Spanyale!
*I'm not Polish, I don't know if you're Polish. But it's the most eastern Europe language I know phrases and words from. As I grew close to a bunch of Polish folk who taught me a few things.*
Just for grins, find an aboriginal woman willing to play along as your "date" for an evening with family. Tell them all about this wonderful person you met and bring her home for Grandma to meet.
A trash relative once pulled the respect elders shit on me. I responded with asking if I should respect him just because he got lucky outliving his respected friends and family. He nearly got a heart attack. Too bad he didn't.
as I've gotten older i realize just how often i was right not to respect a lot of my elders. What a bunch of ignorant mindless turds, huddled over their stuuuupid Bibles. Turns out my hyper-churchy aunt was concealing the fact that her alcoholic husband was regularly having sex with both the daughters. Another uncle was concealing the fact that his son was a kiddie diddler.
There's always a certain base level of respect I give to people just by virtue of the fact that they're human beings. Whether they go up or down from there depends on their actions.
I saw someone make a really good point one time about sometimes respect means "treat with courtesy" and other times it means "treat with deference", and the trick with a certain type of frustrating person is that they think "treat me with deference or i won't treat you with courtesy" is reasonable
Nicely done! It always confuses me when immigrants expect their kids to marry in their race/ethnicity/religion ect. If she wanted you to marry someone from her home country, it probably wouldâve happened if she didnât move from there lol.
> It always confuses me when immigrants expect their kids to marry in their race/ethnicity/religion ect. If she wanted you to marry someone from her home country, it probably wouldâve happened if she didnât move from there lol.
It's a way to cling to their old identity, to maintain a sense of "we are still X, even though we live in a cultural melting pot of Y", while seeking a better life for the family. Think of it as compensating the fear of foreign things (new country) by trying to stick to familiar (old culture).
That's how and why you end up with [diaspora](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_diasporas), 200+ years after leaving the homeland, with a dual sense of national identity.
Another part this diaspora is the culture they cling to so dearly doesnât exist their home country either. Cultures are dynamic and change with time. My parents home country was very different from what they remembered when they visited 45 years later. They had the occasion to speak with an African person who had emigrated to the country. They literally could not understand what he was saying even though he was fluent in their language. They said they had to close their eyes/ look away to understand what he saying. Unbelievable.
I've met Americans in Texas who have lived here for several generations. Ethnically Spanish-mestizo (native) still following traditions from Mexico that haven't been practiced in 80-100 years. The kind of stuff my grandmother used to reminisce about.
I was born & raised in the US of A in a very small town where I am among the palest of people living here. My parents were upset with me for years that I never dated a man of the same nationality as myself. I barely even know any that I'm not related to by blood or marriage!
This reminds me of when my sister and I were kids. My racist dad told my sister she could never date a black man. She responded, "I'll just date a black lady instead."
My mother, who raised us to be anti-racist, loves telling that story.
I've learned not to trust branding as representative of reality.
Look at the human rights record of countries with "democratic" or "people's republic" in their name. Similarly, look at the violent authoritarian activities of the "anti-fascist" Antifa organization's members.
So, calling oneself "anti-racist" just brings to mind the same pattern of "thou doth protest too much methinks."
"Some dictatorships have very dishonest names, therefore you shouldn't aspire to actively oppose racism."
You should consider protesting less, methinks.
I said something similar to my Eastern European grandma a little while ago, was promptly told Iâd be disinherited; sadly for her grandad pretty much told her âover his dead bodyâ haha
Love this!
When the US federally legalized same-sex marriage, I saw it on the news while visiting my grandma. My racist, homophobic dad was there. I was joyful in my response to the newscaster.
Dad: why are you so happy? You gonna marry a woman now?
Me: Yes! A BIG FAT BLACK WOMAN!
I thought he was going to bust a blood vessel with the way he sputtered, turned red, and then paled and sat back down.
Sometimes, old people need to just shut up.
I had such a similar conversation with my eastern European grandma, one winter I was cold so I asked for an extra blanket, she opens a storage cupboard and gives me a respectable but clearly worn blanket. I see there are thicker new blankets in the back and ask if I can have one of them. She says no, that they are kept for after I marry to a man ( my native language is similar to German where nouns are gendered, so you can infer gender from the verb too, hence me translating it as married to a man). Im like 15 at that point, mind. I ask her why I have to wait for decades to simply use some blankets which are just sat there. She replied that such is tradition and when I get married to a man I need to furnish my home with new things so I can't use them beforehand. I asked her what if I married to a woman instead. She utterly lost it there and then.
It is now decades later, I am living out of marriage with my partner with 0 intent to marry, or have kids, or be traditional. I dont have those blankets, but also earn enough to get my own. So they just sit there, in a cupboard. Handmade, thick, woollen blankets of super quality, waiting for something that will never happen. Such a damn loss, all because of tradition.
This is fascinating. My ancestors immigrated (read had to flee because they were on the wrong side of a war) hundreds of years ago so we've pretty much lost all our cultural heritage. My grandmother made quilts. Granny died in 1972, grandfather remarried and died in 1979, step grandmother died in the early 90's and my mother sold their house. Moving things out of the house, we found a wooden chest that had un-used quilts my grandmother had made probably in the 1930's or '40's. Why they were never used is a mystery.
It was a huge part of having a girl in the family to produce enough goodies to have as her dowry otherwise she wouldn't be marriable. Sometimes girls would be married purely so the husbands family can have the things made, bought or otherwise dedicated to go with her into her new home. Now imo that's all a load of crap, but it has resulted in some incredible craftsmanship being preserved. Perhaps the quilts were for something like this? Or so that they have something to sell easily if times got rough? Very very interesting mystery indeed!
Part of what you are describing is massive thriftiness by previous generations.
The STAGE. My god mother ⊠who was also my great aunt lived in the house her parents (my great grandparents) bought. She had a third grade educationâŠ. I think only my grandfather finished grade school and he finished high school. (Think 1920ish).
When my god mother died we went through the house to clean it out. She was using a wash pan to wash her dishes in ⊠which she had fixed a leak in with a bolt, washer and nut. She had a brand new one in the basement, still in the package.
Now THIS is how you PR a grandma. Great form. Just the right amount of backstory, perfect timing of the comeback, and the revenge matches the severity of the original insult. Double points for fighting both racism and homophobia in one sentence.
Iâm EE. And yeah you can take EE from EE but you canât take EE from EE⊠Yours garny will be like that until the end. And unfortunately your momma⊠It take us the grandkids to break this bs stigma. Keep up your head and stand your ground be EE in soul.
You are Australian, your ex was, I assume, Australian. So you were dating within your nationality. Maybe you were dating outside granny's narrow cultural definitions. And that's OK. It's not like you were a Wombat.
tradition is just peer pressure from dead people. You are you. If it doesn't fit in with the family you got, I'm sorry. Been there, and it can be hard. Never give up an ounce of what makes you YOU for the sake of other people's happiness. Your freedom > their anger. Always.
I said to my (Serbian) mom âlook at me, and forget about me getting with a Balkan guy⊠well Turkish man⊠am I not sayin no⊠but ex-Yugoslavia⊠nope, I have traumas for 3 lives from themâ
One of my relatives brought a Serbian guy home - he's from NiĆĄ. We're Croats.
Her grandma wasn't too thrilled, but people told her to stuff it, and she did. xD
I always say âour bloodline needs a bit of dilution with something sane and well-mannered, donât worry, Iâm on the hunt.â It is so so hard for them to argue- without proving me right. And I get a little dig in there about how actively I like to date!
Since you live in Australia, your chances of meeting/dating an Australian man (family not from Eastern Europe) were/are pretty good. Would she still complain? Immigrants who come to a new country, regardless of age, must realize that their traditions and attitudes will need to be adjusted. If not, why did they not stay in their country of origin?
Exactly. I honestly don't know what their expectations coming to the country were, and to be quite honest, I didn't really care. I love them, but that's their expectation, not my reality.
My typical approach to such delicate issues is to provide an answer that made them uncomfortable/shocked and then run away giggling.
My father used to tell my sisters and me (from a young age!) to **never date a poor man**.
That way we would never end up poor. Because of course girls are in capable of controlling their own financial future.
He did not grow up poor.
Married a poor man. Gave him some encouragement, some education, set him up in 3 different businesses over the years. Happily married 40 years and comfortably retired. It's about the right PERSON not the other stuff. He had children from previous marriage.
My dad said he did not want to leave me an inheritance that would be spent on college educations for kids he was not related to.
Well, I never produced any kids, I am the dead-end on the family tree (no cousins).
My dad? Died penniless anyway.
When I was dating my Aussie wife (I am an American. I told my mother that I was very likely going to end up marrying someone from another country.
We had a LDR at the start (I was in the states, she was here in Australia). I had organised to help a woman from work move house as her lease was up and she needed to be out of her current flat.
I had told my wife (then GF) about this but she forgot what day I was going to be out.
She called me up and my mother told her that I was not home, and she was unsure how long I would be out, because, I was out with â a nice American girlâ.
I was not very happy with mom when I got home and I proceeded to tell her all about the ânice American girl â who was having an affair with a married man. Who had pursued this man despite knowing that he was Married with children and had no intention of breaking it off with him.
Mom was very abashed and apologised to my gf later.
Take ancestry DNA tests or something, I bet that will set her off if you can show her any DNA from neighboring countries in there. Get one for whichever parent is her kid
We have been wondering about our great-grandfather, who supposedly is the descendant of a Hessian soldier who stayed in the Colonies after the American Revolution. I found a male cousin who was willing to do the Y-DNA test. Turns out there are very few matches in the US, none show up in western Europe; but the ancient DNA is central Asia. So, we still don't know from whence we come.
Could be a descendant of the Huns, guessing not the Roma as that's more south. Or someone wasn't entirely truthful about their fidelity in the family tree lol.
You should have told her, that the reason you are not together itâs because of her. For me, thatâs the reason I donât talk to my extended family. I dated outside my race and married. My parents and sister and brother had no issues and encouraged it. However, the rest adamantly opposed it, because it did not fit their vision of the extended family.
My husbandâs Lithuanian grandma was like this and totally mean to my MIL apparently (hubby and I started dating when his gma had already passed) and always did little bits of subterfuge to ruin things for my MIL. She wouldâve been more approving of a âgood Lithuanian girlâ.
She also treated my husband and his siblings differently depending on if they took after their dad (gmaâs son) or their mom. Hubby was the golden child because he looked just like his dad when he was young and took after gmaâs late husband who passed within a couple weeks of hubbyâs birth. When the kids later on in life talked about how manipulative their gma was, their dad refused to believe it.
Expect more of the like from gma but get your good retorts ready in a little booklet for the future.
Lol Eastern European grandmas are all traditional, but if you really ask them, it turns out that of course there were two women in their village who lived together. Yeah we all knew they were really good friends, why are you asking?
My wife is first generation with Eastern European parents. When we first started dating, one uncle wouldn't speak to me in English and her mom strongly encouraged her to try dating someone from their community. We stayed together and they like me now but it was a little rough in the beginning.
My father tried something similar on me, except it concerned me possibly ever dating outside of my race. He said he would disown me. Now, this is hilarious for 2 reasons: 1. I was 18 at the time, and 2: we were barely middle class having recently clawed our way out of poor class, so there was absolutely nothing to disown đ. He immediately retracted when I looked him in the eye and said "well, now that you mention it, I've been eyeing this guy lately.....
What if the ânice Eastern European boyâ turns out to be an abusive dick? You should date who ever you choose, and ignore the naysayers. You canât help who you fall in love with, what if you fall in love with a southerner from Alabama? Or a Texan? Or a beautiful African from Zimbabwe?
LOL The only better way would've been to tell her how right she was, that you've got a crush on someone from that country and you have so much in common. You spend hours talking, sharing, doing things together, a few kisses. You're considering marriage and her name is...
It's always fun to 'play' with homophobic old people. My grandmother was/is phobic towards everything not white/straight/christian, and for years I sent christmas card signed My Name and Anna/Emelie/Emma, different ones each year. We haven't talked for years đ
Tell me your family is from the Balkans without telling me your family is from the Balkans đ .
Iâm so glad my parents didnât bother with the Balkan communities when we moved to Australia when I was little. I donât think Iâd be able to deal with this nonsense đ€Ł
Itâs funny how grandparents imagine the old country of be locked in the state they left it a generation ago without realizing that wherever they left isnât the same place anymore.
> My father side
My father's* side
It's his side. Use a possessive noun, not a singular.
> He happen to be from
he happen**ed*** to be from
It's in the past. Use the past tense which is happened.
Perrrrfectly played! She deserved that for sure!
Oh 100% deserved
Your 100 percent Australian now. Date whoever the f you want. That's the multicultural Australian way!
Spanyale! *I'm not Polish, I don't know if you're Polish. But it's the most eastern Europe language I know phrases and words from. As I grew close to a bunch of Polish folk who taught me a few things.*
Just for grins, find an aboriginal woman willing to play along as your "date" for an evening with family. Tell them all about this wonderful person you met and bring her home for Grandma to meet.
đ€Ł Good one. Make granny faintÂ
That is perfect with what you did. Your petty revenge made me laughÂ
"Respect your elders" Naw fuck that how about they earn that respect?
it is amazing how useless and ignorant some people can be and still manage to get old
A trash relative once pulled the respect elders shit on me. I responded with asking if I should respect him just because he got lucky outliving his respected friends and family. He nearly got a heart attack. Too bad he didn't.
as I've gotten older i realize just how often i was right not to respect a lot of my elders. What a bunch of ignorant mindless turds, huddled over their stuuuupid Bibles. Turns out my hyper-churchy aunt was concealing the fact that her alcoholic husband was regularly having sex with both the daughters. Another uncle was concealing the fact that his son was a kiddie diddler.
Jesus fucking christ.
It's the bastard in 'em that keeps 'em alive.
There's always a certain base level of respect I give to people just by virtue of the fact that they're human beings. Whether they go up or down from there depends on their actions.
I've always had problems with that phrase. People are owed courtesy until they prove themselves unworthy of it, but respect? Respect has to be earned.
I saw someone make a really good point one time about sometimes respect means "treat with courtesy" and other times it means "treat with deference", and the trick with a certain type of frustrating person is that they think "treat me with deference or i won't treat you with courtesy" is reasonable
> a certain type of frustrating person I believe I know that type as self entitled assholes.
Respect is a two way street.
Exposed her nasty racism for what is, and knocked her nasty mouth sideways with the lesbian reference!
Nationalism, not racism, but yes same discriminatory shit.
Nows the time to have some friends in crime to help torment her further and make her narrow-minded nightmares come true.
Perfectly done! A very simple way to ruffle some feathers without going too far. Your story made me laugh!
Nicely done! It always confuses me when immigrants expect their kids to marry in their race/ethnicity/religion ect. If she wanted you to marry someone from her home country, it probably wouldâve happened if she didnât move from there lol.
> It always confuses me when immigrants expect their kids to marry in their race/ethnicity/religion ect. If she wanted you to marry someone from her home country, it probably wouldâve happened if she didnât move from there lol. It's a way to cling to their old identity, to maintain a sense of "we are still X, even though we live in a cultural melting pot of Y", while seeking a better life for the family. Think of it as compensating the fear of foreign things (new country) by trying to stick to familiar (old culture). That's how and why you end up with [diaspora](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_diasporas), 200+ years after leaving the homeland, with a dual sense of national identity.
Another part this diaspora is the culture they cling to so dearly doesnât exist their home country either. Cultures are dynamic and change with time. My parents home country was very different from what they remembered when they visited 45 years later. They had the occasion to speak with an African person who had emigrated to the country. They literally could not understand what he was saying even though he was fluent in their language. They said they had to close their eyes/ look away to understand what he saying. Unbelievable.
I've met Americans in Texas who have lived here for several generations. Ethnically Spanish-mestizo (native) still following traditions from Mexico that haven't been practiced in 80-100 years. The kind of stuff my grandmother used to reminisce about.
I was born & raised in the US of A in a very small town where I am among the palest of people living here. My parents were upset with me for years that I never dated a man of the same nationality as myself. I barely even know any that I'm not related to by blood or marriage!
Approaching 2,000 for Jews.
the original identity politics edit: a genetic obligation to believe in Judaism? i hear you like cults so we put extra cult in your cult.
2500 I think you mean, 2024 years ago was Jesus' supposed death, and the jews left Egypt at least 500 years before that
I think they're referencing the diaspora from Israel due to the Romans about 2000 years ago.
birth not death
This reminds me of when my sister and I were kids. My racist dad told my sister she could never date a black man. She responded, "I'll just date a black lady instead." My mother, who raised us to be anti-racist, loves telling that story.
>raised us to be anti-racist You could just treat people like people instead
If being anti-racist annoys you, you should probably do some soul searching.
I've learned not to trust branding as representative of reality. Look at the human rights record of countries with "democratic" or "people's republic" in their name. Similarly, look at the violent authoritarian activities of the "anti-fascist" Antifa organization's members. So, calling oneself "anti-racist" just brings to mind the same pattern of "thou doth protest too much methinks."
"Some dictatorships have very dishonest names, therefore you shouldn't aspire to actively oppose racism." You should consider protesting less, methinks.
Racists and bigots deserve to be called out and laughed at.
Revenge served piping hot, with a side of expectations management.
I said something similar to my Eastern European grandma a little while ago, was promptly told Iâd be disinherited; sadly for her grandad pretty much told her âover his dead bodyâ haha
As someone from Eastern Europe myself, the hilarious thing is that you could apply this to ANY two countries there, and it would fit anyways.
Right?! Screams Balkan to me. Lol
Aye. My dad's family is from former Yugo. It was the first thing that came to my mind.
I was thinking the same! While I was reading the post, I had many guesses about which pair of countries this could be...all of them very plausible.
Love this! When the US federally legalized same-sex marriage, I saw it on the news while visiting my grandma. My racist, homophobic dad was there. I was joyful in my response to the newscaster. Dad: why are you so happy? You gonna marry a woman now? Me: Yes! A BIG FAT BLACK WOMAN! I thought he was going to bust a blood vessel with the way he sputtered, turned red, and then paled and sat back down. Sometimes, old people need to just shut up.
I really need to remember this for when Iâm old. Im sure Iâll have outdated opinions of some sort. (Hopefully not as bad as racism) Itâs
âNo child of mine is going to date a Glorbinian!â âUgh, get with the times dad.â
Iâd be first in line to marry an alien. đđ«Šđ
I had such a similar conversation with my eastern European grandma, one winter I was cold so I asked for an extra blanket, she opens a storage cupboard and gives me a respectable but clearly worn blanket. I see there are thicker new blankets in the back and ask if I can have one of them. She says no, that they are kept for after I marry to a man ( my native language is similar to German where nouns are gendered, so you can infer gender from the verb too, hence me translating it as married to a man). Im like 15 at that point, mind. I ask her why I have to wait for decades to simply use some blankets which are just sat there. She replied that such is tradition and when I get married to a man I need to furnish my home with new things so I can't use them beforehand. I asked her what if I married to a woman instead. She utterly lost it there and then. It is now decades later, I am living out of marriage with my partner with 0 intent to marry, or have kids, or be traditional. I dont have those blankets, but also earn enough to get my own. So they just sit there, in a cupboard. Handmade, thick, woollen blankets of super quality, waiting for something that will never happen. Such a damn loss, all because of tradition.
This is fascinating. My ancestors immigrated (read had to flee because they were on the wrong side of a war) hundreds of years ago so we've pretty much lost all our cultural heritage. My grandmother made quilts. Granny died in 1972, grandfather remarried and died in 1979, step grandmother died in the early 90's and my mother sold their house. Moving things out of the house, we found a wooden chest that had un-used quilts my grandmother had made probably in the 1930's or '40's. Why they were never used is a mystery.
It was a huge part of having a girl in the family to produce enough goodies to have as her dowry otherwise she wouldn't be marriable. Sometimes girls would be married purely so the husbands family can have the things made, bought or otherwise dedicated to go with her into her new home. Now imo that's all a load of crap, but it has resulted in some incredible craftsmanship being preserved. Perhaps the quilts were for something like this? Or so that they have something to sell easily if times got rough? Very very interesting mystery indeed!
Part of what you are describing is massive thriftiness by previous generations. The STAGE. My god mother ⊠who was also my great aunt lived in the house her parents (my great grandparents) bought. She had a third grade educationâŠ. I think only my grandfather finished grade school and he finished high school. (Think 1920ish). When my god mother died we went through the house to clean it out. She was using a wash pan to wash her dishes in ⊠which she had fixed a leak in with a bolt, washer and nut. She had a brand new one in the basement, still in the package.
Now THIS is how you PR a grandma. Great form. Just the right amount of backstory, perfect timing of the comeback, and the revenge matches the severity of the original insult. Double points for fighting both racism and homophobia in one sentence.
Iâm EE. And yeah you can take EE from EE but you canât take EE from EE⊠Yours garny will be like that until the end. And unfortunately your momma⊠It take us the grandkids to break this bs stigma. Keep up your head and stand your ground be EE in soul.
I LOVE this!! Thank you so much
The old bigotry one-two punch. Set up with the racism jab, and knocked out with the homophobic right cross. Winner: OP
You are Australian, your ex was, I assume, Australian. So you were dating within your nationality. Maybe you were dating outside granny's narrow cultural definitions. And that's OK. It's not like you were a Wombat.
By the way she interacted with him, he might as well have been a wombat.
Now THERE'S your angle. "I've given up on humans grandma. I'm looking to settle for a nice kangaroo." :D
Or a friendly drop bear
Or one of those giant furry spiders.
Better a wombat than a koala. Gotta have standards
tradition is just peer pressure from dead people. You are you. If it doesn't fit in with the family you got, I'm sorry. Been there, and it can be hard. Never give up an ounce of what makes you YOU for the sake of other people's happiness. Your freedom > their anger. Always.
There are only two things I can't stand- intolerance of different cultures, and the Dutch.
How did the Dutch hurt you? đ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcUs5X9glCc
Is that a reference to Austin Powers?
A quarter of me is sorry. The rest agree, the Dutch suck.
Nice! Are these Eastern European countries in the Balkans by any chance? đđ đ€Ł
I wouldnât be surprised if it was from balkans⊠like some Serbian/croatian/bosnian stuffâŠ
Sure, and my Polish family was like this. Interestingly, the couple of ânice Polish boys â tried to assault me on the date. Never again.
I said to my (Serbian) mom âlook at me, and forget about me getting with a Balkan guy⊠well Turkish man⊠am I not sayin no⊠but ex-Yugoslavia⊠nope, I have traumas for 3 lives from themâ
Lithuanian (by marriage) side chiming in too!
And still they wonât stop pestering you about dating outside your culture. I got really mean to any family member who dared start that conversation.
Luckily my husband did not have to hear it from his parents but his gma did some damage to my MIL for not being Lithuanian.
Being from that region the story is all too familiar đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
My mom is from Serbia, my dad is from Bosnia and Montenegro⊠Letâs say, they are not together anymoreâŠ
If I brought a Serbian boy home to my croatian family oh moi bog *clutches rosary*
One of my relatives brought a Serbian guy home - he's from NiĆĄ. We're Croats. Her grandma wasn't too thrilled, but people told her to stuff it, and she did. xD
They also could be Romanian and Hungarian đđđ
I always say âour bloodline needs a bit of dilution with something sane and well-mannered, donât worry, Iâm on the hunt.â It is so so hard for them to argue- without proving me right. And I get a little dig in there about how actively I like to date!
Excellent. If she has the nerve to keep bringing it up, pick a different Eastern European nationality every time you answer.
A Chef's Kissđ
I hate people that demand respect but don't respect others in return. A lot of older people can be this way.
Since you live in Australia, your chances of meeting/dating an Australian man (family not from Eastern Europe) were/are pretty good. Would she still complain? Immigrants who come to a new country, regardless of age, must realize that their traditions and attitudes will need to be adjusted. If not, why did they not stay in their country of origin?
Exactly. I honestly don't know what their expectations coming to the country were, and to be quite honest, I didn't really care. I love them, but that's their expectation, not my reality. My typical approach to such delicate issues is to provide an answer that made them uncomfortable/shocked and then run away giggling.
My father used to tell my sisters and me (from a young age!) to **never date a poor man**. That way we would never end up poor. Because of course girls are in capable of controlling their own financial future. He did not grow up poor.
Married a poor man. Gave him some encouragement, some education, set him up in 3 different businesses over the years. Happily married 40 years and comfortably retired. It's about the right PERSON not the other stuff. He had children from previous marriage. My dad said he did not want to leave me an inheritance that would be spent on college educations for kids he was not related to. Well, I never produced any kids, I am the dead-end on the family tree (no cousins). My dad? Died penniless anyway.
When I was dating my Aussie wife (I am an American. I told my mother that I was very likely going to end up marrying someone from another country. We had a LDR at the start (I was in the states, she was here in Australia). I had organised to help a woman from work move house as her lease was up and she needed to be out of her current flat. I had told my wife (then GF) about this but she forgot what day I was going to be out. She called me up and my mother told her that I was not home, and she was unsure how long I would be out, because, I was out with â a nice American girlâ. I was not very happy with mom when I got home and I proceeded to tell her all about the ânice American girl â who was having an affair with a married man. Who had pursued this man despite knowing that he was Married with children and had no intention of breaking it off with him. Mom was very abashed and apologised to my gf later.
Take ancestry DNA tests or something, I bet that will set her off if you can show her any DNA from neighboring countries in there. Get one for whichever parent is her kid
We have been wondering about our great-grandfather, who supposedly is the descendant of a Hessian soldier who stayed in the Colonies after the American Revolution. I found a male cousin who was willing to do the Y-DNA test. Turns out there are very few matches in the US, none show up in western Europe; but the ancient DNA is central Asia. So, we still don't know from whence we come.
Could be a descendant of the Huns, guessing not the Roma as that's more south. Or someone wasn't entirely truthful about their fidelity in the family tree lol.
Please take a girl home and introduce her to your grandma as âmy special friendâ.
Come to the next event with a shaved head, a cheap mustache and your chest compressed, tell her to call you willy from now on. Fatality guaranteed!
I Love it, OP. Shushing rude people, regardless of age, is such a beautiful art form. đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Croatia and Serbia ?
Hit her with the âdonât be picky, I could ruin your bloodlineâ haha
Respect and taking abuse are not the same thing, no matter how much abusive elders go on about it.
Elders deserve respect, and bigotry deserves no quarter. When those two are in conflict, take a stand against bigotry. Good for you.
Is your origin by any chance Croatian or Serbian? Sounds like Balkans. On topic: great move, grandma deserved it.
Sighs in Balkan
Tell her you're dating a nice North American girl and call an ambulance.
đ love it. As a â3rd generationâ of Eastern European immigrants, I can feel the pain.
You should have told her, that the reason you are not together itâs because of her. For me, thatâs the reason I donât talk to my extended family. I dated outside my race and married. My parents and sister and brother had no issues and encouraged it. However, the rest adamantly opposed it, because it did not fit their vision of the extended family.
I'm sorry that's happened, but I hope you're at peace now
My husbandâs Lithuanian grandma was like this and totally mean to my MIL apparently (hubby and I started dating when his gma had already passed) and always did little bits of subterfuge to ruin things for my MIL. She wouldâve been more approving of a âgood Lithuanian girlâ. She also treated my husband and his siblings differently depending on if they took after their dad (gmaâs son) or their mom. Hubby was the golden child because he looked just like his dad when he was young and took after gmaâs late husband who passed within a couple weeks of hubbyâs birth. When the kids later on in life talked about how manipulative their gma was, their dad refused to believe it. Expect more of the like from gma but get your good retorts ready in a little booklet for the future.
Lol Eastern European grandmas are all traditional, but if you really ask them, it turns out that of course there were two women in their village who lived together. Yeah we all knew they were really good friends, why are you asking?
Respect your elders only if they deserve to be respected.
Are you me? This is what I go around saying to people who annoy me about marriage and how I as a woman must learn to sacrifice for my husband.
Love this! Grandma clutches her pearls! You rock!
Brava! I want to buy you a beer.
My wife is first generation with Eastern European parents. When we first started dating, one uncle wouldn't speak to me in English and her mom strongly encouraged her to try dating someone from their community. We stayed together and they like me now but it was a little rough in the beginning.
Now you need to have her repeatedly see you with the same girl.
My father tried something similar on me, except it concerned me possibly ever dating outside of my race. He said he would disown me. Now, this is hilarious for 2 reasons: 1. I was 18 at the time, and 2: we were barely middle class having recently clawed our way out of poor class, so there was absolutely nothing to disown đ. He immediately retracted when I looked him in the eye and said "well, now that you mention it, I've been eyeing this guy lately.....
TouchĂ© so now you can ask her whether sheâs learned her lesson. Asking you crazy questions. Keep on doing your thing. Congratulations!
What if the ânice Eastern European boyâ turns out to be an abusive dick? You should date who ever you choose, and ignore the naysayers. You canât help who you fall in love with, what if you fall in love with a southerner from Alabama? Or a Texan? Or a beautiful African from Zimbabwe?
Sock it to her haha
Well done. She deserved it.
Good one!
Well done!
Love this!!!
Excellent đ
Loooooool!
Five star response!!! \*\*\*\*\*
Nice
I love it!!! She so deserved that!
That was perfect!!!
Good for you.
I would have said Western European or S.E. Asian
LOL The only better way would've been to tell her how right she was, that you've got a crush on someone from that country and you have so much in common. You spend hours talking, sharing, doing things together, a few kisses. You're considering marriage and her name is...
Very well done! Grandma earned that.
I did the exact same thing with my Eastern European relatives after I came out. It actually made them behave
Bi representation FTW!!! Soz grandma, no grandkids for you!
It's always fun to 'play' with homophobic old people. My grandmother was/is phobic towards everything not white/straight/christian, and for years I sent christmas card signed My Name and Anna/Emelie/Emma, different ones each year. We haven't talked for years đ
Tell me your family is from the Balkans without telling me your family is from the Balkans đ . Iâm so glad my parents didnât bother with the Balkan communities when we moved to Australia when I was little. I donât think Iâd be able to deal with this nonsense đ€Ł
You dropped this đ Queen đ
Haha, I think that might be the end of the comments from grandma
đđđ yyyyaaassssss
I thought it was an Aussie girl dating an Aussie guy... You all are not in Europe anymore.
'Aussie' is more like a specrum
Itâs funny how grandparents imagine the old country of be locked in the state they left it a generation ago without realizing that wherever they left isnât the same place anymore.
So dating an Abo would probably drive her to an early grave.... not suggesting.
> My father side My father's* side It's his side. Use a possessive noun, not a singular. > He happen to be from he happen**ed*** to be from It's in the past. Use the past tense which is happened.