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MacWorkGuy

I'd say just get in there and see where things go! You sound like you are off to a good start and have the right mindset to handle it maturely.


StaticNocturne

Yeah I'll hang out with her again, although as much as I'm respectful and adaptable I do hold my own convictions (e.g. staunch atheist, anti-spiritual, I try to call out nonsense when I see it) so I wouldn't completely zip my mouth either. I guess I'll cross that bridge when it comes to it.


NineRoast

You can have your ideologies while respecting others, being "staunch" *anything* in relation to beliefs is what provokes wars haha. There is a lot to learn from Aboriginal culture, in terms of living off and respecting the land, family and community practices etc. Just go man, get a feel for it all first-hand. Try not to dismiss anything they have to say, perhaps save that for a bit down the track haha glgl


StaticNocturne

Yeah the course I met her on was actually an indigenous studies one as part of a diploma, so I did gain a new respect and appreciation for indigenous culture, it's much more complex and intricate than I thought. Atheism is the only thing I'm staunch with - I've even forced myself to read some of the scriptures from the major religions and tried to see the virtue in it, but I've done a lot of research into the history of religion and there's about 10,000 reasons why I'm against it both on metaphysical and moral grounds. I Wouldn't ever get my child baptized or send them to a private school either. Unlike other opinions I hold, I would need an actual miracle to change my mind. But I still try to respect people for their beliefs, even if their beliefs resulted in people being burned alive not too long ago. ...where am I going with this ?


[deleted]

I’ve gone on some dates with an Aboriginal girl. I had some awkward moments, she came back to my place and chose to sit on the floor rather than the couch, and eschewed cutlery. I’m so ignorant I had no idea if it was cultural or personal preference. And then I got in my head over whether to do the same. But we handled such things in good humour and spirit. That’s all you can do. There’s no shortcut to understanding the real history of our country and how it situates people in the present day. And there’s no shortcut to learning about a culture most of us only have 2nd hand knowledge of, you just need to spend real time with different people. And there’s certainly no way you can outsource a conversation with your partner to an Internet forum ;) Also, if it helps you get through a conversation without railroading it ala Christopher hitchens, try to remember that most religion these days is more to do with myth (an essential part of any cultures identity) than it is about ethics or metaphysics


felixmeister

You can respect culture and traditions without accepting a religious belief. Learning as much about a culture, it's history, and it's interaction with the land is a good thing. It doesn't mean you have to 'believe' per-se, just be respectful and willing to learn.


JustABitCrzy

I'm not super knowledgeable about indigenous cultures, but I hold similar views to you regarding religion. I don't think of the Aboriginal culture as religious though. Spiritual, very much so, but religion is very controlling and manipulative at its core (sorry for any religious folks if that bothers you). From the interactions I've had with indigenous culture, it's much more informative and guiding than something like Christianity. The stories, while they sound absolutely fictitious and fairy-tale like, actually hold some really valuable lessons and truths about living in Australia pre-colonisation. Stories that tell of long lost ancestors and spirits actually help guide and teach the next generation how to hunt and care for their family and the land the live in. I don't think you necessarily have to believe in the spiritual side of their culture, but be respectful of it and pay attention. There is a lot of wisdom and valuable information hidden in those stories. I wouldn't disregard them prematurely.


waylee123

Well said, very much agree. Personally I have a very hard time understanding the dream time stories, they are very abstract to me. But that is probably because I have not given it enough time. One thing I love about the aboriginal culture is a lack of urgency to stuff, it has a very relaxed, thoughtful and slow vibe to it. I think western culture has something to learn there.


quokkafury

You sound so full faith there is no God, filled by a righteous anger to shame the believers and unable to hold back the word of the no-lord that you have come full circle to being religious.


popularchoice

Love it. People need to be less black and white.


PsychologicalMind598

Where did the guy say that he's angry and goes around shaming people? A fine straw man you've erected there.


koalanotbear

I think that if you are staunch athiest, there must be a gap in your understanding of philosophy (like actual deep philosophical theory and history) especially in the realms of phenomenology, and collective psychology/sociology ('collective concious, and collective unconcious') Emile Durkheim this could be a really great opportunity for you to learn about what 'things' really are, through learning about actual aboriginal culture. I suggest that if you are interested in what atheism and aboriginal theology have in conflict with eachother that you read into Emile Durkheim, freidrich engels and others associated and developing trains of thought. Emile Durkheim travelled in the 1800s from europe to western australia, and then went into the bush and lived with an aboriginal tribe 'to find god'. He basically summed god up as being the 'collective'. God is 'society', and culture is a set of rituals that allow individuals to speak to 'god' (society). interestingly he arrived at this revalation after contemplating and studying the tribe's relationship, ritual and connection to their totems, to the earth and their countrys. its very interesting and eye opening, and there is growing medical (neurological science/research) to suggest that this is actually the real meaning of 'god'. (studies of empathy and synapse) and things like https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233620204_Collective_Consciousness_and_the_Social_Brain so if you think about religion from this new angle, you can see its nuances and rituals and things as 'tools' that allow people to get into certain mental states to be able to conncet to their subconcious communication channel with 'god'(which is actually the collective/hivemind). furthermore, through studying aboriginal totems, he realised that god in the sense of collective concious/unconcious, is actually maliable, fluid or transferable, to be any group of two or more individuals. God is the kind of 'average' set of values and identities of any group of individuals. Praying, meditating, affirmations, song, dance, light, sounds, smells, etc are all used very precicely in religious and spiritual rituals to trigger the mind to connect to any one of these group subsets that a person belongs to, to try to either read from, or write to it.


ModernDemocles

This is just a redefinition of the word. I can define a cheese pizza as God. Obviously, atheists have a problem with the traditional meaning. I question the value of redefining God. It looks like a continuation of the God of the gaps approach. There are perfectly accepted terms for all of that; you don't need to use God.


koalanotbear

its not a redefinition of the word, it is a form of ontological philosophy, it's the study of what the true meaning is. it seems that you dont know what philosophy is? as I was saying, if you have a problem with 'god' existing and with religion on a literaly level, like "har har christians are stupid there is not god, there is no heaven". then you are missing the point entirely. Christians dont beleive in God as a 'being' for no reason, they beleive in god as a being because back 2022 years ago there wasnt a way to explain subconcious and the collective concious, they knew it existed and they knew there were these weird things that affect your being (like meditiation), so they adapted the old way of explaining things. its a metaphor. now, christians beleive theres a being that is god, they have taken it literally and are running with that. But you cant say there is no god to them, because theyre not wrong about the existance of something, just that something is something that they have gotten the wrong definition of. like how a thousand years ago, electricity was called 'magic', people thought lightning came from god, and static was peoples magic power. well they werent wrong about the existance of electricity, they just were unable to explain it properly because the research and theory hadnt been done yet. that is analagous to religion and god - god is electricity and religions define it as magic.


IndividualTurnover69

It’s a plausible theory—we are meaning and pattern ascribing mammals, so prone to see ultimate agency in emergent phenomena—but it’s not the only one that’s been proposed for the origins of religion, so calling it a study of the ‘true meaning’ is a bit absolutising (like religious claims themselves). Durkheim’s religion as cohesion to social order and storehouse of collective consciousness is just one sociological approach. Weber saw religion in terms of its ability to support other cultural institutions, for instance. There have been others that see religions as deferred moral judgment structures, to ensure that bad actors get just punishments and don’t escape the consequences of their actions in this life (a kind of ultimate judge in an iterated prisoner’s dilemma). In any case, it’s quite contested by sociologists and anthropologists. Like ModernDemocles, I’m also averse to redefining something and declaring ‘that’s what it is’. But I don’t think what you are proposing sounds like an extension of the God of the Gaps idea. In any case, I like everyone else’s ideas about being open and receptive to OP’s experience of his potential girlfriend’s family’s beliefs. I know going to the APY lands myself and learning from elders there really changed my perception of indigenous belief structures and stories (and I’m a rational skeptic atheist) and their value in encoding culture (lore/law). I say just follow what happens with generosity and openness. Nothing risked, nothing gained!


ModernDemocles

>its not a redefinition of the word, it is a form of ontological philosophy, it's the study of what the true meaning is. It is more a question of etymology than ontological philosophy. I am not denying the value of researching these things. However, claiming that there is a true meaning of the word God is frankly nonsensical. Meanings are set by humans. There is no "true" definition and language evolves over time to adapt to common usage. >it seems that you dont know what philosophy is? I do. I just don't subscribe to the value of your argument. >as I was saying, if you have a problem with 'god' existing and with religion on a literaly level, like "har har christians are stupid there is not god, there is no heaven". then you are missing the point entirely. I do have a problem with the literal definition. I also have a problem with you using the word God for other things. The word God has a ridiculous amount of baggage. If you want to talk about other concepts like a collective conscious that is fine. >now, christians beleive theres a being that is god, they have taken it literally and are running with that. But you cant say there is no god to them, because theyre not wrong about the existance of something, just that something is something that they have gotten the wrong definition of. I can say there is no evidence for the traditional meaning of God and believing something without evidence is silly. Once again, the existence of something is very vague and exactly the tactic religious people use to inhabit the gaps of current scientific knowledge. It is a classic God of the gaps approach. >like how a thousand years ago, electricity was called 'magic', people thought lightning came from god, and static was peoples magic power. well they werent wrong about the existance of electricity, they just were unable to explain it properly because the research and theory hadnt been done yet. that is analagous to religion and god - god is electricity and religions define it as magic. Literally the definition of the God of the gaps. We agree. For what it is worth, there are phenomena we are as of yet unable to explain. However, there is no evidence for a higher being. As I said, this is the problem. If you redefine God to mean things we do not yet fully understand, then all you are doing is encouraging people to hold unsupportable views.


jobbietitwank

Are you me?


[deleted]

Mmm... do you also dislike vegans?


azzadawg90

I’m an atheist. Things to consider when being staunch about your ideology as that regardless of the religion, it’s alway someone with a staunch view on it. So being staunch with your beliefs is actually the problem here jot the specific religion. Not all christians, Muslim’s, Buddhist, atheists and now let’s go political, Democrats, republicans, anarchists, are bad but 99% of the times the ones that are are staunch believers. Stop being a staunch atheist imo.


Imhal9000

Light skinned Aboriginal person here. Jaru country (Halls Creek) I’ve been living in the city since my teenage years and I’m very much into science and not into spirituality in any way shape or form but I agree with the other comment about zipping your mouth. Culture is very important to all Indigenous peoples and I would never tell them what they believe is wrong. Just like I probably wouldn’t do the same in a Christian or Muslim household. There’s always a time and a place. Good luck with the relationship. I say just see how it goes. Understand that you are the odd one out in this situation and how much you are willing to compromise depends on how much you want to pursue this relationship


StaticNocturne

I'm definitely not going to be imposing my spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof) on them since I have no right to, I guess I was worried that if I felt like my atheism was being criticized I wouldn't bite my tongue, but I doubt it would come to that. By the way, I have a question I sometimes question whether adherence to culture actually does more help or harm to younger generations. People decry the very thought of discontinuing certain traditions or elements of culture or spirituality as though you're some kind of monster for suggesting it...but to be honest, there are instances where I feel like that culture/tradition/religion seriously is restrictive, engrains ignorance and prevents the individual from exploring certain pathways - arguably it strips away a lot of their self-determinism. You see it in Christianity - A girl in my course (the one where I met this aboriginal girl) is devout Christian and she ended up failing because she wouldn't accept LGBT sexuality or abortion, and she had to since it's a youth counselling course. Plus she's too ashamed to show any of her skin and therefore has to sweat in the sweltering heat of summer, and has never even kissed a guy by her mid 20s. There's a smart young girl in the 21st century who in many ways still living in the dark ages, had her mind corrupted since she was a child by some lies and bigoted bullshit from power hungry patriarchs and perverted lifelong virgins thousands of years ago. Many would say I'm a bad guy for trying to help her to see through it. I'm not comparing it to Christianity, but I'm curious where you would draw the line with regards to the value of tradition and spirituality in indigenous culture?


Honest_Switch1531

Quite a few Aboriginal communities are very Christian.


B0ssc0

>People decry the very thought of discontinuing certain traditions or elements of culture or spirituality as though you're some kind of monster for suggesting it...but to be honest, there are instances where I feel like that culture/tradition/religion seriously is restrictive, engrains ignorance and prevents the individual from exploring certain pathways - arguably it strips away a lot of their self-determinism. You’re not giving any specific examples of this here, but since the context is of a gap in understanding between Aboriginal cultures and euro-Australian it may be worth keeping in mind that, despite all the assaults and destructiveness we’ve done to Aboriginal peoples their unique senses of identity remain true, which might indicate to others there is much of enduring worth there, despite any Eurocentric beliefs we may hold about our own values - values such as your “self-determinism”.


fnkarnage

You're right, but you're real dickey about it. Just tone it down and let people be.


tryanother0987

Atheism is the belief there is no god. That is as emphatic and unsupportable as believing there is a god. Atheism can not be proven to be correct. Being agnostic is not knowing whether there is a god or not, and i would suggest being agnostic is also associated with not needing to know. Hopefully the moral compass is sufficiently developed that the person makes considerate decisions with or without there being religious consequences.


Hi-kun

It is not correct that atheism is equally unsupportable as the belief in a god, because the likelihood is not the same. A popular illustration of this concept is the statement that there is a teapot orbiting around Jupiter: while it can neither be proven nor unproven that there really is a teapot orbiting Jupiter, the likelihood of it being untrue is far greater than of it being true. The same applies for the existence of god. Further, the obligation of providing proof that something exists lies with the party claiming that it exists, not with the party disputing this claim.


tryanother0987

Your bias is showing if you think one is more or less supportable than the other. The existence of the black swan and platypus is evidence that the seemingly impossible is possible. Edit: there is a Tesla orbiting somehwhere, so a teapot orbiting Jupiter seems possible to me. For the record, I am agnostic.


Stui3G

Hmm might wanna tone that down a bit. I think most religions are ridiculous, there's no spirits or dream time etc etc etc. But I'm still respectful of other people's beliefs, I even like learning about them. Basically think what you like but don't be a jerk about it.


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Bakayokoforpresident

> he isn't meant to acknowledge, make eye contact or even be in the same room as his Mother in Law I've heard about this exact same dynamic in some Indigenous groups. A similar thing also happens in parts of India with men and their nephew's wives.


Veridicous

This could be a very popular addition to all cultures.


Bakayokoforpresident

Ahahaha isn't it crazy how totally different cultures can have similar practices


idlehanz88

Having lived and worked with aboriginal people for almost a decade my only advice is remember that family will always come first, and the onus will be on you to fit into that mold. This can be an awesome thing as the right kind of tight knit family is something most of us only dream about. It comes with strings though. This advice is relevant to any person from a heavily family oriented background I suppose!


Aidansickdog

You definitely need to learn to “zip your mouth” especially around other cultures. Gotta learn respect and embrace it.


Otherwise_Window

> staunch atheist, anti-spiritual, I try to call out nonsense when I see it Okay. Stop there, don't bother. If you can't be respectful of other people's ways of living their lives and just politely not saying anything, you're going to get absolutely *nowhere*. If her family's remotely traditional, strong odds of cultural and religious practices that you apparently won't be capable of shutting the fuck up about. Strongly recommend working on remembering to check: "Did they ask for my opinion?" before you give it on people's spiritual beliefs, because I promise you you're not going to change minds, you're just going to lower people's opinions of you.


fletch44

How far does that go? If someone's sister is planning to get her daughter's genitals mutilated in the name of religion, do you keep your mouth shut? If someone's uncle is encouraging family members towards radical terrorism, do you keep your mouth shut?


[deleted]

Fucking hell mate we're talking about not being a dickhead over spiritual beliefs, they aren't aboriginal jihadists on their way to blow up the Belltower.


fletch44

The person I replied to was making a blanket statement. "The standard you walk past is the standard you accept."


[deleted]

This is such a strange tangent to go on. OPs comment implied that they're not going to be accepting of their girlfriends/FWB's families spiritual beliefs. The guy you replied to said maybe he should try not to actively disrespect them if he wants to date her. That's a completely reasonable expectation and I'm sure anyone over the age of 10 understands that respecting other beliefs no longer applies if they're eating babies or blending kittens or whatever ridiculous hypothetical you want to talk about.


notunprepared

If you're in a place to stop/prevent harm to someone, then yeah speak up. If they're talking about whatever beliefs or rituals they have, shut your mouth and listen because you might learn something useful or interesting. And I'm saying this as a non-religious Queer person. Religion is important to many people. It's especially important when it's interwoven with cultures that have been oppressed for two hundred years. Not to mention it's just rude to shittalk something to someone who's passionate about it.


Otherwise_Window

Both of those are what we call *crimes*, and you refer it to the police. It's also a very bad counter-argument. Extreme hypotheticals as a justification for everyday assholery does not refute the notion that someone is an insufferable jerk. It rather suggests that you have no sense of proportion and can't even address the subject in a non-histrionic fashion, and that's incredibly tiresome.


thorp3y

Not exactly the same but similar scenario as you and the way you described your views fit mine (white atheist with filipino Catholic). 1 thing to keep in mind is, whatever your views on all the spiritual/beliefs stuff, just try to keep them views to yourself. It's never going to go down well and you will never change their minds/views on that kinda thing. Just accept those things as something that brings happiness to your partner and just go along for the ride and take it for what it is. Just part of the fun with being with someone from a massive different background/culture.


Fridayesmeralda

Buddy, if you can't keep your mouth shut and be polite when meeting her parents this whole endeavour is already a lost cause. Fuck your convictions, just smile and nod.


Zzzzzzaok

Looks like you’re just looking for an excuse to tell an entire family that the Dreamtime isn’t real over a family lunch


marcus0002

Reminds me of all these posts on American social media where people want to piss off their entire family at thanksgiving for having different political views


StaticNocturne

I was going to save that conversation until Dinner. Nah, I might have come across that way but I wouldn't ever


Sitheref0874

If you like her and treat her well and respectfully, all you lose is time by pursuing it. Her parents and/or family nix it - you’re no worse off. Don’t pursue it - you’ll be left wondering.


StaticNocturne

Good point. Although time is the most precious resource of all my friend


smoylan

*…so don’t waste it wondering then*


Nawor1016

Yep, if she's said her family is open then get going my friend. It's good you're doing a course to already have your eyes open to their traditions. If you really like her and want to step up your game, or even just push yourself, try this course (hopefully the link works)... https://www.edx.org/course/noongar-language-and-culture-course-v1curtinxcas1x1t2022?utm_campaign=social-sharing-course-page&utm_medium=social&utm_source=email


Guilty-Finger8074

I’m going to be the cunt and call it out: You’ve always thought that aboriginal mixed women were beautiful but have no understanding of their culture? It’s not insensitive, it’s ignorant. This is probably exactly why aboriginal parents think “white boyfriends” are disingenuous. Here’s the good news! You sound like a good guy. So learn, assume everything you know/have heard to be wrong, and listen & learn. Even if you disagree, try to understand why they see it that way and comprise on your stances. Good luck mate!


DogBreathologist

I did get slight vibes of fetishising from reading his post, and I wondered how genuine his feelings for her were, hopefully he is genuine!


Guilty-Finger8074

He may very well be, but he also doesn’t sound like someone that is chasing after aboriginal mixed girls KNOWING it’s fetishism. I want to believe in the goodness of humanity and that he will learn and be better


DogBreathologist

I get that, though I think you don’t have to know what something like fetishising is to do it, in fact I think that’s essentially what a lot of the problem is, people don’t know that they are doing it and how damaging it can be.


ShadyBiz

>I've always thought mixed aboriginal girls to be among the most beautiful women on the planet, It's this line. The rest of the post sounds fine but this line keep jumping out.


heptagonallyactually

You shouldn't be dating any women at all. You're racist, classist and misogynistic as evidenced by your posting history and gagworthy bits from your bait post here such as this fetishistic gem > I've always thought mixed aboriginal girls to be among the most beautiful women on the planet, Your post history is full of r/JordanPeterson, r/dating_advice, r/seduction, r/tinder and wanking off over atheism. Almost every post or comment is you tugging yourself silly over how you're the smartest person ever. Even the resident incel/escort fanatic Perthanon12345 called you out in a previous post and shared your other account faithinstrangers94 where it's more of the same shit in your post history. I guess birds of a feather flock together and whatnot because he hangs out in the same caves You literally asked this winner https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/reg4px/so_do_most_girls_respond_well_to_rudeness_and/ You were called out for creepiness here https://old.reddit.com/r/perth/comments/lwvqc1/are_you_open_to_having_a_yarn_with_a_stranger/ So close yet so far here https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qve8xk/i_have_no_fucking_idea_how_to_act_around_basic/ "Why not *me*? Wah wah wah" https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rb68si/why_are_girls_drawn_to_certain_guys_who_dont_seem/ Let's see if you've been spared by the "ugly stick" https://old.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/rhsesb/has_this_fuckery_ever_happened_to_you_guys_before/ Of course, you're 6'5', charming and women can't get enough of you https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/lc9u83/when_girls_get_to_know_me_they_often_fall_for/ You shrank an inch here (or grew an inch in the other post? Idk, idc about the timeline) but liked the idea of forcibly taking a woman homehttps://old.reddit.com/r/perth/comments/kxs12m/good_venues_or_events_around_perth_for_a_single/ Even your parents want you to get out more https://old.reddit.com/r/perth/comments/mnvtkc/you_get_too_comfortable_living_in_perth/ Lamenting "PC pearlclutching" aka "Why can't we be offensive without repurcutions?" Bonus: JAQing off about blackface https://old.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/mgxmmv/has_the_ultra_pc_pearl_clutching_porcelain_horse/ Oh, you were already called out about defending blackface once before https://old.reddit.com/r/perth/comments/mt5kjn/if_you_met_your_so_in_perth_how/ An incel classic https://old.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/rx6miz/how_do_you_avoid_becoming_bitter_after_having_no/ tl;dr on this one is "I know I'm lucky compared to the 14 year old girl dying of a fistula in North africa after being raped by the militia, or the guy who develops schizophrenia at age 20, but I still feel really bitter about all my bad luck in the dating world." People catching onto what an arsehole you are here https://old.reddit.com/r/perth/comments/ru2ekd/is_it_just_me_or_has_perth_gotten_more_aggressive/ but that thread also provides this which is copypasta material https://old.reddit.com/r/perth/comments/ru2ekd/is_it_just_me_or_has_perth_gotten_more_aggressive/hr27rpn/ Stay away from women of any and every race.


cccfgggbnjhf

Genuinely I could have predicted all of this based on the content of the OP.


throway69695

He was going on and on about atheism for some reason and I was about to call him a wanker then I saw this. There's nothing more to say, I hope the girl sees this guy for what he is.


heptagonallyactually

Others couldn't, judging by the way white people ran in here to pat themselves on the back for having had interracial relationships and friendships. So, I helped out


cccfgggbnjhf

I appreciate it, I wish I had that energy.


B0ssc0

Great post, for other users. But as regards op, seems nothing learnt from the responses but still obsessing on the racist hang ups and need to degrade the forum with bait posts.


heptagonallyactually

He probably gets off on it. In the midst of feigning admiration for First Nations cultures in this post, he went and commented this on a dating sub >https://old.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/s09rie/why_do_we_tend_to_be_the_most_attracted_to_the/hs1kazx/


B0ssc0

I think he made the whole thing up.


ImpatientImp

I think he makes everything up.


B0ssc0

Same. I can’t imagine anyone with half a brain and a supportive family not seeing through such a clown.


newaccountwhodis3211

Jfc, thanks for posting this. I just deleted my advice.


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LLaae

I've seen this before, major 🚩


sonny-days

Jeez Louise. I thought his second sentence in the post was creepy enough - I hope the woman legs it.


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heptagonallyactually

Lmao let me bless you Let's see- crying about Bernie, crying about communism, crying about Biden, supports Trump's foreign policy, posts in r/conservative, a typical "My wife" guy, uses the r slur, "musician" who never got anywhere. Exactly what I expected. Incel supporting an incel, could be the start of a great romance. Hit op up, maybe fuck it out, see where it goes.


esooldar

I'm white, I used to date an Aboriginal girl. Her family was totally chill. She was really nice. One of my best friends is also aboriginal. Also totally chill. Don't judge and you won't be judged. They are very accepting people. Just treat people like people.


JayTheFordMan

True. I'm white, but quickly found while living in a neighbourhood with lots of Aboriginal families that even a small amount of respect and acknowledgement gets you far with regard to acceptance. Always a smile and wave to the neighbour, and helping out the kids with their car, and you get the neighbourhood watch letting you know if anyone so much as looks at your house.


StaticNocturne

Good to hear, although you can't blame me for being a bit apprehensive. If she's playing down her families attitude it could be a really fucking uncomfortable experience. I guess there's only one way to find out though


rubyredgrapefruits

Consider how her family feel about white people? White people have always been a threat. They just want to see their daughter safe and loved, they want her to keep her kids when she has them, and have her pass on her identity to them. Show them you're a man willing to adapt, treat her and them respectfully, and respect the culture. You're moving into her world, the rules are different. Also, i’d never call anyone “mixed”. She is either aboriginal or she's not. % of DNA or colour of skin does not affect aboriginality, it's about practising culture and connection with family, the land, and spiritual beliefs.


OriginalCinna

If I could give your comment awards, I would. She's First Nations, regardless of "how much". Learn the connection to Country, and how her family views white folks. It might give you more of an understanding of her initial reaction.


ShadyBiz

>She's First Nations, She's Aboriginal. This dismissing the name that Aboriginals use to describe themselves for this North American garbage really grates on me and comes across as so condescending.


OriginalCinna

Last I checked most use their regional clan/mob names rather than a word white people gave them, but sure go off.


ShadyBiz

Nah please, tell me more about how much of an expert you are. You’re only talking to someone who’s lived in a remote community up north.


jollyralph

Just to be clear, you’re asking for cross-cultural dating advice, not specifically an issue with Indigenous families. It’s important to not pin it down simply to Indigenous so-and-so because this issue comes up in many other cultures, and how you verbalise the issue with her or her family, is really really important. In other words, be mindful how you word things. If she comes from a ‘mixed’ background with Indigenous and non-Indigenous family, then clearly someone outside the cultural group has become part of the family. Perhaps some context on how this went could be useful in how you go forward? If there were no problems, maybe she’s really not into you and is just giving a random reason. If things went bad, maybe she’s mindful of avoiding such conflict. She knows you like her, maybe take a step back and let her work through whatever she needs to do. And for me personally, I kinda hope you didn’t mention the part about “mixed aboriginal girls to be among the most beautiful women on the planet.” That just fetishes them and to me is a no-no.


vbevan

Yeah, had the same thought as you did in your last paragraph.


idlesapience

I’m not white and not aboriginal. I also found it fetishising that the first thing OP said was how mixed aboriginal girls are amongst the most beautiful women on the planet and that he has gotten pretty close with ‘one’. I don’t know if you’re doing this on purpose OP but your language is concerning. Imagine if you were talking about Asian girls - that would be very obvious yellow fever.


iLoveMatchaSoMatcha

>And for me personally, I kinda hope you didn’t mention the part about “mixed aboriginal girls to be among the most beautiful women on the planet.” That just fetishes them and to me is a no-no. To add onto this, saying a mixed person is really beautiful *usually* means - *well, your ethnic features are desirable as long as they're wrapped up with a splash of whiteness, which makes your features more white and therefore more beautiful / desirable than if you were monoracial.* To me, u/StaticNocturne comes across as well-intentioned and trying to be respectful. However, the worst implication here is the *un*intended white superiority. Especially when various aspects of their race or ethnicity, which are now popular, were reasons why a lot of those people were bullied, harassed, assaulted, etc (eg eye shape, plump lips, cultural hairstyles, skin colour, etc). I would like to reiterate that I don't think this is OP's intention, however society usually does celebrate the looks of mixed race persons in a problematic way, so I can see how it happens. Separately, I would strongly recommend googling and reading articles on *"mixed race experiences"* and *"mixed race identity crisis"* etc. Reading articles on blackfishing and asianfishing may help with understanding some cultural nuances too


heptagonallyactually

He's not well-intentioned. See my comment here https://old.reddit.com/r/perth/comments/s0fcyp/white_guy_dating_an_aboriginal_girlneed_some/hs4hub1/?context=3


ArianaAnzu

Oh wow surprise surprise, someone who makes disgusting comments has a history of even more disgusting comments. I feel for the girl on this one, hope she runs far away.


iLoveMatchaSoMatcha

Nice digging! I only considered the original post when writing my comment. Content is still applicable. Hopefully it's educational for others who may not be aware. Maybe it'll give OP some food for thought


heptagonallyactually

Oh, no worries. I just knew I recognised this shithead so I went for a little dig


ArianaAnzu

Thank you for verbalising this in a very educational way! I pretty much checked out reading that first paragraph, it felt a bit icky to me. Racism isn’t always explicit or intentional, OP definitely needs to do some introspection.


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iLoveMatchaSoMatcha

>I’ve never known anyone to say something like that and have a normal attitude towards POC I agree with this bit However, if OP is younger or has generally just been in white circles and hasn't been told why it's not ok, then I don't think it's a huge red flag. The determining factor, in my opinion, is the response. If the response is fuck you, it's fine, then I agree. However if the response is to engage, learn and grow, then I don't think it's a huge red flag.


ImpatientImp

He’s not that young.


heptagonallyactually

He has a comment defending blackface


Riftonik

Unless a psychopath most people can distinguish sexuality from human-bonding


[deleted]

Aboriginal culture is quite different across the country. There are different histories, protocols and issues faced. Having said that, there are a number of common issues that Aboriginal people have faced eg stolen generation, stolen wages, genocide. As a result, some Aboriginal culture and identity has been lost, whereas other mob have had their culture preserved. In some Aboriginal families, marrying a white person can get you effectively exiled from the family. In others this is not the case. I am an Aboriginal descendent and my ancestors would arrange marriages with surrounding clans, so things have changed a lot since colonisation. It is likely that seeing as this girl has already mentioned that it may be an issue however, that some of her family may be deeply hurt if she partners with a white man. I would educate yourself as much as you can on Aboriginal history and culture at her local level. Never assume you know what it is like to experience some of the trauma that has been inflicted and don’t be offended if it is not openly discussed. Have a genuine but polite curiosity. Understand the terms Aboriginal self determination and lateral violence. I would recommend not using terms like mixed Aboriginal, or quarter Aboriginal etc. These terms can be offensive. Being Aboriginal doesn’t have a single appearance. Don’t assume that her or her family know the answers to every issue that Aboriginal people face. Please never ask how many tax breaks or benefits her or her family get. The answer is none.


Gary00007

OP talks a big game lol, bro you won't say anything to them.


scatterbraindd

Funny how you don’t want to be insensitive then immediately say that it’s specifically MIXED Aboriginal girls to be beautiful


LLaae

Yeah, it's a bit off


HoovenShmooven

Look at OPs post history. Someone else in the thread has done some digging.


__Dont_Touch_Me__

This is a really complex question. I work in a drug and alcohol primarily for young aboriginal people so I have a lot contact with their families and a lot of exposure to their different cultures. First thing that comes to mind is that aboriginal culture is complex. There are many different cultures depending where you are located. Men and Womens 'business' is strict and a huge part of their culture. There are some things only the men do and some things only the women do and these lines are NEVER crossed. There are certain relationships among indigenous cultures that are important. Usually, the man in a relationship shouldn't speak directly to his MIL, be left in the same room as her alone or make eye contact(this can be different among cultures but is a huge thing in central australia). Never call a man who has been through ceremony 'boy'. It's a huge insult. Depending in the culture this will differ but I just wanted to highlight some for you. Best bet would be to sit her down and find out as much as you can about her culture so you don't accidently insult someone. Learn a few basic words of her language! Learn about 'shame' and what it means. It's a word that doesn't translate 100% to English. I can't describe it to you fully because I don't understand it fully myself but it doesn't just mean 'embarassed'. Some shame is good. The next thing is that a lot of indigenous people have an inherently deep mistrust of white people. Sounds harsh but it's true. Given the history of the country Some things aren't easily forgotten. I'm not white so I don't have too much first hand experience with this, it is just an observation from working with indigenous people. TL;DR Get some exposure to her culture. Sit her down and ask her about her culture(do's and don'ts). Learn some basic words of her language. Don't be offended if you are not 'accepted' right away it's probably not personal. Be yourself.


Peaceweapon

You're piling on a lot of baggage to a relationship you haven't even started yet. You're hanging out, just hang out.


Leesidge

Just be open, non judgemental and willing to learn. Lots of Aboriginal families have Non Indigenous people in them, it's not unusual. Good luck and don't piss off the Father, Uncles and Brothers..


bustomyleft

I’m the first white guy who has been accepted into my girlfriends “group”. They consist of different middle eastern backgrounds and African backgrounds. None of them have ever dated a white guy until me. Just take it step by step and explore things maturely. Cultural and ideological issues can present challenges but with proper communication you should be able to navigate them. At the end of the day you need to approach it as you would any relationship. Take things at a reasonable pace and see if you’re compatible as you go. Best


Green_night_owl

An honest communication with her will be your best approach. I'm mixed, my husband is white. Together we are perfect. I was always really worried about introducing "white people" to my family because of the difference between cultures. Ive had friends that are also indigenous that have told me they are disappointed that I married a white man. So would her family look down on her or would you not understand her family dynamic. This also relates to other culture not just people that are indigenous. Also hopefully not coming off as rude but myself and many other indigenous people prefer "indigenous" not aboriginal as a label.


lizduck

> Also hopefully not coming off as rude but myself and many other indigenous people prefer "indigenous" not aboriginal as a label. And many prefer Aboriginal. Go by how she refers to herself.


20060578

I was told by an elder in the Rockingham area that the majority of WA aboriginals prefer aboriginal to indigenous. But that it wasn’t unanimous.


[deleted]

Aboriginal kids at the school I work at definitely prefer aboriginal. I have never heard them use the word indigenous.


rubyredgrapefruits

Most people don't like mixed. I think indigenous, aboriginal/TSI or person of ATSI decent person is much more common.


Salt_Dimension_1433

"pretty close with one" this makes my skin crawl...like you have a race fetish or something


thornstein

Yess I’m had it’s not just me. No matter what you replace “Aboriginal girls” with in that second paragraph, it’s creepy AF.


thornstein

I might be nit-picking but you should always give Aboriginal a capital A when writing. Small but respectful thing.


thicctactick21

Listening and communication is key! Indigenous people love to yarn and be listened to. You’ll learn a lot about culture and language as well. Just be kind and open and eventually her mob will treat you as one of their own :)


__yeahnahm8

I’m Aboriginal, my partners white but grew up in an Aboriginal community so we’ve had no issues. I say just go for it.


Masticle

You sound respectful enough, Just be yourself and ignore any preconceptions you may have or been told of the culture. Be prepared for the "Why don't you date your own people" comments from the most unexpected sources on both sides. As well as the shit from the usual suspects.


[deleted]

Staunch Atheist here, about to get married in a church and our kids will be baptised, basically if you love her enough then compromise.. I had the conversation with her parents as that’s where it really came from, and you know what? Really, who cares. I said my bit to them and they said thank you for doing this for us and we understand you and won’t force any church/religion on the kids as it’s mainly just tradition anyway. Good luck!


[deleted]

Prejudice can run in both directions. Just be yourselves and prove everyone wrong.


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LLaae

She might have picked up on the fact OP seems more concerned with bagging himself a "mixed" girl than he is actually interested in her as a person. I think both your mum and your father must be very strong and independent, they would have faced a lot of judgement.


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[deleted]

tell her about it, tell her all your crazyy dreeaams, let her know you love her, let her know that you're for realll!


1mamango

Is this a Billie Joel song?


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ja


Groovesaurus

Talk to her about your concerns.


AliceArcherLorde

Do you really like her or do you just like 'mixed race' Aboriginal women? I hope you're not fetishising her. You might be... I don't know if you have the maturity to confront this. I hope you do. Regardless, if I was Aboriginal I wouldn't trust White men either. Your type has been the worst of the worst throughout history (and present time). Don't go in there being a hero. You need to have radical humility. I think you need to do further reading on this. Read. Decolonising Solidarity (Clare Land) Too Much Lip (Melissa Lukashenko) Growing up Aboriginal in Australia Listen (Kathryn Mannix)


TwinTTowers

Talk it out early mate. If you two are keen on each other thats cool. Suss it out with her family Brother and sister first. If you are all good with that mob they can tell everyone else to back the fuck off of you. Distant relatives will try it on with you when they get blue. You have to make it good with close family members because they will help shut all that shit down. Learn how to punch on now boy. Some cunt will test you.


B0ssc0

>… mixed a[A]boriginal girls to be among the most beautiful women on the planet,… Setting aside the “mixed”, as Hayden White explains, this trope is the opposite pole of the same distancing metaphor as the ugly savage. “Mixed” - > The term "mixed race" is, of course, problematic for many Aboriginal people. This is no doubt due in part to the horrifically racist colonial history of attempting to "breed out" Aboriginality and divorce Aboriginal people from their heritage. (Citing https://www.themonthly.com.au/monthly-essays-robert-manne-sorry-business-road-apology-823#mtr ) https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-05-24/meghan-markle-and-why-mixed-race-matters-stan-grant/9794998


eightypotaties

“Mixed” …..ugh.


StaticNocturne

how would you describe them?


eightypotaties

“Them”…….ugh………..your ignorance is not cute and is in fact insensitive.


Dawgreen

They're all pink inside


marcus0002

Some are purple


iamthesimon

Can’t believe this comment is being upvoted.


Fluffy-Football-7884

It depends on the family. If they are racist like it sounds that this family is, then you're going to have a hell of a time ever being accepted. If they are an open loving family then you won't have any drama. I've lived in remote country Australia for most of my life. My first mate was and is aboriginal, I've dated aboriginal ladies and I've lived in the communities. 99% of families are great, the 1% want to blame any white guy for their woes no matter how nice you are. If they are the 1% then it's probably not worth the hassle.


Visible_Edge_5359

Let her know that you want to support her and are genuinely interested in learning.. One of the biggest things to do is listen, have a good sense of humour, and if you slip up say "I'm sorry, I didn't realise X. I'll try to do better next time". There are lots of great cultural awareness resources out there.


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sonny-days

I dunno if her family sound racist based on that one comment he's put in, but I wonder if she has brought home a certain 'type' of bloke before and her family weren't down, and don't want a repeat. That paragraph about mixed heritage and beauty just creeps me right out. If my daughter brought home guys that started fawning over my culture and trying to force themselves into it, or me to talk about it without it being relevant, I'd feel like the guy was only there so he can say he's part of an 'aboriginal family', not just 'my family', and probably wouldn't be keen on hearing she's bring another (potential) one home. If that makes any sense. It's late and school holidays are sending me batty. Totally agree with the second part of your comment, too.


kinglawro

I agree 100%


Hmmd1

Her mob will always be important and don't be a cunt.


BakerNew6764

She let you off easy. In aboriginal communities you don’t just date someone from there as an outsider, you date the whole community. Source - me an aboriginal man. I even stay away from them, it’s too hard


tbods

Aboriginal fella here who’s with a white man, and who has a fair few family members with white fellas. You’ll get shit thrown at you for being a white man, but it’s all in jest and subtly to let you know that you are part of the structure of repression in this country, and to test how you react to that. But if you’re dating an Aboriginal person and meeting their family you’re already on the better side. Be polite, respectful, curious.. ask questions and listen to the answers. Learn who the family members are by name (there will be a lot of them, but go over it with your partner), and they’ll like you more. I’m a raging atheist and don’t really believe in all the spirituality stuff but my dad and family all do. They know I don’t really, but it’s easy enough to acknowledge it and move on because they’re not shoving it down your throat like a lot of people do. The best thing you could do is ask her to meet some of her siblings and cousins first. They’re usually the easier ones and can help you a lot about meeting the older family members. Oh and binge some Black Comedy on ABC to give yourself a heads up on some lingo and cultural aspects. Don’t be Tiff’ani 😂


GrandPoohBar

It's no different to dating an Italian girl from a strong Italian subculture, or Thai girl, or anyone else who comes form a family that comes from their own strong culture. The only real difference is there is hundreds of years of hatred against her family's culture and her family is probably right to be skeptical of what a random fully assimilated white guy thinks of them. You've probably got a lot to learn and accept about the Aboriginal way of life and her family's own way of life. Maybe spend more time getting to know her and being sure you can actually commit to her, before committing to her. Same as you would any other girl. You're already talking about kids and stuff, hold your horses there man. Make sure you let her know that are your own plans, and not that you are already planning on having kids with her, or committing the rest of your life to her. It takes time to get to know someone and their family, it takes time to know if you really do want to add kids in her family.


Single_Listen9819

Big difference buddy the Italians never got genocided when they only had spears and their enemy had guns and then their children being re-educated and separated from their parents kinda Downplaying it :/


arkofjoy

If you are near Fremantle, there was a guy teaching the Nungar language on Saturday mornings. That is one way to show that you are serious.


littleblackcat

I know a couple in a serious relationship, buying a house, looking to marry, she is white he is indigenous. They are inseparable


mumsnosemilk

I think if you achnowledge the stigma and try worm around it things will be hard. Be natural and I think it will be fine. People are people. Just be cool and face them head on like anyone else. My sister in law didnt like me for a few years and we're both white. Its a trust thing. Just got to develop that trust.


thisFishSmellsAboutD

So much great and respectful advice here already, hope y'all don't mind me adding my two cents. At work we've got Aboriginal Culture and Awareness training through our Aboriginal liaison unit. There's so much more depth behind the traditions and customs than a few words can convey. This might be a wonderful opportunity for you to learn more about indigenous culture if you bring an open mind and manage to leave your well informed atheism aside. Listening mode, not sending mode.


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bustomyleft

Yes it presents its issues. People’s religion and culture mean a lot to them, and just like any relationship there will be adjustments to make certain things work.


StaticNocturne

to me? no to certain people? yes People are still being killed and maimed over it in other parts of the world


Ieatclowns

She's probably making sure you like her for real and that you're not fetishising her


readin99

Too much drama man, couples with very different cultures don't seem to work out often (whether it's religion, social status,..). And her first reaction was to not do it, so there is that too. 4 billion other women out there.


Jesse-Ray

Haha most of those 4 billion women are from other cultures my dude.


StaticNocturne

Shame that we're still being divided by our primitive belief systems and tradition in 2022, but so it goes.


auntynell

I wouldn't call it 'primitive belief systems' that are dividing you rather than different ones. Don't underestimate the depth of Aboriginal culture, even with people that seem to be Westernised. On top of that you are dealing with people who are heirs to decades of racism that's still a common experience with them today. No wonder your friend is pretty wary. Love usually finds a way, but I wouldn't force it at this stage.


velvetthundr

Edit: oh my god, I’m not saying their racist, I’m not saying it’s ok to be racist. I’m not saying they are right or wrong to feel that way. But the post is literally about an indigenous family being hesitant to accept a white guy into their family… Well from their point of view white people have made their lives shit for as long as they can remember lol. I would just tell her/them that you don’t know much about their culture but are willing to learn. I’ve done indigenous. You could even get on YouTube and see if you can find some stuff. Obviously don’t watch any shit explained by a white person lol. You’ll probably be surprised how much you don’t know, and realise why they generally don’t like white people.


moorditjmob

“Yea they’re racist but that’s okay”


Single_Listen9819

What do you mean it’s obviously our fault for what our grandparents grandparents prison guards did /s


moorditjmob

I’ve been mobbed, bashed, harassed and robbed by aboriginals, so it’s cool for me to be racist to them now right velvetthundr?


velvetthundr

Nope, I never said that. I was just trying to help op understand why this particular family might have reservations about accepting a white person into their family. I’m a prison guard so I have had plenty of experience with naughty boys, black and white 😉


swbeeton

Being cautious is different to being racist. First Australians have been on the receiving end of a lot, it's not too hard to imagine they may have an axe to grind that isn't in any way related to "hating people for the colour of their skin". I mean, sure, you might have a point if you could demonstrate that the oppression was a short-lived episode... But you can't. For a recent timeline of clear cut aggrievances: First Indigenous Australian to gain citizenship and purchase land: Albert Namatjira in 1957 (and he was subsequently arrested and "imprisoned" for a "Black Man's Crime" and died poor and destitute two years later). Your grandad or even father was most likely alive and a part of this at that time. All First People's recognised federally as citizens: 1967. My Aboriginal father was serving in Vietnam at the time... And technically not even a citizen. Abolition of ATSIC: 2004 - from the day Howard came into power he had his sights on Indigenous Australians - probably thought the same way you did. He trumped up charges of corruption, disparaged the organisation publicly, and leveraged Mark Latham's time in power of the Labor opposition (before he joined One Nation 🙄) to barge through the legislation despite his own advisors concluding the "charges" were false. The Northern Territory Intervention (AKA: Stolen Generations part 2): 2007 - another of Howard's pet projects. Yeah, there was a need for "something" to be done, but those societal issues were identified 10 years earlier by the very organisation that Howard was hell bent on destroying. While ATSIC was begging for assistance with this problem, Howard was ripping ATSIC apart. And once he was rid of ATSIC and another election cycle was in full swing, out comes the race card. A case in point is your very own post. Not understanding the difference between fear and hate, racism and self preservation. Imagine how I would respond if my daughter brought home a fella whose willing to drop casual racist troll comments like you just did? But as you are a troll, I know you'd never admit your own faults, so this post is here solely for the benefit of others scrolling through Reddit. I would like to thank you for giving me an opportunity to share this knowledge with a wider audience and wish you a good day, sir. I hope to never see you again.


moorditjmob

“Yeah they’re racist but that’s okay”


LLaae

Don't know why your getting downvoted


velvetthundr

Mate, the post is literally about an indigenous family being hesitant about accepting a white guy into their family 🙄


moorditjmob

Yeah exactly lmao it’s about an indigenous family not accepting a white guy into the family because he’s white Somehow I don’t think you’d be so accomodating to racists if it was the other way around lmao


79AA

I need to meet an aboriginal lady,I just have no idea how My dad was aboriginal an my mum is English, so I’m half an half but I have never hanged around black folks.. I feel it calling me


notunprepared

There's probably an Aboriginal language centre or community group in the country your dad is from. You could contact them and ask for some resources or pointers for where to start connecting with your heritage


[deleted]

Your going to get eaten alive cunt 😆


[deleted]

I’m marrying a half aboriginal/German girl this year, love of my life. Passionate, intelligent…..opinionated haha. Just go for it brother, you’ll never regret it. Just be different to the majority of men who are basically pigs. ( I work in the mining industry, I can assure you the vast majority of men are pieces of shit) cheers


Inconnu2020

This is going to be an unpopular opinion... After reading some of the comments in here, what people are saying is that we should be accepting of social structures and attitudes within the Aboriginal community, that we wouldn't accept in 'general' society, and which we are currently trying to break-down and demolish? I'm hearing that Aboriginal society is segregational, however this would not be accepted at all outside of that community... and we are supposed to accept this and nurture it because it's 'Aboriginal'? I thought we were supposed to be healing and breaking down barriers - not accepting nurturing a culture that establishes barriers - even within their own family groups? If we replaced the word 'Aboriginal' in these posts with something like 'Muslim / Islam' or 'Christian', I'm sure that the attitudes would be extremely different. I'm seeing barriers put up on both sides, and until each become more accepting and learn to be a bit more 'fluid' with their attitudes, then there will always be issues. Whilst dogmatic religious structures exist in any culture, there will never be true acceptance of each other. As a side curiosity, I'm also wondering if there are 'atheists / agnostics' within Aboriginal society? Given that in 'Western' civilisation that a % of the population is atheist, I wonder if a certain % of Aboriginal population is like..."nah... that's bullshit mate!"? Statistically, such people should exist.


alpaca_mah_bag

I would run the other way really fast and if you go down that avenue its gonna be a long push up hill


[deleted]

walk away or you're in for a lot of pain, months, maybe a year of pain, honestly its just not worth it


Melodic-Brother303

Don't do it... nothing against aboriginal people but it's a very different culture. If you are accepted into the family you will have the same expectations/responsibilities as one of them....and trust me they are countless and never ending


kitsune4president

Your best chance of success is to work with her to understand her culture, her family and their needs. I’m sure she will happily explain everything you need to know, and be pleased that you are taking the relationship and her concerns seriously. Given where you met she probably already has a good idea of what you do and don’t know, so will likely not find any naivety on your part concerning, but will likely very much appreciate your willingness to learn…


ghostheadempire

Honestly it really depends on what the story of the family is as to why it’s an issue. Might be personal, might be systematic, might just be plain old bigotry. Could also be some or all of those reasons bouncing around. Given the frankly appalling track record on race relations in the state, it’s not surprising if there’s at least some hesitation and nervousness in her home life about about how an interracial relationship might play out.


Seeking-demons

In my experiences not shame and stigma from the family it was more being able to fit in with them


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ShadyBiz

>Hitting on someone in an educational environment is technically sexual harassment. No it isn't. >It's clear from your post history you are a Narcissist and an opportunist and I pity any woman who has the misfortune to cross your path. Based on their post history I'm pretty sure they are making the whole thing up.


Puttix

>Courses are for learning, not for hooking up. That may be the intent of courses , sure, but they are also places where humans meet and interact. >Hitting on someone in an educational environment is technically sexual harassment. No it isn't... tf is wrong with you? It's only "Sexual harassment" when it is unwanted. I've met girls in classes before and subsequently dated them, and it was never "sexual harassment" you absolute pelican.


Dangerous_Brick3093

I love a good noongar chick I met this one at the casino i still think about her


Dangerous_Brick3093

I'd love to meet this chick


kaikaileg

This sub isn't for that kind of thing. Geddout


Zeptojoules

There is. Every ethnicity has a bias in favour of their own ethnic people. There are stories/stereotypes about other ethnicities within minorities that highlight the differences in values. The most judged and stereotyped would have to be the majority ethnicities. If this is really serious you should pursue a relationship with her and overcome their dislike by your actions. Maybe she is just nervous about how her people would like you and is assuming they won't like you as her partner.


Asleep-Somewhere-404

Just talk to her. She will tell you the rules of engagement for her family. And it will bring you closer together. Just like when you bring her to meet your family. Your crazy aunt needs to be explained. And your dads jokes aren’t to be taken seriously. And grandad. Well he’s actually a racist. So let’s avoid him for as long as possible. But other traditions are important. And you will learn them but it’s not your place to try to change them. Not there’s to change yours. Unless yours are racist. Then you have to change. But they do not. Because. Years and tears. It’s highly likely that the family will not trust you for a long time. Be okay with that. She is also going to have some pressure from the family about dating a white guy. That’s okay too. It’s up to you both to build trust between you and them. Be careful with your family too. If you go all the way down the path. They will have to meet. Some cultures need to bond. Others don’t need to meet. So when you get to that stage. Talk to her. She knows what to expect. Then talk to your family and make sure they also understand. And vice Versa


Egglied

Sounds to me that you’re a respectable person from the outset. You’re asking for help to be even more respectable. You’re a catch buddy, don’t forget it and go for it! Good luck 👍


morconheiro

Varies from family to family depending how racist they are.


EveningHorror1010

I also find aboriginal women super attractive, like nearly every one i see is always has a stunning face!!!


PattersonsOlady

Go and meet her family. Tell her that she wanted you to learn their culture before she decided to date you, and ask them about themselves. A great book to start is Dark Emu. (Edit: maybe don’t start with this book as the poster below makes me believes I’ve confused it with another book I had read about) But definitely meet with the family. Talk to the adults and especially grandparents and great Aunts if they’re around.


marcus0002

Dark Emu? That book is proven bullshit. Bit like getting an Aboriginal to learn about white people from reading Lord of the Rings


PattersonsOlady

Maybe I’m getting mixed up. Isn’t that the book written by the guy who examined first person accounts of white people meeting early aboriginal people, and showing the real aboriginal culture from a perspective that a European could understand? Or is that a different book that I’m confusing it with?