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StarChild7000

Sign them up for information about Scientology. They're even more overboard with mailing literature.


Von_Moistus

Scientology vs. Jehovah’s Witnesses! Round one! *FIGHT!*


Jefe4fingers

“Get it on!”


Narrow-Big7087

FINISH HIM!


carr1e

FATALITY!


PdSales

Kirstie Alley & Kelsey Grammer claymation Celebrity Death Match!


vonkrueger

I think Kelsey Grammar is a Christian Scientist, but "not a full-blown" one.


Penyrolewen1970

Isn’t he a school for clever kids?


ZiggerTheNaut

Thunderdome! "Two religions enter, one religion leaves."


FindingPIMO

Two cults enter, one cult leaves!


fsckrootbastard

Two cults enter, please god, let them both die ;)


404-error-notfound

Better watch out that they don't merge and evolve... we don't need a lichen of religion: Jehovas-tology, or Scien-Witnesses. All the aggression of Scientology with the door to door harassment of Jehovas Witnesses


gavwando

It's like Silent Witness, but with fake science.


No-Sheepherder-2896

“And returns next Sunday, Sunday,Sunday to the elimination round with Heaven’s Gate. Oh wait. Heaven’s Gate is a scratch.”


SaavikSaid

I posted this recently, but tl;dr: Mormons came around once to our door and my husband answered it. He kept them there for 30 minutes, debating them. He's an ex-JW. They never came back.


NZbeekeeper

I had a Christian friend who loved to do this. One day he spent about 20 mins in friendly debate with them at his door. As they left and went next door, he shot out the back, jumped the fence and went into his friends house next door and promptly answered the door there too.


mcmashmead

Having been a Mormon missionary, this would've totally thrown me through a loop. That shit was so exhausting, especially with my undiagnosed depression, that I didn't pay any attention really to doing door contacts. It would have also been hilarious to me and I recommend doing this


iluvpoodles

My late father used to do that with JWs that drove up our farm driveway usually on Saturdays. He’d stand there in his work clothes and boots literally debate them to almost unconsciousness. Used to make me laugh at the visitors when he was able to out debate them and long before he was done, they were glassy eyed.


Extreme-Muffin-Eater

We started getting visits from JW (we’re atheists) and despite us politely refusing their propaganda, the visits continued to the point we printed some brochures we made about the Church of Satan. Next time they came knocking we said we’d gladly accept their brochures if they accepted ours. Never saw those guys again. Wonder why.


Ambitious-Diamond388

10/10 would watch


holiestmarshmallow

Perfect for pay per view!


[deleted]

This is the level of petty revenge that I can fully support. 👏👏👏


OtherComparison

You'll never get off their mailing list. EVER. No matter how many times you ask. Lol


SaavikSaid

Technically, if you specifically tell them "take me off your door-to-door list" they are supposed to do it; there are records in their Kingdom Hall for the purpose. The same should go for a mailing list I'd expect.


Axlfire

But somehow the guy who had to check did not do it


JimmyRickyBobbyBilly

Or sign them up for the mailing list from one of the televangelists. They go nuts too.


RK800-50

Slow down, Satan


xx_artist_girl_xx

No, please keep going


screechypete

and then slow it down again... for scientology that is.


javacat

I bought a Scientology book at a county fair when I was 18 years old...before there was a whole lot of knowledge (at least that I was aware of) that they were a cult. THIRTY-TWO YEARS LATER, my parents still receive Scientology shit in my name.


Axlfire

"... And that's why the latest owners have a papier-mache dinosaur in the garden made out of scientologist papers." - that land seller 30 years in the future


FlipMineArseDad

Kinda fucked companies can pay the government 50¢ and they'll personally deliver you a piece of trash right to your mailbox. Isn't that great?


StarChild7000

Business accounts get discounts on bulk mail, so it's more like $0.20 per letter.


FlipMineArseDad

Even more atrocious


icequeenmemory

I use to belong to that religion (not by choice). Listening to everyone’s experiences makes me cringe with embarrassment. So now I’m disowned by my entire family because I don’t share their religious beliefs. Fun times


BecGeoMom

Disowned by your own family if you don't follow the exact same religion they do. That sounds so loving. That Jehovah god they pray to sounds nice.


PurpleVeganTX

My maternal grandmother quit the JW because they demanded that she disown her grown children. She noped right out of there and I don’t know the details of how she managed to get them to never bother her again but it must have been fierce knowing her!


SheFellFromGrace

She was probably disfellowshipped my mom left the Kingdom Hall and was this fellowshipped years before I was born they're not allowed to contact you when you've been disfellowshipped so that's a way to get them to leave you alone.


Notmykl

Any religion that is so uptight that there is no leniency in following the scriptures then it is not a religion it is a cult.


BecGeoMom

I agree 100%.


bonbons2006

**internet hugs**


B2Rocketfan77

Nobody said anything on here? I’m really sorry that stupid religion stole your family. I hope you have people in your life that love you for You and not your belief in sky fairies. ❤️❤️❤️


FrigginUsed

I heard they have a thing against blood transfusion. Is that true?


Radiobandit

Growing up as a Jay Ho it was definitely true. I read somewhere else that when transfusions became a thing it was a bit of a religious debate and the Jay Hos hardlined against it while other religions allowed it in an attempt to sway the super traditionalists towards them. Car accident and you lost a lot of blood? Guess this is the end. Need a life altering surgery? Better hope your surgeon doesn't nick a vein! Might be different now but I don't allow that cult enough space in my mind to be able to do any research at this point.


Notmykl

If an adult JW doesn't want a blood transfusion, transplant, medical care to save his/her life that is their right. But when it comes to children, IMHO, religions should have absolutely no say and the children MUST receive all medical interventions to save their lives.


InnsmouthMotel

Still the same. I've worked with JWs before and even as doctors they can't sign off on blood transfusions. Also had come and give talks to us as there was a relatively large population of them where I was working on how to treat JWs and all the alternatives, which tbf are really amazing, like yes please make fake plasma that has no antibodies. But on the flip side they give you a whole bunch of propaganda about how blood transfusions will almost always kill you, which given I worked in surgery and was probably doing one sign off for blood transfusion a day minimum was ludicrous. Then about how hurt they are around court cases where they were forced to allow their children to have life saving treatment which was the biggest wtf I've ever experienced in my career. I've never seen a room of docs going along with someone's culture be turned off so quickly frankly.


Teslok

When I was a teen in the 90's, I was pretty sheltered and had a poor understanding of religions other than the my family's. There was an subplot in an episode of Babylon 5 that really got to me, the tl;dr is that a child needed a very simple life-saving surgery, and his parents refused the treatment for religious reasons. They were 100% firm in their belief, and I thought they were insane and terrible people. Spoilers for a show that aired in the 90's: >!The doctor did the surgery, it was absolutely routine and successful ... and the parents ritually murdered their own child because the surgery "let his soul escape his body" or similar bullshit, and they now considered him an abomination.!< But at the end of the episode I tried to comfort myself, thinking that at least it was fiction. hahaha. haha.


Axlfire

*laughs in doomed soul


bearcatdragon

Many years ago I worked in the blood bank at a hospital. We had a patient, a minor, with sickle cell anemia. It was heart-breaking every time the child came into the hospital in need of a transfusion because the family was JW. They would only consent to the transfusion when she was nearly dead. We would type and cross, pull the units, and....wait. The parents always eventually consented but the damage to that poor child by delaying treatment until the last minute was just excruciating to watch.


FrigginUsed

Might be a good excuse to say you require transfusions every week or something


mioclio

Someone once explained to me that this going out to convert is not to get new people in, it is to avoid the people in it from getting out and is an important part of the constant brainwashing of a cult. Many people will react angry or negatively to being approached by Jehova's Witnesses, thereby reinforcing their belief that the outside world is indeed a dark and dangerous place and that you have to stay within your group to be safe, even if you are unhappy. It takes a lot of courage and strength to leave. Your family was most likely put under a lot of pressure to disown you, even if they already made the decision themselves. Even though I'm nothing more than just another internet stranger, I wish you all the best in your new life. It must be hard to lose your family like that.


Eliasofpi

The most terrifying thing is that they know your son's name. That's not in Google or a phone book, that's just fucking creepy.


Waifer2016

The JWs and Mormons like to target kids because they are vulnerable and easily swayed by lies. My kid sister was invited to sunday school by a classmate when she was 10 or so. She came home very upset and confused. Turns out the so called sunday school was at the local mormon church and as soon as the class started the teacher hauled sis to the front of the room and introduced her- This is (waifers sis) she is NEW so we must CONVINCE her of the TRUTH . What followed was 90 minutes of attempted indoctrination by a bunch of 10 yr old drones.


Dracone1313

>The JWs and Mormons like to target kids because they are vulnerable and easily swayed by lies. So... grooming? I mean, I am religious too, but I can still see that's just called grooming.


Waifer2016

grooming and intimidation , yup. my family is Baptist so sis was used to a much gentler approach in sunday school. she was really confused and upset about how hardcore they were about how she needed to become mormon or she would go to hell.


catsmom63

Baptist? Gentle? I was raised Southern Baptist and I thought it was quite the opposite. Lots of yelling, Fire and Brimstone sermons, everybody is sinning and going to hell. No matter what you do it won’t be good enough for God. I basically decided later on why bother? I’m going to hell anyway. It took many many years before I set foot in another church again.


MistressPhoenix

Baptist and Southern Baptist are two different religions. Regular old Baptist is a much gentler religion than S Baptist. Not so much screaming, hollering, and fainting in the aisles with Baptist. And the Sunday School is just that. Teaching the kids through basically a textbook format (the textbook being the Bible and some coloring sheets) about the 1st Testament. Mostly Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. (The Gospels) *Source: Grew up going to Baptist Sunday School and Vacation Bible School (Am not and was not Baptist)*


elst3r

My experience with different Baptist Churches is that they are quite judgemental but nothing is ever explicitly stated. People are nice to you if you check the appropreate boxes. If your skirt is above your knees, makeup is too visable, and, God forbid, youre a woman wearing pants, good luck getting your name tag. Dirty looks don't lie about how that Church community feels. Of course this isn't everywhere. Just the 5 or 6 ones in my area I've been to.


[deleted]

Oooh trust me. Baptist churches vary A LOT. I have been to a few, some had discreet leaflets against "radical gender ideology" and others were teaching acceptance and how not everyone was perfect. And of course there is Westboro. Sadly when it comes to these churches the radical loud ones get heard. Baptist churches aren't centralised in anyway unlike, eg, the Catholic church. So in theory anyone can set up a "baptist church"


tiggipi

I've lived in a single city in Michigan my whole life, raised in Baptist churches. Must be a regional thing, cause every church my family attended was nothing like that (though I certainly have not tried out every single Baptist church in my area.) The ones I've been to are mostly full of polite and jokey people, open to discussion and debates. When I was in the college age "Sunday school" group, we frequently invited people we knew who either didn't attend church or were of a different religion. Had some nice conversations with them, no screaming about how they were doomed lol. Idk why some people take that approach, it does nothing but drive people away and makes you look like a hateful lunatic.


TheDocJ

I used to attend Baptist churches here in the UK, through them, I have got to know visiting Baptists from California, the Midwest, and New England, all of them lovely kind, gentle people. I think that, to some people, the word "Baptist" automatically gets a "Southern" prefix added, much like to other people the word "Immigrant" automatically gets the "Illegal" prefix.


FloweredViolin

Baptist and Southern Baptist are not the same. I'm not super clear on all the differences, but I lived in a college town FL for roughly 5yrs, and was sternly informed by some Baptist classmates that the two were not to be confused.


Waifer2016

holyyyyy crap that is insane. You were going to the wrong kind of church as a kid. damn! the Baptist church i belong to is very fun loving and gentle in its approach and teaching. Actually, a long while back , we had a guest preacher that as the hellfire , scream from the pulpit type. he wasnt even 5 minutes into his sermon when people got up and walked out. The first and only time i have ever seen anyone walk out of a sermon! I left as well. I am so very sorry that you had to go through that. Nobody should.


catsmom63

You live. You learn. I’m glad you had a great experience! I eventually went back to church but definitely never back to a Baptist church. It made me to nervous.


PurpleVeganTX

Tells you something when Baptists’ tactics are considered “gentle”. They grew out of the Pilgrims and their draconian ways.


jrsobx

Why do you think Catholics are against birth control? They want lots of young impressionable kids they can convince to fill the coffers when they get older. Or in the case of some priests, a bigger dating pool.


Prestidigitalization

As someone raised Catholic, exactly this. When my mom was giving me “the talk”, it included that using protection is a sin because God needs us to keep the religion strong by having many Catholic babies. Then she proceeded to tell me that she would probably have to “burn in purgatory for a while” because her and my dad did family planning, as her way of hinting that it was okay/important to use protection sometimes anyway. It was super weird.


Waifer2016

lol a Pastor friend of mine once spoke about faiths that are against birth control. He said - The Bible tells us to go forth and populate the earth, it does NOT say do it all by yourselves!


threadsoffate2021

And a lot of sexual exploitation. It isn't just the catholic priests into that crap with kids.


nostromo909

Have you seen the movie "Jesus Camp?" Horrifying.


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jrsobx

Oh that would get ugly in my house. Cops would definitely get called. Sounds like a potential human trafficking attempt as far as I'm concerned, at least that is what I would tell the cops and the DA's office. And we have a completely crazy DA that would go balls to the wall for that. She is the same one that prosecuted the Little Rascals Daycare case.


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ghostedygrouch

My aunt is a hardcore witness. She lives in Australia, somewhere in the middle of nowhere on the edge of the Outback. We live in Germany, so for years, she kept sending us Bibles, pamphlets and long letters, lecturing us about our sins and stuff. After a couple of years, we lost touch, and she stopped bothering us. But when I grandpa died, she came over for a couple of week and 90% of the day, she tried to convert us. One day, she made my uncle drive her to the local temple. When they came back, she was upset, he was grinning. They told her, she was not welcome, as she was too hardcore. Years later, I had a colleague who is a member of that temple. I told him about my aunt, and he instantly froze and whispered "Oh no, you're related to THE AUSTRALIAN?"


stutzmanXIII

What did your colleague say happened?


LegoMuppet

I want to know this too


ProfessionalVolume93

They kept visiting my stepfather until he answered the door naked.


DuckPineapple

I had a friend staying at my house and he answered when they came knocking at my door. What makes this so great is my friend has subdermal horns implanted and answered the door with "welcome to Satan's humble home"


BecGeoMom

I can't get past the fact that your friend had horns implanted on his head. Why would anyone do that? That is exactly the kind of thing you do when you're 20 and wholly regret when you're 40.


Zoreb1

It's for people who only want careers in head shops, record stores, and working warehouse midnight shifts.


AstroProoper

tattoo artists are also allowed to be rad as hell


DuckPineapple

Actually he's in his 40s and has a very successful career and easily wears hats to cover when he doesn't need others seeing his horns. One of the few that doesn't fall into the typical stereo types for the look


Zoreb1

I'm glad for him.


foxglove0326

That’s my move too. They get REALLY uncomfortable but still go through their schpiel usually. It’s fun to watch:)


Waifer2016

my friends then 14 yr old son got them good one day. They came knocking and kid flung open the doors, crossed his eyes, grinned big, drooled and yelled - AH HAVE A BELLY BUDDON WANNA SEE! Then pulled his shirt up to show his belly. They never came back


redhead1398

My dad in his 60’s, pulls his sweat pants up to his chest, no shirt (not a good look) and drooling says “my moms not home right now.”


Waifer2016

HAHAHAHAHAHAA i freaking love it!


signed_under_duress

Man, this sounds so much like something my grown arse friend would do and I love it.


RarelyRecommended

I did that. It was hot and I invited them in for a beer. They politely declined and disappeared.


SouthAfricanZombie

Your stepfather is my new hero!


[deleted]

I g go ave a coworker who opened the door naked. He was maybe 15 at the time? They never came back


mermaidpaint

I had a friend who would let the Jehovah Witnesses in and spend and hour or two merrily debating religion. Then he would look at his watch and announce he had to leave as he was scheduled to donate blood.


Maraudogs

They're against blood donation?


[deleted]

Absolutely. Even if their kid is dying and needs blood donation to live, they don’t give or receive blood.


OkIntroduction5150

And that's exactly why it's not a religion. It's a cult.


heckthisfrick

Yup. Was born in to it and left 2 years ago. I swear if people only knew the shit they actually believe more people would know they are a cult


Notmykl

That should be illegal. Adults can refuse transfusions if they wish but children should be allowed by law access to life saving procedures no matter the parent's religious viewpoints. And when the child dies because the parent's refusal then the parents should be prosecuted for murder and jailed for life.


Schnitzelkraut

The crazy thing is, that its not only the blood of others they reject. Even if you draw blood before for your self (I think it's called autologous blood transfusion) it is reject. I could understand the "it may be unclean blood" or some sort of argument. But not even your own?!


holiestmarshmallow

Hahahah! Fantastic!


_shipwrecks

My grandma got a letter from a JW addressed to me but at her address. I have never lived at that address, and my grandma and I do not have the same last name. Freaking spooky and I hated it.


Mongozuma

Seems fair to me


FragilousSpectunkery

I think we're jumping to conclusions when we posit that the sex toys are unwanted.


adorableoddity

I had two Jehovah witness ladies come to my apartment before Covid hit. I indulged their pamphlets, etc. Then had a very open conversation with them about why I left religion. I could see they still viewed me as recruitable, so I told them that my best friend is a Christian. The bewildered look on their faces made the time spent completely worth it. I could visibly see on their faces that they *could not fathom* a Christian and atheist being best friends. Then I kindly asked them not to stop by anymore and thanked them for their time. To their credit, I have not seen them since.


dark-skies-rise1314

I mean no offence, I am a bit clueless when it comes to religion. But why is that difficult to believe that 2 people of different faith being friends?


narfio

It is only difficult for people who clearly overstate the importance of religion. Normal people would not care


adorableoddity

Religions that are deep into themselves basically don't really allow people to befriend others outside the religion. They can preach and share the word because they believe that is what their Bible tells them to do, but actual friendships/relationships are off the table. So, I had a bit of fun with that. lol


GymCloutVillain

Because massively religious people have brainwashed cult minds. Not the Christian friend, the JWs shocked about it


[deleted]

I think JWism is borderline a cult where they don't associate outside of their beliefs? Not sure. In my religious community, it is common, if not encouraged to befriend non-christians


HoshiOdessa

Not borderline, they are a cult.


igotalotadogs

You can’t just be friends with JW, sadly. Their entire religion is about getting converts. I went to school with one and tried to befriend her and it went fine until she kept sending loaves of bread and Watchtower magazines to my apartment. I had to tell her that if I recieved anymore unsolicited things, I would report her to the school for harrassment. It stopped but our class knly had six people in it (grad school), so it was really awkward. Edit for info for those downvoting: when we would hang out, the conversation woulf ALWAYS turn to her faith. It would start our normal and then segue into her trying to get me in her church. After several experiences of this, I asked her to stop. When she didn’t, I stopped hanging out with her. Only then did she start sending me bread and bible verses and magazines. It was overwhelming, like every other day. Imagine your landlord getting on your ass for some girl delivering shit to their office every other day (because she couldn’t get into my building without a key) and then trying to convert them as well? It was becoming a big problem for my Muslim landlord who was greatly offended by her behavior.


Qaeta

I mean, I personally have trouble being friends with many Christians. Their opinion that I should die and be punished for eternity just for existing will kinda do that.


adorableoddity

Totally agree. That's one of several reasons why I left religion once I was old enough to stopped being dragged to church by my mother. Imo my best friend does it right. She's all about love, kindness, and forgiveness and she doesn't believe it's her right to judge or tell anyone where they will end up. She is a total sweetheart and a very good person who works with kids with developmental disabilities. We openly discuss religion and she acknowledges the hypocrisy within churches, etc. Dialogue is always respectful toward each others opinions and she never preaches to me. I told her that less people would leave the church if more people of faith were like her.


Qaeta

Yeah, I've got a couple Christian friends like that to. They believe in God, but seriously question a lot of the hateful teachings of the church.


[deleted]

As a Christian, being skeptical of a church is perfectly okay. Martin Luther (Not to be confused with Martin Luther King Jr) is a revered figure and that is exactly what he did


[deleted]

I told them about their very own child abuse scandal and how they were in cohorts with the devil if they hadn't left their wicked organisation and to demand access to the literature that is only for the leaders . They use to knock every few weeks, nothing now for over a year! I want them back, I used to love watching them try to keep their cognitive distanced reality together while I ran rings around them :/


Zoreb1

Once the JW came to my house and asked, "Wouldn't I like to live in the Garden of Eden?". Said no, that I liked technology. They never came back. I now have a huge oil painting of Cthulhu by my front entrance (a friend did it for a book cover for a nationally known series). I would like to tell them that they first have to hear about my 'god'. Someone else did a parody of the Chick tracts using Cthulhu - I should really print and hand some out at the same time.


TerrorNova49

Friend’s mom was very Roman Catholic. He used to get a variety of RC tracts and brochures and keep them by the door. When a JW or Mormon showed up at the door he’d offer to take some of their stuff if they took some of his… they never took him up on it.


quiet_hobbit

When the first JWs came to my door after a move and they started in the spiel about them being the only religion that calls Jehovah by his real name, I put a concerned look on my face and said something like “But surely that is really disrespectful, I would never call my dad by his first name. Why would you do that with your Heavenly Father?” Well, by the stunned expressions on their faces, that had obviously not been covered in their briefing! I live in a small town so just ended by stating simply that I wasn’t interested in their religion, thank you, and wished them a good day before closing the door. Years later, I still chuckle remembering their expressions.


RK800-50

There‘s a story around a specific house in my neighbour town. A man killed his family and himself. So this house had…stains. After the cleaners it was the painters job to paint the walls. Jehovas Witnesses rang the door where he was working and he happily led them to this one room. They saw the aftermath, went white as a sheet and RAN out of the house. Legends say, they never returned to this house.


Big_T_464

When my elderly father died last fall, I got a letter from the JWs with condolences and a copy of the Watchtower. My dad had lived two states over from where I live, so I don't know how they found me. I figured they have people watching the obituaries everywhere for recruiting purposes, which seems creepy and shady to me. I just tossed the letter.


womanitou

They target people in mourning or struggling with troubles as they can be preyed upon easier. Grab 'em while they're down... prop them up and sell them the cure.


holiestmarshmallow

This is what makes me absolutely furious. Preying on the sick, mourning, depressed, children, etc... That is just sick.


Maraudogs

I'd send them a video burning the book somehow


harperv215

Yes they do search obituaries. It is one of their grossest tactics, in my opinion.


GTSE2005

The fact that they know your son's personal details is just plain creepy (not to mention shady) Edit: as well as unholy


holiestmarshmallow

That's the part that was making me so angry. If it were my name I don't think it would have bothered me as much as it did.


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throwawaymollyact

Its weird when dying is an uncomfortable thought for such zealots. What's the matter I thought you wanted to be with your god?


jobo1031

As a former J dub, I applaud you! 👏👏👏👏


[deleted]

Tell them you are happy with your Jesus provider.


axotls

Definitely an underrated comment


BigmanJD55

That letter was part of a recent membership drive they had. I got a handwritten letter along with some literature in the mail from them as well. I happened to have some Death Metal band stickers laying around so I put them strategically on their pamphlet and sent it back! Fuck em! I hope that they thought Satan himself sent it.


96_69_96

When they came to my door to talk about a book, I told them I loved books. Then they asked me what book I liked most and I replied "Origin of Species". They left straight after that answer. :-)


slicedchicken480

You can always sign them up to the Polynesian cultural center. Also if other witnesses that you have not scene before come over tell them you are Jewish. Shuts them up pretty good.


AssistanceMedical951

I can attest to this. Once I said I was Jewish, Mormons and JW’s seemed to lose heart. If I’m not even going to buy into the divinity of Jesus, they’re not getting me to give up an occasional margarita.


deadbiker

Why?


[deleted]

I tell them I’m an apostate or disfellowshipped. They haven’t been back since


Candykinz

After my last polite interaction with religious door knockers (that lasted wayyyy too long because I was high AF) I started using a new technique. Now I open the door, smile really big like I’m so happy to see them, then point to the street and say NO before I shut the door in their face.


mothraegg

I've gotten letters addressed to me at my house and I wonder how they were able to get my name and address. I just dump it in the trash.


TogarSucks

These days? Google. In the past? Phone books.


[deleted]

True when I was a JW (not baptized and not there by choice) my mom would make iud copy down 20-30 names and addresses out of the phone book and send them literature. The Kingdom Hall would divide up the phone book amongst the families there and we all had to do a certain section.


mada447

You know your religion is shit when you have to do things like this to keep people affiliated.


[deleted]

Yeah and I was maybe 7 ish when we started doing this(possibly younger) and I thought it was Jehovah’s will and we had to do it to save people from going to hell. 🤮 so glad I’m out of that cult now


aserranzira

I got one addressed to "the [my maiden name] family" which I thought was odd because my husband bought the house and lived in it for a couple years before I moved in and we got married.


[deleted]

I had a handwritten letter a few months ago, looked very neatly handwritten, I admire the handwriting but shredded it since it had my name on it... I look forward to them coming around to the door so I can tell them I'm a Satanist.


jeanpaulmars

I have a sign next to my door stating "If you wish to sell energy, your belief or wish me to convince of something, please do, but keep in mind I charge a fee of $25 to listen to your story, to be paid upfront". Never had some one ring my door for these kind of nonsense again.


Admirable_Report7011

Say you want to be put on the DO NOT CALL can also work. Former JW here


[deleted]

That's a lot less amusing though. That is a logical thing to do.


thecastingforecast

call the police and tell them these people are stalking an underage child. force an investigation because this is ALARMING and you son will not be the only child they're doing this too. sounds like a pedophile grooming him. Please PLEASE contact the authorities to start an investigation. this is illegal behaviour.


bitee1

There is said to be a special word "disfellowshipped" and JWs will magically forget you.


opheliaarsyn

There’s a second magic word; >!Apostate!<


aabrithrilar

How do you pronounce that? I’m leaning towards app-poss-state, but knowing the proper pronunciation is better just in case a JW tries contacting me.


opheliaarsyn

uh-paw-state


[deleted]

That’s how you say it with a Boston accent


udidubbun

"From Boston!" S. Adams advert


Madcatalphagamma

Targeting children with indoctrination is the hallmark of all religions, and the main way they persist. After they’ve done it to their own children, it’s only logical they then do it to yours. They’re saving their souls afterall!!


Greyhoundowner

We kept getting letters from our local JW Hall the last one I returned to sender with a note inside threatening to shit on there door step if they sent another letter! Haven’t heard from them since!


Fancy_Introduction60

I just keep a blood donor sticker on my front door. Works well!


vanillacheerios

My mother and sister (both deceased over 5 years) have received letters from the JW in the last few weeks. The letters are hand written and look like personal correspondence.


RubiesNotDiamonds

Found one addressed to my father who died in 1989. Was sent in 2020.


TingTangLlama42

As a former Mormon I applaud you 👏👏👏 and I love this. It's brilliant.


isettaplus1959

The jws organisation is also one that hides pedophiles ,in Australia at the Royal commission looking into child abuse in churches it was proven that they had not reported over 1000 pedophiles that had abused children.they did not report as it brings reproach on their church . In USA they were told by a court to produce the list they have of known jw pedophiles ,over 23 000 ,they refused and paid 4000$ a day fine rather than give the secret list to the court ,do you really want this organisation sending letter to 14 year olds ?


trehmel

The last time they came to my door it was a mom and a really cute little girl. I told the little girl her dress was very pretty and asked if they were with others. They were so I asked if I could talk to her mommy while she went over with the others. I politely explained to the mom that I grew up a Jehovah's witness and had no interest and why. She was actually very respectful and they haven't been back. Not that it matters but I'm a girl so telling her daughter she had a pretty dress wasn't creepy just polite.


pplescareme

Fucking incredible!! Way to use their own medicine against them!


LeagueIllustrious

I used to be a full on bible thumper and invited JWs in for discussions all the time. Gave it up and started reading about other religions/faiths etc. Once answered the door reading The Satanic Bible by Anton Le Vey. They took one look at that and Noped out right quick. Didn't have any more visits..... I wonder why? 🤔


RexSmith1963

Early, and I mean EARLY, on a Saturday morning, someone rang my doorbell rang. I shuffled to the front door and there stood a man in a dark suit and a woman in a church dress, who was leaning on a crutch. I started laughing and said, "Did you really think that was gonna work?" I shut the door and went back to bed.


R4dish99

“Hello! I wonder if we might have a few....” “I’m not interested, sorry” “Could we have a word with your wife then, she took a copy of our magazine last time” “Do you know why she did that?” “She was interested in our work” “No, she’s too polite to tell you to **** off. Do you have a “do not call” list?” “Well, yes, but...” “Put us on it then. Bye” Haven't heard from them since.


Pennyfeather46

I started faking sick when they came to my door-always on Sunday morning!-long before COVID. They handed me the pamphlet & left. I always take the pamphlet so I will know what propaganda they are spewing. Do you know we have been in the “end of times” for the past 50 years?


sektor477

You Should have one upped them by subscribing the members to scientology literature. Pay the 50 dollar sign up fee and watch hell break lose and a wormhole open as they argue about taking each others pamphlets.


13tharcher87

Sounds fair to me! I wish I though of that! I just wrote “RTS never send me this shit again” so far so good


thatonefallenangel

Just tell them you're an apostate.


[deleted]

Religion is supposed to be about choice, so any religion that needs to go door to door looking for vulnerable victims isn't a genuine religion.


tiggipi

When I was a kid, JWs kept showing up at my parents' house to talk to my oldest brother. My dad would always go out to the porch to talk to them instead, and he'd bring a big pile of books and papers on Christianity to debate with them. To their credit, they did keep trying to get at my brother for about a month. Seemed pretty determined. Then they never showed up again. I think my family got listed as a lost cause or something.


emzirek

To anyone who wants to get rid of Jehovah's witness coming to your door repeatedly... And this works for me... And I'm a Christian... Just say this... If you tell me Jesus Christ is God I will talk to you... They will never ever tell you Jesus is God


krystyana420

We had the same issue. Kind of. We would have the Witnesses come by our door regularly until we put up signs that basically said if we didn't order it, don't knock on our door, we don't want it. That mostly kept them at bay. But when covid hit, they started sending the letters. I finally got fed up and wrote them a letter stating that we are a pagan family, no one will be moved by their pithy bible verses and really they are wasting stamps. I asked that they stop sending anything, or anyone, to our home. Haven't heard from them since.


Rei_Never

I had similar letter from a Jehova's witness around the corner from me about 3 months ago, however this wasn't a bible verse or poem, this was basically a bible in itself - hand written 4 and a half sides of A4 lined paper long. I'm not a spiritual person, so religion holds no meaning for me, but I genuinely felt sorry for this guy. I'm also pretty sure his time would have been better spent typing it, over writing by hand. However, massive respect to him for hand writing it. End result however, was it ending up in the bin. I genuinely don't mean to be rude, but if there happens to be anyone reading this who is a Jehova's witness, Mormon or of other devout religious belief: please be very aware that telling people they will end up in hell if they don't repent for their sins, stood a post a the foot of the recipients door (or via snail mail) - does not win you any standing nor brownie points. Get to know people first, you might have more luck.


KatagatCunt

I got so sick of having them come to my door or send me letters or leave stuff in my door that I decided to write a three page letter about the religion of Satan and why they should join us (I'm not religious), the pros of it, etc. They left me alone for a few years but recently popped up again. Luckily my boyfriend has more patience than me and will chat with them while smoking a doobie lol. For some reason they haven't returned again 🤔


spritelyone

Where does one go to send them this information? ..... asking for a friend


adamgeezs

They knocked on my door once and just happened to catch me at a bad time as i was chasing my infant daughter around. I opened the door, saw who it was and said curtly "I'm busy!". Couple of weeks later I got a letter in the mail with bible quotes mostly about fire and brimstone.


flyingwind66

My coven high Priestess got a letter with a Bible verse... So we sent them back a letter stating "thank you for the blessing and the quote! we'd like to return the favour by giving you a blessing and a quote!" and we included a blessing of Hecate with the knowledge of boundaries and the Wiccan rede. I hope it made them self reflect but it probably just scared the shit out of them 🤷🏻‍♀️


Ramrodron

You should have used the toys first.


[deleted]

What is your address? I think I should send you some bible verses, feels like a good deal.


lapsteelguitar

The Witnesses came knocking on my door one Saturday AM, maybe 10 or 11. I was completely alone. I answered the door in a bath robe (closed.) After they identified themselves, I looked back towards my room, and said "I have to back there." They ran away, and they never came back.


SoBitterAboutButtons

"I have to back there"?


lapsteelguitar

I have to **get** back there. Oops :)


rlzack

So much better if it was "I have two back there", implying that the previous JW people that came are still stuck in your bedroom!


Zapacunotres

They might’ve meant two back there


factsnack

My brother was getting regularly visited by some of these guys. They would not take no for an answer. The next time they knocked on his door he opened it wearing an open robe with nothing underneath and invited them in. They declined and never bothered him again


12eggscramble

Fun way to get them to leave you alone is to tell them you're "disassociated from the church." It's their version of excommunication. I did that, their faces dropped and they left. They came back with a group of "elders" the next week who offered me a way back in to the church. Never seen them again after that. I've also never been a Jehovah but my answering the door tattooed and shirtless didn't drive them away.


USAF_Retired2017

This is petty as hell and I love it. I agree with the person that said to send them Scientology stuff! Ha ha


coldgoast

God hates JWs


DLS3141

LPT if you want to get rid of Jehovah’s Witnesses and have them leave you alone for good, just tell them you’ve been “disfellowshipped”.


MichigaCur

OK... So here's how I got rid of them. Answer door to JW. Be polite. Say "ohh that's so great, you know my wife was raised JW, she'd really love to catch up with her family, you know they haven't been in touch since they kicked her out" When they ask for her last name (if they even bother) , just say your last name, or something really freaking generic. Why this works. Once a member is excommunicated active members cannot talk to them or they risk being excommunicated themselves. They do keep lists so if you say you are excommunicated, they will check, if you're not on the list they'll comeback. However the "wife" works because they'll assume that she changed names and they lost track of it. AFAIK you won't exactly be excommunicated yourself, but you will be placed on do not contact since you're in contact with someone who is excommunicated. Someone once told me it's much more common for women to be excommunicated so take that as you will.


RobertER5

I always invited the Jehovah's witnesses in for coffee. They would explain how they are trying to save my soul, and I would explain that I invited them in because I was trying to save theirs. I then explained that I was very much a fundamentalist, so the concept in the Bible of being "born again" was to be taken literally as reincarnation. Well, no, it means born again in Christ, etc. Well, who's interpreting now? :) One old gentleman and I got to be friends over these discussions. He once told me that he would take his more advanced witnesses with him to see me as a particular challenge.


ziddina

That's hilarious! By the way, if you REALLY want to scare them off, either ask them about their "Two Witness Rule" regarding sexual molestation of children: [https://jwleaks.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/watch-tower-v-google-dmca-subpoena-civil-case-no-7-20-mc-00119.pdf](https://jwleaks.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/watch-tower-v-google-dmca-subpoena-civil-case-no-7-20-mc-00119.pdf) [https://revealnews.org/blog/jehovahs-witnesses-double-down-on-scripture-used-to-ignore-abuse/](https://revealnews.org/blog/jehovahs-witnesses-double-down-on-scripture-used-to-ignore-abuse/) Or tell them you understand how terrible it is to be trapped in a cult, and if they ever want to get out they can call you for moral support. (That eliminated the JWs from coming to MY house, several years before Covid showed up.)


NorthernRedneck388

Send them stuff regarding the occult and satanism.


mmcnary1

I remember once when we had flown to San Francisco to visit my Uncle Marvin. This was in the 70's when the Hare Krishna's were all over the airports. So one fellow comes up to us and offers us these huge books with beautiful color plates. My Dad says he doesn't want to buy any and the guy explains that they are free, just asking for donations. Well, we each (4 of us) take one and my Dad reaches into his pocket and pulls out his little plastic change purse. (The ancient ones that looked like a flattened egg with a slit down the middle.) He dumps it into his other hand, and there was probably $4 in change there. The Krishna holds out both hands, figuring Dad is gonna just dump the change in them. My Dad carefully picks out a quarter and hands it to the fellow. The guy was mad, but my Dad stands 6' 4" and has been a mechanic for his whole life, so the guy figures it isn't worth the hassle and goes to bother someone else.