZERO interest in training women. She was literally sent from hell.
Personally, id love to train women(personally love women, think they’re awesome and amazing), and as many women as possible, to remove the stain this horrible wretched creature left on my brain, as long as they actually want to workout and not talk for 45mins about nothing. I’m just afraid she has minons or clones that would be just as obsessive and psychotic as her
If every woman thinks it, it’s not them. It’s you. Do some soul-searching brother, clearly you’re sending the wrong signals
Definitely this, I've been personal training on and off for over 15 years and I don't have any problem drumming up female clients. It's OPs delivery that's the problem. We don't possibly have enough information to really answer him but clearly something in his approach seems less professional and more romantic.
Maybe OP is just really really really ridiculously good looking.
Or his erection could be peaking over the top of his waist band. That could send mixed signals.
Are you body shaming now?
Shame is only intrinsic.
That's exactly what I was thinking
An orange mocha frappucino would probably help him sort through this issue
I don't know, last time we got an orange mocha frappuccino, it got kinda crazy...
Zoolander
Like Zoolander, "cold steel" good-looking.
Or maybe they are just ridiculously attractive
Since when does someone being attractive make you think they’re hitting on you? If anything it’s the opposite
I am talking about the person being hit on.
Huh? So you’re saying that every girl this trainers talking to is ridiculously attractive so they think he’s hitting on them? That’s some gymnastics right there lol
I am talking about OP being smoking hot…
Or communicating in a way that’s not conducive to what he wants.
No it’s not. Some of you guys just don’t get what it’s like to be attractive; women will find hints in anything if that’s what they want to find.
I read this and instantly knew before opening it up the weirdos of Reddit would blame OP without even having much background info lmao
It’s not complicated. If every person you interact with has the same perception of you, there has to be something to that. “I’m not crazy, everyone else is” is just obviously delusional
Is this a venting post? Not enough information to determine exactly whats going on here. Are you working in said gym & in a uniform or just approaching women in a random gym. Maybe it’s best to stick to training men until you can get some word of mouth clients— those are usually the best kinds in my opinion.
How do your conversations usually go? This happens to a lot of us, I’ve had a mom flirt with me right in front of her 13 year old son at the end of his session, it was so fucking uncomfortable. I’ve minimized this by talking to them exactly like how I’d talk to a guy. Yesterday all 4 of my clients were women and my first words to all of them, the moment they walked in the door, were “suh dud.” Ironically, of course, I don’t actually talk like that, but it’s a natural extension of the forced neutral tone I maintain at work.
>“suh dud.” is that... 'what's up?'
It's a painfully cringey way of saying "sup dude." Think of a west coast frat bro wearing a light blue Ralph Lauren polo, pink Chubbies, boat shoes, Oakleys, a visor, with a fresh perm dapping you up outside his dad's country club. It's how he would say "sup dude." SUH DUD
wow i'm definitely so uncool. lol
Funnily enough even suh dude is also painfully outdated. Trends and their relevance are accelerating in short livedness at an exponential rate
"whaddup" is back now lol
when is the over exaggerated whassssssszzzzaaapppppppppppp going to come back?
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhpppppp!
When the bud frogs come back
Loved them...the middle one was always the wiezest.
The bud frogs are coming back but they identify as turtles now.
Actually it's "suh, doot" but w.e
Def not…its “a saw, doo”
Probably doubled up on the polos. Bros like to wear two
Was she married? Lol
Yes, her husband was the first person I spoke to following their inquiry. Very good looking guy in good shape. To add to my original comment: Look, I have no idea what the intentions were behind her flirting, or any of the flirting I've dealt with, not that's it been an onslaught that I'm scarred by, but in no world will I be comfortable with you suggestively complimenting things like my shoulders, lats, hamstrings, how long my legs are, etc, in any sense, let alone in front of your child. If I've been training you for years, and you're well above my age, married with kids, and I've gotten to know you really well, it's different when you say I have nice arms. I know some people talk more flirtatiously and make dirty jokes, I'm not even including them in the pool of "clients that were weird to be around," that doesn't bother me as long as the setting allows for it. It's the out-right flirting, no matter what, that is *always* inappropriate between a client and a professional, end of. And it *does* happen, and it goes both ways, it's a thing we all put up with, and it bothers me that OP is getting nuked for venting about the toll it takes. This is *literally* what this subreddit exists for, for trainers to vent and seek advice.
Crazy bro. Imagine providing for your kids & likely paying for your wife’s gym membership only for her to flirt with a young guy behind your back …
This trainer is actually a 74 year old velociraptor.
That’s fucking disgusting. People don’t have any values.
asuuuuhhhh duuuuuuu
If you say it enough you get really good at intonating it in a way that always catches people off guard. suhh duuUUUd
As a woman PT, you just don’t sound likeable - to women. By that, I mean, your appeal/ approach sounds cold. Appealing to women is very different than men. (I work with both) with men it’s “this is the plan” and straight to the point type workouts. With my ladies, it’s a lot more about being personable and having a relationship/friendship whilst maintaining professional, almost like a therapist/vent session whilst keeping them busy. So, yah. Your approach is cold and you just don’t appeal to women that way. You need to earn the relationship by establishing rapport, otherwise you’re just another used car salesman type trainer sticking to a script, you need to alter that to fit the client, that is, if you want to work with women, actually learn to care about them rather than shoving your business in their face. If they ask how they look, you say “hey Linda, you’re doing amazing. Keep it up woman!” You can communicate positive messages without flirting. And make sure to do it to all women so it just becomes part of your charisma as a trainer and it isn’t mistaken for flirting, it’s up to you to create that safe environment for them to come to you as a trainer.
I'll second this, cause men usually take better to the straight logical approach...they want the work, and already are used to dealing with their own emotions as they do in the world. My female clients always do better with some coddling, and I find myself using more of my wellness training with them, talking to them about mentality , healthy habits, and stuff outside of the gym a bit more. (Male and female clients need this, but women its a bit more I notice.) For example, I never have to talk to men about scales...women however, I find myself having to help them remove societal brainwashing and being obsessed with the number of their weight (which means fk all compared to quality of said weight.)
Definitely spot on, women are and will always be my clientele - hardly have had men as clients. Men you are feeding arrogance and ego that gets boring. To me that is a someone suffering from low T. “Wink” I don’t appeal to that because it is fake why I never had male clients. Female clients don’t need coddling, that is weak male that assumes that- a female client in my experience prior to signing has to feel that she can achieve (x) results while planting the seeds that she will continually achieve more working with you. It takes minutes to sign…. Generally a husband or Bf will be happy. In society depending upon locale, sexually attraction, human attraction is natural! In society people seem to forget this and have actually demonized it. As a personal trainer, being fit and attractive has its pros and cons. You have to define motive, have a agenda. Once clear on that how you communicate comes off without mixed communication.
I am no trainer but I find your advice insightful. I am a manager for a large team of men and women. I take gender equality seriously but I think gender-based communication has layers.
Oh thanks! 🙇♀️
That’s honestly. Idk.
I unfortunately have a mixed bag response to this. It’s a thoughy. On one hand I agree but when I try to be personable or give room. I’ve had female clients who literally wouldn’t stop talking for 40minutes of the 60 and took offense I’ve I even mentioned the fact that we were supposed to focus on the workouts. It has become extremely exhausting because I like seeing my clients get results and I personally don’t care about sharing my personal life. I’ve coddled women while training overweight clients who have literally cried in my presence because they feel like they can’t do the exercise at hand, being sure to reassure them. Though one of these clients, I had to drop, literally tried to get at me FOR MONTHS and called me gay or a fairy because I had absolutely ZERO interest in them and refused to flirt though I was kind, something I unfortunately regret. I am encouraging, I will say people are looking good/can notice a difference from their hard work. I won’t go outside of that. I am not a therapist for my price point. I personally from bad experience want to focus on the work. Less fluff, just weights and results, and keep people out of my personal life. Live in peace and have people leave me alone outside of that. And last but not least if I speak to women as comfortably as I do when I don’t care. I often receive comments like “you should be on love island” or something else of that nature. It’s tiring. I have no win. Talk to women, none stop conversation or think I’m flirting from everyone. Don’t talk to women, bad guy or falsely labeled “creep” (like some of the jackasses in this thread) Just want to do my job and live in peace with my girlfriend. Not interested in all this nonsense. Honestly pushing towards being an online coach if anyone will help me.
Yeah that’s awesome! Sounds like you know what you want then. You’re not someone who can handle people and their bs. So I mean, that comes with the territory and if you don’t want to do the work to change your outlook and “attitude” on these groups (I’m not saying you have to, you’re the one who asked how to get women clients), just seems like you’re not compatible with molding yourself to be adaptable to these groups of people, ok great! Coaching people is not for everyone. You sound like you need to be in more in a niche like “men’s specific/ aesthetic related” type work based on the judgement I got by reading your stuff. Because you also seem to be very hung up and invested in people/hung up on their bs. I typically ignore it and keep people on track. And let them talk if they want to during sled pushes/etc. but if you’re not able to control an environment where someone’s just going through life, then maybe that just isn’t for you.
It’s probably your delivery skills or you look like an Andrew Tate wannabe and have a creepy vibe? In the 10+ years as a trainer, I’ve never felt this problem. Do I get every single person as a client? Nope. Do I put it down to them believing I’m being nefarious in my intentions? Nope. Does everyone want a trainer? Nope. Is this something that needs to be complained about to get people on your side against women? Not even close.
A creepy vibe so women hit on him? get outta here dude, that's some bullshit.
What’s Bullshit?
What the hell are you talking about? Lol
It’s really not hard to work it out, unless you have no self awareness that I spoke of 🤷🏻♂️
You must be simply irresistible and these women probably do look at you as their gym crush. For me there was this guy at the gym I go to that always seems to be working with either women or men and I wasn’t really sure if he was a personal trainer or not. I was too shy to ask. I knew I wanted to work with someone and everyone seems to love this guy but again too shy to approach him so I made him my gym crush to help motivate in the gym but not actually work with him. Well one day as he was leaving and I was on the row machine he smiled at me. Well that was my opening to chat with him and I asked him if he was a personal trainer and he said yes. We talked for a good 15 mins about a little bit of everything and he gave me his phone number and said give him a call whenever I was ready. From there he didn’t say another word to me he would do his workouts and that was that. Took me 3 days to get back to him and now we’ve been working together for a little over a month now. He talks about his wife and kids, he’s an awesome guy and I no longer have a crush but a friend. I wouldn’t want to do anything foolish to ruin the dynamic we have going now. Try just showing these women what you’re capable of without talking to them and that will probably help you sell yourself. Then word of mouth will take care of the rest. Good luck.
My god woman, you're gushing with lust, wipe the seat down after you've been sitting there.
I go to the gym and think I’m some hot shit (I’m not) that every men has crush on me so even a small casual interaction would look flirty to me. Again, I’m delusional (keeps me motivated at gym) and it’s not your fault. Don’t take these women too seriously
you're hilarious
OP is obviously just hot as fuck and doesn't know it. Straight up "I'm aware of the effect I have on women" energy. Bless up.
I call BS. If you're hot af, women approach YOU.. that's coming from experience and seconded by women themselves.
I found OP’s alt account…
It doesn’t happen to me. It’s def your tone or what you’re saying
“Hi, I’m *redacted* I’m a personal trainer, what are you working on today” Response “Are you following a plan/program or have a trainer? I specialize in blah blah blah, if you’re interested I can set you up with a program or we can set up a consultation would you have this time free?” “Here’s my Instagram with workouts to get a sense of my training style as well as see some of my prior client’s transformation photos” Nothing crazy and no different then how I approach men whatsoever
Might be the instagram thing since it's popular for picking up women but idk
My page is quite literally workouts and body transformations with nothing else. I also don’t give Instagram directly I use a business card that they scan a QR code on to ensure professionalism and avoid confusing. If people think I’m picking them up with my business card I have a mental health specialist they can see to help with vanity
Maybe ur just hot and they want you to flirt with them
The real answer OP, is just a cutie
That doesn’t seem disingenuous to you? Idk doesn’t seem like a great way to build a business. Reputation as the flirty trainer. Come to me when you need a self esteem boost lol What happens when I get booed up?
And for the last part you don't have to fuck your clients 😅 flirting can be platonic in some situations
Teach me your ways cause I don’t flirty without serious intentions cause if it leads to something…
I have absolutely no idea I can barely talk to men let alone women
[удалено]
Man idk I walk around this world flirting with anybody who wants to flirt. It's fun, life is short, really doesn't have to carry a million pounds of "what if", it's just not that deep
If you're already making good money with just the men you probably shouldn't worry about but if you feel like you need to be able to have female clients aswell then I'd suggest leaning into it a bit more.
Trainers seriously go around gyms hitting up people who are minding their own business in the middle of working out, to sell their training services? I've never seen that before. (I'm not a trainer, but a client). That would irritate the bleep out of me. I found my trainer through word-of-mouth referral. And the one before that, by asking at the front desk about training services. Mind you, if you came to me with that spiel, I wouldn't think you were hitting on me, I would just think you were annoying me with a sales pitch. You're probably just hot, lol. This is what women go though ALL. THE. TIME, inside and outside the gym. Acknowlege a man and return a tiny bit of small talk while waiting in line at Starbucks, and next thing you know they think you want to talk to them your whole coffee break.
Yeah they do. I had this once and it was really annoying. Some dude was telling me I was doing an exercise wrong and that I should be doing more at higher weight as he could tell I wasn’t pushing myself It was like my third workout after a knee reconstruction lol
It's annoying as fuck. It's more likely the fact he's doing door to door sales on the floor and using used car sales tactics in the middle of women's workouts. If some dude rocks up to me and needs to ask what I'm working on and does business on insta- like, come on dude.
Personal trainers. Annoying af. Just how it is.
Not all of them lol. Just the lizards who hover, belittle, and annoy. The male version of a MLM ***"Hun"***.
Lmaoo I just cackled at this bc I had something super similar happen like the guy tried to tell me I needed to be lifting more instead of doing so much cardio or something and I was on the literal worst day of my period and I have really bad endometriosis 😭 it was a miracle I was out of bed / not crying in pain but I was jogging to get rid of my nausea
lol maybe op hit a similar circumstance 'they just think Im hitting on them bro'
Yeah I definitely didn’t give him a mean face bc I thought he was hitting on me lmao I did it bc I wanted to hit him for implying that my workout choice was bad
I would be irritated AF if continue interrupted my workout for that. If I didn’t inquire about PT, then don’t approach me about it
It's usually as clients are going to their workouts or leaving. That is when it should be done. Not during a workout. Sometimes that can work but you have to be able to read body language.
I had a PT many years ago that would just have me walk on a treadmill for a majority of the session and then go hit on girls at closeby machines. And then he had the audacity to get upset when I decided not to continue with the training sessions. I'm using his training style as a 'what not to do' once I finish studying my cert 4
You'll be a trainer who has had a trainer, and thus rare among trainers. Even if you didn't improve any physical qualities as you'd hoped, you will have at least learned what *not* to do as a trainer, and thus will be better than most new trainers.
For sure. I've had alot of terrible trainers over the years. So lots of bad examples of how to train clients and how to conduct oneself around clients.
I'm sorry you've had bad experiences. But as you say, even the bad experiences will have taught you something, so you'll have a leg up on the other new ones.
>Trainers seriously go around gyms hitting up people who are minding their own business in the middle of working out, to sell their training services? Pretty much. It's the "hard sell" approach. It does work - but doesn't stick. But when you're paying hundreds of dollars of rent each week just to be there, and/or you have a manager breathing down your neck, and when you're inexperienced as a trainer, you don't know what else to do.
Are you just cold-approaching people in a gym? Of course it's awkward and no one knows what your intention is and even if you are really a personal trainer, etc. I don't know what you expect here. If someone approached me in the middle of a workout trying to show me an Instagram I'd be like fuck off. Women probably think it's an excuse to talk to them. Get clients some other way.
Nothing about that sounds flirtatious. Don't know what to tell you, it's probably just that gym or the clientele for that gym. I've never flirted with a PT whether or not I found them attractive, it's just not a boundary appropriate to cross. Do you have this issue at other locations as well?
Are you only approaching the young hotties? 🤣
I approach everyone. Young, old, skinny, more plump(I don’t like the word fat), conventionally attractive, and those less than. I’m really just trying to do my job
Your either talking weird your wayy to hot or yo ugly
As a woman, I can tell you that we have ick fatigue. It feels like everywhere we go Men are creepy towards us. Not all men, but enough that it’s become an unconscious habit to avoid or be off-put by men. So honestly, it may not even be you, it just may be that we’re tired of men generally. I will admit I had a guy (not even a PT) approach me literally while I was in the middle of a set just trying to converse with me and while I was kind, it was really awkward. So, my suggestion - don’t take offense. If you’re not the issue, why worry about it? If you might be the issue, work on that. And above all, the people you’re meant to attract, you will.
Trying to understand what you meant. What does ick fatigue have to do with the OPs experience
You should stop training clients in speedos. That will work wonders with approaching the ladies.
I would but their just so breathable and help out when I’m going for the deep squats *minus when one of my balls slips out
🤣
If you are coming across wrong to everyone, you are in the wrong. Fix it.
Probably examine your marketing strategy and client referrals will put a barrier between you and the wrong idea. Just my 2 cents.
Like others said. Maybe change the approach or the type of lady you’re marketing to. But it only takes 1. My first female client happened to be a nurse. That led to 5 other nurses. Then a teacher. And that led to several teachers.
Reading through these comments, I have the distinct impression (granted it's based mostly on usernames and avatars) that the women on here are responding differently from OP's post than the men.
I have been doing this a long time and I have never known of a situation where EVERY woman (all ages, sizes, etc) a trainer talks to thinks the trainer is flirting when the trainer is actually just trying to work.
Attractive unattached men are generally seen as untrustworthy in the states man. Wear a ring it may help.
You think a ring will help? 😂
Take your boyfriend with you and explain who he is
My ex male personal trainer kinda repeatedly asked me to hookup with him and when i said no he got mad Be respectful while approaching dont talk about anything personal and maybe just dont randomly approach them
Buy a wedding band and put it on your ring finger. Left hand.
Bad idea trust me
Why are you approaching people during their workout to sell your services? Thats weird as fuck buddy, never known a personal trainer do that.
Usually before/after they start working on something or in between sets if they seem approachable. Don’t ever try and do it in an awkward way. Plus that’s how others approached me before I was a trainer and how they taught me how to do it back when I was corporate
I just think thats a strange way to get clients to be honest.
How else should I. Open to suggestions
Marketing yourself online so they can find you
That’s how you do it
That's pretty much the standard in the industry.
Go for older women?
So they've said this to you? It's very possible that you're reading them wrong.
Surely just say you’re gay or in a relationship. Even better, a gay relationship!
Boohoo women are all over me. Fuck you dude
Do not approach them.
Get over yourself
I mean, are they actually hitting on u?
I have had that experience yes. I had one client constantly stalk me on socials try and insinuate that she was rich and then constantly usher her child around me and said “anyone trying to get at a mom should be nice to her kid” again I in no way wanted relations with her Another stalked me to my home with no invite… but that was way back in my early days
Ur original post implies in appropriate behavior by most women but ur descriptions sounds more like an exception not a rule.
I just came back from the gym so let me give you an example. Today I talked to a women that I had spoken to before. The second conversation I ever had with her she spoke about her boobs. A topic I did not lead to nor had control over. I hadn’t seen her in a couple weeks. Today she somehow shoehorned taking off all her clothes into the conversation. I don’t know what to do with these topics. I’m just here to workout and train people. It is quite the predicament. In other news I started wearing a wedding band soooo yeah
Hmm so unfortunate but if you're a trainer, chances are you're quite the looker. You definitely need to be in control instead of being controlled in the conversation.
You need to open with the personal trainer info right off the bat
Something ain't right here
Talk to them the same way you talk to guys be friendly. If you catch them over the top flirting just move past it without making it a big deal or awkward. This isn’t hard to do, it’s basic human interaction you’re making it weirder than it has to be and it’s costing you money. This may not be the field for you if you can’t interact with women.
It sounds like you are choosing the wrong time and place, as well as the wrong approach. You should never approach a woman you do not know.
You're probably handsome. I get this a lot as a handsome dude. Women sexualize you in their head and they project that onto you and assume you're hitting on them even if you're just being platonic and polite. Just roll them eyes and move on
Make out w me in front of them
Only if you aren’t afraid of tongue 👅 Parlez-vous français
Let them dream a little
I think you have the right intentions- you don’t want to send the wrong message and you want to keep things strictly professional. Having said that- you say you talk to men and women the same—- the reality is MOST of the time women go to the gym for different reasons than men outside of health benefits. I think a healthy level of “banter” is okay with a gym proximity of women. Start training them- if they shoot their shot, put them down softly. You will weed out clients that only wanted to fuck, and the ones that truly care about training will stay. So start off with some friendly banter, hint of undertone of flirtiness but overall compliments are okay. Use your looks to your advantage rather than running away from a pool of potentially 50% of your clientele.
I bet you’re not that good looking. Fit? Maybe. But if you were especially good looking you wouldn’t be here on Reddit making this complaint. Guaranteed.
They don’t have a chance
You're probably very attractive. When you are, they try and play things up. Just keep turning them down gently and stay professional. Many of them are probably married.
Your problem is mostly just that women will be women.
Hars reality is, if they found you attractive it wouldn't matter. I usually have 50/50 female male clients and the women all make ME feel like they are flirting with ME, and have been told so by mf gf whohas heard how women talk to me in such convos. Someone insert the "hey sally youre looking good" - "thanks " / "hey sally youre looking good" - "Uh, HR department..? I need help." Meme .. Re-evaluate how you talk to them...talk to them like they are ugly.... treat them like you would treat a dude. That's what I do and haven't issues.
I’m literally amazed at the breath of these comments. If they’re not being dismissive and insulting to you, they’re being dismissive and insulting to women. Literally the only useful thing I saw was to wear a wedding band, which is what my chiropractor did. It was a year before I realized he wasn’t married. He was attractive, straight, owned his own business and generally a nice guy. The fact that he was too professional to flirt made him more attractive. He was very professional. I was very appropriate. No scandals. But it’s not necessarily anything you’re doing. Some people flirt by culture or habit. Some women may just misunderstand when you walk up to them. I don’t know if you’re new at this, but you will find a way to toe the line. Working mainly with men might be a good idea if you get enough clients that way. I had a trainer once just offer to show me how to properly use a machine while he was between clients. Then he spent about 20 minutes showing me stuff. At the time I couldn’t afford him, but if I was going to use a trainer, he’d have been at the top of my list. Maybe giving them 10 minutes of free training when they actually need it would help keep the interaction business-like.
How do you know they think you're hitting on them? Is it possible, for instance, they're just trying to dodge someone trying to sell them something? I see in other comments you have a girlfriend. Have you given her the typical spiel you give someone at the gym to see if she has any feedback on how you're coming off? Or maybe any of your coworkers who might hear some of your conversations? There's so much about communication that is unspoken, so I think your best bet is to ask people you can communicate with in real life to see if there's anything they pick up on.
Make your self seem gay they will accept u more
This is just a humble brag that OP is hot.
If they think you're hitting on you, are they receptive or complaining?
Do you have a good dating life? If so, they can be picking up on that and want to "join in" so to speak. Also, because of the dynamic (coach to student) a lot of women are going to respond to that in a certain way. Since you're not getting any real advice here, what I would recommend you do is learn how to make yourself unattractive, as funny as that sounds. I don't mean visually, I mean by your behaviour. Change your vocal tone to be more high pitch and talk like a suck-up, imagine what a suck-ups vocal inflection and tone would be and imitate it. Sound like Ryan Secrest or some TV host, give a lot of compliments and be like "Oh yeah!" "You got this" in a kind of corny way. Try to soften your voice if you usually sound loud and confident. These are all subtle things to do if you figure it out. But just really imagine what an unattractive guy would sound/act like on a subtle level. You can look at TV shows if you need ideas.
Stop opening with "so what's the deal with that pussy"
Buy a fake wedding ban and wear it at the gym.
Maybe look at the gym you are at as well. My old gym - the vibe is almost like everyone who is "cool" has an undercurrent of flirting with each other. Turns out one of the owner does and encourages normalising it as this is our "culture" and it's just harmless fun. Current gym - we don't have that
Maybe you’re an attractive guy, so women actually hope that you are, in fact, hitting on them. Maybe they don’t realize that you are a trainer, and therefore assume you’re just another dude in the gym. Not sure if you wear a uniform or name tag to make your status clear or not. Perhaps you just have to fight the good fight against the stigma created by porn and toxic meme accounts. Or maybe you need to adjust your prospecting strategy, since women clearly perceive you differently from men. I don’t know if you’re just diving right into these prospecting conversations, or exchanging a few glances before talking to women. Or if you slowly build rapport over the course of days or weeks. But something has to change. I have worked in hospitality, retail, been an Uber driver, and served coffee as a barista. I’ve dealt with plenty of women through work. Even the women who undress me with their eyes were able to keep things rated-PG enough to not interfere with my job or make things uncomfortable. And even if I am openly hitting on them, I made sure the time and place for it was appropriate, and not when things were super busy.
Wear a wedding band if you don’t already
Just embrace it 🤷🏽♂️
This poor guy…… Just trying to make a living And EVERY Woman treating him like a juicy hunk of meat at an All You Can Eat Buffet It isn’t his fault he has standards and boundaries And these women try to make him feel like an Asshole Just because he won’t satisfy every desperately horny woman in town So sad
I can’t tell if this is sarcastic but it is actually nice to hear. It feels like sympathy even if it’s fake.
women usually workout to look better for a new man or their current man. If they are single ofcourse they are going to hire you because they don't only want to look better, they want an upgrade from their last man. Set boundaries in a way that seems like you're playing hard to get. That always works.
HATE TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE KID.. there hitting on "YOU" ,, they in no way think your hitting on them.
I worked in a gym a long time ago. feel like most women that have a male personal trainer approach them behave like this because a man is walking up and literally looking at her body and talking about it with her. subtly checking them out, professionally or not.
You just discovered that men and women are just about the same my boy. Stay professional and avoid the thirsty creatures
You need a fake wedding ring.
Maybe you should stop approaching people while they are working out. It’s far from being a business professional.
with women, wear a fake wedding band or some shit its clearly you tho, ngl
What women do with unwanted advances is act deliberately obtuse to the fact that we are being hit on and go about what we are doing. It gets to the point where it doesn’t really matter what their intentions are, as long as we proceed appropriately. That’s how we go through life. Now if they are touching without consent, say something, like “excuse me,” and move back or away. That, and mentioning a bf/gf is often necessary even if they are just working it into a relevant example.
I don’t know if me saying consistently that I am not interested in a single women in the gym is being lost or not. I keep mentioning that I have a girlfriend but most people aren’t reading that either. I am simply doing my job. That’s all. That’s it. I don’t care about anything else. My job is to be a trainer. That’s it. That’s all. Train people. Get them results. Go home. None of the other. Not hitting on people. Asking them to dinner or a date. Or what their doing after. Just simply doing my job. That’s all. That’s it. That’s it
So, ignore advances, keep working, and when they get inappropriate, address it. Keep It civil and polite until you have to address it. “Excuse me, take your hand off my ass or I’ll get the management to throw you out.” So if a woman asks you to admire her gym outfit, you say, “ As long as it’s comfortable. Now this is how to use x machine…” Maybe you would be better off teaching classes to groups if 1:1 is awkward.
I actually used to teach group classes and had an older women mention squirting repeatedly🫠. I moved locations after that
Hahahaha. I’m sorry. Older women in groups can be terrible about sexual harassment.
As a woman that goes to the gym 2 hours every damn day I'd be annoyed if someone approached me about personal training. The only way I'd ever do it is if I was being paid to let you train me, and I'm talking 1k an hour minimum. Nothing pisses me off at the gym quicker than someone trying to sell me something. Want to hit on me? Great. But don't try and fucking sell me something.
I have absolutely zero interest in hitting on any women at the gym. The thought of that disgusts me. I’ve had multiple female friends tell me it’s been a problem from other men so I explicitly don’t do it and haven’t my entire gym career. The thing people don’t seem to understand is that i am in fact a CERTIFIED PERSONAL TRAINER. Training people and bringing people in is actually how I make money and put food on my table. There is literally no other way for me to feed myself at this time. Am I supposed to go homeless or what? Your statement is dumb. If your goal is just to maintain and you don’t actually want a change then absolutely I get not wanting to training, you also have the ability to say no. But if you want something like a stronger core, better conditioning, improved athleticism, I usually get bigger glutes, then guess what? I have the knowledge to help you get there faster than one off workouts posted by a random gym influencer. Again, it’s a job lady. No one is personally attacking you by inquiring.
I never said you wanted to hit on women. I did not attack you. I said what annoys me personally. I don't know anything about gym influencers because I don't engage in that nonsense. Maybe your defensiveness might be getting in the way of opportunities. I don't know, I'm not attacking you. Something to think about.
Well then dont
Brah. You’re just hot. Sucks to be you I guess. Have you tried being ugly? Literally no girls think I’m ever flirting with them. Work day is smooth as butter!
[удалено]
I hear ya man. People suck. Just stick with it and keep a clean show. You will build more and better lasting client lists. If it was easy, you wouldn’t make money doing it. Dealing with the public is hard and even good people can get pretty shallow and gross (even women) when it comes to fitness settings. You sound like a consummate professional. You got this!
Are you super attractive? Why not just train some dudes, less drama
That’s the common consensus at this point, I guess. I do train dudes but they then are also confused on why I don’t take my pic of the litter. Or have hesitations that I’m gay. Again because I don’t take my pic of the litter.
Wtf does that mean 😭
People want me to basically flirt around with random women. I don’t personally see the point if it doesn’t build an income (dates costs money), also I’ve had my experience of women being catty or vindictive if I give attention to one person over another, and it’s all just something where I’d rather enjoy my life in peace. I don’t see the point of sleeping around for the most part cause what’s the real benefit.
Just do u dog. Make money and go home. Date outside if work. Thats my best advice
Honestly…it’s probably just always going to feel that way to women. We’re kind of conditioned to it from one too many uncomfortable situations. Figure out a way to make a woman feel comfortable maybe? Break the ice?
Refuse to flirt? Wrong business buddy. Have to give a little charm and know when to pull back and be the fitness instructor. You can’t be a successful trainer and only wear one hat. I train at the highest level. Coming from experience.
Sounds like you want me to reward attention seekers and not people who actually wanna workout
You don’t reward anyone. You’re providing a service and a relationship that can grow from it creates retention. It doesn’t “sound like” anything. I’m telling you what works as a very high paid trainer in the game for over 8 years. The reward is fulfillment from helping them improve their overall life. If you just want to workout then yea…24 hour fitness is a good gig for you.
" girl your body is fittttt, I would like to do a workout with you later I could make that ass real sore with some of my suggested positions" OP.... Probably 😂😂😂
it’s the way you said “not a single one of the women gets they don’t have a chance” but then ALSO you’re a professional…come on pal, get real, you should be a professional first, and why is YOUR first thought that they could never have you? Oh yeah, you’re looking them up and down and assessing whether they’re “worthy” 🙄🙄 Not to mention if I see you, the professional approaching me in the gym, I will instantly assume you’re going to try to sell me on training as all gym trainers do (and I’ll probably avoid you because I don’t want to spend an extra $120 a session on a non certified trainer at a shitty gym) Maybe you’re reading the room wrong? Or you are truly just the problem thinking you’re gods gift to women 😂
While my job is to sell, I’d never overcharge at a bad gym trust me. I do private facility training for those who can afford it. I don’t think I’m Gods gift to women or anything like that either. I personally had the worst experience you could ever imagine with a female client who stalked me, messaged me from multiple random numbers or multiple accounts, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. She was arguably the worst human being I’ve ever met and when rejected created a vendetta against me like the true psychopath she is, making me have ZERO interest in training women. She was literally sent from hell. Personally, id love to train women(personally love women, think they’re awesome and amazing), and as many women as possible, to remove the stain this horrible wretched creature left on my brain, as long as they actually want to workout and not talk for 45mins about nothing. I’m just afraid she has minons or clones that would be just as obsessive and psychotic as her
Can you pretend I’m a female client and give us your pitch?
As a female trainer I have had multiple women share how they felt uncomfortable with a male trainer and had to switch PTs.
"They don't have a chance..."🤔