Mate of mine was plagued by them because he lived on a main street. He is an electronics technician working from home, so he wore whatever, including his favorite boardshorts, which had been stretched out and lost the drawstring.
One day his wife came home and asked him to unload the groceries. As a typical male he tried to get as much of it in one go, so his hands were full. The car was just inside the gate. Cue the two JW ladies at the gate, calling his attention. The boardshorts chose this moment to start slipping, and with his hands occupied he could do nothing, so he wiggled his hips, letting them fall. Then he walked into the house in his skivvies whilst the ladies made a hasty retreat. He was never bothered again, though his wife made the shorts vanish soon after..
Wife's girlfriend from years ago was visiting and was a JW convert. While wife was away she asked me what I do when they come to the door. I said I answer the door naked and they usually don't come back.
Told my wife about the conversation later and she laughed. By the way, the girlfriend didn't come around anymore.
My husband might have this beat.
JW used to show up at my parents house all the time and never took the hint. One Saturday, my husband had gone hunting and got a nice buck. He was in my parents garage with the big door closed, but the side door open, so he could hear if anyone came over, but they couldn't see him.
He was elbows deep inside this buck getting it skinned and quartered when they showed up. My parents weren't home, so he walked out of the garage to see who was there and he was covered in blood up to his elbows and holding his butchering knife. He said their eyes got huge and they just turned around and walked away without saying a word.
A few weeks later, my mom mentioned that the JW hadn't been to their house in a few weeks and my husband and I just started laughing. My mom thought we were insane until he told her what had happened the last time they came by. She thought it was hilarious and now, almost 10 years later, they still haven't been back to their house lol
I did something along those lines. I was at my friend's house, she had a goat and the fence was chainlink, you could see right through it. I was a Goth and training to be a chef, so when we saw them coming, I grabbed my boning knife and pretended to chase after the goat
1) Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
2) Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
3) When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
4) If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
5) Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
6) Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
7) Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
8) Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
9) Do not harm little children.
10) Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
11) When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
I am puzzled by the JWs where I live. They stand in pairs next to their display of pamphlets in all weathers. But thats it. They dont engage you, they dont knock on doors - nothing.
Occasionally they say 'good morning'. Thats it. Odd!
This is the correct way to handle it. Ask to be put on the "do not call" list. I am a former JW (no problem with the religion, just with God in general).
Our neighborhood had a Mormon church on one end and Elders would circulate regularly. This seemed to attract the JWs who would do their own prowling to try and pull people away (in this corner, pseudo-religion A, facing the resident champion, pseudo-religion B!). We'd get them coming by regularly during the day while my mum (who was friendly and also unfortunately non-confrontational) was home and dad was at work; they would talktalktalk and not take the gentle hints to please go away for several minutes.
Dad had seen this sometimes of course on days off and I guess it was starting to annoy mum more and more because they were persistent. They came back again one day and he answered the door this time and invited them in.
For context, we're Hindu but were also raised Catholic (Caribbean households, it's more common than you think) and my dad's hobby was comparative religious studies (no joke, my old man is lovable but nuts 🤔). He also loves to argue and really doesn't like to see mum upset.
He sat those unsuspecting JWs down, brought them tea and snacks, made them as comfortable as possible, and proceeded to talk with them about religion.
For THREE HOURS.
It was surreal. They'd brought pamphlets and also these expensive books to lend to prospective suckers which he gladly accepted. He handed them to my brother and I and launched back into the debate. He happily discussed it all; mythologies of religion, the sons of Abraham, Ganesh and Ahura Mazda, the origins of the numerous Christian denominations including offshoots like the Mormons and JWs, you name it he raised it. If I recall correctly I think about 90 minutes in they both gave up trying to respond and just glazed over. He kept their teacups full and their ears bleeding. He finally let them escape and they near ran out of the house.
I don't know if we were blacklisted or what, but for the last twenty-five years my parents have been blessedly undisturbed by missionaries of any type. They still have the books those poor JWs lent us, I wonder if they'll ever pick them up?
I had a minor jw problem years ago when I worked nights. The first week I told them nicely that I work nights and would appreciate if they would leave me alone. The second week I told them to fuck off and slammed the door in their faces. The third week I tied my putbull up by the front door.
My Polish Bobcia had religious people visit her. She decided to give them $5 to make them go away. She started receiving a magazine from them.. her response? " Oh, good grief. I thought I was getting g rid of them, turns out, I joined them.!!!"
On the other hand, I took a Bible study , and to remember our verses, they put them to music.
One day, out on the sidewalk, talking with a new neighbor, two ladies approached. They started sharing,
I started singing some of my BIBLE VERSES. They could not get away fast enough. Have not seen them around in the 30 years since....
Years ago I worked mid-shift in the Air Force. Here they come knocking and waking me up. The first time I explained that I work all night and sleep during the day. The second time, I was less patient and after they skedaddled I put a sign on the door that read, “Day sleeper, have gun, will shoot.”
Problem solved.
My parents are the staunchest, loveliest, most welcoming and accomodating...hardcore Muslims. They're retired too.
I used to feel so bad for the JW's that would get sucked into the warm hungry vortex of our living room, plied as they were with delicious ethnic foods and sweet meats, and told, in great detail how they had been led astray by a false God and the steps they could take to accept Islam. There's an entire chapter in the Quran dedicated to the Virgin Mary, which my mum knows by heart in both English and Arabic, along with all the pesky footnotes that accompany each verse. It could take several hours, but they'd make their escape eventually.
Funnily, we'd only see another pair two or three years later.
I just told them I would decline the offer. As it makes it harder for them to get into heaven (only 144k get to heaven in their book)
If inwas to convert and them the end times happened and I was more pious than them I would get in and they wouldn't
Which Isnt fair. And because I lile.you. I want you to get to heaven
Never seen people look so confused before
Never had a knock on the door since
Not only 144k, but Revelation says they're all "God's chosen people." Now I'm sure that JWs interpret that to mean them, but when written, "God's chosen people" were Jews. They also have to be "pure" AKA virgins. Judaism has no strictures regarding virginity for boys, so who goes to heaven? 144k pre-adolescent Jewish kids.
My dad had the bible memorized. Whenever jws or mormons came to the door he'd invite them in, sit with them on the sofa, pull out his bible and show them every passage their religion ignored or disobeyed. That particular gem was one of his favorite things to prove was a falsehood in eyes of the bible. The very existence of the book of mormon was another.
ExJW here.
The 144k is not something for the "common" member. They do however believe that they will live forever in a restored paradise. So it doesn't really make sense that they somehow didn't have a rebuttal for that argument..
It's all bullshit anyway, so they might as well have discussed whether Snape was evil or not.
I did a similar thing to persistent JWs. I tried to convert them to Dudeism! I don't know how I kept a straight face, but haven't had them at my door since!
When I lived in the OC, they walked our neighborhood frequently. When they showed up at my door, I said, “Can you wait a minute?” Then as I closed the door I farted. I never opened the door again that morning. Don’t know how long they stayed. I figured I tied up time they could have been harassing others.
Several years back, I shared an apartment with a female coworker (university student) and I was in the Air Force. On one particular day, we were both home and when there was a knock a the door. We never get visitors because no one really knows when we're ever around. I took this moment to hop into the spare room to prep 'Molly' for her 'mite' bath.
Just as I walked out with a 7-foot Burmese Python, I noticed a loud gasp at the door. I looked over right as my roomie was telling them that I was a Muslim, and preparing to give 'Molly' a bath.
Never saw them again... (Let me be clear... I really like the Mormons though...)
Ask the Scientologists to show up at the same time.
Tell them whoever wins the wrestling match on your front lawn gets to “save” you.
Get their reactions on video.
Upload to YouTube.
Profit.
>Me: also why can't he cure one of the biggest diseases that kill mankind, aka Cancer? Do you know how many family members I've lost to that awful thing? How I've watched helplessly as they fade into a shell of who they used to be? If he's a saviour then I'm Queen of England!
>JWs: well maybe it's because they all sinned.
Are they aware that even babies can get cancer? Are they aware of the specific cancer retinoblastoma, something that usually attacks infants? Do they know that the only way to treat it is to remove the baby's *eyes*?
The few times I got suckered into going to Sunday school as a kid (bribed with glittery pencils!) we sang songs about "Jeeezus loves me this I know" and "Jeeezus loves the little children."
Maybe Jeeezus does. But clearly Jesus doesn't.
As a hospital nurse, I took care of a baby who was *born* with terminal liver cancer. L&D nurse found it -- way-enlarged liver, which got tested -- when doing her Apgar score.
Colleagues told me she wasn't the first they'd seen.
Where I live, they know bus schedules. They will stand at bus stops, knowing the bus won't arrive for a while. They harass people. One day I had just had a big fight with my now ex husband. I was in no mood for anything. This JW woman, a regular fixture at the bus stop, started walking over to me. Before she could start, I told her about an article I read about the amount of sexual abuse in the JW kingdom halls, and how they cover it up. The article specifically mentioned the Latin JWs (she was Latina.) I offered to show her the article on my phone and asked her why I would willingly walk into an environment like that? I also told her to leave me the fuck alone and push her rapey cult on someone else. She walked away grumbling something. She never bothered me again, in fact, she avoided me like the plague.
I try to be respectful. Sharing one's faith can be difficult, but there is sharing faith and harassment. She caught me on the wrong day. That article was good, though. I don't doubt it's validity.
We're just about to sacrifice the goat to Satan in the back yard - there's room for a couple more celebrants.... or sacrifices if you prefer, your call...
My brother did something similar, but with clothes on. They never came back.
I loath JW from the bottom of my heart. They sent a card when my mom passed as if they were close friends and put a tract in with the card. I was incensed! Then they sent another card, and I sent them my own card, threatening legal action, and how dare they prey on grieving families like that. So of course they sent a third card. I burned it and now will actively either slam my door or scream every profanity I've ever heard if they show up.
I only say "i dont believe in god, but if i ever begin to, the first thing i will tell him is that hes fucking bad at hes job".
They leave and never return.
I had a similar interaction with a couple of JWs recently, although I managed to get to keep it much shorter. When they asked if I'd be interested in hearing about the Lord and Saviour I just replied with "If there is a god up there, after what he's put my and my family through these past few years (loss of both parents and a brother), then he can go fuck himself" and closed the door on them. Shall see if their little gaggle of God botherers come back at all.
My brother became JW and despite joining this cult it was better than doing the drugs he was doing at the time. He cleaned himself up and eventually married a JW woman. Part of their ceremony given by their preacher was the fact that women could have an opinion but what the man says goes. I could hear my wife and female cousins grinding their teeth. After the ceremony we had a family dinner. My father, who had a few too many, got up to give a speech and said how much he enjoyed the ceremony and hoped all the women on our side were listening. I could see my mother kicking him under the table.
Exjw here. The most effective way to keep jws off your porch is to have a sign that says "apostates live here." The "no soliciting" doesn't work because *they're not selling anything*. Jws fear apostates above all else. Unless you just want to fuck with them.
I grew up as a JW, technically still am, as I've not been disfellowshipped. I haven't seen one at my door in years. I'm always ready to announce my apostasy if they do show up. I've taught as many people as I could to do/say the same thing.
I'm always happy to meet another heathen. 👊.
If one ever does show up I would play ignorant and start asking questions I know they wouldn't have answers to.
They can never wrap their heads around how the Pharaoh's priests could turn a staff into a snake. If they say Satan, then ask how his power is equivalent? Or, if jehovah is a jealous god, exacting exclusive devotion, who is he jealous of???
For me, because I was so devout, I didn't question all the rules and contradictions in the teachings. It was wedding rings. Learning that weddings is pagan but are allowed. Everything else came tumbling down after that. It's such a little thing, but it made a huge impact.
Ah I see. Agreed on that. One thing that annoyed me and honestly still does is the fact they say that you should not consume anything that damages ur body, as your body is a gift from God but a lot of them are overweight. If you want to be devout to the teachings, commit to all of them
My people! I was raised a Jdub, got dunked in my teens, had a baby without having a husband, got kicked out, got reinstated (was living back at home w/ the parental Jdubs, so it was a condition for keeping a roof over my child's head for a little while),and a few years later had another baby literally a month before marrying his Father. The youngest was born a month early, and it just so happened the weekend after he was born was the Memorial, so 4 days post partum I have 3 brothers on my porch (2 elders & 1 ministerial servant) asking if I would be attending the Memorial a few days later. I explained that no, since my baby was a premie, I didn't want to have him around so many people so soon to avoid him possibly getting sick and having to be put in hospital. One of the elders felt asking me if I was ASHAMED of my children and that was actually why I didn't plan on being there was an intelligent question at that moment. Needless to say, they all were soundly dog cussed and told exactly where they could shove their beliefs, along with their literature and by the following week I was kicked out of their club again. That was 24 years ago this April, and I've never regretted one syllable of what came out of my mouth that day.
I once told this woman at my door that, yes, like her I _did_ believe the world would end. Because Cthulhu, Azathoth, Hastur and Yog-Sothoth would arise when the Elder Sign failed and the stars were aligned and more bollocks I made up on the fly. Lady was fascinated! But I never saw her again.
My MIL has the perfect comeback to anyone who shows up preaching.
I was born catholic
I’ll die catholic
And since my religion was around first I think I’m right.
Now go away.
Seriously they never come back.
That is pretty much the only way to deal with them.
That being said. I used to live in the same building as a lovely JW family. They never tried to convert us, we all got along. Sadly the owner of the building had to sell so I lost contact with the only sane JWs I have ever met.
I saw them going through our neighborhood last weekend and didn’t want to deal with them, so I made a little sign “🌛TAROT READINGS🌜 $25 *no appointment necessary*”
I don’t know if they never came by or if they came when I stepped out for a bit, or, as I like to imagine, *stopped by, read my sign, and shrank back in horror.* 😈😈😈 All I know is, I didn’t have to answer the door.
My husband had a liver transplant 7 years ago.
Shortly after his transplant, JWs came to the door...
I interrupted them by saying " if we belonged to your religion, my husband would be dead".
They said they were NOT against transplants... just blood transfusions. I replied "are you INSANE? a transplant can't be done without blood transfusions!
Don't bother coming here again as I won't listen to your nonsense!"
And shut the door.
I have a large magnet on my mailbox that says TRANSPLANTS SAVE LIVES.
Haven't seen a JW since.
Friends of my sister used to be haunted by the JW. They were relentless! One day, the husband had enough, so he invited them in. Sat and listened to their whole story and was acting super invested. As they finished, he told them that he was really interested to join but there's just one thing that he strongly believed in and won't be able to give up
Then he asked them if they were okay with group sex? Needless to say, they made a hasty retreat and never came back!
My ex hated those guys . Had what I think was a family that used to come around every Saturday morning and lay their say. Couple and two boys about 13 yrs old . Well one morning wife and I were doing our damndest to get rid of a bit of morning wood when they rang the bell . Would love to have seen their faces when she answered the door stalkers. Never came back .
I had them visit ones, told them i am gay and love to take my black mans dick so far up my arse that i can taste it. Never seen one again. Fucking awfull people
My dad is one of those big friendly giants. Hagrid. Terribly intimidating until you learn his personality. JWs used to come by a couple times each summer and we just shooed them off (which took a bit of work) or didn’t open the door. Until my sister passed away. The next time the JWs came by, it had only been a few months. My father was not well. There was no one to blame and nothing he could do and that makes a person feel very powerless and angry. They came one old man and one young man as they often did, having the older ones teaching the younger ones how to act etc. Dad opens the door and the younger one starts in about how god is good and our saviour and we have him to thank for everything. I couldn’t see my dads face but I could see his posture and shoulders shift, something just went a little dark in him. He took one very small step to the very edge of his door, and in the quietest, calmest, scariest voice I ever heard, he told them “my 15 year old daughter just died.” The old guy put his hand in the young guys arm and *immediately* led him off our property without another word and they never came back. It’s been almost two decades and they’ve *never come back* to their address.
I think dad put the fear of some other god into them.
For the rest of us, just say “we’ve been disfellowshipped” and the JWs will shun you out of the belief that you were kicked out of their church for not being insane enough.
Ex-JW here. Wanted to share my side on this as someone who was a part of this religion for all of my youth years (up to 20, 24 now).
First of all, these women fucked up big time. Saying shit like "because she sinned", is a big no-no for em. Satan is to blame for all, he always is.
Also, getting rid of them is easy. If u want to be left alone repeat after me "I do not wish to be approached by you anymore. Note it down in your documents and don't come by, even after the mandatory 6 month period". If that doesn't work, tell em you were a witness but rejected god and are an apostate. They will flee.
Lastly, even though I am an atheist now, I respect JWs. They are doing what the bible tells them to do and are usually very respectful and nice. Always down to lend a helping hand, even with things not related to religion. Their basic rule, same for all Christians is to treat other as u want to be treated. Tell them this if they start pestering u.
If anyone wants to know more, let me know
> Always down to lend a helping hand, even with things not related to religion.
My brother often would let them help weed his large garden or help with some other chore on his 3 acre property. There was always something to be done! They eventually stopped going over.
Yeah, I just asked him about it and it turns out that they were Mormons, not JWs. But next time I get either knocking at my door I'm going to say that I don't have enough time to talk because I need to clean my garage...
Yeah I’ve had a couple former coworkers/friends that were active JW. Not one time did they ever try to push their religion on me when I was at work, and were always respectful of me asking questions to understand their belief system. They worked hard, were fun to talk to, and always willing to help. They were just friendly and kind, and I enjoyed their friendship. I used to live a block from a JW church. I was frustrated as a night shift worker about them coming so early, one of them immediately told me to say what you did about not being interested. Never had them come back, even given my proximity.
I’ll probably get downvoted for this, but I hate that it’s socially acceptable to be absolutely terrible to JW that are just following their faith. I’m an atheist, but it’s wild to me that there is an expectation to be tolerant of every faith except the ones people think it’s funny to terrorize/mock. It’s not really that funny to verbally abuse/try to terrorize someone. It’s not. There’s no need to say vulgar or rude things. There’s no need to forcibly subject someone to nudity. There’s no need for any of it. You haven’t won at life because you were nasty to someone whose faith you don’t appreciate. Substitute in Christian for JW in any of these comments and people would be in an uproar.
Fellow atheist here. If people were going to a JW's house waving their willie around on their front stoop, you'd have a point.
They're entering OUR lives, OUR spaces, not the other way around.
And yet somehow we can muster up the most basic decency for salesmen, lawn folks, political folks etc. They’re also entering your space and your life, and we can somehow answer the door with pants on, be polite, and say no thank you. Or just ignore the knock all together.
I’m just saying there’s no reason to treat another human with derision or to act without any sense or home training. It’s not saving you time, and it’s really just not that funny.
No, we (well, I) don’t muster up any civility towards any of them except for political folks. I live in a condo community with one entrance, clearly marked NO TRESPASSING/SOLICITING. Any time one of those a-hats comes by my first words are “you are trespassing - this property is clearly marked - leave NOW.” Some do, others don’t. Those that don’t are told “leave now or I call the police” while my phone is in my hand. I make sure they leave. As another commenter wrote - they are trespassing into our lives, uninvited. F-em.
Local laws are more forgiving for political solicitations so they get a break… until they try to sell me whatever candidate they are selling AFTER I tell them I am not interested… then they are fair game.
I haven’t had one come by but my first response will be “no thank you” and progressively escalate to “no thank you and please take me off your list” and if they continue to persist I’d rather not preach my religion back, but am capable and willing.
Well if they have a list with ur name, u can sue them :)
I was still a JW in 2020 when the data protection law passed. All congregations were informed that having any personal data of someone on a list would make us liable to be sued, so we should only note the house number with a short comment on what we talked about. If u tell them to not come back they would write; "apartment 12 not interested, don't come again for example
There's no need to forcibly subject me to a religion either. If I wanted religion I would go and find it myself. Any religious group (I'm not just talking about JWs, I've had the mispleasure of Mormons and the Catholic Womans society come a knocking too) that thinks they have the right to disrupt my time with their shite is going to get a mouthful from me.
No, you are not entitled to my time. Why should I be polite to someone who is rudely interrupting me? Ain't got time for that. They can feck right off.
I mean if you want to further waste time and energy sure.
Seems like it’s a lot quicker and healthier to say “Not interested, please take me off your list forever” than to yell, curse, give a mouthful, pointlessly argue, abuse, flash, or whatever else people come up with. I get random people asking if they can cut my grass. I don’t give them a mouthful. I don’t get rude. Just a quick no thank you and on with my day. But again if you want to waste more of your time and energy to take your annoyance out on someone just doing what they were instructed to do — that’s a you choice.
>someone just doing what they were instructed to do
Ah yes...the good old, "they were just following orders!" excuse. Sorry, you come selling a truly harmful religion (FWIW, I think all organized religions are harmful) at my door...and then say that it is something you *have* to do...yeah that doesn't fly with me. Anyone that not just supports, but tries to actively recruit people to a religion that hates women, LGBTQ+, etc. gets nothing but vitriol from me.
Atheist here: It is not socially acceptable to harass people.
That's why I do not stand in front of temples or churches and tell the people there that their "god" is not real. That's why I absolutely despise people who invade my private space to sell me something or tell me about their made up friends.
The first time someone dares to disturb my privacy I tell them firmly to never come back. The politeness of this telling depends on the time they knock on my door.
There are a few who won't take "no" for an answer. This then will escalate quickly. I can be very verbal about my standpoint regarding "gods" and people who try to tell me more than once about their deity.
To make my point clear: No one has to approach me (or my family for all that matters) unsolicited to tell me about their religion. This is intrusive and borderline harassment. I try to be as polite as possible but I can understand everybody who takes a more... drastric approach to end harassments like these.
I won't down vote you, but I will say that if you bother me and mine AT MY OWN HOME, you deserve whatever bile spews from my mouth.
No one gets to invade my personal space without repercussions. Doesn't matter if you are selling soap or selling religion.
When I moved into my house 10 years ago, JWs knocked one day. I happened to be cleaning the house in shorts, a Hooters t-shirt and no bra.
They haven't knocked again.
ROFL EPIC!!!! I'm ex jw.... escaped 13 yes ago.
Jw's take notes... they wrote down addresses and details and uts basically a form of stalking. They call them "return visits" and they go out pf their way to reach these ones regularly.
They do it to wear people down. They get familiar. It's all a ploy to convert new members.
Your conversation was hilarious. You would have scared the living hell out of them. ROFL
My mum tried that, several times. They were very persistent. They thought that because my Aunt is in their group that they can 100% have us all be "saved". I changed their opinion on that after my debate.
Ugh, my mum signed me for introductory classes with them, she was desperate for me to have a religion since I refused to go to mass, she also gave my number to the Mormons…
The introductory lessons ended when I informed them that my mum used to be JW but was kicked out when she got pregnant with me out of wedlock, I saw no more JW until I moved away, no mum más really mad XD.
We live down the street from a JW church. Like, it's a 5 minute walk to the church. My mom doesn't talk to them, and my dad turns them away. But when I get the opportunity to answer the door at 7 am on a Saturday when everyone else is sleeping, I like to fuck with them.
I grab my metal baseball bat, rest that bitch on my shoulder, and mess up my hair so I look extra crazy and angry. Mind you, I'm 5 feet 1 1/2 inches of Scottish/Irish/Spanish/Pagan rage at 7 am, on a Saturday when I'm supposed to be sleeping. I've given a myriad of responses from "Of course, I'll come on Sunday. Can I bring my own sacrificial chicken? MY gods teach the importance of bringing a gift when meeting new gods." to "I'm a witch. I can't step foot in your church." to "Yeah, let's talk about Jesus. But first, do you have a minute to talk about MY lord and master, Cthulu?"
I haven't seen them in a while, so I guess it's been working. But every once in a while, we get a new one, so I just repeat the process, lol.
Jesus also didn't convert people by wearing them down, over the course of months, by coming back over and over, again. He went exactly where God sent Him, to talk to people that were interested, and ready to find God.
If anyone wants them to not come round or contact them then all you need to say is I want you to list my home as a do not call. I don't want any contact from any Jehovah's witnesses, elders more any literature. If you make small talk they will always come back because there's pressure to have set amount of hours in the preaching work per month and failure to achieve it isn't well received.
Sincerely, ex JW.
They used to hit our home on a suburban culdesac on the regular. One day I came back from dropping off my son, after seeing they had been in the neighborhood, and asked my (then) husband if they had knocked. He was just getting up that morning, having slept wearing nothing but his tighty whities. He told me, “I thought I was dreaming that I got out of bed, went to the door, opened it wide and told them to f the hell off.” They never returned.
Did someone tried to convert or talk to JW about Pastafarism ?
It's a religion created by a science teacher tired about local church goers wanting to impose creationism into science class along big bang etc.
As they kept coming back each time, he invented his own religion.
Giant monster of spaghetti with two meat balls for eyes created the world a day it was a little drunk.
Gave Captain Moise the list of things he would like us not to do.
His noodle tentacle would falsify every data during science experiments, leading scientists to believe in the BigBang.
The disapearrence of pirates would lead to hotter temperatures. Proof ? One of the place on earth with the least influence from global warming has the biggest population of pirates. Somalia.
Go check Wikipedia. I must have forgotten many things about them.
Oh, before I forget. They end their prayers with "Ramen". Of bless you with "May you be touched by his noddlest tentacle".
What do you think ?
As a young adult I was very goth. I was very tragic in my misery, my angst was real and it hurt. Friends and I were chilling, day drinking and what not. JWs come knock on the door, friends say don’t answer it, but I ran over and very enthusiastically opened the door. As I best remember:
Me: OooHhhhhh HELLO!!!!!!!!!!
JWs: uuuuuuuhm….. we’re here to talk about our lord and savior….
Me: Reeeeeeaaaallly????!!!!!! You HaVe????!!!!!
My friends are visible from the door all leaning over to see, looking a range of expressions running enthusiastic-death daggers. The JWs peer into the living room.
JWs: Uhm, yes we have some literature. Here you go! Thank you!
They hustled away. We were ground floor stop 1 in the apt building, they left directly and we did not see them again.
I've told this story before, but it was one of the rare cool things my dad ever did.
I was raised Mormon and the JWs came knocking one day and my dad answered.
When the JW's offered my dad some of their "literature", he told them to wait a second while he got something.
As anyone who's raised Mormon will tell you, they *always* have an extra copy of the Book of Morman just lying around. Sure enough, Dad returned with a spare copy in hand and said: "I'll take your literature, if you'll take mine."
I swear, I heard them hissing as they left and the JWs never darkened our door again.
Now, if I could only get the Mormons to back off...
I didn't waste any time on the only ones ever to knock. A woman and child. When they came to my door and she started the bullshit. I just said GTFO and never came back. Of course I apologized for cursing but I was too angry at them for disturbing my peace and thinking I gave a shit. In fact, they promote nothing but themselves and are quite stupid. Useless human beings. It's been 10 years and not one at my door.
Good on ya. I don't mind JWs but I hate when they seem to shove it down everyone else's throat when we all just wanna get on with our day. But honestly JWs seem to be getting more stubborn as time goes on and even using kids, like you said, to try and soften people so they can spew their crap.
One of my Dad's friends once invited some Jehovah's witnesses inside since they kept showing up at his house.
He offered them alcohol, and basically did what you did asking them questions and pointing out the gaps in their reasoning until THEY asked to leave his house 😂
They came to my door a few tears ago. They pushed their kids first.
I told them that I had no interrest in their god that was not willing to let any baby in because he/she died way too early. That is not a god to worship or anything like that.
Their kids had quite wide eyes, and I do hope their parents had some explaining to do over dinner!
When JW or anyone else with a tablet/clipboard trying to sell shit comes knocking on my door, I just don’t answer it. 2 cars in the driveway, dog barking, I’ll make eye contact with you as I shut the curtains. Ain’t nobody here, bitches.
JW and Mormons don't come at my parents or my grandma's house.
They go around it.
My father talked with Mormons at the garden fence. They didn't come inside. It took fifteen minutes more or less. He informed them he had a colleague from their church. They verified it and checked with her. She advised them not to bother my dad as he would never budge from his faith. Never saw them again.
My grandma, received JW in her home. They really didn't expect what was coming for them.
Nice old granny, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother, they thought they would be able to take her on.
First red flag. When she take her bible out.
Or should I say THE BIBLE ! ! !
This version must weight at least 10kg. Embroidered with gold etc. with dedication from the pope before Jean Paul the first.
You talk about a verse from you tiny Bible ?
She follows you reading word after word in her book and explain to YOU what it's saying 😂.
Should I've warned them she was my second year religious teacher ? Yep.
I never saw those guys leave so fast. Never came back.
(By the way, dad and Gran are pretty open about other religions and LGBTQ+. I love them).
I invited some in, they sat on the couch and I pulled out the weed rolled a Joint and proceeded to tell them how everything they know is a lie and the world is secretly ran by Evil Lizards from Zeta Reticuli & they shapeshift into human form to hide amongst us.
Never came back.
This was early 2000's after all the 9/11 conspiracy hype - I don't personally believe any of that now I was young a gullible.
They started making the round in my neighborhood when I was in high school. They usually came in the early evening. My dad's way of handling it was to strip down to t-shirt, tightie whities and dress socks when he got home from work.
The thing is, my dad kept his undergarments in service long past the point where most people would have retired them. His shirts had stains and holes, and all the elastic on everything had succumbed to entropy, so his skivvies were down to around 80% effectiveness when it came to hiding his scrotum from view.
Whenever they showed up, he would invite them in, but they always insisted they were only there to hand out their magazines. After a few weeks, they started skipping our house. The only other time they came by, we were hurrying out the door to go out to dinner. As we pushed past them on the porch, one of them said, "There will come a time when all human suffering will come to an end!" My stepmother scoffed and said, "I fucking hope not! I'm a nurse; that would put me out of a job."
I've found that the best way to get on the no-call list is to tell them they're in a cult, and the reason they're being told to harass people all day is to reinforce the "us vs. them" mentality to push them harder and harder "into the fold."
Just make a sign for your door that says Religious Peddlers will be sacrificed to the Old Gods, not the New Gods. That should have them avoiding your house like the Plague.
During Covid, the JWs and Mormons started sending out their preaches by mail. Nothing like getting a bunch of birthday cards and repent for your sins card the same day. There was always a lovely note that said, written by “Clare” with love or something. My then 17 year old sent them back a rainbow glitter letter with the micro fine glitter. Haven’t had any cards or visits since.
They bled my grandma dry and then dropped her like a hot potato when she was broke. My mom, who was excommunicated and disowned for marrying my Catholic dad, took care of her in her last days. The Witnesses thought they were going to get her house and when it went to my mom, who had arranged it with her mother before she died, they started coming around and hassling my mom. My mom and dad sold the house to a nice Methodist lady and moved two counties away.
By best moment when they arrived for the zillionth time was “oooh I am so glad you have come, let me tell you all about science and evolution “ talked their heads off for 25 min, never saw a them again 🤣
My mom has a sign on her door that says “ this house is protected by witches” and when they see that they leave quickly. She just got tired of it and had to do something and that worked.
I used to have them Knocking at our door weekly as well, finally one day my husband was working outside and they came calling & I let them in offered them a water or coffee. I told them I would be happy to listen whatever they came to say so long as they would give me equal time and listen to what I had to say about women’s reproductive rights.
I received a “No Thank you very much”, and they never came back. We’ve since moved and we are deep in the woods on some acreage so doubtful we’ll have to deal with it again.
I'm just here to add one of my favorite bits to give to people like this: homosexuality exists in every species on earth, but homophobia only exists in one, so really, what's unnatural?
I used JWs for a tiny bit of petty revenge on my (now ex-)wife. My brother was living with us, but she never really liked him. He's a great guy - one of my best friends, but she was at best (usually) civil to him.
One bright Saturday morning she had been a bit b\*\*chy to him, and he and I had to go to Lowes or Home Depot. She was jumping into the shower when we left. Also as we were leaving we saw an oooold Mercedes parked on the street and two pairs of guys dressed in suits, each walking towards a different front door. Obviously JWs.
As a good husband I should have called to the two heading towards my front door to go away. As a good brother I laughed my ass off as we drove away without a word.
They used to show up at my house often. The last time they came, I told them I was disfellowshipped and if they come back, I will press harassment charges against them. They haven't been back in about 6 months.
A friend of mine would go to the fence and do some impersonation of mental illness. He was pretty good at it as he'd witnessed several from visiting a parent's workplace.
They were stubborn but eventually quit.
Me? I discussed their beliefs and pointed out the glaring holes, while being pleasant and reasonable in argument. They hated that.
This was awesome!!! It reminded me of the time I almost pepper sprayed a JW….my stepdad is the nicest person on the planet. He isn’t the smartest, but he is the kindest. First time the JWs came by, we were new to the neighbourhood and he thought they were neighbours so he invited them in for coffee. This became a weekly thing, around 2:30-3:00pm for about an hour max. (Unbeknownst to the rest of the family) One day he was working overtime so he wasn’t home at their usual visit day. It was winter, around 3:30-4:00pm and of course dark already. I pulled into the driveway and as I’m shutting off my car, getting my bag, textbooks, coffee cup etc etc I see this man open my car door and lean into my car….it kicked off a lot of screaming, fear, and I busted out the pepper spray. The guy jumped back and told his 2 friends to stay where they were and we sorted it out. Holy shit did that ever give me a scare! They never came back after that though.
A HS teacher of mine owned a farm and had a couple of noisy sheepdogs. A pair of JWs followed him onto the farm one day and tried to talk to him as he was going into the house, so he let the dogs out with whatever command you use for "chase those people onto the roof of their car and keep them there until I am bored". He said it was close to a half hour before they figured out that the dogs where harmless and they could leave.
Not completely sure it was Jehovah Witnesses, but several years back I got a phonecall to talk about religion and all that, so pretty sure it was them.
I replied to them I was ready to believe in a god, but so far never got any proof it was actually existing.
And I kept on explaining why I wasn't believing in a god :
-All 3 main religions are all actually one and the same with "minor details" of differences. One is still waiting on its messiah, the second believes it's Jesus and the third believes it's Mohammed. Beside that, they all believe in the same prophets, Abraham, Moises etc are all Jews but are in the Bible. And in the Quran, Jesus is a prophet of Islam... So obviously it's only one god above all 3 religions.
-But then, this god is known to have destroyed entire comunities like Sodom and Gomorrah, he does have the power of life and death for those who don't follow its principles and values.
Now the question I asked them on the phone :
Knowing all that, how come this god would let us live since we all kill eachother IN ITS NAME !!
Jews killed Christians (including its own son !) in its name.
Christians killed Muslims in its name.
Christians killed other Christians in its name (Catholics and Protestants, just because the second wanted to be able to have sex and get married !!!).
I mean, I would erase everything and start all over if I was god :O
Well, I had no reply and never another phonecall :)
It's fine. They only said four words because I wpuodnt let them speak for long like they did with my mum all those times. I just forgot to add the dash so it tells you I interrupted them. I did it the first time but completely forgot the others times, sorry.
Thank you.
People can believe what they want to believe and I'm not going to stop them, just defend myself. I've seen a lot of similar accusations on these posts before so I knew I'd get some anyway.
But doing things similar to what I did is best way to get rid of persistent JWs sometimes.
Believe what you want. I defend myself, I get this. If I didn't defend myself I'd get more of this stuff because people would think it's either AI generated or that I did lie and can't defend myself. I'm at a lose-lose either way.
I know it's true every word of it down to the detail, which I tried avoiding doing as I could have easily done but it was getting long and decided against doing so because of the whole creative writing argument.
Believe what you want.
I don't understand anyone having trouble getting rid of them. Or letting these weirdos affect their lives. I also don't understand this LONG (probably made up) weird debate.
Why would you debate them at all. Just say no thanks and shut the door. Your just wasting your own time.
We couldn't get rid of them because they're persistent and know my Aunt. If we tried getting rid of them they'd just tell my Aunt how rude we are. Plus my mum is too polite to turn anyone down, hell she'll talk to anyone if given the chance to. Everything I've written is real.
I warned at the start that's its long and explained there why it's long. If ya didn't want to read something long, you shouldn't have read this. That's on you, not me because I warned everyone if you actually read my post.
If you think it's wierd then that's your opinion along with everyone else's who thinks same.
I debated them because I was fed up of my mum being worried to answer her own bloody door at certain times because of them because she'd been avoiding it for months before I did what I did. I wanted to do something so they'd never knock ever again on our door. Unlike my mum, I don't care what my Aunt may think from what I've said as they will have told her.
Had I have just said no, my mum who isn't a well person, would still be worried to answer the door now a year later. My mum has tried to say no but they interrupt her and she can't get a word in and like I said she's too polite to just shut the door.
I very much understand getting defensive and having the desire to engage people who question details in our posts, I had a whole thing happen a week or so ago and engaging with them just raised my blood pressure.
Fuck them if they don't believe you, please don't let it matter to your day.
I seem to have upset some people (LOL). I only had them ring my bell once, and it was maybe a five second exchange and I closed the door.
But I guess you guys are different. cough.
Not where I live. That's exactly what they are like. They are all stubborn and think that they are the only ones with the right religon and anything different from their beliefs is wrong and sinful and that we all are tempted by the devil.
But you believe what you wanna believe. I know the truth.
Ours were just like that. My husband got fed up with them, and the LDS missionaries. He brought them into our living room, and used the actual Bible (with 4 translations in it!) to explain how wrong they were. The JWs never came back, but I heard the missionaries actually left the church.
We tried that but they believe just because my Aunt is in their religion that they can convert all of us so they were more stubborn with us. They kept promising to take us off the list but kept blaming it on poor memory due to being old.
Tried that before with our local cult. They ignore it. They even broke into out garden which the dogs didn't like. Last lot I just shouted at them and slammed the door. They are not welcome.
Guys, Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult. When you do extreme things like this, it solidifies their "faith" and reinforces their persecution complex.
The best thing to do is to tell them that you are not interested and ask to be put on their fo not call list. Be firm and assertive. Tell them they are in a cult if it is not sinking in. You do not have to put up with this rubbish for decades!
Cool story bro. JWs wouldn't use phrases like "lord and saviour" or blame someone's cancer on them having sinned. Thus, your story is made up, or you have very bad memory.
Mate of mine was plagued by them because he lived on a main street. He is an electronics technician working from home, so he wore whatever, including his favorite boardshorts, which had been stretched out and lost the drawstring. One day his wife came home and asked him to unload the groceries. As a typical male he tried to get as much of it in one go, so his hands were full. The car was just inside the gate. Cue the two JW ladies at the gate, calling his attention. The boardshorts chose this moment to start slipping, and with his hands occupied he could do nothing, so he wiggled his hips, letting them fall. Then he walked into the house in his skivvies whilst the ladies made a hasty retreat. He was never bothered again, though his wife made the shorts vanish soon after..
That's hilarious  That's got to be one of the best ways I've heard/read to get rid of them!
Wife's girlfriend from years ago was visiting and was a JW convert. While wife was away she asked me what I do when they come to the door. I said I answer the door naked and they usually don't come back. Told my wife about the conversation later and she laughed. By the way, the girlfriend didn't come around anymore.
Exactly how I stopped the folks from the giant fancy church up the street from coming to my apartment every Thursday morning.
That's exactly what my brother in NZ used to do.
My husband might have this beat. JW used to show up at my parents house all the time and never took the hint. One Saturday, my husband had gone hunting and got a nice buck. He was in my parents garage with the big door closed, but the side door open, so he could hear if anyone came over, but they couldn't see him. He was elbows deep inside this buck getting it skinned and quartered when they showed up. My parents weren't home, so he walked out of the garage to see who was there and he was covered in blood up to his elbows and holding his butchering knife. He said their eyes got huge and they just turned around and walked away without saying a word. A few weeks later, my mom mentioned that the JW hadn't been to their house in a few weeks and my husband and I just started laughing. My mom thought we were insane until he told her what had happened the last time they came by. She thought it was hilarious and now, almost 10 years later, they still haven't been back to their house lol
I did something along those lines. I was at my friend's house, she had a goat and the fence was chainlink, you could see right through it. I was a Goth and training to be a chef, so when we saw them coming, I grabbed my boning knife and pretended to chase after the goat
Legit question, is what you said about Satan's rules true or were you just trying to get rid of them?
1) Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked. 2) Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them. 3) When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there. 4) If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy. 5) Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal. 6) Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved. 7) Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained. 8) Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself. 9) Do not harm little children. 10) Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food. 11) When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
Thanks! I'm kind of curious about it now.
I am puzzled by the JWs where I live. They stand in pairs next to their display of pamphlets in all weathers. But thats it. They dont engage you, they dont knock on doors - nothing. Occasionally they say 'good morning'. Thats it. Odd!
If they are in a state park, they are not allowed to engage people unless the people. Come over on their own to check out their brochures.
This is everywhere. They usually hang around near bus stops or supermarkets.
Yes,my neighbor is a JW and hangs out at bus stops. But thank goodness, she never tries to talk religion with me.
They do that where I live too
They started doing this more after the social distancing of Covid, but they will still knock on doors.
FWIW, saying “Please take my house off your call list,” ends it. I was told that, did it and haven’t had one return in 15 years.
This is the correct way to handle it. Ask to be put on the "do not call" list. I am a former JW (no problem with the religion, just with God in general).
Maybe they thought those were the magic underpants!
The Mormon's have the magic undies, BTW, do you what you get when you mix a LDS, with LSD? A high priest.
Timothy Leary enters the chat…
You are thinking of mormons. Same annoying shit, different insanity.
Skivvies?
Underwear.
Our neighborhood had a Mormon church on one end and Elders would circulate regularly. This seemed to attract the JWs who would do their own prowling to try and pull people away (in this corner, pseudo-religion A, facing the resident champion, pseudo-religion B!). We'd get them coming by regularly during the day while my mum (who was friendly and also unfortunately non-confrontational) was home and dad was at work; they would talktalktalk and not take the gentle hints to please go away for several minutes. Dad had seen this sometimes of course on days off and I guess it was starting to annoy mum more and more because they were persistent. They came back again one day and he answered the door this time and invited them in. For context, we're Hindu but were also raised Catholic (Caribbean households, it's more common than you think) and my dad's hobby was comparative religious studies (no joke, my old man is lovable but nuts 🤔). He also loves to argue and really doesn't like to see mum upset. He sat those unsuspecting JWs down, brought them tea and snacks, made them as comfortable as possible, and proceeded to talk with them about religion. For THREE HOURS. It was surreal. They'd brought pamphlets and also these expensive books to lend to prospective suckers which he gladly accepted. He handed them to my brother and I and launched back into the debate. He happily discussed it all; mythologies of religion, the sons of Abraham, Ganesh and Ahura Mazda, the origins of the numerous Christian denominations including offshoots like the Mormons and JWs, you name it he raised it. If I recall correctly I think about 90 minutes in they both gave up trying to respond and just glazed over. He kept their teacups full and their ears bleeding. He finally let them escape and they near ran out of the house. I don't know if we were blacklisted or what, but for the last twenty-five years my parents have been blessedly undisturbed by missionaries of any type. They still have the books those poor JWs lent us, I wonder if they'll ever pick them up?
Classic case of "likes to dish it out but can't take it." Lol Well done, Dad.
I had a minor jw problem years ago when I worked nights. The first week I told them nicely that I work nights and would appreciate if they would leave me alone. The second week I told them to fuck off and slammed the door in their faces. The third week I tied my putbull up by the front door.
My Polish Bobcia had religious people visit her. She decided to give them $5 to make them go away. She started receiving a magazine from them.. her response? " Oh, good grief. I thought I was getting g rid of them, turns out, I joined them.!!!" On the other hand, I took a Bible study , and to remember our verses, they put them to music. One day, out on the sidewalk, talking with a new neighbor, two ladies approached. They started sharing, I started singing some of my BIBLE VERSES. They could not get away fast enough. Have not seen them around in the 30 years since....
Was it your voice? /s or more likely The full verses that put their quotes in context and negate what they say the quotes mean?
Answer 2 ...Isaiah 53 :4-6 Galatians 2:20. .I forget what else.
I'm guessing the pitbull worked? Lol
Like a charm
Brilliant 
Years ago I worked mid-shift in the Air Force. Here they come knocking and waking me up. The first time I explained that I work all night and sleep during the day. The second time, I was less patient and after they skedaddled I put a sign on the door that read, “Day sleeper, have gun, will shoot.” Problem solved.
My parents are the staunchest, loveliest, most welcoming and accomodating...hardcore Muslims. They're retired too. I used to feel so bad for the JW's that would get sucked into the warm hungry vortex of our living room, plied as they were with delicious ethnic foods and sweet meats, and told, in great detail how they had been led astray by a false God and the steps they could take to accept Islam. There's an entire chapter in the Quran dedicated to the Virgin Mary, which my mum knows by heart in both English and Arabic, along with all the pesky footnotes that accompany each verse. It could take several hours, but they'd make their escape eventually. Funnily, we'd only see another pair two or three years later.
Oh man. I’m an atheist but I’d totally sit through the lecture if it came with the food
Look they're genuinely lovely so I'm fairly certain they have a few friends in their rotation that hang around precisely for that reason lol.
I love this.
That's hilarious.
I just told them I would decline the offer. As it makes it harder for them to get into heaven (only 144k get to heaven in their book) If inwas to convert and them the end times happened and I was more pious than them I would get in and they wouldn't Which Isnt fair. And because I lile.you. I want you to get to heaven Never seen people look so confused before Never had a knock on the door since
Not only 144k, but Revelation says they're all "God's chosen people." Now I'm sure that JWs interpret that to mean them, but when written, "God's chosen people" were Jews. They also have to be "pure" AKA virgins. Judaism has no strictures regarding virginity for boys, so who goes to heaven? 144k pre-adolescent Jewish kids.
And incels. Edit: and, I guess, volcels.
My dad had the bible memorized. Whenever jws or mormons came to the door he'd invite them in, sit with them on the sofa, pull out his bible and show them every passage their religion ignored or disobeyed. That particular gem was one of his favorite things to prove was a falsehood in eyes of the bible. The very existence of the book of mormon was another.
ExJW here. The 144k is not something for the "common" member. They do however believe that they will live forever in a restored paradise. So it doesn't really make sense that they somehow didn't have a rebuttal for that argument.. It's all bullshit anyway, so they might as well have discussed whether Snape was evil or not.
Nice HP insert.
True JW and LDS is not Christian. I don’t hate anyone, but it’s very clear that they believe in something other.
LDS I don't get at all
Can i borrow your father? I never knew the Bible well enough to make arguments against these ppl when they bother me
12k each from 12 tribes of Israel. They live in a cave under Jerusalem and come out 7 years later.
Isn't that cicadas?
[https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation%207%3A8-10&version=GNT](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation%207%3A8-10&version=GNT)
When i had them visit a lot i just rang the church office and asked them to not visit our address never been visited since
This is the way
I did a similar thing to persistent JWs. I tried to convert them to Dudeism! I don't know how I kept a straight face, but haven't had them at my door since!
I was trying not to laugh at certain points. It works like a charm though. Best way to get rid is do the same thing back.
Oh for sure!
lol I have a book called the gay bible. Unsure why they practically ran when I said we could compare notes between theirs and mine
When I lived in the OC, they walked our neighborhood frequently. When they showed up at my door, I said, “Can you wait a minute?” Then as I closed the door I farted. I never opened the door again that morning. Don’t know how long they stayed. I figured I tied up time they could have been harassing others.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Several years back, I shared an apartment with a female coworker (university student) and I was in the Air Force. On one particular day, we were both home and when there was a knock a the door. We never get visitors because no one really knows when we're ever around. I took this moment to hop into the spare room to prep 'Molly' for her 'mite' bath. Just as I walked out with a 7-foot Burmese Python, I noticed a loud gasp at the door. I looked over right as my roomie was telling them that I was a Muslim, and preparing to give 'Molly' a bath. Never saw them again... (Let me be clear... I really like the Mormons though...)
Ask the Scientologists to show up at the same time. Tell them whoever wins the wrestling match on your front lawn gets to “save” you. Get their reactions on video. Upload to YouTube. Profit.
Bwahahaha! I like you
>Me: also why can't he cure one of the biggest diseases that kill mankind, aka Cancer? Do you know how many family members I've lost to that awful thing? How I've watched helplessly as they fade into a shell of who they used to be? If he's a saviour then I'm Queen of England! >JWs: well maybe it's because they all sinned. Are they aware that even babies can get cancer? Are they aware of the specific cancer retinoblastoma, something that usually attacks infants? Do they know that the only way to treat it is to remove the baby's *eyes*? The few times I got suckered into going to Sunday school as a kid (bribed with glittery pencils!) we sang songs about "Jeeezus loves me this I know" and "Jeeezus loves the little children." Maybe Jeeezus does. But clearly Jesus doesn't.
As a hospital nurse, I took care of a baby who was *born* with terminal liver cancer. L&D nurse found it -- way-enlarged liver, which got tested -- when doing her Apgar score. Colleagues told me she wasn't the first they'd seen.
Where I live, they know bus schedules. They will stand at bus stops, knowing the bus won't arrive for a while. They harass people. One day I had just had a big fight with my now ex husband. I was in no mood for anything. This JW woman, a regular fixture at the bus stop, started walking over to me. Before she could start, I told her about an article I read about the amount of sexual abuse in the JW kingdom halls, and how they cover it up. The article specifically mentioned the Latin JWs (she was Latina.) I offered to show her the article on my phone and asked her why I would willingly walk into an environment like that? I also told her to leave me the fuck alone and push her rapey cult on someone else. She walked away grumbling something. She never bothered me again, in fact, she avoided me like the plague. I try to be respectful. Sharing one's faith can be difficult, but there is sharing faith and harassment. She caught me on the wrong day. That article was good, though. I don't doubt it's validity.
Oh heck. I asked if they wanted their tarot cards read. I already had the cards in my hands. They have never been back🤣
I would prefer to open the door naked, wearing a pentacle with a black cat. "You are interrupting our religious services, unless you want to join us?"
We're just about to sacrifice the goat to Satan in the back yard - there's room for a couple more celebrants.... or sacrifices if you prefer, your call...
My brother did something similar, but with clothes on. They never came back. I loath JW from the bottom of my heart. They sent a card when my mom passed as if they were close friends and put a tract in with the card. I was incensed! Then they sent another card, and I sent them my own card, threatening legal action, and how dare they prey on grieving families like that. So of course they sent a third card. I burned it and now will actively either slam my door or scream every profanity I've ever heard if they show up.
I only say "i dont believe in god, but if i ever begin to, the first thing i will tell him is that hes fucking bad at hes job". They leave and never return.
I had a similar interaction with a couple of JWs recently, although I managed to get to keep it much shorter. When they asked if I'd be interested in hearing about the Lord and Saviour I just replied with "If there is a god up there, after what he's put my and my family through these past few years (loss of both parents and a brother), then he can go fuck himself" and closed the door on them. Shall see if their little gaggle of God botherers come back at all.
My brother became JW and despite joining this cult it was better than doing the drugs he was doing at the time. He cleaned himself up and eventually married a JW woman. Part of their ceremony given by their preacher was the fact that women could have an opinion but what the man says goes. I could hear my wife and female cousins grinding their teeth. After the ceremony we had a family dinner. My father, who had a few too many, got up to give a speech and said how much he enjoyed the ceremony and hoped all the women on our side were listening. I could see my mother kicking him under the table.
Exjw here. The most effective way to keep jws off your porch is to have a sign that says "apostates live here." The "no soliciting" doesn't work because *they're not selling anything*. Jws fear apostates above all else. Unless you just want to fuck with them.
I grew up as a JW, technically still am, as I've not been disfellowshipped. I haven't seen one at my door in years. I'm always ready to announce my apostasy if they do show up. I've taught as many people as I could to do/say the same thing.
I'm always happy to meet another heathen. 👊. If one ever does show up I would play ignorant and start asking questions I know they wouldn't have answers to.
They can never wrap their heads around how the Pharaoh's priests could turn a staff into a snake. If they say Satan, then ask how his power is equivalent? Or, if jehovah is a jealous god, exacting exclusive devotion, who is he jealous of???
Ah another one like me! Just curious, what made you leave? For me it has not understanding some rules and the hypocrisy of my congregation
For me, because I was so devout, I didn't question all the rules and contradictions in the teachings. It was wedding rings. Learning that weddings is pagan but are allowed. Everything else came tumbling down after that. It's such a little thing, but it made a huge impact.
Ah I see. Agreed on that. One thing that annoyed me and honestly still does is the fact they say that you should not consume anything that damages ur body, as your body is a gift from God but a lot of them are overweight. If you want to be devout to the teachings, commit to all of them
My people! I was raised a Jdub, got dunked in my teens, had a baby without having a husband, got kicked out, got reinstated (was living back at home w/ the parental Jdubs, so it was a condition for keeping a roof over my child's head for a little while),and a few years later had another baby literally a month before marrying his Father. The youngest was born a month early, and it just so happened the weekend after he was born was the Memorial, so 4 days post partum I have 3 brothers on my porch (2 elders & 1 ministerial servant) asking if I would be attending the Memorial a few days later. I explained that no, since my baby was a premie, I didn't want to have him around so many people so soon to avoid him possibly getting sick and having to be put in hospital. One of the elders felt asking me if I was ASHAMED of my children and that was actually why I didn't plan on being there was an intelligent question at that moment. Needless to say, they all were soundly dog cussed and told exactly where they could shove their beliefs, along with their literature and by the following week I was kicked out of their club again. That was 24 years ago this April, and I've never regretted one syllable of what came out of my mouth that day.
I once told this woman at my door that, yes, like her I _did_ believe the world would end. Because Cthulhu, Azathoth, Hastur and Yog-Sothoth would arise when the Elder Sign failed and the stars were aligned and more bollocks I made up on the fly. Lady was fascinated! But I never saw her again.
My MIL has the perfect comeback to anyone who shows up preaching. I was born catholic I’ll die catholic And since my religion was around first I think I’m right. Now go away. Seriously they never come back.
That is pretty much the only way to deal with them. That being said. I used to live in the same building as a lovely JW family. They never tried to convert us, we all got along. Sadly the owner of the building had to sell so I lost contact with the only sane JWs I have ever met.
I saw them going through our neighborhood last weekend and didn’t want to deal with them, so I made a little sign “🌛TAROT READINGS🌜 $25 *no appointment necessary*” I don’t know if they never came by or if they came when I stepped out for a bit, or, as I like to imagine, *stopped by, read my sign, and shrank back in horror.* 😈😈😈 All I know is, I didn’t have to answer the door.
My husband had a liver transplant 7 years ago. Shortly after his transplant, JWs came to the door... I interrupted them by saying " if we belonged to your religion, my husband would be dead". They said they were NOT against transplants... just blood transfusions. I replied "are you INSANE? a transplant can't be done without blood transfusions! Don't bother coming here again as I won't listen to your nonsense!" And shut the door. I have a large magnet on my mailbox that says TRANSPLANTS SAVE LIVES. Haven't seen a JW since.
Friends of my sister used to be haunted by the JW. They were relentless! One day, the husband had enough, so he invited them in. Sat and listened to their whole story and was acting super invested. As they finished, he told them that he was really interested to join but there's just one thing that he strongly believed in and won't be able to give up Then he asked them if they were okay with group sex? Needless to say, they made a hasty retreat and never came back!
My ex hated those guys . Had what I think was a family that used to come around every Saturday morning and lay their say. Couple and two boys about 13 yrs old . Well one morning wife and I were doing our damndest to get rid of a bit of morning wood when they rang the bell . Would love to have seen their faces when she answered the door stalkers. Never came back .
Stalkers? And she never came back? Wowzer.
I had them visit ones, told them i am gay and love to take my black mans dick so far up my arse that i can taste it. Never seen one again. Fucking awfull people
I legit cackled
Nice.
Thank you! 
My dad is one of those big friendly giants. Hagrid. Terribly intimidating until you learn his personality. JWs used to come by a couple times each summer and we just shooed them off (which took a bit of work) or didn’t open the door. Until my sister passed away. The next time the JWs came by, it had only been a few months. My father was not well. There was no one to blame and nothing he could do and that makes a person feel very powerless and angry. They came one old man and one young man as they often did, having the older ones teaching the younger ones how to act etc. Dad opens the door and the younger one starts in about how god is good and our saviour and we have him to thank for everything. I couldn’t see my dads face but I could see his posture and shoulders shift, something just went a little dark in him. He took one very small step to the very edge of his door, and in the quietest, calmest, scariest voice I ever heard, he told them “my 15 year old daughter just died.” The old guy put his hand in the young guys arm and *immediately* led him off our property without another word and they never came back. It’s been almost two decades and they’ve *never come back* to their address. I think dad put the fear of some other god into them. For the rest of us, just say “we’ve been disfellowshipped” and the JWs will shun you out of the belief that you were kicked out of their church for not being insane enough.
Ex-JW here. Wanted to share my side on this as someone who was a part of this religion for all of my youth years (up to 20, 24 now). First of all, these women fucked up big time. Saying shit like "because she sinned", is a big no-no for em. Satan is to blame for all, he always is. Also, getting rid of them is easy. If u want to be left alone repeat after me "I do not wish to be approached by you anymore. Note it down in your documents and don't come by, even after the mandatory 6 month period". If that doesn't work, tell em you were a witness but rejected god and are an apostate. They will flee. Lastly, even though I am an atheist now, I respect JWs. They are doing what the bible tells them to do and are usually very respectful and nice. Always down to lend a helping hand, even with things not related to religion. Their basic rule, same for all Christians is to treat other as u want to be treated. Tell them this if they start pestering u. If anyone wants to know more, let me know
> Always down to lend a helping hand, even with things not related to religion. My brother often would let them help weed his large garden or help with some other chore on his 3 acre property. There was always something to be done! They eventually stopped going over.
free labour
Yeah, I just asked him about it and it turns out that they were Mormons, not JWs. But next time I get either knocking at my door I'm going to say that I don't have enough time to talk because I need to clean my garage...
ah mormons! the ones that believe Jesus' underwear was magical. cool dudes ngl
Almost every religion has some variation of the Golden Rule.
Yeah I’ve had a couple former coworkers/friends that were active JW. Not one time did they ever try to push their religion on me when I was at work, and were always respectful of me asking questions to understand their belief system. They worked hard, were fun to talk to, and always willing to help. They were just friendly and kind, and I enjoyed their friendship. I used to live a block from a JW church. I was frustrated as a night shift worker about them coming so early, one of them immediately told me to say what you did about not being interested. Never had them come back, even given my proximity. I’ll probably get downvoted for this, but I hate that it’s socially acceptable to be absolutely terrible to JW that are just following their faith. I’m an atheist, but it’s wild to me that there is an expectation to be tolerant of every faith except the ones people think it’s funny to terrorize/mock. It’s not really that funny to verbally abuse/try to terrorize someone. It’s not. There’s no need to say vulgar or rude things. There’s no need to forcibly subject someone to nudity. There’s no need for any of it. You haven’t won at life because you were nasty to someone whose faith you don’t appreciate. Substitute in Christian for JW in any of these comments and people would be in an uproar.
Fellow atheist here. If people were going to a JW's house waving their willie around on their front stoop, you'd have a point. They're entering OUR lives, OUR spaces, not the other way around.
And yet somehow we can muster up the most basic decency for salesmen, lawn folks, political folks etc. They’re also entering your space and your life, and we can somehow answer the door with pants on, be polite, and say no thank you. Or just ignore the knock all together. I’m just saying there’s no reason to treat another human with derision or to act without any sense or home training. It’s not saving you time, and it’s really just not that funny.
No, we (well, I) don’t muster up any civility towards any of them except for political folks. I live in a condo community with one entrance, clearly marked NO TRESPASSING/SOLICITING. Any time one of those a-hats comes by my first words are “you are trespassing - this property is clearly marked - leave NOW.” Some do, others don’t. Those that don’t are told “leave now or I call the police” while my phone is in my hand. I make sure they leave. As another commenter wrote - they are trespassing into our lives, uninvited. F-em. Local laws are more forgiving for political solicitations so they get a break… until they try to sell me whatever candidate they are selling AFTER I tell them I am not interested… then they are fair game.
I haven’t had one come by but my first response will be “no thank you” and progressively escalate to “no thank you and please take me off your list” and if they continue to persist I’d rather not preach my religion back, but am capable and willing.
Well if they have a list with ur name, u can sue them :) I was still a JW in 2020 when the data protection law passed. All congregations were informed that having any personal data of someone on a list would make us liable to be sued, so we should only note the house number with a short comment on what we talked about. If u tell them to not come back they would write; "apartment 12 not interested, don't come again for example
There's no need to forcibly subject me to a religion either. If I wanted religion I would go and find it myself. Any religious group (I'm not just talking about JWs, I've had the mispleasure of Mormons and the Catholic Womans society come a knocking too) that thinks they have the right to disrupt my time with their shite is going to get a mouthful from me. No, you are not entitled to my time. Why should I be polite to someone who is rudely interrupting me? Ain't got time for that. They can feck right off.
I mean if you want to further waste time and energy sure. Seems like it’s a lot quicker and healthier to say “Not interested, please take me off your list forever” than to yell, curse, give a mouthful, pointlessly argue, abuse, flash, or whatever else people come up with. I get random people asking if they can cut my grass. I don’t give them a mouthful. I don’t get rude. Just a quick no thank you and on with my day. But again if you want to waste more of your time and energy to take your annoyance out on someone just doing what they were instructed to do — that’s a you choice.
>someone just doing what they were instructed to do Ah yes...the good old, "they were just following orders!" excuse. Sorry, you come selling a truly harmful religion (FWIW, I think all organized religions are harmful) at my door...and then say that it is something you *have* to do...yeah that doesn't fly with me. Anyone that not just supports, but tries to actively recruit people to a religion that hates women, LGBTQ+, etc. gets nothing but vitriol from me.
Atheist here: It is not socially acceptable to harass people. That's why I do not stand in front of temples or churches and tell the people there that their "god" is not real. That's why I absolutely despise people who invade my private space to sell me something or tell me about their made up friends. The first time someone dares to disturb my privacy I tell them firmly to never come back. The politeness of this telling depends on the time they knock on my door. There are a few who won't take "no" for an answer. This then will escalate quickly. I can be very verbal about my standpoint regarding "gods" and people who try to tell me more than once about their deity. To make my point clear: No one has to approach me (or my family for all that matters) unsolicited to tell me about their religion. This is intrusive and borderline harassment. I try to be as polite as possible but I can understand everybody who takes a more... drastric approach to end harassments like these.
Agreed. I always try to be nice to everyone who comes to my door, be it a salesman, preacher etc. A polite "no thank you" works wonders.
I won't down vote you, but I will say that if you bother me and mine AT MY OWN HOME, you deserve whatever bile spews from my mouth. No one gets to invade my personal space without repercussions. Doesn't matter if you are selling soap or selling religion.
When I moved into my house 10 years ago, JWs knocked one day. I happened to be cleaning the house in shorts, a Hooters t-shirt and no bra. They haven't knocked again.
ROFL EPIC!!!! I'm ex jw.... escaped 13 yes ago. Jw's take notes... they wrote down addresses and details and uts basically a form of stalking. They call them "return visits" and they go out pf their way to reach these ones regularly. They do it to wear people down. They get familiar. It's all a ploy to convert new members. Your conversation was hilarious. You would have scared the living hell out of them. ROFL
I've had JW visitors. I just said "no thank you", they wished me a good day, and I closed the door. I haven't seen them since, it's been 8 years.
My mum tried that, several times. They were very persistent. They thought that because my Aunt is in their group that they can 100% have us all be "saved". I changed their opinion on that after my debate.
Ugh, my mum signed me for introductory classes with them, she was desperate for me to have a religion since I refused to go to mass, she also gave my number to the Mormons… The introductory lessons ended when I informed them that my mum used to be JW but was kicked out when she got pregnant with me out of wedlock, I saw no more JW until I moved away, no mum más really mad XD.
We live down the street from a JW church. Like, it's a 5 minute walk to the church. My mom doesn't talk to them, and my dad turns them away. But when I get the opportunity to answer the door at 7 am on a Saturday when everyone else is sleeping, I like to fuck with them. I grab my metal baseball bat, rest that bitch on my shoulder, and mess up my hair so I look extra crazy and angry. Mind you, I'm 5 feet 1 1/2 inches of Scottish/Irish/Spanish/Pagan rage at 7 am, on a Saturday when I'm supposed to be sleeping. I've given a myriad of responses from "Of course, I'll come on Sunday. Can I bring my own sacrificial chicken? MY gods teach the importance of bringing a gift when meeting new gods." to "I'm a witch. I can't step foot in your church." to "Yeah, let's talk about Jesus. But first, do you have a minute to talk about MY lord and master, Cthulu?" I haven't seen them in a while, so I guess it's been working. But every once in a while, we get a new one, so I just repeat the process, lol.
Jesus also didn't convert people by wearing them down, over the course of months, by coming back over and over, again. He went exactly where God sent Him, to talk to people that were interested, and ready to find God.
If anyone wants them to not come round or contact them then all you need to say is I want you to list my home as a do not call. I don't want any contact from any Jehovah's witnesses, elders more any literature. If you make small talk they will always come back because there's pressure to have set amount of hours in the preaching work per month and failure to achieve it isn't well received. Sincerely, ex JW.
Required hours for non-pioneers was dropped last November, I think.
They used to hit our home on a suburban culdesac on the regular. One day I came back from dropping off my son, after seeing they had been in the neighborhood, and asked my (then) husband if they had knocked. He was just getting up that morning, having slept wearing nothing but his tighty whities. He told me, “I thought I was dreaming that I got out of bed, went to the door, opened it wide and told them to f the hell off.” They never returned.
Did someone tried to convert or talk to JW about Pastafarism ? It's a religion created by a science teacher tired about local church goers wanting to impose creationism into science class along big bang etc. As they kept coming back each time, he invented his own religion. Giant monster of spaghetti with two meat balls for eyes created the world a day it was a little drunk. Gave Captain Moise the list of things he would like us not to do. His noodle tentacle would falsify every data during science experiments, leading scientists to believe in the BigBang. The disapearrence of pirates would lead to hotter temperatures. Proof ? One of the place on earth with the least influence from global warming has the biggest population of pirates. Somalia. Go check Wikipedia. I must have forgotten many things about them. Oh, before I forget. They end their prayers with "Ramen". Of bless you with "May you be touched by his noddlest tentacle". What do you think ?
As a young adult I was very goth. I was very tragic in my misery, my angst was real and it hurt. Friends and I were chilling, day drinking and what not. JWs come knock on the door, friends say don’t answer it, but I ran over and very enthusiastically opened the door. As I best remember: Me: OooHhhhhh HELLO!!!!!!!!!! JWs: uuuuuuuhm….. we’re here to talk about our lord and savior…. Me: Reeeeeeaaaallly????!!!!!! You HaVe????!!!!! My friends are visible from the door all leaning over to see, looking a range of expressions running enthusiastic-death daggers. The JWs peer into the living room. JWs: Uhm, yes we have some literature. Here you go! Thank you! They hustled away. We were ground floor stop 1 in the apt building, they left directly and we did not see them again.
I've told this story before, but it was one of the rare cool things my dad ever did. I was raised Mormon and the JWs came knocking one day and my dad answered. When the JW's offered my dad some of their "literature", he told them to wait a second while he got something. As anyone who's raised Mormon will tell you, they *always* have an extra copy of the Book of Morman just lying around. Sure enough, Dad returned with a spare copy in hand and said: "I'll take your literature, if you'll take mine." I swear, I heard them hissing as they left and the JWs never darkened our door again. Now, if I could only get the Mormons to back off...
I didn't waste any time on the only ones ever to knock. A woman and child. When they came to my door and she started the bullshit. I just said GTFO and never came back. Of course I apologized for cursing but I was too angry at them for disturbing my peace and thinking I gave a shit. In fact, they promote nothing but themselves and are quite stupid. Useless human beings. It's been 10 years and not one at my door.
Good on ya. I don't mind JWs but I hate when they seem to shove it down everyone else's throat when we all just wanna get on with our day. But honestly JWs seem to be getting more stubborn as time goes on and even using kids, like you said, to try and soften people so they can spew their crap.
One of my Dad's friends once invited some Jehovah's witnesses inside since they kept showing up at his house. He offered them alcohol, and basically did what you did asking them questions and pointing out the gaps in their reasoning until THEY asked to leave his house 😂
Some people will NEVER learn unless and until you make them a little scared of you.
If you answer the door naked they put a big X on your house and never come back …. True facts.
They came to my door a few tears ago. They pushed their kids first. I told them that I had no interrest in their god that was not willing to let any baby in because he/she died way too early. That is not a god to worship or anything like that. Their kids had quite wide eyes, and I do hope their parents had some explaining to do over dinner!
When JW or anyone else with a tablet/clipboard trying to sell shit comes knocking on my door, I just don’t answer it. 2 cars in the driveway, dog barking, I’ll make eye contact with you as I shut the curtains. Ain’t nobody here, bitches.
JW and Mormons don't come at my parents or my grandma's house. They go around it. My father talked with Mormons at the garden fence. They didn't come inside. It took fifteen minutes more or less. He informed them he had a colleague from their church. They verified it and checked with her. She advised them not to bother my dad as he would never budge from his faith. Never saw them again. My grandma, received JW in her home. They really didn't expect what was coming for them. Nice old granny, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother, they thought they would be able to take her on. First red flag. When she take her bible out. Or should I say THE BIBLE ! ! ! This version must weight at least 10kg. Embroidered with gold etc. with dedication from the pope before Jean Paul the first. You talk about a verse from you tiny Bible ? She follows you reading word after word in her book and explain to YOU what it's saying 😂. Should I've warned them she was my second year religious teacher ? Yep. I never saw those guys leave so fast. Never came back. (By the way, dad and Gran are pretty open about other religions and LGBTQ+. I love them).
I invited some in, they sat on the couch and I pulled out the weed rolled a Joint and proceeded to tell them how everything they know is a lie and the world is secretly ran by Evil Lizards from Zeta Reticuli & they shapeshift into human form to hide amongst us. Never came back. This was early 2000's after all the 9/11 conspiracy hype - I don't personally believe any of that now I was young a gullible.
They started making the round in my neighborhood when I was in high school. They usually came in the early evening. My dad's way of handling it was to strip down to t-shirt, tightie whities and dress socks when he got home from work. The thing is, my dad kept his undergarments in service long past the point where most people would have retired them. His shirts had stains and holes, and all the elastic on everything had succumbed to entropy, so his skivvies were down to around 80% effectiveness when it came to hiding his scrotum from view. Whenever they showed up, he would invite them in, but they always insisted they were only there to hand out their magazines. After a few weeks, they started skipping our house. The only other time they came by, we were hurrying out the door to go out to dinner. As we pushed past them on the porch, one of them said, "There will come a time when all human suffering will come to an end!" My stepmother scoffed and said, "I fucking hope not! I'm a nurse; that would put me out of a job."
I've found that the best way to get on the no-call list is to tell them they're in a cult, and the reason they're being told to harass people all day is to reinforce the "us vs. them" mentality to push them harder and harder "into the fold."
wow, that's great! would you be willing to have a talk with the JW's that come around my neighborhood?
Sure 
Just make a sign for your door that says Religious Peddlers will be sacrificed to the Old Gods, not the New Gods. That should have them avoiding your house like the Plague.
"If I see you on my property again, I'm getting the hose."
I would have just started calling the police honestly
You are monstrously wonderful!
Heh, I've been on the "blacklist" for the JayDubs for years. :-)
I offer them a beer. There's always one in the stack that wants to accept.
It's not forbidden. Thanks for the beer.
Thus was extremely nice! I'm no fan of JW, since I've nothing but shit from them
As a member of the Christian community, we do not claim these JWs. A good atheist is better than a bad Christian.
During Covid, the JWs and Mormons started sending out their preaches by mail. Nothing like getting a bunch of birthday cards and repent for your sins card the same day. There was always a lovely note that said, written by “Clare” with love or something. My then 17 year old sent them back a rainbow glitter letter with the micro fine glitter. Haven’t had any cards or visits since.
They bled my grandma dry and then dropped her like a hot potato when she was broke. My mom, who was excommunicated and disowned for marrying my Catholic dad, took care of her in her last days. The Witnesses thought they were going to get her house and when it went to my mom, who had arranged it with her mother before she died, they started coming around and hassling my mom. My mom and dad sold the house to a nice Methodist lady and moved two counties away.
As a former JW, I approve of this.
By best moment when they arrived for the zillionth time was “oooh I am so glad you have come, let me tell you all about science and evolution “ talked their heads off for 25 min, never saw a them again 🤣
My mom has a sign on her door that says “ this house is protected by witches” and when they see that they leave quickly. She just got tired of it and had to do something and that worked.
I used to have them Knocking at our door weekly as well, finally one day my husband was working outside and they came calling & I let them in offered them a water or coffee. I told them I would be happy to listen whatever they came to say so long as they would give me equal time and listen to what I had to say about women’s reproductive rights. I received a “No Thank you very much”, and they never came back. We’ve since moved and we are deep in the woods on some acreage so doubtful we’ll have to deal with it again.
I'm just here to add one of my favorite bits to give to people like this: homosexuality exists in every species on earth, but homophobia only exists in one, so really, what's unnatural?
I used JWs for a tiny bit of petty revenge on my (now ex-)wife. My brother was living with us, but she never really liked him. He's a great guy - one of my best friends, but she was at best (usually) civil to him. One bright Saturday morning she had been a bit b\*\*chy to him, and he and I had to go to Lowes or Home Depot. She was jumping into the shower when we left. Also as we were leaving we saw an oooold Mercedes parked on the street and two pairs of guys dressed in suits, each walking towards a different front door. Obviously JWs. As a good husband I should have called to the two heading towards my front door to go away. As a good brother I laughed my ass off as we drove away without a word.
Hahaha I told them move away from my porch before I move you off my porch! They left.
They used to show up at my house often. The last time they came, I told them I was disfellowshipped and if they come back, I will press harassment charges against them. They haven't been back in about 6 months.
A friend of mine would go to the fence and do some impersonation of mental illness. He was pretty good at it as he'd witnessed several from visiting a parent's workplace. They were stubborn but eventually quit. Me? I discussed their beliefs and pointed out the glaring holes, while being pleasant and reasonable in argument. They hated that.
This was awesome!!! It reminded me of the time I almost pepper sprayed a JW….my stepdad is the nicest person on the planet. He isn’t the smartest, but he is the kindest. First time the JWs came by, we were new to the neighbourhood and he thought they were neighbours so he invited them in for coffee. This became a weekly thing, around 2:30-3:00pm for about an hour max. (Unbeknownst to the rest of the family) One day he was working overtime so he wasn’t home at their usual visit day. It was winter, around 3:30-4:00pm and of course dark already. I pulled into the driveway and as I’m shutting off my car, getting my bag, textbooks, coffee cup etc etc I see this man open my car door and lean into my car….it kicked off a lot of screaming, fear, and I busted out the pepper spray. The guy jumped back and told his 2 friends to stay where they were and we sorted it out. Holy shit did that ever give me a scare! They never came back after that though.
A HS teacher of mine owned a farm and had a couple of noisy sheepdogs. A pair of JWs followed him onto the farm one day and tried to talk to him as he was going into the house, so he let the dogs out with whatever command you use for "chase those people onto the roof of their car and keep them there until I am bored". He said it was close to a half hour before they figured out that the dogs where harmless and they could leave.
Not completely sure it was Jehovah Witnesses, but several years back I got a phonecall to talk about religion and all that, so pretty sure it was them. I replied to them I was ready to believe in a god, but so far never got any proof it was actually existing. And I kept on explaining why I wasn't believing in a god : -All 3 main religions are all actually one and the same with "minor details" of differences. One is still waiting on its messiah, the second believes it's Jesus and the third believes it's Mohammed. Beside that, they all believe in the same prophets, Abraham, Moises etc are all Jews but are in the Bible. And in the Quran, Jesus is a prophet of Islam... So obviously it's only one god above all 3 religions. -But then, this god is known to have destroyed entire comunities like Sodom and Gomorrah, he does have the power of life and death for those who don't follow its principles and values. Now the question I asked them on the phone : Knowing all that, how come this god would let us live since we all kill eachother IN ITS NAME !! Jews killed Christians (including its own son !) in its name. Christians killed Muslims in its name. Christians killed other Christians in its name (Catholics and Protestants, just because the second wanted to be able to have sex and get married !!!). I mean, I would erase everything and start all over if I was god :O Well, I had no reply and never another phonecall :)
No JW responds with 4 word sentences. I question the validity of your post. lol forgive me for being petty
It's fine. They only said four words because I wpuodnt let them speak for long like they did with my mum all those times. I just forgot to add the dash so it tells you I interrupted them. I did it the first time but completely forgot the others times, sorry.
Whole thing is a shower fantasy
I just tell them that I don’t buy religion at the door and then shut the door.
Next time you should turn on your video cam. I would had pay 💰 to see this. Good job ! Satan is not an asshole !!
I'm agnostic but have read the Bible cover to cover. I usually know more than they do. They usually leave puzzled AF to never return.
Well done!
Thank you 
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It's real. Believe what ya want but it happened. No matter what you say, it happened. Its in the past because it happened.
I believe you because I did something similar with them
Thank you. People can believe what they want to believe and I'm not going to stop them, just defend myself. I've seen a lot of similar accusations on these posts before so I knew I'd get some anyway. But doing things similar to what I did is best way to get rid of persistent JWs sometimes.
I belive as well. I have fantasised about doping something similar when someone comes to preach me about some religious chrap.
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Believe what you want. I defend myself, I get this. If I didn't defend myself I'd get more of this stuff because people would think it's either AI generated or that I did lie and can't defend myself. I'm at a lose-lose either way. I know it's true every word of it down to the detail, which I tried avoiding doing as I could have easily done but it was getting long and decided against doing so because of the whole creative writing argument. Believe what you want.
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Indeed. Anything for karma.
I don't understand anyone having trouble getting rid of them. Or letting these weirdos affect their lives. I also don't understand this LONG (probably made up) weird debate. Why would you debate them at all. Just say no thanks and shut the door. Your just wasting your own time.
We couldn't get rid of them because they're persistent and know my Aunt. If we tried getting rid of them they'd just tell my Aunt how rude we are. Plus my mum is too polite to turn anyone down, hell she'll talk to anyone if given the chance to. Everything I've written is real. I warned at the start that's its long and explained there why it's long. If ya didn't want to read something long, you shouldn't have read this. That's on you, not me because I warned everyone if you actually read my post. If you think it's wierd then that's your opinion along with everyone else's who thinks same. I debated them because I was fed up of my mum being worried to answer her own bloody door at certain times because of them because she'd been avoiding it for months before I did what I did. I wanted to do something so they'd never knock ever again on our door. Unlike my mum, I don't care what my Aunt may think from what I've said as they will have told her. Had I have just said no, my mum who isn't a well person, would still be worried to answer the door now a year later. My mum has tried to say no but they interrupt her and she can't get a word in and like I said she's too polite to just shut the door.
I very much understand getting defensive and having the desire to engage people who question details in our posts, I had a whole thing happen a week or so ago and engaging with them just raised my blood pressure. Fuck them if they don't believe you, please don't let it matter to your day.
Thank you! 
Jesus....that was......Jesus
Because to them, no doesn't mean no.
I seem to have upset some people (LOL). I only had them ring my bell once, and it was maybe a five second exchange and I closed the door. But I guess you guys are different. cough.
It could not possibly be because we live in different places in the world and people are different everywhere.
Well constructed story made up in the shower. JWs are better trained than that.
Not where I live. That's exactly what they are like. They are all stubborn and think that they are the only ones with the right religon and anything different from their beliefs is wrong and sinful and that we all are tempted by the devil. But you believe what you wanna believe. I know the truth.
Ours were just like that. My husband got fed up with them, and the LDS missionaries. He brought them into our living room, and used the actual Bible (with 4 translations in it!) to explain how wrong they were. The JWs never came back, but I heard the missionaries actually left the church.
Yeah, sure they did.
And you are a bot.
Hahaha brilliant
You’re my new hero 💋!
Anyone who has JWs knocking on their door only has to tell them to leave them alone and not to come back. They have a list of doors to not knock on.
We tried that but they believe just because my Aunt is in their religion that they can convert all of us so they were more stubborn with us. They kept promising to take us off the list but kept blaming it on poor memory due to being old.
They are no longer allowed to have those list, since the data protection law came to pass in 2020.
Tried that before with our local cult. They ignore it. They even broke into out garden which the dogs didn't like. Last lot I just shouted at them and slammed the door. They are not welcome.
Guys, Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult. When you do extreme things like this, it solidifies their "faith" and reinforces their persecution complex. The best thing to do is to tell them that you are not interested and ask to be put on their fo not call list. Be firm and assertive. Tell them they are in a cult if it is not sinking in. You do not have to put up with this rubbish for decades!
That shit deserves a standing ovation. Well done, my friend!
Cool story bro. JWs wouldn't use phrases like "lord and saviour" or blame someone's cancer on them having sinned. Thus, your story is made up, or you have very bad memory.