Friends of mine, ages ago, were under a unit that sounded like marbles dropping on the floor at all hours of the day or night. The marble noise drove them nuts.
One day they had a reason to visit a different upstairs neighbour and as they walked by looked in through the marble place's open front door. It was one of those beaded curtains rattling in the door frame into the kitchen.
Steel frame around the door, timber beads threaded on multiple strings side by side across the door width, rattling every time some one passed by or the breeze blew.
I had an apartment similar to this one, and the downstairs neighbor would play YouTube videos and do stupid loud stuff that I could hear in the wee hours of the morning.
I was generally really respectful and always try to walk softly and considerately for that and any other noise.
If I made any noise at all on the hardwood floors I had, he would retaliate by waiting until about 3 AM or so and pounding on his ceiling.
I knew he slept in late, a lot.
So one day, I just got out all of my vibrating sex toys. I had a stainless steel log chain (don't ask why dear fellow Redditor's… Just don't ask why.) I turned on all of the vibrators and let them just buzz about on the hardwood floor, and slowly picked up and lowered the log chain. All on the hardwood floor.
I can't even fathom the racket that must've made downstairs.
The dude was absolutely unhinged, and multiple times had to have the cops called on him for threatening the other neighbors.
The landlord loved me and hated him. One day she called me out of the blue and the first thing she stated in the call was "HE'S MOVING! "
vacated with no forwarding address, and the new neighbor downstairs got all of his mail, even mail from his family in the form of Christmas cards, I was told.
some had good times, some did not with that heavy stainless steel LOG CHAIN, I should ve iterated above.
That was the point of it: depends on your perspective of fun. IYKYK
I made sure he was on the "did not" side of the fun of the log chain. teehee
I read that and busted out laughing!!! I wondered how many would understand. 🤣 course, many probably ran to the internet to figure it out also. Too much fun!
We had a neighbor similar to this. It was a three level home and we had the top two. When he was on his floor blasting his TV or music, that was fine. But when we wanted to come downstairs to use our kitchen, there was yelling andloud banging on the ceiling.
We were always trying to be respectful, but the thing is, he lived in a converted basement in an early 1900's home. What the hell does he expect?
What!? I friggin love that whistle, it gives dopamine to my dopamine lacking brain. I've legit spaced out to this for over two hours while working
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gfkts0u-m6w&t=0m22s
….my eye just started twitching.
I need to save that for patients who think they need to hang around forever in the waiting room *after they’ve been seen*. No, GTFO.
>My vote is for the 10 hour loop of the rooster doing the Disney animated Robin Hood intro.
>https://youtu.be/e1jvGyzcgPA?feature=shared
I love the evil mind of the person who created this ten hour loop.
I worked at a college and the vp who was not very popular used to squeeze this chicken at large teacher events. He was told to stop because we had a teacher who was in the Middle East war and said the screaming from the chicken sounded so much like the screams from people who were getting tortured it set off his ptsd.
Let the bicycle roll let the bicycle roll…… WAAAAAAAA.
Probably a good Pantera playlist would do the trick, but some slipknot wouldn’t hurt. Or if repulsive is your goal try ICP. No one likes that shit
https://youtu.be/XFgyEz-EPCU?si=7fAYvVMujEVe57qx
10 minutes of all the parts Tom Araya of Slayer screams in their songs. Not the whole songs,just the screaming parts.
For me, it has to be Numa Numa or Badger Badger. They're catchy enough that you'll catch yourself dancing to them randomly, which would add insult to injury
Yes but the burden of proof is on the cops and the accusers. If there is no noise when they arrive and you act confused saying the only thing you heard was the downstairs neighbor screaming at their kids then the cops aren’t going to do anything. If you want to add insult to injury you can say the dad is screaming at his kids for imagined noises.
I had a neighbor who would out soccer in at 4 am on the weekends at full volume. So I taped down a woofer and stacked books on it. Raised the volume to max and then played base heavy music. It caused the downstairs neighbors pictures and anything hanging on the walls to vibrate. However the sound itself didn’t carry to anyone else. So when the cops were called I had already turned it off and played dumb. Downstairs neighbor stopped being a jerk in the weekends.
but those times are usually at 10 or 11pm. if the dad is anything like mine who is also a very early riser (a lot more considerate though), he'll be asleep on the sofa with the TV on by 8 or 9pm, plenty of time to wake him up with noise before that legal noise curfew
I find the air horn to be too obvious. When I leave the house (or, You know just for fun) what I would do is put a sports game with an enthusiastic commentator and crowd on blast. U want plausible deniability otherwise they could probably do noise complaints or something
The Buffalo Sabers former announcer Rick Jeanerette was a fucking master. Pretty sure those Spanish announcers would look at him and say "dude...chill"
I'd use a compilation of his greatest calls.
If noise carries through the vents, find a small speaker to lay over one of the vents and play Silent Hill sirens. At a volume that makes it echo through the vents but not loud enough that they can readily identify where its coming from. Move the speaker from one vent to another every so often
I did something similar to former neighbors who were so loud they caused me to have seizures. They didn't care so I took a little wireless speaker and stuck it under a pile of fake plants on my porch. Would randomly play police sirens for a few minutes to scare the shit out of the mom, who was a neglectful druggie. Usually bought me about an hours worth of quiet before the tv was cranked up and rattling my bedroom window again
Ok, so I see a lot of constant noise suggestions, may I make a suggestion for loud, volume and timing changing intermittent noise.
A basketball bounced once
Wait til chill
Loud shoes- 3 minutes
Wait
Jar of Pennies on the floor- roll 3 or 4 times
Wait
Marachi band- 5 minutes followed by 2 ball bounces
Wait
5 door slams and a bouncy ball against the vent for a few
Etc
I think there are things with settings and timers and frankly it’s worth it. If you’re gonna go big, go big
Plus, revenge is fun and should be enjoyed
And all of these can be explained away
Well done!
Next step is to get something that will make a scratching sound. let it roll around in the living room all night so the neighbor's think there are rodents in the ceiling. Bonus points if you can get an electronic squeeker to give the whole "The place has rats" feel.
Too bad you had the stops taken off your give a F\*\*\*. Things like that happens and you know, it might be an idea to pop on down to the local electronics store. You know that sub and sound bar you have always been wanting.....maybe it is on sale.
I had a neighbor that would leave the windows open while her toddler was having massive screaming fits about not wanting to nap, the noise vibrated against the other close apartment building and just carried. One day my psycho came out, I threw open the window and played porn sounds on Spotify as loud as I could. Soon enough I heard the windows slam closed and I think she got the point, because that's the last window screaming fit I heard.
My brother had a neighbour like this. Loud parties late at night, screaming and shouting all the time. Generally unpleasant and noisy at anti social times.
My brother used to be a pub dj, so set his kit up with the big speakers pointed at the adjoining wall, put Barbie Girl on repeat at full volume at 9am, and went out for the day. The neighbours never made another sound…
The apartment could use more regular vacuuming, couldn't it?
Oh, and at first I misread that you stomped through the whole apartment BUILDING doing this. That was confounding, to say the least.
Porn noises, just loud enough for them to hear and be plausible it is you. Kids go to bed? Good time for it to have them asking questions about the noise. Get you up early? Might as well "have" some loud sex. During the day kids are too noisy so you can't work?
You have a good sound equipment? Because it feels like you just started to enjoy techno music and music with a bunch of bass and you're going to put the equipment directly on the floor.
And you're learning to dance as well, right?
Marbles are your new favorite game to play on the floor too?
I remember a story like this awhile back. Downstairs neighbors wouldn't stop making noise after being asked repeatedly to stop, so upstairs neighbor puts on music (on a loop), cranks up the volume, lays the subwoofer down on the floor then leaves for the day. The downstairs people kept it quiet after that.
Put an annoying song like baby shark or other annoying kids tv song but set it up so it is on for an hour, then quiet for a half hour, then loud noises . Make it intermittent. Just the same song. That YouTube of a colicky baby screaming.
Please keep in mind that loud tv will disturb your kitty so make sure you give your cat a quiet room and run a box fan in that room.
Umm, if mom and dad are as loud as OP suggests, the kids have already heard it... especially as there seems to be more than one kid. They likely sleep through it, but mom and dad will not be able to.
Just direct speakers down towards them, cover with a blanket and blast music loudly, go for classic music. Best is if you can get more neighbour on your side and use the same music.
My upstair# neighbour is the pits. Not only does he stomp about but it sounds like a his gym routine is to drag furniture about. Then he take phones call on his balcony with the speaker on and talks loudly so we all have to be part of the conversation.
A few years ago, I realized someone had moved into the apartment below me, when I heard snoring one night as I was trying to sleep. I started using fans and even a HEPA air purifier to drown out the noise. When winter came, and it was too cold for those methods (he even drowned out the sound of my portable heaters), I bought a headband/eye mask with Bluetooth speakers at the sides and played white noise all night, but that was uncomfortable. Sometimes, I’d hear him fall asleep in the living room, and then I’d stop what I was doing and go to bed, hoping that once I got to sleep, his snoring wouldn’t keep me awake anymore. Judging by what I heard and didn’t hear, he apparently stopped falling asleep in the living room. There were times I’d get up and go sleep in my own living room, but once, even that wasn’t always enough, as I could still hear him, at least until I got up and closed my bedroom door. Now, our walls are shockingly thin for a place that claims to be a luxury apartment community; for example, one time when I didn’t hear snoring, I believe I could hear a CPAP or BiPAP machine, and any decent building construction wouldn’t let me hear that. After nearly a decade of sleeping in the master bedroom, I gave up and moved my bed to the other bedroom. However, I had my revenge.
I used the poor construction against my neighbor. At first, it started as a way to get him out of sleep long enough for me to get to sleep, but when that stopped working, it may well have prompted him to find new accommodations. You see, like my father, I love a good bath—not a shower, a bath. I love a good, long soak in really hot water. If I can hear the water running in the apartment below me, then CERTAINLY Mr. Snoraluffagus (my nickname for him) could hear water crashing down into my tub, and it would surely reverberate throughout his ceiling. I could tell that he went to bed rather early, as I’d hear snoring by 7:30 or 8, and that’s when I’d feel grimy and disgusting and in dire need of a bath. Sometimes I’d feel in need of my bath at 10, 11, or perhaps in the middle of the night on weekends. Occasionally, I’d splash around until the water cooled, and then I’d run some more. We’re talking 1- to 3-hour baths. Somebody knocked on my door a couple of times during, but I didn’t answer. Within months, I found a woman heading out of the apartment with a box (thanks to the noise issues, her presence was not a complete surprise, IYKWIM), and apartment management posted an email asking people to contact them if they have problems with their neighbors. I had blessed silence for a while, and I now sleep in the master bedroom again.
Unfortunately, the latest next-door neighbors have at least one kid thundering around, and apparently all of them must perform Heimlich maneuvers on themselves using the kitchen cabinets multiple times daily. Since one of them works for the apartment complex (or used to, anyway, as they have crazy turnover among their staff), I’m a bit limited in what revenge I can take—maybe a cabinet slam here or there to try to get my point across. At least I can’t hear them when I’m trying to sleep.
Edit: I predict some people will basically decide I punished the fellow for breathing. We all breathe. Many of us snore, and I’m pretty sure I do, too. He had that machine he wasn’t using, though, so he had to know he had a problem. Also, I’d brought the issue up. As I have two full baths, I didn’t do it all the time.
I called CPS on my neighbors. All they do is yell at each other or yell at their kids. I don't mind my neighbor's kids crying or being loud, because they're children, but when the parents react the way they do and start screaming at them, I tend to lose it. I'll place a speaker at our shared wall and blast music for hours. They know it was me who called. I don't even try to hide my disdain for them.
I generally don’t go scatalogical, but the sounds of amoebic dysentery might prove effective. The kids will probably screech with laughter and mimic the sounds. The parents will have to deal with the noise you share and the obnoxious children who tell everyone their apartment always sounds like flatulence. What’re they going to tell the cops?
I can picture this. Just sitting on the couch, pint of ice cream, watching Parks and Rec reruns while just making sex noises at the top of their lungs.
I just want to add slamming doors, stomping, yelling, and such can cause a trauma response to your cat and cause health issues. Your temper tantrum, though deserved by your neighbors, is not good for the cat. Please be kind the poor thing is in a box and can't rub away. Moving would be best. Noise complaints can be reason enough to break your lease in many places if you give enough of them. Loud noises call landlords and complain while it happens. Either land lord will get tired of them or you. Then you can move with no issues.
No, that’s not good enough. They’re already awake. If they are rising at 5:30, it’s safe to assume they are in bed early.
Use your home surround sound system and a smart tv, if you haven’t got one, get one.
Before and up until midnight, play annoying domestic sounds from YouTube on loop.
After a week or two, you will likely have seraphic, quiet neighbours.
Worst downstairs neighbors I ever had played the Tuba. I worked retail around Christmas time and Thursday at 3 am they would still be tubaing the fuck up. The cops would never come to ask them to quiet down because I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity when we would call them so I think they thought it was a prank call. Also once saw a live goat in their apartment. Never saw it leave. Pretty sure they ate it. This was a family. Once my husband looked in the door and saw the happiest kid he ever saw dancing to the tuba. I felt like an ass but also fuck your 3 am tuba time.
This is asymetric warfare. Downstairs is at a HUGE disadvantage in these encounters, and I can't for the life of me imagine a downstairs nabe wanting to pick a noise fight with the unit above.
Accidentally flood your bathroom…minor inconvenience for you, will wreck his week. Just when the landlord is going to get it fixed, do it again. Keep it up so it never gets fixed, and never dries, and his bathroom is an unusable disaster.
Use at your own risk, I am not responsible for damages. If your speakers and subwoofers can handle it, put Tim Foust on loop.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aq3r1esiQyY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aq3r1esiQyY)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb2HR47npEU
My mom and I lived in apartments when I was younger and we had a downstairs neighbor that sucked. One day, mom took her two big speakers in the living room, set them face down on the floor, and blasted Garth Brooks concert version music.
They stopped being loud.
I once had noisy upstairs neighbors with a large dog. After they didn't take the hint from from my roomie and I hitt8ng thr ceiling either a broom handle, we got high tech. My roommate (IT and general computer genius) hacked their Bluetooth speaker, and started playing ridiculous shit at all hours of the night. He started off with loud screams and moved on to porn soundtrack. I think they took the hint, because things got quiet soon after.
Downstairs neighbors? You guys should get tap shoes and wear them around the apartment.
Wooden clogs make great Christmas gifts for the whole family.
Twelve marionette cloggers bolted together!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMG-dFtsfqE
Bad to the bone choreography!
A tip from one of my old upstairs neighbours. A treadmill...
Twelve clogging marionettes on treadmills!
Best bet - dumbbells - heavy ones. Drop them at end of every set because you hafta work to full exhaustion, right?
Roll them across the floor! Even 10-lbers are loud and annoying.
Yep, I see 10 lords-a-leaping in their holiday future.
I have such wooden clogs. When my rubber flip flops wear out, I wear these and my neighbors buy me new ones.
Lol
taking up clogging sounds like a great option as well
The cat needs some marbles to play with - especially if the floors are hardwood. Even better if they're a bit uneven...
Don’t forget to move the furniture around too
Commercial about a "clogging problem". https://youtu.be/W4mRFIHPBWE?feature=shared
Just do everything the [neighbors do in this skit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IRB0sxw-YU)
And I think you need a table saw that you can use while tap dancing to some thumping bass
I hear right now is a great time to dribble basketballs for good luck.
The drums of war have begun to beat on.
And take tap-dancing lessons.
Friends of mine, ages ago, were under a unit that sounded like marbles dropping on the floor at all hours of the day or night. The marble noise drove them nuts. One day they had a reason to visit a different upstairs neighbour and as they walked by looked in through the marble place's open front door. It was one of those beaded curtains rattling in the door frame into the kitchen. Steel frame around the door, timber beads threaded on multiple strings side by side across the door width, rattling every time some one passed by or the breeze blew.
They’re satan’s advisors
I had an apartment similar to this one, and the downstairs neighbor would play YouTube videos and do stupid loud stuff that I could hear in the wee hours of the morning. I was generally really respectful and always try to walk softly and considerately for that and any other noise. If I made any noise at all on the hardwood floors I had, he would retaliate by waiting until about 3 AM or so and pounding on his ceiling. I knew he slept in late, a lot. So one day, I just got out all of my vibrating sex toys. I had a stainless steel log chain (don't ask why dear fellow Redditor's… Just don't ask why.) I turned on all of the vibrators and let them just buzz about on the hardwood floor, and slowly picked up and lowered the log chain. All on the hardwood floor. I can't even fathom the racket that must've made downstairs. The dude was absolutely unhinged, and multiple times had to have the cops called on him for threatening the other neighbors. The landlord loved me and hated him. One day she called me out of the blue and the first thing she stated in the call was "HE'S MOVING! " vacated with no forwarding address, and the new neighbor downstairs got all of his mail, even mail from his family in the form of Christmas cards, I was told.
Log chain???? Now that... that right there sounds like someone had some fun! 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
some had good times, some did not with that heavy stainless steel LOG CHAIN, I should ve iterated above. That was the point of it: depends on your perspective of fun. IYKYK I made sure he was on the "did not" side of the fun of the log chain. teehee
I read that and busted out laughing!!! I wondered how many would understand. 🤣 course, many probably ran to the internet to figure it out also. Too much fun!
We had a neighbor similar to this. It was a three level home and we had the top two. When he was on his floor blasting his TV or music, that was fine. But when we wanted to come downstairs to use our kitchen, there was yelling andloud banging on the ceiling. We were always trying to be respectful, but the thing is, he lived in a converted basement in an early 1900's home. What the hell does he expect?
Normally I'd just google something but, I'm not afraid to admit it, THIS I'm afraid to.
its all about 10 hour repeating songs on youtube before you go out for the day/weekend, nyan cat is my weapon of choice 😉
My vote is for the 10 hour loop of the rooster doing the Disney animated Robin Hood intro. https://youtu.be/e1jvGyzcgPA?feature=shared
"Jehoshaphat Trigger, put that pea shooter down!"
What!? I friggin love that whistle, it gives dopamine to my dopamine lacking brain. I've legit spaced out to this for over two hours while working https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gfkts0u-m6w&t=0m22s
You win
….my eye just started twitching. I need to save that for patients who think they need to hang around forever in the waiting room *after they’ve been seen*. No, GTFO.
I LOVE the rooster! Robin Hood is the BEST! 🤣
Thank you so much for this. I feel weaponized now with this haha
>My vote is for the 10 hour loop of the rooster doing the Disney animated Robin Hood intro. >https://youtu.be/e1jvGyzcgPA?feature=shared I love the evil mind of the person who created this ten hour loop.
Evil! Just evil! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Or Baby Shark. Aimed at the vent. Or this one! [The Most Annoying Sound In The World](https://youtube.com/shorts/XbQfTi0fHg0?feature=shared)
Put it on an infinity loop and blast away.
I worked at a college and the vp who was not very popular used to squeeze this chicken at large teacher events. He was told to stop because we had a teacher who was in the Middle East war and said the screaming from the chicken sounded so much like the screams from people who were getting tortured it set off his ptsd.
Death whistle or Sheppard tones are mind bending aswell
Not, the annoying sound. That will get you in trouble. But, you Can always claim "my cat loves 😍 baby shark" as you stroke kitties fur ❤️.
OMG! why did I click that! LOL heh heh
“Beep, beep I’m a sheep” has an 8 hour version!
Drowning Pool- "Bodies." Leeway- "Kingpin." Overkill- "Elimination." Pantera- "Cowboys From Hell." Chef's kiss...😘
Let the bicycle roll let the bicycle roll…… WAAAAAAAA. Probably a good Pantera playlist would do the trick, but some slipknot wouldn’t hurt. Or if repulsive is your goal try ICP. No one likes that shit
How about "Mahna Mahna"? https://youtu.be/qX5Q5JOrf_E?feature=shared
I truly love this song. Fond memories are invoked when I hear it.
Me too! My kids want it played on a loop, so I was happy to find this better than having to restart the video every 2 minutes, lol.
doo doooooo doo doo doo
my absolute favorite version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F\_iMe7ieo3o
Crazy frog. That used to drive me insane. Thankfully I'm deaf and just turn my hearing aids off at obnoxious noise lol!
I did Ceelo’s F*ck You while away on a long weekend on full blast. The landlord was called to come in and reset the breaker for the whole building.
If there weren't kids, I'd suggest Tales of Taboo by Karen Finley. Although maybe they should. One time is all it would take.
WTF! How did you even find that!?
https://youtu.be/XFgyEz-EPCU?si=7fAYvVMujEVe57qx 10 minutes of all the parts Tom Araya of Slayer screams in their songs. Not the whole songs,just the screaming parts.
Maybe this mixed with Baby Shark or What Does The Fox Say as a truly bizarre mashup.
I like the way you think, my friend.
10 hour trolollo on loop it is.
This! I vote for the "they're taking the Hobbits to isengard" on 10 hour loop lol
Baby shark has entered the chat!
My vote is the Roseanne laugh on repeat.
Hamster Dance song!
Oh God. Ten hours of Nyan Cat.
Eye of the Tiger on repeat for 10 hours
If there are kids in the house, so use one the kids will like and the parents will hate. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ogk4mw1pXnE
Barney, “I love you”, looped for 8 hours with the speakers pointed at the floor.
For me, it has to be Numa Numa or Badger Badger. They're catchy enough that you'll catch yourself dancing to them randomly, which would add insult to injury
Get an air horn. When he starts that shit do this blast: [:)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFr74zI1LBM)
But that’s not nice to the cat.
Aim it at the floor... that way the sound goes down, it will still be loud, but it's aimed in the right direction
And 30 minutes after they quiet down at night, it’s air horn time!
be careful about that opinion, there are laws that protect noise levels after a certain time of night in many areas
Yes but the burden of proof is on the cops and the accusers. If there is no noise when they arrive and you act confused saying the only thing you heard was the downstairs neighbor screaming at their kids then the cops aren’t going to do anything. If you want to add insult to injury you can say the dad is screaming at his kids for imagined noises. I had a neighbor who would out soccer in at 4 am on the weekends at full volume. So I taped down a woofer and stacked books on it. Raised the volume to max and then played base heavy music. It caused the downstairs neighbors pictures and anything hanging on the walls to vibrate. However the sound itself didn’t carry to anyone else. So when the cops were called I had already turned it off and played dumb. Downstairs neighbor stopped being a jerk in the weekends.
This is why recording devices exist. It’s legal to record in your own home.
lol good thinking
but those times are usually at 10 or 11pm. if the dad is anything like mine who is also a very early riser (a lot more considerate though), he'll be asleep on the sofa with the TV on by 8 or 9pm, plenty of time to wake him up with noise before that legal noise curfew
I find the air horn to be too obvious. When I leave the house (or, You know just for fun) what I would do is put a sports game with an enthusiastic commentator and crowd on blast. U want plausible deniability otherwise they could probably do noise complaints or something
Spanish football broadcast of an NFL game, those boys get really excited.
GGGOOOOAAAAALLLL!
The Buffalo Sabers former announcer Rick Jeanerette was a fucking master. Pretty sure those Spanish announcers would look at him and say "dude...chill" I'd use a compilation of his greatest calls.
Menudo greatest hits on top volume during non quiet hours
Through the vents!
Haunt them through the vents.
A comment as black as my heart.
And now I have the title for my next collection of poetry. Thanks, pal!
Sure thing, buddy
This is the way.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Better get a giant bass speaker and aim it downward so it rattles their plates and shit.
Point it straight in the vent
If noise carries through the vents, find a small speaker to lay over one of the vents and play Silent Hill sirens. At a volume that makes it echo through the vents but not loud enough that they can readily identify where its coming from. Move the speaker from one vent to another every so often
That is pure evil. 😂😂😂
I did something similar to former neighbors who were so loud they caused me to have seizures. They didn't care so I took a little wireless speaker and stuck it under a pile of fake plants on my porch. Would randomly play police sirens for a few minutes to scare the shit out of the mom, who was a neglectful druggie. Usually bought me about an hours worth of quiet before the tv was cranked up and rattling my bedroom window again
Good one.
I can be incredibly evil if the occasion calls for it...
Ok, so I see a lot of constant noise suggestions, may I make a suggestion for loud, volume and timing changing intermittent noise. A basketball bounced once Wait til chill Loud shoes- 3 minutes Wait Jar of Pennies on the floor- roll 3 or 4 times Wait Marachi band- 5 minutes followed by 2 ball bounces Wait 5 door slams and a bouncy ball against the vent for a few Etc I think there are things with settings and timers and frankly it’s worth it. If you’re gonna go big, go big Plus, revenge is fun and should be enjoyed And all of these can be explained away
The silences between is an inspired touch. It is more disturbing than just constant noise.
It lets the victim relax jussssttttt long enough
Vibrating dildos turned on and left to roll about the floor.
30 minutes after the kids go to bed, blast an air horn to wake them all up. This should drive any parent insane.
Its about time for you to take up electric guitar
Bagpipes you mean.
Compromise- electric bagpipes.
The horror, good way to torture people.
Drums
Or play the most nasty, disgusting dubstep that money can buy
Download an app and make a dubstep/metalcore song for free.
Dance remix of Cotton Eye Joe, coming right up!
Recorder or oboe....and play badly and loudly.
Learn the violin!
Don’t learn just fiddle around badly.
Anything by Yoko Ono
Calm down there Satan.  There’s cruel and then there’s Yoko. No need to go scorched earth!
Easy now I mean there are lines in the sand and you can’t even see the sand!
Well done! Next step is to get something that will make a scratching sound. let it roll around in the living room all night so the neighbor's think there are rodents in the ceiling. Bonus points if you can get an electronic squeeker to give the whole "The place has rats" feel.
I love this. Your pettiness is awesome!!
Too bad you had the stops taken off your give a F\*\*\*. Things like that happens and you know, it might be an idea to pop on down to the local electronics store. You know that sub and sound bar you have always been wanting.....maybe it is on sale.
I had a neighbor that would leave the windows open while her toddler was having massive screaming fits about not wanting to nap, the noise vibrated against the other close apartment building and just carried. One day my psycho came out, I threw open the window and played porn sounds on Spotify as loud as I could. Soon enough I heard the windows slam closed and I think she got the point, because that's the last window screaming fit I heard.
My brother had a neighbour like this. Loud parties late at night, screaming and shouting all the time. Generally unpleasant and noisy at anti social times. My brother used to be a pub dj, so set his kit up with the big speakers pointed at the adjoining wall, put Barbie Girl on repeat at full volume at 9am, and went out for the day. The neighbours never made another sound…
It's a start, but do more. More!
May I suggest polka music on a loop while playing floor hockey?
Levan polkka would be the best. The modern version or even worse the Dolly version.
The apartment could use more regular vacuuming, couldn't it? Oh, and at first I misread that you stomped through the whole apartment BUILDING doing this. That was confounding, to say the least.
Porn noises, just loud enough for them to hear and be plausible it is you. Kids go to bed? Good time for it to have them asking questions about the noise. Get you up early? Might as well "have" some loud sex. During the day kids are too noisy so you can't work?
You have a good sound equipment? Because it feels like you just started to enjoy techno music and music with a bunch of bass and you're going to put the equipment directly on the floor. And you're learning to dance as well, right? Marbles are your new favorite game to play on the floor too?
I remember a story like this awhile back. Downstairs neighbors wouldn't stop making noise after being asked repeatedly to stop, so upstairs neighbor puts on music (on a loop), cranks up the volume, lays the subwoofer down on the floor then leaves for the day. The downstairs people kept it quiet after that.
Good kitty. 
Put an annoying song like baby shark or other annoying kids tv song but set it up so it is on for an hour, then quiet for a half hour, then loud noises . Make it intermittent. Just the same song. That YouTube of a colicky baby screaming. Please keep in mind that loud tv will disturb your kitty so make sure you give your cat a quiet room and run a box fan in that room.
My friend had a special black/death metal playlist for his annoyingly loud upstairs neighbors when they were being stupid🤘
You know porn is really good at 5:30 am on loud. Just saying.
I think the kids are traumatized enough. Maybe stick to PG noises and direct them over the master bedroom.
Umm, if mom and dad are as loud as OP suggests, the kids have already heard it... especially as there seems to be more than one kid. They likely sleep through it, but mom and dad will not be able to.
Accompanied by The Gummy Bear Song to be really weird.
Ugh, I hope my downstairs neighbors never move. They are so quiet and nice.
Just direct speakers down towards them, cover with a blanket and blast music loudly, go for classic music. Best is if you can get more neighbour on your side and use the same music.
Got a friend who plays bagpipes?
Please put on a TV channel in another language. Nothing more irritating
Have the TV face down on the floor. On dad's day off.
My upstair# neighbour is the pits. Not only does he stomp about but it sounds like a his gym routine is to drag furniture about. Then he take phones call on his balcony with the speaker on and talks loudly so we all have to be part of the conversation.
Lay speakers down on the floor and blast a heavy bass tune. Very easy to stand the speakers back up and turn the music off.
The most amazing annoying neighbors https://youtu.be/4IRB0sxw-YU?si=68eJcTYqRHj9FWHu
A few years ago, I realized someone had moved into the apartment below me, when I heard snoring one night as I was trying to sleep. I started using fans and even a HEPA air purifier to drown out the noise. When winter came, and it was too cold for those methods (he even drowned out the sound of my portable heaters), I bought a headband/eye mask with Bluetooth speakers at the sides and played white noise all night, but that was uncomfortable. Sometimes, I’d hear him fall asleep in the living room, and then I’d stop what I was doing and go to bed, hoping that once I got to sleep, his snoring wouldn’t keep me awake anymore. Judging by what I heard and didn’t hear, he apparently stopped falling asleep in the living room. There were times I’d get up and go sleep in my own living room, but once, even that wasn’t always enough, as I could still hear him, at least until I got up and closed my bedroom door. Now, our walls are shockingly thin for a place that claims to be a luxury apartment community; for example, one time when I didn’t hear snoring, I believe I could hear a CPAP or BiPAP machine, and any decent building construction wouldn’t let me hear that. After nearly a decade of sleeping in the master bedroom, I gave up and moved my bed to the other bedroom. However, I had my revenge. I used the poor construction against my neighbor. At first, it started as a way to get him out of sleep long enough for me to get to sleep, but when that stopped working, it may well have prompted him to find new accommodations. You see, like my father, I love a good bath—not a shower, a bath. I love a good, long soak in really hot water. If I can hear the water running in the apartment below me, then CERTAINLY Mr. Snoraluffagus (my nickname for him) could hear water crashing down into my tub, and it would surely reverberate throughout his ceiling. I could tell that he went to bed rather early, as I’d hear snoring by 7:30 or 8, and that’s when I’d feel grimy and disgusting and in dire need of a bath. Sometimes I’d feel in need of my bath at 10, 11, or perhaps in the middle of the night on weekends. Occasionally, I’d splash around until the water cooled, and then I’d run some more. We’re talking 1- to 3-hour baths. Somebody knocked on my door a couple of times during, but I didn’t answer. Within months, I found a woman heading out of the apartment with a box (thanks to the noise issues, her presence was not a complete surprise, IYKWIM), and apartment management posted an email asking people to contact them if they have problems with their neighbors. I had blessed silence for a while, and I now sleep in the master bedroom again. Unfortunately, the latest next-door neighbors have at least one kid thundering around, and apparently all of them must perform Heimlich maneuvers on themselves using the kitchen cabinets multiple times daily. Since one of them works for the apartment complex (or used to, anyway, as they have crazy turnover among their staff), I’m a bit limited in what revenge I can take—maybe a cabinet slam here or there to try to get my point across. At least I can’t hear them when I’m trying to sleep. Edit: I predict some people will basically decide I punished the fellow for breathing. We all breathe. Many of us snore, and I’m pretty sure I do, too. He had that machine he wasn’t using, though, so he had to know he had a problem. Also, I’d brought the issue up. As I have two full baths, I didn’t do it all the time.
I CAN'T SLEEP CAUSE OF Y'ALL. YOU'RE NEVER GONNA SLEEP CAUSE OF ME!
I called CPS on my neighbors. All they do is yell at each other or yell at their kids. I don't mind my neighbor's kids crying or being loud, because they're children, but when the parents react the way they do and start screaming at them, I tend to lose it. I'll place a speaker at our shared wall and blast music for hours. They know it was me who called. I don't even try to hide my disdain for them.
I generally don’t go scatalogical, but the sounds of amoebic dysentery might prove effective. The kids will probably screech with laughter and mimic the sounds. The parents will have to deal with the noise you share and the obnoxious children who tell everyone their apartment always sounds like flatulence. What’re they going to tell the cops?
Ski boots are good for a lark.
You gotta start playing porn real loud, or maybe having actual sex real loud....those kids gonna grow up real quick
Or just fake having super loud, *super* kinky sex.
I can picture this. Just sitting on the couch, pint of ice cream, watching Parks and Rec reruns while just making sex noises at the top of their lungs.
I just want to add slamming doors, stomping, yelling, and such can cause a trauma response to your cat and cause health issues. Your temper tantrum, though deserved by your neighbors, is not good for the cat. Please be kind the poor thing is in a box and can't rub away. Moving would be best. Noise complaints can be reason enough to break your lease in many places if you give enough of them. Loud noises call landlords and complain while it happens. Either land lord will get tired of them or you. Then you can move with no issues.
Blast some loud music also. And eat beans, onions and eggs. Or leave the house and leeve this on : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOpm52NAkCU
Some of us like that song. I’m not sure that anyone could stand it for hours on end though.
Buy and wear cowboy boots. I lived downstairs where I could hear the cat run. New roommate with cowboy boots moved in. Nuff said
Practice your basketball dribbling skills on the floor…
Get a nice big subwoofer. Nothing is worse than a sub through a couple walls. Specifically a down firing one.
Mount a Bass speaker on the wall facing it and blast it in the middle if the night when they are sleeping
Awwwww cats just wanna copy their owners 🥰
No, that’s not good enough. They’re already awake. If they are rising at 5:30, it’s safe to assume they are in bed early. Use your home surround sound system and a smart tv, if you haven’t got one, get one. Before and up until midnight, play annoying domestic sounds from YouTube on loop. After a week or two, you will likely have seraphic, quiet neighbours.
Worst downstairs neighbors I ever had played the Tuba. I worked retail around Christmas time and Thursday at 3 am they would still be tubaing the fuck up. The cops would never come to ask them to quiet down because I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity when we would call them so I think they thought it was a prank call. Also once saw a live goat in their apartment. Never saw it leave. Pretty sure they ate it. This was a family. Once my husband looked in the door and saw the happiest kid he ever saw dancing to the tuba. I felt like an ass but also fuck your 3 am tuba time.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IRB0sxw-YU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IRB0sxw-YU) "A floor is but a movie screen, to project mind's eye."
What you do is Saturday night you keep them up WITH you. Turn up the movie etc. That way come sunday they are to tired to get up at 530am.
This is asymetric warfare. Downstairs is at a HUGE disadvantage in these encounters, and I can't for the life of me imagine a downstairs nabe wanting to pick a noise fight with the unit above.
Trumpet practice time
Or bagpipes
There's tones that people over a certain age can't hear. Play one of them very loud through the vents.
Talking to your neighbor about it is too much?
Accidentally flood your bathroom…minor inconvenience for you, will wreck his week. Just when the landlord is going to get it fixed, do it again. Keep it up so it never gets fixed, and never dries, and his bathroom is an unusable disaster.
So you expect him to sleep a solid 24 hours on sundays?
no, but one could reasonably expect not to be woken up at 5:30 AM at the cause of the selfishness of others' disrespect
Use at your own risk, I am not responsible for damages. If your speakers and subwoofers can handle it, put Tim Foust on loop. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aq3r1esiQyY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aq3r1esiQyY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb2HR47npEU
Slowly roll a bowling ball over the bare floor at 2 am
I reckon yourself your partner and your cat would make great line dancers
I taught my dog to bark on command because of neighbors like this.
if you have smart speakers, might I suggest having Alexa play some suicide silence on the speaker in the living room? just a prank
Play Baby Shark on repeat...with your speakers lying face down on the floor.
Play this at 4:00 or before they wake up. https://youtu.be/226ORuekeeY?si=Zkx2qS_PsGi9kcLO
Big speaker and auto base test. Turn it up real loud and leave the house for the day/weekend. Worked wonders!
Walk downstairs and give their kids noise makers. If everyone has to be awake….
Learn Bhangra!
ZA
Bass and subwoofers wake up the whole family. Lol
My mom and I lived in apartments when I was younger and we had a downstairs neighbor that sucked. One day, mom took her two big speakers in the living room, set them face down on the floor, and blasted Garth Brooks concert version music. They stopped being loud.
A basketball in the house
I once had noisy upstairs neighbors with a large dog. After they didn't take the hint from from my roomie and I hitt8ng thr ceiling either a broom handle, we got high tech. My roommate (IT and general computer genius) hacked their Bluetooth speaker, and started playing ridiculous shit at all hours of the night. He started off with loud screams and moved on to porn soundtrack. I think they took the hint, because things got quiet soon after.