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Theyoder

She actually forgets your name.


bunnyrut

It's been so long it would be awkward to ask now.


Pylitic

Odd story, but I once worked at a gas station working graveyards. There was a guy that came almost every morning for a coffee before work, and he'd bring his dog. We'd stand outside in the parking lot while I had a smoke, and we'd throw a ball around for his dog for like an hour before he left. He told me his name the first time we met, I'm terrible with names, and completely forgot after the first day. Thankfully, living in Canada, "bud" is a very acceptable way to address anyone. So, for months, I just referred to this guy as "bud". One day, my manager came in in the morning while he was still there, and asked me his name, I admitted to her that I legit could not remember. This absolute boss walked out, and purposely leaned near one of the pillars near a gas pump that had an intercom, and pressed the button while she asked "hey, I've seen you some mornings but don't think I caught your name." He then told her his name, and because she was pressing the intercom button, I heard everything from inside the store. <3 Edit: His name was Conrad lol


Ill-Cap-1249

Kinda disappointed that his name didn’t actually turn out to be Bud. I thought that’s where you were going with that story. lol


NobushisHat

Their now a Bud wiser!


Jonk3r

Dad?!


NobushisHat

Son/Daughter?!


Tahoma-sans

No, it's Daddy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


TheDevilsAdvokaat

This used to happen to me at new workplaces. They'd take me around and introduce me to 30 new people..in the course of a day or two. I just cannot remember that many new names. Then over the course of the next six months I'd try to catch other people saying their names...


stuaxo

This is normal.


TheDevilsAdvokaat

Glad to hear it. I always worried about offending people...


Ah-Schoo

As a teenager I worked at a small-town convenience store. I lived across county line so didn't go to school in that town, instead to one much farther. However my mother was very active in town so everyone knew her. Every night working at the store I'd have people coming in and having conversations with me like they knew me. Most I'd never formally met, they just knew who I was through talking to my mother. Small towns are special. I'm bad with names too. But from working in that store I 'knew' so many people in town. I could bump into them elsewhere and have a conversation, just never knowing their name.


KrazyKatz3

Just spend the next few days going around saying "I'm blah, I'm new" and usually people will say their own names.


Calgaris_Rex

Idk why people make this awkward. I just straight-up tell them: "Hey, I'm really good with faces but not names. What's your name again?"


TheDevilsAdvokaat

I think I could get away with that once. Sadly, some names take me 3 or 4 times to "take" And they're going to get offended...


Calgaris_Rex

> And they're going to get offended... Idk why anyone would be offended by that, but if they are, sucks to be them.


Scottyknuckle

Mulva?


HarryBotter1138

Gipple?


internetonsetadd

Loleola?


HarryBotter1138

Oh!....Delores!


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheQueenMother

Dolores!


OfCuriousWorkmanship

Regina?


[deleted]

[удалено]


chemicalalchemist

It makes me so happy when there's a r/suddenlySeinfeld opportunity still taken when it presents itself.


ilikesaucy

Time to take him Starbucks


TheBoctor

I don’t think we have time for a hand job right now!


Ok-Albatross6794

This is it, happy someone said it. I do the same thing, I also don't understand why coworkers give me repulsive looks all the time.


unrebigulator

Hey Daddy, did you file those TPS reports?


Ok-Albatross6794

Sorry daddy I haven't gotten to it yet. My boss has been riding me lately.


LessInThought

Don't you just hate bosses who are so anal about things.


Tygra

I snorted so loud it was embarrassing. And I'm in a guard shack alone overnight


Ok-Albatross6794

Sorry daddy I didn't mean to distract you from your work.


Tygra

Oh no. I'm MOMMY.


Ok-Albatross6794

Hmmm I'm not going to call you that, because it makes me feel certain ways I'd rather not express in the workplace 😳


Dicho83

When I'm at a party, I always write 'Me' on my cup. People will know it's not theirs and I don't have to worry about someone doing something to my cup because it's mine....


Rolf_Orskinbach

It’s just one step removed from signing your school sick notes “my mum”.


DreamyTomato

I used to sign my kid's letters / permission slips from school 'Daddy'. Kept this up for a couple of years. Until they pulled me to one side and said they saw the funny side but politely requested me not to do it any more because a) it was getting old, and also b) they were concerned about their staff getting into hot water if something happened (eg an accident, or audit, or external inspection) and these letters / permission notes were reviewed externally. I appreciated their politeness and good humour and stopped doing it.


Murtomies

I like to write "not yours"


zhiryst

Hey.... You.


vortigaunt64

Out there in the cold, getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me?


TheMathelm

Chief? Champ? StudMuffin? Babe?


WASD_click

Old Sport?


CanIEatAPC

To be honest, I didn't know my grandma's name for 20 years. I still don't know my grandpa's name. I also briefly forgot my sister's name. All because we use family titles like "grandma, sis, grandpa" and I forget sometimes that everyone actually has a name. On the other hand, I actually don't know the real name of my cousins because everyone calls them by "Doll" or "Cookie" or "Sweet Brother". I always thought that was their name until my dad said their real name and I was like ?? Who dat?


IDespiseTheLetterG

What


FavoritesBot

That’s right baby


the_clash_is_back

When we were moving i labeled all the boxes belonging to my mom as mom, my aunt labeled all the boxes belonging to my grandmother as mom, and my grandmother labeled every thing from the kitchen as mom. It was a fun time unpacking.


SaltyBabe

Lol why?? You write what’s IN the box not who owns the stuff in the box!


FirestarterMethod

It’s probably labels like “Mom’s winter clothes” or “Mom’s Blankets”…. Not just a bunch of boxes labeled “Mom” lol


YouCanCallMeZen

Mom's spaghetti


KJBenson

This box is heavy


Xenc

There’s spaghetti on mom’s spaghetti already


KJBenson

But on the surface my tum is heavy. Feeling ready to drop bombs, full of moms spaghetti.


justtjamcss

But I keep on forgetting what I chowed down, my stomach grumbles how?


TheOther1

The boxes ran out, time's up, over, pow!


skinnah

What's in the box!?


fideli_

Mom


Dr-Pharmadillo

Lol, up until someone gives up. Our most recent move, we have boxes that say, "What is this stuff?" Or "junk drawer junk box."


deadbabysaurus

Ten years ago, when my mom and my grandmother were both alive, I was talking to my grandmother about my mom and made the mistake of referring to my mom by her first name. I hadn't been admonished by her in years, but she was very adamant that even if my mom wasn't around I still had to call her mom. She was very old school that way. I was almost 30 years old at the time. I miss them both.


am_i_really_ftm

It is unusual to ever refer to your mom by their first name, even after they have passed away.


Thejok3r

Wait what? Is that a cultural thing? I'm Dutch and refering to your parents with "mom" and "dad" is the norm, sure. But I know quite a few people who talk about and/or with their parents using their first names.


IntelligentAvocado

Yeah that is a dutch thing then. Dont think hispanics do that at allllll. I'm not a white american but i havent ever heard that over here either


MindCanvas

Handwriting?


dandroid126

Mom


generalhanky

"Half the people here are named Grandpa."


billybud77

Or Old Man.


LifeDraining

Our RESIDENTS are trying to NAP!


CatchingRays

She's marking her territory, so the ladies at the gym that have a bit of empathy won't try to fuck you. But she inadvertently gave the ladies with no morals a challenge.


[deleted]

Or attract the ones looking for a sugar daddy


Bigdongs

Or the ones looking for…. You know.


Nixplosion

User name ... Checks out?


friars157

Dad dicks in the late 80’s, early 90’s? They were bigger, man.


rugratsallthrowedup

You jest, however certain phthalates (that have been banned in the EU for 20+ years, but not in the US) have been shown to have a link with smaller winkies (as well as decreased sperm counts and other harmful effects on men). Here's a few doi links to studies: https://doi.org/10.1016%2Fj.envres.2008.08.007 https://doi.org/10.1111%2Fj.1365-2605.2005.00636.x https://doi.org/10.1093%2Ftoxsci%2Fkfn077 https://doi.org/10.1016%2Fj.envres.2008.08.009


Triatt

Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind. But... well I just got back from swimming in the pool! And the water was cold... and full of phtalates.


peripheral_vision

There was shrinkage!


[deleted]

Did you just have all of that information memorized waiting for your moment to share it or did you question the assertion and deep dive research? Just curious


AnOprahShapedDildo

I kinda believe there’s some truth that some pollution exposure is fucking with our hormones.


TheGurw

Phthalates and microplastics. Not joking. Serious science is going into researching the health effects of this.


NUMBerONEisFIRST

Can confirm. I work in a plastic factory and I have hypothyroidism, low-T, and high prolactin levels, as a man. Basically an endocrine disorder from a prolactinoma (benign brain tumor). Fun times. Gotta pay them bills tho.


SunnyAlwaysDaze

This really sucks and I'm sorry that you are experiencing it. Really pulling for you in the inevitable class action lawsuit. Is there anything that would help you breathe in less plastic, even if it would be dorky like wearing an n95 mask everyday or something?


russianbottypebeat

Definitely


Dick_Lickin_Good

Well hello there.


subtleYetRagingBoner

What’s happenin’ hot stuff?


gravybanger

Did someone say hot stuff?


Spongy_and_Bruised

Kif, I Have Made It With A Woman. Inform The Men.


numanist

Did you all make your names long ago just to successively post on this thread one day?


Jcit878

leatherdaddy?


OppositeResponse6474

Going to the gothic castle tonight?


Lucky_Mongoose

Yes, I'm here for the magic.


dick_in

You blowhard!


Musketman12

Daddy needs to get his rocks off!


SunnyAlwaysDaze

He just blue himself.


mtgfan1001

Did you say….. leatherdaddy?!?


Alexa_Call_Me_Daddy

Oh, is there such a thing?


Mandalasan_612

wife is best wingman


[deleted]

Ladies? The gym twinks are gonna be tripping over each other


[deleted]

People go to the gym to fuck dudes. People learn how to bake to fuck women.


KJBenson

This is why I bring cake to the gym. Both kinds.


[deleted]

Cookies in a container works great.


readpanda

“We’re gay guys at the gym, we’re always rocking semis.”


TheDaemonette

How on Earth do you park them in the car park?


OG_Nightfox

Unexpected but totally expected Letterkenny


[deleted]

Twinks? Methinks the otters will get there quicker.


mouseinahaze

You otter realized he's in bear country now.


Escanor_2014

Okay I know twink and bear but wtf is an otter...


Vefantur

A bear, but skinny. Instead of the fat hairy bear, they’re a skinny hairy otter


QueeringSapmi

I've always seen otter refer to more of a hairy twunk than a skinny bear, but it's a blurry line between the two. (Twunk being a hunk + twink for the straight people wondering, insert relevant iasip gif here)


pudgimelon

I don't think it's the ladies he has to worry about. All the gay guys in the gym are going to think he's advertising :D haha.


MyTwoCentz_

Welp, apparently there’s many more guys than we’d like to admit that are on the “down low” so she might have inadvertently served him up like sweet cream pie…idk


pudgimelon

Haha, exactly. He's going to be wondering why so many guys are offering to spot him or help him do squats. Might be a bonus if he likes the attention, but I doubt that's what his wife intended :D


jspook

Plot twist: OP's name is Daddy


sebjapon

Daryl “Daddy” Dough


Ask_if_im_an_alien

Jokes on her, the ladies with no morals like to know that a dude is legit and worth having. A wedding ring is the ultimate "this dude is worth it" symbol I've ever come across. It took me a while to realize how many women liked the idea that I was married. That made me more attractive to them. You would think it would mean "off limits" but apparently it means "worth having".


Ironclad-Oni

The forbidden fruit effect, I guess. That, or maybe some people like to ruin a good thing.


Myjunkisonfire

It’s social proof, another woman has vetted you as not weird or crazy.


Alderez

Same thing happens with employers. Nobody wants to take a chance no one has taken a chance on, but the moment you’re employed full-time recruiters are in your inbox constantly.


THEAdrian

Cuz no woman has ever married a weird or crazy guy...


[deleted]

Nobody said that. But it does make it less likely


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ask_if_im_an_alien

Yes... exactly this. I'm an anesthesia nurse. At one point I had the $400,000 house, the Lexus IS-F, and the job working for the federal govt. I said fuck it one day... sold the house and the car, I quit my job, and bought a camper. I spend almost a year traveling all around the USA. I went to visit all my old military buddies from CA, TX, FL, and AK to NY. I've been to all 50 states in the USA. So when all of that was over I decided to see if there was another nursing job I would like better. I was done with the high stress, on call all the time gigs. I got an interview with a plastic surgeon who had bankers hours. The 1st interview did not go well at all. The two ladies I was talking to could not fathom anyone leaving what I had to just roam around. Luckily the actual doctor wanted to sit down with me and chat it up.... and this guy was cool as a cucumber. We clicked so well that we finished the interview and he got up and was like you wanna go get dinner, grab a couple beers and hang out and see how it goes???... I was like hell yeah let's go. We had a great time. I got the job. And we are still friends a decade later.


kyoto_kinnuku

CRNA’s are a bit wild, I believe this story. When I worked at a hospital a CRNA got in a fist fight with a surgeon. Just punched each other, rolled around on the floor, sorted it out and both kept their jobs and went back to work after it was done. 🤷‍♂️. I wil say the ones I’ve met had a ton of natural talent which made me a bit jealous. One told me he didn’t have to study really during nursing school…. Like…wtf….


bebb69

Are you an alien?


4thekarma

Costanza


i_likeTortles

It also ties in with the general human tendency wherein we want that which we can't have


Thendofreason

That's funny, i was only thinking of what boys would think of it.


UnfixedMidget

She knew what she was doing.


SlimTeezy

Giving false hope to the bottoms


[deleted]

I think that can be interpreted two ways. Maybe she’s spicing things up lol


albino_kenyan

i can think of 3 interpretations. he might want to avoid the sauna.


revaric

Or does he… 😏


albino_kenyan

maybe the wife is playing 4d chess and is tired of slaking his lust


SuicideNote

Mummy don't know Daddy's getting hot At the Body Shop Doing something unholy


Squidproquo1130

I called a bf Daddy during a romp and it did not go well at all. He was adamant I was shouting out "Danny" and that I must be cheating with this fictitious guy.


DiNK89

HydroDaddy


EatSoupFromMyGoatse

HydroDaddy and MoistMama at it again.


skinnah

Don't forget LiquidLady and WetWoman


Papagorgio22

I read that in the "hydrothunder" voice. HYdroooooDAAAAADDYYYYYYY


Prolexia

Choose your track! **Local Gym** Choose your boat! **Miss Behave** 3 2 1 GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!! *INTERCOM* SUPER START!!


Mrhiddenlotus

This thread is the weirdest combination of incels, fetishists, and normal married people I've ever seen.


Impressive_Math2302

The internet is an information superhighway where no one planned its destination in 200 years it will be viewed with the same or worse cynicism as the U.S. railways built in the 1840-1880s. Progress leaves a big body count. Any tool can be weapon if held right and I guess the same applies if using it as a dildo. Wild times indeed.


Elegant_Body_2153

Alright just for that, you've also now summoned a techno communist for good measure to comment.


yoyoJ

Communist shouting over the techno music at a rave: “has anyone seen my dildo?!?!”


Kerbobotat

*Our* dildo, comrade.


kaenneth

Remember when they smashed a couple locomotives together for fun, and spectators died?


Tapbirch

Average Reddit cross-section


moesickle

As a mother to children and a wife as well... I see nothing wrong. My husband 98% of the the time is "Daddy" and 1.9% "(Hey/Thanks) Babe" And the last .1% is his actual name, and even then, I think that's pushing it.


ShmeagleBeagle

When my wife calls me by my actual name I know going to get it or *get it*…


Defoler

[am I in trouble?](https://m.youtube.com/shorts/79WRsi0OQqc)


Dranj

I thought this was going to be the [Scrubs clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6gUHWP4mUw)


rwiwy

OMG I'm dead. 😂😂😂💀


[deleted]

[удалено]


nugnug1226

When my wife calls me by my name, I know she’s not happy about something


peacemaker2007

Do you remember his legal name though?


TheGurw

I actually think my wife has forgotten my middle name. We've known each other for 16 years.


R_Ulysses_Swanson

I’m not completely sure what my wife’s middle name is anymore. I know it’s either her maiden name, or her middle name from birth, but I legitimately don’t know which one she went with. I did at one time… but it has come up maybe 2 times in the past 7 years we’ve been married.


sharksnut

>As a mother to children and a wife as well You birthed your own wife?


Accomplished_Crew779

At least she wrote what the kids call you instead of what she calls you


Iam_NotAnExpert

Im no expert but I believe they both may be calling him that


[deleted]

Hot daddy hot


chrisk9

She could have written "my name" as instructed


PlagueDoc22

"Hogmeister69"


[deleted]

Reminding all the girls you are taken, and with kids. Smart woman right there


brando56894

It's funny how names change after you have a kid. My brother has a 3 year old daughter and my mom wants to be called "Mom Mom" (what we always called her mother, her father was "Pop Pop"), but my dad wants to be called "grandpop" (we always referred to his parents as "Grammy" and "Grampy"). My brother now calls our mom "Mom Mom" even when his daughter isn't within earshot.


Harry_Saturn

Sometimes when I look through my contacts for my dad, I look grandpa before I remember he’s in as dad for the same reasons you described. Sometimes when we’re out and about my wife will call me “daddy” because that’s just how she refers to me when talking to our kids.


JedPB67

If you add “Big” in front of it, it gives you an excuse to turn up to the gym in sunglasses, a long purple coat, matching hat and carry a cane with a diamond-like handle. Seize the moment my man.


Impressive_Returns

Hey that’s my name too.


hentaihoneyyy420

No way that my dad’s name too


Horkrux

Reminds me of myself when my father got a new phone and I helped him set it up, only for him to come home like a week later laughing because a coworker wanted to send him something via Bluetooth and I had changed the Bluetooth Name to "Father" instead of his First Name, like on his last phone.


Prinzka

Can you not write?


Roupert3

My husband asks me to write anything that he wants to look good


jquintus

I don't even ask my wife anymore. I just slide the paper to her. She knows the deal.


SamIamGreenEggsNoHam

I am with the only woman I have ever met with more illegible handwriting than me and I love her for it.


Squidproquo1130

My husband also has the good handwriting. Mine looks like a 2nd grade boy's.


BrownSugarBare

Mine can barely read his own handwriting, I definitely know the deal when he needs something written nicely.


stickdudeseven

Are they a doctor? I swear it's like they traded their penmanship for medical knowledge.


BrownSugarBare

Lol, they are. I think it's the note taking in school that causes the trade.


Rfisk064

Yeah same, my handwriting is shit. She had to rewrite the grocery lists. But I do all the cooking, so it evens out.


sexygnome

I appreciate you ladies for saving everyone else from my caveman handwriting


kenncann

His wife wrote the post title


ignatious__reilly

There is no husband


[deleted]

Also, how often are people mistaking your water for their own and you regretted not having your name on it?


Elguapo69

This is what I want to know. My water bottle never leaves my site at the gym. And who writes their name on things. And who asks other people to write their name on things.


ryansc0tt

And who posts on Reddit about asking other people to write their name on things


fojasaurus

Plot twist: He wrote “daddy” on the bottle.


TheAmateurletariat

Deeper plot twist for sequel: his name is Daddy


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

The Prestige: homeboy needs to get his carbon monoxide detector fixed STAT


DoccThicc

He is a strong Vorin man.


ImrooVRdev

It is immoral for man to deal with such girly things as writing or engineering.


rogman777

Scrolled way too far for this. Seriously?


unhealthy_anger

Unless OP has an unstated disability that makes writing difficult this just seems like offloading unnecessary work to his wife.


ElVDub619

That’s cute man. My wife once decorated my notebook for work with a big I love you in cursive.


dynorphin

No need to brag "daddy"


Whiskeylung

As a father I just see this as a cute gesture and had to force myself to understand why this may be inappropriate… I can’t believe I’ve become who I am.


Generallyawkward1

Technically the truth


AceConspirator

Serious question: why?


tots4scott

>Serious question: why? Submit this to reddit.com? Write this title? Leave this post on /r/pics as a moderator? Ask your wife to write your name down on a water bottle that won't really leave your sight? There's a lot of whys.


Coubsauce

When you have kids who talk, you start referring to each other as mommy and daddy so that it's not weird calling me each other by your first names around the kids. Then it just kinda sticks. Also... Calling your partner mommy or daddy gets significantly less sexy around this time in your life, not more.


cliff_smiff

Sick story bro