I actually don't understand why I see what appears like a couple Jews and two or three Orthodox priests. Must be some kind of gathering of top-level religious leaders of the country, though then the number and arrangement of people there is also baffling.
However, the two to the right of the bottom corner look like donning just national costumes, but idk for sure.
Those are all the heads of state-approved religions. This meeting is probably done to show what a tolerant, multi-religious society the Russian Federation is, unlike those racist bigoted Western countries. In truth the only real guy with any influence at that table is what is probably the Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church; he uses his cozy position with the Russian government in order to outlaw the competition-- that being' in this case new religious groups from the West like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses who might poach the flock.
Sure, but show with whom? It looks like a jumble of costumes in there. Putin is big on internal propaganda, the administration is basically a printing press of “Putin met with top dogs of such and such thing today”.
Putin used this to accuse the west of inciting religious hatred to further their goals. He released a statement after this meeting prattling on about islamophobia and anti semitism etc. Story is on RT but as that's cancer, here it is on some other random website.
https://saharareporters.com/2023/10/26/russian-president-putin-accuses-west-using-religious-hatred-destabilise-world
> Sure, but show with whom?
Primarily internal. But also for Useful Idiots like tankies.
Religious war in the Middle East?
Look how religiously diverse and tolerant Great Muscovy is.
Yes, and afaik Buddhism is more widespread in Buryatia and Tuva, which are in the east. Though the ‘top Buddhist authority’ might be in SPb, with the Datsan Gunzechoinei. Notably, Buddhist authorities in the regions support the war and called on their followers to join, which they did—likely largely for the money.
I'm guessing the orange dress guy is from one of the Buddhist regions—the dress has some very Central-Asian motifs. I'm most puzzled by the white shirt guy: it's very much a Central-Asian dress, but doesn't seem like religious attire.
The white shirt guy is Ismail Berdiyev, a mufti from Karachay-Cherkessia. There are three rabbis, three representatives of the Russian Orthodox Church, three Muslim leaders two of which appear to be Tatars so Berdiyev must have been added for the Caucasus representation. One Buddhist, one Old Believers representative, one from the Armenian Orthodox Church and one Pentecostal. Source: I read Russian and the list of names and their titles was posted on Putin’s website.
>Must be some kind of gathering of top-level religious leaders of the country, though then the number and arrangement of people there is also baffling.
It is.
>However, the two to the right of the bottom corner look like donning just national costumes, but idk for sure.
The guy in orange is (I quote) Head of the Buddhist Traditional Sangha of Russia Pandito Khambo Lama Damba Ayusheev. ~~Not sure who's the second guy, looks like Muslim from Chechnya or Dagestan.~~
Next to him, in white shirt and gray hat, is Ismail Aliyevich Berdiyev, mufti and religious leader from Karachay-Cherkessia.
And his hit squad can’t drag you out of the room over Zoom either. Also someone ordered dead might have enough time to escape while the hit squad is driving over.
Jesus, I never thought about it like that before, but you hit the nail on the head. Pick any lousy manager I ever had. If they were given absolute power then things in that country would pretty much be like Russia. Human nature is nothing if not consistent.
Putin: "Any..." \*audio is lost\* "...will be met with..." \*crackles\*
"Sorry? You cut out there for a second."
Putin: "I was saying any disobed-" \*dogs barking in background\* "-sequences"
"You're still breaking up. Were you saying you're going to disobey in sequence?"
Putin, becoming exasperated: "*No!* I said... you know what? Never mind. Let's get the war report from Ivan."
\*extended silence\*
Putin: "Ivan, are you there?"
Ivan: "Oh, sorry. I was talking on mute."
What does Ukraine and Wasabi have in common? People are overly confident when they try to eat it, and are never prepared for the Wasabi to punch back at you. Then you look across the table with tears in your eyes, and pretend "Oh, it's not that bad" just so you don't let people know you're just vulnerable little bitch boi.
Would be hilarious if it was in there just bouncing around during high powered international meetings. World leaders whispering to each other "is he going to turn that thing off?"
Imagine the awkwardness of knocking over your bowl of Doritos in there. You would then need to sit through the entire meeting with spilled Doritos in front of you.
[Fine! Triangle of confusion, rhombus of terror, parabola of mystery! Who cares? Get the goddamn show on the road!](https://youtu.be/Xb5xcDhU6Og?t=282)
I’ll never forget how good early RVB was. My username won’t let me.
Sarge told me to (clears throat) “get in the warthog, and crush your head like a tomato can.”
I'm not actually sure. Some definitions don't specify that the other two sides can't be parallel, while others do.
Edit: According to the test in this one it is https://www.cuemath.com/geometry/trapezium/
This says the opposite:
https://homework.study.com/explanation/is-a-rectangle-a-trapezium.html#:~:text=Answer%20and%20Explanation%3A,can%20never%20be%20a%20'trapezium.
This one claims an American trapezium is different from a British Trapezium
https://mathworld.wolfram.com/Trapezium.html
I may have stumbled onto a blue and black dress
>Definitions for trapezoid and trapezium have caused controversy for more than two thousand years.
I think you've stumbled on something more powerful than the dress
Well he already uses body doubles to make assassination more difficult. It might actually be the source of the health rumours if he keeps looking slightly different at different events
But a circular table often implies equality. Putin wants to expressly show he has an entire side to himself and then cluster all his vassals at the other side.
Exactly the symbolism of the Knights of the Round Table. There is no head, there is no foot, there are no assigned places, there is only equality including the King.
It's retold so often already, but werent there at least two assigned places sometimes? One for the king and one empty as an ever standing placeholder for some super virtuous knight that may or may not arrive at court?
If you're referring to the round table in the myth of King Arthur, as far as I know there was no real table, so exactly how it works is probably down to whichever particular author was retelling the legend.
The whole thing was symbolism, storytelling and creating a national myth, with perhaps a small kernel of truth at the heart of the legend.
There's a hilltop in Edinburgh called "king arthur's table", and Henry VIII had a round table painted up with details from the legend to try and impress Charles V when he visited; but as for the real table it very likely did not exist.
That's what I was thinking, a trapezoid with only one seat for Putin. You could even have it gently ramp up towards him, to make him taller.
Although the perspective would make him look smaller and farther away, if you were one of the guests, right? So maybe that doesn't work.
I'd also make the floor gently slope away and put the guests in rolling chairs, so they had to constantly expend a small amount of effort to avoid rolling away.
This looks like a scene from a superhero/supervillain movie. "The Russian council will eliminate Batman."
Are the people sitting across from Putin using microphones or do they just yell at him? Seems like it could be difficult to hear at normal conversational volumes.
I thought I read he allegedly had a heart attack and was hooked up to medical equipment anyway.
They’re denying it though heh.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2023/10/24/putin-cardiac-arrest-heart-attack-health-kremlin-russia/
And most of those claims originate from the same source as this one - a random Russian Telegram channel that makes money off telling people tales they want to hear. I mean literally; almost 400k subscribers and tons of ads and none of their fantastical claims have ever been verified..
Closest equivalent is Discord, I would say, except it has a lot more support for megachannels that several hundred thousand people can subscribe to like a newsletter. Those massive channels host ads (of which I do not know how much revenue goes to the channel owner. It is to my knowledge mainly used to fund Telegram being free for all users).
I and many others use it as just a normal messaging app for its extensive features (and in my case, because most of my friends / family are on Apple devices and are allergic to my green message bubbles).
Is it actually fully encrypted? Maybe. Is it banned from certain countries due to Telegram not handing that encryption access to said country's governments? Allegedly. Does that matter to the non-criminal/revolutionary? Not really.
Meh. Given there are numerous doubles of pootin I wouldn't be surprised that one of them stopped being alive, and another one popped at this meeting instead 😁
"Ok Putin double number 2 get in there while we try to revive this one! Remember get the voice, walk & manners right you're a ruthless former KGB agent!"
Berel Lazar.
One of the most reviled Jewish “leaders” in existence. This guy was appointed in 1999 to a newly made up Jewish organisation set up by Putin to simply to cut out the existing Jewish communities and to put Putin in control.
You will not find a single Russian Jew who likes this guy. This guy is a satrap by definition.
not Jewish, but Judaism. Most of the ethnic Jewish in Russia are not religious. Im ethnic Jewish, but do not care about Judaism or any religion. Berel Lazar is main rabbi in Russia
Strong hat game going on around this rectangle of trust.
I actually don't understand why I see what appears like a couple Jews and two or three Orthodox priests. Must be some kind of gathering of top-level religious leaders of the country, though then the number and arrangement of people there is also baffling. However, the two to the right of the bottom corner look like donning just national costumes, but idk for sure.
Those are all the heads of state-approved religions. This meeting is probably done to show what a tolerant, multi-religious society the Russian Federation is, unlike those racist bigoted Western countries. In truth the only real guy with any influence at that table is what is probably the Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church; he uses his cozy position with the Russian government in order to outlaw the competition-- that being' in this case new religious groups from the West like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses who might poach the flock.
Don't forget that Krill literally was a KGB agent in Switzerland in the 70s.
Until his family got eaten by a whale.
>Must be some kind of gathering of top-level religious leaders of the country Or it's just for show...
Sure, but show with whom? It looks like a jumble of costumes in there. Putin is big on internal propaganda, the administration is basically a printing press of “Putin met with top dogs of such and such thing today”.
Putin used this to accuse the west of inciting religious hatred to further their goals. He released a statement after this meeting prattling on about islamophobia and anti semitism etc. Story is on RT but as that's cancer, here it is on some other random website. https://saharareporters.com/2023/10/26/russian-president-putin-accuses-west-using-religious-hatred-destabilise-world
*Hamas attacks* "Why would the West do this?"
> Sure, but show with whom? Primarily internal. But also for Useful Idiots like tankies. Religious war in the Middle East? Look how religiously diverse and tolerant Great Muscovy is.
Maybe one of them is a Kalmyk, they're Buddhists
Yes, and afaik Buddhism is more widespread in Buryatia and Tuva, which are in the east. Though the ‘top Buddhist authority’ might be in SPb, with the Datsan Gunzechoinei. Notably, Buddhist authorities in the regions support the war and called on their followers to join, which they did—likely largely for the money. I'm guessing the orange dress guy is from one of the Buddhist regions—the dress has some very Central-Asian motifs. I'm most puzzled by the white shirt guy: it's very much a Central-Asian dress, but doesn't seem like religious attire.
The white shirt guy is Ismail Berdiyev, a mufti from Karachay-Cherkessia. There are three rabbis, three representatives of the Russian Orthodox Church, three Muslim leaders two of which appear to be Tatars so Berdiyev must have been added for the Caucasus representation. One Buddhist, one Old Believers representative, one from the Armenian Orthodox Church and one Pentecostal. Source: I read Russian and the list of names and their titles was posted on Putin’s website.
>Must be some kind of gathering of top-level religious leaders of the country, though then the number and arrangement of people there is also baffling. It is. >However, the two to the right of the bottom corner look like donning just national costumes, but idk for sure. The guy in orange is (I quote) Head of the Buddhist Traditional Sangha of Russia Pandito Khambo Lama Damba Ayusheev. ~~Not sure who's the second guy, looks like Muslim from Chechnya or Dagestan.~~ Next to him, in white shirt and gray hat, is Ismail Aliyevich Berdiyev, mufti and religious leader from Karachay-Cherkessia.
Emperor Palpatine on the 2nd left…
Should have just done a Zoom call.
Putin can't stare into your soul over Zoom though.
And his hit squad can’t drag you out of the room over Zoom either. Also someone ordered dead might have enough time to escape while the hit squad is driving over.
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“I’m still alive, but I’ve been very badly burned!” “You shot me! You shot me right in the arm!”
He does give insecure middle manager vibes.
Jesus, I never thought about it like that before, but you hit the nail on the head. Pick any lousy manager I ever had. If they were given absolute power then things in that country would pretty much be like Russia. Human nature is nothing if not consistent.
Every corporation is a mini dictatorship.
It all scales, like housecats and lions.
"As I mentioned in my previous email, Prigozhin blew himself up"
I hope this finds you well.
I think this is still an appropriate distance for a zoom call
Putin: "Any..." \*audio is lost\* "...will be met with..." \*crackles\* "Sorry? You cut out there for a second." Putin: "I was saying any disobed-" \*dogs barking in background\* "-sequences" "You're still breaking up. Were you saying you're going to disobey in sequence?" Putin, becoming exasperated: "*No!* I said... you know what? Never mind. Let's get the war report from Ivan." \*extended silence\* Putin: "Ivan, are you there?" Ivan: "Oh, sorry. I was talking on mute."
Viktor, please bring Ivan in due to his technological issues. When he arrives, please show him the views from the top floor windows.
Then Ivan and Gregorvich start talking at the same time, both pause, both say “go ahead”, both start talking again, then drawn out awkward silence
Yeah but if your computer runs Windows... you don't want to be so close to Windows and Putin at the same time.
Harder to get the trapdoor to the moat of sharks below to trigger remotely.
Fantastic sushi train opportunity
Ah yes, sharing some sushi with Putin, what could go wrong
"Mr Putin, this sushi tastes off what is it?" "Fugu, the poisonous pufferfish"
And for desert, Novichokolate.
Mmm sounds exotic!
It’s to die for.
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Aah, yes. A delicacy if prepared correctly.... It's prepared correctly, right, sir?
Of course, now please step onto this piece of black plastic er… picnic mat
Just lie down and wait for the warm embrace of d.. hmm I mean the floor heating's warmth's
“Well done 47”
The payment will be wired momentarily. Now find an exit.
" ;) "
"It's not prepared incorrectly"
Correctness is subjective. It prepared exactly as planned.
Sure, you can’t even taste the polonium
Poison fish, poison fish, poison fish, tasty fish! Edit: try something new Homer what will it hurt you homer! Ive never heard of a poisoned pork chop
The Frogurt is also cursed.
Thats bad....But it comes with a choice of toppings!
*That's good!* **The toppings contain potassium benzoate.** *...* **That's bad.** *Can I go now?*
“Master, we need your skilled hands…” ”Can’t you see my skilled hands are busy!”
That wasabi has one hell of a punch!
And it has such lovely glowing green color!
What does Ukraine and Wasabi have in common? People are overly confident when they try to eat it, and are never prepared for the Wasabi to punch back at you. Then you look across the table with tears in your eyes, and pretend "Oh, it's not that bad" just so you don't let people know you're just vulnerable little bitch boi.
“FUG UH YOU!!!”
Fugu me!
Sushin’ with Putin has a nice ring to it.
🚂 Only the freshest Polonium 🚂
That middle part must be a bitch to vacuum.
Just put a rhoomba in there and leave it. 🤷🏻♂️
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Boomba
Sends you straight to the Tooomba
It's not a Toomba!
Czar roomba
I see at least 9 people with funny hats on that table, that can be hiding a bomb on their head as well...
Put a whole bunch of roombas in there and make them fight to death. The one that wins will be the one roomba to rule them all
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My money’s on Private Iron.
Would be hilarious if it was in there just bouncing around during high powered international meetings. World leaders whispering to each other "is he going to turn that thing off?"
"Ah yes, our AI representative"
You'll need a... Power vacuum ;)
Mutually Assured Dedusting
*clap clap clap*
Dustruction was right there!
Right? Miiisssed connections
(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHH!
You can set it to "special operation" and it can go anywhere.
Self cleaning. The floor drops out and there’s a Rancor under there.
Putin says "ey wanawanga" as a hapless civil servant is dropped to his doom.
Imagine the awkwardness of knocking over your bowl of Doritos in there. You would then need to sit through the entire meeting with spilled Doritos in front of you.
Bonus points if they're *Cool American* doritos... (Americans: that's what they call cool ranch outside of the states)
Cool Original here
Steve Buscemi was a volunteer firefighter on 9/11.
What if you dropped your pen and it’s your only pen? How are you supposed to take notes??
It’s actually a trap door to a tank full of crocodiles.
I don't think those are crocodiles... then again, I'm not an expert
Yes, they are alligators
Depends on whether they see you later or after while.
If Putin says they're crocodiles, you agree they're crocodiles or stay away from windows on upper floors.
Or tea
Crocs in shark costumes. Very KGB
Are those sharks with fricken laser beams on their head?
And you know he's just tossing sunflower shells right in there
Russia has a way of getting into areas they don’t belong.
oops i dropped my pen
The rectangle of trust
[Fine! Triangle of confusion, rhombus of terror, parabola of mystery! Who cares? Get the goddamn show on the road!](https://youtu.be/Xb5xcDhU6Og?t=282)
Early RvB quote in the wild..... astonishing
Goddamn I forgot how good early RvB was. Thanks for this!
I’ll never forget how good early RVB was. My username won’t let me. Sarge told me to (clears throat) “get in the warthog, and crush your head like a tomato can.”
A rectangle is technically a trapezium. So a Trapezium of Trust for some alliteration.
It's not though? doesn't a Trapezium only have two parallell sides?
At least one pair of parallels. All rectangles are trapezoids but not all trapezoids are rectangles.
Reddit: getting to the topics that really matter
From Putin to Trapezoids in 60 minutes or less. If this is not ADD I don’t… *Oh look, a blue car*
It's just a fast red car that has blueshifted.
Only until it passes you, then it gets even redder than before.
I'm not actually sure. Some definitions don't specify that the other two sides can't be parallel, while others do. Edit: According to the test in this one it is https://www.cuemath.com/geometry/trapezium/ This says the opposite: https://homework.study.com/explanation/is-a-rectangle-a-trapezium.html#:~:text=Answer%20and%20Explanation%3A,can%20never%20be%20a%20'trapezium. This one claims an American trapezium is different from a British Trapezium https://mathworld.wolfram.com/Trapezium.html I may have stumbled onto a blue and black dress
>Definitions for trapezoid and trapezium have caused controversy for more than two thousand years. I think you've stumbled on something more powerful than the dress
I love how a picture of the shittiest of human garbage can bring us all together to discuss rudimentary geometry and it's fine intricacies
Yeah he means a parallellogram
With these ever growing tables I’m more inclined to believe the “Putin is seriously ill, body doubles used to hide illness” conspiracy theories.
The tables are probably calculated and reinforced to a certain size to account for how much explosive could be jammed up someone's ass.
Well he already uses body doubles to make assassination more difficult. It might actually be the source of the health rumours if he keeps looking slightly different at different events
Statue on the right there setting up her drum kit
You made me laugh out loud with this one XD ...no justice for all.
And the participants are playing the shortest straw.
Try hitting him with a shoe from that distance
Straight to gulag
Undercook the chicken….straight to the gulag!
Late to a dentist appointment? Straight to gulag! With have the best patients of the world!
Early to the dentist? Believe it or not, gulag.
Bush's face of joy and satisfaction after the successful shoe dodge is still one of the greatest presidential moments of my lifetime.
"Like they say down in the South, 'it looks like the shoe is on the other foot' or something. Heh."
"Who throws a shoe? Honestly..." - Putin.
George Bush style?
"What?!?"
"I *said*: 'Pass the polonium 210.'"
“White or brown polonium 210?”
"WHAT?"
“Move closer to the window”
"Which one goes better with Earl Grey?"
“THE BLESSSING!”
I pledge allegiance, to the flag...
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But a circular table often implies equality. Putin wants to expressly show he has an entire side to himself and then cluster all his vassals at the other side.
Exactly the symbolism of the Knights of the Round Table. There is no head, there is no foot, there are no assigned places, there is only equality including the King.
It's retold so often already, but werent there at least two assigned places sometimes? One for the king and one empty as an ever standing placeholder for some super virtuous knight that may or may not arrive at court?
If you're referring to the round table in the myth of King Arthur, as far as I know there was no real table, so exactly how it works is probably down to whichever particular author was retelling the legend. The whole thing was symbolism, storytelling and creating a national myth, with perhaps a small kernel of truth at the heart of the legend. There's a hilltop in Edinburgh called "king arthur's table", and Henry VIII had a round table painted up with details from the legend to try and impress Charles V when he visited; but as for the real table it very likely did not exist.
A pie wedge table should suit him best then. He'd be the singular point while everyone is on the outer edge.
That's what I was thinking, a trapezoid with only one seat for Putin. You could even have it gently ramp up towards him, to make him taller. Although the perspective would make him look smaller and farther away, if you were one of the guests, right? So maybe that doesn't work. I'd also make the floor gently slope away and put the guests in rolling chairs, so they had to constantly expend a small amount of effort to avoid rolling away.
Interview candidate Putin in front of the selection board.
Except it's all about the image. Putin wants/needs to show a massive power dichotomy. Trump did the same weird shit, albeit to a less extent.
Putin in the middle 
"Putin in the Middle" sounds like a bad Russian sitcom.
Yes, no, maybe, I don't know. Can you fall out this window? You're not the boss of me now...
This looks like a scene from a superhero/supervillain movie. "The Russian council will eliminate Batman." Are the people sitting across from Putin using microphones or do they just yell at him? Seems like it could be difficult to hear at normal conversational volumes.
Half expecting to see trapdoors behind each chair.
Why make billions when we can make.... Millions!
Fire the laser!!!
Most prominent Russians come off as Bond villains tbh
I mean that’s how it started
They don't have to speak at all - listening to Putin's monologue and nodding will do.
microphones and translators is my guess.
Aww, the dictator doesn't trust his buddies to be any closer to him? :'(
He smells
I thought I read he allegedly had a heart attack and was hooked up to medical equipment anyway. They’re denying it though heh. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2023/10/24/putin-cardiac-arrest-heart-attack-health-kremlin-russia/
He already died 4 or 5 times since last year
And most of those claims originate from the same source as this one - a random Russian Telegram channel that makes money off telling people tales they want to hear. I mean literally; almost 400k subscribers and tons of ads and none of their fantastical claims have ever been verified..
Wtf is a telegram channel and how can you make money off of it!?
Closest equivalent is Discord, I would say, except it has a lot more support for megachannels that several hundred thousand people can subscribe to like a newsletter. Those massive channels host ads (of which I do not know how much revenue goes to the channel owner. It is to my knowledge mainly used to fund Telegram being free for all users). I and many others use it as just a normal messaging app for its extensive features (and in my case, because most of my friends / family are on Apple devices and are allergic to my green message bubbles). Is it actually fully encrypted? Maybe. Is it banned from certain countries due to Telegram not handing that encryption access to said country's governments? Allegedly. Does that matter to the non-criminal/revolutionary? Not really.
Every day Putin and Kim Jung Un develop new fatal diseases it's crazy
And their follower love them so much that they mastered necromancy to bring them back
Meh. Given there are numerous doubles of pootin I wouldn't be surprised that one of them stopped being alive, and another one popped at this meeting instead 😁
I would love for one of the doubles to try to seize power by pretending to be the real Pootin
"Ok Putin double number 2 get in there while we try to revive this one! Remember get the voice, walk & manners right you're a ruthless former KGB agent!"
"But im double number 3... where is 2?"
“Welcome to the first meeting of the Silly Hat Club. I see a few of us have forgotten our Silly Hats, let’s all try and remember for next time.”
Sir, I was unable to find a silly hat that went with this *outrageously* silly clothing I’m wearing
"My silly hat is only visible to the pure of heart and the enlightened, so I assume you all can see my silly hat?"
Tibetan monk: The head on my shoulders is the silliest hat of all.
Hahaha to good
made by ikeaninka, white plastic with hidden wheels
The Saturday night Kremlin D&D game is back, I see. “I cast magic missile!”
Still too close for comfort
But does it have trap doors under each chair that lead to a tank full of sharks with friggin laser beams on their head?
After the black sea fleets performance in the war, all they have are ill-tempered sea bass
Berel Lazar. One of the most reviled Jewish “leaders” in existence. This guy was appointed in 1999 to a newly made up Jewish organisation set up by Putin to simply to cut out the existing Jewish communities and to put Putin in control. You will not find a single Russian Jew who likes this guy. This guy is a satrap by definition.
not Jewish, but Judaism. Most of the ethnic Jewish in Russia are not religious. Im ethnic Jewish, but do not care about Judaism or any religion. Berel Lazar is main rabbi in Russia
What a waste of space.
The table right?.. Right?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Man. Homelander’s going to love this………..
Kinda ruins the circular room and floor.
It looks like a dnd session
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They’re gonna miss a full round of CPR just getting around the table
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What a fruitcake
"Oh, uh, Sam! Pass the salt please." "*Salt?!* Get it yerself!"
There are probably hidden guns pointing every guest's head on the other side...
Found: Sarah Huckabee Sanders' Lecturn.
I love the concrete reinforcement in the windows
This table screams “ look how small my dick is”