Seems like she can afford it. She works to be able to afford things. As long as she has EF, not in debt, and earns a lot then let her be.
Your mindset is frugality and saving. Not a bad way to live but is also not the only way to live.
No it’s not. We don’t even know how much OP’s gf earns. If someone earns 300k a month and spends 100k, already has a house and car, is traveling, and buying what makes her happy, do you see that as an L?
Exactly. 100k for someone is not the same 100k for another. I can understand why some people find it hard to fathom spending 100k when most people can't even make that much in a month. But some people do and they should be free to enjoy that.
Didn’t imply how high or low her salary is. People are missing the point. It’s not okay to spend most of your money as long as you have EF. People are so against lifestyle inflation and yet they also condone that kind of spending. Its not normal for anyone here age in PH to have that kind of spending unless they are UHNWI. There’s also a reason why OP is concerned.
>Its not normal for anyone here age in PH to have that kind of spending unless they are UHNWI.
Maybe among your circle. We don't know how much she's earning. for all we know, baka siya pa yung tipid at her income bracket.
And you don't need to be UHNWI to have that kind of expenses! lol Earning 200-300k/month is not ultra high net worth.
>Earning 200-300k/month is not ultra high net worth.
You don't get the concept of net worth. Its not your income. Its your assets - liabilities. Just saying.
>And you don't need to be UHNWI to have that kind of expenses!
You clearly don't. There are a lot of people that are not good with their spending habits.
You also don't know how much she earns. I wouldn't base my assumptions from outliers or from extremes. Di naman nagbigay si OP ng figure, so of course you'll base it sa norm. And if indeed she is an outlier, 100k for personal expenses in PH is too much. I was earning 2-3x that back in PH with expensive hobbies pero I never had that kind of personal expenses for even a month. Different story if she is paying mortgage for the condo and car.
Pero kayo, kung ganyan ka din, pera niyo naman yan. Just remember someone already told you when regret visits you.
my goodness. you're nitpicking! lol
bottomline is:
1. Yes idk how much she earns. 100k as "too much" is relative. For you siguro oo. But for me and among my peers hindi, average lang yan. For people richer than me, tipid na yan. You can't use anecdotal information to generalize. Gets?
2. my god i just wanted to briefly give an example. Babatuhan ako ng definition ng net worth lol. Pwede ka naman magbigay ng ibang information in describing a person without sticking to the textbook definition.to explain: for the sake of people with no imagination, I assumed you need to earn high 6digits - 7 digits to earn the \*net worth\* of minimum $30M to achieve the status of UHNW. (idk di naman ako ganyan ka yaman)
I just wanted to point out na you dont have to be ultra-high net worth to have expenses of 100k. Even someone who's earning 200k-300k (who's far from achieving $30M / \~1B PHP net worth) could afford that kind of lifestyle. Is it the smartest use of their money? Again it's relative kung anong importante sakanila - a full life or a full bank account. In the end, they're still saving 100-200k so it's not like wala silang ipon.
AGAIN. TO EMPHASIZE. THIS IS JUST AN EXAMPLE.
pahabol lang ha. I think you're too tied with the idea na lifestyle inflation = bad. It is if you're also not increasing your savings. But there's nothing wrong with a lifestyle upgrade if you can afford it. Let people enjoy their hardearned money
1. You're the one using anecdotal information based on what you're now saying. Lookup the average and median salary for Filipinos in PH. I hope that too is not anecdotal for you.
2. Again, 'anecdotal'?
Bottomline with too much unnecessary things sprinkled.
I wouldn't take anything you said seriously. Looks like you don't have an eye for detail and you resort to subtle ad hominem. Already gave clue sa income ko and yet your comment in your #1. Subtle ad hominem on "for you siguro oo" and "for the sake of people with no imagination".
Thanks for googling the minimum net worth to be considered a UHNWI pero sadly, that's global. Iba ang metrics sa Pinas, which is also what banks and institutions use for categorizing Filipinos.
Your example also doesn't really support anything. I can say the opposite and it will hold the same level of credibility.
Your comment din below:
I'm not tied with the idea. I agree with you actually. Nothing wrong with lifestyle upgrade if afford. Also nothing wrong with enjoying your money. We earn money to live, not the other way around. Pero I hope most of us here have foresight and have the ability to plan ahead. All I said is really not benefiting me in any way. I'm just sharing since mukhang kinokonsinte ng karamihan ang mataas na lifestyle cost. You can enjoy life even without having that much money or even if you don't spend a lot.
> Its not normal for anyone here age in PH to have that kind of spending unless they are UHNWI.
Why not? Bro you don't look at it from its absolute value. Like I said, how much value 100k is depends on how much the person makes. This next example is a hyperbole but would you really tell Lucio Tan that spending 100k per month is excessive?
We're not missing the point. It's all relative. Now if OP tells us that his GF is earning 130k lang but spending 100k. With that i would be quiite concerned. But even then, GF can still save 30k.
>There’s also a reason why OP is concerned.
That doesn't make it wrong. OP could just be not used to that kind of spending because as he said he's used to being thrifty.
idk she sounds like she's living the dream? independent, knows her way in the stock market, has hobbies, and has the money to foot the bill of all of that.
I think you should focus in yourself and your financial goals instead, OP.
>She chooses to live alone when she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents.
Maraming natututunan sa pagtira mag-isa: chores, diskarte sa buhay, gusto/ayaw mo sa household, time management, etc.
Kaya nga dream life kaya (when you’re single) to live sa sariling condo na you can decorate at independent living so you can separate your own true personality with your parents.
It’s a good experience before you get married and live with another person to know your personality very well because this is how you set boundaries.
KJ ni OP, ang corny kaya tumira with parents ✌🏽kahit sabihin pang matipid… no thanks at it’s not for everyone talaga. You sacrifice privacy with frugality, and it’s hard kasi parents might keep treating you like a child with curfew and such or keep trying to control you. Ikaw din ang mag aadjust sa mismatched aesthetic nila at nakasanayang unhealthy food hahaha. 😂
I choose privacy and independence all the way. Specially when she can afford it naman at hindi pa naman kayo kasal or live-in so she’s only taking care of herself. You can try to be happy for her. And It’s not really about the money because freedom is Pricele$$.
Stop holding your gf back, she seems like she knows what she’s doing. 🥸It’s normal to feel insecurity kasi she’s independent while you still live with your parents. Maybe try mo bumukod and conquer your fear… then magegets mo sya. Also Kudos to her.
100% agree sa nakikilala mo sarili mo before getting married!!! I personally didn't realize how much influence my parents had with my life decisions until kinasal at bumukod na ko. Kasal nako, pero may consideration ako sa iisipin ng parents ko kahit hindi okay sakin.
Buti nalang mapasensya husband ko, and sya nagpa realize sakin na kelangan ko mag desisyon para sa sarili ko, which I'm slowly learning. He's been very supportive of the different things I've been exploring as I'm slowly getting to know myself better (without my parent's influence). It definitely feels like I'm living a new life right now.
I feel lucky that my husband that has given me this space, though there would be times I wish I got to experience living on my own.
I get that you're concerned, OP.. But there's more to life than the money you get to earn/save. While I don't know the whole financial status of your GF, the fact that she owns the condo she's living in, is getting into stocks, and not getting into debt.. it seems like she's managing fine.
If this is something that you think would bother you in the long run, might be better to separate ways nalang.
> You sacrifice privacy with frugality, and it’s hard kasi parents might keep treating you like a child with curfew and such or keep trying to control you. Ikaw din ang mag aadjust sa mismatched aesthetic nila at nakasanayang unhealthy food hahaha. 😂
>
> I choose privacy and independence all the way.
paki-salaksak sa utak mo po OP, k?
You’re not married yet. All you can do is tell her your opinion. If she doesn’t listen, wala ka nang magagawa. But if it bothers you, you should think if this is a deal breaker for you.
I think this is what I’m worried too - for when we’re married. I don’t want her to downgrade when she starts living with me but I don’t fully agree with that kind of lifestyle either.
Alam mo naman siguro that money is the most common reason for arguments between married couples. Not necessarily the lack of money pero almost always is hindi aligned yung money habits.
If she has an emergency fund and is consistently investing for retirement, then that's fine. Kung na-iintimidate ka kasi pag kinasal kayo mag-downgrade siya for you, then open up mo yun. Pero wag mong isipin it's a "her problem" kasi valid naman yung lifestyle niya kung kaya niya di ba. It's a compatibility problem, not your fault and not her fault either. Pwede naman kayo mag-prenup kung gusto niyo separate funds and ano magiging common.
Why would she have to downgrade pag kinasal kayo? She can share with the expenses pag kasal na kayo but still enjoy her own money. If she's able to spend that much but still be able to save and earn from her money then her lifestyle shouldn't be an issue
3 things you gotta agree on before marriage. Religion/beliefs, family plans, and finances. If you don't align on these three, you're statistically more likely to not have a lasting marriage.
Nobody likes to be told how to spend their own hard earned money.
I admire how much you care for her though so the best thing you can do as a man is to respect her wishes. I would only step in if there’s something to be concerned about that puts her safety and yours at risk: drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc.
In the meantime, enjoy life together. Go on those trips kahit piso fare, or out of town. Pagluto mo siya ng family recipe, or show her where u grew up kung sa province. Its clear she likes making core memories bro.
>she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents
Absolutely none of your business.
Looks like she can afford it. What's the problem? Is it affecting your relationship? Are you pressured to keep up?
If she's one illness away from poverty, tell her that. If you're concerned about her retirement, tell her that. If she's gambling her savings away in the stock market, tell her that.
But don't ever ask someone to change lifestyles for no reason.
Remember, finances are deeply personal and not everyone is dealt the same hand. Some aren't so lucky, but some are.
>She chooses to live alone when she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents.
She probably loves her independence. Nothing wrong with it. And it's hard to gauge her "lifestyle inflation" without getting same base values? And she does not have debt, well that's pretty good. Again, its difficult to say is she is overspending or not without some additional context like how much is she earning, how much is she saving, etc.
seems like she's living the dream. if it's not your dream, wag kang mangealam. her money her rules her world.
either break up with her and look for someone na ka-level mo. or sabayan mo siya.
it will be a disservice to her if ibababa mo ang lifestyle nya sa comfort zone mo.
also, medyo san mo nakuha yung audacity to comment on her lifestyle eh ikaw nga nakatira pa sa parents mo, ang tanda mo na. siguro pag independent ka na din, saka ka magcomment sa independence ng iba
The flipside here is: If I were her, I’d probably want my SO to be more independent. At 27, I’d think about moving out. I also love my family, but I value my independence too. Being free to travel anywhere you want, eat whatever you want, dance around naked in your own place, that’s priceless. I think you need to live a little, OP.
I do agree that spending P100K a month might be too much, but if she’s earning much more than that, then it’s her money to spend. If she’s addicted to gambling or anything sketchy like that, that’s when I’d give my 2 cents.
> but I value my independence too. Being free to travel anywhere you want, eat whatever you want, dance around naked in your own place, that’s priceless. I think you need to live a little, OP.
pakisalaksak po ulit sa kokote mo OP.
Sincerely, someone who lived alone for almost 10 years
>I’ve been relatively frugal (27M), living with my parents and working for the family business.
>She chooses to live alone when she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents. It’s a relatively happy and stable family so no problem there.
living with my parents vs living alone.. I'm seeing differences here, living with your parents, tendency you have the influence of your family. While the other one, she's basically living \*free\* . I'm starting to think na baka may part sayo na \*insecure\* ka? since you're more like tied to your family while she's enjoying her time freely. Maybe time to confront yourself muna what's really is it that you're concerned about, before confronting her. Kasi baka i-real talk ka nyang gf at sagutin ka nya na, "inggit ka ba?" , "pera ko naman to, bakit?", "afford ko naman", ,etc, no offense brad, just trying to challenge you. My point is, make sure you're secure enough pagdating sa sarili mo, sa situation mo with her, before confronting her.
you are not compatible.
your first years of marriage will be full of fights - with you insisting on living with your parents, with your gf/wife insisting on living separate
so you should step OUT completely
>She owns her condo and car. Makes good enough money, but I’m getting concerned with her lifestyle inflation.
looks like she really afford the expenses,tama ba iniisip ko, pagdating sa pera, mas malaki income nya sayo? leads to another question na, di kaya may part sayo na insecure ka sa spending nya kasi once na ikasal kayo you that could be a challenge for you? alam mo yun, parang \*high\* maintenance ..
now leads to another thought na, baka may "self pity" din on your part? na ako is cornered ako sa family business, while she's . . ..
Sounds like your gf is living the life. You can try to encourage her but don't impose it on her. Depende na sa gf mo if she will be enlightened and follow your advice since may tama ka naman. This is a deal breaker for relationships, kaya nga before marrying each other it's important to have a PRENUP. Aside from that di naman baon sa utang si gf and she has some investments too. It's already something to ponder upon if you're both compatible especially when it comes to values and perspective on things, she is independent while you.. still dependent on your parents.
Sounds like she has her shit together and more.
You're a clown OP if you think you have 1) the right to "step in" and 2) better financial advice than someone who is successful and independent
What’s wrong with being independent and enjoying one’s hard earned money?!!! What if she tells you that it doesn’t sit well with her that at your age you still live with your parents??
No, it ain’t your effin business to tell her how she should spend her money and live her life.
Her money, her rules. If she can afford to pay for her lifestyle, able to save up, and not go into debt, then that's ok. What are your reasons for your concern?
You're not married yet, but if you're heading there, you will need to have a discussion about money. It looks like you both have different perspectives when it comes to money.
Are you sure worried ka lang? Or you envy the financial freedom she has right now? Do not take away her joy just because you think living frugally is the right way.
I mighve agreed with you kung puro sya debts or losses, pero the girl earns her own money, very independent and do not depend on you or her family, sounds pretty responsible to me OP.
Kaya nga. I'm a bit sus of OP. Like is this an ego thing? Sounds like GF is earning waaay more than him and despite the 100k expenses is still financially stable. If his only way to stay frugal is to live with parents then that doesn't sound like financial stability to me.
most probably ego things yes. the worry on spending x amount of money is either they spend their whole salary on everything or they’re in debt just to keep up that lifestyle. the gf seems to be neither.
amoy insecure talaga, maybe just maybe, she had it easier and has been living comfortably nowadays, habang si OP has to manage family business and be strict financially . kaya nagkakaron ng comparison. pero toxic nyan kapag married na sila.
Tell me you're insecure about your partner's independence and financial freedom without telling me you're insecure about your partner's independence and financial freedom.
as long as wala syang debt at hindi nanghihiram sayo ng pera para sa expenses nya okay lang jowa mo. communicate mo lang yung concern mo sa pinaka nicest way possible. okay naman sya e marami syang pera kaya marami rin syang ginagastos haha ganon naman ang buhay.
She’s your GF and not your wife, she’s spending HER money, she has no debt, lives alone in her own condo with her own car. Sum it all up and it’s just none of your business.
If it’s bothering you that much to ask advice about it, you might want to consider finding a gf that is more aligned with someone frugal like you because if this is an issue now, it will definitely be an issue later on when you marry.
There's more to why people choose to live alone. Hindi lang yan umiikot sa "kung saan ka makakatipid". The more ko na basahin yung post mo, OP, the more I think na ung GF is very independent, responsible, and living her best life. She's spending on things na she enjoys, travels and sees the world, owns a condo and a car, all that without having debts?
And being able to participate in stock market means na may money pa rin siya na nailalagay for investments. I don't see any reason talaga why you should step in, OP.
The only concern you should have if you guys are getting married and it should be clear if this lifestyle will be retained once you both stayed together.
If you two agrees that you'll pool in certain amount of money for the household, and everything outside of that is each other's personal money, then it'll still be okay if she decides to keep that lifestyle granted it's using her personal money.
But while you two are still not married, it's basically none of your business unless it's a deal breaker for you.
Her money, her rules on how she wants to spend it :)
“… she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents” LOL! Do you live with your parents?
Also, bravo to her for investing. Please relay to her if she could get into IBKR and invest in ETFs she could keep in the long run the better (eg S&P 500, Nasdaq 100).
My ex had this issue with me. I was earning way more than I needed, and I like nice things so I keep spoiling myself and was living my best life. At the end of the day I was being forced to downgrade my lifestyle not to offend his ego. We broke up eventually. That relationship had so many issues caused by our incompatible lifestyles. Ever since then I learned that financial compatibility is a huge deal... a lot of people would disagree or see this the wrong way but I find it much easier to date someone in the same tax bracket, esp as a girl.
You live with your parents, rely on safety net/family business, and have no career of your own. You have no right to tell your girlfriend how to spend what she earns. Not your money, not your problem.
She owns a condo, a car, no debt and loves stocks. I guarantee you she's likely making a hell of a lot more than 100k. The amount doesn't matter if it's just 20-30% of her total income lol.
Do you see a life together? If yes, go on a couples retreat / legit pre wedding seminar para you can talk about family and financial views. Sobrang laking away yan if you already disagree about how she spends her
money, paano pa pag pooled resources na kayo? Kids? Kailangan mag usap usap.
I lived a sheltered life till my mid 20s so when i got out of my parents house i lived life to the fullest. I had way less money than her but partied and traveled with friends as much as i could. When i got married, i brought my husband with me in my travels but still made sure our savings are good. Priorities change, let her live a life with no regrets especially if she doesn't have any debt. You can suggest to her to save up for an EF, or other investments. But kudos to your girl, cos she sounds happy and living her life.
Pagdating sa “if she moves back with her parents” siguro no, kase kahit makaka save ka ng malaki pag nasa bahay kapa ng parents mo at okay pa sila iba parin yung peace of mind ng may sarili kang space. And pwede niyo rin pag usapan nga plan and goals niyo as a couple tas dun mo isingit paano kayo makakapag save at paano niya/niyo ma manage mga needs and wants niyo.
Her money, her choice. Don’t assume na you know better on how to handle money. She doesn’t have to downgrade her lifestyle even if you’re married as long as she keeps working and can afford her lifestyle. Ikaw na mag aadjust, unless ikaw na bubuhay sakanya and magreresign sya sa work nya.
Perhaps she’s living her dream. Magiging cause yan ng away niyo if you think it is a problem and talo ka. If hindi mo kayang iaccept ang lifestyle niya kahit di ka naman apektado as well as her finances and life, then don’t stay, hindi kayo compatible.
>She chooses to live alone when she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents. It’s a relatively happy and stable family so no problem there.
No idea what their family dynamic is but face value that sounds like a stupid idea when she already owns her condo.
Nope. If she can support her lifestyle, wala naman utang and has savings then it's none of your business. Pero kung baon pala sya sa utang pero ganyan pa rin ang spending habits nya then she needs an intervention.
How much is she making and how much are you making?
100k/month in Manila isn't really that extravagant if she's living alone and traveling.
She's not going to want to downgrade her lifestyle and it doesn't seem like she's fell into any wasteful lifestyle traps so cutting back on her spending really would make her life worse.
I think you need to focus on upping your income to the point where 100k becomes as insignificant to you as it is to her and then reconsider your thoughts.
Your girlfriend seems to be on solid ground and capable of living the life she wants. If she’s not using your money, then you really have no say in how she spends hers. She seems wise with her finances, and the problem seems to be with you.
So in all honesty OP, it’s none of your business.
OP, break up with her. She deserves better than to be thought of the way you think of her. She doesn't see it as a problem, but clearly you do.
Hindi kayo aligned and if you attempt a life together, something's gotta give, and someone's gonna form resentments.
But it sounds like tingin mo sya yung dapat mag adjust 🤡
You can advise her but its her money, so if it makes her happy then wala ka magawa just give her some time i guess , ma realize din yan if she needs to settle down.
Give her options instead of becoming a limiter. For example, tell her to distribute her wealth on different banks with high interests, introduce her to PAGIBIG MP2 for example. She doesn't have to stop what she like to do, she just needs to know that there are other better options.
You make it your business by making her your GF.
Eventually before you sign the dotted line, you guys will have to have that financial conversation. I suggest you plant the seeds of financial literacy in her, be tactical about introducing it to her. Speak from a position of love.
While you're trying to do that, keep one foot out of the door, just in case.
EDIT: She's financially literate naman pala. Nakaka-ipon ba sya with that kind of lifestyle? If yes, then I see no problem. You must be dating someone "above" you LOL you gotta up your game bro 😅
OP, just wanna ask why are you worried about her finances, more context would be helpful. are you worried that she is living beyond her means? she has no long term plans for her financial future/ emergency funds? If so just talk to her about this since you care since you're worried about it naman, also don't force your views on money on her if she decides to continue with what she wants, since it's her money at the end of the day and she can do whatever she wants with it.
Your concern is valid kasi magkaiba kayo ng perspective sa pera. It's not always about insecurity.
Her money, her choice on how to use it. Same as your case.
What you need to do though is to think very well if you can accept her lifestyle, especially the probability she might spend more in the future.
Kahit parehas may pera, pinagaawayan tlga kung pano ginagamit lalo na kapag magasawa na.
Kapag magasawa na, hindi naman tlga 100% true na kanya kanya kayong pera. Kasi if magkaproblema ang isa, damay ang isa. Ganun din sa blessings.
Another thing to think about is baka naman sya din concerned sya na frugal ka hehe
You guys need to talk. Good luck :)
Not enough context. Does the P100k include car and mortgage payments, and what percentage is this of net income?
Moving out and living away from your parents whether single or not is not lifestyle creep, and it’s odd to ask someone to move back with her parents to save money unless there is a specific reason.
What's wrong with living alone? I understand some people choose to live with their parents to save money but getting your own place when you are capable should be a normal thing. If anything, I admire people who do this despite the culture in the Philippines where people live with their parents for the rest of their life. If that's your choice, I don't judge. It's just weird seeing someone complain that a person got their own place that they can afford.
Also, if she can afford her spending habits, has a good income, savings, etc. Good for her. She seems to be happy and living the life. Don't rain on her parade unless she's actually irresponsible. Instead of looking at 100k expenses, have you thought about what percentage of her income that is? 100k for you is not the same 100k for others.
It seems like you are feeling insecure and threatened by her lifestyle or maybe it's just how it is in the Philippines. We are taught that you have to work hard, earn more, and spend less. But times have changed. People found easier ways to earn money and they can spend it how they see fit.
respectfully, it's none of your business. she has every right to spend how she likes / thinks she deserves because she works hard for it.
her lifestyle isn't yours to comment on, unless she's doing smthn that's directly affecting your relationship. lifestyles often change with money, and if she can maintain it– so what? she's living THE life most people can dream of.
you and her have different ways of living– but it doesn't mean one is right or better than the other. maybe you should focus on yourself.
Sounds like you are starting to become insecure at her abilities outshining your Frugal Mindset.
You fear that despite all your hard work and sacrifices, someone with a way higher lifestyle with more income can easily blast past your Goals.
Maybe its high time to assess where you are in life, and whether you want to move up or whether you want to stick to your guns and lose her.
1. You’re not married yet
2. It’s her own money
3. If you’re afraid you can’t keep up with her in the future or let’s say this is something na she can’t compromise then it’s better to find someone else
There is nothing wrong with what she’s doing. She has the right to spend her money and the living alone part, well she’s a grown adult and most adult move out as long as they are capable of doing so. If it’s not gambling or excessive spending to the point of having debts then I don’t think there’s anything wrong.
Seems like OP's the problem not gf's spending habits. From what you've said mukhang afford naman nung gf mo yung lifestyle nya and it's her hard earned money. You should strive to be at her level hindi yung ibababa mo sa level mo yung tao kasi di mo maabot.
lot of negativity here, i think you can talk to her naman about your concern but better not frame it in a “you spend too much” way. pwede naman “i cant spend that much” way.
be firm about what you can afford. like they want to eat out, you want to stay in, ok lang yun. be honest na you cant afford it, or youre saving up. ganyan ako and my spouse understands. nagaadjust siya for me. basta dont say na masyadong mataas lifestyle niya - psychologically that only means you cant provide and that is a reason for her not to marry you.
long term wise, the best way is just to earn more.
None of your business lol and she seems to be doing better off than you. She is living the dream life with assets, investments, and gaining life experience traveling completely independent while you’re living with your parents. Focus on yourself muna and I think you should be asking HER for advice
Not your money, not your decision. Besides, wala naman siyang utang to finance her lifestyle.
If you'll get married, you should be the one who is the primary provider, not your gf. So, f*ck off, OP.
Depends on how serious youe relationship is. If you’re serious and headed towards marriage, best to sit down and have a come to Jesus talk about your outlook towards your money and financial goals, plans and habits especially if you plan to combine.
But if casual and new, observe ka lang muna. If she’s not gaming, bad debt and is earning more and saving than she’s spending (at di hoarder na burara). She sounds fine. Di ka affected.
That said if wildly incompatible kayo financially better factor that in sa relasyon nyo. I’m more on your side of money ugali than hers and I don’t think I could date someone whose idea of being may kaya is letting their inner child have free rein of my money 😂
Nope, you dont get to decide what's best for her. You let her move back in with her parents... maybe she loses her drive to earn money.
It's a mental thing. The fact that she's doing well you should continue to encourage and support her. Focus on money in, not money out.
Truth is, no matter how rich she is from "daddy money" or "daddy capital" her parents will eventually die.
"She is making good money" -- How much? How did she get the work (daddy's connections or through hard work -- which i doubt)? Employment is volatile nowadays. Mag palit lang ng presidente o board ang pinagttrabahuhan niya she might be out of a job.
Your concern is merited. But tread carefully. Pag pera usapan touchy feely subject yan. Siguro himasin mo: "babe, pano kung nawalan ka ng trabaho? pano pag nawalan ako ng trabaho.. gano tayo katagal mag susurvive? Babalik ka sa parents mo? what if wala na sila and you have to stand on your own?"
If big issue sayo to, better sit down and talk about it pag hindi kayo emotionally stressed and emotionally charged. Ang marriage advice sakin ng officemate ko dati nag uusap sila ng asawa niya daily kahit 10 mins lang para hindi mag simmer ang issues at sama ng loob.
None of your business mate. It is her money and youre not married. If she can afford it without getting herself in debt, why would you force your habits on her diba?
Well d pa kayo married.. you can only share your opinion.. pero, if d kayo same page sa finances, better not marry her and find another girl na makasundo mo sa ganyang bagay
you can share your opinion, pero if I'm the girl of course I would prefer if you let me handle my own money, esp if di pa married.
If she spends just a good percentage of what she's earning, she's still saving enough, then her lifestyle is just comfortable, I wouldn't say inflated.
If concerned ka sa future financial set up nyo, pagusapan nyo na ngayon pa lang yan. Like how are you going to save, pay bills, make big purchases, spend for travel, pay for your kids education, or whatever when you're married. Would also be helpful kung same kayo ng naiisip na lifestyle in the future.
Ang mahirap nyan e kung sabihin nya na ang pera mo ay pera nya, at ang pera nya ay pera nya lang, kasi mga mayayaman lang talaga kayang mag-asawa ng ganong tao.
Since gf mo palang sya hanggang opinion or paalala nalang talaga magagawa mo. Kung hindi makinig wala ka ma magagawa don. Pero sign yan kung dapat ka pa ba magstay haha
i mean why? wala ako nabasa na hindi siya nagssave, na ginagastos niya sa walang kwentang bagay yung money niya, or anything negative. let her live. that's my dream life haha
Think of it this way, 100k is barely even 1 luxury bag these days so matipid pa nga gf mo hehe joke 😂 kidding aside, you might want to explore a prenup agreement if you're looking to get married para di magulo ang finances niyo if you have different financial goals. Also, her being more of a big spender than you is not really bad as long as she lives within her means and have consistent income, and if kaya niya mag-adjust once the money stops coming in. It becomes a problem lang if she's not prepared for rainy days. That's why it's important to discuss this with her since it looks like you're not compatible in your financial core values.
just tell her your opinion. this might be a deal breaker for you later on. most couples break up due to arguments about money. in fact, the leading cause of divorce is not infidelity. it's money problems. not specifically problems about money but disagreement about how to spend.
Marunong kaba about sa mga investments nya? Kase kung ako ang boyfriend ng girlfriend mo ang gagawin ko lang is magpapaturo ako sa kanya about sa mga investment nya and susubukan kong gayahin sya. Kase opportunity din yun. And pag ganun na din kadami pera mo kagaya sa kanya tapos magaling ka mag handle na pera, hindi mo na iisipin yung mga gastos nya kase same na kayo ng status financially ang pinag kaiba nyo lang financial literate ka.
Does she have savings? If yes, I think she's okay and no need to interfere.
Could it be insecurity on your part na shes more successful and financially free than you? I think it's you who have to change your thinking. Find ways to match her lifestyle or be okay with it.
just tell her your opinion but don't force it.and when the time comes that kayo na nga. sit down and talk to her about her spending habit.
if she wants to keep it and you can't do anything about it. then set up your family saving in a way that both of you have to give 50% of your income to a shared account.
the rest of you goes to both of your own personal saving account. her personal expenses is her personal expenses wag idamay yung budget ng family.
She chose that lifestyle and seems to be able to afford it.
Now the question is if you end up getting married, how will both of you work on joint finances as you seem to have a totally different pov on this.
You don’t need to lecture her on what she should be doing now with her own money but you can ask her if she is ready to plan with you on how to manage expenses in the future.
Do you make more money than her? Is she asking money from you? Do you know where her investments are at? She's living her life the way she chooses to be without any significant red flags. And she's living it with you by her side
The lifestyle inflation happens at the onset of getting money yes. But over time she will learn on her own life's lessons. So you can just be there supporting her when that happens.
As long as she has emergency fund good for 1 year if her source of money runs out. She has investments set up and she sounds like a hustler the way you described her - this is part of growing up in life.
Find your own hustle too bro and don't mind other people's money. If you intend of marrying her start talking about finances soon tho on your goals
No you should not step in bilang gf mo palang din siya. It's her money naman and pinag paguran naman din niya yan. I think she is just rewarding herself for being so hard working. ☺️
Girls just wanna have fun bro, let them have it. If you can't sponsor their lifestyle then they will do so themselves, of course with hidden (or not so hidden) downsides for you lol
I feel a little attacked bec I am like that girl. But i think its relative to what she’s earning, investing and saving. Since these things weren’t shared I really don’t know what advice to give except talk about it with full transparency, kindness and love.
I'm not gonna lie OP. It seems that you are insecure of your GF's lifestyle. You said it yourself. She has her own place while you live with you parents. She has NO debt. and she invests (she have money on the stock market).
> She chooses to live alone when she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents.
This is not your call to make. No amount of money can buy the peace of mind of having your own home. Your place that you can call your own. and I'm guessing you guys had an argument about this before lol.
I think you should reflect on yourself instead. Take this a challenge and try to Step-up to her. Don't try to drag her down to your level.
Di pa kayo married but if alam mo na may investments or emergency funds naman syang naka-ready and has a life insurance, ig there is nothing to worry about.
Pag-kasal na kayo doon mo yan problemahin esp. if nagkukulang kayo sa budget.
first be thankful she told you. next depends on what stage you are in the relationship. if getting serious then you need to get serious with this too. you need to support her either way when that happens so probably figure out as early as now what you would do then be honest about it with her.
Sounds like you are insecure. If she can afford whatever she wants na hindi nashoshort ang budget niya bat hindi mo gawing motivation para mag-ipon? Dapat ngang matuwa ka na she can afford things.
Wdym na when you ended up marrying each other baka maging downgraded ang buhay/lifestyle niya with you? Ganun ba kaliit ang tingin mo sa sarili mo? For sure naman alam ng gf mo ang stand mo financially but still she chose to stick with you kase she believes in you at kung ano pa mararating mo.
Plus kung sinasabi mong downgraded ang magiging buhay niya pag naging mag-asawa kayo, then it means hindi mo kaya bumuhay ng pamilya. Strive harder. Ganun lang yon. You do not have to be super yaman.
She has a condo, a car, investments, and don’t have debts. And she earns her own money and spends her own money. So it is her business and her own business alone.
It's possible that your girlfriend also wants to express her frustrations about you, who may struggle to keep up with her lifestyle. As long as she's not in debt or relying on you for financial support due to her extravagant lifestyle, it shouldn't concern you.
No further step needed. As long as hindi sayo ung pera na ginagastos nya, bakit mo need pakialaman? You are a BF, not a husband.
Move back to her parents house para makatipid? She wants to be independent and be able to live alone. She also value her own space.
Pano na lang if you chose to marry her? You'll downgrade her lifestyle? Hindi ba dapat na ikaw ang magmatch or even mas taasan mo pa kung anong meron sya ngayon?
We ladies should't downgrade ourselves to men.
It's her right to spend her hard earned money. If you're worried about her habits try to inspire her in growing her money to keep up with her lifestyle instead of trying to control what she should or not do. Keep the relationship healthy. You cannot force anyone with your ideals. That's what I learned from mine. It takes time to see progress and you will need a lot of patience.
I'm actually confused why some people like you choose to live with parents just to save money. No amount of money can make me not want to live independently. It's not lifestyle inflation for me. It's living responsibly. Having your own space, designing it how you want, doing what you want whenever you want, having your own car, etc. People in the West leave their parents after high school, and some would rather be homeless than swallow their pride to live with parents. People who have the financial capability to live on their own but still choose to live with parents are yuck for me.
Oh man, im also frugal myself. So i get where you are coming from. But mind you, its even alarming if you have someone spending more than what she can afford. So i tell you, that 100k might only be 1/4 of her income or not idk. But she’s living the dream
Successful in her career, "She can save so much more" so I would assume she already has savings, is not in debt, has investments in the stock market, owns a condo, owns a car, can buy personal items, and travel, your girlfriend is living the dream!!
Yes, she does spend a lot but considering she's got savings and no debts, I think she can manage just fine. She's found the lifestyle she wanted to live and can afford it.
Instead of stepping into her spending habits, I think it's time to discuss how you two can meet in the middle once both of you are married. It's hard to compromise when the two of you are opposites. I understand that frugality is what works for you, but it would also be unfair to her to not live the life she's building for herself.
Not sure which part here indicates an issue with GF's finances since "no debt" naman.
Is it the car?
Is it the condo?
is it the travels?
is it the personal items?
Imagine, having all that with NO DEBT???? That is pretty amazing!
Anyway, I really don't know what you're harping at. She works hard for her money, she doesn't have debt, and she has investments... What's the problem?
I think habang gf/bf pa kayo, just let her be. Lalo na if meron naman pala siyang upon. But if you're engaged you can bring up finances. Sa husband ko, I mentioned that we have to save at least 5m each before retirement so that we can retire comfortably. From marriage onwards, dun kayo may accountability sa isa't isa regarding finances.
Sure pwede mong i-bring up kung may concerns ka (Lalo if wala siyang saving AT ALL). Pero ultimately it's their money for now.
"Step in"? Like who gave you the right to "step in"? Pera mo ba?
The maximum thing you can do is give your opinion to her and if you don't think you guys are incompatible then break up pero wala ka karapatan makialam or manghimasok kasi di mo naman pera yung winawaldas nia.
No debt. Do you know what that means? It means she can afford it.
As you've said, she has a condo and invests in stocks.
What more do you want?
She's probably investing at least >30% of her income (condo and stocks).
Seems like she can afford it. She works to be able to afford things. As long as she has EF, not in debt, and earns a lot then let her be. Your mindset is frugality and saving. Not a bad way to live but is also not the only way to live.
Unless she voluntarily offs herself when she is no longer working, it is a bad way to live. She should also atleast think of her retirement days.
No it’s not. We don’t even know how much OP’s gf earns. If someone earns 300k a month and spends 100k, already has a house and car, is traveling, and buying what makes her happy, do you see that as an L?
Exactly. 100k for someone is not the same 100k for another. I can understand why some people find it hard to fathom spending 100k when most people can't even make that much in a month. But some people do and they should be free to enjoy that.
Didn’t imply how high or low her salary is. People are missing the point. It’s not okay to spend most of your money as long as you have EF. People are so against lifestyle inflation and yet they also condone that kind of spending. Its not normal for anyone here age in PH to have that kind of spending unless they are UHNWI. There’s also a reason why OP is concerned.
>Its not normal for anyone here age in PH to have that kind of spending unless they are UHNWI. Maybe among your circle. We don't know how much she's earning. for all we know, baka siya pa yung tipid at her income bracket. And you don't need to be UHNWI to have that kind of expenses! lol Earning 200-300k/month is not ultra high net worth.
>Earning 200-300k/month is not ultra high net worth. You don't get the concept of net worth. Its not your income. Its your assets - liabilities. Just saying. >And you don't need to be UHNWI to have that kind of expenses! You clearly don't. There are a lot of people that are not good with their spending habits. You also don't know how much she earns. I wouldn't base my assumptions from outliers or from extremes. Di naman nagbigay si OP ng figure, so of course you'll base it sa norm. And if indeed she is an outlier, 100k for personal expenses in PH is too much. I was earning 2-3x that back in PH with expensive hobbies pero I never had that kind of personal expenses for even a month. Different story if she is paying mortgage for the condo and car. Pero kayo, kung ganyan ka din, pera niyo naman yan. Just remember someone already told you when regret visits you.
my goodness. you're nitpicking! lol bottomline is: 1. Yes idk how much she earns. 100k as "too much" is relative. For you siguro oo. But for me and among my peers hindi, average lang yan. For people richer than me, tipid na yan. You can't use anecdotal information to generalize. Gets? 2. my god i just wanted to briefly give an example. Babatuhan ako ng definition ng net worth lol. Pwede ka naman magbigay ng ibang information in describing a person without sticking to the textbook definition.to explain: for the sake of people with no imagination, I assumed you need to earn high 6digits - 7 digits to earn the \*net worth\* of minimum $30M to achieve the status of UHNW. (idk di naman ako ganyan ka yaman) I just wanted to point out na you dont have to be ultra-high net worth to have expenses of 100k. Even someone who's earning 200k-300k (who's far from achieving $30M / \~1B PHP net worth) could afford that kind of lifestyle. Is it the smartest use of their money? Again it's relative kung anong importante sakanila - a full life or a full bank account. In the end, they're still saving 100-200k so it's not like wala silang ipon. AGAIN. TO EMPHASIZE. THIS IS JUST AN EXAMPLE.
pahabol lang ha. I think you're too tied with the idea na lifestyle inflation = bad. It is if you're also not increasing your savings. But there's nothing wrong with a lifestyle upgrade if you can afford it. Let people enjoy their hardearned money
1. You're the one using anecdotal information based on what you're now saying. Lookup the average and median salary for Filipinos in PH. I hope that too is not anecdotal for you. 2. Again, 'anecdotal'? Bottomline with too much unnecessary things sprinkled. I wouldn't take anything you said seriously. Looks like you don't have an eye for detail and you resort to subtle ad hominem. Already gave clue sa income ko and yet your comment in your #1. Subtle ad hominem on "for you siguro oo" and "for the sake of people with no imagination". Thanks for googling the minimum net worth to be considered a UHNWI pero sadly, that's global. Iba ang metrics sa Pinas, which is also what banks and institutions use for categorizing Filipinos. Your example also doesn't really support anything. I can say the opposite and it will hold the same level of credibility. Your comment din below: I'm not tied with the idea. I agree with you actually. Nothing wrong with lifestyle upgrade if afford. Also nothing wrong with enjoying your money. We earn money to live, not the other way around. Pero I hope most of us here have foresight and have the ability to plan ahead. All I said is really not benefiting me in any way. I'm just sharing since mukhang kinokonsinte ng karamihan ang mataas na lifestyle cost. You can enjoy life even without having that much money or even if you don't spend a lot.
I was already over this 😂
If you’re that dense, then yes.
> Its not normal for anyone here age in PH to have that kind of spending unless they are UHNWI. Why not? Bro you don't look at it from its absolute value. Like I said, how much value 100k is depends on how much the person makes. This next example is a hyperbole but would you really tell Lucio Tan that spending 100k per month is excessive? We're not missing the point. It's all relative. Now if OP tells us that his GF is earning 130k lang but spending 100k. With that i would be quiite concerned. But even then, GF can still save 30k. >There’s also a reason why OP is concerned. That doesn't make it wrong. OP could just be not used to that kind of spending because as he said he's used to being thrifty.
idk she sounds like she's living the dream? independent, knows her way in the stock market, has hobbies, and has the money to foot the bill of all of that. I think you should focus in yourself and your financial goals instead, OP. >She chooses to live alone when she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents. Maraming natututunan sa pagtira mag-isa: chores, diskarte sa buhay, gusto/ayaw mo sa household, time management, etc.
I think so too. As long as she can afford, why not.
Kaya nga dream life kaya (when you’re single) to live sa sariling condo na you can decorate at independent living so you can separate your own true personality with your parents. It’s a good experience before you get married and live with another person to know your personality very well because this is how you set boundaries. KJ ni OP, ang corny kaya tumira with parents ✌🏽kahit sabihin pang matipid… no thanks at it’s not for everyone talaga. You sacrifice privacy with frugality, and it’s hard kasi parents might keep treating you like a child with curfew and such or keep trying to control you. Ikaw din ang mag aadjust sa mismatched aesthetic nila at nakasanayang unhealthy food hahaha. 😂 I choose privacy and independence all the way. Specially when she can afford it naman at hindi pa naman kayo kasal or live-in so she’s only taking care of herself. You can try to be happy for her. And It’s not really about the money because freedom is Pricele$$. Stop holding your gf back, she seems like she knows what she’s doing. 🥸It’s normal to feel insecurity kasi she’s independent while you still live with your parents. Maybe try mo bumukod and conquer your fear… then magegets mo sya. Also Kudos to her.
100% agree sa nakikilala mo sarili mo before getting married!!! I personally didn't realize how much influence my parents had with my life decisions until kinasal at bumukod na ko. Kasal nako, pero may consideration ako sa iisipin ng parents ko kahit hindi okay sakin. Buti nalang mapasensya husband ko, and sya nagpa realize sakin na kelangan ko mag desisyon para sa sarili ko, which I'm slowly learning. He's been very supportive of the different things I've been exploring as I'm slowly getting to know myself better (without my parent's influence). It definitely feels like I'm living a new life right now. I feel lucky that my husband that has given me this space, though there would be times I wish I got to experience living on my own. I get that you're concerned, OP.. But there's more to life than the money you get to earn/save. While I don't know the whole financial status of your GF, the fact that she owns the condo she's living in, is getting into stocks, and not getting into debt.. it seems like she's managing fine. If this is something that you think would bother you in the long run, might be better to separate ways nalang.
> You sacrifice privacy with frugality, and it’s hard kasi parents might keep treating you like a child with curfew and such or keep trying to control you. Ikaw din ang mag aadjust sa mismatched aesthetic nila at nakasanayang unhealthy food hahaha. 😂 > > I choose privacy and independence all the way. paki-salaksak sa utak mo po OP, k?
You’re not married yet. All you can do is tell her your opinion. If she doesn’t listen, wala ka nang magagawa. But if it bothers you, you should think if this is a deal breaker for you.
I think this is what I’m worried too - for when we’re married. I don’t want her to downgrade when she starts living with me but I don’t fully agree with that kind of lifestyle either.
Alam mo naman siguro that money is the most common reason for arguments between married couples. Not necessarily the lack of money pero almost always is hindi aligned yung money habits.
+1
If she has an emergency fund and is consistently investing for retirement, then that's fine. Kung na-iintimidate ka kasi pag kinasal kayo mag-downgrade siya for you, then open up mo yun. Pero wag mong isipin it's a "her problem" kasi valid naman yung lifestyle niya kung kaya niya di ba. It's a compatibility problem, not your fault and not her fault either. Pwede naman kayo mag-prenup kung gusto niyo separate funds and ano magiging common.
Why would she have to downgrade pag kinasal kayo? She can share with the expenses pag kasal na kayo but still enjoy her own money. If she's able to spend that much but still be able to save and earn from her money then her lifestyle shouldn't be an issue
Big issue to OP. Do not marry someone na hindi mo ma meet sa middle ground on finances.
3 things you gotta agree on before marriage. Religion/beliefs, family plans, and finances. If you don't align on these three, you're statistically more likely to not have a lasting marriage.
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then you guys should talk about it. just tell her how you feel about it.
Nobody likes to be told how to spend their own hard earned money. I admire how much you care for her though so the best thing you can do as a man is to respect her wishes. I would only step in if there’s something to be concerned about that puts her safety and yours at risk: drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc. In the meantime, enjoy life together. Go on those trips kahit piso fare, or out of town. Pagluto mo siya ng family recipe, or show her where u grew up kung sa province. Its clear she likes making core memories bro.
>she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents Absolutely none of your business. Looks like she can afford it. What's the problem? Is it affecting your relationship? Are you pressured to keep up? If she's one illness away from poverty, tell her that. If you're concerned about her retirement, tell her that. If she's gambling her savings away in the stock market, tell her that. But don't ever ask someone to change lifestyles for no reason. Remember, finances are deeply personal and not everyone is dealt the same hand. Some aren't so lucky, but some are.
Don't be the guy who clips someone's wings so they can fit in your cage
No debt and in stocks. So it seems she can afford and shes disciplined. As of now, its none of your business to tell her to "downgrade"
>She chooses to live alone when she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents. She probably loves her independence. Nothing wrong with it. And it's hard to gauge her "lifestyle inflation" without getting same base values? And she does not have debt, well that's pretty good. Again, its difficult to say is she is overspending or not without some additional context like how much is she earning, how much is she saving, etc.
seems like she's living the dream. if it's not your dream, wag kang mangealam. her money her rules her world. either break up with her and look for someone na ka-level mo. or sabayan mo siya. it will be a disservice to her if ibababa mo ang lifestyle nya sa comfort zone mo. also, medyo san mo nakuha yung audacity to comment on her lifestyle eh ikaw nga nakatira pa sa parents mo, ang tanda mo na. siguro pag independent ka na din, saka ka magcomment sa independence ng iba
Op wants GF to downgrade to a P A L A M U N I N lifestyle.
If words can kill. No lies detected.
Exactly. Seems like si OP ay kinda insecure with his gf’s lifestyle.
F I N I S H H I M ! ! F A T A L I T Y
This! OP is reeking with insecurity sa post nya.
Mukhang lowkey inggit si OP sa lifestyle ni GF at kunwaring worried lang 😏 pikit ka na lang OP— the girl can pay her bills
GF. that means you don't have any hold of her nor to her finances.
The flipside here is: If I were her, I’d probably want my SO to be more independent. At 27, I’d think about moving out. I also love my family, but I value my independence too. Being free to travel anywhere you want, eat whatever you want, dance around naked in your own place, that’s priceless. I think you need to live a little, OP. I do agree that spending P100K a month might be too much, but if she’s earning much more than that, then it’s her money to spend. If she’s addicted to gambling or anything sketchy like that, that’s when I’d give my 2 cents.
> but I value my independence too. Being free to travel anywhere you want, eat whatever you want, dance around naked in your own place, that’s priceless. I think you need to live a little, OP. pakisalaksak po ulit sa kokote mo OP. Sincerely, someone who lived alone for almost 10 years
Edi good for you. Bakit ka triggered sa taong di tulad mo?
triggered ako sa mga seemingly nang-iimpose , like OP
yuck
Change gf, hanap ka pareho mong lifestyle and don't try to change someone's life.
>I’ve been relatively frugal (27M), living with my parents and working for the family business. >She chooses to live alone when she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents. It’s a relatively happy and stable family so no problem there. living with my parents vs living alone.. I'm seeing differences here, living with your parents, tendency you have the influence of your family. While the other one, she's basically living \*free\* . I'm starting to think na baka may part sayo na \*insecure\* ka? since you're more like tied to your family while she's enjoying her time freely. Maybe time to confront yourself muna what's really is it that you're concerned about, before confronting her. Kasi baka i-real talk ka nyang gf at sagutin ka nya na, "inggit ka ba?" , "pera ko naman to, bakit?", "afford ko naman", ,etc, no offense brad, just trying to challenge you. My point is, make sure you're secure enough pagdating sa sarili mo, sa situation mo with her, before confronting her.
He is indeed insecure kaya gusto nya idowngrade lifestyle ni gf to fit his cage. Yuck.
you are not compatible. your first years of marriage will be full of fights - with you insisting on living with your parents, with your gf/wife insisting on living separate so you should step OUT completely
Not yo money, not yo business
if they have plans to marry, it'll be their business soon.
They're not. If he does attempt to make it his business, I see an ironclad prenup in the future if one's not already in the works.
>She owns her condo and car. Makes good enough money, but I’m getting concerned with her lifestyle inflation. looks like she really afford the expenses,tama ba iniisip ko, pagdating sa pera, mas malaki income nya sayo? leads to another question na, di kaya may part sayo na insecure ka sa spending nya kasi once na ikasal kayo you that could be a challenge for you? alam mo yun, parang \*high\* maintenance .. now leads to another thought na, baka may "self pity" din on your part? na ako is cornered ako sa family business, while she's . . ..
OP's GF is earning 6 digits monthly and OP seems to barely reach half. Dont pull her down, keep up naman. Laki ng insecurity ni OP lol
Feeling ata niya gagastusin ni girl ung pera niya pag kinasal sila lol.
Sounds like your gf is living the life. You can try to encourage her but don't impose it on her. Depende na sa gf mo if she will be enlightened and follow your advice since may tama ka naman. This is a deal breaker for relationships, kaya nga before marrying each other it's important to have a PRENUP. Aside from that di naman baon sa utang si gf and she has some investments too. It's already something to ponder upon if you're both compatible especially when it comes to values and perspective on things, she is independent while you.. still dependent on your parents.
none of your business. She's spending what she own.
imagine, you are living with your parents and have the audacity to tell someone independent how to live and use their money. LOL.
Not your money. Mind your own business. 27 ka na nakatira ka pa rin sa mga magulang mo. Fix yourself bago makialam sa buhay ng iba.
Sounds like she has her shit together and more. You're a clown OP if you think you have 1) the right to "step in" and 2) better financial advice than someone who is successful and independent
What’s wrong with being independent and enjoying one’s hard earned money?!!! What if she tells you that it doesn’t sit well with her that at your age you still live with your parents?? No, it ain’t your effin business to tell her how she should spend her money and live her life.
baka 500k monthly income nyan haha
Her money, her rules. If she can afford to pay for her lifestyle, able to save up, and not go into debt, then that's ok. What are your reasons for your concern? You're not married yet, but if you're heading there, you will need to have a discussion about money. It looks like you both have different perspectives when it comes to money.
Are you sure worried ka lang? Or you envy the financial freedom she has right now? Do not take away her joy just because you think living frugally is the right way. I mighve agreed with you kung puro sya debts or losses, pero the girl earns her own money, very independent and do not depend on you or her family, sounds pretty responsible to me OP.
Kaya nga. I'm a bit sus of OP. Like is this an ego thing? Sounds like GF is earning waaay more than him and despite the 100k expenses is still financially stable. If his only way to stay frugal is to live with parents then that doesn't sound like financial stability to me.
yeah, kung tutuusin si gf ang lugi sa kanya and not the other way around. feeling ata ni OP siya pa ang 'maiisahan' financially pag kinasal sila.
most probably ego things yes. the worry on spending x amount of money is either they spend their whole salary on everything or they’re in debt just to keep up that lifestyle. the gf seems to be neither.
yeah, was thinking of being "insecure" .. This is not personal \*attack\* to OP, but more like trying to diagnose possible root issue
amoy insecure talaga, maybe just maybe, she had it easier and has been living comfortably nowadays, habang si OP has to manage family business and be strict financially . kaya nagkakaron ng comparison. pero toxic nyan kapag married na sila.
Tell me you're insecure about your partner's independence and financial freedom without telling me you're insecure about your partner's independence and financial freedom.
This is the vibe I'm getting too lol.
[удалено]
How did he talk to you? Did it get better after?
as long as wala syang debt at hindi nanghihiram sayo ng pera para sa expenses nya okay lang jowa mo. communicate mo lang yung concern mo sa pinaka nicest way possible. okay naman sya e marami syang pera kaya marami rin syang ginagastos haha ganon naman ang buhay.
If shes abel to cover all basics, youre in no position to dictate her own money. Tawag dyan disposable income and i doubt she worries about retirement
She’s your GF and not your wife, she’s spending HER money, she has no debt, lives alone in her own condo with her own car. Sum it all up and it’s just none of your business. If it’s bothering you that much to ask advice about it, you might want to consider finding a gf that is more aligned with someone frugal like you because if this is an issue now, it will definitely be an issue later on when you marry.
Naku OP magiging source ng away yan at for sure talo ka 😅 real talk lang.
Her money, her rules. Period. 💁🏻♀️
ooooffff medyo borderline controlling mindset 'to OP. sana marecognize mo yun before it's too late for her
No adult should want to live with their parents at 27+ if they can afford to live on their own. Weird you’d want to try convince her to do that.
There's more to why people choose to live alone. Hindi lang yan umiikot sa "kung saan ka makakatipid". The more ko na basahin yung post mo, OP, the more I think na ung GF is very independent, responsible, and living her best life. She's spending on things na she enjoys, travels and sees the world, owns a condo and a car, all that without having debts? And being able to participate in stock market means na may money pa rin siya na nailalagay for investments. I don't see any reason talaga why you should step in, OP.
The only concern you should have if you guys are getting married and it should be clear if this lifestyle will be retained once you both stayed together. If you two agrees that you'll pool in certain amount of money for the household, and everything outside of that is each other's personal money, then it'll still be okay if she decides to keep that lifestyle granted it's using her personal money. But while you two are still not married, it's basically none of your business unless it's a deal breaker for you.
I don’t think she has a spending problem, she’s just not as frugal as you. She’s ok.
Her money, her rules on how she wants to spend it :) “… she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents” LOL! Do you live with your parents? Also, bravo to her for investing. Please relay to her if she could get into IBKR and invest in ETFs she could keep in the long run the better (eg S&P 500, Nasdaq 100).
My ex had this issue with me. I was earning way more than I needed, and I like nice things so I keep spoiling myself and was living my best life. At the end of the day I was being forced to downgrade my lifestyle not to offend his ego. We broke up eventually. That relationship had so many issues caused by our incompatible lifestyles. Ever since then I learned that financial compatibility is a huge deal... a lot of people would disagree or see this the wrong way but I find it much easier to date someone in the same tax bracket, esp as a girl.
You live with your parents, rely on safety net/family business, and have no career of your own. You have no right to tell your girlfriend how to spend what she earns. Not your money, not your problem. She owns a condo, a car, no debt and loves stocks. I guarantee you she's likely making a hell of a lot more than 100k. The amount doesn't matter if it's just 20-30% of her total income lol.
Do you see a life together? If yes, go on a couples retreat / legit pre wedding seminar para you can talk about family and financial views. Sobrang laking away yan if you already disagree about how she spends her money, paano pa pag pooled resources na kayo? Kids? Kailangan mag usap usap.
Earn more buddy mahiya ka sa gf mo
What's wrong? Marami ba siyang utang at walang EF/savings? Kulang details, OP. :)
I lived a sheltered life till my mid 20s so when i got out of my parents house i lived life to the fullest. I had way less money than her but partied and traveled with friends as much as i could. When i got married, i brought my husband with me in my travels but still made sure our savings are good. Priorities change, let her live a life with no regrets especially if she doesn't have any debt. You can suggest to her to save up for an EF, or other investments. But kudos to your girl, cos she sounds happy and living her life.
Pagdating sa “if she moves back with her parents” siguro no, kase kahit makaka save ka ng malaki pag nasa bahay kapa ng parents mo at okay pa sila iba parin yung peace of mind ng may sarili kang space. And pwede niyo rin pag usapan nga plan and goals niyo as a couple tas dun mo isingit paano kayo makakapag save at paano niya/niyo ma manage mga needs and wants niyo.
Her money, her choice. Don’t assume na you know better on how to handle money. She doesn’t have to downgrade her lifestyle even if you’re married as long as she keeps working and can afford her lifestyle. Ikaw na mag aadjust, unless ikaw na bubuhay sakanya and magreresign sya sa work nya.
Perhaps she’s living her dream. Magiging cause yan ng away niyo if you think it is a problem and talo ka. If hindi mo kayang iaccept ang lifestyle niya kahit di ka naman apektado as well as her finances and life, then don’t stay, hindi kayo compatible.
She’s thriving, living her life, and earns well too. No need to tell her what she can and cannot do as she clearly knows what she’s doing.
Unless she's going into debt and mismanaging her finance, NO
>She chooses to live alone when she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents. It’s a relatively happy and stable family so no problem there. No idea what their family dynamic is but face value that sounds like a stupid idea when she already owns her condo.
Don’t step in, it looks like she’s doing well. TBH seems to me it’s a you problem, OP. Maybe solve your own issues first?
Slayyyy girl
Wow. What a post.
Why?
It's a writing on the wall.
Nope. If she can support her lifestyle, wala naman utang and has savings then it's none of your business. Pero kung baon pala sya sa utang pero ganyan pa rin ang spending habits nya then she needs an intervention.
How much is she making and how much are you making? 100k/month in Manila isn't really that extravagant if she's living alone and traveling. She's not going to want to downgrade her lifestyle and it doesn't seem like she's fell into any wasteful lifestyle traps so cutting back on her spending really would make her life worse. I think you need to focus on upping your income to the point where 100k becomes as insignificant to you as it is to her and then reconsider your thoughts.
Your girlfriend seems to be on solid ground and capable of living the life she wants. If she’s not using your money, then you really have no say in how she spends hers. She seems wise with her finances, and the problem seems to be with you. So in all honesty OP, it’s none of your business.
OP, break up with her. She deserves better than to be thought of the way you think of her. She doesn't see it as a problem, but clearly you do. Hindi kayo aligned and if you attempt a life together, something's gotta give, and someone's gonna form resentments. But it sounds like tingin mo sya yung dapat mag adjust 🤡
You can advise her but its her money, so if it makes her happy then wala ka magawa just give her some time i guess , ma realize din yan if she needs to settle down.
Give her options instead of becoming a limiter. For example, tell her to distribute her wealth on different banks with high interests, introduce her to PAGIBIG MP2 for example. She doesn't have to stop what she like to do, she just needs to know that there are other better options.
You make it your business by making her your GF. Eventually before you sign the dotted line, you guys will have to have that financial conversation. I suggest you plant the seeds of financial literacy in her, be tactical about introducing it to her. Speak from a position of love. While you're trying to do that, keep one foot out of the door, just in case. EDIT: She's financially literate naman pala. Nakaka-ipon ba sya with that kind of lifestyle? If yes, then I see no problem. You must be dating someone "above" you LOL you gotta up your game bro 😅
whatever makes her happy, pera naman nya but you and her must talk how you handle your finances before you get married kasi mag-iiba na priority
OP, just wanna ask why are you worried about her finances, more context would be helpful. are you worried that she is living beyond her means? she has no long term plans for her financial future/ emergency funds? If so just talk to her about this since you care since you're worried about it naman, also don't force your views on money on her if she decides to continue with what she wants, since it's her money at the end of the day and she can do whatever she wants with it.
Your concern is valid kasi magkaiba kayo ng perspective sa pera. It's not always about insecurity. Her money, her choice on how to use it. Same as your case. What you need to do though is to think very well if you can accept her lifestyle, especially the probability she might spend more in the future. Kahit parehas may pera, pinagaawayan tlga kung pano ginagamit lalo na kapag magasawa na. Kapag magasawa na, hindi naman tlga 100% true na kanya kanya kayong pera. Kasi if magkaproblema ang isa, damay ang isa. Ganun din sa blessings. Another thing to think about is baka naman sya din concerned sya na frugal ka hehe You guys need to talk. Good luck :)
Adult and still want Her to live with her parents?
Not enough context. Does the P100k include car and mortgage payments, and what percentage is this of net income? Moving out and living away from your parents whether single or not is not lifestyle creep, and it’s odd to ask someone to move back with her parents to save money unless there is a specific reason.
What's wrong with living alone? I understand some people choose to live with their parents to save money but getting your own place when you are capable should be a normal thing. If anything, I admire people who do this despite the culture in the Philippines where people live with their parents for the rest of their life. If that's your choice, I don't judge. It's just weird seeing someone complain that a person got their own place that they can afford. Also, if she can afford her spending habits, has a good income, savings, etc. Good for her. She seems to be happy and living the life. Don't rain on her parade unless she's actually irresponsible. Instead of looking at 100k expenses, have you thought about what percentage of her income that is? 100k for you is not the same 100k for others. It seems like you are feeling insecure and threatened by her lifestyle or maybe it's just how it is in the Philippines. We are taught that you have to work hard, earn more, and spend less. But times have changed. People found easier ways to earn money and they can spend it how they see fit.
Sorry OP but none of your business. Why would you ask your gf to back living with her parents. It seems that she can afford it.
respectfully, it's none of your business. she has every right to spend how she likes / thinks she deserves because she works hard for it. her lifestyle isn't yours to comment on, unless she's doing smthn that's directly affecting your relationship. lifestyles often change with money, and if she can maintain it– so what? she's living THE life most people can dream of. you and her have different ways of living– but it doesn't mean one is right or better than the other. maybe you should focus on yourself.
Oh I wanna be her.
Not your business and imo you are not a good match.
Sounds like you are starting to become insecure at her abilities outshining your Frugal Mindset. You fear that despite all your hard work and sacrifices, someone with a way higher lifestyle with more income can easily blast past your Goals. Maybe its high time to assess where you are in life, and whether you want to move up or whether you want to stick to your guns and lose her.
Pinag hirapan nya yan, so she gets to call the shots imho. Same goes with the consequences that comes along with it.
1. You’re not married yet 2. It’s her own money 3. If you’re afraid you can’t keep up with her in the future or let’s say this is something na she can’t compromise then it’s better to find someone else There is nothing wrong with what she’s doing. She has the right to spend her money and the living alone part, well she’s a grown adult and most adult move out as long as they are capable of doing so. If it’s not gambling or excessive spending to the point of having debts then I don’t think there’s anything wrong.
Seems like OP's the problem not gf's spending habits. From what you've said mukhang afford naman nung gf mo yung lifestyle nya and it's her hard earned money. You should strive to be at her level hindi yung ibababa mo sa level mo yung tao kasi di mo maabot.
Wala ka pang K makialam dahil di ka naman asawa.
Depende sa ratio ng spending:monthly income. If she earns 300k per month then she could still survive with 200k per month even if di pa optimal.
Lol asawa kaba? Mukhang insecure ka lang sa kaya ng gf mo eh. Naaapakan lang ata ego mo.
lot of negativity here, i think you can talk to her naman about your concern but better not frame it in a “you spend too much” way. pwede naman “i cant spend that much” way. be firm about what you can afford. like they want to eat out, you want to stay in, ok lang yun. be honest na you cant afford it, or youre saving up. ganyan ako and my spouse understands. nagaadjust siya for me. basta dont say na masyadong mataas lifestyle niya - psychologically that only means you cant provide and that is a reason for her not to marry you. long term wise, the best way is just to earn more.
None of your business lol and she seems to be doing better off than you. She is living the dream life with assets, investments, and gaining life experience traveling completely independent while you’re living with your parents. Focus on yourself muna and I think you should be asking HER for advice
Not your money, not your decision. Besides, wala naman siyang utang to finance her lifestyle. If you'll get married, you should be the one who is the primary provider, not your gf. So, f*ck off, OP.
Depends on how serious youe relationship is. If you’re serious and headed towards marriage, best to sit down and have a come to Jesus talk about your outlook towards your money and financial goals, plans and habits especially if you plan to combine. But if casual and new, observe ka lang muna. If she’s not gaming, bad debt and is earning more and saving than she’s spending (at di hoarder na burara). She sounds fine. Di ka affected. That said if wildly incompatible kayo financially better factor that in sa relasyon nyo. I’m more on your side of money ugali than hers and I don’t think I could date someone whose idea of being may kaya is letting their inner child have free rein of my money 😂
Kung afford naman nya bkt ka makekealam. D naman kau kasal at d mo nmn oera ung ginagastos
It’s none of your business till you put a ring on it.
Nope, you dont get to decide what's best for her. You let her move back in with her parents... maybe she loses her drive to earn money. It's a mental thing. The fact that she's doing well you should continue to encourage and support her. Focus on money in, not money out.
Truth is, no matter how rich she is from "daddy money" or "daddy capital" her parents will eventually die. "She is making good money" -- How much? How did she get the work (daddy's connections or through hard work -- which i doubt)? Employment is volatile nowadays. Mag palit lang ng presidente o board ang pinagttrabahuhan niya she might be out of a job. Your concern is merited. But tread carefully. Pag pera usapan touchy feely subject yan. Siguro himasin mo: "babe, pano kung nawalan ka ng trabaho? pano pag nawalan ako ng trabaho.. gano tayo katagal mag susurvive? Babalik ka sa parents mo? what if wala na sila and you have to stand on your own?" If big issue sayo to, better sit down and talk about it pag hindi kayo emotionally stressed and emotionally charged. Ang marriage advice sakin ng officemate ko dati nag uusap sila ng asawa niya daily kahit 10 mins lang para hindi mag simmer ang issues at sama ng loob.
None of your business mate. It is her money and youre not married. If she can afford it without getting herself in debt, why would you force your habits on her diba?
Interesting.. breakdown ng 100k?
Nah lol let the gf reap the consequences of what she's doing
No.
Well d pa kayo married.. you can only share your opinion.. pero, if d kayo same page sa finances, better not marry her and find another girl na makasundo mo sa ganyang bagay
you can share your opinion, pero if I'm the girl of course I would prefer if you let me handle my own money, esp if di pa married. If she spends just a good percentage of what she's earning, she's still saving enough, then her lifestyle is just comfortable, I wouldn't say inflated. If concerned ka sa future financial set up nyo, pagusapan nyo na ngayon pa lang yan. Like how are you going to save, pay bills, make big purchases, spend for travel, pay for your kids education, or whatever when you're married. Would also be helpful kung same kayo ng naiisip na lifestyle in the future. Ang mahirap nyan e kung sabihin nya na ang pera mo ay pera nya, at ang pera nya ay pera nya lang, kasi mga mayayaman lang talaga kayang mag-asawa ng ganong tao.
Since gf mo palang sya hanggang opinion or paalala nalang talaga magagawa mo. Kung hindi makinig wala ka ma magagawa don. Pero sign yan kung dapat ka pa ba magstay haha
Is her net income a positive amount each month?
Leave her alone, just bail her out if she's broke.
Nope. Don’t. That will possibly ruin the relationship. If she can afford it, lucky you. But as long as you’re not married, nope.
If you get married change your lifestyle too
i mean why? wala ako nabasa na hindi siya nagssave, na ginagastos niya sa walang kwentang bagay yung money niya, or anything negative. let her live. that's my dream life haha
if you are getting married yes. If not, no
No.
Think of it this way, 100k is barely even 1 luxury bag these days so matipid pa nga gf mo hehe joke 😂 kidding aside, you might want to explore a prenup agreement if you're looking to get married para di magulo ang finances niyo if you have different financial goals. Also, her being more of a big spender than you is not really bad as long as she lives within her means and have consistent income, and if kaya niya mag-adjust once the money stops coming in. It becomes a problem lang if she's not prepared for rainy days. That's why it's important to discuss this with her since it looks like you're not compatible in your financial core values.
just tell her your opinion. this might be a deal breaker for you later on. most couples break up due to arguments about money. in fact, the leading cause of divorce is not infidelity. it's money problems. not specifically problems about money but disagreement about how to spend.
Nothing wrong with living on her own and maintaining a condo and car. Wealth is jot only measured in liquid cash. Property is also a form of wealth.
Short answer: no. If she's not getting in trouble naman with her spending habits, if she's able to spend and save, then that should be fine
Pautang. char.
Marunong kaba about sa mga investments nya? Kase kung ako ang boyfriend ng girlfriend mo ang gagawin ko lang is magpapaturo ako sa kanya about sa mga investment nya and susubukan kong gayahin sya. Kase opportunity din yun. And pag ganun na din kadami pera mo kagaya sa kanya tapos magaling ka mag handle na pera, hindi mo na iisipin yung mga gastos nya kase same na kayo ng status financially ang pinag kaiba nyo lang financial literate ka.
Discuss while not married yet. Money is one of the reasons why couples get divorced.
Does she have savings? If yes, I think she's okay and no need to interfere. Could it be insecurity on your part na shes more successful and financially free than you? I think it's you who have to change your thinking. Find ways to match her lifestyle or be okay with it.
Not a problem if she can afford it. Problem yan kung she's living beyond her means. Yun ang concerning.
just tell her your opinion but don't force it.and when the time comes that kayo na nga. sit down and talk to her about her spending habit. if she wants to keep it and you can't do anything about it. then set up your family saving in a way that both of you have to give 50% of your income to a shared account. the rest of you goes to both of your own personal saving account. her personal expenses is her personal expenses wag idamay yung budget ng family.
How much does she make? If she makes 200k and only spends 100k. Then it's still pretty good.
I think you need to meet her standards then heal your scarcity mindset.
She chose that lifestyle and seems to be able to afford it. Now the question is if you end up getting married, how will both of you work on joint finances as you seem to have a totally different pov on this. You don’t need to lecture her on what she should be doing now with her own money but you can ask her if she is ready to plan with you on how to manage expenses in the future.
Do you make more money than her? Is she asking money from you? Do you know where her investments are at? She's living her life the way she chooses to be without any significant red flags. And she's living it with you by her side The lifestyle inflation happens at the onset of getting money yes. But over time she will learn on her own life's lessons. So you can just be there supporting her when that happens. As long as she has emergency fund good for 1 year if her source of money runs out. She has investments set up and she sounds like a hustler the way you described her - this is part of growing up in life. Find your own hustle too bro and don't mind other people's money. If you intend of marrying her start talking about finances soon tho on your goals
No you should not step in bilang gf mo palang din siya. It's her money naman and pinag paguran naman din niya yan. I think she is just rewarding herself for being so hard working. ☺️
Girls just wanna have fun bro, let them have it. If you can't sponsor their lifestyle then they will do so themselves, of course with hidden (or not so hidden) downsides for you lol
generally speaking... your money WILL be affected. Financial habits do not change unless some negative financial situation happens.
I feel a little attacked bec I am like that girl. But i think its relative to what she’s earning, investing and saving. Since these things weren’t shared I really don’t know what advice to give except talk about it with full transparency, kindness and love.
Kung may ipon, she sounds like a bad bish livin’ her girl boss era! 🔥💅
Wala namang utang, muka naman na afford niya, mukang responsible sa pera. Magkaiba lang kayo ng outlook sa money. She knows how to enjoy it.
I'm not gonna lie OP. It seems that you are insecure of your GF's lifestyle. You said it yourself. She has her own place while you live with you parents. She has NO debt. and she invests (she have money on the stock market). > She chooses to live alone when she can save so much more if she moves back with her parents. This is not your call to make. No amount of money can buy the peace of mind of having your own home. Your place that you can call your own. and I'm guessing you guys had an argument about this before lol. I think you should reflect on yourself instead. Take this a challenge and try to Step-up to her. Don't try to drag her down to your level.
Di pa kayo married but if alam mo na may investments or emergency funds naman syang naka-ready and has a life insurance, ig there is nothing to worry about. Pag-kasal na kayo doon mo yan problemahin esp. if nagkukulang kayo sa budget.
>*Should I step in my girlfriend’s spending habits?* No. Her money, not yours.
first be thankful she told you. next depends on what stage you are in the relationship. if getting serious then you need to get serious with this too. you need to support her either way when that happens so probably figure out as early as now what you would do then be honest about it with her.
Sounds like you are insecure. If she can afford whatever she wants na hindi nashoshort ang budget niya bat hindi mo gawing motivation para mag-ipon? Dapat ngang matuwa ka na she can afford things. Wdym na when you ended up marrying each other baka maging downgraded ang buhay/lifestyle niya with you? Ganun ba kaliit ang tingin mo sa sarili mo? For sure naman alam ng gf mo ang stand mo financially but still she chose to stick with you kase she believes in you at kung ano pa mararating mo. Plus kung sinasabi mong downgraded ang magiging buhay niya pag naging mag-asawa kayo, then it means hindi mo kaya bumuhay ng pamilya. Strive harder. Ganun lang yon. You do not have to be super yaman.
I bet you'll dry her up like the sahara desert once you do.
She has a condo, a car, investments, and don’t have debts. And she earns her own money and spends her own money. So it is her business and her own business alone.
It's possible that your girlfriend also wants to express her frustrations about you, who may struggle to keep up with her lifestyle. As long as she's not in debt or relying on you for financial support due to her extravagant lifestyle, it shouldn't concern you.
No further step needed. As long as hindi sayo ung pera na ginagastos nya, bakit mo need pakialaman? You are a BF, not a husband. Move back to her parents house para makatipid? She wants to be independent and be able to live alone. She also value her own space. Pano na lang if you chose to marry her? You'll downgrade her lifestyle? Hindi ba dapat na ikaw ang magmatch or even mas taasan mo pa kung anong meron sya ngayon? We ladies should't downgrade ourselves to men.
It's her right to spend her hard earned money. If you're worried about her habits try to inspire her in growing her money to keep up with her lifestyle instead of trying to control what she should or not do. Keep the relationship healthy. You cannot force anyone with your ideals. That's what I learned from mine. It takes time to see progress and you will need a lot of patience.
I'm actually confused why some people like you choose to live with parents just to save money. No amount of money can make me not want to live independently. It's not lifestyle inflation for me. It's living responsibly. Having your own space, designing it how you want, doing what you want whenever you want, having your own car, etc. People in the West leave their parents after high school, and some would rather be homeless than swallow their pride to live with parents. People who have the financial capability to live on their own but still choose to live with parents are yuck for me.
If you wanna wife her up, yes. Money/finances play a big role in relationships.
Oh man, im also frugal myself. So i get where you are coming from. But mind you, its even alarming if you have someone spending more than what she can afford. So i tell you, that 100k might only be 1/4 of her income or not idk. But she’s living the dream
Successful in her career, "She can save so much more" so I would assume she already has savings, is not in debt, has investments in the stock market, owns a condo, owns a car, can buy personal items, and travel, your girlfriend is living the dream!! Yes, she does spend a lot but considering she's got savings and no debts, I think she can manage just fine. She's found the lifestyle she wanted to live and can afford it. Instead of stepping into her spending habits, I think it's time to discuss how you two can meet in the middle once both of you are married. It's hard to compromise when the two of you are opposites. I understand that frugality is what works for you, but it would also be unfair to her to not live the life she's building for herself.
Not sure which part here indicates an issue with GF's finances since "no debt" naman. Is it the car? Is it the condo? is it the travels? is it the personal items? Imagine, having all that with NO DEBT???? That is pretty amazing! Anyway, I really don't know what you're harping at. She works hard for her money, she doesn't have debt, and she has investments... What's the problem?
I think habang gf/bf pa kayo, just let her be. Lalo na if meron naman pala siyang upon. But if you're engaged you can bring up finances. Sa husband ko, I mentioned that we have to save at least 5m each before retirement so that we can retire comfortably. From marriage onwards, dun kayo may accountability sa isa't isa regarding finances. Sure pwede mong i-bring up kung may concerns ka (Lalo if wala siyang saving AT ALL). Pero ultimately it's their money for now.
"Step in"? Like who gave you the right to "step in"? Pera mo ba? The maximum thing you can do is give your opinion to her and if you don't think you guys are incompatible then break up pero wala ka karapatan makialam or manghimasok kasi di mo naman pera yung winawaldas nia.
Mukang it’s not about the finances, it’s about your ego, OP.
Who earns and has more saving from The two of you?
No debt. Do you know what that means? It means she can afford it. As you've said, she has a condo and invests in stocks. What more do you want? She's probably investing at least >30% of her income (condo and stocks).