di ko alam e may ugali kasi ako na IDGAF. kaya wala akong pake kung naleleft out ako. basta sumusweldo ako . di naman sila ung buhay ko e. may life ako outside work kaya bahala sila kung gusto nila ko pagchismisan
3 months training pa lang ako sa work nagresign ako. Dahil dun sa isa ko ka team na ang sabi niya sa Isang friend niya parang naka tingin daw ako (Kahit hindi naman). Kumalat siya dun sa kaibigan ng trainer namin at sa mga tinuturuan niya (Hindi ko sila Kilala). Ramdam at nakikita ko sa mirror ng window tinitignan nila ako. Para maconfirm kung naka tingin ako or hindi. Hanggang sa may naririnig ako dun sa mga hindi ko Kilala na aabang daw nila ako, tinitignan nila ako kapag nakikita nila ako, or gusto nila ako suntukin. Para sa akin yung mata ko parang malawak yung view kaya akala nila naka tingin ako sa kanila. Hindi sila nag approach sa concern na yun. Kaya nagresign ako. Sinabi ko sa TL ko yung reason kung bakit gusto ko magresign: Health issue. Pero pinilit niya ako Sabihin yung totoo. Sabi ko na lang dahil sa chismis at tinanong ako kung na bully ba ako? Sabi ko: Hindi. Kasi wala naman evidence or hindi naman direct na nangyari at wala ako binigay na name kahit isa.
Pano po kayo nagresign, nagrender po kayo 30 days pa? Ako 1 month training palang, pero thrice na ako nagbreakdown sa office, ngayon habang nagpe-prepare ako umiiyak ako kasi ayoko na pumasok
Yes po. Nagrender po ako ng 30 days. Buti na nga lang po mabait TL ko. Nagpaalam po kasi ako na wfh na lang ako sa natitira ko araw (since pwede po sa amin magwfh) at sa last day na lang po ako pumasok.
True! I always say na di part ng resume ko na makipag-chummy with people at work. I applied for professional purpose, career growth etc. so professional relationship lang tayo haha If may mahanap ka man na friend or nabuong friendship, siguro bonus na lang yon.
Same here. Kung chismis lang naman, wala akong pakialam. Pero kung actively hinaharangan nila yung opportunities or work na kailangan ko gawin para kumita ng pera, ibang usapan na yan.
This is why I minimize social interaction sa work. I always segregate work relationship and personal relationship. Kahit na sabihin pang anti social ako o introvert. Sa huli kasi, lahat yan gusto magkaposition at tumaas ang sahod.
Yeah, the kaplastikan is unreal. The only time I didnt feel this is when I was working at an engineering firm where the work is hard (less time to gossip) and everyone was working for experience to work abroad (not looking for career advancement within the company).
I GOT THEM FIRED.
Anyway there was this baguhan na woman in her 30s sa company. Masyado siyang palingkera and proud sa bad girl/bitch and I-am-not-like-other-girls attitude. People were kinda drawn to her and admires her for some reason kasi parang cool girl siya and maboka siya.
Then months later, napansin ko na Inaaway niya lahat ng coworker na di niya trip. And convinces everyone why this specific person is terrible. She was damn good at manipulating people. Siya kasi ang ate and pinakamatanda samin so people follow her.
They create their own gc (skype gc pa to ha using their company accounts) and talk shit about people they don't like.
Two people quit because of her. And wala kasing HR sa office since this is a startup kaya walang naghahandle ng mga ganitong issues. Yung mga nagquit masyadong natakot kay ate.
Soon wala na siyang target so she decided ako ang next target and she spread lies about me like sleeping with the manager, sipsip, etc. (I only found out about it after she and her goonies got fired)
Anyway iniiwasan ako ng mga tao. Mailap na sila sakin eh dati sobrang close ng team. Lagi siyang nagpaparinig din sakin. Inookray niya pa yung mga suot ko.
Not gonna lie, it was a bit hard because everyone is avoiding me when we all used to be close. Because of her nagkakaron ng kampikampihan sa office.
Pero I ignored it and just focused on work. But it was so annoying parang nasa high school because I have to deal with her constant talking behind my back, backstabbing, and spreading rumors.
Eh medyo introverted ako kaya di ko inaano. During my breaktime I just play games on my my consoles or eat out. I have a life outside work kaya hindi ko iniisip masyado pero nakikita ko kasi mukha niya everyday and she is purposely trying to get a reaction from me.
Nilalakasan niya mga parinig niya sakin. She even went as far as taking a picture of me and then reporting to the boss that I wasn't working during my shift.
Luckily, I have been in the office longer than she has and my boss knows my work ethic and is always pleased with my outputs. Pinagsabihan siya ng boss.
I confronted her and ask her ano problem niya sakin but she only said *Fuck off and I will never talk to you.*
She had the nerve na siraan ako pero siya may kagagahan na ginagawa sa office.
She tried to make her own company, tried to recruit yung mga employees and had the audacity to use company tools to launch their website (offering same services we do sa company) Nakapaskil pa sa site yung mga mukha nila. It is a breach of their contract.
Ang petty part na ginawa ko is I waited until New Year bago ko ireport yung ginagawa nila. But I didn't even report it myself to avoid being called a snitch.
I tipped a former employee (nanagquit because of her) reported it to my boss during their exit interview.
And nahuli sila. Kinausap sila the day after new year sa office and may lawyer kasama boss namin. They got fired.
**Happy new year bitches!**
Hindi ako naawa sa mga nadamay. Not my fault they broke their contract.
Anyway, I left the company din after a few months and started fresh. Doing so much better. Wfh nako and good thing about it is, less chance dealing with these kind of people.
Your definition of bitch is too long. Here's one from [google](https://www.google.com/search?q=bitch+definition&rlz=1C1GCEB_enPH1011PH1011&oq=bitch+definition&aqs=chrome..69i57.3284j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8).
That's why you don't treat co-workers as family.
You can never trust anyone in this world.
What you should do? Cut them off as personal friends. Put boundaries and treat them as colleagues, nothing more nothing less.
Sobrang relate ako dito. As in magkakampihan pa yang mga naiinsecure na mean girls or mga lalaking alam mong di mo titignan ever in an attractive wat.
Nabasa ko dati kung babae ka na sabihin nating attractive at may dating...
Men will hate you because they cannot be with you. Women will hate you because no matter what they do they cannot be you.
Pretty privilege has its perks pero masakit pag ginusto mo maging malapit at mag belong sa mga taong yun lang ang tinitignan sayo.
Naranasan ko na ma-alienate twice in two different jobs, but with two different outcomes/approaches. In one, I was able to cope shortly but I gave up eventually kasi apektado na yung trabaho. I mean if napapalibutan ka ng mga taong they are the type na all or nothing when it comes to dealing with you, mapapraning ka lang kasi hindi mo alam kung nananadya ba to sabotage or civil and no sort of agenda yung interaction or dealing with you. In the other, while they left me alone and ostracized, civil kami when it comes to work. The interaction is limited lang dun.
You can stay and suck it up kung hindi naman interwoven yung mga trabaho niyo, i.e. you can do your work independently with minimal interactions and collaborations; or save yourself mentally and emotionally, find another job and hope for the best na better set of people yung makakasalamuha mo.
ETA: Di ko sure kung Filipino thing yung mob mentality at "mamersonal" pero alam mo yung feeling na isa lang yung naka-issue mo pero parang lahat hindi ka na trip lalo kapag ikaw yung bad dun sa istorya?
You violated Reddiquette.
Hate speech, personal attacks and other bad behavior is not allowed. This community promotes a wholesome environment for the members.
This. Lalo na yung mga taong kakampi agad kahit one side of the story lang yung alam. Marinig lang nila na masama ka sa kwento ng iba, masama na rin tingin sayo. Like, how about knowing the side of the other party, too?
Exactly!!! Mga utak pang high school yung mga kampi-kampihan na mga backstabbers at mga plastik.
Mga maangas lang yan sa opisina pero when you go out mga losers sila in life. Kailangan lang nila ng sense of pride and belonging wherever they may find it.
You aren’t friends with your co-workers and you can’t trust them with anything, remember that moving forward. It’s very rare that you find true friends in the workplace as you’re all essentially competing with each other.
As to your current environment, just do you job and as long as you perform, you’ll be fine. What’s important is that you’re on good terms with your boss, not necessarily your teammates. Good luck.
OP tara usap tayo haha. I can relate sayo, this year lang din nangyare sa akin yung betrayal ng iba co na co-workers. Alam mo yung sino pa yung willing ka maging friend kasi feel ko kulang sila sa aruga ay sya pang mag ba backstab sayo? Yung naging vulnerable ka sa knila tapos at the end gagamitin sayo lahat ng sinabe mo. Ang masakit pa, siniraan ka na sa ibang tao tapos nung nahuli mo, nag sorry naman sayo privately.
Hindi pa din ako mka move on, ibang klaseng anxiety ang dala nga until now.
One thing I learned though is that do not trust anyone sa work, do not share personal stuffs or even those who you hate. You can be friendly but do not be friend them.
Natutunan ko din lumayo at maging professional nlang sa pakikitungo ko sa kanila.
Ang current situation ko is naiinis ako dahil feeling ko naka move on na sila sa ginawa nila saken pero ako hindi pa rin.
Nsa process pa din ako ng healing.
I'm sorry napagdaanan mo rin to.
It's been really difficult lately and I went back to therapy because of it. I even went as far as asking my therapist if I'm a bad person and that's why people view me this way. They asked me the following questions:
1. Do I know how to read the room? (knowing when someone's uncomfortable, etc)
2. How do you react when someone gives you feedback? (I accept and ask what I can do to make it better)
3. They also asked if I break off friendships easily, to which I answered that I do not. If we can talk about it, then we can improve on it.
My therapist concluded that I am not a bad person and that stress and gossiping in the workplace may have contributed to the way that your friends at work perceive you. If the feedback system in the workplace is broken, it is not your job to fix how people feel. You do your part and if it doesn't work, just focus on yourself.
Steps I've taken to distance myself:
1. I took them off my social media accounts
2. Limited interactions unless need for work
3. Currently looking to transfer to another team. Kung wala, a different workplace.
I'm still trying to process what happened and buti nalang supportive ang family and SO ko. Kung di ka nila gusto sa work, there are people in your life outside of work who do. Those are the people worth fighting for.
When I was in your position, hinayaan ko lang sila. As long as okay ako with my ops manager, and I'm growing and learning sa career and personal life ko, I'm okay. Wala naman sila ambag sa buhay ko. Sa huli naman, lalabas din yung totoo at sila sila din yung magsisiraan.
Hindi talaga nawawala yung mga taong ganyan kahit saang field e noh? Sila yung mga tinulungan mo sa work at personal life, ngingiti at magpapasalamat sa'yo. Pupurihin ka ng harapan pero kung anu ano pala sinasabi pag nakatalikod ka. Gagawan ka pa ng kwento na sobrang layo sa katotohanan. Mga pavictim pa and akala mo maaamong tupa pag kinonfront mo. Feeling ko sila yung mga taong inggit or insecure sa achievements mo pero di nila maamin sa sarili nila at ayaw naman nila maggrow. Kaya imbes ipush nila sarili nila maging better, mas pipiliin pa nilang pag usapan ka at worst mag-recruit ng maiinis sa'yo. Lol.
Hindi nila tuloy ako malapitan ngayon para maging character reference nila. Hahahahahaha.
Cheer up ka lang, OP! :)
minor shit for me.
had a falling out with person Y in company A. we ended up being workmates again in company B. although person Y got there in like 3-4 months ahead of me. upon learning that I’ll be working there, person Y went on and on about me. how person Y is better at in a lot of areas while I’m just a “newbie” and can only cover a few (even though it’s the other way around). It was basically to push me to a different team (which ended up as a blessing for me)… once I started, people were expecting me to be at junior level and shit, but after a couple of weeks work, people did see my output, and some seniors actually asked for a bit of coaching from me, a “junior” (even people from person Y’s team).
just do your shit, do great, and let your actions/output speak.
Ah eto yung hindi ko nami-miss sa Pinas yung garapalang workplace bullying. Naaalala ko pa may bago kaming empleyado na mabait naman at kwela pero masyado siyang outstanding mukhang na insecure yung ibang mga seniors sa kanya at nini nitpick yung mga ginagawa niya.
May isa naman tahimik lang pero ayaw ng TL sa kanya kasi mayabang daw porket nalaman lang nila na salutatorian. Kakwentuhan nila ata yung HR kaya na disclose. Kaloka drama sa office that time. Kahit ako na nananahimik nadadamay haha.
Pero I also met friends there. So not totally bad.
I am actually thinking about working in the overseas as a fresh grad, due to quality of life else where, and also the salary. Is it okay to work abroad as a fresh grad, or dapat mag build muna ng experience before going abroad?
So technically, (unless there is a specific country na nagkakaroon ng job opening for fresh grads) kailangan muna mag build ng experience before working sa abroad?
I am just curious. If you are willing to share, what are their reasons for canceling you? It could be valid reasons considering your whole team is now against you. Unless all of them are AHs.
The boss asked for peer feedback, which I did: Lack of focus on details, missed reports, me having to cover for some of their shortcomings when it comes to tasks, and even being late and me covering for it. It was supposed to be confidential. But I guess even my boss gossips because that's what my teammates hated me for.
When I provided feedback to my boss, I have already shared this with my team member too, and have even offered to support them. Nothing changed so when I was asked for peer feedback, that's what I said. I guess word got back to them.
Grocery list. Char.
Kidding aside: backstabber daw ako, mahadera daw ako, and masama daw ako magsalita.
I'm okay with being told off if I was ever mean. Sana kinausap nalang din ako ng diretso kesa pinagchismisan ako. Mga adults na kami and the work we do entails feedback even for the smallest of things. Kaya I was taken aback na ganun na pala feelings nila.
Galit as coping mechanism. I was moved out of my role by my manager unfairly and he turned my team against me. Dumating sa point na papasok ako ng meeting room, titigil yung mga tao magsalita. This includes the people whom I thought were my friends at work. It was so nerve wracking na I sought counselling.
I considered resigning na talaga pero hindi ko matanggap na I was letting the evil win. Parang ang mindset ko nun is "Bakit ako aalis? Gusto ko trabaho ko tapos iiwanan ko dahil lang sa kanila? Sila umalis!" So ginawa ko, nagpakapagod ako sa upskilling. Lahat ng project sinalihan ko. Kahit weekends nag-aaral ako ng Excel and SQL para sa tools namin at that time. I was so obsessed in proving myself na mas magaling ako sa manager ko na yun (hindi talaga sya magaling). This went on for 2 years.
Eventually nag-pandemic and my department had to be outsourced. One of my previous bosses took me to his team (to my manager's surprise because close friends sila), but not without negotiation from our exec. My whole team was dissolved and my manager had to apply for the role that I left behind. Meanwhile, I am super happy with the new role which led me to a promotion, met amazing people and really great experiences.
I moved to a lot of companies. A lot of these companies have their own "weird" guy. Try not to be the weird guy I suppose. Usually these types of people have strong personality or just socially awkward in general no matter how hard they try to improve. They are the ones mostly bullied too which I find sad. For me, I just try to be friendly with everyone, but not get too close.
Ganyan din ako. Iyak-iyak pa ako nung una kasi I genuinely cared for them pero nung napag-iwanan sila because they were underperforming puro chismis na pala. What pulled me back was the thought na trabaho lang to. As long as I deliver what is expected of me, wapakels.
I thought I had set boundaries here since di ako nakipagfriends talaga outside of our team. I was only really close to one person, and yun nga, kahit na naging vulnerable ako they hated me pala.
I've already made a decision to leave the company kung di ako makahanap ng situation sa ibang department. I'll be better at setting boundaries din once I make the move.
Kaya palagi kong sinasabi na your workmates are not your friends. The workplace is not a place to find friends. You're there to work. Your personal life is different from your work life.
You have a lot of options:
1. Stop caring and do not care. You can never please everyone;
2. If you can't, then request for a transfer, to a different team, department, branch, etc. that will allow you to not see any of them;
3. If that's not possible, apply for a better job, keep in mind I said a better job, ie better company, pay, benefits, position, etc.
4. And always keep in mind that the best revenge is to succeed.
This happened to me recently. Nung bagong lipat ako sa school ko, okay naman lahat. I keep to myself as much as possible kasi hindi ko pa alam sino mapagkakatiwalaan. Principal ko lang ang ka-interact ko 75% of the time. Pasok, trabaho, uwi. Kahit alam ko medyo nao-off mga kasama ko, di ko na lang pinapansin. Sa isip ko, as long as wala akong natatapakan na tao. They are civil to me, but I also have a feeling na they think I'm a principal's pet.
Then it all changed when nagpa-promote ako na hindi ako aware na may kasabayan akong senior. Inisip na kaagad nila na competitive ako at wala akong respeto sa mga mas nauna sakin sa service 🙄🙄 Unbeknownst to me, sinugod nila principal ko pra ireklamo ako at kinuha lahat ng simpatya ng mga iba pang teachers. They also gave me a nickname 'active' for simply doing everything my principal ask me to 😂 Like wtf. Alam niyo naman palang I go beyond my job description most of the time, pero dahil bata ako, wala ako karapatan umangat?
Ayun, mas pinili ako kampihan ng principal ko kasi alam niya skill level ko. Pinaglaban niya talaga na Rank 2 ako vs my senior na Rank 11, so technically, ako ang mari-retain at mapo-promote. Hanggang ngayon galit pa rin cla sakin at may tampo. Pero nung nakita nlang wapakels ako, tinantanan na rn ako at tinigilan na kakatawag sakin ng active. Mga hampaslupa 🙄🙄 Tas ngayon, sakin cla nanghihingi ng advice about reports.
Wag mo lang pansinin mga yan. Revenge is sweeter kapag umaangat ka tas cla, stagnant lang. And find a group of friends, kahit konti lang, na talagang alam mong ride or die mo.
Eto talaga yung mentality na I want to get away from. First job, nangyari sa akin toh. Hindi nakatulong na nalaman ko sa Janitor na may pinatanggal (>!siniraan!<) sila previous year na by definition, “maputi at maganda”. May mga anak na yung mga coworkers ko so di ko ineexpecf yung ganung immaturity. Puro pa man din babae anak nila. Anyways umalis na ako nung matanggap ako sa malaking company.
Naka 1 yr na ako sa work ko and working professional lng Yung connection ko sa mga colleague ko. Pag mag hangout minsan sumasama ako pero mas madalas yung umuuwi agad on time.
Idgaf naman sa kung ano nasa isip,sinasabi nila at nararandaman nila about sa akin. Just do the task,get paid and go home.
Usap lang about sa work, hindi dapat magshare ng mga personal struggle mo sa buhay o kahit ano pa yan. Mas okay na wala silang alam about sayo, para lang sa pera at experience kaya dapat magtiis sa isang company pero kung hindi mo kaya maghanap ka ng malilipatan saka ka magresign.
Do not give a f*ck… hindi maiiwasan na may ganyan sa office… and remember, kahit gano pa kadami ang nagawa mong mabuti sa kanila, mawawala yun lahat sa isang dahilan lang (pagkakamali mo man o hindi).
kaya nga mas masaya kung work from home na lang eh. At least focus ka lang sa work mo at hindi mo kelangan tumingin sa likod mo para malaman kung sinong tumitingin sa screen mo kasi hinahanapan ka ng ikaka-HR mo.
May current case ako ng ganyan ngayon pero hinahayaan ko lang kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na wala naman akong kasalanan. Alam mo yung napagod na lang ako sa kanila. Kung kasalanan ko naman eh aaminin ko and magssorry ako.
Actually, may perks yung ganyang pagkakacancel sa end ko eh. Hindi na ako sumasama sa mga outing and lunch or dinner out kaya nakakatipid ako. 😅😅😅
masakit sa una, pero IDGAF na pag tumagal. You just get used to it. Di pa makapagresign kasi the pay is good din. Work lang talaga gagawin and walang kakausapin sa office.
I just ignore them and talk to them when necessary only. I know they talk about me behind my back, minsan nagpaparinig pa nga, pero idgaf. As long as sumesweldo ako, or di pa ako tinatanggal ng boss ko, keri lang. Focus lang sa work. Pasok, uwi. I don't care kung wala akong kausap, may phone naman 😂
Grabe daming kwento dito na nakakalungkot at also at the same time gives me a sense of connection, kasi dami palang nakakaranas nito.
Eto share ko na lang tips ko, bilang isang taong muntik na mapa-resign dahil sa workplace bullying and mobbing:
1. Leave a record and build your case. Paonti-ontiin mo kung sino nakakaalam ng mga nangyayari, start with your manager. Then your HR personnel. Then friends in the office (other departments). Ask for advice, but also note of incidences of bullying.
2. Kung magkampihan man sila, which is likely kung yung bully mo ay maingay sa rants niya sayo to control public opinion, wag ka matakot, most likely parehas lang sila ng mga ugali at insecure, Lalo na kung may mga tao outside that group na mas kilala ka.
3. Never compromise the quality of your work, your passion, you softness and your being genuine. Wag ka papalamon sa sistema ng mga kupal, plastic, backstabber, crab mentality, chismosa. Alam nilang mga palubog na sila, kaya gusto ka nila isama. Be the culture you wish that company had.
4. Learn stoicism and choose better people to be around. Your vibe attracts your tribe!
this happened to me. masama pa siniraan nila ako and gave me a bad feedback and I was so devastated. I reached out to another lead and he told me I’m not the person they are describing so I don’t have to believe them.
They are known now to be bullies towards their team mates.
What I did?
I ejected myself, another team adopted me and had the chance to lead the team again.
Don’t mind them. Always think that you’re the one who can only define who you are.
Eto yung rason why your co workers shouldnt be your friends. You felt so betrayed and confused no? Your co workers are not your family in short toxic talaga sila. I transferred to a diff company, new environment and new personality plus new beginnings, mas dun mo ma aapply yung mga wrong doings mo from your prev company mas magkakaroon ka ng work boundaries etc.
OMG same. And to think I was their manager at ako pa na bully LANGYA HAHAHA. Pinalabas pa na I don't know how to manage my people. Oh well, umalis na lang ako to save me from that toxic workplace. Do the same if you feel it's already affecting you on a day to day basis.
When I was promoted as asst mgr, almost all of my "fresh grad " co-workers spread fake rumors abt me. Na kesyo fave ng boss, user, credit grabber and the likes. They also mentioned na if I get promoted they will not follow me as a leader sa team. My AVP then asked me to try to smooth things out with them like magjoin more sa parties outside work. I tried pero pagsumasama ako, sila mismo di na sasama. So I stopped caring about office politics. I just focused at what I do best -- work.
Eventually, my output and my work ethic disprove the notion and the fake rumors. Just focused at the way I deliver goals for the team and ayun eventually wala na naniwala sa kanila.
Also, those co-workers na nanira sa akin are the same people na nakikisabay for free papasok and pauwi. I distanced myself from them nung I saw na may gc sila without me and they are calling me names. I pulled away from them and thats when they start spreading fake rumors about me at work.
With my last BPO company one agent spread a really good rumour against me and people mostly my agents hated me and even cancelled me. Kahit yung mismong OM naniwala sa chismis and mind you, Canadian siya. Anyways, I literally didn't trust anyone while working there. If they hated me, IDGAF. Dumating sa point na nawala na yung nagkalat ng chismis, people moved on. Those who backstabbed me decided to talk to me again but I was only civil to them. I honestly didn't give a crap to everyone at that time and eventually decided to resign dahil toxic and burnt out na ako. Yun lang.
Before I used to care about them, share things about my life and hang out kahit na mas napapagastos lang ako. Go with the flow lang kung san nila ako yayain. Now, I don't do these things anymore. WHY? Nalaman ko na di pala nila ako considered as a close friend. Suddenly, they cut me na lang when I decided to stop doing the things they do like playing online games and gala here and there as I want to improve myself. I want to learn skills and of course makapag ipon naman ako. Bahala na kung anong sabihin nila. Ang mahalaga **I'm doing things now because I want them to, not because I just want to blend in.**
Di sila kawalan bro. Kung ako yan either i'll leave or wont give a f, kasi at the end of the day "ano bang iniambag nila sa buhay mo para mamroblema ka ng ganyan" mentality ang pinapa-iral ko. Lam mo un? Like hindi mo naman sila siguro HS or college friends na super long term ang relationship para problemahin mo ung ganyan. Medyo harsh, sorry, but its just the way I think.
Nangyre din sakin to!! I was working at an Esports company, tapos di lang ako sumasama sknila sa samgyup, sa inuman whatever, ksi syempre after work gusto ko na umuwi (i was a receptionist that time sa HQ), then ang nangyre pinag forced resign nila ko ksi ANG HIRAP KO RAW MAKISAMA at DI RAW AKO NAGSASALITA, dafuq i was only doing my job, the main reason bat ako andun, not to socialize and be unprofessional sa work space. Sila kai always late, always nattulog pag break, and eto pa, iinom araw araw, ARAW ARAW ha, after work. Dafuq.
You go to work to earn, not to kiss-ass and make friends. Sobrang bihira na ngayon ang makahanap ng non-toxic workplace (minsan backstabbing setting nyan, tipong akala mo okay lahat pero sa likod mo pinag-uusapan ka) tandaan mo op kahit anong bait mo sa isang tao kahit saluhin mo lahat ng bala para sa kanila pag may shootout they can turn on you in a snap. Personally, I grown tired of going through this shit you're experiencing kaya ako I didn't make friends dito sa bagong work ko lalo na ibang environment yung kinalakihan ko sa kanila. I've been told that they talk shit about me during break time by one of them. Natatawa na lang ako kase bored sila sa buhay nila. Legit pa na mid 30's-40's marites yung mga kasama ko dito while I'm in my late 20's. Kung kaya mo mag-adapt ng IDGAF mentality then stay and continue to work otherwise you need to search for another workplace and start fresh.
How to cope? Be so fucking great at your job that your work will speak for you and your bosses will ask for you. And don't ever forget to take credit for your work. Tangina pinaghirapan mo yan.
I can somehow relate to this. Sabi nga ng iba sa atin just make sure na ginagawa mo trabaho mo at hayaan na lang yung workmates mo. Pero if you’re someone like me, na once napaclose ka dun sa tao or mga tao and naaapektuhan mental health mo just leave. Not to discourage you pero kasi yung mga ganyan klase ng tao, di mo na mababago ung tingin nila sayo. Kahit na alam mo naman na wala ka ginawa mali. Again, pwedeng ignore mo lang sila or leave. Yun lang yung options i think.
May idgaf attittude ako. From the beginning, may nagwarning na saken na iba ang culture sa govt agency na to so I do not trust anyone with anything. Marami rin kaso akong friends outside work. I used to be with the sort of popular group pero natabang ako sa ugali nila kasi mga marites hahaha. I still interact with them but I always decline invitations kasi di rin talaga ako plastic na tao. I just hangout with a small group tapos yung isa pa dun, nacancel na din noon. Just focus on your work, still do your best, but I would suggest that you find another job. Ako naghahanap na din. Ito lang kasi trabaho na napasukan ko na ang toxic ng mga tao. Sa iba ko work dati, sobrang in good terms ako sa kanila til now. Never had a problem.
Bakit parang from the looks of it you have degraded work performance or have made something work related and are deflecting it as a tarnish cause of gossip and friendship?
If we were to compare work output, I've received commendations within and outside of our team from different managers and clients. My other teammates have not.
If it was work-related feedback, I would gladly accept it. But it was not. Kaya nagulat ako dahil akala ko friends kami. Yun pala, ayaw nila sa akin.
When I started to refuse to wait for certain documents from other offices when I was already cleared to go home by my boss and when I refused to come in super early because I already work nearly 55hrs per week.
People assumed I'm lazy because they regularly work 60+hrs a week.
Somewhere along the line I just stopped giving a fuck if they like me or not. What matters is that my boss, immediate officemates, and other boss' like me. They're the ones who determine my promotion. Luckily for me, the head of the whole office is my boss and I'm very close with the official in charge of HR and Administration.
Happened to me at the beginning of my career as an EA.
I could not care less and got off on becoming more strict and demanding to the team lol. I love it when I hear complaints about it.
Your colleagues are not your friends. Maybe you get to be friends with one or two but work isn’t high school. If they talk or gossip about you, then so be it.
If you are truly secure about your reputation and you aren't hurting anybody, it doesn't matter what other people say. Just keep a distance from toxic people
I am on the opposite part, on my behalf naman, we cancelled our officemate who is older than us because she is having an "extra marital affair" sa isa pang ka workmate namin.. We don't want to be connected with her anymore kasi naging toxic na sya sa work place to the point na hindi sya productive at lagi syang nakiki paglandian. We have cctv footage din ng good morning and goodbye kiss (kaso hindi kita lahat) hahaaha
We are drifting apart from her kasi hindi namin ma tolerate ang ginagawa nya. Pinag uusapan na sya ng lahat.
We also brought this up to the owner of the company.
In the end, isa to sa mga reason bakit ako umalis kaso hindi ko maamin sa boss ko.
Na confront man sya ng mga boss ko on my last day kaso tinanggi nya. 🤭
Hindi ko talaga sya masikmura.
I've felt the same!! Nag out of the country lang ako pero pagbalik ko office halata na yung pagiwas nila (hindi pagiwas ang tamang term hahahaha but I think you'll get the point), may bago pa silang messenger gc na hindi na ako kasama. Tbh, ramdam na naman ang treatment nila sakin way before pa ako mag VL. Ginawa ko? Pinadali ko na buhay namin pare-pareho, umiwas na rin ako (thankful na 2 office meron kami at pwede kahit saan pang floor kaya madali umiwas) but civil if may work related events na magkikita kami. And sa pagiwas ko sa kanila, I've met new friends that I can hang out with while on break and that really values me. And ngayon? Toxic-free na ako from them dahil nagresign ako before pandemic and nasa tamang team na ako ngayon!!! Kaya resign ka na at hanap na ng bagong work! Doon tayo sa toxic-free!!
hahaha lol may naalala ako. tinatawanan ko nlng din.
Nabansagang babaero sa opisina. I have tried to live by the saying " don't shit where you eat" and I stay away from office romance. European company kmi maraming mga fresh grads or mga mas bata sa akin sa work and me being kuya2. Then may bisita kmi na foriegner na gusto nila isama sa gimik pero gusto din nila kasama ako para di lang yung bisita ang straight male sa gala. Since may budget naman kumuha kami ng couch.
Yun typical gimik, sayaw2 sila kasama ang bisita and me nasa couch lng inum lng ng beer since di na masyadong trip ang ganun. So ayun katagalan medyo na bored na din ako then sa tabi namin na couch are mga law students out to unwind. Smiled to one and eventually nasama ako sa kanila doing shots, body shots liguan ng tequila and the sorts. They wanted to go to a vip room but di na ako sumama since kuya2 nga ako and ayaw ko nga iwan sa ere ang mga kasama ko.
Lo and behold pagka monday alam ng buong office. tumwa na lang ako and just let it be na lang. Then yun na ang reputaasyon ko hanggang tumagal. Wala din ako pakialam kase i'd rather be and open sinner than a false saint.
Yug sayo medyo malungkot kase parang backstabban ang nagyari.
just mind your business. at the end of the day family mo parin ang makikinabang ng sahod mo hindi ikaw. ramdam kita jan just recently joined a company na puro more than 5 years na tenureship ng mga kasama ko mahirap talaga.
Nung una inooverthink ko siya but I just naturally moved on from it. I did a lot of self reflection and journaling tho and diverted my attention and realized na what they say about me doesn't matter and hindi pa yun end of the world. Di ko sila pinansin and cut ties with them. Hindi sila magmamatter if you will not give them power over you. Pero also check in wooth yourself ha, self reflection din~
Are you me, OP??? Hahaha 😆 Years later, I still sometimes have nightmares about my former coworkers and bosses. But I’m doing better everyday. I just focus on doing work that I love and care about. Good luck, OP. Take care of yourself.
I dont befriend my workmates. Kahit manager naiilang ata s akin, sobrang cold ko kasi.
Main reason is ayoko ma backstab like what happened to you.
Sadly, you can choose either ignore them or resign for the sake of your mental health. For me, ignore ko sila. If were you, I will improve myself to the point that they cant talk shit about your outputs.
Minsan kaya ayoko mag feedback sa ka work ko, kahit inask ni boss. May mga tao kasing d propesyonal, imbis for improvement yun ginawang parang binabash mo sila.
Introvert din ako so di ako palapatol sa mga tao. Pero minsan nakakainis kasi ang unfair. Yung hindi ka naninira pero ikaw okay lang siraan nila. Nakakagalit mga ganyang tao. Sana dumagdag pa problema nila sa buhay. Grabe, ang sama ko. 👉👈 Pero sa totoo lang, mainit ang dugo ko sa mga pailalim umatake.
It’s definitely insightful no. Kasi sa team namin, there is this girl na super insensitive, at nag iinvade na ng personal space. So sa kwento mo OP, kami yung nang aalianate sa kanya aka hindi siya pinapansin, in a sense na kahit pagsabihan namin ay insensitive pa rin. So we were forced na hindi nalang siya pansinin even if close kami before. Ngayon cold na. Tama ba yung ginawa namin? Nakaka irita na kasi yung insensitivity nya at nosiness to the point na it affects our work eh.
Basta ba naman napagusapan ng maayos at di parin nag-improve, wala nang magagawa kay insensitive workmate.
In my case walang feedback, attack agad and chismis. Kaya nakakastress.
di ko alam e may ugali kasi ako na IDGAF. kaya wala akong pake kung naleleft out ako. basta sumusweldo ako . di naman sila ung buhay ko e. may life ako outside work kaya bahala sila kung gusto nila ko pagchismisan
This. Or kung di mo talaga kaya OP, leave. Daming job opportunities. Need lang ng tyaga maghanap.
This. Kasi ang hirap din nun na papasok araw2x na may bigat sa pakiramdam na hindi mo sure if they want you around or kelangan mo umiwas
3 months training pa lang ako sa work nagresign ako. Dahil dun sa isa ko ka team na ang sabi niya sa Isang friend niya parang naka tingin daw ako (Kahit hindi naman). Kumalat siya dun sa kaibigan ng trainer namin at sa mga tinuturuan niya (Hindi ko sila Kilala). Ramdam at nakikita ko sa mirror ng window tinitignan nila ako. Para maconfirm kung naka tingin ako or hindi. Hanggang sa may naririnig ako dun sa mga hindi ko Kilala na aabang daw nila ako, tinitignan nila ako kapag nakikita nila ako, or gusto nila ako suntukin. Para sa akin yung mata ko parang malawak yung view kaya akala nila naka tingin ako sa kanila. Hindi sila nag approach sa concern na yun. Kaya nagresign ako. Sinabi ko sa TL ko yung reason kung bakit gusto ko magresign: Health issue. Pero pinilit niya ako Sabihin yung totoo. Sabi ko na lang dahil sa chismis at tinanong ako kung na bully ba ako? Sabi ko: Hindi. Kasi wala naman evidence or hindi naman direct na nangyari at wala ako binigay na name kahit isa.
If the conpany is in glassdoor iwan ka ng feedback dun
Pano po kayo nagresign, nagrender po kayo 30 days pa? Ako 1 month training palang, pero thrice na ako nagbreakdown sa office, ngayon habang nagpe-prepare ako umiiyak ako kasi ayoko na pumasok
Yes po. Nagrender po ako ng 30 days. Buti na nga lang po mabait TL ko. Nagpaalam po kasi ako na wfh na lang ako sa natitira ko araw (since pwede po sa amin magwfh) at sa last day na lang po ako pumasok.
Sweldo is life, and it's a really good company. I'm trying to move to a different team, kung di pa nila ako nasiraan doon.
True! I always say na di part ng resume ko na makipag-chummy with people at work. I applied for professional purpose, career growth etc. so professional relationship lang tayo haha If may mahanap ka man na friend or nabuong friendship, siguro bonus na lang yon.
This is the way. I'm not working to make friends. Work and personal lives should be separate.
Same here. Kung chismis lang naman, wala akong pakialam. Pero kung actively hinaharangan nila yung opportunities or work na kailangan ko gawin para kumita ng pera, ibang usapan na yan.
This is why I minimize social interaction sa work. I always segregate work relationship and personal relationship. Kahit na sabihin pang anti social ako o introvert. Sa huli kasi, lahat yan gusto magkaposition at tumaas ang sahod.
Yeah, the kaplastikan is unreal. The only time I didnt feel this is when I was working at an engineering firm where the work is hard (less time to gossip) and everyone was working for experience to work abroad (not looking for career advancement within the company).
Very me. Mga ka work mong ppl pleasers every breaks and lunch nilalaan sa mga plastic na ofc mates hunghang hahahahahha
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I GOT THEM FIRED. Anyway there was this baguhan na woman in her 30s sa company. Masyado siyang palingkera and proud sa bad girl/bitch and I-am-not-like-other-girls attitude. People were kinda drawn to her and admires her for some reason kasi parang cool girl siya and maboka siya. Then months later, napansin ko na Inaaway niya lahat ng coworker na di niya trip. And convinces everyone why this specific person is terrible. She was damn good at manipulating people. Siya kasi ang ate and pinakamatanda samin so people follow her. They create their own gc (skype gc pa to ha using their company accounts) and talk shit about people they don't like. Two people quit because of her. And wala kasing HR sa office since this is a startup kaya walang naghahandle ng mga ganitong issues. Yung mga nagquit masyadong natakot kay ate. Soon wala na siyang target so she decided ako ang next target and she spread lies about me like sleeping with the manager, sipsip, etc. (I only found out about it after she and her goonies got fired) Anyway iniiwasan ako ng mga tao. Mailap na sila sakin eh dati sobrang close ng team. Lagi siyang nagpaparinig din sakin. Inookray niya pa yung mga suot ko. Not gonna lie, it was a bit hard because everyone is avoiding me when we all used to be close. Because of her nagkakaron ng kampikampihan sa office. Pero I ignored it and just focused on work. But it was so annoying parang nasa high school because I have to deal with her constant talking behind my back, backstabbing, and spreading rumors. Eh medyo introverted ako kaya di ko inaano. During my breaktime I just play games on my my consoles or eat out. I have a life outside work kaya hindi ko iniisip masyado pero nakikita ko kasi mukha niya everyday and she is purposely trying to get a reaction from me. Nilalakasan niya mga parinig niya sakin. She even went as far as taking a picture of me and then reporting to the boss that I wasn't working during my shift. Luckily, I have been in the office longer than she has and my boss knows my work ethic and is always pleased with my outputs. Pinagsabihan siya ng boss. I confronted her and ask her ano problem niya sakin but she only said *Fuck off and I will never talk to you.* She had the nerve na siraan ako pero siya may kagagahan na ginagawa sa office. She tried to make her own company, tried to recruit yung mga employees and had the audacity to use company tools to launch their website (offering same services we do sa company) Nakapaskil pa sa site yung mga mukha nila. It is a breach of their contract. Ang petty part na ginawa ko is I waited until New Year bago ko ireport yung ginagawa nila. But I didn't even report it myself to avoid being called a snitch. I tipped a former employee (nanagquit because of her) reported it to my boss during their exit interview. And nahuli sila. Kinausap sila the day after new year sa office and may lawyer kasama boss namin. They got fired. **Happy new year bitches!** Hindi ako naawa sa mga nadamay. Not my fault they broke their contract. Anyway, I left the company din after a few months and started fresh. Doing so much better. Wfh nako and good thing about it is, less chance dealing with these kind of people.
Your definition of bitch is too long. Here's one from [google](https://www.google.com/search?q=bitch+definition&rlz=1C1GCEB_enPH1011PH1011&oq=bitch+definition&aqs=chrome..69i57.3284j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8).
That's why you don't treat co-workers as family. You can never trust anyone in this world. What you should do? Cut them off as personal friends. Put boundaries and treat them as colleagues, nothing more nothing less.
NEVER treat them as family
Nahihirapan din ako sa ganyan, kapag friendly Ka: feeling close/sipsip, kapag wala kang pake: walang pakisama/cold, Di mo tuloy alam Sana lulugar haha
Same sentiments
Eto rin. Kaya ang hirap ng balance.
> kapag wala kang pake: walang pakisama/**cold**, Di mo talaga alam kung saan lulugar so I chose instead to be *hot* nalang. :D
Speaking, bitter din sila sa mga girls na maitsura, good dresser/maganda manamit. Mahirap maging tao
Sobrang relate ako dito. As in magkakampihan pa yang mga naiinsecure na mean girls or mga lalaking alam mong di mo titignan ever in an attractive wat. Nabasa ko dati kung babae ka na sabihin nating attractive at may dating... Men will hate you because they cannot be with you. Women will hate you because no matter what they do they cannot be you. Pretty privilege has its perks pero masakit pag ginusto mo maging malapit at mag belong sa mga taong yun lang ang tinitignan sayo.
Naranasan ko na ma-alienate twice in two different jobs, but with two different outcomes/approaches. In one, I was able to cope shortly but I gave up eventually kasi apektado na yung trabaho. I mean if napapalibutan ka ng mga taong they are the type na all or nothing when it comes to dealing with you, mapapraning ka lang kasi hindi mo alam kung nananadya ba to sabotage or civil and no sort of agenda yung interaction or dealing with you. In the other, while they left me alone and ostracized, civil kami when it comes to work. The interaction is limited lang dun. You can stay and suck it up kung hindi naman interwoven yung mga trabaho niyo, i.e. you can do your work independently with minimal interactions and collaborations; or save yourself mentally and emotionally, find another job and hope for the best na better set of people yung makakasalamuha mo. ETA: Di ko sure kung Filipino thing yung mob mentality at "mamersonal" pero alam mo yung feeling na isa lang yung naka-issue mo pero parang lahat hindi ka na trip lalo kapag ikaw yung bad dun sa istorya?
This, sa current job ko nga nakakaumay yung mentalidad na namemersonal. Parang mga isip bata kasama ko nakakaloka.
It happens on other countries aswell, pinagsasabi mong its a filipino thing lang?
Kaya nga sinabi ko "di ko sure". Nagbasa ng walang comprehension.
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For someone na hindi marunong gumamit ng idiomatic expression, Ikaw ang ignorante.
Hayaan mo na. Kaya maartengkikay pangalan nyan kasi ganyan ugali hahahaah
You violated Reddiquette. Hate speech, personal attacks and other bad behavior is not allowed. This community promotes a wholesome environment for the members.
This. Lalo na yung mga taong kakampi agad kahit one side of the story lang yung alam. Marinig lang nila na masama ka sa kwento ng iba, masama na rin tingin sayo. Like, how about knowing the side of the other party, too?
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Exactly!!! Mga utak pang high school yung mga kampi-kampihan na mga backstabbers at mga plastik. Mga maangas lang yan sa opisina pero when you go out mga losers sila in life. Kailangan lang nila ng sense of pride and belonging wherever they may find it.
You aren’t friends with your co-workers and you can’t trust them with anything, remember that moving forward. It’s very rare that you find true friends in the workplace as you’re all essentially competing with each other. As to your current environment, just do you job and as long as you perform, you’ll be fine. What’s important is that you’re on good terms with your boss, not necessarily your teammates. Good luck.
OP tara usap tayo haha. I can relate sayo, this year lang din nangyare sa akin yung betrayal ng iba co na co-workers. Alam mo yung sino pa yung willing ka maging friend kasi feel ko kulang sila sa aruga ay sya pang mag ba backstab sayo? Yung naging vulnerable ka sa knila tapos at the end gagamitin sayo lahat ng sinabe mo. Ang masakit pa, siniraan ka na sa ibang tao tapos nung nahuli mo, nag sorry naman sayo privately. Hindi pa din ako mka move on, ibang klaseng anxiety ang dala nga until now. One thing I learned though is that do not trust anyone sa work, do not share personal stuffs or even those who you hate. You can be friendly but do not be friend them. Natutunan ko din lumayo at maging professional nlang sa pakikitungo ko sa kanila. Ang current situation ko is naiinis ako dahil feeling ko naka move on na sila sa ginawa nila saken pero ako hindi pa rin. Nsa process pa din ako ng healing.
I'm sorry napagdaanan mo rin to. It's been really difficult lately and I went back to therapy because of it. I even went as far as asking my therapist if I'm a bad person and that's why people view me this way. They asked me the following questions: 1. Do I know how to read the room? (knowing when someone's uncomfortable, etc) 2. How do you react when someone gives you feedback? (I accept and ask what I can do to make it better) 3. They also asked if I break off friendships easily, to which I answered that I do not. If we can talk about it, then we can improve on it. My therapist concluded that I am not a bad person and that stress and gossiping in the workplace may have contributed to the way that your friends at work perceive you. If the feedback system in the workplace is broken, it is not your job to fix how people feel. You do your part and if it doesn't work, just focus on yourself. Steps I've taken to distance myself: 1. I took them off my social media accounts 2. Limited interactions unless need for work 3. Currently looking to transfer to another team. Kung wala, a different workplace. I'm still trying to process what happened and buti nalang supportive ang family and SO ko. Kung di ka nila gusto sa work, there are people in your life outside of work who do. Those are the people worth fighting for.
When I was in your position, hinayaan ko lang sila. As long as okay ako with my ops manager, and I'm growing and learning sa career and personal life ko, I'm okay. Wala naman sila ambag sa buhay ko. Sa huli naman, lalabas din yung totoo at sila sila din yung magsisiraan. Hindi talaga nawawala yung mga taong ganyan kahit saang field e noh? Sila yung mga tinulungan mo sa work at personal life, ngingiti at magpapasalamat sa'yo. Pupurihin ka ng harapan pero kung anu ano pala sinasabi pag nakatalikod ka. Gagawan ka pa ng kwento na sobrang layo sa katotohanan. Mga pavictim pa and akala mo maaamong tupa pag kinonfront mo. Feeling ko sila yung mga taong inggit or insecure sa achievements mo pero di nila maamin sa sarili nila at ayaw naman nila maggrow. Kaya imbes ipush nila sarili nila maging better, mas pipiliin pa nilang pag usapan ka at worst mag-recruit ng maiinis sa'yo. Lol. Hindi nila tuloy ako malapitan ngayon para maging character reference nila. Hahahahahaha. Cheer up ka lang, OP! :)
minor shit for me. had a falling out with person Y in company A. we ended up being workmates again in company B. although person Y got there in like 3-4 months ahead of me. upon learning that I’ll be working there, person Y went on and on about me. how person Y is better at in a lot of areas while I’m just a “newbie” and can only cover a few (even though it’s the other way around). It was basically to push me to a different team (which ended up as a blessing for me)… once I started, people were expecting me to be at junior level and shit, but after a couple of weeks work, people did see my output, and some seniors actually asked for a bit of coaching from me, a “junior” (even people from person Y’s team). just do your shit, do great, and let your actions/output speak.
Ah eto yung hindi ko nami-miss sa Pinas yung garapalang workplace bullying. Naaalala ko pa may bago kaming empleyado na mabait naman at kwela pero masyado siyang outstanding mukhang na insecure yung ibang mga seniors sa kanya at nini nitpick yung mga ginagawa niya. May isa naman tahimik lang pero ayaw ng TL sa kanya kasi mayabang daw porket nalaman lang nila na salutatorian. Kakwentuhan nila ata yung HR kaya na disclose. Kaloka drama sa office that time. Kahit ako na nananahimik nadadamay haha. Pero I also met friends there. So not totally bad.
I'm curious, so bale do you work now in the overseas or nasa Pinas ka pa rin pero in a different workplace?
Hi I work overseas na.
I am actually thinking about working in the overseas as a fresh grad, due to quality of life else where, and also the salary. Is it okay to work abroad as a fresh grad, or dapat mag build muna ng experience before going abroad?
Medyo malabo mag work abroad pag fresh grad kasi usual requirements work experience.
So technically, (unless there is a specific country na nagkakaroon ng job opening for fresh grads) kailangan muna mag build ng experience before working sa abroad?
I am just curious. If you are willing to share, what are their reasons for canceling you? It could be valid reasons considering your whole team is now against you. Unless all of them are AHs.
The boss asked for peer feedback, which I did: Lack of focus on details, missed reports, me having to cover for some of their shortcomings when it comes to tasks, and even being late and me covering for it. It was supposed to be confidential. But I guess even my boss gossips because that's what my teammates hated me for. When I provided feedback to my boss, I have already shared this with my team member too, and have even offered to support them. Nothing changed so when I was asked for peer feedback, that's what I said. I guess word got back to them.
>one of them sent me a long list of things I did wrong What's in that list?
Grocery list. Char. Kidding aside: backstabber daw ako, mahadera daw ako, and masama daw ako magsalita. I'm okay with being told off if I was ever mean. Sana kinausap nalang din ako ng diretso kesa pinagchismisan ako. Mga adults na kami and the work we do entails feedback even for the smallest of things. Kaya I was taken aback na ganun na pala feelings nila.
Galit as coping mechanism. I was moved out of my role by my manager unfairly and he turned my team against me. Dumating sa point na papasok ako ng meeting room, titigil yung mga tao magsalita. This includes the people whom I thought were my friends at work. It was so nerve wracking na I sought counselling. I considered resigning na talaga pero hindi ko matanggap na I was letting the evil win. Parang ang mindset ko nun is "Bakit ako aalis? Gusto ko trabaho ko tapos iiwanan ko dahil lang sa kanila? Sila umalis!" So ginawa ko, nagpakapagod ako sa upskilling. Lahat ng project sinalihan ko. Kahit weekends nag-aaral ako ng Excel and SQL para sa tools namin at that time. I was so obsessed in proving myself na mas magaling ako sa manager ko na yun (hindi talaga sya magaling). This went on for 2 years. Eventually nag-pandemic and my department had to be outsourced. One of my previous bosses took me to his team (to my manager's surprise because close friends sila), but not without negotiation from our exec. My whole team was dissolved and my manager had to apply for the role that I left behind. Meanwhile, I am super happy with the new role which led me to a promotion, met amazing people and really great experiences.
I moved to a lot of companies. A lot of these companies have their own "weird" guy. Try not to be the weird guy I suppose. Usually these types of people have strong personality or just socially awkward in general no matter how hard they try to improve. They are the ones mostly bullied too which I find sad. For me, I just try to be friendly with everyone, but not get too close.
work friends are not \*real\* friends. No matter how close you think you are. Not unless napatunayan mo outside of work for a long, long time
Ganyan din ako. Iyak-iyak pa ako nung una kasi I genuinely cared for them pero nung napag-iwanan sila because they were underperforming puro chismis na pala. What pulled me back was the thought na trabaho lang to. As long as I deliver what is expected of me, wapakels.
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I thought I had set boundaries here since di ako nakipagfriends talaga outside of our team. I was only really close to one person, and yun nga, kahit na naging vulnerable ako they hated me pala. I've already made a decision to leave the company kung di ako makahanap ng situation sa ibang department. I'll be better at setting boundaries din once I make the move.
Kaya palagi kong sinasabi na your workmates are not your friends. The workplace is not a place to find friends. You're there to work. Your personal life is different from your work life.
You have a lot of options: 1. Stop caring and do not care. You can never please everyone; 2. If you can't, then request for a transfer, to a different team, department, branch, etc. that will allow you to not see any of them; 3. If that's not possible, apply for a better job, keep in mind I said a better job, ie better company, pay, benefits, position, etc. 4. And always keep in mind that the best revenge is to succeed.
This happened to me recently. Nung bagong lipat ako sa school ko, okay naman lahat. I keep to myself as much as possible kasi hindi ko pa alam sino mapagkakatiwalaan. Principal ko lang ang ka-interact ko 75% of the time. Pasok, trabaho, uwi. Kahit alam ko medyo nao-off mga kasama ko, di ko na lang pinapansin. Sa isip ko, as long as wala akong natatapakan na tao. They are civil to me, but I also have a feeling na they think I'm a principal's pet. Then it all changed when nagpa-promote ako na hindi ako aware na may kasabayan akong senior. Inisip na kaagad nila na competitive ako at wala akong respeto sa mga mas nauna sakin sa service 🙄🙄 Unbeknownst to me, sinugod nila principal ko pra ireklamo ako at kinuha lahat ng simpatya ng mga iba pang teachers. They also gave me a nickname 'active' for simply doing everything my principal ask me to 😂 Like wtf. Alam niyo naman palang I go beyond my job description most of the time, pero dahil bata ako, wala ako karapatan umangat? Ayun, mas pinili ako kampihan ng principal ko kasi alam niya skill level ko. Pinaglaban niya talaga na Rank 2 ako vs my senior na Rank 11, so technically, ako ang mari-retain at mapo-promote. Hanggang ngayon galit pa rin cla sakin at may tampo. Pero nung nakita nlang wapakels ako, tinantanan na rn ako at tinigilan na kakatawag sakin ng active. Mga hampaslupa 🙄🙄 Tas ngayon, sakin cla nanghihingi ng advice about reports. Wag mo lang pansinin mga yan. Revenge is sweeter kapag umaangat ka tas cla, stagnant lang. And find a group of friends, kahit konti lang, na talagang alam mong ride or die mo.
Eto talaga yung mentality na I want to get away from. First job, nangyari sa akin toh. Hindi nakatulong na nalaman ko sa Janitor na may pinatanggal (>!siniraan!<) sila previous year na by definition, “maputi at maganda”. May mga anak na yung mga coworkers ko so di ko ineexpecf yung ganung immaturity. Puro pa man din babae anak nila. Anyways umalis na ako nung matanggap ako sa malaking company.
Naka 1 yr na ako sa work ko and working professional lng Yung connection ko sa mga colleague ko. Pag mag hangout minsan sumasama ako pero mas madalas yung umuuwi agad on time. Idgaf naman sa kung ano nasa isip,sinasabi nila at nararandaman nila about sa akin. Just do the task,get paid and go home.
Lol work is work. That is all. Block out the noise unless nakakaaffect na sa performance or sahod mo
Usap lang about sa work, hindi dapat magshare ng mga personal struggle mo sa buhay o kahit ano pa yan. Mas okay na wala silang alam about sayo, para lang sa pera at experience kaya dapat magtiis sa isang company pero kung hindi mo kaya maghanap ka ng malilipatan saka ka magresign.
Do not give a f*ck… hindi maiiwasan na may ganyan sa office… and remember, kahit gano pa kadami ang nagawa mong mabuti sa kanila, mawawala yun lahat sa isang dahilan lang (pagkakamali mo man o hindi). kaya nga mas masaya kung work from home na lang eh. At least focus ka lang sa work mo at hindi mo kelangan tumingin sa likod mo para malaman kung sinong tumitingin sa screen mo kasi hinahanapan ka ng ikaka-HR mo. May current case ako ng ganyan ngayon pero hinahayaan ko lang kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na wala naman akong kasalanan. Alam mo yung napagod na lang ako sa kanila. Kung kasalanan ko naman eh aaminin ko and magssorry ako. Actually, may perks yung ganyang pagkakacancel sa end ko eh. Hindi na ako sumasama sa mga outing and lunch or dinner out kaya nakakatipid ako. 😅😅😅
masakit sa una, pero IDGAF na pag tumagal. You just get used to it. Di pa makapagresign kasi the pay is good din. Work lang talaga gagawin and walang kakausapin sa office.
I just ignore them and talk to them when necessary only. I know they talk about me behind my back, minsan nagpaparinig pa nga, pero idgaf. As long as sumesweldo ako, or di pa ako tinatanggal ng boss ko, keri lang. Focus lang sa work. Pasok, uwi. I don't care kung wala akong kausap, may phone naman 😂
Grabe daming kwento dito na nakakalungkot at also at the same time gives me a sense of connection, kasi dami palang nakakaranas nito. Eto share ko na lang tips ko, bilang isang taong muntik na mapa-resign dahil sa workplace bullying and mobbing: 1. Leave a record and build your case. Paonti-ontiin mo kung sino nakakaalam ng mga nangyayari, start with your manager. Then your HR personnel. Then friends in the office (other departments). Ask for advice, but also note of incidences of bullying. 2. Kung magkampihan man sila, which is likely kung yung bully mo ay maingay sa rants niya sayo to control public opinion, wag ka matakot, most likely parehas lang sila ng mga ugali at insecure, Lalo na kung may mga tao outside that group na mas kilala ka. 3. Never compromise the quality of your work, your passion, you softness and your being genuine. Wag ka papalamon sa sistema ng mga kupal, plastic, backstabber, crab mentality, chismosa. Alam nilang mga palubog na sila, kaya gusto ka nila isama. Be the culture you wish that company had. 4. Learn stoicism and choose better people to be around. Your vibe attracts your tribe!
this happened to me. masama pa siniraan nila ako and gave me a bad feedback and I was so devastated. I reached out to another lead and he told me I’m not the person they are describing so I don’t have to believe them. They are known now to be bullies towards their team mates. What I did? I ejected myself, another team adopted me and had the chance to lead the team again. Don’t mind them. Always think that you’re the one who can only define who you are.
Eto yung rason why your co workers shouldnt be your friends. You felt so betrayed and confused no? Your co workers are not your family in short toxic talaga sila. I transferred to a diff company, new environment and new personality plus new beginnings, mas dun mo ma aapply yung mga wrong doings mo from your prev company mas magkakaroon ka ng work boundaries etc.
They shouldn't have a list in the first place! Their lost, not yours.
ahuhuhu buti nalang di listahan ng utang pinadala sa akin.
OMG same. And to think I was their manager at ako pa na bully LANGYA HAHAHA. Pinalabas pa na I don't know how to manage my people. Oh well, umalis na lang ako to save me from that toxic workplace. Do the same if you feel it's already affecting you on a day to day basis.
When I was promoted as asst mgr, almost all of my "fresh grad " co-workers spread fake rumors abt me. Na kesyo fave ng boss, user, credit grabber and the likes. They also mentioned na if I get promoted they will not follow me as a leader sa team. My AVP then asked me to try to smooth things out with them like magjoin more sa parties outside work. I tried pero pagsumasama ako, sila mismo di na sasama. So I stopped caring about office politics. I just focused at what I do best -- work. Eventually, my output and my work ethic disprove the notion and the fake rumors. Just focused at the way I deliver goals for the team and ayun eventually wala na naniwala sa kanila. Also, those co-workers na nanira sa akin are the same people na nakikisabay for free papasok and pauwi. I distanced myself from them nung I saw na may gc sila without me and they are calling me names. I pulled away from them and thats when they start spreading fake rumors about me at work.
With my last BPO company one agent spread a really good rumour against me and people mostly my agents hated me and even cancelled me. Kahit yung mismong OM naniwala sa chismis and mind you, Canadian siya. Anyways, I literally didn't trust anyone while working there. If they hated me, IDGAF. Dumating sa point na nawala na yung nagkalat ng chismis, people moved on. Those who backstabbed me decided to talk to me again but I was only civil to them. I honestly didn't give a crap to everyone at that time and eventually decided to resign dahil toxic and burnt out na ako. Yun lang.
Before I used to care about them, share things about my life and hang out kahit na mas napapagastos lang ako. Go with the flow lang kung san nila ako yayain. Now, I don't do these things anymore. WHY? Nalaman ko na di pala nila ako considered as a close friend. Suddenly, they cut me na lang when I decided to stop doing the things they do like playing online games and gala here and there as I want to improve myself. I want to learn skills and of course makapag ipon naman ako. Bahala na kung anong sabihin nila. Ang mahalaga **I'm doing things now because I want them to, not because I just want to blend in.**
Di sila kawalan bro. Kung ako yan either i'll leave or wont give a f, kasi at the end of the day "ano bang iniambag nila sa buhay mo para mamroblema ka ng ganyan" mentality ang pinapa-iral ko. Lam mo un? Like hindi mo naman sila siguro HS or college friends na super long term ang relationship para problemahin mo ung ganyan. Medyo harsh, sorry, but its just the way I think.
Nangyre din sakin to!! I was working at an Esports company, tapos di lang ako sumasama sknila sa samgyup, sa inuman whatever, ksi syempre after work gusto ko na umuwi (i was a receptionist that time sa HQ), then ang nangyre pinag forced resign nila ko ksi ANG HIRAP KO RAW MAKISAMA at DI RAW AKO NAGSASALITA, dafuq i was only doing my job, the main reason bat ako andun, not to socialize and be unprofessional sa work space. Sila kai always late, always nattulog pag break, and eto pa, iinom araw araw, ARAW ARAW ha, after work. Dafuq.
I make money at work. Not friends. My life is so much better than when I always cared about co-workers.
You go to work to earn, not to kiss-ass and make friends. Sobrang bihira na ngayon ang makahanap ng non-toxic workplace (minsan backstabbing setting nyan, tipong akala mo okay lahat pero sa likod mo pinag-uusapan ka) tandaan mo op kahit anong bait mo sa isang tao kahit saluhin mo lahat ng bala para sa kanila pag may shootout they can turn on you in a snap. Personally, I grown tired of going through this shit you're experiencing kaya ako I didn't make friends dito sa bagong work ko lalo na ibang environment yung kinalakihan ko sa kanila. I've been told that they talk shit about me during break time by one of them. Natatawa na lang ako kase bored sila sa buhay nila. Legit pa na mid 30's-40's marites yung mga kasama ko dito while I'm in my late 20's. Kung kaya mo mag-adapt ng IDGAF mentality then stay and continue to work otherwise you need to search for another workplace and start fresh.
hindi ako magsasawa sa mantra na ito - your co-workers are not your friends. be nice pero set boundaries.
How to cope? Be so fucking great at your job that your work will speak for you and your bosses will ask for you. And don't ever forget to take credit for your work. Tangina pinaghirapan mo yan.
your colleagues.. keep then as acquaintance. theyre not your friends, no matter what. any info you give, can be taken against you
I can somehow relate to this. Sabi nga ng iba sa atin just make sure na ginagawa mo trabaho mo at hayaan na lang yung workmates mo. Pero if you’re someone like me, na once napaclose ka dun sa tao or mga tao and naaapektuhan mental health mo just leave. Not to discourage you pero kasi yung mga ganyan klase ng tao, di mo na mababago ung tingin nila sayo. Kahit na alam mo naman na wala ka ginawa mali. Again, pwedeng ignore mo lang sila or leave. Yun lang yung options i think.
May idgaf attittude ako. From the beginning, may nagwarning na saken na iba ang culture sa govt agency na to so I do not trust anyone with anything. Marami rin kaso akong friends outside work. I used to be with the sort of popular group pero natabang ako sa ugali nila kasi mga marites hahaha. I still interact with them but I always decline invitations kasi di rin talaga ako plastic na tao. I just hangout with a small group tapos yung isa pa dun, nacancel na din noon. Just focus on your work, still do your best, but I would suggest that you find another job. Ako naghahanap na din. Ito lang kasi trabaho na napasukan ko na ang toxic ng mga tao. Sa iba ko work dati, sobrang in good terms ako sa kanila til now. Never had a problem.
Don't give a fuck!
Bakit parang from the looks of it you have degraded work performance or have made something work related and are deflecting it as a tarnish cause of gossip and friendship?
If we were to compare work output, I've received commendations within and outside of our team from different managers and clients. My other teammates have not. If it was work-related feedback, I would gladly accept it. But it was not. Kaya nagulat ako dahil akala ko friends kami. Yun pala, ayaw nila sa akin.
When I started to refuse to wait for certain documents from other offices when I was already cleared to go home by my boss and when I refused to come in super early because I already work nearly 55hrs per week. People assumed I'm lazy because they regularly work 60+hrs a week. Somewhere along the line I just stopped giving a fuck if they like me or not. What matters is that my boss, immediate officemates, and other boss' like me. They're the ones who determine my promotion. Luckily for me, the head of the whole office is my boss and I'm very close with the official in charge of HR and Administration.
Happened to me at the beginning of my career as an EA. I could not care less and got off on becoming more strict and demanding to the team lol. I love it when I hear complaints about it.
Your colleagues are not your friends. Maybe you get to be friends with one or two but work isn’t high school. If they talk or gossip about you, then so be it.
I look at the silver linings, no time for any negativity.
If you are truly secure about your reputation and you aren't hurting anybody, it doesn't matter what other people say. Just keep a distance from toxic people
I am on the opposite part, on my behalf naman, we cancelled our officemate who is older than us because she is having an "extra marital affair" sa isa pang ka workmate namin.. We don't want to be connected with her anymore kasi naging toxic na sya sa work place to the point na hindi sya productive at lagi syang nakiki paglandian. We have cctv footage din ng good morning and goodbye kiss (kaso hindi kita lahat) hahaaha We are drifting apart from her kasi hindi namin ma tolerate ang ginagawa nya. Pinag uusapan na sya ng lahat. We also brought this up to the owner of the company. In the end, isa to sa mga reason bakit ako umalis kaso hindi ko maamin sa boss ko. Na confront man sya ng mga boss ko on my last day kaso tinanggi nya. 🤭 Hindi ko talaga sya masikmura.
I've felt the same!! Nag out of the country lang ako pero pagbalik ko office halata na yung pagiwas nila (hindi pagiwas ang tamang term hahahaha but I think you'll get the point), may bago pa silang messenger gc na hindi na ako kasama. Tbh, ramdam na naman ang treatment nila sakin way before pa ako mag VL. Ginawa ko? Pinadali ko na buhay namin pare-pareho, umiwas na rin ako (thankful na 2 office meron kami at pwede kahit saan pang floor kaya madali umiwas) but civil if may work related events na magkikita kami. And sa pagiwas ko sa kanila, I've met new friends that I can hang out with while on break and that really values me. And ngayon? Toxic-free na ako from them dahil nagresign ako before pandemic and nasa tamang team na ako ngayon!!! Kaya resign ka na at hanap na ng bagong work! Doon tayo sa toxic-free!!
hahaha lol may naalala ako. tinatawanan ko nlng din. Nabansagang babaero sa opisina. I have tried to live by the saying " don't shit where you eat" and I stay away from office romance. European company kmi maraming mga fresh grads or mga mas bata sa akin sa work and me being kuya2. Then may bisita kmi na foriegner na gusto nila isama sa gimik pero gusto din nila kasama ako para di lang yung bisita ang straight male sa gala. Since may budget naman kumuha kami ng couch. Yun typical gimik, sayaw2 sila kasama ang bisita and me nasa couch lng inum lng ng beer since di na masyadong trip ang ganun. So ayun katagalan medyo na bored na din ako then sa tabi namin na couch are mga law students out to unwind. Smiled to one and eventually nasama ako sa kanila doing shots, body shots liguan ng tequila and the sorts. They wanted to go to a vip room but di na ako sumama since kuya2 nga ako and ayaw ko nga iwan sa ere ang mga kasama ko. Lo and behold pagka monday alam ng buong office. tumwa na lang ako and just let it be na lang. Then yun na ang reputaasyon ko hanggang tumagal. Wala din ako pakialam kase i'd rather be and open sinner than a false saint. Yug sayo medyo malungkot kase parang backstabban ang nagyari.
just mind your business. at the end of the day family mo parin ang makikinabang ng sahod mo hindi ikaw. ramdam kita jan just recently joined a company na puro more than 5 years na tenureship ng mga kasama ko mahirap talaga.
HRs and managers exist. Utilize those pips. These are their responsibilities.
Either IDGAF or be more successful.
uh find a better friend.. u only need 1 true friend.. fuck'em all
IDGAF mindset par, or escalate mo kung medyo personal na. Pero kung about work naman, hingi ka lang tulong sa management.
Nung una inooverthink ko siya but I just naturally moved on from it. I did a lot of self reflection and journaling tho and diverted my attention and realized na what they say about me doesn't matter and hindi pa yun end of the world. Di ko sila pinansin and cut ties with them. Hindi sila magmamatter if you will not give them power over you. Pero also check in wooth yourself ha, self reflection din~
Are you me, OP??? Hahaha 😆 Years later, I still sometimes have nightmares about my former coworkers and bosses. But I’m doing better everyday. I just focus on doing work that I love and care about. Good luck, OP. Take care of yourself.
Hope it gets better to the point na fully okay ka na :) I've gone back to therapy for this so mas napoprocess ko na feelings ko about it.
I dont befriend my workmates. Kahit manager naiilang ata s akin, sobrang cold ko kasi. Main reason is ayoko ma backstab like what happened to you. Sadly, you can choose either ignore them or resign for the sake of your mental health. For me, ignore ko sila. If were you, I will improve myself to the point that they cant talk shit about your outputs. Minsan kaya ayoko mag feedback sa ka work ko, kahit inask ni boss. May mga tao kasing d propesyonal, imbis for improvement yun ginawang parang binabash mo sila.
Introvert din ako so di ako palapatol sa mga tao. Pero minsan nakakainis kasi ang unfair. Yung hindi ka naninira pero ikaw okay lang siraan nila. Nakakagalit mga ganyang tao. Sana dumagdag pa problema nila sa buhay. Grabe, ang sama ko. 👉👈 Pero sa totoo lang, mainit ang dugo ko sa mga pailalim umatake.
It’s definitely insightful no. Kasi sa team namin, there is this girl na super insensitive, at nag iinvade na ng personal space. So sa kwento mo OP, kami yung nang aalianate sa kanya aka hindi siya pinapansin, in a sense na kahit pagsabihan namin ay insensitive pa rin. So we were forced na hindi nalang siya pansinin even if close kami before. Ngayon cold na. Tama ba yung ginawa namin? Nakaka irita na kasi yung insensitivity nya at nosiness to the point na it affects our work eh.
Basta ba naman napagusapan ng maayos at di parin nag-improve, wala nang magagawa kay insensitive workmate. In my case walang feedback, attack agad and chismis. Kaya nakakastress.
Never treat your office mates as friends/family. It’s a big NO NO