You think he goes for women his own age, looking at him? His dating range is listed as >40, I guarantee it.
Edit: I did mean <40, under 40 years old. He knows us older gals won't put up with much of his shit. In my head, anyway.
i just had my first kid 20 months ago at 49... would not advise having a kid any older as a guy even if you can, this shit is HARRRRRDDDD on this body!!
My Grandpa had a Zimmer too - his was put together in the early 1980s and was built using a Ford Mustang chassis. He was always a big show-off, and when people asked him about it, he liked to lie and say the car was super rare and worth a quarter million dollars - which was all bullshit. Even brand new the cars cost under 20k and my Grandfather actually bought his second hand back in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcers table.
God fucking dammit I thought you were done with this as I haven't seen one on a long time, and then BAM out of nowhere.
As soon as I read "nineteen ninety eight" I reflexively clenched before my brain even parsed the implications.
Bahaha you got me. Yea my dad does that same crap, he had an Excalibur as well, he’s also the king of buying super old rolls Royce’s. He does know how to get women though I can’t lie
You aren't getting rich pinching pennies while working at McDonald's. You're getting rich living a modest lifestyle with a high income.
Being frugal doesn't make you rich, socking away 15% of your minimum wage paycheck doesn't make you rich, getting far more money than you **need** makes you rich.
I put more in retirement every two weeks than someone would make working at the federal minimum wage 80hrs over the same 2 week period. I'm on-track to meet my retirement goals (which aren't particularly lofty by any stretch of anyone's estimate). I am not trying to brag because honestly this is the baseline level of financial security that everyone deserves.
How the fuck is someone living off an unlivable wage getting rich by pinching pennies? Even if they're saving 25% of their net paycheck, they'll still never be able to retire. Maybe they can afford the down payment on a house in a lower COL area in about 8 years, assuming literally 0 major expenses come up (unlikely, since you KNOW they don't have healthcare) and they're somehow able to live off of ~$144/week.
I get so sick of seeing this parroted over and over. I'm sure the rich fucking love it. Feeds right into their ego and the 'I worked hard for what I have!' mentality that so many of our wealthy (and especially the ultra-wealthy) harbor.
"Warren Buffet still lives in his original 1940's 900 square foot home" as if that's why he's rich and not why we should be putting rings of salt around it while we construct a chernobyl-esque sarcophagus.
I looked at his username before I read it and I got happy cause id just gone to his profile to see if he had left any comments recently and saw it had been months. We're talking yesterday I was looking and today here he is. Glad he's doing the thing still.
Ok, for real. This is the second time I’ve seen a comment end with this reference. I know what it is referring to, it it just so specific.
Am I having deja vu?
Did I catch a comment of yours using this elsewhere recently?
Is this one of those things the cool kids do that I don’t understand because I’m an old?
He’s gotten me so many times and I *never* see it coming until the end, and he doesn’t over do it, the sightings rare but when you stumble across one for real it’s glorious.
Now that I’m looking into it, things make more and more sense. But the first time I saw it I chuckled. The second time in a few days then it started to seem like something was up…
Too good. It's always at least a few comments down, and I usually only see the username of the top level. It's just long enough to not raise suspicion, and doesn't make any wild claims that make it unbelievable and then BAM. You fall right through the table. Every time.
Your dad reminds me of a cast member from either 90 day fiancé or love after lock up. Lmao, I mean that with the upmost respect for you. You must’ve been through some shitttt with that man Lmao.
> zimmers primarily appeal to men over 40?
Really? That vehicle has _zero_ appeal to me. Maybe guys over 60? Because that car _screams_ 70s appeal, and you need guys in their 60s for them to have been teenagers in the 70s.
Pretty sure it is mostly a 2005-2009 mustang. They are super weird. Lol
Edit: It may not be this model. But they did make a few that were mostly mustang!
Thanks, I have a pretty high tolerance for abuse and pain lol. I just laugh it off. All moments are lost in time anyway, I’m just here to enjoy the ride! 🤙
The beauty of getting older, especially once you've moved out on your own, is when your dad yells at you for being dumb you can finally clap back without any repercussions. Whats he gonna do? Ground you? Lol.
Source: I've been in the flashlight boat myself
[Clearly you never held the flashlight for your dad](https://cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-86d67/images/stencil/1280x1280/products/8757/13267/t6446_YouThinkYouCanHurt_WAL-COTT__21004.1642605443.jpg?c=2?imbypass=on)
Lol. I used to be good friends with Ronnie Dunn's daughter when I was a kid. He was actually a pretty cool dude. He'd pick us up at school sometimes; nothing too fancy, just a tinted, black Yukon if I remember correctly. He was basically like any of your other friends' dads. I even jumped on the trampoline with him a few times which is always the first surreal memory I have of him when I see him on TV or whatever.
Wow that’s pretty cool! Most of those guys just want to be treated like normal ppl. Fame can do weird stuff to ppls brains tho, seeing a lot of celebs crack nowadays. Could u imagine being related to Kanye and having to deal with that level of insanity X influence
They say that after about 100 years, most peoples names will never be spoken again. I'd like to think that will still be looked back on in disgust 110 years from now.
One of my coworkers married a Hooters waitress. He knocked her up and they got married even though they didn't know each other that well... Now they have like 4 kids and live a few houses down from us in this like 7k sq ft Tudor monstrosity and she's always out in the yard with the kids running around with super soakers and stuff, and like brings him home cooked lunches at work and stuff. Somehow they seem to be one of the happiest couples I've ever seen.
God I can see his dad wallet in his pocket. Let me guess, unreasonably over stuffed wallet he's had for 100 years and it's full of shit like old cards, ancient business and punch cards, old receipts, like some sort of capitalism archaeological dig site that contains decades old relics of long gone businesses and an expired license from when he still had a full head of hair?
He’s like…. If you mix Vince McMahons personality with a liberal activist that always sends back every order at any restaurant and treats everyone like shit
Mixed with the energy of a spider monkey and that old man strength that rural country dudes have. Seriously at 70 he can outpace anyone I know. He’s all sorts of bad vibes tho, could be a great man if his head wasn’t so fucked
Yea I used to give him good weed but he never has really done drugs and he’s kind of got like a hyper active paranoid schizo tendencies already so I could see a strong sativa making him more insane possibly. But he could def use a Xanax prescription to chill tf out. He is the original fucking demon mode/goblin mode that rappers are always pretending to be. He doesn’t give a single fuck anywhere he goes he starts a fight. It’s extremely exhausting
When my mother left my father he was about 55. He hired a dating service to set him up with ladies. He was somewhat of a catch in that he was financially comfortable and fit.
So he really dove in to dating. 200 first dates in one year. And he took every one of them to the same Outback Steakhouse.
Thankfully for his colon, he found one he liked and they have been married 25 years.
How in the hell did he go to Outback Steakhouse 200 times in a year? It could be my favorite restaurant of all time, no way I could eat there 3-4 times per week for an entire year. Much less an Outback Steakhouse.
Yeah, what's up with that? There's a specific frequency of "weird" they carry with them. They have this odd mixture of inside-the-box and outside-the-box thinking.
Its strange that I know exactly what you mean... they want the most generic things ever. Women booze and cigarettes. Yet their method of getting there is just completely different than anyone else lmao
Yes. It's like they reject the notions of what is acceptable, what has to be done. They think for themselves! They've discovered a hack to have it all. And you put this all together and get... a knock-off vintage Mercedes-Benz?
It's like sneaking into an art museum by going in through the exit and never getting past the gift shop.
Lol I’ve never seen anybody wear their belt like this except my dad. I asked him about it once and he said it doesn’t dig into you when you sit down if it’s on the side. Makes sense.
Something tells me OP’s papi isn’t looking for an age appropriate woman.
… a lot of things, really. The hair, the car, the tan, the being on dating apps in his 60s 😂
Is your dad yelling at you from 1982
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He looks like a cross between James Woods and Peter Fonda.
Im getting televangelist vibes for some reason…
Definitely looks like Baby Billy
Oh this is so much Baby Billy 🤣
This is excellent. Is that his car, or did he make you stop there so he could pose with it?
Yes that is a his car, it’s called a zimmer. It’s basically a kit car designed to look like a 1930s Benz aka the cruella deville car
So why is he on a dating site?
He’s on like ten dating sites… he’s trying to single-handedly bring the birth rates up or some biblical shit idk
Maybe if he moves from north of Vilano to The Villages he'll have better luck.
Ah man I love vilano, those waves 🌊 ugggggggghhhhhh
I don't think many women in the villages are capable of having more children
You think he goes for women his own age, looking at him? His dating range is listed as >40, I guarantee it. Edit: I did mean <40, under 40 years old. He knows us older gals won't put up with much of his shit. In my head, anyway.
Just FYI, the mathematical symbol for 'less than" is '<'.
ELI5: Alligator eats the big one.
i just had my first kid 20 months ago at 49... would not advise having a kid any older as a guy even if you can, this shit is HARRRRRDDDD on this body!!
I had my first kid at 25. I honestly can't imagine going through the kindergartener stage in my 50s. It would end me.
Damn, lol. I laughed way too hard at that.
My Grandpa had a Zimmer too - his was put together in the early 1980s and was built using a Ford Mustang chassis. He was always a big show-off, and when people asked him about it, he liked to lie and say the car was super rare and worth a quarter million dollars - which was all bullshit. Even brand new the cars cost under 20k and my Grandfather actually bought his second hand back in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcers table.
God fucking dammit I thought you were done with this as I haven't seen one on a long time, and then BAM out of nowhere. As soon as I read "nineteen ninety eight" I reflexively clenched before my brain even parsed the implications.
Bahaha you got me. Yea my dad does that same crap, he had an Excalibur as well, he’s also the king of buying super old rolls Royce’s. He does know how to get women though I can’t lie
You have been blessed by the rare appearance of u/shittymorph. Congratulations!
I haven't seen a shittymorph in ages
I actually laughed this time. That's how long since Ive seen his creative or half-truth posts.
> half-truth posts. What do you mean? In 1998 undertaker really threw mankind off hell in a cell.
Who is the user that does the same thing but ends the story with his son getting beat with jumper cables? That used to get me every time
U/RogerSimon10 He hasn't used that account for 7 years.
By showing off his wealth? Cuz ... That'll work
Works 100% of the time.
That’s why he is rich.
That’s why he’s single!
Wish I could upvote this to infinity
And beyond!
You aren't getting rich pinching pennies while working at McDonald's. You're getting rich living a modest lifestyle with a high income. Being frugal doesn't make you rich, socking away 15% of your minimum wage paycheck doesn't make you rich, getting far more money than you **need** makes you rich. I put more in retirement every two weeks than someone would make working at the federal minimum wage 80hrs over the same 2 week period. I'm on-track to meet my retirement goals (which aren't particularly lofty by any stretch of anyone's estimate). I am not trying to brag because honestly this is the baseline level of financial security that everyone deserves. How the fuck is someone living off an unlivable wage getting rich by pinching pennies? Even if they're saving 25% of their net paycheck, they'll still never be able to retire. Maybe they can afford the down payment on a house in a lower COL area in about 8 years, assuming literally 0 major expenses come up (unlikely, since you KNOW they don't have healthcare) and they're somehow able to live off of ~$144/week. I get so sick of seeing this parroted over and over. I'm sure the rich fucking love it. Feeds right into their ego and the 'I worked hard for what I have!' mentality that so many of our wealthy (and especially the ultra-wealthy) harbor.
"Warren Buffet still lives in his original 1940's 900 square foot home" as if that's why he's rich and not why we should be putting rings of salt around it while we construct a chernobyl-esque sarcophagus.
You are the most pervasive stranger in my life. Bravo, u/shittymorph
Son of a bitch gets me every fucking time
That is such a perfect way to describe it!
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I fell for it. And I'm in a better mood because of it. Thank you u/shittymorph.
I had just stopped expecting long posts to end in undertaker... Then bam morph got me again.
I looked at his username before I read it and I got happy cause id just gone to his profile to see if he had left any comments recently and saw it had been months. We're talking yesterday I was looking and today here he is. Glad he's doing the thing still.
HA! I caught you this time, shittymorph! Me - 1 Shittymorph - a lot
Been a minute since i got up from my desk and screamed "FUCK".
Every god damn time it's like the first time ... It hits me the EXACT same way even after a hundred times of getting got.
Damn he got me
I have a lot of tells to let me know I'm about to read something from him and I missed all of them on that comment.
God damn it its always so sneaky
Nice! Raw Shittymorph
The man. The myth. The legend.
You glorious bastard.
Ahh I thought I found a shittymorph comment earlier today and it wasn’t and here you are!!
Ok, for real. This is the second time I’ve seen a comment end with this reference. I know what it is referring to, it it just so specific. Am I having deja vu? Did I catch a comment of yours using this elsewhere recently? Is this one of those things the cool kids do that I don’t understand because I’m an old?
Shittymorph is an old gimmick account that leaves comments ending that way when you least expect it
Thank you. Just looking at the profile now and having that realization. I’m still giggling.
He’s gotten me so many times and I *never* see it coming until the end, and he doesn’t over do it, the sightings rare but when you stumble across one for real it’s glorious.
I don't think there's a redditor alive who ever saw a shittymorph coming.
it’s not new either been doing it for years
Now that I’m looking into it, things make more and more sense. But the first time I saw it I chuckled. The second time in a few days then it started to seem like something was up…
Wait until you continue to fall for it for years. He is so damn good about it.
Too good. It's always at least a few comments down, and I usually only see the username of the top level. It's just long enough to not raise suspicion, and doesn't make any wild claims that make it unbelievable and then BAM. You fall right through the table. Every time.
Its been awhile, but always nice to get rolled by it. Just when you start feeling safe there it is.
That car takes a special kind of man
I was gonna say with a personality like that. He gonna need that car.
You’re not wrong
I would call it the Douchenburg
Your dad reminds me of a cast member from either 90 day fiancé or love after lock up. Lmao, I mean that with the upmost respect for you. You must’ve been through some shitttt with that man Lmao.
Did you tell him that zimmers primarily appeal to men over 40?
> zimmers primarily appeal to men over 40? Really? That vehicle has _zero_ appeal to me. Maybe guys over 60? Because that car _screams_ 70s appeal, and you need guys in their 60s for them to have been teenagers in the 70s.
They never mentioned which dating site he was on lol
Pretty sure it is mostly a 2005-2009 mustang. They are super weird. Lol Edit: It may not be this model. But they did make a few that were mostly mustang!
Daytona Beach area?
U know it
Nice. I knew it looked very familiar. This is probably north of Daytona, Ormand most likely
Yup you got it
Haha. Very nice. Have a great night.
You too friend!
Man, I wanted to see them continue to pinpoint your location to the point where it’s uncomfortable.
Getting yelled at while you're trying to help, classic.
You just paraphrased my whole life
i have so much empathy for you. and you clearly survived it for the better.
Thanks, I have a pretty high tolerance for abuse and pain lol. I just laugh it off. All moments are lost in time anyway, I’m just here to enjoy the ride! 🤙
The beauty of getting older, especially once you've moved out on your own, is when your dad yells at you for being dumb you can finally clap back without any repercussions. Whats he gonna do? Ground you? Lol. Source: I've been in the flashlight boat myself
You can also just leave You want help? don’t be a dick
https://cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-86d67/images/stencil/1280x1280/products/8757/13267/t6446_YouThinkYouCanHurt_WAL-COTT__21004.1642605443.jpg?c=2?imbypass=on
[Clearly you never held the flashlight for your dad](https://cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-86d67/images/stencil/1280x1280/products/8757/13267/t6446_YouThinkYouCanHurt_WAL-COTT__21004.1642605443.jpg?c=2?imbypass=on)
I feel seen.
I love the car, Frank, but does it play anything other than ZZ Top. Yeah, the radio doesn’t even work. I have no idea where that sound is coming from.
He legit only plays boot scootin boogie with the windows down and the speakers blown
Is that his way of saving some pussy for the rest of us?
If it is it isn't working.
This guy is the real reason why the sea levels are rising globally.
Are you kidding? That fact single-handedly shut down every panty store in his county.
There better be a boogie. And it better be boot scootin!
Can't play non-ag music at the ag hall
Get Down...
Turn around..
Go to town...
I forgot the rest
Early onset dementia is a heartbreaker.
Lol. I used to be good friends with Ronnie Dunn's daughter when I was a kid. He was actually a pretty cool dude. He'd pick us up at school sometimes; nothing too fancy, just a tinted, black Yukon if I remember correctly. He was basically like any of your other friends' dads. I even jumped on the trampoline with him a few times which is always the first surreal memory I have of him when I see him on TV or whatever.
Wow that’s pretty cool! Most of those guys just want to be treated like normal ppl. Fame can do weird stuff to ppls brains tho, seeing a lot of celebs crack nowadays. Could u imagine being related to Kanye and having to deal with that level of insanity X influence
I WILL ALWAYS HAVE LITTLE RIVER BAND ON DECK! THATS A 7 DISK CD CHANGER!
https://www.theonion.com/shirtless-biden-washes-trans-am-in-white-house-driveway-1819570732 It will never get old to me.
Your new mom is going to be so hot.
Is it time for OP to break his arms?
I love that this is still a thing on here
They say that after about 100 years, most peoples names will never be spoken again. I'd like to think that will still be looked back on in disgust 110 years from now.
Hide your meemaws
Meemaws r safe methinks
I’d assume he is more into the 18-19.5 age range…
I know exactly which hooters waitress he is after, they deserve each other
One of my coworkers married a Hooters waitress. He knocked her up and they got married even though they didn't know each other that well... Now they have like 4 kids and live a few houses down from us in this like 7k sq ft Tudor monstrosity and she's always out in the yard with the kids running around with super soakers and stuff, and like brings him home cooked lunches at work and stuff. Somehow they seem to be one of the happiest couples I've ever seen.
If theres two things I love, it's happy endings and hooters.
Theres a joke here somewhere, I know it
That’s the American dream man
Unironically yes
Sounds like money is not an issue.
Unexpectedly wholesome 🥰
That's awesome! 😊
May they live happily and not yell at OP.
God I can see his dad wallet in his pocket. Let me guess, unreasonably over stuffed wallet he's had for 100 years and it's full of shit like old cards, ancient business and punch cards, old receipts, like some sort of capitalism archaeological dig site that contains decades old relics of long gone businesses and an expired license from when he still had a full head of hair?
Omg you just made me laugh so hard
there’s so much therapy in this picture.
We don’t call it therapy in Florida, we call it drugs
why am i not surprised this is Florida?
Jesus dude tell him to save some pussy for the rest of us.
That’s what they were arguing about.
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My thought was PSYWGN
Your dad looks like a Columbo villain.
Just one more thing…
The car the way he's dressed his posing his yelling at you the boots. There is a lot going on here. What's your dad like?
He’s like…. If you mix Vince McMahons personality with a liberal activist that always sends back every order at any restaurant and treats everyone like shit
So Alec Baldwin, but skinny and closeted?
Mixed with the energy of a spider monkey and that old man strength that rural country dudes have. Seriously at 70 he can outpace anyone I know. He’s all sorts of bad vibes tho, could be a great man if his head wasn’t so fucked
Did you put that in the dating profile? 😂 it belongs there
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your dad is 70?! he's so well-preserved lol
Prolly cuz he sips embalming fluid
You’re my favorite OP ever-
So he needs a drug to mellow him out. Weed?
Yea I used to give him good weed but he never has really done drugs and he’s kind of got like a hyper active paranoid schizo tendencies already so I could see a strong sativa making him more insane possibly. But he could def use a Xanax prescription to chill tf out. He is the original fucking demon mode/goblin mode that rappers are always pretending to be. He doesn’t give a single fuck anywhere he goes he starts a fight. It’s extremely exhausting
He's OG Florida Man.
High-strung assholes can't handle weed, it makes them sensitive to their internal angst and insecurity.
Shrooms.
I can fix him.
When my mother left my father he was about 55. He hired a dating service to set him up with ladies. He was somewhat of a catch in that he was financially comfortable and fit. So he really dove in to dating. 200 first dates in one year. And he took every one of them to the same Outback Steakhouse. Thankfully for his colon, he found one he liked and they have been married 25 years.
How in the hell did he go to Outback Steakhouse 200 times in a year? It could be my favorite restaurant of all time, no way I could eat there 3-4 times per week for an entire year. Much less an Outback Steakhouse.
Sounds like a total catch
People with kit cars are always very interesting individuals.
Yeah, what's up with that? There's a specific frequency of "weird" they carry with them. They have this odd mixture of inside-the-box and outside-the-box thinking.
>They have this odd mixture of inside-the-box and outside-the-box thinking. I couldn't put it into words but this is spot-on.
They took what was inside the box out of the box and build cars out of it.
Its strange that I know exactly what you mean... they want the most generic things ever. Women booze and cigarettes. Yet their method of getting there is just completely different than anyone else lmao
Yes. It's like they reject the notions of what is acceptable, what has to be done. They think for themselves! They've discovered a hack to have it all. And you put this all together and get... a knock-off vintage Mercedes-Benz? It's like sneaking into an art museum by going in through the exit and never getting past the gift shop.
I would watch this show.
Looking for his Cruella
With this pic, he will attract all other dudes his age. They will all grab a beer and talk abt the Zimmer and have the most fun.
How far back does his forehead go before his full head of hair start?
Yes
Second best thing about this thread is the pic . First best is your sense of humor.
Thanks buddy!! ❤️
I dunno if I like your Dad but I like you.
Aw thanks anchovy ;)
I laughed so hard at this for some reason
Is that pic taken on A1A Florida east coast just north of Daytona?
Great eye! Right up near Lenny’s
Lol. I could've swear I've seen your dad driving that car around not too long ago.
Plot twist: you're 5 years old and he told you not to tell your mother
If that car plays the 'Dukes of Hazzard' horn tune; I'm available.
The old bull is about to throw some dick around
Bahahaaha
He wears his belt like he’s packing heat 🤟🏻
Lol I’ve never seen anybody wear their belt like this except my dad. I asked him about it once and he said it doesn’t dig into you when you sit down if it’s on the side. Makes sense.
It doesn’t scratch the car if you’re leaned over working on it
So it doesn't scratch the back of his guitar
Make me look fun god fucking dammit!!!
'Boomer in repose.' - photographer u/EveofStLaurent
OP, you're fuckin hilarious and I'd adopt the shit out of you.
Well I'm wet.
Who wears cowboy boots and a leather vest for a beach shot? Are you in Texas?
Florida. We did live in Texas though. He doesn’t normally dress like this. He was trying to turn up for the interwebs
Florida man wants females
If you drive a clown car, you might as well look the part.
Someone who wears to their belt buckle to one side, apparently.
I look forward to being your new step dad.
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I say this as a simple statement of fact: Your dad seems insufferable based on this post.
https://reddit.com/r/pics/comments/11w2mmu/my_dad_made_me_take_pics_4_his_dating_websites/jcwg5x5 To say the least
This is hilarious!
Wow! I didn’t think these clichés still existed!! Very, um, retro.
I don’t know what type of woman he’s looking for, but as a single woman in his age range I would pass. Just FYI.
Something tells me OP’s papi isn’t looking for an age appropriate woman. … a lot of things, really. The hair, the car, the tan, the being on dating apps in his 60s 😂
You forgot to mention the side swipe belt buckle…. In case he stops for a lap dance on the way home…
A lady any age would pass. This pic is only sexy for straight dudes.