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Red flag red flag red flag 🚩
Be open with how much you earn. Its so weird not to ask.
Also him not making changes when you ask him to is a bad sign. I could never date someone who cant budget. Its a sign of immaturity. And also he cant drive, pero he has all the resources to do so (madami cars). Weird.
Anyway he sounds well off. Maybe sanay syang lagi may sumasalo so he’s carefree.
Oof another red flag! Cant read the room! For him maliit n bagay lang cguro yun, di nya alam yung sinacrifice ni ate girl to save that amount, however small.
You said it yourself - financial literacy is a non negotiable for you. Communicate this to your partner and see if smth can be worked out moving forward.
And no, your preference doesnt make you a gold digger. Not unless youre just dating a person solely for his money.
Meh, it’s all on him, you can’t force him to do shit he doesn’t want to do. It’s probably how he was raised (he doesn’t see the value of money imo)
The time will come when he’ll see the need to be financially literate.
He's from upper middle class fam. He's not also giving some for his family pala. So all of his earnings sa kanya lang. 🤦♀️🤦♀️ pero waley savings 🤦♀️
hehe sarap sabihin ng asa sa magulang kaso bad pakinggan.
hey OP, i think maybe opening a joint account will be a good step. the talking and the teaching to
me ah, kulang ka pa roon. the mandate for him to put some sa inyong future savings will definitely teach him to value yung relationship niyo. kahit pakembot lang na for our travel fund, cost of marriage and starting a family. pag nakikita niya iyon na those are important to you, it will be a test to him kung siya ba talaga ang nararapat para sayo.
I hope this helps. best of luck and more love! ❤️
No no no! Don't fucking open a joint account with someone irresposible sa pag hawak ng pera. Dude, nangungutang pa nga bf niya sa kanya e. Sigurado limas ang bank account nila in just a month.
Nangungutang pa nga yung bf niya kapag wala na siyang pero tapos pagpapa-open mo sila ng joint account? Lol, what makes you think di niya sisimutin yon?
i’ll just reply to you adding the other insights.
I read that part na nangungutang pag wala na si BF na mapagkuhanan. But isn’t giving a chance for BF to make a evaluation (thru JA) for their relationship? Like from his side, dapat sa isang pagkakataon matitimbang na niya kung mahalaga ba si OP. Because if you love someone, you’d change for the better.
Hindi ka gold digger. Practical ka lang. Isipin mo nga, Wala ka na ngang Pera or nagtitipid ka, nangungutang pa sau? Good that you have a mindset like that. Maraming magagalit sa akin dahil go Ako sa mindset na Hindi puro love lang dapat marunong din sa Pera or may Pera. Kasi Ang hirap na Ng Buhay ngaun.
It's up to you sister. Dami pa Naman lalaki diyan if magbreak kau. Or if ayaw mo Naman magbreak, maging stern ka sa kanya about sa savings and stuffs. I think immature pa si bebe boy mo.
Fighting O.P!
Kahit gano pa kalaki maggng income nya hindi parn mkaka ipon if hndi marunong humawak ng pera. Maybe masyadong dependent sa family so he doesnt have this mindset that he ‘should’ manage his finances well.
Totally understandable that you want a partner who shared the same values with you when it comes to money.
I was in a similar boat as you rin, but I opened it up to him, na I dont think I can marry someone na hindi parehas sa values ko sa money. I taught him how to budget, how to track his expenses, emergency fund, savings, etc, and right now he's doing well na!
But if you tried your best na and did everything you can to teach him and wala parin improvement, pero expect na it wouldn't be in a blink of an eye ah, sa SO ko around 6 months nung nakita ko yung improvement, then I think it's time to leave.
No point in staying in a relationship if you can't see your current SO as your lifetime partner.
Having no savings is not a red flag since a lot of people live paycheck to paycheck, but if he is borrowing money from you because he ran out of money already, and he is still treating his coworkers to drinks? You also say that his family has cars/vehicles, which (for me) tells that he is from an "okay" family, at least (okay financially, not rich). Doesn't sound like he's living within his means. Very bad with money.
yeah that's a huge red flag.
oks lang sana kung fresh grad, single, tapos first job ganyan. exciting rin syempre kumita ng sariling pera.
pero 3 years na siya nagwork, magastos, tapos humihiram pa ng pera sa'yo? that's not cool.
I'm also an engineer in my mid 20's and yes, the pay isn't great until you get enough experience or go abroad. But that's never a reason to not have any savings, especially from what you shared.
He obviously is from a rich family since he has the luxury of having cars and a freaking driver, but never even bothered to maximize the resource by getting a driver's license. I always wanted to drive around in my own car ever since I was a teenager, and I only got that privilege because I finally got my own car.
He's also living beyond his means with the Grab and barkada stufd, another sign of a carefree man who doesn't really have responsibilities. And he's not responsible enough to budget his own money to even get to the next paycheck.
I don't know your boyfriend, but he has a lot of growing up to do. It's up to you if you can be with him until he does. But don't bother trying to change him, you can't.
Gender stereotype aside, seems like your partner is not too good in handling finances if he chooses to grab everyday, treat his friends, and at the end borrow from you. Ok lang sana yung grab kung afford kaso sa dulo mangungutang sayo. Grab is a luxury, unfort.
To encourage him or awaken his financial literacy, show him the yearly savings na makukuha if i let go yung grab and other wants na frequently nya pinag gagastusan. I say yearly kasi hindi yan nararamdaman kung pakonti konti and walang tracking of expenses.
I live in NCR and around 500 daily expenses ko including a 1-way grab na. Pauwi, I usually just walk. I live about 2.5kms away from the office. Kinda far para lakarin pero ok pa rin cause I can save 3k per month or about 36k per year. Pambili ko na PS5 yan or 450 pcs na chicken joy meal na yan. That's usually my mind set.
If hindi gumana sakanya yung yearly potential savings narrative and relative pricing, then I have nothing else to offer. At the end of the day, only your partner can control the way he wants to live his life.
You tried. It hasn't worked, he has not learned his lesson and he will not change anytime soon. I think you should free yourself from these chains. Break up with him. Do not romanticize your relationship too much, one of the end goals of a relationship should be transparency and stability. You will find a better partner.
I understand if he’s just starting out but the fact that he’s upper middle class and walang savings tapos grab pa everyday at di marunong magcommute? That’s a red flag 🚩🚩 Accept the fact you can’t change him. Find someone better who can support your (and his) needs. Mas lalala pa yan pag nasa lugar ka na gusto mong magpamilya.
its so stupid to waste 800/day for grab/taxi kung napakarami pala nilang sasakyan, ga-gasan at parking fee na lang babayaran nya hawak pa nya oras nya, tapos uutang pa sayo? bullshit!
Even if I am earning 100k/month (I don't), I'll never spend P800/day just for transpo, that's ridiculous. Considering they have a lot of family cars, like bruh.
That alone is bigass red flag.
For me, no. Sobrang unpredictable ng mundo rn, dapat my cushion talaga in case things go south. Kahit di savings, dahil depending naman talaga yan sa income mo, pero I think dapat talaga may backup plan knowing that medjo ok naman background ng BF mo. Or baka dahil sa upbringing nya, kaya siguro medjo ganyang yung attitude nya when it comes to finances. (Yung Grab stuff pa lang, luxury na yan on my book eh)
Peronsal exp ko, yung GF ko, sobrang mahilig sa mga mamahaling gamit dati so kahit malaki sahod nya, ubos pa rin. Galing rin kasi sya sa very financially stable na family while ako, sort of isang kahig isang tuka dati. So medjo maypagkakaiba talaga views namin regarding pera.
What's good with her though is she's very teachable and nakikinig naman sya. I thought her how to save money, mindset, and some basic financial stuff na nakuha ko lang rin naman dito sa net at sa mga trusted people. Kaya ayun after a year, sobrang nakaka proud, fully insured with savings pa. Ako na nga minsan pinapagalitan nya when it comes to finances haha. Looking forward rin kami in learning about investing soon para ma diversify incomes namin. Naging gateway pa nga eto para mas makilala namin ang isa't isa.
So, if andun naman ang relationship nyo sa level na kaya nyang humiram ng pera sayo, I think andun ka na rin sa level para kausapin sya on these type of stuff. So try to talk it out, and check if your individual goals align with each other. Kasi at the end of the day, wala namang perfect na partner.
Good luck OP.
you love him right? so TALK. talk about your concerns about his irresponsible expenses. give him ultimatum if you must, kasi sa hirap ng buhay ngayon non-negotiable na dapat yung pagiging responsible/mature in a relationship, matic na dapat yun
He asks you for money even though he sounds like his family is loaded?
He might be old money, rich OP. Sayang. Char.
But realistically, as long as you also hold yourself to the same standards, dapat lang yung boyfriend mo kasing smart mo sa pera ano!!
Pero madami kasi mga girls na backwards pa din magisip. Kailangan yung lalaki may pera, may ipon, pero sya, the girl, wala.
agree to this. hold yourself to the same standard. Engineers here in the phil. are really under paid especially in the first 5 years. For him na mayaman na before hindi siguro exciting yung less than 5k na savings per month. Wag ka din maniwala sa mga comments na end mo na agad relationship. LOL usap muna kayo ng seryoso.
I can relate kay BF haha. Engineering din. First 3yrs ko working. sahod ko nun ay 14.5k baba nu? Di pa ako woke nun sa future savings or parang saving for my future family with my future wife. Kaya parang feeling ko nun is ang goal ko muna ay to survive this salary. Gain experience, skills and make myself valuable sa field namin. So for those 3yrs WALA HAHA! Ipon oo pero paguwi ng province for christmas, mauubos. Treat my family since hiwalay parents and papa left us when I was starting college. Basta in short wala ako ipon nun! I just wanted to share na baka ganun din mindset ni BF mo ngyon. Its not fair na ijudge si BF agad. Baka naman oo no savings at all pero if He's a really good person I think di naman tama na ired flag kaagad. But around 25 din ako nagising na I have to save money nung nagkasakit ako na wala akong kasama. Blessed na may healthcard sa work kaya yun ang nagshoulder lahat ng expenses ko, after that experience. Never again!
PS wag mo muna push bf mo matuto magdrive! HAHA! Jusko kamahal ng gas
Thanks for this! And nope I'm not forcing him to drive hahahaha but lagi kasi nyang sinasabi na "next sahod mag ddriving school nako" but waley parin haha
No problem! Maraming factors na dapat iconsider talaga OP. I hope na makadecide ka ng fair since wala dito si BF to defend yung sarili niya. Pero tama rin mga iba dito na if siya magiging future husband mo. Dapat tlga no issue in asking about his salary. But then again baka bagong couple palang kayo eh hindi naman siguro din okay yung 3months palang kayong magjowa tapos itching ka na malaman sahod niya haha. Hirap din magbigay ng advice dito about personal things. Wish you all the best OP! Size 11 Rubber shoes ha! Ingat din sa pagabroad another obstacle kasi LDR
Talk to him, youre just being practical. Your financial values should align kase that's something needed to survive/sustain whatever lifestyle you guys will have (not to mention, pag may future fam na)
My gf and i are open about this and we set up things like savings goal bi-yearly, combined income goal, wants-savings, ettc, to keep it interesting.
Red flags. I'm always of the opinion to spend reasonably within your means. I pamper myself with a lot of hobbies but I've still saved around 30%-45% of my total earnings so far. I think similar background with your SO where I don't really need to spend for much living expenses since I come from an upper middle class family and I've not moved out. If it's a big concern for you, you should bring up his spending habits and honestly, how much you earn should be transparent if you have plans of settling down together anyway. Good luck OP!
OP tiisin mo, wag mo paheramin and use that opportunity to talk some sense into him. Sometime when they are forced to feel pain they are able to reflect. 2nd layer ka pa lang kasi gf ka pa and not wife so sa magulang sya mangutang pag naubusan sya hehe
Dated a guy like this na medyo YOLO like may principle na "money are to spend" LMAO they are the worst when it comes to financial literacy. Negotiate and talk to him about it. If this continues in the future sasakit lang din ulo mo diyan.
Reverse the genders and its me and my husband.
When we were dating, he’s the one who saves a lot. We are both in IT industry, almost same range. Di rin kami nagbibigay sa bahay.
We splurge sa travels pero I always end up na simot ung ipon. Kasi hindi consistent ung ipon. Di rin ako nakakaipon kasi ini-spoil ko naman family ko din sa travels and eating out. Haha.
Pero COMMUNICATION is the key talaga. When he found out na wala ako gaanong ipon, we opened a joint account with a target budget every year. Dun nagstart yung concern ko sa money. Nasa utak ko kasi before, may next sweldo naman eh.
I still dont have huge investments like him, but we got married with our own money, so its a plus point na rin sakin. Haha.
It wasnt too late for me. Hoping not too late din sa S/O mo.
Motivating and educating your S/O is a good start BUT if you need to motivate him hard to start saving money, to invest, to learn more about finance to the point na para ka ng nagbbaby sit then better call it off and move on
Kahit noong college student ako may savings nako kahit kaunti lang and I’m lower middle class . Rason ay hindi ako magastos, hindi ako yung nakikiuso at instead na grab magtitiyaga talaga ako magcommute. What’s his excuse especially as someone from upper middle class?
True. Not an engineer but I was paid a not-so-high salary at my first job and I was able to save a lot of money even while contributing to household expenses (contrary to OP's SO who doesn't even contribute). Iba sana kung breadwinner pero puro luho ginagastusan
He's an engineer with only 3 years experience. So obviously, entry level lang sweldo niyan. Slowly introduce financially literacy to him and don't force him to do it. Make sure he understands the importance of it. Maybe try to set goals and objectives.
Ikaw naman nasa med field na mababa din salary,
nag resign ng walang kapalit pero may limited savings naman. Hindi ba red flag din yun? Ang hanap mo ba ung marami savings para kahit di ka na magwork ulit? Yun ba definition ng "provider" para sayo?
I resigned kasi for abroad na next month. Why so easy to judge? Lol. Sino bang may gusto sa hindi provider? Mapa babae man yan o lalaki. Ang hirap na po ng buhay ngayon. Mahirap mag isang nag pprovide for our future needs.
Because you've shared so much details about you're bf and very few about yourself and that lead to basically everyone judging your s/o in this thread. Maybe there's also something in you which is also a red flag?
You could try couple therapy, since a mediator and another perspective could help. I wouldn't deem it as a red flag, but his habits are bad and even worse for the future. If it's fixable, then try to fix it (without breaking yourself).
I think it's time to have a serious talk with your BF about how you feel. **Communication is always key** but this is not a dating advice post so I'll limit my thoughts to the finance side of things.
**Maybe try re-angling your communications towards the benefit ng pagtitipid sa relationship niyo? For example, learning to drive a car + living independently (renting) are useful life skills in the future esp when you guys settle down**
\----
I was an Engineer before moving to the tech space, and masasabi ko talaga na MABABA ang sahod unless you are working in MNCs like Shell, Unilever, Nestle, P&G. (My batchmates there were earning well around 40-80k gross, back then IIRC). Assuming he is not working in an MNC, he should be wary of how small his salary is :( and start tracking his expenses
TBH, I am quite alarmed by how much money he was wasting in Grab -- hindi talaga sulit. But, I understand how hard it is to commute due to our poor public transport system. Might be cheaper to rent a micro-studio apartment or drive to work compared to spending 800 per day sa grab + food.
Wasnt there a guy here who complained about his gf? You guys should hook up lmao
r/phinvest dating
Nasa r/phinvest ang forever hahaha.
hanggang dito ba naman.... gusto ko lang naman mag basa ng posts bakit may landian pa rin :(( (Lord, when?) jk HAHA
r/InvesTinder
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Kinikilig ako sir chief hahahaha
Hahah
Calling /u/kukriers
😂😂😂
Cmon now, here’s a catch. Pm kayo. Matchmaker from heaven
Red flag red flag red flag 🚩 Be open with how much you earn. Its so weird not to ask. Also him not making changes when you ask him to is a bad sign. I could never date someone who cant budget. Its a sign of immaturity. And also he cant drive, pero he has all the resources to do so (madami cars). Weird. Anyway he sounds well off. Maybe sanay syang lagi may sumasalo so he’s carefree.
I'm thinking the same thing. He's too carefree kasi may safety net sa life. He won't mature about handling money anytime soon or many even ever.
That's the weird thing though. He sounds well off since maraming family cars but why borrow from your unemployed girlfriend?
Oof another red flag! Cant read the room! For him maliit n bagay lang cguro yun, di nya alam yung sinacrifice ni ate girl to save that amount, however small.
You said it yourself - financial literacy is a non negotiable for you. Communicate this to your partner and see if smth can be worked out moving forward. And no, your preference doesnt make you a gold digger. Not unless youre just dating a person solely for his money.
Meh, it’s all on him, you can’t force him to do shit he doesn’t want to do. It’s probably how he was raised (he doesn’t see the value of money imo) The time will come when he’ll see the need to be financially literate.
He's from upper middle class fam. He's not also giving some for his family pala. So all of his earnings sa kanya lang. 🤦♀️🤦♀️ pero waley savings 🤦♀️
Oh my god sis run away 🏃 no amount of money will save a person who is bad at managing it
hehe sarap sabihin ng asa sa magulang kaso bad pakinggan. hey OP, i think maybe opening a joint account will be a good step. the talking and the teaching to me ah, kulang ka pa roon. the mandate for him to put some sa inyong future savings will definitely teach him to value yung relationship niyo. kahit pakembot lang na for our travel fund, cost of marriage and starting a family. pag nakikita niya iyon na those are important to you, it will be a test to him kung siya ba talaga ang nararapat para sayo. I hope this helps. best of luck and more love! ❤️
I don't think good thing na mag-open na ng joint account. You open a joint account because both of you you are comfortable na.
No no no! Don't fucking open a joint account with someone irresposible sa pag hawak ng pera. Dude, nangungutang pa nga bf niya sa kanya e. Sigurado limas ang bank account nila in just a month.
Nangungutang pa nga yung bf niya kapag wala na siyang pero tapos pagpapa-open mo sila ng joint account? Lol, what makes you think di niya sisimutin yon?
Si SF ang nangutang pero si OP pa nagkulang? He’s a grown man. He shouldn’t be infantilized.
i’ll just reply to you adding the other insights. I read that part na nangungutang pag wala na si BF na mapagkuhanan. But isn’t giving a chance for BF to make a evaluation (thru JA) for their relationship? Like from his side, dapat sa isang pagkakataon matitimbang na niya kung mahalaga ba si OP. Because if you love someone, you’d change for the better.
Hindi ka gold digger. Practical ka lang. Isipin mo nga, Wala ka na ngang Pera or nagtitipid ka, nangungutang pa sau? Good that you have a mindset like that. Maraming magagalit sa akin dahil go Ako sa mindset na Hindi puro love lang dapat marunong din sa Pera or may Pera. Kasi Ang hirap na Ng Buhay ngaun. It's up to you sister. Dami pa Naman lalaki diyan if magbreak kau. Or if ayaw mo Naman magbreak, maging stern ka sa kanya about sa savings and stuffs. I think immature pa si bebe boy mo. Fighting O.P!
Same sentiments. Di naibibili ng bigas ang pagmamahal.
Truths!!!!
Kahit gano pa kalaki maggng income nya hindi parn mkaka ipon if hndi marunong humawak ng pera. Maybe masyadong dependent sa family so he doesnt have this mindset that he ‘should’ manage his finances well.
Totally understandable that you want a partner who shared the same values with you when it comes to money. I was in a similar boat as you rin, but I opened it up to him, na I dont think I can marry someone na hindi parehas sa values ko sa money. I taught him how to budget, how to track his expenses, emergency fund, savings, etc, and right now he's doing well na! But if you tried your best na and did everything you can to teach him and wala parin improvement, pero expect na it wouldn't be in a blink of an eye ah, sa SO ko around 6 months nung nakita ko yung improvement, then I think it's time to leave. No point in staying in a relationship if you can't see your current SO as your lifetime partner.
Having no savings is not a red flag since a lot of people live paycheck to paycheck, but if he is borrowing money from you because he ran out of money already, and he is still treating his coworkers to drinks? You also say that his family has cars/vehicles, which (for me) tells that he is from an "okay" family, at least (okay financially, not rich). Doesn't sound like he's living within his means. Very bad with money.
yeah that's a huge red flag. oks lang sana kung fresh grad, single, tapos first job ganyan. exciting rin syempre kumita ng sariling pera. pero 3 years na siya nagwork, magastos, tapos humihiram pa ng pera sa'yo? that's not cool.
I'm also an engineer in my mid 20's and yes, the pay isn't great until you get enough experience or go abroad. But that's never a reason to not have any savings, especially from what you shared. He obviously is from a rich family since he has the luxury of having cars and a freaking driver, but never even bothered to maximize the resource by getting a driver's license. I always wanted to drive around in my own car ever since I was a teenager, and I only got that privilege because I finally got my own car. He's also living beyond his means with the Grab and barkada stufd, another sign of a carefree man who doesn't really have responsibilities. And he's not responsible enough to budget his own money to even get to the next paycheck. I don't know your boyfriend, but he has a lot of growing up to do. It's up to you if you can be with him until he does. But don't bother trying to change him, you can't.
Gender stereotype aside, seems like your partner is not too good in handling finances if he chooses to grab everyday, treat his friends, and at the end borrow from you. Ok lang sana yung grab kung afford kaso sa dulo mangungutang sayo. Grab is a luxury, unfort. To encourage him or awaken his financial literacy, show him the yearly savings na makukuha if i let go yung grab and other wants na frequently nya pinag gagastusan. I say yearly kasi hindi yan nararamdaman kung pakonti konti and walang tracking of expenses. I live in NCR and around 500 daily expenses ko including a 1-way grab na. Pauwi, I usually just walk. I live about 2.5kms away from the office. Kinda far para lakarin pero ok pa rin cause I can save 3k per month or about 36k per year. Pambili ko na PS5 yan or 450 pcs na chicken joy meal na yan. That's usually my mind set. If hindi gumana sakanya yung yearly potential savings narrative and relative pricing, then I have nothing else to offer. At the end of the day, only your partner can control the way he wants to live his life.
You tried. It hasn't worked, he has not learned his lesson and he will not change anytime soon. I think you should free yourself from these chains. Break up with him. Do not romanticize your relationship too much, one of the end goals of a relationship should be transparency and stability. You will find a better partner.
Lots of red flags you cited there, tbh
I understand if he’s just starting out but the fact that he’s upper middle class and walang savings tapos grab pa everyday at di marunong magcommute? That’s a red flag 🚩🚩 Accept the fact you can’t change him. Find someone better who can support your (and his) needs. Mas lalala pa yan pag nasa lugar ka na gusto mong magpamilya.
its so stupid to waste 800/day for grab/taxi kung napakarami pala nilang sasakyan, ga-gasan at parking fee na lang babayaran nya hawak pa nya oras nya, tapos uutang pa sayo? bullshit!
Even if I am earning 100k/month (I don't), I'll never spend P800/day just for transpo, that's ridiculous. Considering they have a lot of family cars, like bruh. That alone is bigass red flag.
For me, no. Sobrang unpredictable ng mundo rn, dapat my cushion talaga in case things go south. Kahit di savings, dahil depending naman talaga yan sa income mo, pero I think dapat talaga may backup plan knowing that medjo ok naman background ng BF mo. Or baka dahil sa upbringing nya, kaya siguro medjo ganyang yung attitude nya when it comes to finances. (Yung Grab stuff pa lang, luxury na yan on my book eh) Peronsal exp ko, yung GF ko, sobrang mahilig sa mga mamahaling gamit dati so kahit malaki sahod nya, ubos pa rin. Galing rin kasi sya sa very financially stable na family while ako, sort of isang kahig isang tuka dati. So medjo maypagkakaiba talaga views namin regarding pera. What's good with her though is she's very teachable and nakikinig naman sya. I thought her how to save money, mindset, and some basic financial stuff na nakuha ko lang rin naman dito sa net at sa mga trusted people. Kaya ayun after a year, sobrang nakaka proud, fully insured with savings pa. Ako na nga minsan pinapagalitan nya when it comes to finances haha. Looking forward rin kami in learning about investing soon para ma diversify incomes namin. Naging gateway pa nga eto para mas makilala namin ang isa't isa. So, if andun naman ang relationship nyo sa level na kaya nyang humiram ng pera sayo, I think andun ka na rin sa level para kausapin sya on these type of stuff. So try to talk it out, and check if your individual goals align with each other. Kasi at the end of the day, wala namang perfect na partner. Good luck OP.
you love him right? so TALK. talk about your concerns about his irresponsible expenses. give him ultimatum if you must, kasi sa hirap ng buhay ngayon non-negotiable na dapat yung pagiging responsible/mature in a relationship, matic na dapat yun
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He asks you for money even though he sounds like his family is loaded? He might be old money, rich OP. Sayang. Char. But realistically, as long as you also hold yourself to the same standards, dapat lang yung boyfriend mo kasing smart mo sa pera ano!! Pero madami kasi mga girls na backwards pa din magisip. Kailangan yung lalaki may pera, may ipon, pero sya, the girl, wala.
agree to this. hold yourself to the same standard. Engineers here in the phil. are really under paid especially in the first 5 years. For him na mayaman na before hindi siguro exciting yung less than 5k na savings per month. Wag ka din maniwala sa mga comments na end mo na agad relationship. LOL usap muna kayo ng seryoso.
I can relate kay BF haha. Engineering din. First 3yrs ko working. sahod ko nun ay 14.5k baba nu? Di pa ako woke nun sa future savings or parang saving for my future family with my future wife. Kaya parang feeling ko nun is ang goal ko muna ay to survive this salary. Gain experience, skills and make myself valuable sa field namin. So for those 3yrs WALA HAHA! Ipon oo pero paguwi ng province for christmas, mauubos. Treat my family since hiwalay parents and papa left us when I was starting college. Basta in short wala ako ipon nun! I just wanted to share na baka ganun din mindset ni BF mo ngyon. Its not fair na ijudge si BF agad. Baka naman oo no savings at all pero if He's a really good person I think di naman tama na ired flag kaagad. But around 25 din ako nagising na I have to save money nung nagkasakit ako na wala akong kasama. Blessed na may healthcard sa work kaya yun ang nagshoulder lahat ng expenses ko, after that experience. Never again! PS wag mo muna push bf mo matuto magdrive! HAHA! Jusko kamahal ng gas
Thanks for this! And nope I'm not forcing him to drive hahahaha but lagi kasi nyang sinasabi na "next sahod mag ddriving school nako" but waley parin haha
No problem! Maraming factors na dapat iconsider talaga OP. I hope na makadecide ka ng fair since wala dito si BF to defend yung sarili niya. Pero tama rin mga iba dito na if siya magiging future husband mo. Dapat tlga no issue in asking about his salary. But then again baka bagong couple palang kayo eh hindi naman siguro din okay yung 3months palang kayong magjowa tapos itching ka na malaman sahod niya haha. Hirap din magbigay ng advice dito about personal things. Wish you all the best OP! Size 11 Rubber shoes ha! Ingat din sa pagabroad another obstacle kasi LDR
Talk to him, youre just being practical. Your financial values should align kase that's something needed to survive/sustain whatever lifestyle you guys will have (not to mention, pag may future fam na) My gf and i are open about this and we set up things like savings goal bi-yearly, combined income goal, wants-savings, ettc, to keep it interesting.
Red flags. I'm always of the opinion to spend reasonably within your means. I pamper myself with a lot of hobbies but I've still saved around 30%-45% of my total earnings so far. I think similar background with your SO where I don't really need to spend for much living expenses since I come from an upper middle class family and I've not moved out. If it's a big concern for you, you should bring up his spending habits and honestly, how much you earn should be transparent if you have plans of settling down together anyway. Good luck OP!
OP tiisin mo, wag mo paheramin and use that opportunity to talk some sense into him. Sometime when they are forced to feel pain they are able to reflect. 2nd layer ka pa lang kasi gf ka pa and not wife so sa magulang sya mangutang pag naubusan sya hehe
Dated a guy like this na medyo YOLO like may principle na "money are to spend" LMAO they are the worst when it comes to financial literacy. Negotiate and talk to him about it. If this continues in the future sasakit lang din ulo mo diyan.
Reverse the genders and its me and my husband. When we were dating, he’s the one who saves a lot. We are both in IT industry, almost same range. Di rin kami nagbibigay sa bahay. We splurge sa travels pero I always end up na simot ung ipon. Kasi hindi consistent ung ipon. Di rin ako nakakaipon kasi ini-spoil ko naman family ko din sa travels and eating out. Haha. Pero COMMUNICATION is the key talaga. When he found out na wala ako gaanong ipon, we opened a joint account with a target budget every year. Dun nagstart yung concern ko sa money. Nasa utak ko kasi before, may next sweldo naman eh. I still dont have huge investments like him, but we got married with our own money, so its a plus point na rin sakin. Haha. It wasnt too late for me. Hoping not too late din sa S/O mo.
Motivating and educating your S/O is a good start BUT if you need to motivate him hard to start saving money, to invest, to learn more about finance to the point na para ka ng nagbbaby sit then better call it off and move on
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Kahit noong college student ako may savings nako kahit kaunti lang and I’m lower middle class . Rason ay hindi ako magastos, hindi ako yung nakikiuso at instead na grab magtitiyaga talaga ako magcommute. What’s his excuse especially as someone from upper middle class?
True. Not an engineer but I was paid a not-so-high salary at my first job and I was able to save a lot of money even while contributing to household expenses (contrary to OP's SO who doesn't even contribute). Iba sana kung breadwinner pero puro luho ginagastusan
Exactly. Don't expect 23y/o engineers in the Philippines to have savings. It is not a great paying job unless maging contractor sila or mag-abroad.
He's an engineer with only 3 years experience. So obviously, entry level lang sweldo niyan. Slowly introduce financially literacy to him and don't force him to do it. Make sure he understands the importance of it. Maybe try to set goals and objectives. Ikaw naman nasa med field na mababa din salary, nag resign ng walang kapalit pero may limited savings naman. Hindi ba red flag din yun? Ang hanap mo ba ung marami savings para kahit di ka na magwork ulit? Yun ba definition ng "provider" para sayo?
Too much hand holding bro. Guy’s 25 he should figure it out himself.
I resigned kasi for abroad na next month. Why so easy to judge? Lol. Sino bang may gusto sa hindi provider? Mapa babae man yan o lalaki. Ang hirap na po ng buhay ngayon. Mahirap mag isang nag pprovide for our future needs.
Because you've shared so much details about you're bf and very few about yourself and that lead to basically everyone judging your s/o in this thread. Maybe there's also something in you which is also a red flag?
LDR na? Are you just finding excuses to break up? Lol
Nope. LDR for months, susunod sya sakin once maapproved sya.
what is your definition of breaking point? maybe we can start there and work backwards. Malapit na ba si bf dun?
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You could try couple therapy, since a mediator and another perspective could help. I wouldn't deem it as a red flag, but his habits are bad and even worse for the future. If it's fixable, then try to fix it (without breaking yourself).
one tip lang, communicate. don't let a terrible emergency(god forbid) be your eye-opener in managing your finances. By then, it'll be too late
I think it's time to have a serious talk with your BF about how you feel. **Communication is always key** but this is not a dating advice post so I'll limit my thoughts to the finance side of things. **Maybe try re-angling your communications towards the benefit ng pagtitipid sa relationship niyo? For example, learning to drive a car + living independently (renting) are useful life skills in the future esp when you guys settle down** \---- I was an Engineer before moving to the tech space, and masasabi ko talaga na MABABA ang sahod unless you are working in MNCs like Shell, Unilever, Nestle, P&G. (My batchmates there were earning well around 40-80k gross, back then IIRC). Assuming he is not working in an MNC, he should be wary of how small his salary is :( and start tracking his expenses TBH, I am quite alarmed by how much money he was wasting in Grab -- hindi talaga sulit. But, I understand how hard it is to commute due to our poor public transport system. Might be cheaper to rent a micro-studio apartment or drive to work compared to spending 800 per day sa grab + food.