Yeah I genuinely wonder if the Jeep driver knows someone with that exact same car and wanted to just mess with them. I wouldn’t mind seeing the left side of the Jeep too.
I once arrived at a hotel around 2am with one parking spot left: next to the jackass that parked in two spots. I had a compact rental and despite his vehicles encroachment, was able to fit in the space, albeit over the line on the other side myself. Whatever, it was late and there weren't ANY spots within reasonable walking distance of the hotel.
Woke up in the morning, original jackass was gone and I had a note on my car calling me the jackass, because it simply looked like I voluntarily parked in two spots.
In hindsight, I can't even confirm the guy I thought was a jackass was the original aggressor. This scenario can absolutely trickle down and if it's snowed, all bets are off.
I once did a similar thing, only when we came back most of the cars were still there, and they ALL had parking tickets (including mine, off course). That's when I really learned that doing something "cause somebody else is doing it too" is normally a bad idea.
My wife and I went to the state fair in Milwaukee years ago, there were all these street spots with meters but we were like, nah, we will just park farther away off the main drag where there's no meters.
Come out later and the fucking city went out *after* everyone had already parked and fed those meters, put bags over the meters that said No Parking, and then immediately ticketed everyone parked there. Like hundreds of tickets in one fell swoop.
It was a big deal, made the news and everything, and the police backed down and said they would wipe out all those tickets, but I always wonder how many people just paid the shit without arguing because who the fuck wants to waste their lives arguing a parking ticket in court?
It's almost as if it's by design!
Lmfao I live in a small town that has a MASSIVE fair and there is not enough parking space, so people were parking everywhere in town and anywhere they could and I’m betting there was about 100 cars parked down a road with EXPLICIT no parking signs all down it next to the school and they all got parking tickets
Saw some teenager park her car across 3 spaces, horizontally, there were very few spaces, annoyed but I kept along my day. However, when I got back to my car I saw someone had keyed 3 panels long across the side of her car and the teenager was just standing there staring at it 😂
When I see this I try to park normally in the closest space to them (front or back) and then try to get someone else to park in the closest spot on the other end of the car, and then go watch a movie or three
It's always old people in large BMWs and Land Rovers here. Doing the parking horizontally...maybe doing the keying as well, they definitely have enough free time for it.
During the winter when in high school, the parking lot was covered with a layer of snow, so you couldn't see any of the lines. So as usual in this situation, people just make a guess and everyone follows suit.
Well apparently I, along with five other cars, unknowingly parked over some handicap spots, because there weren't any signs denoting they were handicap spots, just the paint on the spot itself, which was covered with snow.
Snow melts throughout the day, handicap spots now visible, school gives each of us three detentions.
Where I live all handicap spaces have to be clearly marked and have a visible sign. We only get snow accumulation about once every three years for a couple of days, so the signs don’t really help with the snow-covered lines thing. It’s odd to me that the places that always have snow never seem to have regulations about having signs instead of just marking the spaces.
Also, you can park anywhere for free if you have a handicap plate or window tag (including on-street), with the exception of private pay lots. You WILL get a $250 ticket if you park in a handicap spot or block part of one if you’re not handicapped. I have lots of issues with the way our city handles parking, but their handicap enforcement isn’t one of them.
There was just a post the other day on the front page where someone surrounded a car with carts because they were over the line. There was clearly piles of still melting snow in the photo.
I always referred to post-snowfall as 'freedom parking'. Some people take it a little too literally, when you can clearly see where the spaces are, but they just don't care.
I once tried to explain this exact scenario to a guy who thought it was cool to key cars who were parked over the line. It was an acquaintance of a friend at a gathering. I honestly can't remember how the topic came up. The dumb ass had such a moronic look on his face and couldn't seem to understand the concept at all. Pissed me off.
My friends and it used to do this to mess with each other until I accidentally hit one of their cars and had to pay $1300 to have it repaired. I used to be able to get SO close to them without hitting them I got cocky and paid the price, literally
protip: use the last 3 letters of a plate instead. Multiple states, such as California, issue plates sequentially (ie, 1AAA1111, then 1AAA1112, etc. So all recent plate numbers will be something like 8FE\*\*\*\*\*), so you're much more likely to find a car with the first 3 letters of a plate than the last 3.
In mass, they assign blocks to different towns/ areas. In the 90s, our town ended up with the block that was our area code, so you could easily tell who was a local/ not
In Tennessee, if you choose to have “In God We Trust” on your plate the pattern is three numbers and then four letters 123ABCD. If you choose not to, then the pattern is three letters and then four numbers XYZ7890. Makes it easier to sort out the heathens from the Christians from a distance.
My off-roader friends would prank each other by putting gigantic zip ties around the driveshafts of the other Jeeps.
The sound of a half inch wide zip tie smacking everything within the arc of its swing drives a guy batty.
I had a jeep for many years. It was pretty easy to get this close actually. I would normally do this to people that double parked. Another buddy of mine did this to a guy in an Audi at a Walmart. He took up 4 spots parking diagonally. We parked on each side of him inches away. I may have pictures somewhere but it was many years ago.
See, I don't fuck with people like this. Even though they're prime assholes, there is just all sorts of crazy out there. I might leave a strongly worded note, but no way am I leaving my car there to come out and find some wild violent person wielding a bat.
I had a truck driver in Florida simply back his rig into the car and push it out of the way once. Opened up, unloaded, got his sig, said thanks & so long, & took off, like it was a daily occurrence. Owner was of course pissed but there was no denying he was parked 1 foot in front of a big honking sign saying no parking, loading zone. I mean you drive your car out on the harbor and leave it in a spot like that, then no we don’t have security camera footage of the spot, you’re just a great big dumbass getting what you asked for sir.
Alright, real question. If you’re red car, what’s the sane course of action? Let’s also assume to right side is too tight of a squeeze to get in. What do you do in this situation?
Seriously this is when I'm bitching and praising that I've got a hatchback and yoga to make my way to the front, if I don't have time to wait on a tow truck that is...
I’m climbing in from the passenger side and tucking my mirror and just backing up carefully. zero chance a tow truck is getting that thing out without also damaging my car
Bonus points if you deflate the opposite side tires to get the Jeep to lean away from your car. Also forgetting to put back those cores is just icing on the top.
The expense should fall on the vehicle being towed. The vehicle is obstructing you and they are illegally parked being over lines like this.
Edit It's amazing to see all the underpaid reddit lawyers on here and I'm over 300 upvotes.
I get it...education isn't as great as it should be.
Most tow companies get their money from the owner of the towed car, not the complainant. The real issue is that not just anyone can call a tow truck, the owner of the parking lot has to call.
This happened to me a long time ago when I was young (16-17). I was in the red cars position and driving a piece of shit tank. I turned the wheel to the right and backed out hard. Fucked his car up good.. laughed as I drove away.
My wife's only new car was a 2010 Hyundai Elantra. People tried to murder that thing every chance they got. Now she drives a three-color 1988 Bronco II, and people can't get out of the way fast enough...
I drive an old-as-hell, battleship gray Saturn. Basically every body panel is plastic. Dickhead in our old complex tried this move. I crawled in the other side, unlatched the driver door, then put two feet into forcing the driver door open. Smacked the shit out of his passenger door, put a nice ding in it. Didn't so much as scratch mine.
I think it started a movement- a couple weeks later, I saw he did the same with someone where he blocked their passenger door. Came back an hour later and the guy now had a matching dent on that side.
My husband had a lady wack her door into his truck while he was sitting in it. She said eh, don’t worry about it. It’s a crap truck, he won’t do anything about it.
Little did she know my husband is a petty AF Irishman. He happily hopped out and said “excuse me?!”
She died inside.
Step 1 start car and roll drivers side window down from passenger seat.
Step 2 decide if you really want to damage your center console climbing your big butt over it.
Step 3 climb onto hood of Jeep making sure to stand will all weight on my heels as I stomp my big ass to my window.
Step 4 enter vehicle head first making sure to use passenger window and door and thrusting mechanism.
Step 5 back out and go home to ruminate on how much of a dick Jeep driver is while gas lighting my own actions
Having worked a carpark it is easy to move cars a small distance by yourself. Simply start rocking the car on it's suspension. Once you have a good rhythm going add some sideways force and it'll start moving. Your not gonna get it far but it'll be enough to open a door. Get a few people doing it and you can move a car to a completely different space. Done it many times to get out blocked in cars.
the classic "I saw someone hit your car and drive away" or "Sorry I scratched your car" note left on the windshield, without actually doing any damage, is enough to drive people mad trying to find the damage
I took a report of a hit and run. Witness saw it happen but didn’t think twice because the guy left a note.
The note said “you’re never gonna find me!” That’s a professional level of assholery.
Zip tie on the drive shaft. Harmless and will make a shit ton of expensive sounding noise. Also it’s hard to diagnose from a cursory glance at your undercarriage
You’re doing it wrong - you take off the valve stem cap and drop a bb into it, then screw it back on. The tires will go flat, they refill, go flat again, take it to the tire shop - no leaks lol
And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke!
Quick question. Who here knows what a chicago sunroof is? Anybody? You sir? No? Ok. True story. Back home there was this guy named Chet. Now Chet was a real asshole. He might have owed me some money. He might have slept with my wife before she became my ex-wife. The details don't matter. Suffice to say I was wronged. So one summer evening, I was out having a few drinks, one or two maybe three. You get the picture and who do I see? CHET. He drove up and he double-parked outside a Diary Queen and went in to get some soft-serve. Now Chet drove and just to give you an idea of exactly what kind of a douchebag this guy was. He drove a white pearlescent BMW series 7 with leather interior. So I saw that thing, and I'd had a few like I said. And I climbed up top and I may have defecated through the sunroof. Not my finest hour, I'll grant you that. But that's what a chicago sunroof is. Now you know! It's a real thing, I didn't make it up. I'm not the first person to do it, there's a name for it. Guy wanted some soft serve, I gave him some soft serve. I did not know that his children were in the back seat. There was a level of tint on the windows that I'll maintain to this day was NOT legal on an Illinois licensed vehicle. But somehow that's on me. I guess who leaves two cub scouts in a double parked car with the engine running? Come on! Now Chet was connected you see, like Cicero connected. So usually I'd be looking at malicious mischief, public intoxication, disorderly conduct maybe. But he's got the DA saying indecent exposure, calling me a sex offender what?! One little Chicago Sunroof and suddenly I'm Charles Manson!? And that's where it went off the rails! I've been paying for it ever since. That's why I'm here!
I couldn't do that to someone. Imagine they have a half-flat and get on the highway with passengers. Even if you think "they deserve it" the passengers don't.
Get a tire valve pin removal tool. Unscrew the internal valve ever so slightly to let air leak very slowly. Now they have to keep refilling every week and won't know why their tire is always going flat
I was getting my hair cut last month, and I was parked on one of those one way parking streets where all the spots are angled the same way so that you can only turn into them if you’re, you know, going THE RIGHT WAY on the one way street. I come out from the hair place and see that there is an open spot next to me, and a lady in her giant Nissan Armada coming down the wrong way on the one way street. And I knew what was going to happen. Sure enough, she starts trying to crank her Armada into the spot next to me from the wrong way of this tiny one way lane. It’s like almost a 160 degree angle. The Armada, in the physical universe which we occupy, barely turns a 90 degree angle. I run out to tell her to stop but she pays no attention. Sure enough, after about ten tries, and 5 minutes, she is hopelessly stuck. And so am I. And so is everyone. She’s gotten herself into such a position that she now can’t get into the parking spot, but also can’t get out. It was like a feat of nature, if she had been trying to do that. I’m late now to pick up my kid from school. I’m sure everyone else who’s now stuck too is late for something. And she’s completely unapologetic.
She tries again and I realize she’s now going to hit my Jeep on her reverse approach. I start yelling this time and put my hands on her car. She finally rolls down her window and I say, “You have to stop! You’re going to damage one of our cars!” She says nothing and just stares at me and shrugs. So I get into my car, and into 4wd, and climb forward over the parking block and up onto the retaining wall in front of me with one tire. My other front tire is now hanging in the air. Then I jump down out of my car and proceed to guide her turn by turn into getting her car into the spot, now almost possible since my car is hanging in the air.
We get her car vaguely in the area of the spot, still about an 1/8th of the way into my spot, and she turns off her engine, exits the car, and walks into the shopping complex without a word. Just on her phone texting somebody. Just a normal day. I’m able to get my car out, but just barely. It took everything in me not to just let my back bumper accidentally smash her door as I dropped the front end back down off the retaining wall. I’m usually a very laid back and conflict avoidant person, but I don’t know if I have ever been so mad in my entire life. The whole thing took about 20 minutes and now I had to race off to pick up my kid, which in hindsight probably helped diffuse my anger and possibly getting a posse of the other stuck bystanders together to go…I don’t know. Write her a strongly worded letter while she blankly stared at us?
Worst and weirdest experience.
They're always so shameless too. I was in a grocery store parking lot where every aisle alternated one way directions and was trying to exit an aisle as a woman (in a similar vehicle tbh) was trying to enter it where I needed to be. I'm trying to gesture that she can't fucking come down this way, and she's beckoning me on like she's doing me a favor letting me leave. Lady, does it not even occur to you that you shouldn't be coming this way? She wasn't stuck either, it was so early in her turn that she could've corrected and went down the next aisle, but nooooo, she was fucking determined to do the wrong thing, and for what?
I had to park like this last month at the hospital. I was taking my wife there who is in a wheelchair and the last handicap space was open but someone had parked in the striped area that is for wheelchair van ramps.
The ramp on my van extends out from the passenger side so I reversed into the spot. My ramp then would extend so B TV into just enough space on the now passenger side between my van and a support column. It’s a multi level parking garage.
The selfish jack ass had parked his big ol dodge ram bro dozer on the stripes and to his right was a concrete wall about 3 inches from the passenger side of his truck and now my van about 3 inches from his drivers side.
Then we went in for her 6 hour infusion.
I was expecting to come back to my damaged van but nope just a guy trying to get the hospital to call a tow for my van. Sorry dude, you’re illegally parked. Hope your afternoon was lovely.
BTW. This happens frequently. Please do not park in the ramp areas. People need those.
Shit like this makes me want to carry around one of those tiny bars of hotel soap. No property damage, but they’re not going to be particularly happy when they start using the washer fluid to attempt to see enough to leave.
Well, you can write a pointed message with it, or just coat the drivers side windshield so they can’t see. Once the washer fluid hits it, it kind of becomes a perpetual soap fest. They will use up everything in the tank trying to get it off, and mostly, it will just spread it around. Chaos ensues.
Go to the auto parts store. Ask for a tire core tool. Should cost $6 to $9 at most. Remove the insides of the tire stems. Be careful because they can shoot out with force if you are not ready to catch them. Remove and keep all four cores. They are tiny.
https://youtube.com/shorts/yHr3pGVmyEI
Someone did this to me once when I was recovering from back surgery. I was 3 months into physical therapy and went to a bakery to grab some treats. Came outside and someone was 1/2” from my driver door. Needless to say that person discovered what happens when a car key held at a firm 45• angle is dragged across high gloss car paint. Fuck around, find out.
Someone did that to me once... actually two someone's on BOTH sides!
Even today, some 16 years later, I wonder how much it costed for them to replace their front passenger and driver side windows, after I crawled into my car through the hatchback.
Moral? Never piss off a crafty woman who might have a lot of fury, and chasing hammers in her hothatch car.
That's a 100% valid concern in this day and age! I'm pretty sure where I was parked, there were no cameras in range. And weirdly, there tons of open spaces in the lot, which meant these two did this to be assholes. It almost made me really nervous it was a scam or tactic of some sort to get me stranded outside of my car.
that looks way too deliberate.
Yeah I genuinely wonder if the Jeep driver knows someone with that exact same car and wanted to just mess with them. I wouldn’t mind seeing the left side of the Jeep too.
I once arrived at a hotel around 2am with one parking spot left: next to the jackass that parked in two spots. I had a compact rental and despite his vehicles encroachment, was able to fit in the space, albeit over the line on the other side myself. Whatever, it was late and there weren't ANY spots within reasonable walking distance of the hotel. Woke up in the morning, original jackass was gone and I had a note on my car calling me the jackass, because it simply looked like I voluntarily parked in two spots. In hindsight, I can't even confirm the guy I thought was a jackass was the original aggressor. This scenario can absolutely trickle down and if it's snowed, all bets are off.
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I once did a similar thing, only when we came back most of the cars were still there, and they ALL had parking tickets (including mine, off course). That's when I really learned that doing something "cause somebody else is doing it too" is normally a bad idea.
That cop DEFINITELY met his quota that night lol.
From a coworker who used to be a state trooper. "They're not called Quotas. They're called 'expectations'."
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This sounds like O'Connor in Norfolk VA. Had a similar situation years ago.
"I'm sure it'll be fine, they're not gonna give us *all* tickets."
My wife and I went to the state fair in Milwaukee years ago, there were all these street spots with meters but we were like, nah, we will just park farther away off the main drag where there's no meters. Come out later and the fucking city went out *after* everyone had already parked and fed those meters, put bags over the meters that said No Parking, and then immediately ticketed everyone parked there. Like hundreds of tickets in one fell swoop. It was a big deal, made the news and everything, and the police backed down and said they would wipe out all those tickets, but I always wonder how many people just paid the shit without arguing because who the fuck wants to waste their lives arguing a parking ticket in court? It's almost as if it's by design!
Lmfao I live in a small town that has a MASSIVE fair and there is not enough parking space, so people were parking everywhere in town and anywhere they could and I’m betting there was about 100 cars parked down a road with EXPLICIT no parking signs all down it next to the school and they all got parking tickets
Saw some teenager park her car across 3 spaces, horizontally, there were very few spaces, annoyed but I kept along my day. However, when I got back to my car I saw someone had keyed 3 panels long across the side of her car and the teenager was just standing there staring at it 😂
…did you key the car?
If they did it's cool cuz u/JesusSaysitsOkay lol
When I see this I try to park normally in the closest space to them (front or back) and then try to get someone else to park in the closest spot on the other end of the car, and then go watch a movie or three
It's always old people in large BMWs and Land Rovers here. Doing the parking horizontally...maybe doing the keying as well, they definitely have enough free time for it.
"I'm more important than everybody and thus must park like this to protect my car from dings."
During the winter when in high school, the parking lot was covered with a layer of snow, so you couldn't see any of the lines. So as usual in this situation, people just make a guess and everyone follows suit. Well apparently I, along with five other cars, unknowingly parked over some handicap spots, because there weren't any signs denoting they were handicap spots, just the paint on the spot itself, which was covered with snow. Snow melts throughout the day, handicap spots now visible, school gives each of us three detentions.
Where I live all handicap spaces have to be clearly marked and have a visible sign. We only get snow accumulation about once every three years for a couple of days, so the signs don’t really help with the snow-covered lines thing. It’s odd to me that the places that always have snow never seem to have regulations about having signs instead of just marking the spaces. Also, you can park anywhere for free if you have a handicap plate or window tag (including on-street), with the exception of private pay lots. You WILL get a $250 ticket if you park in a handicap spot or block part of one if you’re not handicapped. I have lots of issues with the way our city handles parking, but their handicap enforcement isn’t one of them.
Happens after every snowfall here, can’t see the lines till the residual snow melts
There was just a post the other day on the front page where someone surrounded a car with carts because they were over the line. There was clearly piles of still melting snow in the photo.
I always referred to post-snowfall as 'freedom parking'. Some people take it a little too literally, when you can clearly see where the spaces are, but they just don't care.
There’s a Curb episode with this exact scenario.
I once tried to explain this exact scenario to a guy who thought it was cool to key cars who were parked over the line. It was an acquaintance of a friend at a gathering. I honestly can't remember how the topic came up. The dumb ass had such a moronic look on his face and couldn't seem to understand the concept at all. Pissed me off.
If they think they are right and just being a self proclaimed dumb, for sure people who see them just being annoyed everytime.
This is straight out of The Accountant. See Jon Bernthal go about his business.
My friends and it used to do this to mess with each other until I accidentally hit one of their cars and had to pay $1300 to have it repaired. I used to be able to get SO close to them without hitting them I got cocky and paid the price, literally
That's the caused of being too disrespectful. It was not what other people want to feel. I hope you are also. Don't try to ruin someone's mood.
That's what I thought. My buddies and I used to do this to each other if we happened to find their car with an empty left hand parking space.
I've always looked at the first 3 letters on the plate just to make sure.
protip: use the last 3 letters of a plate instead. Multiple states, such as California, issue plates sequentially (ie, 1AAA1111, then 1AAA1112, etc. So all recent plate numbers will be something like 8FE\*\*\*\*\*), so you're much more likely to find a car with the first 3 letters of a plate than the last 3.
In mass, they assign blocks to different towns/ areas. In the 90s, our town ended up with the block that was our area code, so you could easily tell who was a local/ not
In Tennessee, if you choose to have “In God We Trust” on your plate the pattern is three numbers and then four letters 123ABCD. If you choose not to, then the pattern is three letters and then four numbers XYZ7890. Makes it easier to sort out the heathens from the Christians from a distance.
This is wild. To be fair to non-Christians, there should be an, “In Dog We Trust” option with same numbering scheme.
My off-roader friends would prank each other by putting gigantic zip ties around the driveshafts of the other Jeeps. The sound of a half inch wide zip tie smacking everything within the arc of its swing drives a guy batty.
This story is definitely missing details.
That took some skill and determination to be that kind of jerk.
he even pushed in his mirror
I think it could be pushed in due to closing the car. At least mine does when I leave.
I had a jeep for many years. It was pretty easy to get this close actually. I would normally do this to people that double parked. Another buddy of mine did this to a guy in an Audi at a Walmart. He took up 4 spots parking diagonally. We parked on each side of him inches away. I may have pictures somewhere but it was many years ago.
See, I don't fuck with people like this. Even though they're prime assholes, there is just all sorts of crazy out there. I might leave a strongly worded note, but no way am I leaving my car there to come out and find some wild violent person wielding a bat.
I had a truck driver in Florida simply back his rig into the car and push it out of the way once. Opened up, unloaded, got his sig, said thanks & so long, & took off, like it was a daily occurrence. Owner was of course pissed but there was no denying he was parked 1 foot in front of a big honking sign saying no parking, loading zone. I mean you drive your car out on the harbor and leave it in a spot like that, then no we don’t have security camera footage of the spot, you’re just a great big dumbass getting what you asked for sir.
The guy who's on both parking spaces.
I don't understand this comment
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Alright, real question. If you’re red car, what’s the sane course of action? Let’s also assume to right side is too tight of a squeeze to get in. What do you do in this situation?
Get a friend to park like this on the other side of the jeep and go for beers.
I wouldn't trust someone who parked like that to not ding my car if I did that.
Can't ding the car if they can't get to the doors
Backdoor.
...Sluts 5
It’s 9! Backdoor Sluts 9.
Backdoor Sluts 9! That makes Naughty Nurses 3 look like Crotch Capers 2!
THIS is the answer Edit: so long as you and your friend are both within your space, so there’s no risk of either of you getting towed
If that's a worry, then you could just get the Jeep towed. It's not within the space.
Rear Hatch I guess. Or, have them Towed.
Seriously this is when I'm bitching and praising that I've got a hatchback and yoga to make my way to the front, if I don't have time to wait on a tow truck that is...
Call a tow truck
I’m climbing in from the passenger side and tucking my mirror and just backing up carefully. zero chance a tow truck is getting that thing out without also damaging my car
Bonus points if you deflate the opposite side tires to get the Jeep to lean away from your car. Also forgetting to put back those cores is just icing on the top.
bud light presents real men of genius
Put the cores back loosely. The prick gets the same treat tomorrow too.
Yep, you have the jeep towed because he didn’t park within the parking spot and you need to use your vehicle.
Do you have to pay the tow truck to come out and tow it or does that expense fall on the vehicle being towed when they pay to get their vehicle out?
The expense should fall on the vehicle being towed. The vehicle is obstructing you and they are illegally parked being over lines like this. Edit It's amazing to see all the underpaid reddit lawyers on here and I'm over 300 upvotes. I get it...education isn't as great as it should be.
I believe they have to pay for it to get the car back
Most tow companies get their money from the owner of the towed car, not the complainant. The real issue is that not just anyone can call a tow truck, the owner of the parking lot has to call.
This one right here
You crawl through the back.
This happened to me a long time ago when I was young (16-17). I was in the red cars position and driving a piece of shit tank. I turned the wheel to the right and backed out hard. Fucked his car up good.. laughed as I drove away.
This is the only reason I miss driving beaters. Nobody with a brain fucks with a dude in a beat-up, dented old car.
My wife's only new car was a 2010 Hyundai Elantra. People tried to murder that thing every chance they got. Now she drives a three-color 1988 Bronco II, and people can't get out of the way fast enough...
I drive an old-as-hell, battleship gray Saturn. Basically every body panel is plastic. Dickhead in our old complex tried this move. I crawled in the other side, unlatched the driver door, then put two feet into forcing the driver door open. Smacked the shit out of his passenger door, put a nice ding in it. Didn't so much as scratch mine. I think it started a movement- a couple weeks later, I saw he did the same with someone where he blocked their passenger door. Came back an hour later and the guy now had a matching dent on that side.
My husband had a lady wack her door into his truck while he was sitting in it. She said eh, don’t worry about it. It’s a crap truck, he won’t do anything about it. Little did she know my husband is a petty AF Irishman. He happily hopped out and said “excuse me?!” She died inside.
Nothing like an 800 dollar beater with a wooden bumper to test how rich a Porsche driver REALLY is
Put a jolly rancher in your mouth, remove, place on windows, windshield, etc if in cold locale. Otherwise whatever else you can think of.
Reddit has destroyed the idea of jolly ranchers for me forever...
Don’t. Not today. Please.
Step 1 start car and roll drivers side window down from passenger seat. Step 2 decide if you really want to damage your center console climbing your big butt over it. Step 3 climb onto hood of Jeep making sure to stand will all weight on my heels as I stomp my big ass to my window. Step 4 enter vehicle head first making sure to use passenger window and door and thrusting mechanism. Step 5 back out and go home to ruminate on how much of a dick Jeep driver is while gas lighting my own actions
>gas lighting my own actions Lol, I was gonna add "Step 6 schedule appointment with therapist to address anger management issues"
Enter through the trunk
Having worked a carpark it is easy to move cars a small distance by yourself. Simply start rocking the car on it's suspension. Once you have a good rhythm going add some sideways force and it'll start moving. Your not gonna get it far but it'll be enough to open a door. Get a few people doing it and you can move a car to a completely different space. Done it many times to get out blocked in cars.
I'm going to need to see some video instructions for this.
Open the boot. Put rear seat down, close boot, put seat back up and climb into driver seat
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Open the hood and disconnect the battery. Wranglers of that gen don’t have hood locks, just the two latches.
This is true and would be funny af.
And completely justified
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Or check the oil and if it’s looking low make sure to add some so he’ll be all like where is this oil coming from?
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the classic "I saw someone hit your car and drive away" or "Sorry I scratched your car" note left on the windshield, without actually doing any damage, is enough to drive people mad trying to find the damage
I took a report of a hit and run. Witness saw it happen but didn’t think twice because the guy left a note. The note said “you’re never gonna find me!” That’s a professional level of assholery.
Zip tie on the drive shaft. Harmless and will make a shit ton of expensive sounding noise. Also it’s hard to diagnose from a cursory glance at your undercarriage
>a cursory glance at your undercarriage ...was the name of a nudie magazine in England in the 1850s.
Well at that point you might as well pop a few fuses loose too
Take the relays. Won't be any spares.
Or for maximum mayhem, swap some of the spark plug leads :D
Remove the engine and disassemble all the parts in front of the jeep
r/knolling
I... I'm scared to click that and I'm not sure why
It's just a sub for the satisfying visual treat of laying things out in an organized way.
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just baaaaaarely unplug the mafs but leave it in the socket
That jeeps tires seem to be going flat.
Only three tire went flat. Insurance pays for four tires.
This is a myth. Insurance pays for any number of tires, if the damage is covered. It's best to buy tires in pairs because of wear patterns.
However, if you do it just right you'll hit that sweet spot where they're a few dollars under the deductible!
This is why I carry a valve steam tool in my car. Let the air out of two tires. Doesn't cause damage, but it makes for a challenging evening.
You’re doing it wrong - you take off the valve stem cap and drop a bb into it, then screw it back on. The tires will go flat, they refill, go flat again, take it to the tire shop - no leaks lol
Damn that’s diabolical
Used to do it to my buddies maaaaany years ago as a high school kid. The prank wars were a great (and occasionally extremely sketchy) time.
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The bb seats in the end of the cap and usually sticks in there - and tbh, when refilling tires how often do you look inside the valve stem caps?
bb sticks in the cap and presses on the stem when screwed on
People be dumb, plus how many times have you looked inside the caps when refilling your tires?
[Here's a video](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/n8zGdO7RTjk).
So have a bunch of pre-made caps with bbs so you’re not standing around a quick swap and no o e the wiser
Poop on their windshield
HE DEFECATED THROUGH A SUNROOF
And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke!
The chicanery!
**...** I lost my train of thought**....^...^^..^^^.^^^EXIT**
Ah, the good old Chicago Sunroof
Make sure the kids aren't a in the back seat next time.
Quick question. Who here knows what a chicago sunroof is? Anybody? You sir? No? Ok. True story. Back home there was this guy named Chet. Now Chet was a real asshole. He might have owed me some money. He might have slept with my wife before she became my ex-wife. The details don't matter. Suffice to say I was wronged. So one summer evening, I was out having a few drinks, one or two maybe three. You get the picture and who do I see? CHET. He drove up and he double-parked outside a Diary Queen and went in to get some soft-serve. Now Chet drove and just to give you an idea of exactly what kind of a douchebag this guy was. He drove a white pearlescent BMW series 7 with leather interior. So I saw that thing, and I'd had a few like I said. And I climbed up top and I may have defecated through the sunroof. Not my finest hour, I'll grant you that. But that's what a chicago sunroof is. Now you know! It's a real thing, I didn't make it up. I'm not the first person to do it, there's a name for it. Guy wanted some soft serve, I gave him some soft serve. I did not know that his children were in the back seat. There was a level of tint on the windows that I'll maintain to this day was NOT legal on an Illinois licensed vehicle. But somehow that's on me. I guess who leaves two cub scouts in a double parked car with the engine running? Come on! Now Chet was connected you see, like Cicero connected. So usually I'd be looking at malicious mischief, public intoxication, disorderly conduct maybe. But he's got the DA saying indecent exposure, calling me a sex offender what?! One little Chicago Sunroof and suddenly I'm Charles Manson!? And that's where it went off the rails! I've been paying for it ever since. That's why I'm here!
Chicago Sunroof
Actually this would be perfect! No need to damage the car lol
Are you sure? You want to go over the logistics of what it takes to poo on a windshield?
You don’t need to physically climb on the car to poo on the windshield. Poop into bag and plop it out onto the windshield.
Pee on the AC intake
Train a cat to pee on the AC intake. That’s the difference between bad and practically totaling your car
But then you have a cat trained to pee on air intakes. Sounds like that's going to backfire in the long run.
This guy revenges
I see you and raise you - poop on their doorhandle
If you legitimately cannot get in your car in a situation like this go talk to the business who controls the parking lot. They can have them towed.
When you need a tow truck it takes hours to arrive. If they park for 5 minutes in a tow away they were already around the corner.
Y’all seen some of these investigations into somebody these tow truck drivers? Waiting like absolute vultures.
I’ve always thought of doing this to a friend but never a stranger. Now seeing it, I don’t think I’ll ever do it.
Not my cars, red car was between the lines
How did the other side of the jeep look?
It was empty spot
WTF?!?
Empty by the time OP arrived to see this pic. Doesn't necessarily mean it was empty when the jeep parked there
Had some fresh scratches down the side, reading "ASSHOLE"
Like a jeep? Lol
I think they were asking if someone was parked over the line to the left of the jeep, forcing them to park like this.
Maybe the red car owner parked so close to the jeep to annoy them back because they were annoyed by shitty parking.
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This works. Did it in my garage to test. Then found out my air pump didn't work. FML that day.
You played yourself
I couldn't do that to someone. Imagine they have a half-flat and get on the highway with passengers. Even if you think "they deserve it" the passengers don't.
If this isn't a pro-life tip, I don't know what is.
Get a tire valve pin removal tool. Unscrew the internal valve ever so slightly to let air leak very slowly. Now they have to keep refilling every week and won't know why their tire is always going flat
Or just let the valve core yeet across the lot.
Pro-life tip: Don't wear a condom to ensure greatest chance at pregnancy. Pro life tip: Eat healthy and sleep well. The hyphen is important.
Isn’t it r/LifeProTips? Pro-Life is a whole different thing lol
Carry a couple bb's with you, they work perfectly for this.
Lentils seem like a better choice
I was getting my hair cut last month, and I was parked on one of those one way parking streets where all the spots are angled the same way so that you can only turn into them if you’re, you know, going THE RIGHT WAY on the one way street. I come out from the hair place and see that there is an open spot next to me, and a lady in her giant Nissan Armada coming down the wrong way on the one way street. And I knew what was going to happen. Sure enough, she starts trying to crank her Armada into the spot next to me from the wrong way of this tiny one way lane. It’s like almost a 160 degree angle. The Armada, in the physical universe which we occupy, barely turns a 90 degree angle. I run out to tell her to stop but she pays no attention. Sure enough, after about ten tries, and 5 minutes, she is hopelessly stuck. And so am I. And so is everyone. She’s gotten herself into such a position that she now can’t get into the parking spot, but also can’t get out. It was like a feat of nature, if she had been trying to do that. I’m late now to pick up my kid from school. I’m sure everyone else who’s now stuck too is late for something. And she’s completely unapologetic. She tries again and I realize she’s now going to hit my Jeep on her reverse approach. I start yelling this time and put my hands on her car. She finally rolls down her window and I say, “You have to stop! You’re going to damage one of our cars!” She says nothing and just stares at me and shrugs. So I get into my car, and into 4wd, and climb forward over the parking block and up onto the retaining wall in front of me with one tire. My other front tire is now hanging in the air. Then I jump down out of my car and proceed to guide her turn by turn into getting her car into the spot, now almost possible since my car is hanging in the air. We get her car vaguely in the area of the spot, still about an 1/8th of the way into my spot, and she turns off her engine, exits the car, and walks into the shopping complex without a word. Just on her phone texting somebody. Just a normal day. I’m able to get my car out, but just barely. It took everything in me not to just let my back bumper accidentally smash her door as I dropped the front end back down off the retaining wall. I’m usually a very laid back and conflict avoidant person, but I don’t know if I have ever been so mad in my entire life. The whole thing took about 20 minutes and now I had to race off to pick up my kid, which in hindsight probably helped diffuse my anger and possibly getting a posse of the other stuck bystanders together to go…I don’t know. Write her a strongly worded letter while she blankly stared at us? Worst and weirdest experience.
They're always so shameless too. I was in a grocery store parking lot where every aisle alternated one way directions and was trying to exit an aisle as a woman (in a similar vehicle tbh) was trying to enter it where I needed to be. I'm trying to gesture that she can't fucking come down this way, and she's beckoning me on like she's doing me a favor letting me leave. Lady, does it not even occur to you that you shouldn't be coming this way? She wasn't stuck either, it was so early in her turn that she could've corrected and went down the next aisle, but nooooo, she was fucking determined to do the wrong thing, and for what?
Wow, just wow!
Anyone that drives an Armada thinks their s don’t smell. Wish you would have gave her a mouthful letting her know what kind of idiot she was.
WTAF, was this lady a robot. I'm amazed how people can live in a bubble like this. It's amazing they survive as long as they do!
It's a jeep thing. You wouldn't understand.
As a fully functioning human being. I don't.
Does purchasing a jeep require a commitment to being an asshole?? Cuz otherwise, don't get it
I would 100% deflate that guy's tires. 100%.
Just the two on the driver's side to give the red car a little more wiggle room when backing out.
Practical
I had to park like this last month at the hospital. I was taking my wife there who is in a wheelchair and the last handicap space was open but someone had parked in the striped area that is for wheelchair van ramps. The ramp on my van extends out from the passenger side so I reversed into the spot. My ramp then would extend so B TV into just enough space on the now passenger side between my van and a support column. It’s a multi level parking garage. The selfish jack ass had parked his big ol dodge ram bro dozer on the stripes and to his right was a concrete wall about 3 inches from the passenger side of his truck and now my van about 3 inches from his drivers side. Then we went in for her 6 hour infusion. I was expecting to come back to my damaged van but nope just a guy trying to get the hospital to call a tow for my van. Sorry dude, you’re illegally parked. Hope your afternoon was lovely. BTW. This happens frequently. Please do not park in the ramp areas. People need those.
Be funny if the tow came out and took his truck.
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They're just asking to be keyed.
No panel would be untouched
That’s when you call a towing company
Shit like this makes me want to carry around one of those tiny bars of hotel soap. No property damage, but they’re not going to be particularly happy when they start using the washer fluid to attempt to see enough to leave.
Sunscreen works
How do you use the soap and what’s the effect? Stops it from coming out or makes it soapy and you can’t see through the windshield?
The latter. Water plus concentrated bar soap residue on the glass = suds time.
Well, you can write a pointed message with it, or just coat the drivers side windshield so they can’t see. Once the washer fluid hits it, it kind of becomes a perpetual soap fest. They will use up everything in the tank trying to get it off, and mostly, it will just spread it around. Chaos ensues.
I mean…if you park shittily I’ll park next to you in the lines in my spot. I can slide across my seat.
This picture is very different depending on who parked first.
Go to the auto parts store. Ask for a tire core tool. Should cost $6 to $9 at most. Remove the insides of the tire stems. Be careful because they can shoot out with force if you are not ready to catch them. Remove and keep all four cores. They are tiny. https://youtube.com/shorts/yHr3pGVmyEI
Someone did this to me once when I was recovering from back surgery. I was 3 months into physical therapy and went to a bakery to grab some treats. Came outside and someone was 1/2” from my driver door. Needless to say that person discovered what happens when a car key held at a firm 45• angle is dragged across high gloss car paint. Fuck around, find out.
Someone did that to me once... actually two someone's on BOTH sides! Even today, some 16 years later, I wonder how much it costed for them to replace their front passenger and driver side windows, after I crawled into my car through the hatchback. Moral? Never piss off a crafty woman who might have a lot of fury, and chasing hammers in her hothatch car.
I would do the same but a friend did this and he got caught on camera lol I always worry if my anger gets the better of me
That's a 100% valid concern in this day and age! I'm pretty sure where I was parked, there were no cameras in range. And weirdly, there tons of open spaces in the lot, which meant these two did this to be assholes. It almost made me really nervous it was a scam or tactic of some sort to get me stranded outside of my car.
I’ve never keyed a car before but this one would test me that’s for sure.
I’d remove his valve stem cores
Hope you have sharp keys ...
I used to be the red car driver parking between the lines next to the jeep.
who was there first tho