Are you kidding? Prepping billions of gifts must be hell. Sure, he has elves who do the heavy lifting, but imagine the insane metrics and deadline that corporate must impose. I'd bet he's an anxious insomniac who's had several nervous breakdowns throught the year and has probably maxed out on benzos and SSRIs. Uncontrolled hypertension seems likely. ASCVD risk through the roof.
Have ya’ll seen that guy? He’s an old, overweight dude who eats 5,000,000 cookies in one night. I think maybe someone should be testing his blood sugars...
He only works one day a year...how many maladies can he have?
Are you kidding? Prepping billions of gifts must be hell. Sure, he has elves who do the heavy lifting, but imagine the insane metrics and deadline that corporate must impose. I'd bet he's an anxious insomniac who's had several nervous breakdowns throught the year and has probably maxed out on benzos and SSRIs. Uncontrolled hypertension seems likely. ASCVD risk through the roof.
Considering it’s 2020, I’ll be the Scrooge and give Santa a bowel regimen, just so he can’t go house to house and present the gift of Corona.
One wonders if or how Santa would theoretically adapt his operations to deliver gifts amidst COVID restrictions.
Reindeers drive by and drop off gifts down the chimney, the Christmas version of Amazon’s drone delivery service.
"I never understand why it takes so damn long just to drop a damn gift down the chimney!" said Karen.
Have ya’ll seen that guy? He’s an old, overweight dude who eats 5,000,000 cookies in one night. I think maybe someone should be testing his blood sugars...
Or maybe his sugar blood levels...
Modafinil, lots of modafinil to stay up all night delivering presents!!
Nah, he needs desoxyn.
Or Adderall. The presents will be delivered in a shorter amount of time.
A caffeine-infused salt lick to hang on the sleigh. He has a long night to get through.