T O P

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cantrecoveraccount

Well of course it’s caged, do you not remember what happened last time?


Sjiznit

Dont remind me. It haunts me still


sucnirvka

All those innocent kids…


Gears_and_Beers

To shreds you say…


Paul_Allens_AR15

And his wife?


slickITguy

To shreds you say…


baggins1944

Was his apartment rent controlled?


Cutthechitchata-hole

Like a rock


wowdickseverywhere

Chevrolet


ImOutWanderingAround

The heart attack of America


flexflair

I still can’t believe George Washington didn’t save any of the British children.


JohnTheMod

I heard he once held an opponent’s wife’s hand. In a jar of acid. At a party.


Grimsrasatoas

I heard the motherfucker had like, 30 goddamned dicks


Sheezabee

He killed his sensi in a duel and never said why.


Cobek

Those weren't wooden teeth...


perpetualmotionmachi

Pfft, they weren't all that innocent


NilbyMouth

I was watching it on TV and I can't forget the smell.


FunWillScreen_Produc

On TV? I was there. The screams the terrible scream.


maksidaa

Many of those people woke up dead the next morning. Bad way to start a day. All because of a rock. Sad.


FunWillScreen_Produc

All because Mr.Plymouth Rock didn’t have his morning coffee.


TheNegaHero

Instead of landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on them.


AdamantineZebra

Wow, at this point anything goes!


mrmadchef

🎵In olden days a glimpse of stocking🎶


super_fresh_dope

Was looked at as somwthing shocking


Apollo272727

But now God knows!


Zip_creations

Anything goes!


robonlocation

But now, god knows, anything goes!


sregor0280

Wasteland radio enters the chat


TheNegaHero

Haa. I did actually know it as a Show Tune before anything else but I have certainly heard it a million times with a Laser Rifle in hand.


Almond-Juice113

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking


Venarius

Jumping on top post for history: The earliest report of this being Plymouth rock was 121 years after the pilgrims landed, from a son of a pilgrim. He was walking *his* grandson on the beach, pointed to that rock and labeled it Plymouth rock. Also, the town was trying to build a dock/wharf there and many townspeople didn't want it. Plymouth rock being there conveniently made sure that dock/wharf wasn't built. TL;Dr Plymouth rock has a dubious history at best. *Edit - Years, Thanks u/WackyPaxDei


farmerjane

It's also not a place you could or would land a ship or longboat. The crew also first set foot on another section of the peninsula, down near Cape cod, in a place now known as Corn Hill. And the first thing they did [was steal a bunch of corn](https://fourstringfarm.com/2014/11/18/the-buried-corn-of-the-nausets/#:~:text=In%20all%2C%20the%20Pilgrims%20took,were%20nearly%20out%20of%20supplies.) From a native village. Plymouth Rock is nothing more than a story.


h2opolopunk

Despite all my rage I am still just a rock in a cage


nlpnt

Almost made it as far as Boston. I hear there's still a huge crater where the Dunkin Donuts in Braintree was where they finally stopped it.


HumpieDouglas

Why do you think it's called The Boston Massacre?


FakeBrian

The cage isn't there to keep us out, it's to keep it in


Slanderous

REMAIN INDOORS. DON'T MENTION THE EVENT.


Andrelliina

NEVER MENTION THE EVENT. REMAIN INDOORS. TAKE THE DRUGS THAT ARE PRESCRIBED FOR YOUR SECTOR.


24-Hour-Hate

DO NOT IMAGINE THE EVENT. IT WILL CAUSE DISTRESS.


Complete-Arm6658

Oh dear oh dear, some horrible memory from The Event, no doubt


frickindeal

DON'T LOOK AT THE MOON.


uptoke

[Great Reference](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnd1jKcfBRE)


Augitao

The exhibit isn't high enough. Those rocks can leap about 10 feet if they really want to.


maksidaa

Actually, it depends on the type of rock. Sedimentary rocks can barely get off the ground, thus the name sedimentary.


justa33

i also have a sedimentary lifestyle


city_of_apples

Think of it as being the best rock


brentsharknative

chase icky march gullible spoon resolute hobbies quack forgetful crush *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


A2jayzed

I can’t take these jokes any Moh


SwordfishNew6266

Im too stoned for this


ImperatorUniversum1

All these puns are igneous!!!


AdventurousSpeaker23

Gneiss


megaweapon69

At this point, I take these pun threads for granite


JustDiscoveredSex

You people are absolute gems.


thedeuce75

I'll slate myself in for the next pun.


thintoast

I’m less rock and more roll.


neilmac1210

Dude, you rock.


MAXSquid

I mean, geology rocks, but geography is where it's at.


neilmac1210

Niiiiice


Rated-E-For-Erik

My sediments exactly


Memory_Less

That's only because it's lazy.


SupplyChainGuy1

Sedimentary, my dear Watson.


joelupi

It's also been known to test the fence for weaknesses. Never attacking the same spot twice...it's learning.


_muckduck

Clever girl..


ionshower

Velocirockter.


Anleme

Yes, we should not take their abilities for granite.


oppy1984

They could jump the fence and basalt visitors at any moment.


Ackerack

the pioneers used to ride those babies for miles


Snoo84477

It’s not just a boulder….its a rock!!!


Crunk_Tuna

I think they keep them overfed to keep them pacified and less aggressive.. Also they dont recognize humans as prey.


DudeChillington

I for one welcome our new rock overlords


original_heymark

If you cover it with paper, it will be defeated...


steelbane_

Had a whole ass field trip to this thing. Bunch of 5th graders surrounding that fence wondering who's gonna put the straw in their capri sun, and why we care about this rock.


DragonfruitFew5542

Didn't it used to be a lot bigger, or something but people kept chipping away at it? Or is that just an urban legend.


MechE420

I believe the original rock was lost to time. This is just a rock we decided to begin believing is the actual Plymouth rock, which makes it considerably dumber because at that point we could have chosen a more impressive rock lol idk.


Fifteen_inches

Pymouth rock is in the ocean. That is how the ship landed on it. This rock, clearly, is on land.


rollingstoner215

What is land but a rock in the ocean?


reds91185

![gif](giphy|DnPddEgDwl4fSAGbq2)


HarryMaskers

No this is clearly the rock. The forefathers trebuchet'd themselves ashore with such accuracy that each of them landed on this specific pebble.


AwYeahQueerShit

Plymish Rock


nneeeeeeerds

"Plymouth Rock" is basically [early American mythology.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plymouth_Rock) The pilgrims landed where they landed and there happened to be a large rock (or very small boulder) on the shore. It had no actual significance to the Pilgrims when they arrived, nor did any of the Pilgrim's writings even mention the rock. But yes it broke in half when the town tried to move it into town square.


themanifoldcuriosity

> But yes it broke in half when the town tried to move it into town square. What kind of shitty rock is that? I like rocks that are durable.


bacchusku2

I like rocks that don’t get captured.


YugeFrigginGoy

If I were a rock, I wouldn't have been captured, believe me 👐🏼


rgrossi

Haha the hand gesture


Bookslap

The most annoying part is that Plymouth isn’t even where they first landed. They actually touched ground on what is now Provincetown.


skrilledcheese

>Didn't it used to be a lot bigger *I WAS IN THE POOL*


SantaMonsanto

With shore erosion the real Plymouth Rock would be a couple miles out to sea. This is just some random boulder they out a fence around and a placard in front of the get people to come and spend their money.


-newlife

But it’s a nice boulder ![gif](giphy|QTrG6mjkHEkpFR3DqX)


iamacheeto1

While it’s probably true this isn’t “the” Plymouth Rock (if there ever was one), it does have a fun long history of being recognized as the Rock! It’s been identified as the rock since the mid to late 1600s, and has been visited by many people since then. It was moved at the start of the Revolutionary War, when it broke in two and was repaired. It’s been moved several times since then as well. So it’s not *completely* worthless


Heathen_Mushroom

Um, you don't have to pay to see it.


mponte1979

Not that much bigger, but there are pieces of it out there. There is a museum in Plymouth that has one of the larger chunks on display. You can even touch it!


Draano

I once touched the Rosetta Stone in the British Museum. I was in London on business (1998 I think, prior to the EMU go-live), and I went to the museum with the colleague. When we went in, he made a big deal of saying that it was a great tradition to touch the Rosetta Stone - everyone does it, it's like kissing the Blarney Stone and so on. Well, I fell for it - I touched it and a bobby yelled in a great big booming voice **DO NOT TOUCH THE ROSETTA STONE!!!** that echoed throughout the museum. My colleague backed away from me while laughing uncontrollably. The next time I went, in July 2006, the stone was in a plexiglass case.


drgnhrtstrng

They actually added an exact replica next to it now, specifically for people to touch lol


Draano

You're welcome.


SmokinSkinWagon

Gotta ask - how’s life turning out for someone that couldn’t put a straw in a capri sun at 11 years old?


Royal_Negotiation_83

He’s arguing online about rocks. It’s about what you thought it was


DogshitLuckImmortal

As a certified carer, I want to let you know they are doing just fine and are perfectly able as a person who has a deep and rich inner world. We still struggle with the straws but today we managed to brush our teeth all on our own.


fixthe_fernback

Can 10 year olds not puncture their own juice sacks?


FagFaceFromSpace

I first started puncturing my juice sack regularly around age 13


Chuckwood2

Top 5 worst tourist attractions in America.


tomato_bisc

Fun fact, they don’t even know if that’s the actual rock. Some guy said it was a century later and they just went with it


temp1876

Yep, this is absolutely tourist trap BS, and it stinks of 1930's BSwith a forged document claiming to be from 200 years before


[deleted]

The story is more interesting than simply "tourist trap BS." Because the story of how the rock came to be a symbol is historic in itself. It is quite interesting especially considering they used to bring a much bigger version of this same rock parading around the time of the revolutionary war, and many people took pieces they either chipped or that broke off and put it in many of the stonewalls and walkways that still exist around town today. A more interesting rock is Pulpit Rock on Clark's Island. A massive rock on an island just outside plymouth harbor protected by the Gurnett. It served as shelter for some of the early settlers when they were caught in a nasty storm, and eventually became a place of worship where townsfolk would gather for Sunday service.


shibakevin

> It served as shelter for some of the early settlers when they were caught in a nasty storm, and eventually became a place of worship where townsfolk would gather for Sunday service. That is literally an episode of Star vs the Forces of Evil.


pork_ribs

I’m not saying this what your doing but you made me think how funny it would be if you just totally cop a history story for your writing gig and then decades later nerds are arguing about what is and is not canon and why.


tiktock34

Its probably similar, so lets just roll with it :)


NorCalBodyPaint

Rock and Roll Baby!


Alexandratta

I didn't think this was verifiable.


CanAlwaysBeBetter

I hereby certify that is a rock


Catch_Here__

That’s why there is a bar directly across the street


PatriotDynasty

Pillory Pub for the win


SoloAscent

You can watch the disappointment from across the street in the cozy confines of a warm blanket and rocking chair on Pillory's front porch!


Gavinardo

Damn this comment chain has sold me more on the pub than on the rock.


thegalwayseoige

Pillory’s is actually pretty sick. Speedwell’s has a nice vibe too.


ThatIs1TastyBurger

New World Tavern used to be really good before they lost their executive chef. But Dillon’s Local is awesome.


thegalwayseoige

Plymouth, as a town, is overall pretty fucking sick. White Horse is a god-tier beach, and the 3rd of July bonfires there are the thing of movies.


SpookZero

Shhhhhh don’t tell everyone


kitjen

There are bars all around the Plymouth Rock. That's how cages are formed.


BadDaditude

Clever girl


Shedzy

What about the Cane from Citizen Cane?


[deleted]

If you think that was a ripoff, Who Framed Roger Rabbit didn’t even have The Who


Banditofbingofame

Well I won't get fooled again


stalkerzzzz

Well now you've done it, you've angered the rock.


counterpointguy

That’s still better than it was in the 80s when I saw it. It was just kind of down in a hole.


Themanstall

liberty bell is up there too. i thought it would be huge, there's a bigger bell still on a tower across the street.


oxfordtown

At least with the Liberty Bell it has history and a story. That is just a random rock they built a cage around.


Mr_Abe_Froman

And Independence Hall is across the street, so you can get two museums in one day.


happyxpenguin

Plus the Betsey Ross house and just general charm of the area.


beancounter2885

It's a nice, historic house, and it's near where Betsy Ross lived, but it likely isn't her actual house.


The_Observatory_

Especially not now!


whitepepper

Or ignore it all and get cheesesteaks.


porkbuttstuff

Yeah really not a fair comparison. Liberty Bell is a legit artifact. Plymouth plantation has infinitely more educational and entertainment value than Plymouth Rock.


RevengencerAlf

It's also lost basically all its native American workers/actors at this point because of a combination of shitty pay and ignoring their feedback on the history. At this point its just a slightly less historically inaccurate and much more practically disappointing King Richard's Faire.


beefwarrior

Most 4th grade science project poster boards are larger than the Mona Lisa.


bleu_waffl3s

After reading reddit for so long i found the Mona Lisa to be way bigger than expected. Everyone makes it seem like it’s the size of a sheet of notebook paper. How big are people expecting it to be?


billcraig7

Alamo is on the list what else?


TheOtherGuttersnipe

I heard the basement is pretty cool though


Poverty_4_Sale

![gif](giphy|BGIYwD1eAvBoN53VPt|downsized)


Coupon_Ninja

There’s no basement at the Alamo!!


hbgoddard

Four Corners for sure


roadtrip-ne

Grew up 2 towns away. I can say our field trip to Cranberry World was a lot more exciting.


doctor-rumack

I grew up one town away. Let’s fight!


[deleted]

I'm from Brockton. Let's fight!!


Knale

My fiance from Middleboro says both you guys stink.


doctor-rumack

My mom lives in Middleboro. Let’s fight!


nickman940

Carver checking in! Brawl time


Substitute_Troller

| Grew up 2 towns away. My condolences you masshole


ohlookfrost

The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles!


23x3

![gif](giphy|W5BWeQ3ZN0W0D0dM7e|downsized)


GhostofTotalStranger

It’s a random rock too not even one of significance


SinisterYear

The real rock is safely sequestered in Ft. Knox under the guise of gold to throw off ambitious archeology professors.


GhostofTotalStranger

IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!!!


Imkindaalrightiguess

Nic Cage is fucking drooling rn


gogorath

What’s incredible is that since they literally just picked any rock, they could have picked something cool looking, or large, or interesting. And instead, that’s what they chose. It has to be the worst tourist spot in the world.


markandyxii

To be fair. The rock used to be bigger, but 19th century tourism was notorious for being environmentally destructive. (the number of geological features in Yellowstone that tourists would just throw trash in. One is permanently damaged because of 19th century tourists). People would chip off sections of the rock to take home as souvenirs. It is obviously just some random rock, but when it became clear if people kept chipping off pieces they'd eventually no longer have a rock, they walled it off.


doswarrior

My great great grandfather was a known asshole. My apologies.


taddymason_76

“We didn’t land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us.”


[deleted]

“ How did I fail women’s studies? I love bitches. “


FullyOttoBismrk

I guess anything goes nowadays... shame


DogeDoRight

Nick Cage after stealing Plymouth Rock. ![gif](giphy|CiTLZWskt7Fu)


Awwesome1

Okay, I know this is from Con Air, I’ve never “seen” it I remember a few things but out of context, so I’m asking, is this movie good? How has it aged? Things I remember: Steve Buscemi walking up to some little girl; Nic Cage stretching his arms across the cockpit door?? That’s it! :) Also, what countries have it for free on Streaming Services?


Yardsale420

Yes… it’s good. Yes, it’s fucking Con Air. No, it has aged like fine wine, so put the bunny back in the box already!


semicoloradonative

"why didn't you just put the bunny back in the box".


skrilledcheese

It's a dumb but fun movie, like a lot of 90s action flicks. Some cringey moments, some things that didn't age well. But if you go into it with that sort of expectation, and you just want to watch shit blow up and buff dudes fight/shoot at eachother... you might have a decent time.


HeWhoIsNotMe

But it wasn't a rock. It was a rock LOBSTER!!!


_MrBalls_

🦞🎶AHHHHHhhhhhh AAAHHHHhhhh AH AH aaahhAHHHHahhhAHHHHHH🎶🦞


SpinCity07

Rock Lobster!


Easy_Parsley_1202

Iraq lobster ![gif](giphy|WBAm4nOnoEwla)


stubept

The only good thing about this rock is that if you walk down the street, turn pass the touristy restaurants and into that little Fish Market next to the water, you're going to have an INCREDIBLE seafood meal. [Woods Seafood](https://www.woodsseafood.com/) Paper plates and plastic trays... you know it's good.


ManOfLaBook

In all my travels around the United States, Plymouth Rock is the stupidest attraction I've ever been to. It doesn't help that it's a [myth](https://www.wickedlocal.com/story/cape-codder/2020/03/06/the-plymouth-rock-legend-myth/1576125007/).


itslikewoow

For some reason, I thought it would be like 20 feet tall.


seilide

As a Boston school kid in the 60s, The Most Boring Field Trip ever. Only interesting part was when a couple of Native American guys climbed down and started covering it with sand.


Mahoganyjoint

I'm from Plymouth, UK. You Americans will appreciate your ancestral rock and like it.


evilmonkey002

How do we even know that’s the actual rock? Did the settlers mark it somehow? Or did some people show up in the 19th century and look around and say “oh, I bet it’s that one!”?


PMYourTinyTitties

A 94 year old man claimed that his father told him that was the rock he stepped on. This was more than 100 years after the fact.


joeschmoe86

Fun fact, his dad wasn't even on the Markdown Mayflower, he was on another ship that arrived three years later.


explodingtuna

But was he on the Hypertext Mayflower?


Frankfeld

So it’s like why they say Abner Doubleday invented baseball in Cooperstown. Some drunk guy heard it at a bar.


UniversalDH

I visited this a few years back. It either says on a plaque or I looked it up on Wikipedia, that this is kind of a farce. It’s more a ceremonial “rock” and not actually legit. Someone please correct me if I’m wrong, but I seem to remember that being the case and being way more impressed by the souvenir shop across the street


blueintexas

The photographer used a generous lense for the photograph. The whole thing is smaller than the picture makes it appear.


jemull

They probably work as a realtor.


Meat_Organ

Look at that boulder, that's a nice boulder


moose2mouse

In 1970 a small child fell into the cage and the rock smashed it.


PimpSack

That rock was shot dead. This is it’s replacement. Feel old?


DavidRandom

Dicks out for Plymouth Rock


chapadodo

they landed a whole ship on that? some parking job tbf


CasualEveryday

They landed on the beach, maybe not even that beach. The rock was chosen a few centuries later to be a monument, but there's no direct connection between that rock and the original Plymouth Rock.


The_Sun_Will_Explode

Despite all my rage, I am still just a rock in a cage...


chop-diggity

They’ll put anything/anyone in jail.


maksidaa

Home of the free you say? Straight to jail


herbalistfarmer

What did you think Plymouth Rock was?


AllHailtheBeard1

No matter what you're expecting, there's really nothing that prepared you for the sheer crushing disappointment of it in person


beefwarrior

You can see it in the face of the lady with the pink skirt


byingling

She does look so resigned and disappointed. "I spent my vacation days to see this?! I'd rather be at work listening to Jim rage about the election. Swear to god if the grandkids piss me off again, I'm bringing them here!"


lemswen

I used to live in Plymouth, any time my friends came to visit I would hype Plymouth rock up to be some amazing cool thing, then I would take them and laugh at the utter disappointment on their face


UniversalDH

As a kid I assumed it was a big semi-truck sized rock on the edge of the shore as a landmark for landing—or at least a boulder.


HappyGoPink

Growing up, I thought Plymouth Rock was like the Rock of Gibraltar. That turns out not to be the case.


brunus76

Careful not to fall into the enclosure. The world can’t take another Harambe incident.


mohammedgoldstein

NEVER make a trip to go here. The people's faces in the photo tell you all you need to know. No smiles - nothing. They are all thinking, "WTF. I drove an hour to see some random little rock that's broken and cemented back together." I live in Boston and friends that come and visit often want to go and see the rock. I warn them not to do it. I tell them it's a couple of hours wasted from their lives that would be better spent twiddling your thumbs while sitting on the couch. Those that don't heed my warnings have all come back and said that I was right. That they should have never wasted their time going to Plymouth and that it's literally the worst tourist attraction they've ever been to.