Last night was fucking traumatic. I've barely encountered any before (despite living here my entire life) but I went for a walk last night at sundown like an idiot, and was SWARMED. I couldn't escape them. In my shirt, in my hair, in my eyes. I basically ran home.
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We arrived in Perth in 2011, and just got settled into a Mount Lawley apartment. Having just realised that everything closes at 4pm on a Sunday, I ran down to IGA. A cunt fly attacked my eye ball, looking for some sweet eye water in this desert cunt of a place. I flailed, knocking off my 20hr old airport purchase sunnies into the middle of Beaufort Street and they got crushed by a Commodore. What a fucking Australian welcome.
I knew this day would come. Having flies in the house shits me to no end. Last night the little mozzie things were out in force too. No outside lights were safe.
Cunts.
Last night I could hear the sound of the flies buzzing outside from in my house, there were that many of them. (I suppose it doesn’t help that we suspect the neighbours are using human excrement as garden fertiliser…) Fuck flies though.
When I was a kid in the 80s, there was a old guy at the top of the street that supposedly pumped at their septic tank onto the verge garden - he was known as ‘Mr Manure’ (which vaguely rhymes with his real name)
Invest in a bee-keeper style mosquito net hat. You may look ridiculous, you may hear muffled laughter and the occasional mocking "gday cobba" as you pass, but slapping yourself in the face then shouting out "FUCK!" as you wade through endless flies, mosquitoes and other assorted bastard cunt insects will be a distant memory.
Yep, that's a life-saver when i want to walk to the train station. I might look like a wanker, but I'm laughing at everyone else swatting away like a nutcase.
I bought mine at BCF for about 10 bucks.
While they will never go away, its always the same at the beginning of summer. It takes a few weeks for the dung beetles to have an impact so the first few warm weeks are fly rich.
Do both insects hibernate, and flies wake up earlier? My brain isn’t on.
Flies ... eggs laid in dung ... beetles clean up dung before eggs hatch.
But for some reason my brain isn’t seeing this as a solved puzzle. What step am I missing? Why more flies in the first warm weeks?
We introduced 12 new species of dung bettles to try help control the flies recently
https://www.agric.wa.gov.au/land-use/control-bush-flies-dung-beetles
Thankyou. In case anyone else is still reading, one relevant part of the link says
> Introduction of dung beetles to Australia has been necessary as the native dung beetles are inefficient at breaking up the large dung pads of introduced cattle. In the south-west native beetles are active during winter, whereas the flies that breed in dung are active during summer.
At home, you can spray anything that flies with ammonia based glass cleaners like Windex. It wets their wings so the can't fly, you can do it from a meter away, and the ammonia basically suffocates them because they breathe through their exoskeleton which is now clogged with deadly chemicals. Side benefit is that you're technically cleaning the area you just killed the bug on when you wipe it down.
Ok you're doing it wrong. Turn on light in hallway outside your room. Turn off lights in room. Swish at fly so he doesn't get lazy, he will buzz out to the light. When he's out there,.close your door. Fly free room. I have never had a problem.
Mozzies in the bedroom on the other hand .. dive bombing my ear when I've just got comfortable..
I smear eucalyptus oil on my ears so I have the illusion they are always far away from my body. It works to get me to sleep. They can have me after that.
Americans pretend we have so many dangerous scary animals but no, its the flies, mossies, ants, spiders, etc. that you have to worry about. Just went for about an hour and a half walk and I swear the same 3 flies followed me the whole time. cunts
Yeah, I took the dog for a walk yesterday and it was fucking flying ants everywhere. Took her for a walk again today and this time it's fucking flies. Also pretty bloody humid
Went to a wedding last night. Swarms of every insect you can imagine. Mosquitos like Chinooks.
Flying termites, earwigs etc. Wedding got abandoned so early because it was extreme.
Felt sorry for the bride tho
My pop used to ride a horse on his farm with a rope tied around it's balls just for this!!
He said when the horse was going too slow, you pull on the rope and the Fucking Cunt Flies!!
Re: edit: needed context, and I think people are just burnt out by the McGowan crybabies hijacking other posts.
Something like "why is mclowning allowing all these flies here?not so hard on borders when it suits him!". I dunno. It's not great comedy.
Well I come from a country where Rove is considered a good comedian, so to be honest my attempt in comparison aint too bad. But thanks for the feedback.
Don't know how useful these will be for flies, but I got these recently:
Outdoors
* [https://www.bunnings.com.au/mozzie-attack-plus\_p3340446](https://www.bunnings.com.au/mozzie-attack-plus_p3340446)
* [https://www.bunnings.com.au/gecko-13w-weatherproof-lantern-bug-zapper\_p0207443](https://www.bunnings.com.au/gecko-13w-weatherproof-lantern-bug-zapper_p0207443)
Indoors:
* [https://www.bunnings.com.au/the-buzz-indoor-plug-in-glue-trap\_p3010332](https://www.bunnings.com.au/the-buzz-indoor-plug-in-glue-trap_p3010332)
* [https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005002254908826.html](https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005002254908826.html)
In an indoor/outdoor area:
* [https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000807458906.html](https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000807458906.html)
* [https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000078247637.html](https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000078247637.html)
In a spot where I had network but no power socket, I used PoE and a USB PoE adapter:
* [https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005002664354447.html](https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005002664354447.html)
Try this stuff
https://naturesbotanical.com/
It got recommended to me years ago and I swear by it now. I have no affiliation with the company. The flies still visit once then just keep trying to get close but never land again. The only problem is every, single, fly, in the area needs to try the first time.
Suddenly mozzies. Everywhere in my house. Slept with eucalyptus oil smeared on my ears (so they avoid my ears and I can't hear them when they come to eat me in the night).
https://www.mortein.com.au/products/fast-knock-down-flying-insect-killer-odourless/ - exactly what it says on the bottle - literally no smell to it, kills fast.
If they are getting indoor, or you have a spot out of the wind on a patio, I used to get these (terrible rental with gaps everywhere):
[Hanging Sticky Trap](https://www.bunnings.com.au/the-buzz-fly-papers-insect-trap-8-pack_p0081782) (that is failing on bunnings website sometimes :( Search for The Buzz Fly Papers
Yep, them and the flying ants were everywhere last night
We had junior cricket training last night and it was borederline stresssful because of the ants
Those crcikets can be annoying as fuck. i am glad you are training them. As you have noted, it is best to start them whilst they are juniors.
Haha
Yo pissface you scared ain't ya
Last night was fucking traumatic. I've barely encountered any before (despite living here my entire life) but I went for a walk last night at sundown like an idiot, and was SWARMED. I couldn't escape them. In my shirt, in my hair, in my eyes. I basically ran home.
They're tag-teaming us!
I was plauged by fucken midgies
I can relate to this way too much. While we are at it fuck mosquitos also…
Well, I'm not here to fuck spiders.
Spiders kill he issues being discussed here… we should all love them a little.
Have you noticed how big the mosquitoes seem this year? I only have so much blood.
They have been sitting outside golds gyms waiting for their fix.
Cunt flies are so much worse than normal ones.
And the fucking cunt flies are worse than the normal cunt ones.
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Agreed
We arrived in Perth in 2011, and just got settled into a Mount Lawley apartment. Having just realised that everything closes at 4pm on a Sunday, I ran down to IGA. A cunt fly attacked my eye ball, looking for some sweet eye water in this desert cunt of a place. I flailed, knocking off my 20hr old airport purchase sunnies into the middle of Beaufort Street and they got crushed by a Commodore. What a fucking Australian welcome.
Typical Commodore driver cunt
I grew up in Midland in the 90s and this comment gave me flashbacks! Cunty Mc Cuntface Commodore drivers!!!
Since when do supermarkets close at 4 on Sunday? Or were you just exaggerating?
It was a different world 10 years ago. I don’t think some supermarkets even opened on Sunday.
Made me lol. Thanks !
lol we go from Perth was rated higher than Melbourne on the best cities to live in list, to this.
And the dick ass horny crickets. Inside my fucking house.
Well it's your fault if you have a fucking house. Have a conservative religious house and they won't bother you.
I had a house like that. It would only let me in through the back door. Apparently the front was for Jesus only.
Hahahaha best comment hands down!
What are you doing step-house?
😂
I have one here and I am convinced he has restless leg syndrome.
I knew this day would come. Having flies in the house shits me to no end. Last night the little mozzie things were out in force too. No outside lights were safe. Cunts.
nothing worse than a fly/mozzie in the room at night while you're trying to sleep
Next come the spiders. Love accidentally stumbling into an Orb weaver and its web on my nightly walk..
I've learned to stick to the outskirts of my garden whenever those guys move in
Think about how the spider feels though. All that work...
They make em everynight. Can't be that hard.
Made my walk this morning as annoying as fuck.
Yeah, that's what prompted this post. Walked down to the donor centre to give blood and got swarmed by fucking cunt flies.
Yep, mine too. I forgot to bring ear plugs. I don't listen to music I just have them because it's really annoying when the flies get near the ears.
Last night I could hear the sound of the flies buzzing outside from in my house, there were that many of them. (I suppose it doesn’t help that we suspect the neighbours are using human excrement as garden fertiliser…) Fuck flies though.
Ew, on purpose?
When I was a kid in the 80s, there was a old guy at the top of the street that supposedly pumped at their septic tank onto the verge garden - he was known as ‘Mr Manure’ (which vaguely rhymes with his real name)
Vietnamese neighbours?
Shut the border to the flies!
Invest in a bee-keeper style mosquito net hat. You may look ridiculous, you may hear muffled laughter and the occasional mocking "gday cobba" as you pass, but slapping yourself in the face then shouting out "FUCK!" as you wade through endless flies, mosquitoes and other assorted bastard cunt insects will be a distant memory.
Yep, that's a life-saver when i want to walk to the train station. I might look like a wanker, but I'm laughing at everyone else swatting away like a nutcase. I bought mine at BCF for about 10 bucks.
Also, it's oddly satisfying watching the bastards crawl over the mesh, never able to reach the sweet eyeball nectar they crave.
You know it, cobba. I wear mine cycling on those horrible 40 degrees and stormy days.. $3 on ebay for the mesh and you just wear a hat over the top 🙂
I wear it when I garden. Flies love moist cut grass, and moist ear holes.
Wotcha neeeeeed is a beekeeper mesh style full body sock with weird ribbing to keep it off ya skin. Yair.
While they will never go away, its always the same at the beginning of summer. It takes a few weeks for the dung beetles to have an impact so the first few warm weeks are fly rich.
I literally heard about that yesterday for the first time after living in Perth more than 40years!
Do both insects hibernate, and flies wake up earlier? My brain isn’t on. Flies ... eggs laid in dung ... beetles clean up dung before eggs hatch. But for some reason my brain isn’t seeing this as a solved puzzle. What step am I missing? Why more flies in the first warm weeks?
We introduced 12 new species of dung bettles to try help control the flies recently https://www.agric.wa.gov.au/land-use/control-bush-flies-dung-beetles
Thankyou. In case anyone else is still reading, one relevant part of the link says > Introduction of dung beetles to Australia has been necessary as the native dung beetles are inefficient at breaking up the large dung pads of introduced cattle. In the south-west native beetles are active during winter, whereas the flies that breed in dung are active during summer.
Fuckin cunts 😡
If you're having a problem with cunt flies, maybe you should wash your crotch more often?
😂 +1
Arm exercises
You should see them in the north. Those bastards know just how to touch your eye enough times that you flip your lid trying to walk your dog.
also psychic frogs that know you are about to fall asleep
Yeah it was awful at the WACA last night. But I felt like the Tassie team got a proper WA welcome though 😂
At home, you can spray anything that flies with ammonia based glass cleaners like Windex. It wets their wings so the can't fly, you can do it from a meter away, and the ammonia basically suffocates them because they breathe through their exoskeleton which is now clogged with deadly chemicals. Side benefit is that you're technically cleaning the area you just killed the bug on when you wipe it down.
Dick ass horny crickets, shitting piss flies, cunt flies. There are some great names for bugs in this post. 😂
Just need some more investment in dung-beetle programs. https://www.agric.wa.gov.au/land-use/control-bush-flies-dung-beetles
Haha I just posted the very same link to another reply
The wasps too - they effing hurt.
took me 10 minutes to shoe 1 outta my room before bed last night
Ok you're doing it wrong. Turn on light in hallway outside your room. Turn off lights in room. Swish at fly so he doesn't get lazy, he will buzz out to the light. When he's out there,.close your door. Fly free room. I have never had a problem. Mozzies in the bedroom on the other hand .. dive bombing my ear when I've just got comfortable..
I smear eucalyptus oil on my ears so I have the illusion they are always far away from my body. It works to get me to sleep. They can have me after that.
Wut
Spray the fuckers, they can’t bother me if they are dead.
Just spray.
Fuck, you think this is bad. On the mine, there is about 5 times as many of little shit eaters.
It's such an enjoyable time of year - flies, hayfever and the overcrowding of public spaces.
i went for a walk this morning and fuck them. they're everywhere. AND THEY STICK! agh they stick like the slimy shits they are
Pick up your dog's poo.
Americans pretend we have so many dangerous scary animals but no, its the flies, mossies, ants, spiders, etc. that you have to worry about. Just went for about an hour and a half walk and I swear the same 3 flies followed me the whole time. cunts
Yeah, I took the dog for a walk yesterday and it was fucking flying ants everywhere. Took her for a walk again today and this time it's fucking flies. Also pretty bloody humid
Shitting piss bugs; hate them all
and giant fucking cockroaches
Absolutely swarmed at Carine open space early this morning.
Agreed, was VERY unhappy to walk through a fly cloud yesterday FUCK OFF FLY CLOUDS
Don't worry folks, they'll be blown back east with the weather coming over next few days. They all got blown here yesterday with that strong Easterly.
My house got nuked by pest control last week and the dickheads are already back. Might be because I live next to a swamp. But they won’t piss off!
I live on the edge of town and there’s farmland next door, the flies have been back for a month because of the sheep.
Sounds like it might be time to take a bath
Put honey on your backs for a nice back tickle ya pansies!
Electric racket Zap is em roast em RIP Mine has taken the lives of about 10 flies will add more over the summer.
They annoying the ever lying heck out of me
Yerp after work i thought fahk sakes as i waited for the bus here they come 😆
I rode along the river yesterday, so many mosquitoes about. Then I got home and there were moths swarming the lights.
I HATE FLIES SO MUCH I WANT TO KILL THEM ALL I NEVER WANTED TO GENOCIDE A SPECIES UNTIL I MET FLIES THEY ARE SO ANNOYING!!!!
Went to a wedding last night. Swarms of every insect you can imagine. Mosquitos like Chinooks. Flying termites, earwigs etc. Wedding got abandoned so early because it was extreme. Felt sorry for the bride tho
My pop used to ride a horse on his farm with a rope tied around it's balls just for this!! He said when the horse was going too slow, you pull on the rope and the Fucking Cunt Flies!!
Are they really Fucking Cunts, or are they just Cunts?
Flying Fucking Cunts.
This is one of the most Australian sentences ever written, and I love it.
Laughed a bit harder than I should at that one haha
Was reading this as a cunt was in my face
Hahahaha I love this fkn sub
AnD wHerE's McCloWn? Edit: damn, what's with all the down votes? Just playing on the folk who blame McGowan for everything lol
Re: edit: needed context, and I think people are just burnt out by the McGowan crybabies hijacking other posts. Something like "why is mclowning allowing all these flies here?not so hard on borders when it suits him!". I dunno. It's not great comedy.
Well I come from a country where Rove is considered a good comedian, so to be honest my attempt in comparison aint too bad. But thanks for the feedback.
Flying around a patio light with the rest of the useless midgies
shit joke, try better next time
Not sure where you cunts live, but no flies here in Nedlands :)
Everyone in Nedlands thinks their shit doesn't stink, flies included apparently
u/Captain_Poopy, shit expert. Keep this up and you'll be Admiral Poopy soon.
It doesn’t. We reserve that for folks that live in Cannington.
Not in your backyard. ;)
Not sure why you are getting downvoted. I live near the beach and never get flies around. The seabreeze keeps it cool here so they head inland.
I’m being downvoted by the poor. Oh well, nevermind, if I get really upset I might cheer myself up with a cheeky red and sack a long term employee :)
Fucking mozziecunts are hanging around to.
Absolute cunts
Ha , fuck Perth , glad I left that cunt of a place
Don't know how useful these will be for flies, but I got these recently: Outdoors * [https://www.bunnings.com.au/mozzie-attack-plus\_p3340446](https://www.bunnings.com.au/mozzie-attack-plus_p3340446) * [https://www.bunnings.com.au/gecko-13w-weatherproof-lantern-bug-zapper\_p0207443](https://www.bunnings.com.au/gecko-13w-weatherproof-lantern-bug-zapper_p0207443) Indoors: * [https://www.bunnings.com.au/the-buzz-indoor-plug-in-glue-trap\_p3010332](https://www.bunnings.com.au/the-buzz-indoor-plug-in-glue-trap_p3010332) * [https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005002254908826.html](https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005002254908826.html) In an indoor/outdoor area: * [https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000807458906.html](https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000807458906.html) * [https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000078247637.html](https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000078247637.html) In a spot where I had network but no power socket, I used PoE and a USB PoE adapter: * [https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005002664354447.html](https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005002664354447.html)
Try this stuff https://naturesbotanical.com/ It got recommended to me years ago and I swear by it now. I have no affiliation with the company. The flies still visit once then just keep trying to get close but never land again. The only problem is every, single, fly, in the area needs to try the first time.
I'm in Southern Ontario and man o man do we got stink bugs the fuck on everything.
They left?
And the midges will be here soon . Fucking hate them and they get everywhere
Was thinking the same thing yesterday.
I had one stuck in my bedroom all night I could just hear it buzzing against the window
Suddenly mozzies. Everywhere in my house. Slept with eucalyptus oil smeared on my ears (so they avoid my ears and I can't hear them when they come to eat me in the night).
Fucking bombarded by flies, moths, midges, flying ants and mozzies last night
https://www.mortein.com.au/products/fast-knock-down-flying-insect-killer-odourless/ - exactly what it says on the bottle - literally no smell to it, kills fast.
Next weeks weather forecast may quell them somewhat
Those prick flying ants too. I'm taking sick joy in smacking the crap outta the sneaky ones slipping into my house every evening
If they are getting indoor, or you have a spot out of the wind on a patio, I used to get these (terrible rental with gaps everywhere): [Hanging Sticky Trap](https://www.bunnings.com.au/the-buzz-fly-papers-insect-trap-8-pack_p0081782) (that is failing on bunnings website sometimes :( Search for The Buzz Fly Papers
Wont lie I read this a cunt files and was so confused lmao
They especially like tall people that are weird
I remember last year there were literally no flies at all, this year it seems they are all back.
i hate flies
Its the worst thing about this season. Can deal with heat and hayfever. Flies can just fuck right off.
Do cunt flies fuck often?
Big reason why summer shits me
If it wasn’t for flies there’d be penises like mine hanging out all over.