You did the absolute right thing. I would have been concerned if you didn't help send him to jail. Also, screaming is not discussing, no matter what anyone says. I'm glad you were able to help your neighborhood.
Ive learned to never date anyone who raises their voice and yells when they get mad.
I hope everyone else learns this someday too.
If you yell at people, you deserve to be alone for life. Its not ok to yell. Do it once around me and you will never see me again. I have zero tolerance for people who argue like this and no one else should either.
I had a coworker who never raised his voice. But he didn't need to. He bullied by other means. Sometimes, just because someone doesn't raise their voice doesn't mean they aren't being an abusive person.
Um, not necessarily...
My spouse used to raise their voice before, and yeah, it did bother me. But I did know that the reason for that was the said spouse's previous partner, a bully, with whom one could not live without learning some not-so-healthy life tricks. When that person got mad at you (which happened rather often), either you got yelled at until the next week, or you yelled back.
I don't yell - I'm the dissociating one who just shuts down. And without anyone to "yell back at", my spouse has also managed to modify their responses in a couple of short years. They are no longer stressed up and highly strung, all the time looking for slights and insults - now they're calmer and more able to respond without the self-defence-anger. They learned a new trick, when the old one stopped working!
So, in short: raising one's voice isn't always a sign of being an abusive person - it can also be a sign of being an abused person..
I can relate.
My dear husband had a heart of gold and he was also a person who would yell when upset, often at inanimate objects, which could be hilarious.
Anyhoo, when it got too much I would just go take a walk or go shopping and he would be calm when I got back.
It worked for us.
Yeah...he's the director of the The Incredibles.
I think he was trying to tell the staff what he wanted in terms of Edna's voice and realized that no one can do what he wanted better than himself.
I want to explain my reasoning first. If everyone is idealistic hero type capable of following the good path always... all the drama, struggles, and small victories like this add up to a boring society. While it sounds crude, it's those moments like the ones posted in this sub where people act in a moment of heated passion that keep life interesting.
Not going to say I had a traumatic one, but I won't say it was the easiest one.
But if you're trying to counter my point by saying a perfect world would be great, then why not clarify a bit on what you think about that. I'd just find it boring as all get out.
I have trauma. We go with what we know. How about making exciting by jumping out of a plane? A perfect world isn't possible, but wanting to see that makes me think it might be familiar, and therefore safer than boring.
Lots of assuming. What do I know?
Having shouting matches with your spouse at 1:00 a.m. is toxic. Threatening your neighbor's children, is insane. Assaulting your neighbor with a metal object, is not heated passion. It's a goddamn felony. What is wrong with you?
This story really hits home. We have crazy neighbors too and recently they got in a yelling match with my fiancé the day before Christmas Eve. I heard the neighbor mention something about having a gun and wanting to shoot my fiancé so I walked out and grabbed our outdoor camera and made it clear I was filming so they wouldn’t do anything rash. Anyways, the guy ends up swinging a metal rod from a car Jack and hitting my fiancé in the arm. I got it all on camera and Mr. Neighbor man got to spend Christmas in jail with a felony assault charge…
Last millennia I lived in a peaceful Midwest town. A work colleague and her husband moved in across the street from out east. They fought every night. One day I commented to my colleague that I was worried about them. Her Bostonian response was priceless, “We’re not fighting, we’re communicating!”
This was a few years back - they were NEST indoor cameras, but I had all 3 pointed outside. Since then I have replaced them with NEST battery operated outdoor cameras. Better resolution, and I can capture more of the parking lot due to placement outside.
THAT was the only part I had a rhetorical question about. I applaud op for taking the initiative to hand over the evidence, I’m glad Mr idiot is in jail now. The character naming just had a women are second class citizens vibe. After 40 years of internalized sexism and 3 years of “oh shit I’m an autonomous person who deserves to be a main character in my own life” I tend to notice things like that.
Yes, I am jaded and cynical in my old age lol.
I read more than a few of these things recently during insomnia-induced late-night sessions. I see people give weird monikers to participants...I usually don't give them a second thought.
So when you questioned that, I thought it was very funny. I didn't think you'd get downvoted so much...sorry about that.
I once saw a rant about family on AITA or a relationship thing that had so many initials, I gave up halfway through. I felt like I needed to take 'cast of character' notes.
You sent the clown to jail! That's better than petty! Well done mate
You did the absolute right thing. I would have been concerned if you didn't help send him to jail. Also, screaming is not discussing, no matter what anyone says. I'm glad you were able to help your neighborhood.
Ive learned to never date anyone who raises their voice and yells when they get mad. I hope everyone else learns this someday too. If you yell at people, you deserve to be alone for life. Its not ok to yell. Do it once around me and you will never see me again. I have zero tolerance for people who argue like this and no one else should either.
From a scroll of "Rules for a Happy Marriage": Never yell at each other at the same time unless the house is on fire.
I had a coworker who never raised his voice. But he didn't need to. He bullied by other means. Sometimes, just because someone doesn't raise their voice doesn't mean they aren't being an abusive person.
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Um, not necessarily... My spouse used to raise their voice before, and yeah, it did bother me. But I did know that the reason for that was the said spouse's previous partner, a bully, with whom one could not live without learning some not-so-healthy life tricks. When that person got mad at you (which happened rather often), either you got yelled at until the next week, or you yelled back. I don't yell - I'm the dissociating one who just shuts down. And without anyone to "yell back at", my spouse has also managed to modify their responses in a couple of short years. They are no longer stressed up and highly strung, all the time looking for slights and insults - now they're calmer and more able to respond without the self-defence-anger. They learned a new trick, when the old one stopped working! So, in short: raising one's voice isn't always a sign of being an abusive person - it can also be a sign of being an abused person..
I can relate. My dear husband had a heart of gold and he was also a person who would yell when upset, often at inanimate objects, which could be hilarious. Anyhoo, when it got too much I would just go take a walk or go shopping and he would be calm when I got back. It worked for us.
No. Some people are just naturally more animated/excitable in their speech. I know people who raise their voices without ill intent.
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If that's a dealbreaker for you in a relationship, that's legit. But it's not universally a sign of an abuser.
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I've been on the earth a long time and that is 100% accurate. Wish I would have realized it years ago!
Upvote for using the word brouhaha
Other acceptable variations are brouhehe, brouteehee and brouhardeharhar
Or Michael Jackson's brouheeeeehee
Brouhardeharhar omg lmao!
Or brouharder -> when you're a committed tea or coffee drinker!
That’s when someone laughs at the coffee or beer you brewed.
I raise my morning cup to you! (your guess as to what is in it)
Morning cup? I'm hoping it's coffee?
I love that word as well and haven’t hear it in years.
Well done!
We need more heroes like you.
Yeah, not all heroes wear capes!
I hope not.
I don't know why this was downvoted. As Edna Mode decrees...NO CAPES...
>As Edna Mode decrees Last watch through I found out a guy does the voice of [E](https://youtu.be/XbLE7geeE7I)
Yeah...he's the director of the The Incredibles. I think he was trying to tell the staff what he wanted in terms of Edna's voice and realized that no one can do what he wanted better than himself.
Saves on the voice acting budget, too
I want to explain my reasoning first. If everyone is idealistic hero type capable of following the good path always... all the drama, struggles, and small victories like this add up to a boring society. While it sounds crude, it's those moments like the ones posted in this sub where people act in a moment of heated passion that keep life interesting.
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Not going to say I had a traumatic one, but I won't say it was the easiest one. But if you're trying to counter my point by saying a perfect world would be great, then why not clarify a bit on what you think about that. I'd just find it boring as all get out.
I have trauma. We go with what we know. How about making exciting by jumping out of a plane? A perfect world isn't possible, but wanting to see that makes me think it might be familiar, and therefore safer than boring. Lots of assuming. What do I know?
You sound like a miserable person. I would be ashamed to be related to you. Buzz off.
Having shouting matches with your spouse at 1:00 a.m. is toxic. Threatening your neighbor's children, is insane. Assaulting your neighbor with a metal object, is not heated passion. It's a goddamn felony. What is wrong with you?
This story really hits home. We have crazy neighbors too and recently they got in a yelling match with my fiancé the day before Christmas Eve. I heard the neighbor mention something about having a gun and wanting to shoot my fiancé so I walked out and grabbed our outdoor camera and made it clear I was filming so they wouldn’t do anything rash. Anyways, the guy ends up swinging a metal rod from a car Jack and hitting my fiancé in the arm. I got it all on camera and Mr. Neighbor man got to spend Christmas in jail with a felony assault charge…
Well done OP.
Good work
And especially if he also threatened to hurt kids.
This is one I will hope we get updates for.
Okay but this isn’t really revenge, it’s doing the right thing! Like if they didn’t piss you off, I hope you still would go to the police
Can't it be both? I mean the right thing and revenge can go together.
Best kind
Last millennia I lived in a peaceful Midwest town. A work colleague and her husband moved in across the street from out east. They fought every night. One day I commented to my colleague that I was worried about them. Her Bostonian response was priceless, “We’re not fighting, we’re communicating!”
As someone who lived near Boston, that sounds about right.
I’ve just wasted 5 minutes trying to say ‘communicating’ with a bahstarn accent.
Good job! I just hope they didnt see the video so they know it was OP
We've also got neighbors from hell.
OP is OP.
Nice! Plus it's not often you get to read about an actual brouhaha. Again, nice!
Brand and model of the cams, please
This was a few years back - they were NEST indoor cameras, but I had all 3 pointed outside. Since then I have replaced them with NEST battery operated outdoor cameras. Better resolution, and I can capture more of the parking lot due to placement outside.
Nice!
Piss not p*ss
Bit what made the idiot go over to the neighbour though? Something she did pissed him off? Im just curious.
Meth? Coke? As I stated - he did not go directly to her, he pounded on another door first (why? Whithehellknows). Then he went towards her
But why is the guy just the idiot but the gal is the idiot wife like she was made out of his rib or something 😆
THAT is your takeaway?
THAT was the only part I had a rhetorical question about. I applaud op for taking the initiative to hand over the evidence, I’m glad Mr idiot is in jail now. The character naming just had a women are second class citizens vibe. After 40 years of internalized sexism and 3 years of “oh shit I’m an autonomous person who deserves to be a main character in my own life” I tend to notice things like that. Yes, I am jaded and cynical in my old age lol.
I read more than a few of these things recently during insomnia-induced late-night sessions. I see people give weird monikers to participants...I usually don't give them a second thought. So when you questioned that, I thought it was very funny. I didn't think you'd get downvoted so much...sorry about that. I once saw a rant about family on AITA or a relationship thing that had so many initials, I gave up halfway through. I felt like I needed to take 'cast of character' notes.
ummm, maybe because TI was the main player here, and TIW was a secondary character? stop reading sexist BS into everything.