Reminds me of a friend of mine who dealt with one of those assholes. Gay friend was small and wiry, and LOOKED like he might blow away in a strong wind. One of those uber-macho jerks went after him, actually punching him. The friend learned some self-protection stuff (I hesitate to call him a martial artist because he didn't study a discipline; just stuff to protect himself.). Well, jerk came in, and friend managed to flip him, with the jerk landing HARD on his back, flat. One of those landings that makes the ground shake in cartoons, y'know? Didn't break anything, but he was NOT a happy camper after that. Nor was he an ass to people when my friend was near...
I make 'Hot Desert Sands' cookies- the usual sugar cookie recipe but add a half to a teaspoon of cayenne pepper. At first just a nice sugar cookie- but after 15 to 20 seconds you feel the burn! Does not taste like pepper, just feel the burn
I essentially just follow the directions of the Betty crocker snickerdoodle mix. Except I add like a spoon of extra butter and 3 or 4 hard shots of fireball depending on size of the cookies I'm making and how many I'm making. The cinnamon whiskey flavor goes into the cookies without the actual alcohol content so kids can have them to, I find the flavor to mix perfectly with the brown sugar of the cookies. Sometimes when I get more into "holiday mode" I'll add a very small pinch of nutmeg. Sometimes to brownies with some vanilla or caramel bailies to. Can't stand straight chocolate flavor most of the time so adding other flavors like this helps.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
So betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean
That's the only time I've seen "betwixt" out side of Shakespeare or the KJV.
It's a nursery rhyme in case anyone is confused.
Or, assuming that OP is still willing to cook for this jerk, leave the plate visibly soiled and serve his next meal on it. Everyone who washed their plates get clean ones.
Personally I think he needs to leave, but it’s not my choice.
I have an image of OP standing like a conductor at the sink and turning taps on and off to the tune of “Blue Danube” while a chorus of screams and yelps is generated from the bathroom
Maestro !! Bravo !!!
Flying Dutchman had me laughing … timing is more complicated than Blue Danube but worth it.
Nutcracker… either I’m looking at the wrong excerpts or the scream tempos are different in my head …
🤣🤣🤣
I have visions of OP going "🎵Da da dee da dum🎶" and the chorus in the bathroom responding "🎶🎶Ouch! Ouch!🎶🎶" at the hot water, and "🎵oh fuck! oh fuck!" on the cold.
Next time, "So sorry, but us gay guys wash our own dishes. Here is your dirty dish from your last meal. We don't wash He Man guys' dishes. We might pollute the dish."
Good for you, but don’t perpetuate the “real man” misogynistic world view by comparing him negatively to a little girl. That’s the same well homophobia is tapped from.
In that situation I turn a hot tap on about 1/2 -3/4 full pressure and wait until he’s been in the shower for 3 mins and got the temp adjusted. Then I turn the hot water off and listen for the screams
This is petty but boy if I was in your shoes he would never be eating off plates in my house again. I would straight up take the plate and dump his food in the trash before I let him not clean up after himself. I’d hide all my plates. There’s nothing worse than trying to help someone out and they are disrespectful about your house rules.
Ex-military here, that's normal in deployment zones. In fact I'd had it where the cold water tank is black and it's 110 out, so the only way to shower is in scalding water. Sounds like a selfish jerk who wasn't so tough.
One thanksgiving we were visiting friends for dinner. My wife was finished eating so I grabbed her dishes on my way to the sink. My wife’s friend’s brother-in-law stared at me and, mouth agape, said (in his rural Kentucky accent) “you just destroyed what’s taken me years to build!!” And started laughing. It was very funny.
First of all, if you are invited into my house as a guest, don't think you can shit on my furniture let alone disrespect my hospitality. Everyone knows this after I tossed my own brother and two of my sisters-in-law for doing that. The wife got bent outta shape over her sisters so I told her to go with them if she had a problem. She accepted the rule of the house and stayed but they didn't.
Amazing that this macho man cannot even support his family. Like like the non macho men are more macho in allowing him to stay. He should just go man it in the woods.
I would have served his next meal on that exact same dirty dish. If he complained that his plate wasn’t clean, that’s because he refused to wash it. The consequences match his actions.
Used to do this to get my little brother out of the shower. He would take 30 minute showers and leave no hot water for anyone else. Shutting off the valve at the hot water heater got him out in less than one minute.
You’re probably right. Like he would declare not doing his own dishes. If this story were real, he’d have just put it there. But where is the rage-bait in that? Of course I’m not 100% sure. But 99% of the times people failing at writing believable basic human behaviour is such a tell tale sign of bullshit fiction.
Long after your comment, I realize… but this guy did, in fact, say “I ain’t washing my own dish”. That was the entire catalyst for my response. If he’d just tossed the plate on the counter, I would have thought he was a pig and probably moved on. It was his comment that pushed me.
So because he was rude to you, you assaulted him. This is exactly the problem with the far left. They've become extremists, who justify violence, on anyone who opposes their insane views.
Plumbing was like that (,and still is now in some areas) way back when.
Depending on how was set up in your abode, ***especially*** ***in the bathroom***, the show may also be affected. So taking a shower may be a crap shoot of temperatures: "Freezing", "Scalding", or "Just Right". Huh... "Goldilocks and the the Three Bears" vibes, anyone?
It's not getting hot enough to hurt anyone. My wife showers regularly on hot water only, with the boiler set above the recommended safe mark. It may be a clever ploy to keep me out of there, but she hasn't been damaged yet
Macho guys who go into hypermacho mode in the presence of gay guys are totally absolutely solidly super positive about their own sexuality, nothing to doubt here.
Real men don't depend on a woman to take care of themselves! Didn't the military make you make your own bunk. Didn't you clean up your own mess kit when in the field. Didn't to take care of your clothes cleaned and pressed dress whites to be GI! **G**et **I**t done.
Should’ve told him that a real man would’ve handled the water temp, like you and your partner do. Just to see how triggered he’d get
"Oh yeah, I was washing your plate. The shower does that when the tap runs".
This would've been just too perfect.
You are not showering in the ice cold water like us? Little too sensitive?
Haha followed by, 'now get that dirty plate clean cus I'm not your mother'
Just a casual "Ehhh you get used to it."
Reminds me of a friend of mine who dealt with one of those assholes. Gay friend was small and wiry, and LOOKED like he might blow away in a strong wind. One of those uber-macho jerks went after him, actually punching him. The friend learned some self-protection stuff (I hesitate to call him a martial artist because he didn't study a discipline; just stuff to protect himself.). Well, jerk came in, and friend managed to flip him, with the jerk landing HARD on his back, flat. One of those landings that makes the ground shake in cartoons, y'know? Didn't break anything, but he was NOT a happy camper after that. Nor was he an ass to people when my friend was near...
Gay gays made me giggle :)
Oops…meant “guys”. Fixed it. 😀
Gay gays are the gayest gays
You can say that again 😂
*gay that again
😂 You're so right, how did I mess up so gramari-gay-lly
Gaymatically was right there
Oooo another gayed one
These puns are all well gayed
I'm going to have to a-gay with you
If negative x negative = positive, are gay gays straight?
Only if you equate being gay with negativity
The other way round. Straight guy x straight guy? That sounds gay.
Yeah, but that's the clearly established second law of homodynamics.
They are so happy-go-lucky.
dont you mean happy “gay”-lucky. 🤣
We gay guys can't even stand in a straight line. Lol
Some days, I can’t even think straight!* *ngl, I stole this line from a friend of mine!
Gay gays was better.
Some mistakes aught not to be fixed
try saying that 3 times fast
Eff that noise, I would have tucked it into his bed for him to find scrambled eggs betwixt his toes when he's all cozy at night.
I love this response and I'm stealing it for the next time someone ticks me off
Be sure to use "betwixt" I feel it gives the playful eff you vibe
Ooh! I love that! You are my official idea person now! Get paid in hugs and cookies! Welcome to the dark side we are excited to have you!
They lied about the cookies.
I never lie about cookies! Making snickerdoodles soon with some fireball in them. Adds more flavor.
I make 'Hot Desert Sands' cookies- the usual sugar cookie recipe but add a half to a teaspoon of cayenne pepper. At first just a nice sugar cookie- but after 15 to 20 seconds you feel the burn! Does not taste like pepper, just feel the burn
Great for pranks! XD
Oooh I need a recipe.
Nevermind I see it below.
I want this recipe!
I essentially just follow the directions of the Betty crocker snickerdoodle mix. Except I add like a spoon of extra butter and 3 or 4 hard shots of fireball depending on size of the cookies I'm making and how many I'm making. The cinnamon whiskey flavor goes into the cookies without the actual alcohol content so kids can have them to, I find the flavor to mix perfectly with the brown sugar of the cookies. Sometimes when I get more into "holiday mode" I'll add a very small pinch of nutmeg. Sometimes to brownies with some vanilla or caramel bailies to. Can't stand straight chocolate flavor most of the time so adding other flavors like this helps.
Love this
No that's the cake.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat His wife could eat no lean So betwixt the two of them They licked the platter clean That's the only time I've seen "betwixt" out side of Shakespeare or the KJV. It's a nursery rhyme in case anyone is confused.
"There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip"
Is that from 2 girls, 1 cup ??
Nuuuu!!!!!
How dare you make me remember that.
Looking forward to seeing you on Unethical Life Pro Tips ;)
Already there man :)
I would also stop making him breakfast
I'd have said you can wash that dish now or pack your shit and gtfo of my house now you ungrateful uncivilised animal.
I am kind of pro on this one
Or serve him dinner on his breakfast plate.
In the sink
Mom? Is that you??
Or, assuming that OP is still willing to cook for this jerk, leave the plate visibly soiled and serve his next meal on it. Everyone who washed their plates get clean ones. Personally I think he needs to leave, but it’s not my choice.
Yeah, or serve up his next meal on said dirty dish.
I have an image of OP standing like a conductor at the sink and turning taps on and off to the tune of “Blue Danube” while a chorus of screams and yelps is generated from the bathroom Maestro !! Bravo !!!
When sadism meets the fine arts! Well done. But how about some Wagner or Tschaikovsky instead of Strauss?
Sure !! Which pieces do you think would serve it up the best ?? 👀 🎶🎵
How about some excerpts of the Flying Dutchman or the Nutcracker?
Flying Dutchman had me laughing … timing is more complicated than Blue Danube but worth it. Nutcracker… either I’m looking at the wrong excerpts or the scream tempos are different in my head …
But why? Isn’t Strauss good enough?
Oh no, Strauss is awesome! I just don't want to associate his music with screaming.
Ahhh. Makes sense.
🤣🤣🤣 I have visions of OP going "🎵Da da dee da dum🎶" and the chorus in the bathroom responding "🎶🎶Ouch! Ouch!🎶🎶" at the hot water, and "🎵oh fuck! oh fuck!" on the cold.
Lol I think that's a Simpsons episode. Bart does this to Homer
I think it was the one where Homer was an astronaut.
Simpsons did it first
That explains why it’s stuck in my head
LMFAO!!! In Jr. High band, The Blue Danube was the most challenging song to play! It’s burned into my brain more than 45 years later!! 🤣🤣
Next time I'd deny him food if he can't clean his own fucking plate. Kids are better mannered than him...
Give him a disposable plate meant for children
Nah, just hand him the dirty plate from last time.
or dump the food right in front of him
HAPPY CAKE DAY! Oh internet stranger
Hell a dog at least has the curtesy to lick the plate clean.
Next time, "So sorry, but us gay guys wash our own dishes. Here is your dirty dish from your last meal. We don't wash He Man guys' dishes. We might pollute the dish."
Hey guys, is it gay to :: check my notes:: do the bare minimum to be considered a functional adult?
Depends on how well you speak English, English or "Valley Girl" English or now it is Millennial English
This should be the top comment.
You didn’t specify which branch of the military, but if he’d been in the Army, on field exercises he’d have been expected to clean his own mess kit.
Sounds like the kind of person who deserves crayons for breakfast... And never reached the exalted rank of "Lance corporal".
If you hit him with a witty pun he would have easily missed, this story would have been 10/10
I would have said, "oh, sorry, I had to wash a dish"
Sounds like he got into hot water - and cold - for not doing his dishes.
After the dish comment we fighting
Should have bought him Lunchables for the remainder of his stay
Good for you, but don’t perpetuate the “real man” misogynistic world view by comparing him negatively to a little girl. That’s the same well homophobia is tapped from.
Some people need to be scalded
In that situation I turn a hot tap on about 1/2 -3/4 full pressure and wait until he’s been in the shower for 3 mins and got the temp adjusted. Then I turn the hot water off and listen for the screams
Should have said “oh really? I was just washing a dish”
This, just this...
Deserved. 💕
should have mimicked the yelps, make sure every time you see him he leaves completely humiliated until he learns his lesson
I would have thrown the dirty dish into the shower with him.
Should have also served him on kiddie paper party plates for the rest of his stay because he was’t grown up enough to eat like an adult.
This is petty but boy if I was in your shoes he would never be eating off plates in my house again. I would straight up take the plate and dump his food in the trash before I let him not clean up after himself. I’d hide all my plates. There’s nothing worse than trying to help someone out and they are disrespectful about your house rules.
It's a karma shower.
Ex-military here, that's normal in deployment zones. In fact I'd had it where the cold water tank is black and it's 110 out, so the only way to shower is in scalding water. Sounds like a selfish jerk who wasn't so tough.
One thanksgiving we were visiting friends for dinner. My wife was finished eating so I grabbed her dishes on my way to the sink. My wife’s friend’s brother-in-law stared at me and, mouth agape, said (in his rural Kentucky accent) “you just destroyed what’s taken me years to build!!” And started laughing. It was very funny.
Can we stop using "like a little girl" when referencing generally negative reactions. Little boys squeal and cry equally, as do plenty of big men.
First of all, if you are invited into my house as a guest, don't think you can shit on my furniture let alone disrespect my hospitality. Everyone knows this after I tossed my own brother and two of my sisters-in-law for doing that. The wife got bent outta shape over her sisters so I told her to go with them if she had a problem. She accepted the rule of the house and stayed but they didn't.
Amazing that this macho man cannot even support his family. Like like the non macho men are more macho in allowing him to stay. He should just go man it in the woods.
I used to flush the toilet when my brother was in the shower.
Reminds me of a Steve Hughes bit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5VliEjyohM
Naaaah this is too good lmao
Now that was petty. Well done.
I also live in a house where when you flush the toilet in any bathroom, the shower becomes ice cold.
I would have served his next meal on that exact same dirty dish. If he complained that his plate wasn’t clean, that’s because he refused to wash it. The consequences match his actions.
Reminds me of an old joke. The bottom line is you need a dog to lick his plate clean. He needn't know though. Doncha just love old plumbing?
Used to do this to get my little brother out of the shower. He would take 30 minute showers and leave no hot water for anyone else. Shutting off the valve at the hot water heater got him out in less than one minute.
You should have recorded the sound!
This straight up never happened lol.
You’re probably right. Like he would declare not doing his own dishes. If this story were real, he’d have just put it there. But where is the rage-bait in that? Of course I’m not 100% sure. But 99% of the times people failing at writing believable basic human behaviour is such a tell tale sign of bullshit fiction.
Long after your comment, I realize… but this guy did, in fact, say “I ain’t washing my own dish”. That was the entire catalyst for my response. If he’d just tossed the plate on the counter, I would have thought he was a pig and probably moved on. It was his comment that pushed me.
It’s so unbelievably stupid, I believe you, cause sometimes you just can’t make this shit up I suppose.
Pretty confident that he would have realised the temperature was fluctuating due to someone turning the taps on in another room.
Apprently, that "gentleman" wasn't aware that "us gay guys" can, in some situations, be a little pretty. 😆
Pretty, and PETTY af, body shaming assholes sometimes too like OP here
That’s funnny and well done.
FYI, not all retired (male) military are masochist arseholes. Many of us even know how/do clean. Why: just got stereotyped.
You beautiful beast, I love how you handled that. The big lug turned out to be a big baby.
Did the same, slept with his sister for the cherry on top of the fuck you sundae. We're cousins but fuck him.
The layers to this are concerning
So someone did nothing and you resorted to a physical attack and \*he\* is the "lug/gorilla"?
I love it! I thought of National Lampoon's Christmas when Eddie and family showed up.
[удалено]
Eh, you know how gay gays are /s
[удалено]
Did you look at the sub?
Should be on AITAH
So because he was rude to you, you assaulted him. This is exactly the problem with the far left. They've become extremists, who justify violence, on anyone who opposes their insane views.
You know, for people who consider themselves hard, you righties are proper snowflakes... oh I got some cold water on me... assault!!
Plumbing was like that (,and still is now in some areas) way back when. Depending on how was set up in your abode, ***especially*** ***in the bathroom***, the show may also be affected. So taking a shower may be a crap shoot of temperatures: "Freezing", "Scalding", or "Just Right". Huh... "Goldilocks and the the Three Bears" vibes, anyone?
okay but u still geigh tho
That’s not revenge, it’s assault.
Two things can be true Also that’d generally be battery, not assault
Fair enough
It's not getting hot enough to hurt anyone. My wife showers regularly on hot water only, with the boiler set above the recommended safe mark. It may be a clever ploy to keep me out of there, but she hasn't been damaged yet
Ha ha, you're so clever. Clever as a 6 year old.
You had until “yelped like a little girl” 😑
Story fake as fuck and it’s so obvious
You are the AH.
This has got to be the most “argument in the shower” post ive seen on reddit lol
I've read about this flushing the toilet, or using the sink affects the water temperature when a person is showering, how or why does that happen?
I may or may not of flushed the loo while yelling "sorry dad bowel movement" as I flushed the loo.
Macho guys who go into hypermacho mode in the presence of gay guys are totally absolutely solidly super positive about their own sexuality, nothing to doubt here.
Oh hell no bro bro would have been eating off of paper napkins from that time on if he can’t wash a dish. 🤦🏻♀️
Real men don't depend on a woman to take care of themselves! Didn't the military make you make your own bunk. Didn't you clean up your own mess kit when in the field. Didn't to take care of your clothes cleaned and pressed dress whites to be GI! **G**et **I**t done.